Software Engineers v Erstwhile Athletes Only Connect

Hello and welcome to Only Connect, where I am joined by two teams

who have previously played here and not won.

So, whoever loses tonight will be out. O-U-T, out.

Although, if I actually have to spell the word out for them,

it doesn't bode well for the rest of the quiz.

Both teams keen to avoid a losing streak or, please, God,

any other kind of streaking.

So let's say hello and fingers crossed, too. On my right,

Daniel Fullard, an employability tutor with a History degree

who is an enthusiastic member of the Campaign For Real Ale.

Brendan Curtis, a diagnostic radiographer who has

previously worked as a kitchen porter, a shop assistant,

a farm hand and a TEFL teacher in Slovakia.

And their captain, Chris Curtis - a detention officer who is

currently training for a sponsored walk from London to Bletchley.

United by a historic attitude for athletics,

they are the Erstwhile Athletes.

You faced the Record Collectors, Chris, in your last heat.

How did that go?

We were a bit like a British 4x100 metre relay team

in that we managed to drop the baton.

-So, hopefully, we will get the baton around this time.

-Perfect.

You will be facing, on my left...

Stephen Mcintosh - a Computer Science graduate who enjoys

Tarantino films and once helped Lembit Opic retrieve an e-mail.

Anne Harrison - an engineer and award-winning Latin dancer,

who recently made a Volkswagen Beetle out of wood.

And their captain, Chris Howlett - a software engineer

and amateur dramatics enthusiast who is currently

rehearsing for a role in Guys And Dolls.

United by computing competence, they are the Software Engineers.

You faced the Welsh Learners. Chris, tell me about that game.

I think we were beaten by the better team there.

So this time, we just have to be the better team.

Are there any areas of knowledge you think you hope won't come up

-after the last experience?

-Music, definitely music.

Well, I think I can guarantee there will be at least one music

question, but you have got a 50-50 chance of not getting it.

Let's play the quiz.

Round one - the connection between four apparently random clues.

If you have forgotten that, then you are really in trouble.

Software Engineers, you won the toss, you will be going first.

Please choose

your Egyptian hieroglyph.

-Lion, please.

-OK.

Oh, it is the music question,

but at least you will get it

-out of the way early.

-Yep.

Good luck with this.

You will be hearing the clues,

what connects them?

Here's the first.

SONG: "'Round Midnight"

Next.

# Heaven is holding a half moon. #

I recognize this.

Yeah, it's nice.

-Midnight At The Oasis.

-Next.

SONG: "In The Midnight Hour"

I know this as well.

HE WHISPERS

Possibly, do you want to go for it?

Or should we take next?

BELL

They all mention times of day.

Have another go.

Specifically midnight.

They... Midnight?

They all mention midnight.

I'd have to have accepted

they all mention times of day,

but the time of day they mention is midnight.

You didn't need Midnight Train To Georgia.

Coming in after three clues, you get two points. Athletes,

the good news is the music question is gone.

-What would you like?

-Unfortunately, we happen to know that one as well.

Oh, unlucky. But maybe you will know this.

-May we have Two Reeds, please?

-You may have Two Reeds.

What is the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

THEY WHISPER

Next, please.

-Prince.

-Prince?

They're not named after someone,

-though.

-Next, please.

Lester Piggot... Did they all get...?

He got jailed for tax evasion,

didn't Naseem Hamed?

He went to jail after a car crash,

-didn't he?

-I don't know,

-I'd get the next one.

-Next, please.

Do it.

Three seconds.

They have all been detained

at Her Majesty's pleasure.

They were not all in prison,

so, Software Engineers,

you have the chance for a bonus point.

We think they have all lost honours as a result of being

detained at Her Majesty's pleasure.

I'm going to accept it.

They were all stripped of honours.

Naseem Hamed lost an MBE.

Lester Piggot, an OBE.

Fred Goodwin, a knighthood,

of course. What can you tell me

about Vidkun Quisling?

-Absolutely nothing at all, I'm afraid.

-Sorry.

Do you know about Quisling?

He was a traitor, wasn't he?

World War II traitor, he was Norwegian.

Yes, he was Norwegian.

He had an honorary CBE, which he

lost in 1940 cos he got involved

with a Nazi-backed government.

And a quisling is a word used

to mean a traitor now.

Or it could also mean a young

quizzer. Hello, little quislings.

I'll try and keep it clean.

OK, so you get the bonus point,

Software Engineers.

Please choose a question.

Horned Viper, please.

Horned viper, OK.

What is the connection between

these clues? Here's the first.

Next.

THEY WHISPER

Next.

Oh, they are animated characters.

It's Angelina Ballerina.

They are animated characters.

-Yeah, animated characters.

-Oh, that would be Dora.

BELL

They are children's animated characters.

The thing is, I'm assuming

you have seen the show before,

we couldn't possibly accept.

You're going to have to tell me something else.

I mean, that is true of them,

but it's just too simple.

They are rhyming children's

-cartoon characters.

-I can't take it.

There is a bonus chance

for the Athletes.

Now I'm going to show you the last clue.

THEY WHISPER

Is it the surnames of the characters.

Dora Marquez possibly?

We have swapped in their surnames.

You see, I can't accept your answer

because these technically

aren't animated characters.

Dora the Explorer, Fireman Sam,

Angelina Ballerina and Postman Pat

would be the actual

characters' names.

These are characters,

but the specific thing that has

happened to these clues is

we have swapped in their surnames

where their first names would normally be in the titles.

So, that is a bonus point for you, Athletes.

And your chance to choose

-a question.

-Twisted Flax, please.

Twisted Flax. What is

the connection between these clues?

Here is the first.

Next, please.

I think that's timing for the...

For tennis - for the U.S. Open,

-for the Australian Open.

-It could be.

You want to get another one to be

on the safe side or do you want to

go for it?

BELL

They provide the timing equipment

for the U.S. Open tennis,

the Australian Open tennis,

French Open tennis and Wimbledon.

Goodness me, well,

I'm certainly going to give you

the points, you hadn't even seen

the next two clues, which were

the French Open and Wimbledon.

More generally, you might say

the timekeepers for tennis

Grand Slam events, but you actually

gave me all four without

seeing them. Very impressed.

I'd give you bonus points

if I could. I can't, I can only

give you three for

coming in after two clues.

Back to you then,

-Software Engineers.

-Water, please.

Water.

These are going to be picture clues,

what connects them?

Here's the first.

It's a knot. Is it a specific type?

It's a double.

Not one I recognise. Next.

Cathedral... Or is it a castle?

I'm not sure.

-I don't know.

-No.

-Next.

Putting a ring on a finger.

He's putting a ring...

Binding?

I can't see why it'd be the cathedral. Next.

Fisherman's Friend.

-Fisherman...

-Five seconds.

It must be. I'll just go for it.

-Fishermen.

-That is the connection.

What do you think you are looking at?

It must be a fisherman's knot. Those are Fisherman's Friends.

I don't know what the other two are.

Do you know what that second one is,

-Brendan?

-I don't, actually.

I thought you might because it is near your area of expertise.

It's the Fisherman's Bastion

in Budapest.

And that's the fisherman's ring.

That's the fisherman's ring, the Pope's ring,

related of course to Peter the Fisherman.

And yes, the fisherman's knot

is a bend, apparently,

but a fisherman's bend

is of course a hitch.

Only a fool would confuse those two knots.

Well done, you get the points.

And back to the Athletes for the

last question, the Eye of Horus.

What is the connection

between these clues?

Here is the first.

Next, please.

Next, please.

Lapin, that's French for rabbit.

Could be, get the next one.

Next, please.

Klingo. Add an N on the end

-and it's Klingon.

-Yeah, yeah.

You have to add something.

Yeah, so, add a letter

and you get a Star Trek alien?

We could try it.

-We need to buzz.

-Three seconds.

BELL

By adding a letter on the end,

you get an alien from Star Trek.

I'm afraid you do not get

an alien from Star Trek.

So, Software Engineers, do you want to have a go for a bonus?

If you add a letter, you get a constructed language.

You get a constructed language.

You can add an N to get Klingon,

but that is the only alien, I think.

What about the other languages?

-Elvish.

-Elvish,

from the Lord Of The Rings.

It must be Valyrian, I'm guessing.

Yes, from?

Not one I know, I'm afraid.

Game Of Thrones.

And what about that third one?

Lapin, the French word for rabbit.

The clue is in that. You add an E, you get Lapine - Watership Down.

It is the rabbits' language

in Watership Down.

Elvish can be written

in various scripts, including

Tengwar of Feanor.

Various modes including Quenyas

and Sindarin.

Anyone here speak any Elvish?

Any Klingon?

What kind of an episode is this?

An Only Connect show where nobody

can speak Elvish or Klingon?

We must try harder. Very well played, though,

in round one.

The closing scores there are...

Erstwhile Athletes - 4,

Software Engineers - 5.

Round two - sequences.

This time the teams must work out the connections first,

but tell me what comes next in a sequence,

and they may only see a maximum of three clues in order to do that.

Software Engineers, which question would you like?

-Take Lion again.

-Lion, OK.

What do you think would be the fourth clue in this sequence?

Here's the first.

The...Prince. The Little Prince?

Next.

THEY WHISPER

I can't tell.

Next.

Oh, it's the...

HE WHISPERS

But what's with the title?

What's with the numbers?

-Just master, I think.

-OK.

Five seconds.

Might as well guess it.

BELL

Fourth - Master.

And why would that be?

They appear to be

titles given to descending

offspring of nobility or something

of that, we're not really sure.

That is not right,

because, as you said yourselves,

the numbers wouldn't mean anything

there. So there's a possible bonus

chance for the Athletes.

I can't give you a long time.

-I've got nothing, sorry.

-No.

Now, the reason why it is

The and II and The Third is

because we are talking about...

Oh, Blackadder!

Blackadder.

Yes, The Blackadder is Prince Edward Duke of Edinburgh.

II, Blackadder II,

he is Lord Blackadder.

Blackadder The Third,

he is just Blackadder Esquire.

And Blackadder Goes Fourth,

he is captain.

So, no points there, although Brendan, you got to bang your head

on the desk, which is an important thing to do at any quiz, I think.

And your chance to choose a question.

May we had Two Reeds, please?

Yes, you may.

What is the fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

Next, please.

Next, please.

What does the lower case I stand for?

HE WHISPERS

Five seconds.

BELL

10.

Not the answer, I'm afraid.

So the chance of the bonus

-for you, Engineers.

-Root two.

Do you want to have a go at what it

actually is, the square root of two?

1.41.

Dot, dot, dot...

What I hoped to hear was

1.41421356237,

but close enough.

Can you explain to your opponents?

They are the square roots of integers going up, starting from -1.

That's right.

So the i signifies the square root

of -1.

And the square root of zero, one and

two, root two would be the answer.

So, well done for the bonus,

Engineers.

-And which question would you like?

-Eye of

-Horus. Eye of Horus.

Now, these are going to be picture clues.

What would you expect to see in the fourth picture?

Here's the first.

-Some kind of chocolate.

-Chocolate bar of some kind.

It's not a... They're thicker than that.

Next.

You're going to have

-to go next.

-Yeah. Next.

-They're hanging a picture.

-Picture.

THEY WHISPER

Is it brittle? Peanut brittle?

It might be brittle, but...

It's a Picnic At Hanging Rock.

Three seconds.

BELL

A rock.

A rock or some lovely sticks

of rock is the answer.

-And why is that?

-Stephen is going

to have to explain it.

The first one is a Picnic.

The second one is the at symbol.

And the third one they are hanging.

So it is Jeffrey Eugenides' book, Picnic At Hanging Rock.

A very nearly flawless answer.

The author is actually Joan Lindsay.

Well done. All right, Athletes,

your turn to choose.

-Twisted Flax, please.

-Twisted Flax.

What would be the fourth in this sequence?

Here is the first.

Next, please.

Next, please.

-Native of Latvia.

-That's a Lett, isn't it?

-Lett.

Erm...

That's a Lett. Something D or Greek letter? Letter. Letter.

-Yeah.

-Five seconds.

BELL

It's a point that you have to play again in tennis.

I will accept that answer.

And why? Why will I accept it?

Cos the first one is letter, the second one is Lette - L-E-T-T-E.

-Kathy Lette, the author.

-The third one is a Lett - L-E-T-T.

-Mm-hmm.

And then the last one is a let - L-E-T.

We would have taken a rental or a type of tennis service.

Very well done.

Starting with letter we're taking a letter off the end

until we arrive at L-E-T, let.

-Good shout.

-Well done.

Back to you, Software Engineers.

-Horned Viper.

-Horned Viper.

What would you expect to see forth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

Look and listen. It's the green cross code.

Look and listen.

-Look left and right.

-Carefully cross?

-Is it carefully cross?

-That would be last.

-Do we want to go on?

-We need another one.

-Next.

-Wait until it's safe to cross.

-Look left, look right.

Safely cross the road. That's what's going to be the last one.

Yeah. Should we go for it? BELL

-Cross the road safely.

-I'm afraid that's not the answer

so I'm going to show the third

in the sequence to the Erstwhile Athletes.

Keep using your eyes and ears.

Oh, no, although I think that crops up somewhere.

-Now, you know, don't you, that this is the Green Cross code?

-Yes.

But, the capital letters and exclamation marks,

we're looking for the exact wording

and after Look And Listen

you get Arrive Alive.

Weirdly, the actual road crossing is sort of... It's implied.

You know, you sort of cross the road in between three and four,

aiming to arrive alive. Although, to be honest,

I would think arrive alive would be the advice on each phase of it.

But that's it. No points there.

And the last question of the round goes to you, Athletes.

It's Water. What would be the fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

Edward VIII. 77.

When he was born?

Prince Albert. Next, please.

-86, King, isn't it?

-George III.

George III. 81.

When was the last year? Erm...

-No, 1820, he finished.

-Next, please.

-Victoria.

-81.

-81.

Age...not age when they died?

-Edward VIII.

-Five seconds.

BELL

It is...the number of direct descendants they would have...

-Say it.

-What comes fourth in the sequence?

-Erm...

-No, that's too long, I'm afraid.

I'm going to throw it over for a possible bonus

-to the Engineers.

-We think it's Elizabeth II still alive.

I'm going to let you have another go

and I want the fourth to look like the rest of the sequence.

-She was born in 1920...

-I can't leave you too long.

-88.

-Elizabeth II, 88.

-I'm afraid not, because at time of recording

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

-is 87.

-THEY GROAN

She's not had her birthday because it's not...

It's British monarchs in order

not of rule but of longevity

and their ages in brackets.

Obviously, Queen Victoria lived a few months longer than George III

and next would be Elizabeth II at 87.

So, at the end of round two, the Erstwhile Athletes have six points,

the Software Engineers have eight.

And if either of the teams have been having nightmares

about Connecting Walls since their first heat, good news,

they can lay that ghost to rest with a new one.

You'll be going first, Erstwhile Athletes.

So you can choose Connecting Wall Lion or Water?

-Lion, please.

-OK.

You have 2½ minutes to solve the Lion wall. Starting now.

-OK. Clergy.

-OK. Do you want to... Shall I have a go?

-Yeah.

BUZZ We've got Sinatra and Davis.

BUZZ

Who else was in the Rat Pack with Sammy Davis Jr?

-Erm...

-BUZZ

BUZZ

BUZZ

-Erm...

-OK.

Have we got tennis trophies?

-Hopman Cup.

-Davis Cup.

-Hopman Cup, Fed Cup.

-Davis cup.

Davis Cup and Kremlin Cup.

Right. We've got...

Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr...

-Dean Martin.

-Dean Martin.

-No, Davis is gone.

-Davis is gone.

Perhaps it's not them.

QUIET CONFERRING

BUZZ Are they characters from something?

Deacon...

Three strikes and you're out, now.

So...

Bishop.

-Sister.

-Nancy Sinatra?

Good neighbour?

-Erm... Sister Act?

-Only child, something like that?

-We've got time. Steve Martin.

-We've got knight.

John Bishop's a comedian. Steve Martin's a comedian.

We need to start.

BUZZ

Two goes now, and 30 seconds.

BUZZ

That's it! You've solved the wall! You seem surprised.

I'll give you an immediate four points for providing that solution.

What about the connections? Fed, Hopman, Davis, Kremlin.

They are Cup competitions in tennis.

That's right. Tennis Cups. I thought that was pretty obscure.

But I guess that's one of your specialist areas, the old sport.

Canon, Priest, Pope, Deacon?

Ranks in the Catholic clergy.

You could say Catholic clergy,

Christian clergy really.

They're all clergyman.

What about this one, Child, Night, Neighbour, Sister?

All followed by Act.

No, they're all followed by Hood.

-Oh!

-Childhood, Knighthood,

Neighbourhood, Sisterhood.

That's what that one is.

And the last one, Lawford, Bishop, Sinatra, Martin?

Erm, Rat Pack.

They're all members of The Rat Pack.

It was Bishop that threw you, Joey Bishop,

he was a comedian and singer.

He was actually an early host of The Tonight Show before Johnny Carson.

And the others, Peter Lawford,

Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin.

So, four points for the groups you found

and three more for connections, that's a total of seven.

Time to bring back the Software Engineers,

give them a little computer, they'll be comfortable with that

until they see the new wall.

It's the Water Wall for you guys.

You've got two and a half minutes to solve it, starting now.

OK...

Moan, Gripe, Grouse,

-what else have we got?

-Beef?

-Beef.

No. Whine.

OK.

Right...

There we go.

-Erm...

-Stockpile.

-A Cache...

-Safe place to put things, Stock, Reserve, Hoard.

-And Store.

There we go, excellent.

-Remember, three strikes now and you're out.

-OK...

-Got time.

-So, we've got Rainman, Mailman.

-Chaingang.

Chainmail. Chainsmoke.

Chain store. OK, so what?

So it's the other three in a group.

What's the other three?

Let's take...

But we don't know it's those three so put the other three together...

Fair enough. Pure, Moan.

-..and try and think of a connection.

-Rain...

Are they pop groups?

I...don't think so, but don't ask me.

-Anagrams?

-Anagrams is quite plausible.

Rain is not helping much.

-Train.

-We've got oodles of time...

-We do.

-Is it a suffix?

Well, this is the prefix so that's unlikely to be a suffix.

Halfway through the time.

Urm...

This is...

HE SIGHS

Oman.

Peru.

-No.

-Mali.

-Mali. Shall we...?

-Take Rain out first -

-put Mali in and find another country.

-I can't think of Chainrain.

Shall we try that? Yeah.

-Yes!

-That's it, you've solved the Wall,

so that's four points immediately.

Let's look for the connections. Whine, Beef, Gripe, Grouse.

They're worse for complaining.

Ways to complain.

Cash, Stock, Hoard, Reserve.

They're stockpiles, things you keep in reserve.

-You store things safely.

-That's it, they are stores.

What about this - Rain, Moan, Pure, Mail?

They're anagrams of countries.

That's right. You said Rain

-is an anagram of much, but it's an anagram of...?

-Iran!

Iran! And the last one,

Gang, Store, Smoke, Letter?

Can all be preceded by Chain.

You can put Chain before all of them.

So that is, as well as the four points for finding groups,

four points for the connections and you get the extra

two for getting it all right, it's the maximum of ten points.

Very well done. Let's have a look at the scores

going into the final round.

You can also find lots of Walls on our website where you can

also write your own. But we're going to play round four, missing vowels.

We've taken the vowels out of well-known names, phrases and

sayings, squished up the consonants, what are those disguised clues?

Fingers on buzzers, teams. The first group are all...

-Fire Drill.

-Correct.

Time to Wake up.

An alarm clock, that's right.

-Parliamentary Division.

-Correct.

-Last Orders.

-Chilling words,

but that's correct. Next category...

-Education.

-Correct.

-Engineers?

-Authorise.

-Correct.

-Sequoia.

-Correct.

-Abstemious.

-Eugh, that's right.

Next category...

-Engineers?

-The Second Sex.

Correct.

Don't know this one. Virginia Woolf's A Room Of One's Own.

Next clue.

-Athletes?

-The Female Eunuch.

Correct.

The Beauty Myth.

That's correct. Next category...

-Engineers?

-Who Dares Wins.

END-OF-ROUND JINGLE

Who Dares Wins is correct

and that means the Erstwhile Athletes

finish on 19 points but the Software Engineers are the winners with 24.

Very well done, you're through to the next round and, Athletes,

I'm afraid we have to say goodbye to you. You're going home.

You've been an absolutely lovely team, thank you for playing.

Thanks to both teams.

There will be more Only Connect after this short break.

Well, fairly short... 167 and a half hours.

You've got a cup of tea, haven't you?

Stay right where you are.