Cartophiles v Celts Only Connect


Cartophiles v Celts

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LineFromTo

Hello and welcome to Only Connect,

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the quiz that's unafraid to mix high culture and low culture, the classic and the new.

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To us, the Elgin Marbles have always been "totes amazeballs".

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Joining me tonight, on my right,

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Colin Kidd, an accountant and Watford FC supporter,

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who once won second prize in a Belfast Bonnie Baby competition,

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Mark Cooper, a civil servant who enjoys playing board games and taking long train journeys,

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and their captain, Josh Mandel,

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a fraud investigator and Oxford English graduate learning to play the accordion.

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United by a passion for maps, they are the Cartophiles.

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So, Josh, well done on finding the studio. How has your team been preparing for Only Connect?

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-We've memorised every fact in existence.

-Excellent.

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-How long did that take?

-A couple of weeks.

-Delighted to hear it.

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You will be facing Beverley Downes, a keen chef and food blogger with a passion for musical theatre,

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David Pritchard, a civil servant who enjoys bird-watching and collecting fossils,

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and their captain, Huw Pritchard, a former librarian

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who enjoys hillwalking in North Wales with his whippet Ted.

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Graduates of the University of Wales who live and work in Wales, they are the Celts.

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CONVERSATION IN WELSH

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Well, that's easy for you to say(!)

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We've changed the format slightly.

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Now the teams don't have to win outright to go through.

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They can lose and still go through to a different sort of heat which they have to win or they go home,

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but if they win, they could go home later, and when you've understood that, write in and explain it to me!

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Round One remains much the same. I want to know the connection between four apparently random clues.

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Celts, you won the toss.

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Please choose an Egyptian hieroglyph.

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-OK, we'll have the Two Reeds, please.

-The Two Reeds.

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You're going to be seeing picture clues.

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What is the connection between them? Time starts now.

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WHISPERING

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Next.

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-It's a fort, is it? It's a fort?

-India.

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-It's India.

-Yeah.

-Next.

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All Reds. They're all Reds.

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We think that they're all Red.

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Coming in after three clues, you get two points.

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Red is the connection. There's the fourth clue.

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-What are you looking at?

-I think the second one is The Red Fort in India.

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-That's right, in Delhi.

-I imagine the third one is a Red Mill?

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Moulin Rouge, the "Red Windmill".

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The first one, I don't know. It's not Red Square?

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The last one's Red Square. We don't know the first one.

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The last one is Red Square. That first one is the Alhambra,

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which means "the red one" in Arabic, the Alhambra in Granada in Spain.

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But well done for two points.

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Over to you, Cartophiles, to choose a hieroglyph.

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We'll have the Twisted Flax, please.

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What is the connection between these clues? Here's the first.

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-Mariah Carey...

-Plus 11.

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She had a hit with that song 11 years after the other guy.

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OK, next, please.

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Princess Anne, plus five...

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Princess Anne...

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She was in the Olympics. Mariah Carey wasn't in the Olympics.

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-We need another.

-Next.

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It's age gaps. She's married to Aaron Johnson.

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-Ten seconds.

-Older or younger?

-He's younger than her.

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RINGS BELL

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It's the age gaps between these ladies and their spouses.

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That is exactly what it is. The last one was Joan Collins,

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32 years older than her husband.

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When I met my husband, he was younger than me, but I take five years off every birthday.

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By our tenth anniversary, it'll be obscene on paper!

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Very well done. Two points to you.

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-Back to the Celts to choose a glyph.

-Lion, please.

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Lion... Ah, the music question. Always nice to hear that.

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Shout "next" when you want to hear the next clue. Here's the first.

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# Ours a love I held tightly

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# Feeling the rapture... #

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Next, please.

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# Got to keep on dancing, keep on dancing... #

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Boogie Nights.

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They're all films. They're all names of films.

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BELL

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They're all films.

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-Have another go.

-The title of the song is the title of a film.

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They are songs that share their titles with film titles.

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Very well done. Three points. What did you hear?

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We heard Blue Velvet by Bobby Vinton, a film by David Lynch.

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We heard Boogie Nights by Heatwave, a film by Paul Thomas Anderson.

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Fantastic. We would have heard The Crying Game and Pretty Woman,

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but you didn't need to. Excellent stuff.

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-Cartophiles, your turn.

-Water, please.

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Water. Let's see your clues, starting now.

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-Does that ring any bells?

-That's part of a song.

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-Do you know what song?

-No.

-Next.

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Rephrasing of something else...

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Next.

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Oh, yes, it's...

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That Mrs Doubt... Mrs, um...

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Ten seconds.

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-The Sheridan play. Mrs...

-Malaprop.

-Mrs Malaprop.

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Go on, Colin.

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-They're malapropisms.

-They are malapropisms,

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as spoken by Mrs Malaprop in Sheridan's The Rivals.

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-You wanted to say Mrs Doubtfire.

-I nearly did.

-I recognise that.

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"Quiz brain freeze," we call it. Doubtfire, Doubtfire.

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Mrs Malaprop, who famously misquoted things to hilarious effect.

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Do you know what these quotes should be, what she's trying to say?

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The last one should be an alligator.

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"An alligator on the banks of the Nile."

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-"The pinnacle of politeness."

-"He is the very pinnacle of politeness."

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-"Solve my mystery?"

-Resolve. "He will resolve my mystery."

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The first one, I heard you say, "Is it a song?"

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It sounds like it's going to be "Modern Major-General".

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There's something very Gilbert and Sullivan about it.

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It should be, "His phraseology is so grammatical."

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-Well done. Nice, high-scoring round. Back to you, Celts, for the last choice of the round.

-Horned Viper.

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The Horned Viper. What is the connection? Here is the first clue.

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Oh, it's Sid Meier games.

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-Pardon?

-Sid Meier games.

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-Do you want to get the next?

-Next, please.

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No, it can't...

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-Civilization.

-What's Civilization V?

-Is it a game?

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-It's a game.

-What did you say?

-A Sid Meier game.

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-I don't understand. What are you saying?

-It's a computer game.

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Next.

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-Does that make sense?

-No.

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-Ten seconds.

-Next.

-Next.

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Oh, they're hexagonal.

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They are... Yeah, I see.

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-Hexagonal.

-They are hexagonal structures.

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-What can you tell me about that first clue?

-Beverley knows it.

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It's a game, a Sid Meier computer game?

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That's it, a computer simulation game.

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Blockbusters, though, a moment of tribute to that great quiz.

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We revere our forefathers at Only Connect.

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Blockbusters with the brilliant Bob Holness used a hexagonal board.

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Hexagons was the link. Well done.

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The last clue, the Eye of Horus, is going to be for you, Cartophiles.

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Your first clue is coming up now.

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-Puyi...

-He was the last Emperor.

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He was the last Emperor of China.

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Next.

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-The last Kaiser?

-Yeah.

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-Shall I go for it?

-Yeah.

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They're all last emperors or last monarchs.

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Brilliant, coming in after two clues, you get three points.

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Last emperors. Last emperors of where?

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Puyi was the last Emperor of China.

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Wilhelm II was the last Emperor of Germany.

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Haile Selassie, Abyssinia, Ethiopia.

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And George VI was the last Emperor of India.

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A perfect answer, a stylish ending to a great round for both of you.

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At the end of Round One then:

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Round Two is the sequences round. This time, teams, you still need to work out the connection,

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but I want to know what is fourth in the sequence.

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Celts, you pick a question first.

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-Eye of Horus, please.

-The Eye of Horus.

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You may see up to three clues before giving me the answer.

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What's fourth? Here's the first.

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WHISPERING

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It's obviously some sort of human rights... Next.

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Next.

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-Geneva Conventions.

-Do you think?

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-Yeah.

-Do you want the next or...? I don't know.

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Yeah, take the next. Take the next.

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Next again, please.

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Oh, it's the American...

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-Freedom of speech?

-Amendments.

-OK, yes, I think...

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RINGS BELL

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-Are they amendments...?

-What is fourth in the sequence?

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-Freedom...

-1.

-Freedom of speech.

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Freedom of speech.

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A beautifully given answer. You fumbled your way there.

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I will accept it. "1: Freedom of speech."

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Or freedom of the press or religion or assembly. What is the connection?

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Are they amendments to the American Constitution?

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That's right, going down to "1".

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You were thinking Geneva Convention, then you saw number 2.

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"The right to bear arms." Americans like that. How could it go wrong?

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How could it go wrong when everyone has a gun?

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I see no downside(!) I've got one.

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I haven't got one. Cartophiles, over to you to pick a hieroglyph.

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We'll have Two Reeds, please.

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What is the fourth in this sequence? You'll be seeing pictures.

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What would you see in the fourth picture? Here's the first.

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The National Gallery.

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-Yeah.

-So it's the four sides of Trafalgar Square.

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-We don't know which way round they're going.

-Next.

-Next.

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-It's the British Museum.

-Is it?

-Is that on Trafalgar Square?

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-I'm not sure.

-Go "next".

-Next.

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No, forget that.

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Is that Grand Central Station?

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-It's a sequence...

-Ten seconds.

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Shall we guess something?

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I'm looking forward to this answer.

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-Buckingham Palace.

-Why would it be Buckingham Palace?

-We have no idea.

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I'm afraid that's not the answer, so a bonus opportunity for you Celts.

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-We think it might be the Louvre.

-I need to go to the Louvre!

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That's exactly what it is. Why would it be the Louvre?

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Dave thinks the most visited museums maybe in the world?

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That's exactly what they are and the Louvre is the most popular.

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-What are the others?

-The National Gallery, I think, is number one.

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-It is.

-Number two, British Museum?

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-Yeah.

-Mm-hm.

-What's the third? I don't know.

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The Metropolitan Museum of Art. The world's most visited art museums,

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-the most popular, the Louvre.

-OK, well done.

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-Well done for the bonus and you choose your own question.

-Water.

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What is the fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

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He's a cyclist.

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-He won the Tour de France.

-Recently?

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Well... Go for the next one.

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Next, please.

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Is it likely to be Lance Armstrong?

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No, it'll be Bradley Wiggins. Go for Bradley Wiggins.

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BELL

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-Bradley Wiggins.

-In the quizzing world,

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Bradley Wiggins is the new Red Rum. When in doubt, say his name.

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You get three points. The answer is Bradley Wiggins. Why?

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-Dave knows.

-Consecutive winners of the Tour de France.

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That's right. Alberto Contador won it twice, but he won in 2009

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and that's the sequence because Bradley Wiggins won it in 2012.

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-OK, Cartophiles, back to you.

-Lion, please.

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Lion. What is the fourth in this sequence? Here is the first.

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-I definitely don't know what that is.

-No.

-Next.

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Um...

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-Any ideas?

-It looks a bit like The Gherkin, doesn't it?

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Next.

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That could be representing The Gherkin. What on earth is...?

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-Do we need one more?

-You can't get one more. It's sequences.

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-You do need one more, but... Ten seconds.

-Any idea?

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-Shall I guess?

-WHISPERING

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Three seconds.

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An image of something with a spiky top like The Shard.

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I'm afraid it is not an image

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of something with a spiky top like The Shard.

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-Another bonus chance for the Celts.

-Say a shape.

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-A shape.

-A square.

-Yes, obviously, it's a shape.

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-I need you to be more specific.

-A square.

-It is not a square.

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It would be a red circle. Let's have a look at it.

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Anyone?

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Oh, is it...? Blimey, it's Teletubbies!

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People at home will be shouting at the screen.

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It's the Teletubbies - Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa and Po.

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It's the aerials of the Teletubbies.

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We mix high and low culture, the classic and the new.

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That was one of the new ones. No points there, but, Celts, you may choose a question.

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-Twisted Flax, please.

-OK.

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What is the fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

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It's got to be a word.

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Next.

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Receptacle...

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Next.

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-Any idea?

-Something about the words?

-It is something about the words.

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-Ten seconds.

-No.

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I don't know. Any ideas?

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Three seconds now.

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-Vogue.

-Sorry?

-Vogue.

-Why would it be Vogue?

-No idea.

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I'm afraid it's not Vogue.

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Cartophiles, do you want to have a go for a bonus?

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We're going to have a guess at Stamen.

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I'm afraid Stamen is not the answer,

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but you were absolutely in the right area.

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They are the central parts of a flower going upwards,

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but it would be Stigma, which is the part that receives the pollen.

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There's one question remaining which is for you, the Horned Viper.

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What is the fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

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Zero equals green...

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Next.

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WHISPERING

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Green, red...

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What could it be? I have no idea.

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Shall we go "next"? Yeah? Next.

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Is it a roulette wheel?

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-0 is green, 1's red, 2's black, so 3 is red.

-3 is red?

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Red again, yes. OK.

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BELL

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3 equals red.

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That is the answer. Why is it the answer?

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It's a roulette wheel.

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Yes, as I know literally to my cost,

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they are the colours of numbers on a roulette wheel.

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0 is green, or 00 if you're foolish enough to play on an American wheel,

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1 is red, 2 is black, 3 is red.

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At the end of Round Two then:

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Time for the Wall Game, a little reference for Old Etonians there.

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They get so little after all.

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Cartophiles, the Wall, of course, 16 clues all jumbled up need sorting into four connected groups of four.

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It's your turn to go first now, so you have the choice - Lion or Water?

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We'll go Lion, please.

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Lion. OK, there is only one perfect solution to this Wall. I hope you find it.

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You've got two and a half minutes to do that, starting...now.

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OK, there's musical things - cadenza, coda, sting.

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-Bridges.

-Bridge and cadenza. I'll try that.

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-No. What else is musical?

-It's got to be music.

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No, no, no.

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You've got bits of a boat as well, haven't you? Bilge, hold, galley.

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-Let's take the music ones off.

-Wardroom, passage.

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Bilge, galley, wardroom, bridge.

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-You've got "hold" as well.

-OK.

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-There you go.

-That's a weapon.

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-Excalibur's a weapon.

-That's a weapon.

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OK. Sting is in Lord Of The Rings.

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Is Hrunting a weapon?

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It's three strikes and you're out now with the two groups. You've got plenty of time.

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A movement is musical, cadenza...

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-Coda.

-And bridge.

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That leaves passage, half-pass, piaffe and flying change which are all ballet things.

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That's way out of my comfort zone.

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We've got parts of a ship, swords...

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Parts of music and ballet. Shall we try that?

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Yeah, let's go in case it's not right.

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-Movement, coda...

-Bridge.

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You've solved the Wall. Fantastic.

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That's an immediate four points for solving it. There are bonus points for telling me the connections.

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Let's start at the top - bilge, hold, galley, wardroom.

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-Those are all parts of a ship.

-They're compartments on a ship.

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Next one - Mjollnir, Sting, Hrunting, Excalibur.

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Those are all the names of swords, weapons.

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Any more about those weapons?

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Sting is Bilbo's sword or possibly Frodo's in Lord Of The Rings.

0:19:270:19:31

-Apparently, it's used by both of them.

-Excalibur, we all know.

0:19:310:19:36

-King Arthur.

-King Arthur's sword, but not the Sword in the Stone.

0:19:360:19:40

He pulls one sword out of the stone, but that gets broken in battle.

0:19:400:19:44

This one is given to him by the Lady of the Lake, Excalibur.

0:19:440:19:48

-Mjollnir sounds...Norse mythology of some type.

-They're both...

0:19:480:19:52

-I'm guessing one of them is Beowulf's.

-Is it Thor's?

-Thor's hammer is Mjollnir.

0:19:520:19:58

And Beowulf's sword is Hrunting.

0:19:580:20:00

They're magical weapons or weapons in fables.

0:20:000:20:03

Very good. What about that next one? Cadenza, coda, bridge, movement.

0:20:030:20:08

Those are all parts of a piece of music.

0:20:080:20:11

Sections in music, absolutely right.

0:20:110:20:14

And the last one - half-pass, flying change, passage, piaffe.

0:20:140:20:17

-Those are all ballet...

-Manoeuvres?

0:20:170:20:21

-..movements.

-I love the way you're miming ballet movements!

0:20:210:20:24

I can't give you that one. You're very close, but it's not ballet.

0:20:240:20:28

It is dressage.

0:20:280:20:31

The horse thing. It's like ballet on horseback.

0:20:310:20:33

I can tell you about some of them.

0:20:330:20:36

A half-pass - "the horse bends slightly around the rider's inside leg

0:20:360:20:41

"with the forehand moving in advance of the hind quarters as the horse travels across the diagonal."

0:20:410:20:47

-Right.

-Not dressage people?

-No, not at all.

0:20:470:20:50

Not ballet people either!

0:20:500:20:53

I sat on a horse once. It was like trying to give a cat a bath!

0:20:530:20:57

-Sitting on a horse? That's not right.

-I'm terrified.

0:20:570:21:00

You solved the Wall, so four points, and three more bonus points for the connections. It's a total of seven.

0:21:000:21:07

Time to bring back the Celts and give them a Connecting Wall,

0:21:070:21:10

16 new clues still jumbled up, still looking for that perfect solution, four by four.

0:21:100:21:16

Celts, the Lion Wall has been chosen, so you've got Water.

0:21:160:21:21

Two and a half minutes to solve it, starting now.

0:21:210:21:24

-OK, so we've got mushrooms.

-Yes, I was thinking mushrooms.

0:21:260:21:29

-Oyster mushroom, portobello mushroom.

-Beefsteak.

0:21:290:21:33

-Is there a beefsteak mushroom?

-Yeah. Black trumpet.

-Shall we try that one?

0:21:330:21:37

-Portobello, black trumpet...

-Oyster.

0:21:370:21:39

-No.

-No, OK.

0:21:400:21:42

What else is there?

0:21:420:21:45

-Burton-Race is a cookery judge or something.

-Leith is cookery.

0:21:460:21:50

-Yeah.

-Sorry... Go on.

0:21:500:21:52

I know that there's places in... There's places in Edinburgh...

0:21:520:21:57

So they're either...

0:21:570:21:59

Portobello.

0:21:590:22:01

Is it Hollywood? It's not Hollywood, is it?

0:22:030:22:06

Joppa, Morningside, Hollywood, Portobello.

0:22:060:22:09

-No.

-OK.

0:22:090:22:11

The cooking ones, there's Leith, Burton-Race...

0:22:110:22:14

Gregg Wallace, Blewit...

0:22:170:22:19

-Hollywood is the chef.

-Paul Hollywood.

-Well done.

0:22:190:22:23

What have we got now? Do you think Joppa is in Edinburgh?

0:22:230:22:26

Joppa's definitely in Edinburgh, so is Morningside.

0:22:260:22:29

-Isn't Portobello?

-Yeah, those three and maybe Davidson's...

0:22:290:22:33

-Yeah, try it.

-Well done. Are they stations in Edinburgh?

-Maybe.

0:22:330:22:37

It's three strikes and you're out now.

0:22:370:22:40

We've got the mushrooms - oyster, beefsteak, black trumpet...

0:22:400:22:43

Blewit? Then you've got Home, Everything, Lost...

0:22:430:22:47

-That's a song by Michael Buble.

-Haven't Met You Yet, yeah.

0:22:470:22:50

-Are these all songs by Michael Buble?

-I don't know him at all.

0:22:500:22:55

-They're not likely to be common between mushrooms and Michael Buble.

-You've got a minute left.

0:22:550:23:00

-The mushrooms would be oyster, beefsteak...

-Go on, try it.

0:23:000:23:04

-Blewit?

-Yeah.

-And black trumpet?

-Yeah.

-Try it.

0:23:040:23:07

That's it, you've solved the Wall.

0:23:070:23:10

That's four points. You want bonus points now for the connections.

0:23:100:23:14

What about the first one? Wallace, Burton-Race, Hollywood, Leith.

0:23:140:23:18

-You seemed to know that.

-Yeah, judges on cookery competitions.

0:23:180:23:22

TV cookery judges. Can you tell me their first names?

0:23:220:23:25

-Gregg Wallace. Is it John Burton-Race?

-Yeah.

0:23:250:23:28

-He's got a Michelin star. Paul Hollywood.

-Prue Leith?

0:23:280:23:31

Prue Leith, yeah. Are you fans of those shows?

0:23:310:23:35

-No, but my wife's a massive fan. And Bev is.

-Yes.

0:23:350:23:38

I was thinking of bringing in a round where we tell the teams

0:23:380:23:41

there's a cookery round, they have to bring cakes.

0:23:410:23:44

We wouldn't broadcast it, but the teams wouldn't know that

0:23:440:23:48

and I'd get a lot of snacks.

0:23:480:23:50

-And we could curry favour.

-Yeah.

0:23:500:23:52

-Sounds like a winner.

-And the second group?

0:23:520:23:55

Portobello, Morningside, Joppa, Davidson's Mains.

0:23:550:23:59

Well, they're all in Edinburgh.

0:23:590:24:02

Are they Edinburgh stations?

0:24:020:24:05

-Scottish stations?

-I can take "places in Edinburgh".

0:24:050:24:08

Davidson's Mains was a village.

0:24:080:24:11

It's now a district in the north-west of Edinburgh.

0:24:110:24:16

What about this - oyster, black trumpet, beefsteak, blewit?

0:24:160:24:19

We believe that they're types of mushroom.

0:24:190:24:22

They are. I'll accept that.

0:24:220:24:24

Can you tell me something else they have in common?

0:24:240:24:28

They're edible.

0:24:290:24:31

They are edible fungi, although the blewit has to be cooked.

0:24:310:24:35

In its raw state, it is like me, mildly toxic.

0:24:350:24:39

All edible mushrooms. And what about the last group?

0:24:390:24:42

Home, Lost, Everything, Haven't Met You Yet.

0:24:420:24:46

We think that Haven't Met You Yet was the key that opened this one.

0:24:460:24:51

Michael Buble? We think they're songs by Michael Buble.

0:24:510:24:55

They are singles recorded by Michael Buble.

0:24:550:24:59

Not a fan?

0:24:590:25:01

I'm not, but it's Huw's type of music, so maybe he...

0:25:010:25:06

-Not a fan.

-I quite like Michael Buble. I've never been cool.

0:25:060:25:09

Anyway, pretty cool result for you because you solved the Wall.

0:25:090:25:14

You got all four connections, you get a bonus two points for that, so that is a maximum of ten points.

0:25:140:25:19

Let's see what the scores look like going into the final round.

0:25:190:25:23

If your fingers are itching for more Wall activity, go to our website

0:25:300:25:34

where you can play a selection of Walls. You can even make your own.

0:25:340:25:38

But what we'll be doing is playing the Missing Vowels Round

0:25:380:25:42

where we've taken well-known names, phrases or sayings, removed the vowels and re-spaced the consonants.

0:25:420:25:48

I'll be muttering those words on my death bed. I assume you know the rules.

0:25:480:25:53

Fingers on buzzers. They will come in connected groups of four and the first group are all...

0:25:530:25:59

-Celts?

-Macadamia.

-Correct.

0:26:030:26:06

-Cartophiles?

-Filbert.

-Correct.

0:26:080:26:11

-Cartophiles?

-Coco de Mer.

-Correct.

0:26:130:26:15

-Cartophiles?

-Pumpernickel.

-That's not right. You lose a point.

0:26:180:26:23

Possible bonus, Celts...? No. It's pine kernel.

0:26:230:26:26

Next category:

0:26:260:26:28

-Cartophiles?

-My Fair Lady.

-Correct.

0:26:320:26:35

-Cartophiles?

-Funny Face.

-Correct.

0:26:360:26:39

-Celts?

-Sabrina.

-Correct.

0:26:410:26:43

-Celts?

-Breakfast At Tiffany's.

-Yes.

0:26:460:26:48

Next category:

0:26:480:26:50

-Celts?

-Gamekeeper.

-Correct.

0:26:540:26:57

Don't know this one? It's negotiator. Next clue...

0:27:000:27:04

-Cartophiles?

-Auctioneer.

-Correct.

0:27:080:27:11

-Cartophiles?

-Manicurist.

-Yes, it is.

0:27:180:27:21

Next category:

0:27:210:27:23

-Cartophiles?

-Hemlock.

-My favourite, correct.

0:27:250:27:29

Don't know this? It's mustard gas. Next clue...

0:27:320:27:36

-Celts?

-Agent Orange.

-Yes, it is.

0:27:400:27:42

-Celts?

-Carbon monoxide.

-Correct.

0:27:450:27:48

Next category:

0:27:480:27:50

-Cartophiles?

-Huguenots.

-Correct.

0:27:520:27:55

-Cartophiles?

-Latter-Day Saints.

-Correct.

0:27:560:27:59

END-OF-ROUND JINGLE

0:27:590:28:01

It's the end of the quiz and what a phenomenal round! A great one for you, Josh, particularly.

0:28:030:28:08

You're a real missing vowels guy.

0:28:080:28:11

It has brought your score, Cartophiles, to an impressive 24,

0:28:110:28:15

but the winners with 28 points,

0:28:150:28:18

it's the Celts.

0:28:180:28:20

We will be seeing you again, Celts,

0:28:200:28:22

and by our inexplicable new rules, we'll see you again too.

0:28:220:28:25

Join us next week for two more teams who'll be taking no prisoners

0:28:250:28:29

and me who'll be giving no prizes. Goodbye.

0:28:290:28:32

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0:28:540:28:57

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