Francophiles v Celts Only Connect

Hello.

Tonight in a bizarre cross-televisual genre experiment

there's been a murder.

Which the teams have to solve while completing an aqua assault

course while simultaneously singing a song and baking a cake.

Not really. It's going to be harder than that.

This is the Only Connect Final.

I'm joined by two teams whose skills are legendary.

The battle is going to be epic

and the prize is the stuff of myth in that it doesn't exist.

Battling for it anyway, on my right, Ian Clark,

a former deputy judge who once fell down a storm drain in Thailand.

Sam Goodyear, a history graduate and Star Trek fan who was once

offered a piece of birthday cake by Pete Doherty.

And their captain, Mark Walton.

A geography graduate and cricket fan who was reprimanded

in his youth for stealing Ulrika Jonsson's chocolate biscuits.

United by a love of the French, they are the Francophiles.

Mark, you've had a clear run to the final. You haven't lost a game.

If you had to give your team-mates one piece of advice

going into this final, what would it be?

Just do what we've been doing.

It's worked so far, so fingers crossed it will continue.

Quite right.

You're going to do what you've been doing against,

on my left, Beverley Downes, a former scout leader who writes

a food blog and is the girlfriend...of David Pritchard.

A Cardiff FC supporter and a former business support manager who

is not related to Huw Pritchard, the captain.

An accomplished choral singer who enjoys gardening

and walking in the countryside with his whippet, Ted.

United by their passion for Wales, they are the Celts.

Huw, you've also come to the final undefeated.

What's been your favourite game?

It has to be the semifinal that got us here.

We know what a phenomenal challenge this quiz is

and we're hoping the good form we're in will continue this evening.

This is, of course, going to be quite a difficult match.

I hope everybody has had fish for dinner.

We'll be starting with Round One, Francophiles,

you won the toss, you have the dubious pleasure of going first.

Which hieroglyph would you like?

Horned Viper, please.

Horned Viper, the music question right at the top of the final.

What is the connection between these clues? Here's the first.

MUSIC PLAYS

Next.

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.

Next.

-What's that from?

-Snow White.

Next.

-Magnificent Seven.

-So, it's seven.

BELL

-Seven.

-Lucky number seven is

the answer. What did we hear?

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers was there second one.

Well, it was Bless Your Beautiful

Hide from Seven Brides

for Seven Brothers.

Someday My Prince Will Come from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

-And the Magnificent Seven at the end.

-Theme from the Magnificent Seven.

And the first one?

The theme from the film, Seven?

No, it was The Girl Upstairs

from The Seven Year Itch.

Yes, all from films with seven in the title.

Celts, your turn to choose

-a question.

-Two Reeds, please.

Two Reeds.

What is the connection between these clues, here's the first.

Next.

Next, please.

-World champions or something?

-I don't think so. Go for the last one.

Next, again.

Degrees of separation. Shall we try that?

Three seconds.

BELL

They form a link with other players.

-They form a link with other players. Degrees of separation.

-That's it.

They're the central figures in

collaboration networks.

So Kevin Bacon is a famous one with

degrees of separation.

With mathematics, Paul Erdos wrote

papers with other people who

wrote with other people,

who wrote with other people.

With chess and Go you can judge how

far you are from a player by who

you've played that they've played

that they've played and so on.

Central figures in collaboration networks.

So you get a point, as well.

Back to you Francophiles to pick a

-question.

-Twisted Flax.

Twisted Flax, what's the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

Tin Cup, that's a film with Kevin Costner.

Next.

Next.

About the Jamaican bobsleigh team.

Next.

Is there a real boxer in Rocky? People featuring real...

Three seconds.

BELL

Sports films featuring real sports people.

-In cameos.

-Not the answer, I'm afraid.

So, Celts, you have the chance of a bonus.

Are they sports films where the lead character loses in the end?

That's what it is.

the Charlie Brown one is a cartoon, of course,

so there's no cameo there.

The heroes lose the main

competition.

What are the competitions?

Tin Cup is golf. Charlie Brown, is that American Football, maybe?

No, you see. So much better than

American football, a spelling bee.

Here at Only Connect

-we count that as a sport.

-Of course.

And Cool Runnings is the Jamaican bobsled

team at the 1988 Winter Olympics.

Rocky, of course,

lost the boxing match.

So films in which the character lost the match.

You get a bonus point

and it's your choice.

Lion, please. What's the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

Next.

Next.

I don't know anything about that.

Next.

-To an empty chair.

-Oh, right. OK. Yeah.

BELL

We think the answer is an empty chair.

Talking to somebody who isn't there.

Empty chairs is the answer.

Liu Xiaobo won the 2010

Nobel Peace Prize but wasn't able to

go to the ceremony. He was locked

up so they had the empty chair.

Marius's solo in Les Miserables, you

-don't know that?

-To an empty chair.

Empty Chairs At Empty Tables.

Clint Eastwood did a speech to

Obama in an empty chair.

And Samantha the scorer from

I'm Sorry, I Haven't A Clue is...

Let's just say she can't always make

it to the recordings.

I don't know why. I know she does a

lot of charity work.

I assume she's just off somewhere

giving relief.

So empty chairs is the link.

Well done, Celts.

Francophiles, your turn to choose.

-Eye of

-Horus. Eye of Horus. What is the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

Next.

Bigger than a moon.

Next.

Have to go next, aren't we? Next.

Three seconds.

BELL

The spelling has changed to an American version?

That's not it, I'm afraid.

So there's another bonus

chance for the Celts.

There's evidently some controversy...

There's two answers that are accepted that have been given.

I think given that this is the final

and this is a bonus

I can't take that cos it's a lot

more specific than that.

These have all been the subject

of editing wars on Wikipedia.

There is dispute but one side

goes in and puts one thing,

one side puts another

and someone puts another thing.

The spelling of sulfur

and sulphur - apparently,

according to my screen - in GCSE,

sulfur is now accepted as correct.

What an abomination.

The size of the Death Star, big

enough to be mistaken for a moon,

not a satisfactory description

so that gets changed.

Things that are regularly changed and changed back on Wikipedia.

-Celts, your turn to choose.

-Water.

I think that's a very good choice under the circumstances.

These will be picture clues. What connects them? Here's the first.

Next.

Is there something missing on each one? Next.

-That's the flag of Nigeria, not Niger.

-OK.

That must be the flag of the Dominican Republic. That must be...

I think we go for it.

Three seconds.

BELL

It's to do with the flag and the wording on the flag.

The flag represents a country that

is created by adding something to the

name of the country that's shown.

That is it.

The name of the country shown is contained within

the name of the country's

flag we're seeing.

It's...

Romania would have been the last one.

With Oman hidden in it. Well done.

You add letters to get the name of the country whose flag were seeing.

So, at the end of Round One...

Wales and France will continue to do battle through Round Two.

The sequences round.

This time they may only see three clues at the most

before telling me what comes fourth.

Francophiles, you'll be going first again.

-Which question would you like?

-Twisted Flax.

What would be fourth in this picture sequence?

What would you expect to see there. Here's the first.

Cheese.

Next.

Going to go next.

-Edd the Duck is with two D's.

-No.

-Is it Nelson Eddie?

Three seconds.

BELL

-E.

-That's not it, I'm afraid. Celts, do you want to go for a bonus?

Didn't think we'd be asked.

No, you don't have anything.

I can't give you that long.

You are so in the right area.

We're looking at cheddar.

Hedda Garbler.

Edd the Duck. We're taking a letter

off each end and we want D.

Because C and R come off cheddar to

make Hedda.

H and A come off to make Edd the Duck.

D, we had a snooker D, but any

kind of D would have been the

answer. Unlucky.

All right, Celts, what would

-you like this time?

-Oh, crumbs.

-Lion, please.

-Lion, OK. Right, what is the fourth in this sequence?

Here is the first.

There was a campaign started in 1915.

-And it's in Turkey, isn't it?

-Yeah.

Next.

Hang on. Is the Sea of Marmara...

A chain of lakes or... Next.

I think you're then going into the Black Sea.

Might be going the other way?

Black Sea.

-Black Sea.

-Is the correct answer. Do you know why?

They're areas of water in sequence

going, probably, from the Mediterranean to the Black Sea.

From the Aegean.

We're going west to east from the

Aegean, stretches of water.

And after the Bosphorus, the Black Sea, very well done.

Francophiles, your turn to choose.

Horned Viper.

OK, what is the fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

It's the declensions.

Is it the plural?

Manus. Is it puella or puellam?

-Puellae.

-Is it plural?

First, puella, puellea.

BELL

First, puella, puellae.

That is correct.

And what's the reason?

The declensions of Latin nouns,

the singular and the plural.

The first declension is puella.

The plural is puellae with an e on the end.

Exactly right.

We'd have gone through the groups,

uxor, uxores, amicus, amici, and

we had the example aqua, aquae, but

a first declension noun in Latin.

Coming in after one clue you

get five points.

Pretty amazing in the final.

Very well done.

That makes it a bit closer.

What would you like now, Celts?

-Two Reeds, please.

-Two Reeds.

What is the fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

Next.

65.

-Any ideas?

-Pardon?

Next.

3 x 3 = 15.

Three seconds.

BELL

-3 x 3 = 15.

-That is the answer.

-Well done.

-And why, David. I think

that was one of yours.

What's the reason?

It's very complicated mathematically and I could go into it

-but I don't think we've got time.

-Curses.

I asked you for exactly the same reason.

A simpler way to explain it is it's

the constant sum of a Magic Square.

So, a square where all the numbers

are arranged so each row and column

adds up to the same thing.

If it's 6x6 you would have the numbers 1-36.

Add them all up and you get 111.

5x5 is 25 numbers. 16 numbers.

and if you had nine numbers for 3x3 they would all add up to 15.

-Very well done.

-Thank you.

-You were

going to say that, weren't you?

In so many words, yes.

Francophiles, back to you to make

a choice. Eye of Horus.

Eye of Horus. What is the fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

Could be South-East, South South-East, South by South-East.

Next.

That's that out the window.

Next, please.

Three seconds.

BELL

-Queen.

-Not the answer, I'm afraid.

-There's a bonus answer for the Celts.

-QR.

-That's not it either.

It is about abbreviations Southeast

abbreviated to SE.

Question to QU.

Enrolled Nurse in many countries,

previously here, EN.

SE-QU-EN, it's the word sequence.

CE is what we needed at the end.

Common Era, Common entrance,

Church of England.

We're literally spelling the word

"sequence" in abbreviations.

Horrible, isn't it?

OK, Celts, there is one remaining question.

Water is left till last, again.

What is the fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

Diptera... It's a type of animal. Animal?

Next.

-These are insects.

-Yes, they are.

I think it's going to be a number of legs.

I reckon it's going to be arachnid.

Next, again.

It's got four legs, yes?

-It's number of legs.

-Try quadruped.

Three seconds.

BELL

-Quadruped.

-Not the answer, I'm afraid.

There's a bonus chance for you,

Francophiles.

-Epidoptera.

-Not it. It's not about

legs. Most have two, they're flies.

We're looking at words for true

flies, ants, bees and wasps.

Lepidoptera, butterflies and moths.

They're just types of insect

genus according to the number of

species and the

largest would be coleoptera, beetle.

At the end of Round Two, then the Francophiles have got...

Time for the final gruesome Connecting Walls of the series.

Celts, you'll be going first this time. Would you like Lion or Water?

We'll take Lion, please.

OK, you've got two and a half minutes to solve it.

Starting now.

Exams, The Knowledge, Viva.

Tripos. Is there another one that's an exam?

SAT is something.

BUZZ

Higher is, so let's take SAT out.

BUZZ

Let's take Tripos out.

Let's take Viva out.

BUZZ

-Well done.

-OK.

Henry Kissinger.

He won the Nobel Prize. He's Jewish.

Elizabeth II.

The Knowledge is a quiz show.

It's a play by Jack Rosenthal

about taxi drivers.

Is the Knowledge...

I'm struggling a bit here.

BUZZ

Henry Kissinger, he was interviewed by David Frost.

The Protester.

BUZZ

I'm just going to press on. You carry on.

I don't know Decomposing Composers. Elizabeth II.

BUZZ

BUZZ

BUZZ

BUZZ

BUZZ

BUZZ

What is Luxx?

BUZZ

BUZZ

You've got 30 seconds.

BUZZ

Finland, its flag is blue and white.

BUZZ

Henry Kissinger.

BUZZ

-Ten seconds now.

-Struggling.

BUZZ

BUZZ

That's it. The time is up and the wall is frozen.

But you found a group, well done. That's a point.

-What connects Higher, SAT, Tripos and Viva.

-Sorts of examinations.

That's it. Tests of mental ability, exams. Quite right.

You can also get connections for the groups you didn't find. So...

-You're looking forward to this, aren't you?

-Yes.

Let's resolve the wall.

-Are they all in a Cole Porter song?

-No, they're Monty Python songs.

I think it's one of those ones you know it or you don't.

They are the titles of Monty Python songs.

Next one.

Are they all mentioned in Spike Milligan books?

No, they're not.

These are all people who have won Time Magazine Person of the Year.

Last group.

I thought that they were all beauty brands or something.

No, I'm afraid not.

What they are is past and present magazine supplements,

newspaper magazine supplements.

That's what they are. They come with newspapers.

Nevertheless, not easy in the final.

You did find a group and the connection so you get two points.

Time to bring in the Francophiles and give them

a horrible final Connecting Wall with 16 horrible new clues on it.

OK, Francophiles. You're going to get the Water Wall.

You've got two and a half minutes to solve it. Starting now.

-Suzuki.

-Types of tyres, Bridgestone Tyres, maybe?

Japanese companies.

-Socratic.

-What's Pimsleur?

Montessori Method, Suzuki Method of teaching.

-Socratic Method.

-And the Pimsleur.

-Very good.

-Cannon... Bridgestone make tyres.

-Needles.

-Bodkin.

-Darning.

-Tapestry needle.

-Oh!

Three strikes and you're out now.

They are Japanese companies.

Canon, Nomura, Nintendo...

Before you press, what will these be, then?

Are they anagrams?

Can you change letters or...

-Wellbeloved.

-What's Wellbeloved again?

Can you change any letters in them?

Wasn't Wellbeloved...

If you change the letters.

Where's only W.

Low, Love.

Nicknames for things?

We better move in case we get it wrong.

I don't know what those are, though.

Shall we press it and have another think?

-OK, you solved the Wall.

-That is four points for the group.

Let's look for the connections.

-They're teaching methods.

-Pedagogical methods. Quite right.

-Types of needle.

-Types of needle and you found them in the haystack.

Well done.

The next group...

-Japanese companies.

-That's right. They're major Japanese companies.

And the last one.

-I don't think we know.

-I don't think you do.

They are people on the domestic staff at Blandings Castle.

PG Wodehouse characters, that's who they are.

But four points for the groups that you found

and three points for the connections.

That is an impressive seven.

Let's see how that affects the scores going into the final round.

And if you want to play a Connecting Wall you can find them on our

website where you can also write you own,

although for heaven's sake make them easier than the ones we just saw.

Missing Vowels time, teams.

This will decide the champions of Only Connect.

Fingers on buzzers, teams.

The first group are all...

BELL

Correct.

BELL

Correct.

Don't know this one. Recommended

by Pliny the Elder. Raw owl's eggs.

Next clue.

BELL

Bacon Sandwich.

Correct. Next category. Two things make another thing.

BELL

Correct.

BELL

Correct.

This one is...

Next clue.

BELL

Correct. Next category...

BELL

Correct.

BELL

Correct.

This one is The Redbreast.

Next clue.

BELL

Correct. Next category...

BELL

Correct.

BELL

Correct.

BELL

MUSIC PLAYS

Well, I think

you were going to say...

Which is the answer.

But the bell has rung.

It means the end of the quiz.

And after a brilliant and previously undefeated series,

the Celts finish with 14 points.

But with 22 the winner of tonight's game

and of this series of Only Connect, it's the Francophiles.

Very well done, that team. Very well quizzed. Thank you for playing.

Thank you for coming, as well. Brilliant stuff from all of you.

And thank you for watching. Join me next week for...

Well, not for Only Connect. The series is finished. It's over.

You'll just have to come round. I'll text you the address. Goodbye.

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