Draughtsmen v Numerists Only Connect

Sometimes silence says more than words ever could.

But that's rarely the case in broadcasting, so I'll press on.

It's the quarterfinals.

Joining me are two teams who haven't met before in this competition,

but you can be sure they've studied each other's form

and considered each other's strengths and weaknesses.

They may have had each other followed and been through each other's bins.

They've probably acquired telephoto lenses and watched each other undress.

Immoral, illegal, but completely understandable because at stake

is no less than a place in the Only Connect semifinals.

And indeed, nothing more.

We're saying hello again to, on my right, Andy Tucker,

a former diplomat who speaks fluent French, Russian and German

and can order a beer in most European languages,

Steve Dodding, a dental surgeon who enjoys skiing and cycling

and has had close to 100 letters published in national newspapers.

And their captain, Iwan Thomas, a chartered chemist

and recently retired wicket keeper who enjoys playing the guitar.

United by their love of a nice pint or three, they are the Draughtsmen.

You beat the Joinees in a tie-breaker,

which is you alone as captain, not all three of you.

-Did you secretly enjoy that, working alone?

-No. It was stressful

having a responsibility to other people's future

in Only Connect lying on your shoulders.

Let's see if you'll have a close match tonight.

You are playing, on my left, Hannah Twitchell, a postgrad student

and former chair of her university science fiction society

who enjoys confectionary making.

Dorian Lidell, a maths student at Bath University who enjoys

Philip K Dick novels and dines out at a different restaurant each week.

And their captain, James Wilson, a trainee analyst and programmer

who is also an award winning Latin and ballroom dancer.

United by their aptitude for numbers, they are the Numerists.

James, you defeated the Trenchermen in your first heat. Tell me about that.

Well, they got off to a flyer with a five pointer on Miss World and fortunately we came back.

We had a lucky AFC Wimbledon question

and I've sold programmes at an AFC Wimbledon match.

That came in handy.

We were behind at the halfway stage, but we came through to win it.

Let's see if you'll be winning this evening.

One of you will be going through to the semifinals

and we'll start deciding who that's going to be by playing Round One.

I want the connection between four apparently random clues.

Draughtsmen, you are going first.

Let's have your first Egyptian hieroglyph.

-Eye of Horus, please.

-OK, the first set of clues of the quarter-final

is starting now.

-Gypsy Moth IV.

-Gypsy Moth IV.

-Gypsy Moth IV.

-Go for another? Another, please.

-Nicholas Breakspear.

-The fourth. It's people who are fourth, yeah.

The connection is fourths.

That is absolutely right.

Designated fourth, IV Roman numerals, Henry Bolingbroke,

you would have had next, who is...

-Henry IV Part I and II.

-And Star Wars: A New Hope.

Now, why is that number four?

It was originally number one and became number four

when they added the prequels.

-Are you Star Wars fans over there?

-Not particularly.

Never watched one. I should be on that programme.

-You've never seen any of the Star Wars films?

-No.

-No.

-I have.

Interesting.

I'm going to guess, Dorian, that you have seen the Star Wars films.

-No, that's completely wrong!

-Really?!

-Yes.

Sorry, that was just an assumption from your haircut

and general scientific demeanour, that you must be a Star Wars fan.

I enjoy reading sci-fi.

There will be people watching banging their heads on the floor.

Do you know how many Star Wars fans watch our show?

And Doctor Who fans. This is...

I'd like to apologise on behalf of the BBC

for the low viewing figures of Star Wars.

We'll remedy that later. Back to my hotel room to watch them all.

Very well done, Draughtsmen.

Three points for coming in after two clues and Numerists,

-your turn to pick a question.

-We'll have Lion, please.

Lion. These are going to be picture clues. What's the connection?

Here's the first.

Next.

INDISTINCT WHISPERING

Next.

-That's a two-spot ladybird, isn't it?

-Ladybird.

-Things with two spots?

It's not one of the ones that's taking over England,

even though it's non-native to it?

-Oh, is that a...?

-But I don't know the other two.

-Next.

-Yes.

-Yes.

-OK.

-How do you want to say this?

-They're non-native species that are now dominating.

-OK.

BELL RINGS

They're all non-native species that have now overtaken the original...

They're now dominating their environment when they shouldn't be.

-In the UK.

-That's about right.

They're invasive species brought to the UK,

they've caused environmental damage.

Worst of those, the squirrel. These grey squirrels...

I try to feed the birds in my garden,

whatever you put the food in, the squirrels have evolved so highly,

they're out there with a knife and fork, just tucking in...

Pliers they've got, for getting through the wire. I'm getting a gun.

Well done, Numerists. Draughtsmen, it's your turn to choose a question.

-The Horned Viper, please.

-The Horned Viper. What is the connection here?

Time starts now.

It's...castles... Um...

-Is that the Swedish royal family's palace?

-Could be.

-Next, please.

Chateau de Rambouillet is...

It's where the French royal family were

and it's where the first of the G7 meetings were held.

-I think it could be royal residences.

-Next, please.

-Well, that's the Pope.

-So we're saying...?

-Summer residences.

Those are residences of heads of state

-which they use during the summer.

-They're summer residences.

You didn't need to see Balmoral. Whose are those other residences?

Chateau de Rambouillet was, I think, the French imperial family.

The French president uses that.

Marienborg is perhaps the Swedish royal family?

-Danish prime minister. But close.

-No, not...

Castel Gandolfo is above Lake Albano, just outside Rome.

That's where the Pope goes for his holidays.

That is the Pope's summer residence. Balmoral for the Queen. Well done.

Draughtsmen, you're doing well. Numerists, it's now your turn to choose a question.

-Twisted Flax, please.

-Why not?

What is the connection between these four clues? Here's the first.

-I have no idea.

-Don't know.

-Next.

-No idea.

-Next.

-Oh.

-Men In Black.

-So what's...? Shall we just go with it?

-I think that's the best...

-It seems likely.

-So what do I say?

-It seems likely.

Yeah, just... Right.

Men In Black?

That is the answer. You need to say it with more conviction.

Even if you're wrong, I get tricked into thinking you're not.

Very good. Men In Black.

What can you tell me about the people there?

Agent J and Agent K are the Men In Black from the film in question.

I'm guessing the papal liaison to Mussolini wore black. Um...

Specifically a chap called Tacchi Venturi, was a papal liaison.

-And Valentine Dyall? You know who that is?

-No.

-No idea.

Do you know over there?

-SPOOKY VOICE:

-He was the Man In Black on BBC radio in the 1950s.

From Appointment With Fear.

Ooh, you brought him alive there, I'm shivering!

-And you win the right to choose a question.

-Two Reeds, please.

Two Reeds.

Music ahoy, you've got the sound question, you look delighted(!)

First one coming in now.

# Our day will come

# And we'll have everything... #

-KD Lang did a version of this.

-Next.

# I have never dreamed it, have you ever dreamed... #

That's the Dutch girl. Um...

What's her name?

Next.

# Mama may have, Papa may have... #

-And this is...

-Ten seconds.

Next.

# Song sung blue, everybody... #

-Two seconds.

-Jewels.

-It's jewels.

-That's it. It's gemstones.

I'm so happy, that was like listening to my own iPod there.

What a beautiful selection of music! Who did you recognise?

-There's Caro Emerald.

-Second one, Caro Emerald.

-It was Neil Diamond at the end.

-Neil Diamond at the end.

Pearl Bailey was the third and the first Ruby and the Romantics.

So all had gemstones in the names of the performers. Well done.

And there is a sole question remaining for you, Numerists.

It's the Water question. First clue coming up now.

-I have no idea. Any ideas?

-No, I don't know.

-Next.

-Oh.

-Oh.

-Um...

-The Superbowl thing. OK.

OK, next.

Any ideas? It's that... Do you want me to go next?

-We've got 20 seconds left. Hold on.

-Hang on.

-Um...

I don't know. I don't know. I have no idea.

-Next. I don't know.

-Next.

-Ten seconds.

-Is it...? Um...

-Help? Shall I go with it? I have no idea.

-I don't know.

-Three seconds.

BELL RINGS

404.

-And why's that?

-It's not...

Something's not found on the internet, it's 404.

It's not the answer, a possible bonus for the Draughtsmen.

Is it the first commercial activities of internet millionaires,

with the last one being Zuckerberg and Facebook?

You're so close, but I'm afraid

I can't take that, but you're very close.

They are things that inspired the founding of popular websites.

That first one, email newsletter for San Francisco,

that's what Craigslist was originally.

Wardrobe malfunction video not found, a chap was trying to find

a video of the bit of the Superbowl where Janet Jackson had

an awkward incident, couldn't find it, and decided to start YouTube.

The broken laser pointer, that was a chap called Pierre Omidyar

trying to sell such a thing and started the creation of eBay.

And the last one, that was Mark Zuckerberg launching Facebook.

That means at the end of Round One, the Numerists have got three points,

but the Draughtsmen are ahead with six.

Onto Round Two then, the sequences. This time, the clues come in a row.

Teams, I want to know what is fourth in the sequence you're looking at.

-Draughtsmen, which hieroglyph would you like?

-Eye of Horus, please.

Eye of Horus. Your first in a sequence is coming up now.

Oh, it's... No, it's rugby.

Place kickers. It's either Dan Carter of Jonny Wilkinson.

-I think it's Jonny Wilkinson. First, Jonny Wilkinson?

-Yeah.

First, Jonny Wilkinson.

Coming in after just one clue, you get five points.

First is Jonny Wilkinson.

-Why?

-They're the most points scored in international rugby union.

Place kickers in international rugby union.

-For New Zealand, Australia, Scotland and England.

-Do you know?

That's more information even than I've been told before the game

when I shrieked at our question editor, "What does it mean?

"How does rugby union differ from the other sorts of rugby?

"How do you get points?" You may be right. I simply don't know.

A brilliant answer and top of the tree, Jonny Wilkinson. Well done.

All right, Numerists, time to roll your sleeves up.

-What would you like?

-Two Reeds, please.

-The Two Reeds.

What would be the fourth in this sequence? They're picture clues,

so what would you expect to see in the fourth picture? Here's the first.

THEY WHISPER Next.

Um... Sin...

-That's Tan.

-That's Tan.

-Next.

-Any idea who that is?

-No idea who that is. Do you know?

We can't go next, it's a sequence.

If it's a sequence, what sequence is "Tan" in?

It's not like a...

Votes, tan, person.

Five seconds.

-BELL RINGS

-I've got a good feeling about this.

-Cos.

-Cos, you're going for?

-Yep.

That's not a picture. What would be in the picture?

-A cos lettuce.

-Yes.

A lovely cos lettuce.

But it isn't. So there's a possible bonus chance for the Draughtsmen.

-We're going to go for George Clooney.

-And why would that be?

Because he's very handsome.

I need more.

It could be The Girl From Ipanema.

Because she's tall and tan and young and lovely,

or young and handsome, depending on... We're not sexist over here.

I'm going to give you the point.

The connection is - these are tall ships, that's tan,

the brilliant Kirsty Young.

Tall, tan, young and lovely.

I was tempted to immediately accept George Clooney as something lovely,

but I needed a little bit more of a gloss.

I feel ashamed actually about that, but nevermind.

In my mind, it was Michael Portillo. It was that book The Lovely Bones.

The Alice Sebold novel.

But Clooney certainly acceptable as a lovely thing.

So that's a bonus point to you, Draughtsmen.

What about your own question?

-Water, please.

-Water.

What's the fourth in the sequence? Time starts now.

Next.

2000, 2002...

Something happening in 2006, or...

Shall we go for the next one?

Next, please.

That was last year, wasn't it?

Diamond Jubilee?

Days off, is it?

Ten seconds.

-BELL RINGS

-Bank holidays.

The Queen's...Diamond Jubilee.

Fourth in the sequence would be the Queen's Diamond Jubilee.

And why is that? Because we all got a special bank holiday to celebrate.

That's right. It's a series of special bank holidays.

Millennium, Queen's Golden Jubilee, William and Kate's wedding

and the Queen's Diamond Jubilee. Last one. Well done.

OK, Numerists, time to choose a question. Which will it be?

-Horned Viper, please.

-Horned Viper it will be for you.

What is the fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

It could be lots of things. Next.

Oh, she won an Oscar, didn't she?

Next.

It's not in order of age at which they've won an Oscar, is it?

-Who is four, though?

-Oldest Oscar winners?

I can't remember his name.

THEY CONFER

I don't remember his name.

Ten seconds.

-I don't know. Just try someone. Try someone old.

-Three seconds.

BELL RINGS

-Four, Helen Mirren.

-And why?

She's not young and she's won an Oscar.

SHE MOUTHS

Draughtsmen, there's a possible bonus.

We think Katharine Hepburn.

-Why do you think it's Katharine Hepburn?

-Number of Oscar wins.

-And nominations.

-Wins.

-Wins and nominations.

It doesn't matter, Katharine Hepburn is the correct answer.

They are actresses who've won

one, two, three and four Oscars for acting.

Meryl Streep, actually, one of hers was a Best Supporting Actress.

All acting awards. And the only woman

to have won four Oscars for acting is Katharine Hepburn.

Who is not young, but wonderful.

Possibly not even alive now.

No, she died, about two or three years ago.

That's about as un-young as you can be.

Draughtsmen, you get the bonus point.

-What would you like as a question?

-Twisted Flax, please.

Twisted Flax. First in the sequence, coming up now.

THEY CONFER

First women... Women heads of state, or something.

-It's not Winter Olympics, is it?

-No. Next.

Next.

Montenegro, 2006.

Serbia, 2006.

BELL RINGS

Serbia, 2006.

Is not the answer.

So there's a possible bonus chance for the Numerists.

-We think it's South Sudan, 2011.

-That is exactly what it is. And why?

They're the most recent countries to join the UN.

That is right.

Admission of the UN member states.

Next would be South Sudan, 2011. Very well done.

Bonus point to you and one last question - Lion.

What is the fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

Next.

Next.

Are they to do with steps in a programme,

-like the 12-step programme?

-Next.

No, the 12-step programme,

like if you are recovering from addiction to something.

No, but it's not, it's...

I thought it was conversion to...monastic life.

Perhaps Islam?

Go on, Dorian, what do you want to say?

Ten seconds.

Acceptance...

-No...

-Dedicate yourself to...

-BELL RINGS

I'm going to nominate Dorian for this one.

-Is it dedicating yourself to God?

-I'm afraid it's not.

So there is a bonus chance for the Draughtsmen.

Erm... Reaching nirvana.

No, that's not it. Do you recognise what this is?

I can't remember what it's called. There's a four-step programme.

It's not the four-step programme that Tony Blair did?

I... I certainly don't think so.

It's not stages in converting to monastic life

or being a nun or something?

No! This is the 12-step programme of Bill W, Alcoholics Anonymous.

Step four: make a fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Step three: turn our lives over to God, as we understand him.

Step two: belief in a greater power.

Step one would be? Admit we were powerless over alcohol.

12-step programme.

At the end of round two then, the Numerists have got four points,

but the Draughtsmen are ahead with 15.

Time for the connecting wall, that fiendish place

where the number of connections are multiplied by four.

You've seen it before, Numerists, you'll see it again,

but I'm afraid they will be different clues from last time.

-Would you like Lion or Water?

-Lion, please.

OK, the lion wall, two and a half minutes to solve it, starting now.

OK, let's see.

There are some rabbits from Watership Down.

Oh, yeah, OK. Pipkin.

Clover is as well. Blackberry is as well.

-Very good, OK.

-Hang on, Marmite...

Are these not things that have different names in Australia?

They have Vegemite there.

So you think, what - Honey, Curry, Terrine and Marmite?

No, I don't know. It's going to be... Olla?

I think they might be children's TV characters, but that's already gone.

-You think Pipkin could be?

-Yes. How.

How is... You know, Indian "how".

You think Olla might be there as a greeting as well?

But I can't see any others. Bod?

No.

Different in Australia. What else have we got?

I don't think it will be that. I mean, Bod is...

-Rainbow is another children's TV character.

-It is, yes.

Was it How, or How 2?

There was a show called How.

What else could we possibly have?

-No, OK. Honey. Honey is a girl's name.

-Sweet tooth, sweet honey.

Magpies. They steal shiny things? They're black and white.

Bod... Bod is a character in something as well.

-It isn't in the borrowers, is it? That's Pod.

-No, that's Pod.

Any idea about Cocks? I have no idea.

It sounds like all sort of things. It sounds like a cockswain

or a type of apple.

Things that end in "wain" for example.

-Curry.

-I don't see anything else. What goes with Rainbow?

What goes with Rainbow?

-Rainbow... Over the rainbow?

-Sweet tooth.

Sabre tooth...

Pipkin sounds like a Dickens name to me.

If you could think of anything with Dickens, Dickensian.

Running out of time.

I don't see any more obvious ones.

Ten seconds.

And you're out of time and the grid has frozen.

But you have found a group. I will give you a bonus point

if you can tell me the connection. Blackberry, Fiver, Hazel, Clover.

-They're the rabbits from Watership Down.

-Yes, they are.

More bonus points available for the other connections,

so let's resolve the wall.

What about that second group?

-Children's TV shows.

-Yes, they are.

Children's TV shows from before your time, I suspect - the 1970s.

All great shows. But that's right.

Next one, the purple group.

I honestly don't have a guess. Just try something.

-They have different names in Australia.

-Oh, no, I don't think so.

Some of them aren't English words, they are French words -

"Mar-meet", for example, not Marmite.

They're cooking pots. Earthenware cooking pots.

And what about that last group? Curry, Cocks, Honey, Tooth?

-They can be preceded by "sweet"?

-No.

But they can be followed by "comb".

Currycomb, cockscomb, honeycomb, toothcomb.

People used to say fine-toothed comb,

but a toothcomb is actually a thing,

currycomb for grooming horses.

You did find one group and two connections. Three points.

Time to bring back the Draughtsmen,

for another fiendish quarterfinal grid

still needs solving in the same way.

Hello, Draughtsmen, you're going to get the Water wall.

Two and a half minutes, starting now.

Lavender's a herb, Borage is a herb,

-Angelica's a herb.

-Dill is a herb.

Savory as well and Rosemary - too many herbs.

Tower Hill, Ludgate Hill, Parliament Hill and Primrose Hill

are hills in London.

-Rosemary, Lavender.

-Gort.

-Gort is...

-General.

Gort, Montgomery... Alexander and Ironside.

-No.

-No.

Mariette is the one off Darling Buds Of May, isn't it?

Pop, yeah, Darling Buds Of May, it's going to be.

Rosemary, Pop, Mariette and Primrose.

-Mariette.

-No.

Mariette's got to be in that group. And Rosemary.

Rosemary could be out of that group. Take Primrose...

-Mariette.

-Lavender?

-No, that wasn't one of them.

Mariette. General Gort, General...

-General Ironside...

-Angelica.

Gort. Ironside...

We'll go for Gort, Ironside...

It could be any of them.

-Alexander.

-Peter de Savory, isn't there?

-We tried that combination.

We tried Montgomery.

We're not doing very well, chaps.

Right, let's go for the herbs and see if we can possibly...

-Borage.

-Borage. Rosemary... We've tried that combination.

You've got a minute left.

Dill.

Borage has got to be a herb, Lavender could be something else.

Dill could be something else, Savory.

Angelica...

Let's go for The Darling Buds Of May again.

Mariette.

Montgomery. Montgomery was the kid.

-Pop and...

-Primrose.

-Primrose.

Three strikes now. And 30 seconds.

Ironside Gort, Alexander and...Dill?

Is Lavender Hill in London?

Yes, of course it is!

Lavender Hill, Ludgate Hill and Tower Hill.

Well done. You swam around the red herrings at last.

Four points immediately. Let's look for the bonuses.

-What about the first group?

-They're all herbs.

-Herbs that you can using in cookery.

-They're all herbs.

Mariette, Primrose, Montgomery, Pop.

They're all characters in The Darling Buds Of May.

They are the Larkins, from the series of novels by H E Bates,

The Darling Buds Of May being one of them.

Lavender, Parliament, Tower, Ludgate?

-They're all hills in London.

-And the last one?

-Ironside, Dill, Gort, Alexander?

-They're all fairly famous generals.

Have another go.

-Field marshals?

-I'll take it! I can't bear to see your pain.

They're field marshals from World War II.

If you'd said soldiers I probably would have taken it. Generals?

Field marshals from World War II.

So, four points for the groups you've found,

four points for the connections, two bonus points. A total of ten.

Let's see who's in the lead.

The Numerists have 7 points,

but the Draughtsmen are ahead with 25.

On our website you'll find more connecting walls to play

and you can write your own.

But here in Cardiff it's Missing Vowel o'clock.

So, fingers on buzzers, teams. What are the hidden phrases? Good luck.

The first category are all fictional roads.

Draughtsmen.

-Diagon Alley.

-From Harry Potter, correct.

-Numerists.

-Wisteria Lane.

-From Desperate Housewives. Correct.

-Numerists.

-Rosamund Street.

-From Coronation Street, correct.

-Numerists.

-Greatest Road?

-Not it, I'm afraid.

You lose a point. Draughtsmen, do you know it?

-Any idea?

-Doesn't look like it.

Great East Road from Tolkien's Middle Earth.

Next category - types of aircraft.

Draughtsmen.

-Helicopter gunship.

-Correct.

-Numerists.

-Biplane.

-Correct.

-Numerists.

-Tiger.

-Ooh! I'm going to have to give it to you.

We were looking for autogiro.

Tiger is a brand name, but it is an aircraft. OK, you get the point.

Next clue.

-Numerists?

-Dirigible.

-Correct.

Next category - words describing European citizens.

-Numerists.

-Austrian.

-Correct.

Numerists.

-Manxwoman.

-Correct.

-Numerists.

-Monegasque.

-Correct.

Draughtsmen.

-Walloon.

-Correct.

Next category - previous teams on Only Connect.

END-OF-ROUND JINGLE

Aw.

That was the Archers Admirers there,

but we'll never know who else would have returned,

because that's the end of the quiz.

And after a very creditable but slightly unlucky night,

the Numerists have got 14 points, but the winners, with 28,

are the Draughtsmen.

Very well done. You're through to the semifinals.

Numerists, thank you very much for coming,

you've been a great team

and I'm sorry you're not through to the semis,

but you've done extremely well.

Please join me next time when I'll have more fiendish connections,

two more teams, and a ratchet to "up the tension".

Goodbye.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd