Wintonians v Wordsmiths Only Connect

Hello and welcome to the natural home of devoted quiz obsessives everywhere.

Only Connect.

Or as we make just as well have called it, Only The lonely.

It as a quarter-final tonight and our returning teams are:

on my right, Paul Baker, a social care studies graduate

and finance officer who runs the inaugural Winchester Comedy festival.

Andrew Steen, a sales administrator and art enthusiast who

runs a pub in Winchester and can grow a full beard in one week.

And their captain, David Norcott,

a geoarcheologist and keen darts player that keeps chickens

and whose father went to school with John Craven.

they are all graduates of King Alfred's College in Winchester,

they are the Wintonians.

You didn't know motto of King Alfred's College, which I asked you,

and I can tell you I have looked it up since and it is, "Knowledge And Wisdom."

-It is an embarrassing thing not to know.

-It is nothing if not ironic.

You beat the Quitters, how are you feeling about the quarter-finals?

Quite bewildered, I think.

That is an excellent state in which to start the show.

Let's see if we can bewilder

you further by showing you your opposition.

On my left, Brian Pendreigh, an author and journalist who has

represented Britain in the Journalists World Tennis Championship

but has never won a singles match in his life.

Chris Brewis, a former Sunderland Scrabble champion who is

a member of Amnesty International

and the Campaign For Real Ale and fears snakes and shopping.

And their captain, Dave Taylor, a retired transport manager

and keen supporter of football and cricket, who wore jeans for the first time at the age of 60.

United by their love of both reading and

writing, they are the Wordsmiths. You beat the Educators,

how have you been preparing for the quarter finals?

We have been singing our team song,

which is the Free Electric Band by Albert Hammond.

Let's have a little snatch of that now.

# My father was a doctor...#

That is beautiful, I'm going to stop you there. We haven't got all night.

Let's press on with Round One.

Very game though, thank you for singing.

You will remember, I expect, that in round one I simply want

to know the connection between four apparently random clues.

Wintonians, you won the toss.

You will go first. Please choose a hieroglyph.

Horned Viper, please.

OK, this is the first question of the quarter-finals.

What is the connection? Time starts now.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

Munich children. Children of Munich.

-Is it too easy?

-Kinder, isn't it? It is not children.

-Next, please.

-Serjeant at Arms?

-Is it something to do with symbols?

Is it something to do with chevrons?

It might be to do with chevrons. See the last one.

-And the last one, please.

-10 seconds.

-Greek Olympic team.

Three seconds.

We are going to have a stab at chevrons.

Why would it be chevrons?

Because they are the sort of thing you might use as a symbol for various

ranks of things, there are a couple of army things in there.

We'll have a punt.

Something you say in a quiz, like Red Rum or Muhammad Ali?

That is it.

A valiant guess, but that is not the answer

so Wordsmiths, you have a chance.

They are the first people in a procession.

They lead processions or parades. What processions do they lead?

The Greek Olympic team is the Olympics.

-Yes.

-Serjeant-at-Arms is the opening of Parliament.

Opening of Parliament, aye.

That is right, leads MPs from the Commons to the Lords.

The other two,

I would guess that the New York one is perhaps St Patrick's Day.

Very good guess, it is the St Patrick's Day parade.

The next one you can surely guess, it is something German.

Something German...

The beer festival.

Yes! It is the girl who leads the Oktoberfest

parade before the beer festival.

Very well deduced.

That is the kind of lateral thinking we like, and it gets you your own

question. Which would you like?

-The Eye Of Horus, please.

-Eye of Horus.

What is the connection here? Time starts now.

-It might be a year, 18-something.

-Could be a year.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

Football Association founded, 1862 or 1863.

Or maybe where it was.

Next one, please.

Something to do with EastEnders.

-10 seconds.

-Next, please.

-There was Bethnal Green.

-Three seconds.

Did they all happen at Bethnal Green?

They did not all happen in Bethnal Green, a chance for you, Wintonians.

-We think they all happened on Christmas Day.

-Not that either.

You were closer.

George Cornell was killed by Ronnie Kray in Bethnal Green,

-where in Bethnal Green?

-In a pub.

In a pub. They all happened in pubs.

Communist Manifesto drafted in the Red Lion, that is in Soho.

-Football Association founded, do you know where?

-The pub!

It was a pub, specifically the Freemasons Tavern in Covent Garden.

Alfie Moon and Kat Slater wed in the Queen Vic.

And the Blind Beggar is the infamous pub suggested by the last clue.

They all happened in London pubs.

No points then. Wintonains, your question.

Twisted Flax.

The music question. You will be hearing the clues.

First one coming in now.

MUSIC: "Tutti Frutti" by Little Richard.

Tutti Frutti, Little Richard.

Next, please.

MUSIC: "It's Like That" by Run DMC

It's Like That, Run DMC and Jason Nevins.

Who was the first one?

Little Richard, Tutti Frutti. Little Richard, Run DMC and Jason Nevins.

Next.

MUSIC: "Nothing Compares 2 U" by Sinead O'Connor?

Sinead O'Connor. Written by Prince.

Hit singles...all written by somebody else.

10 seconds.

Three seconds.

Hello?

We think they were all written by someone else, who...

That's it.

A lot of songs have been written by someone else.

Let's be honest. That's a bit vague.

Wordsmiths, I will play you a quick snatch to the last clue.

MUSIC: "Let's Stay Together" By Al Green

That is enough of that.

-You can get a bonus point if you tell me the connection.

-Al Green?

-Do you have an answer?

-They all have the letter U in them.

They do not.

In fact only one of them has a U, which would be the second one,

DJ Run from Run DMC.

I will tell you that these performers.

-Little Richard.

-Ministers.

-Al Green. They are ordained ministers.

The third one, Sinead O'Connor, an ordained minister.

Quite unusual to be a Catholic priest when you're a woman

and married.

But Sinead O'Connor was ordained in the ceremony by a breakaway group.

All the performers have been through ordination ceremonies

as ministers, no points.

You got it too late. Wordsmiths, you may choose your own question.

-Two Reeds, please.

-Two Reeds. What's the connection here?

Time starts now.

Next, please.

Next, please.

THEY CONFER

What was Prince's original name?

They've all changed their name

and then gone back to what it was...

They have changed their name and then gone back to what it originally was.

Exactly right. They have all reverted to their original names.

Last one was Cape Canaveral which was changed to Cape Kennedy in 1963

and changed back again.

Prince changed his name to an odd symbol, Oslo, do you know what

-that was changed to?

-Christiania.

-That is right.

-And Leyton Orient became...

-Orient.

Just Orient, now Leyton Orient again.

All of them changed their names and change back again.

Well done.

-Speaking of back again, Wintonians over to you.

-Lion, please.

All right. What is the connection between these four clues? Or fewer.

Here is the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

These are all things that...guises of Zeus.

These are all things that Zeus came to Earth...

Yeah, guises of Zeus. Go on.

We will have a stab, we think they might be guises of Zeus.

I will accept it. I would like to hear more if you can.

Let's ask Steeney.

He came to earth as a white bull and as a swan.

Didn't he do something terrible as a swan as well?

They are all forms taken by Zeus

and he took those forms to "seduce women".

That is was it says on my screen. "Seduce women".

Golden rain and Artemis.

Took the form of a woman, an ancient Greece Tootsie there...

..to seduce Callisto, the nymph.

Forms taken by Zeus.

Coming in after two clues you get three points. Excellent.

That leaves just one question for you, Wordsmiths.

The Water question and the picture clues. What is the connection?

Here is the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

Functions, hyperbolic functions.

Next, please.

Oh, gosh.

-I can't even see it.

-It's a collage.

Next, please.

-Spirals.

-Spirals.

Yeah.

-Spirals.

-That is indeed the connection.

Well done. What are we looking at?

That lady is doing a spiral on the ice, I suspect that they are the

-mathematical functions for a spiral.

-Formula for a logarithmic spiral.

Forget the other one, and that is a spiral galaxy.

The third one is a French TV series known as Engrenages in French,

shown on BBC Four as Spiral.

But you got the connection.

They are all spirals. Well done. you get the points.

Meaning at the end of round one,

the Wintonians have three points,

the Wordsmiths are ahead with four.

On to round two, sequences.

Also harder than your heats because it is still the quarter-final.

What would be the fourth in a sequence

is the question I'm asking you, teams.

Wintonians, you will go first. Choose a hieroglyph.

Eye Of Horus, please.

All right, you may see a maximum of three clues before telling me

what would be fourth. Here is the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

Presented by someone? Adrian Chiles?

The sequence?

Next, please.

-Soccer Saturday.

-Is there a presenter that has been

on all of these programmes? What would be the next one?

10 seconds.

THEY CONFER

Three seconds.

The One Show.

I am afraid that is not the answer, a bonus chance for the Wordsmiths.

-Arm, whatever Des Lynam is on.

-He did Countdown as well.

-Countdown?

You are terribly unlucky, that is not the answer

but it is the connection.

The answer is The Apprentice.

And the reason is, these are all the main programmes

presented by people who subsequently became host of Countdown.

Previous shows of Countdown presenters

and we were looking for The Apprentice.

Wordsmiths, your turn to choose a question.

-Horned Viper, please.

-What is the fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

Next please.

THEY CONFER

Might be to do with the words.

Next, please.

H, Henry, I think.

-They are all SI units, aren't they?

-Try that?

-Henry.

-Henry is precisely the answer I was looking for. Why is that?

SI units in alphabetical order?

Or units of...

Well, it is not just alphabetical,

had you said Hertz I might have taken that,

but we were looking for the one specifically

represented by the symbols E, F, G and H.

Hertz would be Hz.

The one represented by H would be Henry.

Scientific units with the symbols E, F, G and H.

Wanted to hear Henry and did, thank you very much

Back to you, Wintonians

for a unit of quizzing.

Twisted Flax, please.

All right, what is the fourth in this sequence?

Here is the first.

Next, please.

Oh, my God, what is it from?

It's something that a toy says or something weird like that.

-"Ha ha, that tickles?"

-Next, please.

Oh, it's levels on Doom.

10 seconds.

-Is it Insanity?

-That is not the answer.

Bonus chance for the Wordsmiths.

-Hit Me Baby One More Time?

-No! Ha-ha!

It is not. The connection is of course messages that

I have written in Valentines cards over the years.

How could you know? No, do you know the connection?

I think it is levels of difficulty on Doom and Quake, games like that.

That is exactly what it is, difficulty levels in Doom.

-And next is Nightmare.

-Nightmare!

-That is what it would have been.

So close but no cigar. Back to you then, Wordsmiths, to choose.

-Two Reeds, please.

-What is the fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

Are these stops on the...

Next, please.

Six, San Francisco.

Round the world in 80 days, perhaps?

-Keep going.

-Next, please.

Stop 8, London.

Stop 8, the Reform Club, London.

Have a look at the other clues and go again.

London. London.

Stop 8, London, that is all I needed to know.

Why is that?

Around The World In 80 Days.

It is the planned itinerary of

Phileas Fogg, in Around The World In 80 days.

You went too specific even for us. Save it for the final.

Not that I am suggesting they will get there, of course.

Stop 8, London was the destination of Phileas Fogg, well done.

Wintonians, what would you like?

-Lion, please.

-Lion. What is the fourth in this sequence?

Here is the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

-What's the last...?

-George III.

Next, please.

THEY CONFER INAUDIBLY

Five seconds.

Two seconds.

Elizabeth in 2012.

I'm afraid that is not the answer, so there's a possible bonus

-for the Wordsmiths.

-Elizabeth in 2002.

-Elizabeth in 2002.

Have a look at the other clues and go again.

-Elizabeth II.

-Elizabeth II in 2002.

I suspect you know, Wintonians, that it was to do with jubilees.

It's the year's in which these monarchs had their Golden Jubilees.

The next one after Victoria to reign for 50 years,

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.

Diamond Jubilee was 2012 but we were looking for the Golden one. Right.

That leaves on question, Water. It's yours, Wordsmiths.

They're going to be picture clues.

What would you expect to see in the fourth picture? Here's the first.

-Transistor radio.

-Transistor radio...

Next, please.

Trotsky.

Canterbury, where someone was murdered.

-Pick it.

-So what is connecting?

-Trotsky... One.

-Back to Mexico.

Ten seconds.

-Walk, trot. Walk, trot.

-Trotter.

Three seconds.

-Gallop.

-Gallop.

And I'm afraid you're out of time,

so there's a possible bonus chance for the Wintonians.

We'll say gallop.

Have a look at the other clues and try again.

Oh, for heaven's sake! I'll take it.

Could you not think of anything with the word "gallop" in it?

As I think your opponents also knew, Walkman, Trotsky, Canterbury.

I'm going to take "gallop", but I would've liked, for example,

The Galloping Gourmet,

as we've chosen something with "gallop".

It's a horse's gait getting faster. Well done for the bonus point.

Meaning, at the end of Round Two, the Wintonians have got four points,

but the Wordsmith are ahead with nine.

Time for the horrors, or if you're a masochist,

joys of the Connecting Wall.

Wordsmiths are going to go first this time. You have a choice.

-Would you like Lion or Water?

-Water, please.

-OK.

Two and a half minutes to solve the Water Wall starting now.

Melchett's in, erm...

-Erm, yeah. Blackadder...

-Sam Browne rings a bell. Baldrick's a bell.

So we've got Flasheart, Melchett, Darling...

..and Baldrick.

Baldrick's also a bell. Sam Browne should be uniquely a bell.

-So try Baldrick.

-What others? Girdle.

-Girdle, yeah.

-Obi, that's a sash, isn't it?

-Try it.

-Well done. Frankland's a prison, Parkhurst's a prison.

-Belmarsh.

-Belmarsh. Think Whitemoor is as well.

-Try.

-Might be Woodhill.

-Parkhurst, Whitemoor, Belmarsh.

All right, we'll try the five and you look at others.

Van Diemen, Van Dyke, Van Allen, Van Persie.

-Van Dyke, Van Persie.

-That's three lives now, remember.

Melchett, Darling, Flasheart...and one other. What would the others be?

-Parkhurst, definitely a prison.

-Let's put... Parkhurst and Belmarsh

are definitely prisons. It's just between Woodhill and Whitemoor.

-You work it out. Go for it.

-You're about halfway through the time.

-Whitemoor?

-I thought we tried Whitemoor before.

-Two more lives.

Try it again with Whitemoor because...

-Whitemoor...

-Frankland...

-Parkhurst... Belmarsh.

-One more go.

-Flasheart's definitely...

-Melchett's definitely in black there.

-Darling...

You wouldn't think it's a prison, would you? No, it has to be.

-Frankland? When they were...

-Right, try.

-Or is it Parkhurst?

-Just...

-But Frankland sounds as it's most likely to be...

-Blackadder.

-You've got 30 seconds.

-It's going to be Woodhill.

Frankland was a night. Frankland seems the most likely.

-We going to risk it?

-Yeah, we have to try.

-Ah, no.

That was your third life and the wall's frozen

but you got two points.

What about some connections? Tell me about the first group.

They're all belts or sashes or...

That's what they are, belts or sashes.

-What about the next one?

-Van.

You can put "Van" before all of them.

Do you know which people you get if you do that?

Well, Van Allen, Van Persie...

Yes, James van Allen, the scientist. Who's van Persie?

-Robin van Persie.

-He is a footballer.

Van Diemen, the explorer.

Governor General of the Dutch East Indies.

-And van Dyke?

-Dick.

Lovely Dick van Dyke.

You can also get connecting points for the groups you didn't find.

So, let's resolve the wall.

Flasheart, Melchett, Parkhurst, Darling?

They're all characters in the Blackadder series.

Yes, specifically Black Adder Goes Forth.

It was Parkhurst you didn't know. Driver Bob Parkhurst

-was that elusive character.

-Bob.

Yes, Bob.

What about the last one?

-They're all prisons.

-They are high security prisons.

It was unlikely that Darling would be a prison, isn't it?

They say it's easy in there now but it's not loving.

So, you found two groups and you got four connecting points -

that is a total of six.

Time to bring back the Wintonians and see what they can do

with an equally fiendish quarter final Connecting Wall.

But a new wall, of course, 16 fresh clues.

You're going to get the other wall then, Wintonians. Good luck!

You've got two and a half minutes to solve it. Starting now.

Right, well, Beverley, Halifax, York, places in Yorkshire. Scarborough.

We've got Beverley Sisters, Scissor Sisters, Pointer Sisters.

Andrews Sisters.

Places in Yorkshire. Richard of York Gave Battle in Vain.

ROYGBIV. But they're all in there.

..There's gave as well, isn't there? Let me go through the...

You keep going. You can go through Yorkshire towns.

Howden is one, I think. No.

Where's Southwell?

Anyway. Building societies. Halifax. Alliance. Portman.

Portman is one, yeah. Is the Howden or York? Try one.

Try one. You go on to something else and I'll float around with these.

OK.

Three lives now remember.

Battle is the place where they had the battle of Hastings.

If it's a place...

-There was a Battle...

-Vain has an alternative spelling.

I think Richard of York gave battle in vain is one of the answers

the rainbow one, isn't it? Do you not think?

Well, we did it. We tried it. No, but there's Richard York gave battle.

Oh, I see! So, Southwell, Howden, Croydon.

Are they...? Are they London boroughs?

They're all... I don't know.

Are they London boroughs? Is Howden London?

-I don't know.

-I think Southwell and Croydon definitely are.

-Howden.

-Is "Gave" gave, or is it gah-vay or something weird?

-Archbishops.

-There is a Bishop of Croydon, isn't there?

-There's a Bishop of Southwell.

-There's a Bishop of Southwick.

-Oh, yeah.

-So... You've solved the wall. That is four points immediately.

Let's look for the connections.

Beverley, Scissor, Andrews, Pointer?

-Er, sisters.

-They are singing sisters.

Not all of them actually sisters. I think the Scissor Sisters are boys.

But the something Sisters to make pop groups. That's right.

Next one...

-Building societies.

-That's it.

-They're all building... Actually, former building societies.

-And the next group...

York, Southwell, Howden, Croydon.

-Do they all have bishops?

-Now, that is very broad.

I don't think they got Archbishops. Let's go with Archbishops.

No, you've gone too far again.

Archbishop of York, yes, but there's no Bishop of Howden.

I wanted - because it is religious - minsters.

-I was going to say it.

-York Minster, Southwell Minster, Howden Minster,

Croydon Minster. Minster churches.

Or the towns that contain them.

What about the next group? Gave, Richard, Vain, Battle.

They're part of the mnemonic for remembering rainbow colours.

That's right. Richard of York gave battle in vain.

So, four groups - that's four points immediately.

Three connections. It's a total of seven.

Let's see how that leaves the scores.

You'll find more connecting walls on our website -

where you can also write your own.

We're going to play Round Four - the missing vowels round.

Fingers on buzzers, teams.

The first group are all...

Wordsmiths...

Correct.

Wintonians...

Correct.

Wintonians...

Correct.

Wintonians...

Correct. Next category...

Wintonians...

Correct.

Wintonians...

Correct.

Wordsmiths...

Correct.

Wintonians... Correct.

Next category...

-Wintonians.

-Barrier st...

-No. I'm afraid you lose a point.

Wordsmiths, do you know it? Too long.

The answer's barriers to entry. Next clue.

-Wordsmiths.

-Net cost.

-I was looking for unit cost, but I'll take that.

Next clue.

Don't know this one. It's acid test ratio.

Next clue.

Wordsmiths. Correct.

Next category.

Wintonians. Correct. Oh!

And that is the end of the quiz. Nailbiting Round Four.

Ends with the Wintonians on 17.

But the winners with 19 are the Wordsmiths.

Very well done, Wordsmiths. You're through to the semifinals.

And so unlucky, Wintonians. You were really close on the early rounds.

Absolutely made up the numbers.

-Just pipped at the end. Thank you very much for playing.

-Thank you.

Please join me next time for another episode of the quiz

that's harder than a Glasgow landlady.

And, as you'd know, if you were here with me in the studio,

smells just as strongly of whisky. Goodbye.

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