Analysts vs Trade Unionists Only Connect

Hello and welcome to Only Connect, and this is a semifinal.

Things don't get much bigger than this -

although, as the word "semi" suggests,

they do get a LITTLE bit bigger. Our teams should be proud

of working their way into the Only Connect semifinals.

Contestants on other quiz shows couldn't work their way

out of the Only Connect car park, That's not to disrespect them.

All right, it is. Let's see who's come along to play ours.

On my right, Paul Steeples, an English graduate

and Altringham FC supporter,

William De Ath, a business analyst who enjoys foreign cinema

and playing badminton, and their captain, David Lea,

a political-risk analyst and rugby enthusiast

who also plays football for his local team.

They've beaten the Editors and the Technologists

to earn a place in the semifinal. They are the Analysts.

Quite a close quarterfinal against the Technologists!

-How are you feeling?

-Well, just glad to be back,

is the main thing, but looking forward to it.

-Raring to go.

-Well, let's see who you're up against this time.

On my left, Colin Whorlow,

a civil servant and PG Wodehouse fan who enjoys playing darts,

Nick Atty, a civil servant and classical-music aficionado

who enjoys canal-boating,

and their captain James Hastie, a maths graduate

who enjoys setting crosswords and playing poker online.

They are all members of an executive council trade-union group.

They are the Trade Unionists. Now, you beat the Edwards family

in a nail-biting quarterfinal. How have you prepared for this match?

We were all incredibly stressed after the quarterfinal,

so we went away and did something dull to unwind,

so, for example, Nick went and painted his boat,

and Colin went to Norway.

Poor Norway!

Not "poor Norway" that Colin went to visit,

but that it's dismissed as dull. Let's play the quiz.

We'll start with Round One.

What is the connection between apparently random clues?

Unionists, you won the toss, but you cruelly decided

to shove the Analysts over the parapet first.

So, Analysts, please choose an Egyptian hieroglyph.

-Horned viper, please.

-Horned viper.

OK. Here is the first clue of the semifinal,

coming up now.

Hmm...

THEY WHISPER

Next, please.

-It's sort of the opposite. It's too straightforward.

-Yes.

-Can't guess on that.

-No. Next, please.

Some of these are going to be mnemonics.

WILLIAM WHISPERS

Ten seconds.

-You can go next again if you want.

-Next.

Three seconds.

BELL They're things that...

-Well, if it's them...

-Go on. Say.

Are they placards at that rally that Jon Stewart had in the States?

Goodness me! I can almost see the lightbulb over the top of your head,

with two seconds to spare! They are slogans

from the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear,

which was the 2010 satirical rally hosted by Jon Stewart

and Stephen Colbert, the comedians, in response to Glenn Beck,

Glenn Beck's Rally to Restore Honor. Very well done!

-Came in at the last there.

-Well done, Paul.

That's a point to you. Over to the Trade Unionists

-to choose a question.

-Eye of Horus, please.

The Eye of Horus. Here is your first clue now.

THEY WHISPER

Next, please.

That doesn't mean anything to me. Next, please.

-Ubu Roi is a play, an Absurdist play.

-Right.

Um, a play... I can't remember who wrote it, though.

Yeah. Better... Next, please.

Oscar Wilde: The Musical...

-Um...

-Ten seconds.

THEY WHISPER

It doesn't mean anything to me, I'm afraid.

Three seconds.

BELL

We'll go with, they're all Absurdist plays.

They are not all Absurdist plays.

So, Analysts, your chance for a bonus.

They were all banned before performance.

They were not,

although you're both clawing towards the right answer.

They are all plays or musicals

which closed on their opening night.

Oh!

La Strada was a Lionel Bart flop

about travelling-circus performers.

Kelly, a musical about a man who claimed to have jumped

off the Brooklyn Bridge and survived,

Ubu Roi, an avant-garde play. Oscar Wilde was the musical

by Mike Read, the DJ.

I always have trouble with this

as a category, cos when I hear something's closed

on its opening night, I want to see it immediately!

But it's a paradox. You can't go. I'd like to have seen a musical

that was so bad it closed on the first night.

The worst play I ever saw was a Fringe piece called Toilets,

in which a woman stood in a giant papier-mache toilet

and recited The Waste Land. Can you think why, for the next question?

"Toilets" is a TS Eliot anagram.

"Toilets" is an anagram of TS Eliot.

I say that's not a reason to stage that particular production,

and I say that having sat through it.

No points there. Back to you, Analysts, to choose a question.

-Lion, please.

-OK.

-These are going to be picture clues.

-THEY GROAN

Here's the first one.

-Y-fronts.

-Next, please.

Possibly...

Is that a mini-....

Y...

Er... I haven't a clue.

THEY WHISPER

-Say next.

-Next, please.

-Burger...

-Big Mac, is it?

Bite?

Next, please.

-Under ten seconds now.

-Er...

Three seconds.

-BELL

-No. Not a clue.

-No?

Not going to have a guess? Trade Unionists, how about you?

-Oh, yes. Could be.

-What's the burger called?

-Hello?

-Oh, sorry! They're all things that have been added

to the Retail Price Index calculator.

They have not, although it is an economic link.

They are traditionally economic indicators.

The last one, it's new-house sales.

Underpants is a favourite one of Alan Greenspan.

The idea is that, in hard times, people don't buy new underwear.

If sales of underpants are dropping, people are feeling the pinch.

The miniskirt, people say that skirts are higher in boom times.

The Big Mac is a term devised by The Economist

to demonstrate buying power, what a Big Mac costs in various countries.

So it was economic, but not exactly that one.

Still, Trade Unionists, another question for you.

-Two reeds, please.

-BELL CHIMES

-Oh, sorry, guys.

-Sorry, guys. It's the music question.

You'll be hearing the clues. The first one's coming in now.

# The gas tap wouldn't turn

# I wasn't getting gas at all #

Next, please.

# Always take a big bite

# It's such a gorgeous sight

# To see you eat in the middle of the night #

-THEY WHISPER

-Next, please.

-# These days are ours

-# Happy and free #

That's it. Monday, Tuesday. Yeah. OK.

BELL

These songs go through the days of the week,

so the first one was The Gas Man by Flanders and Swann,

which goes Monday, Tuesday, and I'm not certain about the second one,

and the third one was Happy Days, which is Sunday, Monday, Happy Days,

-Tuesday, Wednesday, etc.

-You're quite right.

After three clues, you get two points.

That second one was Friday I'm In Love from The Cure.

You didn't hear Seven Days from Sting,

but they mention all the days of the week in some sort of order.

-Back to you, Analysts.

-Twisted flax, please.

All right. First clue coming up now.

-It's "golf".

-Yes.

-Um...

-Well, word derivations.

Yeah. Next, please.

-"Tip". To insure promptness.

-Yes, I think.

They're false... I think they're false etymologies.

BELL

-They're false acronym etymologies.

-That's a perfect answer.

Coming in after two clues, you get three points.

People believe that "Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden"

is the etymology of the word "golf", but it isn't.

"To Insure Promptness" for "tip", "Save Our Souls" for SOS,

"Port Out, Starboard Home" for "posh".

People believe they gave rise to those words, but no. It's false,

so well done. Trade Unionists, there is one remaining question,

water, and the first clue is coming up now.

THEY WHISPER

In Revelations. Next, please.

-It's piano...

-THEY WHISPER

It could be. Let's take a look. Next, please.

-That doesn't help at all.

-THEY WHISPER

Next, please.

-Burghers of Prague...

-Oh, there's statues of them...

in, um, Prague.

-THEY WHISPER

-Ten seconds.

THEY WHISPER

OK, we'll go for that.

Yes.

BELL Statues in Warsaw.

There are statues of them in Czechoslovakia.

There are not statues of all of those things in Czechoslovakia,

so there is a possible bonus chance for the Analysts.

They're sculptures by Rodin?

No, nothing to do with sculptures or statues.

They were all defenestrated. They all went through windows.

Jezebel was thrown through a window by her own servants.

Chopin's piano thrown out of the window by Russian troops.

Jan Masaryk, a Czech foreign minister,

there was a theory he jumped out of the window.

Now they think he was pushed.

The Burghers of Prague were attacked by a mob

who threw them out the window. Defenestration is the grisly answer.

At the end of Round One, the Trade Unionists have two points.

The Analysts are ahead with four.

Yes, it's a very tough semifinal, and it's going to get harder,

because in Round Two I want to know what is the fourth clue

in a sequence. You may only see a maximum of three

before giving me the answer. Analysts, you're going first again.

-Please choose a hieroglyph.

-Water, please.

OK. First in a sequence coming up. What is fourth?

Time starts now.

Could be almost anything.

Next.

Oh, it's to do with sound. Um...

Yes.

It's to do with the characteristics of sound.

Yeah, it is. I can't think what the order of them is, though.

-Shall we have another one, then?

-Next.

-Sustain.

-Yeah. That wasn't...

I knew that was going to be there, but not if it was third or fourth.

-Could be echo. Could be fade.

-Five seconds.

-Fade?

-Yeah.

-BELL

-Fade.

I'm afraid not. Possible bonus chance, Trade Unionists?

Release.

Release is the answer. It is to do with sound.

The clue is, it's known as the ADSR envelope of sounds,

stages of a musical note. The last one begins with R. It is release.

It's a bonus to you, Unionists. Please pick your own question.

Two reeds, please.

OK. This is going to be a series of picture clues.

What would you expect to see in the last picture?

Here's the first one.

THEY WHISPER

Next, please.

That's Jay Leno.

-It could be...

-THEY WHISPER

Oh, could be. Next, please.

-That could be K.

-That could be K.

I could well believe that's "K" somebody.

THEY WHISPER

That's as good as anything else, yeah.

-Yeah.

-That would work.

-Yeah.

-BELL

L Ron Hubbard, for example.

You're more highbrow than we are. We went for Elle Macpherson.

"Somebody with the name L" is what I want to hear.

You didn't recognise the tennis player, "I" Sugiyama.

-No, we didn't.

-"J" Leno, "K" Adams, the TV presenter.

Names who sound like letters of the alphabet.

I, J, K. I wanted to hear an L. You went with L Ron Hubbard.

-Are you Scientologists?

-No.

-No.

Would you tell us if you were?

No.

Back to you, Analysts, to choose a question.

-Horned viper, please.

-First clue in a sequence coming up.

What's fourth? Time starts now.

THEY WHISPER

OK. Next, please.

The Path To Power...

Oh, it's not... Jules...

Yeah. Yeah, I think it is.

Next, please.

-It is.

-Is it?

Someone had four books out.

-Ten seconds.

-Yeah. That was... That would be my guess.

-OK.

-BELL

The History Of The English Speaking People.

I'm afraid not. Possible bonus chance for you, Trade Unionists.

-Um...

-Somebody say something.

I was going to say A Dream From My Fathers,

-the Obama last book.

-That would have been a reasonable guess.

Not right, though. They are prime ministers' autobiographies.

James Callaghan's autobiography Time And Chance is the first one.

Fourth would be Tony Blair's A Journey.

Prime ministers in sequence of offices.

The Path To Power, Margaret Thatcher,

and The Autobiography - God bless him, it's the most exciting title

that John Major could come up with. That's him.

Then Tony Blair, A Journey. Trade Unionists, back to you.

-Lion, please.

-OK. First in a sequence coming up now.

Neoprotero...

-New something.

-Next, please.

Paleolithic...

-We need another one.

-OK. Next, please.

Meso...

Paleolithic, Mesolithic...

-Is it Neolithic, then?

-Yes.

-Worth a shot?

-We've got longer.

-Yes, we have got some time, haven't we?

-Paleolithic.

-Paleo...

Paleo, meso... I don't think it's anything other than meso.

-We're not going to get anything.

-They are the Stone Ages. Go on.

-OK.

BELL

-Neo, dot-dot-dot.

-Not a sequence, I'm afraid.

So it's a chance for you, Analysts.

-Um, ceno, dot-dot-dot.

-It is ceno. Can you explain why?

Neoproterozoic, Paleozoic, Mesozoic and Cenozoic

are the other periods that life on Earth is divided into.

That is it. "Zoic", geological eras, from a billion years ago

to the present day. We are living in the Cenozoic era.

That's a bonus point to you. Well done.

And your own question, if you'd like to choose.

-Eye of Horus, please.

-What's the fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

Next, please.

Oh, here we go.

-HE SIGHS

-1/1, 8/1.

Um...

-Next?

-Next, please.

Cubed days of the year, so 64th day...

-A normal year...

-Er...

THEY WHISPER

Is it five? Six?

-Five?

-Yeah. Five.

BELL

5th of March.

"Here we go", indeed. 5th of March is the answer I was looking for,

or 4th of March as it would have been in a leap year.

They are cube-numbered days of the year.

One cubed, two cubed, three cubed and four cubed

would make the 64th day of the year, March the 4th or 5th.

-Yeah.

-Well calculated.

Back to you, and there is only one question remaining,

the twisted flax. First clue in a sequence coming up now.

THEY WHISPER

Next, please.

THEY WHISPER

We had a mnemonic "in 1852". I can't imagine it's that.

Next, please.

1949. They're going backwards.

Is this something to do with withdrawing from Germany,

or Allied...

-THEY WHISPER

-Ten seconds.

THEY WHISPER

-The USA.

-Make the most of the time we've got.

-1947...

-BELL

1st: America, 1947.

I'm afraid it isn't. So, Analysts, you get a bonus chance.

1st: United States, 1945, because they're the first atom-bomb tests.

That is what I wanted to hear. They are the first four countries

to become nuclear powers, dated from when they held tests,

and the first was the United States in 1945.

So, very well done. That means, at the end of Round Two,

the Trade Unionists are up to five points,

but the Analysts are ahead with eight.

Connecting Wall time, and it will be going live online

if you'd like to play along.

Trade Unionists, it is your turn to go first.

-Please choose lion or water.

-Lion, please.

Right. You have two and a half minutes to solve this Wall,

starting now.

THEY WHISPER

Laplace is a distribution, so let's go with that.

There are words for fish, but Poisson isn't one of them.

-THEY WHISPER

-OK. Binomial...

Chi-Rho, Laplace.

Miss out Chi-Rho. There we go.

You've got words for fish, haven't you? Pesci, Pez,

and one other. Chi-Rho's a fish symbol.

-OK, we'll try it.

-Joe Pesci...

Rene Russo...

OK.

Danny Glover... Ah, these are stars from Lethal Weapon.

There's Christian symbols in there as well.

Hang on. The Christian symbol.

The Crucifix, the Chi-Rho, the Fish and...

and one other.

Shall we get those out? Cos we don't know what the fourth is.

-So, Fish, Chi-Rho.

-Crucifix.

-Crucifix.

-Pez?

-Right.

-You've used a minute.

-BUZZ

-Peacock might be something that has...

-Go for it.

Right. So... Now, let's have a look.

Glover, Russo, Pesci and Gibson. That's Medicine, Advice,

Pez... Things you can dispense. Dispense advice. Dispense Pez.

So that's Pesci, Glover, Russo and Gibson... Yes!

Solved the Wall! Very well done. Four points immediately.

What about the extra points for telling me the connections?

Poisson, Laplace, Normal, Binomial.

-Distributions in probability theory.

-Yeah. Probability distributions

in statistics. Next group - Fish, Chi-Rho, Peacock, Crucifix.

These are Christian symbols,

things displayed to show that one is a Christian.

They're Christian symbols. Why Chi-Rho?

That must be something to do with Jesus Christ.

Chi is the symbol for Jesus,

and Rho is... Is it "son of" or something like that?

Is it obvious I don't know what I'm talking about?

It's just the beginning of "Christ", C-H-R.

-Maybe that's just it, yes.

-Are you a heathen?

I'm afraid so.

They are the Greek letters at the start of Christ's name.

Glover, Russo, Gibson, Pesci.

These are stars of the Lethal Weapon films,

Danny Glover, Rene Russo, Mel Gibson and Joe Pesci.

They all appear regularly in the Lethal Weapon series.

And Medicine, Advice, Pez, Justice.

These are things that can be dispensed.

They are. I have to congratulate you

on some rather good Wall strategy there.

You saved the group you knew, and didn't do it second,

so as not to be stuck when you didn't know.

-Good tactics.

-Well done, you two.

-THEY LAUGH

We've been trying to put that tactic in since day one.

It's the first time we've had the chance.

Four points for the groups you found, four for the connections,

the extra two for getting it right. That is the maximum of ten.

Time for their opponents to see what they can do with the Wall.

16 new clues still need sorting into four connected groups of four.

Analysts, you've got the water wall. You've got two and a half minutes

starting now.

OK.

Watusi's a dance. Charleston, too. Turkey trot and Bunny hop is a dance.

Madison is a dance.

THEY WHISPER

-BUZZ

-OK.

There's another one. Madison. That would be five then.

-Who's Plushenko? We don't know.

-Er...

BUZZ There's the Jerk, as well.

There's just too many.

Animals and dances.

BUZZ Is it jump or something?

OK. Masala's a sauce. It's...

Yeah. Masala's a sauce, Jerk's a sauce, Curry's a sauce.

Um...

THEY WHISPER

Um, Dean, Madison... Anything from that?

-BUZZ No.

-You've used a minute.

Some chicken, then. Can we nail that?

-BUZZ

-We tried, and failed to do it.

We didn't leave out either of those two.

Yeah, OK.

Um...

THEY WHISPER

And Madison, I think, isn't it?

-There's also the...

-BUZZ

-We can't leave Turkey trot, though.

-We can't leave Watusi.

-Right.

-OK.

Christmas things. Macy's parade, Pumpkin pie.

-Thanksgiving?

-We Gather...

You're under a minute now.

-Curry and Cousins are skaters. Witt!

-And Dean.

BUZZ Oh, someone else!

Plushenko must be.

Curry's probably a sauce. BUZZ

Yeah.

There we go.

Um...

Turkey trot. Is that to do with Christmas?

Turkey trot, Macy's, Pumpkin pie and We Gather Together?

You've solved the Wall! Very well done.

Four points to you. Let's go through the groups.

Watusi, Charleston, Madison, Bunny hop.

-Dances.

-They are. Dance crazes, absolutely.

Plushenko, Dean, Cousins, Witt.

-Um, ice skaters.

-I'll take it.

They're Olympic figure-skating champions -

Katarina Witt, Christopher Dean, Robin Cousins and Evgeni Plushenko.

Ice skaters. Next one - Pumpkin pie, Turkey Trot,

Macy's parade and We Gather Together.

Things associated with Thanksgiving.

That's right. We Gather Together, a song sung at Thanksgiving.

They are all part of the festival in America.

And the last group - Jerk, Curry, Baharat, Masala?

Hot sauces, specifically for... Well, for chicken mostly, but...

I'll take it. They are hot, spicy sauces

or spice mixes. Jerk, Curry, Baharat, Masala.

Spicy sauces. Very good. Four points for the groups that you've found,

four for the connections, two extra for getting it all right -

that's the maximum of ten points.

Let's see how that affect the scores going into Round Four.

The Trade Unionists have got 15 points,

but the Analysts are ahead with 18.

That's bad news for you. You had a great Wall,

but your opponents also scored the maximum.

Is Round Four a strong round for you?

No. It's the one we've always felt was a weak point for us.

Well, maybe it won't be tonight. What do you think, Analysts?

Usually at Round Four, one member of a team comes forward

as the missing-vowels player. Have you got one of those?

We've shared them evenly so far, but who knows what this game will bring?

Are you confident you can consolidate the lead?

-Do I look especially confident?

-Yes.

But there are so many points available here. You lose them

if you get it wrong. You gain them if you get it right.

There's only a three-point gap, so it's all to play for.

Either team could make the final, but they won't unless we play.

We've simply taken out the vowels from certain phrases and sayings.

We've squidged up the consonants. Unpick those hidden clues.

Fingers on buzzers, teams, then. This is for a place in the final.

The first group all have airports named after them.

-Analysts?

-Louis Armstrong.

-Correct.

-Analysts?

-Lech Walesa.

-Correct.

-Trade Unionists?

-Queen Beatrix.

-Correct.

Everyone's favourite. It's Ayatollah Khomeini.

Next category, French names for the Mr Men.

-BELL

-Analysts?

-Monsieur Bizarre.

-Mr Nonsense. Correct.

-Unionists?

-Monsieur Croix?

I'm afraid not. You lose a point. Analysts, want to have a go?

No? It's Monsieur Curieux, Mr Nosey. Next clue.

-Unionists?

-Monsieur Incroyable.

That's right. Mr Impossible.

-Analysts?

-Monsieur Non.

-A specifically French one, that.

Mr No. Next category, game show catchphrases.

Don't know this one? From Strike It Lucky,

"What is a hot spot not?"

Next clue.

No? From Who Wants To Be A Millionaire,

"But we don't want to give you that." Next clue.

-Unionists?

-"Bernie, the bolt."

-From The Golden Shot. Correct.

-Unionists?

-"Keep dancing."

-From Strictly Come Dancing.

Next category, air pollutants.

-Unionists?

-Ozone.

-You're right.

-Unionists?

-Cigarette smoke.

END-OF-ROUND JINGLE

I personally don't consider cigarette smoke a pollutant,

but our question setters do, so you get the point.

But that is the end of the round,

and looking at the final scores,

the Trade Unionists have improved to a very impressive 20 points,

but the winners, and through to the final with 22 points,

it's the Analysts. Very well done. You've got that place in the final.

-Well done, guys.

-Well done to you too, Unionists.

It was a really tough quiz, and you did extremely well.

Very close result. I'm sorry to see you go.

Thank you for watching. If you enjoyed it, please join us again,

or, if you prefer something a little easier to work out,

try the Arab-Israeli conflict. Goodbye.

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