Eco-Warriors v Inquisitors Only Connect

Good evening, and if you would like an extra challenge to

think about during tonight's show, let me put before you

what they say is the hardest logic problem of all time.

Have you ever heard it? It's a version of that one about the two Romans.

We're on an island with three natives.

One always lies, one always tells the truth,

one lies and tells the truth at random.

They can only say "Ya" and "Da" - one means yes, one means no

and you don't know which.

The question is,

why didn't we just go to Italy like last year?

Pondering similarly baffling questions tonight are...

On my right, Jonathan Kershaw,

a Green Party volunteer who recently joined the Campaign for Real Ale

after a 30-year decision-making process.

Peter Barlow,

a keen hill walker who saw a shadowy spectre on a misty mountainside

and their captain Brett Bostock,

a retired mental health manager who once caused a bomb scare that

resulted in the evacuation of an entire factory.

United by a passion for the planet,

they are the Eco-Warriors.

Now, on your journey so far, you've beaten the Escapologists

and the Snake Charmers to get to the third round.

How have you prepared for the next stage?

Well, I suggested we dedicate ourselves to fasting

and meditation and was outvoted,

so it was Cardiff,

frivolity and beer.

Excellent!

I thought I heard something in the back of the dressing room.

You are playing this evening on my left...

Luke Kelly, a travel enthusiast

who's counted every single barrel

of Guinness in the Guinness Brewery at Park Royal.

Rob Cumming, a rabbit lover

who's lost both front teeth,

broken his collarbone and knocked

himself out while trampolining.

And their captain,

Julia Hobbs - a marketing graduate

who can do the splits.

All professional question-setters,

they are the Inquisitors.

Now, on your way here, you beat the Cricketers,

but you lost to the Wanderers

then you won again against the Snake Charmers and the Meeples.

How have you been relaxing between games?

Um, mainly eating steak

and drinking wine.

These are my kind of teams.

Now, you won the toss,

Eco-Warriors, so you'll be going first.

Please choose

an Egyptian hieroglyph.

Horned Viper, please.

Horned Viper will be the first

question of the third round

or the quarterfinals. Are they quarterfinals? No-one knows.

I'm sure we'll debate it later.

Your first clue is coming in now.

Boring Ted.

THEY CONFER

Shall we have another?

-I think so.

-Next, please.

Violent Vic.

-Hm.

-No, I'm still none the wiser.

-No, I don't know.

-Next one?

Next, please.

Devout P. Hm.

I think we'll need them all.

-I think we will!

-Next, please.

Two seconds. GONG

Is the connection...

that...

they all refer...

No, it is too long.

I don't think you know the answer.

Over to you, Inquisitors,

for a possible bonus point.

Are they nicknames of bishops

or archbishops?

No... I mean, they might be!

But not officially, no.

Add "ious" for adjectives.

Boring, tedious.

Violent, vicious.

Devout, pious.

Repulsive, odious.

Adjectives ending "ious" and we've

whipped off those last letters

and puts a synonym before.

Nobody spotted that one. Your head

too full of archbishops, clearly!

So no bonus point, Inquisitors,

but what would you like

-for your own question?

-Lion, please.

Lion, OK. It's the music question.

You'll be hearing your clues.

What do they have in common?

Here's the first.

# A poet reads his crooked rhyme

# Holy, holy... #

Next, please.

JAZZ BAND PLAYS

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

# You got a lot of nerve

# To say you are my friend... #

God. Next again?

Next, please.

# I was the third brother of five

# Doing whatever I had to do to... #

BELL

Streets.

I need to hear something specific.

Numbered streets, got 42nd Street

in there, and 110th Street.

I'm afraid that's not it,

so over to you, Eco-Warriors,

for a possible bonus.

They all have titles in the street,

like Positively Fourth Street

and 42nd Street

and refer to New York streets.

OK. Now, Brett, love you

though I do, you must be careful

later in the round to get to the

answer a bit quicker than that,

rather than talk your way there,

but I will accept it.

New York streets.

Yes, at this stage, we need

something very specific.

42nd Street, Positively 4th Street,

110th Street. The first one was

Bleecker Street, no number there.

Nevertheless, one bonus point.

What would you like as a question?

-Twisted Flax, please.

-Twisted Flax.

OK, what is the connection between

these clues? Here's the first.

I'm not sure who the architect was.

-No.

-Shall we have another?

-Yes.

-Next, please.

-Oh!

-Wow.

Is he the guy who had it detached

and then reconnected?

No idea. Want to try another one?

Next.

-Octagon.

-Octagon, isn't it?

Next, please.

-Yes.

-Octagonal.

GONG

They're all octagonal.

They're all octagons,

so I will give it to you.

Do you know what's going on

-at clue two?

-Oh, no idea!

This is not a real person

with an octagonal penis.

This is a character in Anchorman,

the Legend of Ron Burgundy.

A character played by the wonderful

Paul Rudd and he refers to his penis

as The Octagon. It's a nickname.

His testicles are called

James Westfall

and Dr Kenneth Noisewater.

He says if you play your cards

right, you might get to meet

the whole gang.

All octagons, very well done.

Inquisitors, what would you like?

Eye of Horus , please.

The Eye of Horus. What is the

connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

Farewell, adieu.

Next, please.

Superstitions?

Next, please.

But these are not things that are

considered unlucky?

Next, please.

This must be superstitions

in boxing or something.

THEY CONFER

Things that you shouldn't do.

Things that you shouldn't do.

I'm afraid I need to hear something specific.

I will give you another go.

Are they boxing superstitions?

I'm afraid they are not.

So Eco-Warriors, another bonus

chance for you.

Are they all deemed to be bad luck?

They are, but I need to hear

something specific.

I can see why you said boxing.

Different sort of tent.

-In the circus.

-Unlucky

in the circus. That's what it is.

Circus folk don't say goodbye,

they say, "See you down the road."

Apart from Nelly the elephant, I suppose. She said goodbye

to the circus. But then maybe she came to a bad end? We don't know.

Stepping into the ring, not the boxing ring,

sitting with your back to the ring, the circus ring.

So no bonus point that time,

Eco-Warriors. What would you like?

-Two Reeds, please.

-Two Reeds. OK.

What's the connection between these

clues? Here's the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

-Ah.

-He's German?

-Well, yes. Um...

Did he have some particular role in...

I can't remember.

We'll have another, shall we?

-I think so, yeah.

-Next, please.

Ooh.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

Two seconds. BELL

Right.

Were they all the

14th of their order?

Including Louis XIX?!

Yes.

I'm afraid they were not!

Inquisitors, do you want

-to have a go?

-Last Germans

to hold those positions?

No, they weren't, and they're

certainly not all German. Nope.

They had those roles in brackets

for one day.

Felipe DeAlba was married to Zsa Zsa

Gabor for one day then she said,

"He bored me. He's a playboy

"and I'm a hard-working actress".

Dietmar Hamann - he moved to Bolton

from Liverpool on a free transfer

and was sold for £400,000.

After one day,

Goebbels of course made

German Chancellor,

but then they all died the next day.

And Louis XIX, King of France,

he succeeded his father Charles X,

but he abdicated 20 minutes later

in favour of his nephew.

They all lasted one day.

Last question of the round.

That's for you, Inquisitors.

It's the Water question. I expect

these will be picture clues.

What do they have in common?

Here's the first.

Don't know who that is.

Next, please.

Denis Norden. All Right

On The Night, he's in his 90s.

Next, please.

That looks like Murray Walker.

Next, please.

David Baddiel.

THEY CONFER

All Right On The Night, what've we

-got?

-Three seconds. BELL

-Anything?

-No.

-Um...

Laughter. That's not...

Laughter.

A reasonable guess, but I can't

accept it, I'm afraid, so a bonus

chance for you, Eco-Warriors.

Do they all...

champion some kind of mental illness

programmes to help...

resettle...

I mean, it would be magnificent if

that fellow in the first clue had

the foresight to do that as long ago as he lived, but no.

Now, I think this is a really

beautiful question.

It's extremely difficult.

You were looking at Jesse James,

Denis Norden, Harry Carpenter

and David Baddiel.

All famously involved in duos

with Franks.

David Baddiel and Frank Skinner had

a double act, Harry Carpenter and

Frank Bruno of course worked

together all the time.

Denis Norden and Frank Muir

and Jesse James

and his older brother Frank.

They were in partnership with Franks.

That means at the end of Round One,

the Inquisitors have yet to score.

The Eco-Warriors have two.

On we go to Round Two, the sequences round, and Eco-Warriors,

you'll be going first again.

This time, your clues will come

sequentially. I want to know,

can you complete the sequence

with the fourth clue?

Which hieroglyph would you like?

-Lion, please.

-Lion.

You'll be seeing the first in a

sequence. What comes fourth?

The time starts now.

Right...

THEY CONFER

-Try another?

-I think so.

Next, please.

Oh...

THEY CONFER

-I think...

-Right. Next.

-Six figures.

-He rode seven.

THEY CONFER

Two seconds. BELL

We are going for the winners of the

FA Cup who would have played eight

-rounds to get there.

-I think that's

an acceptable answer.

I will take it. I think you've

solved that puzzle.

What is the sequence?

Er, Jermain Defoe scored five goals

on that day.

Garfield Sobers

-famously hit six sixes...

-Mm-hm.

Frankie Dettori's Magnificent Seven

at Ascot.

He rode seven winners at Ascot,

that's right. And so we needed to

hear a team or a person that had

done something eight times,

eight victories. We went with

Michael Phelps who won eight gold

medals at the 2008 Olympics, but

any team who won eight matches...

That would count in that sequence,

so well done.

Over to you, Inquisitors, for a

-choice.

-Twisted Flax, please.

The Twisted Flax. What would come

fourth in this picture sequence?

Here's the first.

That's Easter Island.

Moai.

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

So just M.

Judi Dench, as M?

Exactly what we featured ourselves.

And what's the sequence?

It's M, Mo,

Moa, and Moai.

That's right, the Easter Island

heads, the Moai.

We had a match earlier in this

series where the answer was

a picture of Judi Dench as M,

and M is the 13th letter of the alphabet - spooky!

A coincidence?

-I think not.

-Not a coincidence,

we've simply run out of pictures

and Mr Waley-Cohen has a bit of a

thing for Judi Dench as M,

so we'll just draw a veil

over that one.

Eco-Warriors, what would you like?

-Water, please.

-Water, OK.

And what will come fourth in this

sequence? Here's the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

That's an old currency that gave its name to the dollar, I think.

-Right.

-We'll have to go to one of

the others. Next, please.

That's Greek.

Um...

-Yeah, I think it must be.

-Is it?

THEY CONFER

BELL

We're going for the Lira.

And that's the right answer. Why?

We think they are currencies that

went into the Euro

that had the highest denomination notes.

It's not quite the denomination

notes, it's the number of them

you'd need to buy a euro.

They're the weakest currencies.

So you need about 200 of the

Portuguese Escudo for a euro.

The Tolar, Slovenia, 239.

340 Drachma and how many lira would

you have needed for one euro

when it joined?

-2,500?

-About 3,000.

-It was 1,930,

or 1,940, that kind of thing.

Huge amounts of lire. That was the

weakest currency to join the euro.

Well done. Inquisitors, what would

-you like?

-Eye of Horus, please.

The Eye of Horus. What would come

fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

Next, please.

Sank into the swamp.

-Is that a rhyme?

-I don't know.

Next, please.

So, these are things...

Things happened to buildings

or ships, or...

Things that happened to...?

I don't know.

It has to be ships, doesn't it?

Yes, so what do we say?

THEY CONFER

Two seconds. BELL

Risen up from the seabed?

Not it, I'm afraid.

Eco-Warriors, do you know?

That one stayed up and that's what

you'll inherit, my lad,

the strongest castle in these isles.

That is exactly right.

What is the sequence?

That's the Swamp Castle from

Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

It's the King of Swamp Castle, yes.

It's Michael Palin talking to Terry

Jones about the castles he built.

The fourth one stayed up.

Very well done.

When I first saw the sequence,

it brought back memories of my hen night.

But no, a Monty Python sequence -

well done for the bonus.

And what would you like for your own

-question?

-Two Reeds, please.

The Two Reeds. OK, what will come

fourth? Here's the first clue.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

Conservatives.

Columbia con?

David Cameron?

Two seconds. BELL

We're going for something with T...

-It's TM...

-TM con.

I mean, you've got the right answer,

but can you not think of anything

that'd be abbreviated to TM?

-Theresa May.

-Yes, but...!

-OK!

Talk me through the sequence.

Tuberculosis shortened to TB

-would be Tony Blair.

-Mm-hm.

-Labour.

GB, Gordon Brown, Labour.

DC, David Cameron...

-Mm-hm.

-Labour.

Conservative!

And who was followed by

Theresa May...

So something like trademark?

Transcendental meditation, it could have been,

but, yes, we're going through

the initials of prime ministers

and the trick there is not lab,

it's Labour. Inquisitors,

-what would you like?

-Horned Viper,

-please.

-The Horned Viper.

OK, what will come fourth in this

sequence? Here's the first.

Next? Next, please.

-Roman?

-Roman.

Next, please.

Belarusian journalism.

THEY CONFER

No, I don't think so.

Going to buzz. What do you think?

Two seconds. BELL

English poetry.

I wish that was the answer,

but it isn't the answer.

Eco-Warriors, want to have a go?

We're going to try British novels.

I mean, I wish that was the answer

as well, but it isn't.

It's the Nobel Prize for Literature.

In 2013, they gave it to

Alice Munro, a Canadian who wrote

short stories. In 2014,

Patrick Modiano, French novels.

In 2015, Svetlana Alexievich,

Belarusian journalism

and then went to Bob Dylan,

an American who wrote songs.

If only it had been British novels.

That means at the end of Round Two,

the Inquisitors have two points,

the Eco-Warriors have nine.

Now it's time, of course, for the Connecting Wall and Inquisitors,

it'll be your turn to go first. So please choose Lion or Water.

Lion, please.

OK, you have 2½ minutes to solve

the Lion wall, starting now.

OK, um...

Canton, Department.

Riding...

-And... Field?

-State?

-BUZZ

-Nope.

-Field?

-BUZZ

-Hundred is one of those as well.

-Yes!

-BUZZ

-No.

Hoist, Fly is parts of a flag. And

so is Canton. Hoist, Fly...

-Hoist, fly...

-and field.

Field?

Three lives now.

What else have we got now?

MI6 chief, what are they called?

All known by a single letter?

Carbon, Cuba...

All known by the letter C?

So...?

What else is there, though?

THEY CONFER

I'm not sure about those.

THEY CONFER

I don't know.

We're going to have to just start putting things in.

If we've got Cs, what could a C be?

Are they all...

They all feel like word ones.

-Shall we just try it?

-Yes.

There you go, you solved the wall.

Let's look for the connections.

First blue group, State, Department,

Hundred, Riding.

They're all administrative divisions of places, towns,

-cities, that sort of thing.

-That's exactly what they are.

Administrative subdivisions of countries.

The green group - Field, Canton, Hoist, Fly.

-They're all connected with flags.

-All parts of a flag.

And the next...dark pink group,

Work, Power, Place, Wall.

Place, power...

Hm, I don't know.

No, too long. It is the word one.

And the answer is fire.

Firework, firepower,

fireplace, firewall.

And the turquoise group - 12, Cuba,

Carbon, MI6 Chief.

-All represented by the C, single C?

-Yes, they are.

-12 is C in hexadecimal.

-Ah!

So that is four groups

and three connections -

a total of seven points.

Let's bring in the other team now, give them the Water wall and see

how they get on with it. Up to you now, Eco-Warriors.

2½ minutes and that time starts now.

Right. Is that...

A golf...club?

A golf club.

-Can't see any more golf clubs.

-Speelman?

-Golf term? And Short?

-Could be.

-Nope.

-Not that one.

-Right...

-Nunn. Ger...

THEY CONFER

That might have an E on the end of it...?

-Geoffrey Howe?

-Put an E on the surname.

-Could be.

-Um...

Gere.

And Nunne?

Not having it. Rich?

Yes!

Right, Pert, Short...

Fresh.

Smart? Nope.

Could be a brassy blonde.

You can be...

No, it's not coming.

No, it doesn't work.

What does Speelman do?

-Is that a manoeuvring...?

-THEY CONFER

Conquest.

-No.

-It doesn't.

Time's going down. Um...

No, it's not having it.

Fresher, smarter, shorter...

Ten seconds.

This isn't working, either.

BELL

That's it, the time is up and the wall has frozen.

Well, you found one group - can you tell me the connection?

We think if you add Es on the end,

you get the names of directors, producers.

I'm afraid that's absolutely not true.

And what's amazing is that you found that group and that's not it.

It's "ard" to make a name.

Howard, Richard, Bernard, Gerard.

-It's that!

-Right.

-Hm!

But you can still get points for

the connections in the groups

you didn't find, so let's resolve the wall... There we are.

Short, Waiting, Bucket, Laundry.

-List?

-It's list. Short list, waiting list,

bucket list, laundry list.

And the next group.

Pert, Conquest, Speelman, Nunn.

-Can you put Normans in front of them?

-No!

You see, it's Stuart Conquest. I thought this would be got quickly

and I was wrong.

They're chess grandmasters.

-Ah!

-Great chess players.

Speelman, yeah.

And the next group - Brassy, Smart, Fresh, Forward.

They're all terms applied to women...

Well, not necessarily women, but people...

Sort of overconfident...

That's right.

Yes, named after people that are cheeky, so you get a point for that.

I deduct nine for saying it's women,

-so that's -8...

-Do we get them back

-because I contradicted him?!

-You just about do!

Snatched those points from the jaws of defeat, there.

But you found one group and you got two connections,

so that's a total of three.

Let's have a look at the overall scores.

The Inquisitors have nine points,

the Eco-Warriors have 12.

So everything to play for in Round Four, the Missing Vowels Round.

Fingers on buzzers, teams.

I can tell you that the first group are all difficult.

-Inquisitors.

-Complex.

Correct.

-Inquisitors.

-Rocket science.

Correct.

-Inquisitors.

-Nigh on impossible.

Yes, it is.

Don't know this one.

From the film In The Loop,

Difficult Difficult Lemon Difficult.

Next group are all easy.

-Warriors.

-Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Correct.

-Inquisitors.

-Facile.

Correct.

Inquisitors.

Too long, I'm afraid, lose a point.

Eco-Warriors, do you know?

That's too long as well.

It's idiot proof. Next clue.

-Inquisitors.

-Bread and butter.

Correct. Next category,

love in song titles.

-Inquisitors.

-Love Is All Around.

Yes, it is.

-Eco-Warriors.

-Love Is A Battlefield.

Correct.

Inquisitors.

-Love Will Tear Us Apart.

-Correct.

-Inquisitors.

-Love Will

-Keep Us Together.

-Lovely!

Next category, departments in a law firm.

-Inquisitors.

-Employment.

JINGLE

Saying employment

just as the bell goes.

You do get a point, but that

is the end of the quiz.

And I can tell you that the winners,

with 17 points are

the Inquisitors!

In second place,

after that Missing Vowels Round,

it's the Eco-Warriors with 14.

But you're not out.

In a complicated new twist in Round Three,

or is it the quarterfinals,

nobody goes home. You're somewhere,

you're somewhere, different places, but still here.

I don't really understand.

I'm joking. Of course I understand!

The winners tonight are through to the next round.

The losers go on to play the winners of Manchester City

and Burnley at Turf Moor live tomorrow on Sky Sports 2.

Lose that and it's still not over

cos they could find one of five golden tickets hidden in Wonka bars.

Fail to do that and they can appeal

to the European Court of Human Rights.

Better get a move on with that, if you know what I mean. Goodbye!