Comedians Pointless Celebrities

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong

and welcome to this special comedians edition of Pointless Celebrities,

the show where the aim of the game is to score as few points as you

possibly can and you do that by coming up with the answers

no-one else could think of. Let's meet today's Pointless Celebrities.

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Francesca Martinez

and I am a wobbly comedian and I'm also really bad at quizzes.

I'm Jeremy Hardy, I am also a comedian and Francesca is my carer.

Couple number two.

I am Sean, I'm predominantly a comedian but, in my spare time,

I like to ask 100 random strangers quiz questions.

Yeah, I'm Rhona Cameron, I'm a comedian and a saboteur.

Couple number three.

I'm Robert Webb,

I'm a comedy actor which is why I haven't thought of a joke.

I'm Isy Suttie, I am a comedian and an actor,

and no relation to the glove puppet Sooty.

And, finally, couple number four.

I am Hal Cruttenden, comedian, writer and actor.

I also should have thought of a joke and don't have one.

I'm Justin Moorhouse and I'm a comedian, Hal's friend.

Well, thank you very much. We will find out more about you

throughout the show as it goes along.

So, that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

If he gives you a piece of his mind, you might want to look after it.

Worth a fortune on eBay.

It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya.

Hi, everybody. Evening.

-Good evening to you. How are you?

-And to you. I'm very well.

-This will be fun, won't it?

-Well, I think it will.

We've got a few familiar faces who've been on the show before.

-Now, Rhona.

-No.

-And Robert have both been on the show before

-and both came on with the same person.

-Oh, yes, they did.

Notoriously the worst player in Pointless Celebrities history,

-Richard Herring.

-Richard Herring.

-I think you have both traded up,

I would have to say, with Sean and Isy today.

On podium four, both been on before, Hal...

-Yeah.

-..is a champion.

-He is.

-He has a Pointless trophy,

very few people out there with two Pointless trophies, Hal.

So, Justin, no pressure on you at all.

On podium one, lovely Francesca and Jeremy Hardy.

I think Jeremy Hardy, I would say,

is probably one of Britain's greatest ever stand-up comedians.

If you have the chance to go see him live, you must do it,

sensationally brilliant. Pleasure to have you both on the show.

-Thank you.

-Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now, as usual, all of today's questions have been put

to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants are looking for those all-important pointless

answers, those are the answers that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time that happens, we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Now, as today's show is a celebrity special,

each of our lovely celebrities is playing for a nominated charity.

We start off with a jackpot of £2,500.

There we are.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

All you have to remember is this -

the pair with the highest score at the end of each round will be

eliminated. The pair with the highest score.

So, keep your scores low.

No conferring in the first two rounds.

Our first category this evening...

..is Fictional Characters. Fictional Characters.

Can you all decide in your pairs, Rhona, who is going to go first,

who is going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

-RHONA:

-You go first.

OK. And our first question concerns...

-I could've done that!

-Empire magazine...

Well, you get a chance as well.

-OK.

-Empire magazine's 100 greatest movie characters.

-Richard.

-Yeah, in 2015, Empire magazine named

the 100 greatest movie characters of all time.

We're going to show you a board now with 16 of those characters on it.

You just need to name one of the characters, please.

Thank you very much indeed.

So, we're going to put this image up with 16 characters on.

The image, I'm guessing, is not going to change halfway through

-the round?

-No.

-It's going to be there the whole round.

You just have to name one of the characters on that image.

Le's see what that image is.

Here it is.

There we go.

There we go. Jeremy, welcome.

Now, you've been doing stand-up since 1984, I think.

-Yes.

-You are the eminence grise of stand-up, I should say.

-Yes.

-It must have changed a lot.

I'm the slightly inappropriate older uncle of stand-up.

I think of you slightly as a sort of academic. You're sort of

the intellectual wing of stand-up, I think.

So, you mean I am quite clever but not that entertaining?

-No, I think you are both of those things.

-Excellent, thank you.

-Both of those things.

-I'll take that.

-No, but there is

a commercial side, there's a new massive commercial side to stand up.

Not saying that you're not commercial, Jeremy.

I think of you as a sort of, you know, a polemicist.

Excellent. Thank you.

There we are. Now, Jeremy. Jeremy, people.

-Yeah.

-People from films.

-Name a character?

Yes, ideally one that won't have been recognised

by too many of our 100 people.

Er...

Atticus Finch.

Atticus Finch, says Jeremy.

Let's see how many of 100 people said Atticus Finch.

He's right.

It's a good one, down it goes. Still going down.

Look at that, four. Very well done indeed, Jeremy,

you've got the hang of this.

Excellent start to the round and, indeed, the game.

Yeah. That's a great start, Jeremy, very well played.

There he is in black-and-white, such a good answer.

Gregory Peck playing Atticus Finch in To Kill A Mockingbird.

Thank you very much. Sean.

-Hello.

-Sean. Welcome to Pointless, it's lovely to have you here.

-Thank you.

-Again, your first time, a debut on Pointless.

Now, you, I always think of the Comedy Store

in the 1980s as being kind of like...almost like the Cavern Club

in Liverpool of the '60s.

It was really where it was at,

and you were very much part of the Comedy Store, weren't you?

I used to die most of the time I played there.

Do you remember anything about it?

Yeah, I remember the Beatles used to be in the dressing room a lot.

It was terrifying cos that was the main club then.

-Yeah.

-But it was... Yeah, I used to really get,

I would throw up before a show and stuff.

Sean.

Characters from movies.

Now, he's known for one name, Red.

Red. Red, says Sean.

Let's see if Red is right, let's see how many of our 100 people said Red.

Another good answer, look at that, down to eight.

Very well done indeed. Two single figure answers so far.

Eight on podium two.

Another good answer, well played, Sean.

Yeah, Morgan Freeman in Shawshank Redemption.

His full name is Ellis Boyd Redding.

Thanks very much indeed.

Isy. Welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Now, talk to me about The Actual One.

Oh, well, it's a book that I have written about my late 20s

and about not wanting to grow up

and settle down, and then, at the book launch,

I proposed to my boyfriend a few days ago.

So I have now grown up officially.

-So you are engaged?

-Yeah. It's cos I need to write a second book.

LAUGHTER

There you go. OK. Now, what would you like to go for

-from our board of characters?

-OK, so my knowledge is quite...

I'm thinking of all the actors' names and not the characters

so I've got one that I hope wasn't spotted by people because it was

a while ago now but I'm going to go for Amelie.

SIGHING FROM CONTESTANTS

Oh, someone... Hal Cruttenden doesn't like that at all.

Amelie, says Isy.

Well done. Doubly well done, if it's a low score.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Amelie.

Another low score, look at that, 21.

Not bad at all, Isy.

Well played, Isy. Yeah, played by Audrey Tautou in...

I can't remember the name of the film.

There she is, bottom row there.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

-Hal, welcome back.

-Lovely to be back.

-Welcome back.

I mean, coming back as a champion, you must feel the pressure there.

Yeah, you do feel the pressure but I'm going to

-blame Justin if we lose.

-OK, fair enough. Hal,

you have done the Royal Variety Show not once but twice.

-Yes.

-I have to say I have only done it once. And there were

three of us doing it. Terrifying.

It is, it is the scariest show, I think.

-Why is it so scary?

-I think it's scary cos comics do really crash

-and burn on it.

-I...

-Look at how he's avoiding looking at me.

No, but did you find it...?

Because you're going on after musicians, or acrobats,

or something else, and, suddenly, you go on and I think,

for stand-ups anyway, that first minute is usually quite quiet

-until they relax.

-Yeah, when they are sort of leading

juggling zebras off as you come on.

And it's the idea that if you die,

you're then going to have to meet the Royals after going, "Oh"

-"that was dreadful."

-Who did you meet?

-Who were your Royals?

-Well, I met the Queen and Prince Philip

in 2009, and Prince Charles and Camilla in 2013.

Good stuff. Now, then, Hal, who would you like to go for?

Quite a lot of youngsters might not know and I think this is the right

name cos I'm not sure myself,

Axel Foley.

Axel Foley, says Hal.

Axel Foley. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Axel Foley.

-Oh, thank God.

-It's right.

Oh, look at that! 11.

Judiciously chosen, sir.

11 for Axel Foley.

Well played, Hal. Very impressive so far from everyone, good round.

Yeah, played by Eddie Murphy, of course,

in the Beverly Hills Cop trilogy.

We are halfway through the round. Let's take a look at

the scores as they stand. Four, the best score so far, very well done.

Jeremy and Francesca looking very strong on the back of that.

Then up to eight, where we find Sean and Rhona.

11, Hal and Justin.

Isy and Robert on 21.

I mean, you're not way out ahead but, Robert,

we need a really obscure, low-scoring answer from you

to keep you in the game. Best of luck with that.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

So, Justin, remember we're looking for the name of any film character

depicted here on the board behind me.

Justin, there was a rumour going around backstage

that the reason why you've come back on Pointless

was because Richard Osborne blanked you at the Edinburgh Festival.

Yeah, just wanted to say hello, really.

I did that awful thing where he was walking down the street...

Richard's very recognisable, isn't he?

He was striding down the Royal Mile like a colossus.

It's the only way I can stride, Justin.

And I was shouting, "Richard!

"Richard!" And I just did it about five or six times too many.

-Too many.

-"Look at that massive Pointless fan."

Justin's got one of those voices that you ignore in the street,

that's all, do you know what I mean?

He's got a voice that suggests trouble.

That's all. I'm sure I probably had my headphones on...or something.

You didn't.

-Never mind.

-Now, Justin.

-Yeah.

-You're on 11. A nice, low score.

If you can score nine or less, you will avoid being the high-scorers.

I'm going to go for...I'm going to play it safe, I think, oh,

-Tuesday Addams.

-Tuesday Addams, Tuesday Addams, says Justin.

Here's your red line. If you happen to get below that red line,

then you are absolutely safe and sound. You're through

to the next round. Let's see how many of our 100 people

said Tuesday Addams.

Oh, no! Oh, Justin.

Again, I'm afraid that scored you 100 points.

That takes your total up to 111.

Anything could happen, though, in the rest of the round.

-It won't.

-It could.

-Start the car.

Yeah, sorry, Justin, I'll go through the whole board

-at the end of the pass.

-Yeah, yeah.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Robert.

-Hello.

-Robert.

-Yeah.

-Now, officially, we've seen the last of Peep Show.

-We have.

-Officially. Is that really...is that...?

That's it. That is it.

Except if we all make it to 70 and then we might come back

because it might be funny to watch.

Living in the same flat having the same conversations.

Was it very sad, the last episode? Or did you all just run off?

It was sad, it was sad doing the last scenes in the flat

knowing that they were about to burn the set and, you know...

To be fair, they probably did that after every series, I think.

-Yeah.

-Now, Robert.

-Yes.

21 is your score.

89 or less...

-Yes.

-..sees you into Round Two.

Right. I was very grateful for Hal's answer because I was about to name

Eddie Murphy's character in a completely different film.

So that would've been an error.

I'm going to say Ripley.

Robert says Ripley, let's see if that's right.

Here's your red line. If you get below that with Ripley,

you are into the next round. How many of our 100 said Ripley?

It's right and you are through.

13.

13 takes you up to 34.

Yes, Ellen Ripley there, played by Sigourney Weaver,

number five on the list of greatest movie characters of all time,

in the Aliens quadrilogy.

Rhona, welcome back.

-Hi.

-Welcome, it's lovely to have you back.

-It's lovely to be here.

-Oh, listen, I can tell you something

that's going to speed your heart up. You are through to the next round.

It doesn't matter what you score here.

-Oh.

-Now, you grew up in Musselburgh, didn't you?

I grew up in a fishing town of Musselburgh.

Why is it called the "Honest Town" Musselburgh,

-when you drive into it?

-Well...

-The Honest Town.

-The Honest Toun.

-Toun, yes.

-T-O-U-N.

-Yes.

-Because the Earl of Moray was riding through there

and he fell off his horse was taken ill and locals nursed him

back to health and didn't rob him, so it was therefore

that the dignitaries and the aristocracy very kindly

labelled the working people of Musselburgh, the peasants,

as being very honest, and hence it was called the honest toun.

The honest toun.

I went to school there, and I was head girl at the school

cos I was the only one that wasn't pregnant but... Yeah,

I'm just really annoyed with myself cos movies are my thing and...

Come on, you've got it, you've got to have a good answer here, Rhona.

No, I can't, I can't bear what is about to happen to me.

No, I don't want to be the one that says the well-known one

-but I'm going to have to do.

-Say the well-known one,

-you're still through. It doesn't matter.

-So it doesn't matter?

-Doesn't matter.

-Oh, I don't want to cos it's very popular

but I'm going to have to say Inspector Clouseau.

Inspector Clouseau, OK.

Rhona says Inspector Clouseau.

I didn't want to, it's my last resort.

There is no red line for you cos you're already through.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Inspector Clouseau.

99?

59! There you are. 59. Taking your total up to 67.

Sorry about the drama, sorry about the drama.

-Don't worry.

-So, from the Pink Panther films, of course,

-they remade them very, very bad, the remakes.

-Oh, yes, why?

-Steve Martin.

-They WILL do that, won't they?

There we are, thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Francesca. Oh, this has been a tough run to sit through.

-While answer after answer has been taken off your board there.

-I know!

And I subscribed to Empire for 20 years.

-LAUGHTER

-I should know this.

-You should.

-Yeah.

-Now before you answer your question, I want to know this,

you did a tour where you went to the southern hemisphere,

I think this was Australia,

-Malaysia and Singapore and you did 62 dates there.

-I did.

I'm still knackered.

I was going to say, how the hell did you do that?

Oh, you know, it's great doing something you love.

-Yeah.

-People think stand-up is really hard, or sit-down in my case,

but, you know, it's great having a job that you love and that

isn't a proper job and there are no early mornings.

-That's true, that's true.

-And we get paid to insult people. It's great.

That's nice.

Now, Francesca, do you feel like talking us through the rest of the board

-or as many as the rest of the board as you can?

-Yeah, OK. I think

I'm going to go for Wednesday Addams.

Wednesday Addams, says Francesca.

No red line for you, you are already through.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Wednesday Addams.

It's right.

Still right. Still right!

Look at that, 15,

lovely low score there, Justin, that would've been.

19 is your total on podium one.

-Very well done.

-Very well played, Francesca.

Yeah, Wednesday Addams, not Tuesday Addams, Justin.

Sorry. The good news is they do show this show in Australia and yours is

the correct answer out there.

That's the good news. That's a time difference joke for you.

Let's go through the rest of this board, shall we?

At the top there, you have got Rooney Mara as Lisbeth Salander from

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. Would've scored you two points.

Jennifer Lawrence, she plays Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games.

That would've scored you eight.

It's a pointless answer, the next one on the board, from Fargo,

that's Francis McDormand as Marge Gunderson.

Very well done if you said that, it's a pointless answer.

Another pointless answer on the second row there,

that is Javier Bardem as Anton Chigurh, from No Country For Old Men.

Very well done if you said that. Number one on the list,

the best movie character of all time, according to Empire, is Indiana Jones.

-Played by Harrison Ford.

-That's number one?

He was number one. 62 points for him.

And on the third row, we have Grommit.

Top scorer of all, Grommit,

would've scored you 72 points and then Tom Hiddleston playing Loki.

Loki would've scored you 12. Then Ace Ventura,

22 and the only one we haven't done on that bottom row is Woody,

and Woody would've scored you 55.

So the best answers on the board, Marge Gunderson and Anton Chigurh.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our first-round, I'm afraid we have to say goodbye to one of pairs

and that pair is Justin and Hal.

-Oh, Justin.

-Didn't he describe

himself as my friend at the beginning?

That's no longer the case.

Justin, Hal, it's been lovely having you on,

-thank you so much for playing. Justin and Hal, everyone.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

And so, three pairs remain,

obviously, at the end of this round we'll have to say goodbye to another

pair. But good answering, we made it through,

that round got steadily harder, but some nice film knowledge there,

Atticus Finch, Red, Ripley, we had some good solid answers there.

Anyway, best of luck to all three pairs for our next round.

Our category for Round Two this evening is...

RHONA LAUGHS

French Words. Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second. And whoever's going first please step up to the podium.

OK and the question concerns...

..household items in French.

Household items in French.

-Richard.

-On each board we're going to show you six French terms for items

you might find around the house, you need to tell us the English equivalent, please.

There will be 12 in all to have a go at at home, so very best of luck.

OK, so we're looking for the English equivalent of these French household terms and we have got...

HE SPEAKS WITH FRENCH ACCENT

I'll read those one last time.

APPLAUSE Oh, thank you! Oh! Look at that!

Francesca, what would you like to go for?

OK, I'm terrible at French,

but I think une assiette is a plate.

-A plate, says Francesca.

-Yes!

-I'm not sure, but, yes.

-It had better be.

-OK.

Une assiette, surely it's a plate, isn't it?

Let's find out how many people said plate.

It's right.

It's a great answer,

look at that, 18, very well done indeed.

-18 for plate.

-Very well played, Francesca, nice start to the round.

It's hard, this, because you can remember them all vaguely from...

-Yeah.

-..O-level or GCSE.

-But assiette...

-Assiette, it could be anything, right?

-It's a plate.

-It is a plate.

-It's a plate.

-Now, Sean.

Une salle de bain, is that bathroom?

Une salle de bain, bathroom, says Sean.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said bathroom.

It's right.

Well, 18 is what we got for plate,

44 for bathroom.

44. I suppose more people ask where the bathroom is than ask where the plate is, don't they?

Yes, oui, la salle de bain.

Do you know Buckingham Palace has got 78 bathrooms?

-Really?

-That's too many, isn't it?

-Oh, isn't it?

-Are they that dirty?

The corgis, mainly, isn't it?

Now then, Robert.

This board is all yours, fill them in.

-Go through them all.

-Oh.

If you like. You don't have to, you can just pick one.

I was going to say I'd play it safe but actually it's not playing it safe because it's literally the only

one I have a clue about. I would say that une chaise

-is a chair. I think.

-Une chaise, a chair, let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said a chair for une chaise.

It's right, well, 44 is our high score,

WAS our high score.

71 for a chair. APPLAUSE

71 for chair, une chaise, a chair.

A lot better than 100 though, so it's a good one, une chaise.

-How are you on the rest of these?

-I think I'm pretty good.

Oh, really? Un lavabo.

-Is a basin.

-It is a basin, very well done,

that would have scored you 17 points.

-Un berceau.

-I'm slightly unsure about this but I have a feeling

-it's a...

-It's a what?

-It's a carrycot.

-A cradle!

-It's a cradle.

-Very well done, nine points.

-Un lit.

-Is a bed.

-Is a bed.

And that would have scored you 31,

so the best answer on the board there is un berceau.

-Cradle.

-Thank you, there we are, we're halfway through the round,

let's take a look at those scores, 18, that near podium, wonderful,

lovely low scores there, then up to 44, we find Sean and Rhona,

and up to 71, Robert and Isy.

-I think it's this, this podium.

-Yeah.

-Oh, do you think that?

-Yeah, it's the podium of doom.

-Yeah.

Isy, we need a low score from you, simple as that.

But you get first dibs on the new board so that's fine,

let's hope you find a nice low-scoring one there. Back down the line now,

can the second players please step up to the podium.

OK, let's put six more French household items on the board and here they are. We have...

HE SPEAKS WITH FRENCH ACCENT

So, Isy, a nice board for you?

Erm, yes, yes, it's OK.

I failed A-level French, I got an N.

That's OK, A-level, that you WENT to A-level suggests...

I did, against the advice of the school,

so I can remember two of those and I'm going to go for the one that I

think is the most obscure,

which is douche, which I think is shower.

Douche, shower, says Isy.

No red line for you, you're the highest scorers.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said shower for douche.

43.

43 of our 100, which means 114 is your total.

Well played, Isy, you might have saved yourself there.

The Americans use douche to mean unpleasant person, don't they?

OK, thank you very much indeed.

Rhona, you are on 44, the high-scorers are behind you on 114,

so 69 or less gets you through to the head-to-head, Rhona.

Do you know I think I'm probably wrong, it might be un verre,

I think is a glass.

A glass, says Rhona, un verre, a glass.

-Is it?

-There is your red line.

-FRANCESCA:

-Don't look at me!

-I'm scared!

-See if you can get below that red line.

-I'm scared!

Let's see how many of our 100 people said a glass.

RHONA GASPS

It's right.

And you're into the head-to-head.

26 for glass.

Taking your total up to 70.

-Well played, Rhona, safely through.

-Merci!

Glass slippers is allegedly a mistranslation of fur slippers,

-the Cinderella story.

-There you go.

OK, now Jeremy.

Do I need to play it safe?

Well, you don't really, 95 or less sees you through.

If you wanted you could talk through that whole board,

-all the ones that haven't been filled in.

-I don't know rideau.

Parapluie is an umbrella.

-Couteau is a knife. Lampe I think is a lamp.

-Ooh!

I'm guessing. So I'd say the toughest one to get is

a knife, couteau.

Un couteau, Inspector Couteau. LAUGHTER

There is your red line coming in now.

If you get below that with couteau, you are through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said knife.

It is absolutely right.

It gets you through very comfortably indeed.

Couteau still going down, lovely low score.

Well done, 15.

33 is your total.

Well played, Jeremy,

talked us through the board nicely as well there and you chose the best

one of the ones you knew. You are right about parapluie, it's an umbrella.

34 points for that.

Une lampe is a lamp, it would have been cruel if it wasn't,

a big scorer though, would have scored you 87.

And do you know un rideau?

-Is it a curtain?

-It is a curtain, where you draw a close to this round,

13 points, best answer on the board.

Very nice, thank you very much, Richard,

so at the end of our second round the pair we're saying goodbye to,

I'm afraid it is that far podium. I don't know what it is over there.

Because we have to say goodbye to you, Isy and Robert. Will you come back, please, again and play

because it's been lovely having you here. Brilliant contestants, Isy and Robert.

But for Rhona and Sean, Jeremy and Francesca,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

Very many congratulations, Jeremy and Francesca, Rhona and Sean,

you are now one step closer to the final and a chance to play for our

jackpot, which currently stands at £2,500.

APPLAUSE

So this is the point where we have to decide who goes through to the final

to play for that jackpot and we do it by making you go head-to-head.

We pit you against each other but you can confer before you give your answers, which is much nicer.

You play as a team from here on in.

First pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Very best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

And here is your first question.

And the first question concerns baby animals.

Baby animals, Richard.

We're going to show you five pictures of baby animals now,

but we're going to give you certain letters from the names of these

animals, you tell us what the animals are, please, so five pictures of baby animals.

-What are the animals?

-Let's reveal our five baby animals and here they are.

We have...

-AUDIENCE:

-Awww!

Look!

-AUDIENCE:

-Awww!

-That's not real!

-It is.

-AUDIENCE:

-Awww!

-Look!

-AUDIENCE:

-Awww!

-Ah.

Yeah...

-AUDIENCE:

-Awww!

-Oh, bless.

-Ah, there we are - five baby animals.

Now Jeremy and Francesca,

you've been our low scorers throughout the show so you will go first.

You know what D is, don't you?

I know what three of them are.

HE WHISPERS

(Yeah, me too.)

OK, I think we know what B, C and D are, and what are we going for?

D is an opossum.

An opossum. D, an opossum say Jeremy and Francesca.

Now then, Rhona and Sean,

do you want to talk us through the rest of that board?

-Go ahead, Sean.

-LAUGHTER

A begins with G.

B doesn't look like it's going to last a day.

C is a sloth.

-Yeah.

-And E is a penguin, so...

It's not a penguin.

Let's go for sloth then. C.

OK, you are going to go for sloth, so we have opossum and we have sloth.

Jeremy and Francesca said opossum for D, let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

20.

Rhona and Sean have gone for sloth.

-Awww.

-Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said sloth.

71.

Very well done, Jeremy and Francesca, after one question you're up 1-0.

Which of those do you think is the cutest?

-The panda.

-I didn't know B was a panda, by the way.

-It looks like a baby dinosaur.

-That's a guess!

It's so tiny. No, it IS a panda.

I didn't get it but lots of people did, it would have scored you...

Oh, look, 58 points.

Now, do you know what A is?

-Groundhog.

-Groundhog is exactly right, Jeremy, very well played.

It would have scored you 18 points.

And E, not a penguin,

-that is a pangolin.

-Ah!

Pangolin. 11 of our 100 knew it was, very well done to that 11,

so the best answer on the board there is the pangolin.

The highest answer on the board is sloth.

Thank you very much, Richard. So, here comes your second question.

Now, Rhona and Sean, you get to go first this time,

but you have to win to stay in the game. So, best of luck.

Our second question concerns criminal records.

-Criminal records.

-It was a long time ago!

-LAUGHTER

-Rhona, it wasn't that long ago.

-Four.

-We're going to play you five clips of songs now,

all of which have titles relating to crime or the law.

We're looking for the artist who recorded any of these songs, please,

so the artist behind one of these five songs.

OK, so let's play our five songs and here they come.

We have got... A.

REGGAE MUSIC PLAYS

-MAN SINGS:

-# All around in my old town

# They tryin to track me down... #

Here's B.

POP MUSIC INTRO

# Cha! #

Here's C.

DRUMS PLAY

ELECTRIC GUITAR INTRO

Here's D.

CLASSIC ROCK PLAYS

And here's E.

-FEMALE VOCALIST:

-# I know I know I know I know I know I know I know

# About your kind... #

OK, there we are.

Five criminal records, as it were.

What would you like to go for, Rhona and Sean?

We'll go for D, Thin Lizzy.

Thin Lizzy for D, Thin Lizzy for D.

Now, Jeremy and Francesca.

Well, Michael Jackson was never actually convicted, so...

LAUGHTER

I think, well... I was going to go for that,

I was going to go for that, I'll go for C, The Clash.

C, The Clash.

So we have D, Thin Lizzy and C, The Clash.

Rhona and Sean said that D was Thin Lizzy.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Thin Lizzy.

It's right.

Oh, that's good! 11 is good.

APPLAUSE

11 for Thin Lizzy.

Jeremy and Francesca, meanwhile, have gone for The Clash for C.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it if it is.

The Clash.

It's right.

23 for The Clash.

APPLAUSE

Close.

But Rhona and Sean, very well done, you're back in the game.

After two questions, it's 1-all.

Yeah, the best two answers on the board.

Well played, both teams. They could not have beaten Thin Lizzy.

Jailbreak, of course, and I Fought The Law by The Clash,

written by one of The Crickets, one of Buddy Holly's Crickets.

-Really?

-Yeah.

Let's listen to A.

-That, of course...

-Bob Marley.

Bob Marley, I Shot The Sheriff.

Would have scored you 78.

Let's have a little listen to B.

Of course, Michael Jackson. Big scorer, though,

Would have scored 84 points,

Smooth Criminal.

And E...

-Murder On The Dance Floor.

-Yeah.

-By Sophie Ellis Bextor.

And it would have scored you 48.

There we are. Thank you very much.

Indeed, so it all comes down to a third question.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final and plays for our jackpot,

so best of luck to both pairs.

-Good luck.

-Good luck.

Our third question is all about...

US airports and their IATA codes.

-Hurray!

-Of course!

-US airports and their IATA codes.

Oh, my...!

We're going to show you five IATA codes now for American airports.

You just need to tell us which cities these airports serve, please,

so which cities the airports serve.

The team that comes up with the most obscure answer is going through to

play for the jackpot, so very best of luck to everybody.

OK, thanks very much indeed, so here are the IATA codes.

And we have...

I'll read those all again.

There we are. Jeremy and Francesca will go first.

I was hoping this would come up!

I think there's only one that I can even guess, it's Phoenix.

-OK, you're going to take PHX, Phoenix.

-Yeah.

There we go, Phoenix, the guessable one has gone.

Rhona and Sean, do some...

I'm a bit embarrassed about this,

because I'm not good at geography,

but I don't know, is HNL,

is Honolulu in...is that Hawaiian sort of thing?

Yeah, you're going to say Honolulu.

OK, so we have Phoenix and we have Honolulu.

Just a guess, guess, guess!

Jeremy and Francesca went for Phoenix for PHX.

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

Oh-ee! 83.

83 for Phoenix.

It's funny, yes, it's meant to be slightly in your favour

if you go first, but this is one of those ones where actually

chewing slightly softens the toffee, as it were.

You have gone for HNL, Honolulu, let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Honolulu.

It's right, Honolulu, and it wins you the point, look at that.

What?!

There you are. 37.

APPLAUSE

Which means very well done, Rhona and Sean,

after three questions you are through to the final 2-1.

-What?

-It's sort of like a crossword clue, some of those things.

We've done it before - it's been easier, like JFK and LAX,

stuff like this. This was a much harder board.

The hardest one of all is the top one because there's actually no clue

there, that's O'Hare Airport in Chicago.

-Ah!

-That would have scored you five points.

Some people will have worked out this next one.

-Florida?

-Fort Lauderdale.

-Fort Lauderdale! For heavens' sake!

Seven points. And this last one, you can work out, people will have done

-at home, but it's Salt Lake City.

-Oh, there you are.

That would have scored 17 points.

So the best answer on the board is Chicago,

very well done if you said that at home.

That was a tough board. Really tough, really tough.

Well, thank you very much, indeed.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round -

I'm so sorry, Jeremy and Francesca, it is you.

It's been lovely having you on the show. Thank you so much for playing.

Brilliant play all the way through, Jeremy and Francesca, come again.

APPLAUSE

But for Sean and Rhona, it's now time for our Pointless final.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Rhona and Sean, you've seen off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless Trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot, and at the end of

today's show the jackpot is standing at £2,500.

APPLAUSE

You see, there you are, just through dogged,

dogged perseverance, you have made it through to the final round.

This round gets a little bit tougher but maybe not,

if it falls nicely for you.

You get to choose your category from four we put up on the board, and we

have to hope there's something you quite like the look of.

This is what today's selection looks like.

Sean and I feel fairly confident about Woody Allen films,

but, you know, mildly, and, yeah.

Shall we? Woody Allen films. Woody Allen films, Richard.

Let's do it, shall we? Three different questions here,

we're looking for anybody credited with appearing in any of

the following three films, please.

Anyone credited with appearing in Annie Hall.

Anyone credited with appearing in Hannah And Her Sisters.

Or anyone credited with appearing in Vicky Cristina Barcelona,

so anyone according to IMDB who appeared in Annie Hall,

Hannah And Her Sisters or Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

Very, very best of luck.

There we are, thank you very much. Now, as always,

you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers,

and all you need to win the jackpot for your charities is for just one

of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-Yes.

Are you ready? OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are, your time starts now.

-Well...

-I would say the most obscure one in Annie Hall would probably be

maybe the... I think Marshall McLuhan actually played himself

in a cinema queue in the argument about the film,

so I'd put him in there.

Would Michael Caine in Hannah And Her Sisters,

-because people don't expect him to be in that?

-No, he was a lead

and he got an Oscar for it so I would go for Max Von Sydow,

who was... "Have you seen the world out there?

"I've watched television all night."

You know? And the lover of...the older lover that stayed indoors.

-Right.

-That's him, isn't it?

-It's how you pronounce his name, isn't it?

-Yes!

-Is it?

I mean, yeah. And I couldn't say Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

-Because I've forgotten it.

-I can do two from any of the characters.

Right, OK, so...

-What was the...

-I also think...

-There was a young woman in Annie Hall.

-What?

-What do you mean, his daughter. No...

-Her dad was famous.

-What?

In Annie Hall.

-OK. OK.

-OK, that's your time up and I need your three answers.

Marshall McLuhan playing himself in Annie Hall.

Marshall McLuhan, OK, in Annie Hall.

Max Von Sydow in Hannah And Her Sisters.

Max Von Sydow.

-You're saying Dianne Wiest?

-Dianne Wiest, Hannah And Her Sisters.

And Dianne Wiest, OK, very good.

Of those three which is your best shot at a pointless answer,

-do you reckon?

-Max Von Sydow.

-Max Von Sydow goes last.

-Least likely to be pointless?

-Well, Marshall McLuhan is,

but I'm kind of starting to think maybe that wasn't Marshall McLuhan!

Marshall McLuhan. Let's put those up on the board and here they are.

We've got...

If you were to win the jackpot, what charities are you playing for?

-Sean, let's come to you.

-Shelter.

-For Shelter, very good.

-Rhona, how about you?

-To the Macmillan cancer nurses.

Excellent, very well done.

APPLAUSE

Two fantastic charities, three fantastic answers on the board,

surely one of those will win the jackpot for your charities.

Fingers crossed. Your first answer was Marshall McLuhan.

In this case, we were looking for the cast members of Annie Hall.

Remember, only one of these answers has to be pointless for you to win

that jackpot of £2,500 for your charities.

Let's find out, is Marshall McLuhan right,

how many people said it if it is? Is it pointless?

It's right.

Marshall McLuhan taking us down through the '40s.

If this goes all the way to zero, you leave with £2,500 to go to your

charities. Into single figures, down it goes, still going down,

still going down, you've done it!

Fantastic! Very well done, indeed! RHONA CHEERS

Oh, very well done, fantastic.

Come on!

Marshall McLuhan!

APPLAUSE

Very well done, congratulations, Marshall McLuhan was a pointless

-answer, which means you go home with that jackpot...

-Oh!

..of £2,500 for your charities.

He was indeed in that cinema queue. Also in that cinema queue,

very early role, Sigourney Weaver, who was also a pointless answer.

-Come on!

-APPLAUSE

Max von Sydow, absolutely, is in Hannah And Her Sisters.

Also a pointless answer.

Come on!

APPLAUSE

Dianne Wiest scored two points. Come on, Rhona.

-AUDIENCE:

-Aww!

Great work. Let's take a look at the pointless answers,

see if you got any more of these at home.

So let's start with Annie Hall.

Christopher Walken, a pointless answer, Jeff Goldblum.

Paul Simon would have been a pointless answer, Sigourney Weaver.

Every single actor in that film apart from Diane Keaton,

Tony Roberts and Carol Kane, every other actor was a pointless answer,

well done if you got one of those.

Let's move on to Hannah And Her Sisters.

John Turturro was pointless, Julia Louis Dreyfus is a pointless answer,

Maureen O'Sullivan, there's Max von Sydow.

In fact, everybody in that film apart from Mia Farrow,

Michael Caine, Dianne Wiest, Barbara Hershey and Carrie Fisher,

everybody else is a pointless answer.

Now, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, a few pointless answers here,

Patricia Clarkson, Kevin Dunn, Chris Messina, Carrie Preston.

Everyone in that film was pointless other than

Penelope Cruz, Scarlet Johannson, Rebecca Hall and Javier Bardem.

Very well done if you got a pointless answer at home.

Congratulations, absolutely smashing the jackpot round today.

I want to take all my clothes off!

And that's all we've got time for today.

LAUGHTER

Well, thanks once again to our winning players, Rhona and Sean,

who go away with today's jackpot of £2,500 for their charities.

Very well done, indeed.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time, when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to

the test on Pointless. Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

-And it's goodbye from me.

Goodbye.

APPLAUSE