Belgophiles v Beaks Only Connect

Hello, and welcome to Only Connect.

Before we start, I'd like to say a special happy birthday

to our crew driver Bronwyn.

The other day, someone told her she had acute angina.

That's not a joke, she's got serious heart problems.

She applied to work on this show

because she has to avoid too much excitement.

Quizzing this evening are...

..on my right...

..Helen Fasham, a civil servant

who won a bike and a holiday to Lanzarote

in a national colouring competition.

Phil Small, a pharmaceutical worker

who is terrified of heights.

And their captain, Ben Fasham,

a publishing sales manager who's appeared on television in Bahrain.

United by a passion for Poirot,

they are the Belgophiles.

So far, you've beaten

the Lapsed Physicists and the Meeples.

What's the team been up to since we saw you last?

One of us has been quizzing

like his life depends on it

and the other two have been elbow deep in nappies.

Absolutely delightful.

This evening, you are facing, on my left...

Rob Cromarty, a classics teacher

who enjoys collecting first editions

and storing them in his special safety deposit box.

Aidan Sproat-Clements,

a music enthusiast who got stuck in a lift in Canada with a swing band.

And their captain,

Dan Sproat-Clements,

a French teacher with an interest in new and unusual Champagnes.

United by a talent for teaching,

they are the Beaks.

Now, beat the Disparates and the Dandies

to get through to this round.

How have you spent your time between games?

We've been trying to slice up A-level papers

on our various subjects

and complete them in 40 seconds.

-It's gone well.

-Excellent.

It's another one of those matches with two married couples.

I love those. I can sort of feel

the tension between the teams.

It's not quite as strong as the tension on the teams,

as everyone hopes that their partner doesn't get anything wrong,

or hopes that they do. Right, well, it's this lot who are going first.

You won the toss and you'd like to have the first question.

-Which is it going to be?

-Water, please.

Water. OK.

What is the connection between these apparently random clues?

Here's the first.

Next, please.

Next, please.

-Contention, convention... They're all "con".

-Possibly.

They can all be preceded by "con"

and followed by "ion"

to make a full word that describes what's at the top.

So, contention, convention, convection.

Exactly right. You didn't need to

see last one. What we're seeking -

connection. Very well spotted.

Belgophiles, what would you like?

Eye of Horus, please.

The Eye of Horus. What is

the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

-Nothing.

-OK. Next.

-Could it be relations?

-Well, what did they have to...?

Is it following an abdication?

Well, King George VI...

-Maybe get another.

-Yeah, get another one.

Next.

-They were all during the...

-No, it's horse races.

-Horse races, I think.

-Yeah.

They all have horse races named after them?

It's going to be two points

to your team as well.

You didn't need to see 12th Earl of Derby.

Yes, racing legend says that

the Derby is named after

the 12th Earl who won a coin toss

against his friend Charles Bunbury.

Otherwise, we'd be betting on the Bunbury every year.

What is the race named

after Tsar Alexander II?

-Cesarewitch.

-That's right, at Newmarket.

And the King George VI -

Chase run at Kempton Park.

Back to you, Beaks, for a choice.

-Two Reeds, please.

-The Two Reeds.

What is the connection

between these picture clues?

Here's the first.

Next, please.

Next, please.

Not a clue.

Next, please.

Two seconds.

The number 16.

Not the right answer, I'm afraid.

Belgophiles, a go for a bonus?

-Red shoes.

-That's it!

-Very Good.

-What can you tell me

about the clues we are looking at?

Well, three of them wear red shoes

and one of them is the ballet The Red Shoes.

It's a film, The Red Shoes.

That is Moira Shearer playing Vicky Page.

Ronald McDonald Wears red shoes,

Dorothy Gale in the Wizard of Oz,

ruby slippers of Course.

And that first one, traditionally,

popes wore red shoes.

But they don't all do it.

Pope Benedict brought it back in and

now the new Pope tends not to wear

the red shoes. As school teachers,

do you get told what you are allowed

to wear, do you have a uniform?

It's less strict than the kids,

but men are supposed to wear ties

at the very, very least.

-Suits usually.

-Would you be allowed

to wear red shoes?

-Yes.

-What about ruby slippers?

Oh, yes.

In that case, why don't you?

Who says I'm not?!

So, very well done. You get the bonus point.

It's your question. What would you like?

-Twisted Flax, please.

-The Twisted Flax.

What is the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

Next.

-There's two of them, isn't there?

-First and second.

-Desert Fox.

-Yeah.

-Kublai Khan, that's not...

-No.

Next.

What year was that, 1924 was it?

Next.

That's 1492.

Oh, they're all...they're all

anagrams of each other, the years.

The years are anagrams of each other.

That's it. They are number anagrams.

What are those years?

Over to Phil.

Well, it's 1942.

1942, the Battle of El Alamein.

1924. The second Paris Olympics was 1924, was it?

-That's right. Yes.

-Columbus reaches the Americas in 1492.

-Yes.

-And the death of Kublai Khan...

Grandson of Genghis Khan,

when might it be?

-1294?

-It was 1294.

Exactly. Those are the numbers you've got to work with.

They are all anagrams of each other.

Well spotted.

What would you like now, Beaks?

-Horned Viper, please.

-Horned Viper.

OK. What is the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

THEY WHISPER

Next, please.

Next, please.

Next, please.

THEY WHISPER EXCITEDLY

-Aidan will explain.

-These are...

These are the author

and the year the book was published,

and the person underneath is

the person who will be the next king.

That's absolutely right. Very good answer.

Let me ask you this, Dan.

Did you think Aidan knew the answer

or is it just something generally in your marriage,

when you're flustered, "Aidan will explain."

That's my default, but they were

both saying the same thing.

And occasionally I come in

and bail them out.

That's exactly right. They are

novels with kings in the title.

The Rudyard Kipling King novel is...

-The Man Who Would Be King.

-The Man Who Would Be King.

And the king referred to - Daniel Dravot.

-TH White, do you know?

-The Next And Future King?

The Once And Future King.

And Michael Dobbs, do you know what that's about?

Something about Charles III.

Yes, it's the sequel

-to House Of Cards.

-Oh!

The English version of Michael Dobbs

and the sequel is To Play The King,

in which the Prime Minister

is in a tussle with a king,

but we don't know who it is,

but the implication is it would be the next King Charles.

-And the Tolkien?

-Return Of The King.

And that's Aragorn, who my notes

inform me returns to claim

-the throne of Gondor.

-Hm!

What a nonsense!

Very well done.

Back to you, Belgophiles,

and the one question remaining,

the Lion.

There it is. What is the connection

between these musical clues?

Here's the first.

EPIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC

Next.

FRENCH FOLK SONG

Next.

FUNK SONG PLAYS

# And the Southern Central freight

# Got to keep on pushing, mama... #

That second song is...

-Shall we go for the last one?

-I think so.

Next.

# He said he's goin' He said he's goin' back to find... #

Midnight Train To Georgia.

Two seconds.

OK.

Exits.

I can't accept it, I'm afraid.

Beaks, a go for a bonus point?

They are leaving on trains.

They are leaving on trains.

What did you recognise?

Gladys Knight... No.

Midnight Train To Georgia. Is it Gladys Knight?

That's Gladys Knight and the Pips, yes.

Did you know the first one?

And three other songs involving

a train was about all we could get.

The first one was the score to the film Murder On The Orient Express.

The second one... J'Entends Siffler Le Train.

That the French version. There's an English one -

When You Hear The Train I'm On, You'll Know I'm Gone.

Long Train Running by the Doobie Brothers was the third.

So, well done. The connection is trains.

That means, at the end of round one,

the Belgophiles have four points,

the Beaks have four points.

And the train rumbles on towards round two.

The sequences round. What comes fourth in the sequence?

Beaks, you go first again.

-Please choose a hieroglyph.

-Twisted Flax, please.

The Twisted Flax. OK.

You'll be seeing the first

in a series of picture clues.

What might you expect to see

in the fourth picture? Your time starts now.

Next, please.

Next, please.

-I've got nothing.

-Two seconds.

Something representing technology.

Not the answer, I'm afraid.

Belgophiles, do you want

to have a try for a bonus?

Top former Reading nightclub, The Reflex.

Oh, I'm not familiar

with that nightclub,

but we do have a picture of a reflex

so I will give you the bonus.

Well done. What are we looking at?

We are looking at the part of SDLR, single digital lens reflex.

-DSLR.

-Yes, but the digital is first.

The digital watch.

Digital single lens reflex.

-And what is that?

-Camera.

It's a sort of film-free camera, isn't it?

If you wanted to buy

a Hasselblad H5D DSLR,

how much do you think

that would cost?

-£8,000.

-It would be about £35,000.

-Right, OK.

-You'd have to really want that camera.

Very well done, the bonus goes to

you, and you may choose a question.

-Eye of Horus, please.

-The Eye of Horus.

OK. What will come fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

Next.

Elizabeth of York, Elizabeth I...

It could be queens who are called Elizabeth in sequence.

SHE WHISPERS

Shall we just say Queen Elizabeth II?

Or shall we just take another one just to...?

Next.

-Wife of George VI. Yeah, that's...

-Yeah, that's Elizabeth.

Queen Elizabeth II.

Is the right answer.

You were thinking of buzzing in after two clues, weren't you?

-We should have done.

-Yeah.

-My fault.

-What is the sequence?

It's queens called Elizabeth in chronological order.

That is exactly right, and it's including the wives

of kings who were known as queen.

If you wanted to buy a note from

Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother,

asking her to pack one of her

favourite drinks for a journey,

how much do you think that would cost?

Well, it's either very rare or it's incredibly common,

so anywhere between £5 and £35,000.

It's less than a Hasselblad. £16,000.

The note said - it was a note

to a lady-in-waiting -

"I think I will take two small bottles of

"Dubonnet and gin with me

"this morning in case it's needed."

I always carry those bottles myself.

Back to you, Beaks, for a choice.

-Two Reeds, please.

-Two Reeds.

OK. What will come fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

Next, please.

Next, please.

Two seconds.

1: M.

Not the right answer, I'm afraid.

Belgophiles, do you want to have a go for a bonus?

1: S.

Not it either.

This is to do with tails.

Or, as I prefer to call it,

degree one nodes.

The points at the end of letters.

If you look at the H,

-there are four points.

-Oh, wow.

Three with an F.

Two with an R, just the bottom of the legs there,

and there is only one...

-T.

-P.

-It's P.

-Oh.

So, nobody got that,

but you may have your own question, Belgophiles.

-Horned Viper, please.

-The Horned Viper.

OK, what will come forth in this sequence? Here's the first.

Engelbert.

There's two of them...

Next.

THEY CONFER

Is it from Duck Tales or something?

Is it just people called Engelbert?

Next.

Ducks.

Names of... Oh.

Is it his son or something?

No, it's...

It's Count Duckula, maybe.

Humperdinck, Quackmore, Donald and...

Donald Duck...

-Daffy?

-Two seconds.

-Daffy.

-I'm afraid not.

Although I very much enjoyed your deliberations.

Beaks.

Huey.

Is a perfect answer.

You would expect the Beaks to get this one.

-What's going on?

-Is it generations of the Duck family?

-In...?

-In...

They're getting younger.

These are the most recent...

Yes, moving closer.

But of which Duck family?

Donald Duck's family.

-Yeah. Sorry, yeah.

-It's Donald Duck at clue three

and Quackmore is who?

-His father.

-Father.

-Married to?

-His mother.

Hortense McDuck.

And Humperdinck is...

-The grandfather of...

-Donald's grandfather.

-Yeah.

-Married to...? Grandma Coot.

-Grandma Coot.

-I want to go through the Duck family tree

in some detail. Huey...

You could also have had Dewey and Louie, of course.

But there are others you could have had.

You could have had Dugan, the child of Donald's cousin...

-Hubert.

-Fethry.

Donald's cousin Fethry.

I'm told, by the question editor,

he's still an acceptable answer

as he's the generation after Donald

on the Duck family tree.

And who's Phooey?

Do you know who Phooey is?

The French cousin?

No, Phooey is a colloquial name

for a fourth duck

that's sometimes drawn by mistake.

So, Donald's sister Della Duck has three children -

Huey, Dewey and Louie - but sometimes you see a fourth duck

in the cartoon that's been drawn by mistake, it doesn't really exist.

I mean, none of them exist

but doesn't exist in the world of Donald Duck,

and people say "Phooey" to refer to the accidental fourth duck.

I mean, we could have a long chat

about the Duck family.

This is one of my favourite questions.

Well done, Beaks. You get the bonus and you may choose a question.

-Lion, please.

-Lion.

OK. What would come fourth

in this sequence?

Here's the first.

The number of stripes on the flag...

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

I think it's countries below the tropics and the equator.

So, a country that's...

THEY CONFER

Three seconds.

Three stripes and Australia

fully right aligned.

Not the right answer, I'm afraid.

Belgophiles, do you want to have a go for a bonus?

Three stripes, the same, and Madagascar on the right-hand side.

That's not it. You are literally closer,

but what do you think the sequence is?

The three lines represent

the tropics and the Equator,

and the problem is that Australia goes too far north

so we needed a country that is entirely below...

-New Zealand.

-New Zealand.

There are only four independent countries

that are south of the Tropic of Capricorn

and we're going, as the placing suggests,

from west to east,

and we wanted to hear New Zealand,

south of the equator.

Belgophiles, one question remains, the Water question.

What would come fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

Next.

Next.

That's or.

-That's or.

-So what's the...?

THEY CONFER

Six, con, or.

THEY CONFER

What's the double letter code for Connecticut?

Two seconds.

-ED.

-I'm afraid that's not it,

so, Beaks, you've got the chance for a bonus point.

The vertical access on...

Sorry.

Indiana.

I think I'd probably have accepted either of your answers

-but why do you say Indiana?

-It's...

-IA.

-So, I'm going for Victoria.

Yes, now you've worked out the puzzle,

so I'm going to give it to you.

Yes. Iowa is the state that we went to.

I think Indiana might be officially something like IN

but if you mean IA, that's right

and you were going to say something that represents Y.

-It spells Victory.

-As I look at this question,

I realised the question writers are aiming for the word Victoria

because, let's be honest, that's what they're thinking about,

mainly through fear, most of the time - but, looking at it,

I realise you could also spell victory,

so I'd have taken Y as well.

So, your conjoined answers

fumble their way towards a bonus.

-Very well done.

-That's the married couple factor.

That means, at the end of Round Two,

the Beaks have six points,

the Belgophiles have seven.

Connecting Wall time now

and you'll be going first this time, Belgophiles.

So, would you like Lion or Water?

-Lion, please.

-The Lion Wall.

You have two and a half minutes to solve it starting now.

Tall ships.

-Hospital departments.

-Yep.

Canals possibly.

German actors. Wow.

Let go channels.

Nickelodeon and Discovery are channels. History Channel.

OK.

OK, fine, let's go for these.

Which one have I done?

THEY CONFER

Possibly canals. Kiel is a canal.

Kiel Canal.

THEY CONFER

Kiel is on the Baltic.

Baltic.

-What's that, sorry?

-What's A&E that's not a hospital department?

-Oh, yeah.

-Hang on.

Yaphet Kotto is an actor, isn't he?

-They played Bond villains.

-OK.

You've got... That's Jaws, I'm not going to fill in the fourth one.

You've got Kotto, Christoph Waltz and maybe Sean Bean.

Lee or Bean.

Might as well try them.

-Three lives now.

-All right.

-TNT is a channel.

-TNT's a channel.

-The other one is...

-Discovery is.

Or German warships.

It's Russian.

-Russian warships.

-Or canals, but I don't know what else is a canal.

-There's battleships...

-Shall we...?

I don't know what Hermione is at all.

Shall we...?

Let's go to the channels and we've got some...

I think we've done Discovery and History already,

but don't do it yet because what's the other...?

Potemkin, Kiel, Hermione...

Shall we go...?

Yeah, try one, yeah.

What else is a channel there?

A&E must be a channel. It must be.

That's it. You solved the Wall with

your last life and seconds to spare.

Very well done.

What about the connections?

Chaplaincy, maternity, ENT, outpatients.

These are hospital departments.

They are parts of a hospital.

And what about the green group, starting Lee.

Actors who have played Bond villains.

That's absolutely right.

Who are those villains?

Scaramanga is Christopher Lee.

-That's right.

-Yaphet Kotto played...

-Is it Kananga?

-Kananga. That's right.

Christopher Bean played

Alec Trevelyan, 006, in Goldeneye.

-Sean Bean.

-Sorry, Sean Bean.

And Christoph Waltz played

Blofeld in Spectre.

Good Bond villain knowledge.

The next group - History, TNT, A&E, Nickelodeon.

Satellite TV channels.

They are. Can you tell me anything else?

I'll take it. They're American.

They're all American cable channels.

That's right. And the next group.

Hermione, Potemkin, Discovery, Kiel.

I don't think they're canals, so I would say...

-Battleships.

-That's not it.

They're naval mutinies.

It was a combination of the two

but you solved the Wall for four points

and you got three connecting points

so that's a total of seven.

Let's bring the Beaks back in now,

give them the other wall, the Water Wall, and see how they fare.

Two and a half minutes, of course,

to solve the Water Wall starting now.

Alan Shearer...

-Prince Albert.

-Alex...

Albert Docks, Prince's Docks, St Katharine Docks.

We've definitely got docks here.

Alexandra Docks.

There's no Alexandra.

Any anagrams?

I'm trying to look at words.

That's got P in it. That's got ice in it.

Jackie Milburn.

Jackie Milburn, Alan Shearer, Cole

and Speed are all footballers.

Albert.

I'm trying to find...

There you go. Footballers.

-So...

-St Katharine.

Oh, sheep!

-Sheep shearer, sheep station, sheep dip, sheepdog.

-Good.

-Good.

-Three lives now.

-OK...

-Prince's tuna...

-Grass? Tobacco, lawn...

What about word ones?

Alexandra Palace.

We're still expecting docks, and we know those two are docks.

Prince's Dock and Tobacco Dock?

Dice has got spots.

Lawn spot.

-Cats eyes.

-You've solved the wall.

Very well done.

-It's almost as though you're sorry about it.

-Yeah.

Let's have a look for the connecting points.

The first, blue group - Cole, Speed, Milburn, Albert.

Footballers.

I'm afraid I need to hear something specific.

Were they captains of Wales?

They were not captains of Wales.

I think it is Al-berr, not Albert.

Newcastle United.

-They all played for Newcastle United.

-Oh, God.

I'm never going to be able to go home again.

And the green group. Station, dip, dog, shearer.

Prefixed by sheep.

Sheep. Sheep dip, sheepdog, sheep shearer.

What about the next group? Saint Katharine, Prince's and so on...

-They're all docks.

-They're all docks.

Exactly. Tobacco Dock in East London.

All docks. And the turquoise group?

Oats, dice, lawn, eyes.

They can all be rolled.

They can be rolled.

-Well done.

-Now you've solved a wall and see them all together,

you've figured it out. Very well done.

So, that is four points for the groups

and three for the connections. A total of seven.

Let's have a look at the overall scores.

So, a pair of matching Wall scores have changed nothing.

It will all be decided in the missing vowels round

and when I say, "All be decided,"

I mean nothing will be decided because nobody's going home,

nobody even really knows what sort of game this is.

For all I know, it's the final.

Fingers on buzzers, teams.

The first group are all...

Belgophiles.

-Motel.

-Correct.

Belgophiles.

-Picnic something.

-Too long, I'm afraid.

-Beaks, do you know?

-Picnic area.

Yes, it is.

Belgophiles.

Electric vehicle charging points.

Well done. Next clue.

-Belgophiles.

-Massage chair.

Correct. Next category.

Belgophiles.

-Pooh and Piglet.

-Correct.

Beaks.

-The Famous Five.

-Of course.

Belgophiles.

Rat, Mole, Toad and Badger.

Very well done.

Don't know this one? From His Dark Materials,

Lyra Belacqua and Iorek Byrnison.

Next category, anagrams of ganister.

Belgophiles.

-Angriest.

-Correct.

Belgophiles.

-Tasering.

-Correct.

END OF ROUND MUSIC PLAYS

That one was gantries,

but the bell has gone for the end of the quiz

and the winners, with 20 points,

and going somewhere are

the Belgophiles.

A noble second with 15 points,

also going somewhere, not leaving,

the Beaks. Very well done to you.

Well done, everybody.

I'll see you all again.

Thank you for watching and do tune in next week when I won't be here

but I'll be replaced by an animatronic AI version of myself

that I've had made so that I can spend more time at home

getting drunk in front of old episodes of The Professionals.

Goodbye.