Relatives v Exhibitionists Only Connect

Hello and welcome to Challenge TV.

It's 2064 and we've finally run out of episodes of Takeshi's Castle.

So, we're going to screen a repeat of Only Connect,

a quiz that used to be on BBC Four. But this IS Only Connect.

It's already started.

How can references to its being repeated in the future

be contained within the programme itself?

Well, it was quite an odd show and, being made in Cardiff,

wasn't subject to the same scrutiny as some of the BBC's more mainstream output.

Anyway, let's meet the teams that were on that old show 50 years ago.

On my right, Hamish Galloway,

an actuary from Aberdeen who once played tennis with Angela Rippon.

Nick Latham, a lighting director

who used to work in a betting shop

and travels the world supporting the Welsh football team.

And their captain, Davina Galloway,

a Scrabble fan who works

as a civil servant and advises on the policy of speed cameras.

United by family ties,

they are the Relatives.

Now you faced the Europhiles in your first heat. How did that game go?

-We lost.

-Did you enjoy it anyway?

Yes, the wall was a nightmare but it was a good game.

Well, I hope you have an equally enjoyable

but higher-scoring game tonight.

You will be facing on my left,

Keith Andrew, a geography graduate

who enjoys baking muffins and gardening for his neighbours.

Eric Kilby, a statistician

who recently conducted a DNA study

-of his surname and is planning to build a two-roomed shed.

-Classic.

And their captain, Tim Westcott,

a Swindon FC supporter and former

boy soprano who once ran a 5km race inside a prison.

They enjoy nothing more

than a nice work of art.

They are the Exhibitionists.

Now, you lost your first heat to the Heath family.

Is there anything you'd do differently this time?

Well, I think we need to play more strategically and I need

to pay more, or possibly even less,

-attention to my team-mates.

-Yeah.

OK, well, two of our teams then lost their earlier heats

which means that tonight, one team will be going home.

In order to avoid that, you simply need the highest score,

and that won't happen unless we start the quiz.

So, Exhibitionists,

you won the toss,

you're going first,

choose your hieroglyph.

-Twisted Flax, please.

-OK.

BELL

The music question immediately.

Sorry. What is the connection

between these musical clues?

Here's the first.

JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYS

That's cricket.

That's Caribbean Calypso...

THEY CONFER

Next.

# Meanwhile, back in the city The real pill

# The nitty gritty

# Sell yourself for your own soul

# For a nickel... #

Sounds like Grandmaster Flash, but...

-I would go with next.

-Next.

-Next.

# Rock my world until the sunlight

# Make this dream... #

That's Domino by Jessie J.

-I don't know.

-Domino and cricket.

We'd better have the last one.

Next, please.

# By the rivers of Babylon... #

-That's Boney M.

-Five seconds.

Anything?

BELL

Games. I've no idea.

Er, the Caribbean.

That is NOT the connection, I'm afraid.

So Relatives, you have the chance for a bonus point.

There's initials in the name, like

Booker T and the MGs for Soul Limbo

-and Jessie J, um...

-Boney M.

That's what it is.

Single letters or initials.

Booker T, Jessie J, Boney M,

and did you know that second one?

Can't remember what it was now.

-Ice-T?

-No, it wasn't Ice-T,

although good guess.

Dirty Cash

by The Adventures Of Stevie V.

So that's right, single letters,

and you get the bonus point.

Please choose your own question.

Could we have the Eye of Horus,

-please?

-You certainly could.

What is the connection between

these clues? Here's the first.

Pandas at Edinburgh zoo.

Next, please.

Something that's been imported into the country?

Imported into Scotland. Try the next one?

Next, please.

No. Given away as gifts to the country.

Yeah, somebody's given us these gifts from another country.

BELL

Things that have been given from other countries

as gifts from one country to another, like the pandas

to Edinburgh Zoo and the Statue of Liberty from France to America.

They are gifts from one country to another.

The last one was

the Trafalgar Square Christmas tree

that's given from Norway.

That's in thanks for

the UK's support of Norway

during the Second World War.

100,000 tulip bulbs

-given from whom to whom?

-Amsterdam?

Holland to somewhere.

See, actually, no.

They were given

from Canada to Holland.

And that's to say thank you

for wartime support as well.

Now, these pandas,

Chia-Chia and Ching-Ching,

they were a gift from China

to the UK in 1974.

Do you know what wonderful thing

did Britain do for China in 1974?

-'74? No idea.

-I'll tell you.

It sent Edward Heath on a visit.

The Chinese were so delighted,

they immediately sent some pandas as a thank you.

OK, Exhibitionists, your turn again.

Which question would you like?

-Two Reeds, please.

-Two Reeds.

What is the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

THEY CONFER

Next.

Barcelona, Penelope Cruz, ah.

Well, Penelope Cruz was in Vicky Barcelona.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

-Was Marion Cotillard in some movie called Paris?

-Possibly.

-We could go one more.

-Next, please.

-Yes, she was in The Purple Rose Of Cairo.

-They're all in films with...

Yeah, they're all in films

with that word in the title.

-You sure?

-Yes. Yes!

-Let's go for it.

BELL

Is it all actresses that have starred

in films with the city in the name?

Can you tell me any more?

Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

The Purple Rose Of Cairo.

We don't know the Paris one, do we?

The Purple Rose Of Cairo.

Not sure of the first one.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

And we're not sure about Paris.

Well, I'm going to accept it,

because they are all stars

that were in films with

those cities in the title.

I'll show you the last clue.

Manhattan, Diane Keaton.

Can you tell me any more, Relatives?

-No.

-No, we can't.

-No?

Woody Allen films.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona,

Purple Rose of Cairo, Manhattan

and the first one,

Midnight In Paris.

So specifically Woody Allen films

and those stars,

but you get the point because they are of course all films.

So back to you, Relatives, to choose a question.

-Water, please.

-Water.

What is the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

The Blues, WC Handy.

Don't know who WC Handy is.

Next, please.

-Father of.

-Sorry?

-They were the father of. Go for it.

BELL

Hamish will answer.

They're known

as the father of the thing above.

Coming in after two clues,

I will give you three points,

known as the "father of..."

You didn't need to see History,

that'll be Herodotus, or the father

of medicine, Hippocrates.

Wouldn't have helped.

Very well done indeed.

Do you know the names of WC Handy,

father of the blues?

-I have no idea.

-Do you know

-his names? William Christopher.

-Oh.

Nice little fact for anyone who's got a quiz coming up.

William Christopher Handy, father of the blues.

So well done and back to you, Exhibitionists, for a choice.

-Lion, please.

-Lion.

These are going to be picture clues.

What connects them?

Here's the first.

I don't even know what that is.

It looks like a river delta.

Some animal that stings or something...

-Next.

-Next.

-Next!

Bowls.

Crown green bowls.

I don't know what the first one is.

-I don't know what the first one is.

-Next.

Porridge. Bowls, porridge.

Next, please.

That's Bear Grylls, isn't it?

Yeah.

Bear Grylls, porridge...

It's erm, Little Red Riding Hood,

-isn't it?

-Five seconds.

-Bear, bowl, porridge.

-Yeah.

-Well done.

-Little Red Riding Hood.

Not the answer, I'm afraid,

so there's a bonus chance

-for you, Relatives.

-Nicholas?

Goldilocks And The Three Bears.

It's Goldilocks! Goldilocks!

The first clue was oyster beds,

so she finds the beds in the house,

bowls, porridge, and finally

the three bears. Goldilocks. Yeah.

Little Red Riding Hood is all about the wolf who dresses as grandma.

So you get the bonus point, Relatives, well done.

And the last question, the Horned Viper, will go to you.

What connects these clues?

Here's the first.

The Boulder Mobile. Wacky Races.

-Shall we go for it?

-Take another one.

Next, please.

-Ah, no.

-No, no. OK, let's not go for that.

Eh, Apollo 12 fuel element that's...

Shall I go for the next one or not?

-Take the next one.

-Next, please.

-Back To The Future.

-Nuclear power, weren't they?

-I don't know, I've no idea.

-Can we have one more?

-Next, please.

People who've appeared in films and...

Oh, no, no, no. You've got to

-hit it to start it. Go with it.

-Yeah.

BELL

You've got to hit it to start it to make it go.

Or someone can hit it to start it.

That is the answer.

My question editor calls

it percussive maintenance.

That's what I meant.

If you hit them, you make it work.

The Boulder Mobile, that was hit by

the Slag brothers in the Wacky Races

with a club. Apollo 12 fuel element,

anyone know that story?

Someone had to hit it.

Well, the fuel element got stuck

in a casket

and the astronauts hit it

with some sort of space hammer

and it started working again.

Doc Brown's DeLorean,

what's that from?

That's Back To The Future.

And who hits what with what?

Marty McFly hits his head on the

steering wheel in frustration

and it starts.

And the last one, do you know

where that's from?

-Happy Days.

-Happy Days.

The Fonz hits Arnold's jukebox,

at Arnold's drive-in to make it work. Very well done.

So, at the end of Round One the Exhibitionists have got

two points,

the Relatives are ahead with eight.

Round Two is the sequences round.

Teams may see a maximum of three clues before telling me

what comes next. Exhibitionists, you'll be going first again.

Please choose a question.

-Eye of Horus, please.

-Eye of Horus.

OK, what would you expect to see fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

THEY CONFER

Travels.

Next.

Might have something to do with letters.

Spirit of...something.

Next.

Is it? Is it...?

Things on Mars? Is it Curiosity?

Mars rovers. I don't know.

Curiosity is the next one. Go for that.

I've no idea.

Yeah, Curiosity.

BELL

Curiosity.

All successful Mars rovers.

The next is Curiosity.

Well done.

NASA missions to Mars.

Over to you, Relatives, for a sequence question.

Twisted Flax, please.

OK.

What would come fourth?

Here's the first.

THEY CONFER

Next, please.

An owl, a fox and an owl.

Any idea? Next, please.

Snake...

A fox, an owl and a snake.

Brown? Brown owl?

I kid you not, the only thing

I can connect all three of them with

is the animals of Farthing Wood.

What's the last one?

I'd take a stab at badger.

-Five seconds.

-Yeah, go for it.

BELL

-Badger?

-Not a sequence, I'm afraid.

There is a bonus chance

for the Exhibitionists.

Bear? I don't know.

-Fourth, a beaver.

-No!

I mean, it's a bit like a beaver,

it's a bit like a bear.

You know, but...

-What was your answer?

-Badger.

Bit like a beaver, bit like a bear,

bit like a badger.

But actually, the Gruffalo.

These are the creatures

that the mouse meets as it

progresses through the book

The Gruffalo.

Apparently the mouse

convinces these

animals that the Gruffalo

will eat them, and then it meets

the Gruffalo itself.

Back to you then, Exhibitionists, to choose a question.

-Two Reeds, please.

-Two Reeds.

These are going to be picture clues.

What would you expect to see in the fourth picture?

Here's the first.

Beam. Two feet on the beam.

Next.

-What's that?

-It's, uh, Maine.

-It's Maine.

-Maine? It's not Maine.

It's not Maine because it's right at the top, it's on the coast.

-North Hampshire?

-Come on, we want the next one.

-Next.

Up. Up.

-Up in the air. Beam me up, Scotty.

-Scotty.

-Scotty. Yeah. Go for it.

-OK.

BELL

-Beam me up, Scotty.

-Scotty.

Something that's got Scotty in it.

A picture of a Scotty dog,

is what we went for.

The answer is Scotty,

from the phrase,

"Beam me up, Scotty"

that was used in most

episodes of Star Trek.

Put your pens down, Trekkies.

I know it wasn't said on Star Trek, I'm just teasing.

Back to you, Relatives, to choose a question.

-Lion please.

-Lion.

OK, what's the fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

-Domo.

-It's Latin, isn't it?

Next, please.

Salad.

-Where's the sequence?

-I don't know.

-Can we have next?

Next, please.

Brown girl.

-Girl in the ring.

-Is it not sumo?

I don't know.

How's it sumo?

Brown girl in the ring.

Waldorf is...

from the Muppets, but that's...

Nine seconds.

-Brown girl...

-Hit the buzzer.

And I'm afraid the time is up,

so there's a bonus chance

for the Exhibitionists.

Something hotel brown?

-I need an answer.

-A gold ring.

Gold ring is not the answer.

Now we would have accepted Diaz

or crow.

Cameron.

Something you can put

Cameron in front of.

Girl in the Ring is the clue.

You can put Brown before that.

And you can put before the others...

Major for Major Domo.

Blair Waldorf is

a character in Gossip Girl.

Major Blair, Brown and next will be

something you can put after Cameron,

for example Diaz.

Fiendish. No points there.

Exhibitionists, your turn to choose a question.

-Water, please.

-Water.

OK. The last question,

specifically for you of this round.

What is the fourth

in this sequence? Here's the first.

CHATTER

Next.

WHISPERING

Next.

-What's the fourth one there?

-The sky.

I've no idea.

-Are they in order of size?

-I don't know. I've no idea.

Five seconds.

BELL

Er, sky.

Not the answer, I'm afraid.

So you get a bonus chance, Relatives.

I'm going to hand to our Scottish contingent.

Who will get it wrong.

Mainland Orkney.

Well, I'll accept it.

Just the Mainland is the title,

but they are the Orkney Islands

in order of size and the largest

is mainland or the mainland.

I'd also have accepted -

I don't know how to pronounce it -

but Rothesay, an ancient name

for the mainland in the Orkneys.

Well done for the bonus point,

and it's your team's question now.

The Horned Viper is what remains.

What is the fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

WHISPERING

Next, please.

WHISPERING

Next, please.

We know what's going to be next.

Three seconds.

BELL

I'll ask Hamish to answer.

Er...

The star sign... Star sign seven.

Not the answer, I'm afraid.

So, Exhibitionists,

you have a bonus chance.

WHISPERING

Left bracket seven.

That's not it either.

You're both right -

these are the symbols on a keyboard

going with the numbers

ascending with number seven.

An ampersand, an "and" sign,

that's what was number seven.

At the end of round two then,

the Exhibitionists have six points,

the Relatives have nine.

Time for the Connecting Wall,

16 clues that need separating into four neatly connected quarters.

The Relatives will be going first this time.

So, Relatives, you have a choice - Lion or Water?

Lion, please.

OK. You've got two and a half minutes to solve this wall...

starting now.

WHISPERING

Paradise Lost. Paradise Gained.

Arcsine is a mathematical function.

What else is a mathematical function?

I'm not seeing any...

Gorge and glen, and the dale and the basin...

and depression.

OK, keep looking.

What about funk music, organ music, blues and something else?

Sorts of music.

Misery? No, OK.

Misery, sorrow, blues

and funk are things that upset.

Three strikes and you're out now.

Come on then, think now.

Er... Double trouble.

Organ donor...

Double talk.

Double trouble, double talk...

-Double yellow.

-And double arcsine.

Double dale. Double paradise.

What are the others?

Humidor is something you keep things in.

You keep cigars in a humidor.

It wants to have something like a...

word connection between them.

Emmerdale. Dale...

You've got a minute left.

Organ is something you play...

Try double...

Double organ.

Are we happy with those three as doubles?

Try double humidor.

Nope.

-This is the last.

-One more go.

Don't touch anything.

What's an arcsine?

Arsine is when you...

-So what is it?

-Paradise...

Halfway to paradise...

Paradise City.

Double or... What did we try?

Ten seconds now.

-Double dale.

-Try it again.

That's not it. Your strikes are up,

the wall's frozen, but you found two groups so that's two points.

I'll give you bonus points, of course, for the connections.

So gorge, glen, basin, depression.

Geographical features for things...

holes in the earth.

That's it. Hollows or valleys

in the landscape.

Misery, sorrow, funk, blues.

When you're feeling down or sad.

That's it. Terms for sadness.

And you can still get points for the connections of the groups you

didn't find, so let's resolve the wall.

OK. Yellow, talk, trouble, paradise.

-They can all be doubled.

-OK.

Can all be doubled.

Double yellow, double talk, double trouble...

Yeah, but it falls down at paradise, I'm afraid.

They are actually songs by Coldplay.

ALL: Oh...

Coldplay songs.

And the last group -

arcsine, humidor, dale, organ.

Something you keep things in.

Mathematical functions.

You're not seeing it,

so I'm going to tell you.

They are anagrams of chemical elements.

-ALL: Oh.

-Arsenic, rhodium, lead, argon -

anagrams of elements.

But you found two groups,

and you got two more points for the connections,

so that's a total of four.

Time to dismantle that wall

and construct an entire new one for the Exhibitionists.

16 clues still need sorting in the same old way.

Exhibitionists, you will have the Water wall.

Two and a half minutes to solve it starting now.

Bat, stump, bails are all cricket.

Pads and gloves.

There's too many.

WHISPERING

I'm pretty sure stump and bails...

Keep going.

Erm...

Watch television? What's this?

No.

OK.

-Players as well.

-Nordic era.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Watch television, Nordic era, ages...

England.

I've got absolutely no idea.

Licence for alcohol...

Licence to watch television...

-Yeah, yeah.

-To drive.

ALL TALK OVER EACH OTHER

OK.

What's Nordic era?

Well, we're not going to get very far here, are we?

Class...

HE LAUGHS

Right, come on.

-Helmet...

-A minute left.

Nordic era, England...

-C.

-Class action.

Class... First class.

WHISPERING

-Anything else?

-Erm...

England...

HE LAUGHS

Three strikes and you're out now.

WHISPERING

Ten seconds.

WHISPERING

-Got one more go.

-Three seconds.

No, that's it, and the wall's frozen.

But you found two groups, so that's two points.

Bonus points for the connections.

Watch television, box, drive, sell alcohol.

-Need a licence.

-They must be covered by a licence.

Bat, helmet, pads, gloves.

Wear... Play cricket.

Accoutrements in cricket.

And you can still get points for the connections in the groups you

didn't find, so let's resolve the wall.

OK. Stump, C, class, England.

C...

You're not seeing it.

You can put middle before all of them.

Middle stump, middle C, middle class, middle England.

And the last one.

Bails, players, Nordic era, ages.

Sorry. Nothing there either.

They are anagrams of herbs.

Are they really?

Basil, parsley, coriander and sage.

Anagrams of herbs.

But you did find two groups and make two connections,

so that is a total of four points.

Let's see how that leaves the scores going into the final round.

The Exhibitionists have ten points,

the Relatives have 13.

And you can find more walls

to play on our website,

where you can also write your own.

We're going to play the Missing Vowels round.

You know the rules by now. What are the names, phrases or sayings

that are disguised by having the vowels removed?

Fingers on buzzers, teams.

The first group are all types of jazz.

-BELL

-Relatives.

-New Orleans.

-Correct.

BELL

-Exhibitionists.

-Bebop.

-Yeah.

-BELL

-Exhibitionists.

-Boogie-woogie.

-Yes.

BELL

-Exhibitionists

-Dixieland.

Someone's a jazz fan.

Next category - slang terms for "the wife."

-BELL

-Relatives.

-Trouble and strife.

-Correct.

-BELL

-Relatives.

-Her indoors.

-That's right.

-BELL

-Relatives.

-Old lady.

-That's right.

-BELL

-Relatives.

-Better half.

-Indeed.

Next category - things considered unlucky.

-BELL

-Relatives.

-Spilling salt.

-Yes.

-BELL

-Relatives.

-Friday the 13th.

-Yeah.

-BELL

-Relatives.

-Breaking a mirror.

-Correct.

-BELL

-Exhibitionists.

-Walking under a ladder.

-Correct.

Next category - plays by Willy Russell.

This one's Educating Rita.

Next clue.

No. That one's Our Day Out.

Next clue.

No Willy Russell fans here.

It's One For The Road. Last clue.

-BELL

-Exhibitionists.

-Shirley Valentine.

-That's it.

Next category - hospital departments.

TIME UP JINGLE

But there is no time for any hospital departments

because that is the end of the quiz

and the Exhibitionists finish with 15 points,

but the winners and through to the next round

are the Relatives with 21.

Very well done, Relatives.

Exhibitionists, I am so sorry.

We have to say goodbye to you.

Thank you very much for coming and we're sorry to see you go.

Join me next time, when we'll have more sparkling minds

and clever clogs,

but not sparkling clogs.

That's a different show, more's the pity. Goodbye.