Episode 3 Pointless Celebrities

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong

and welcome to a celebrity edition of Pointless,

the quiz show that puts obscure knowledge to the test,

featuring classic British sitcom stars.

Let's meet today's Pointless celebrities.

Couple number one.

My name's Craig Charles, and this is Danny John-Jules, and we're from the cast of Red Dwarf.

CHEERING

Couple number two.

I'm Brendan O'Carroll. This is Jennifer Gibney.

Jennifer plays Mrs Brown's wife...

er...daughter...in the series Mrs Brown.

I play Mrs Brown, not usually with the moustache, otherwise I'd look like my mother.

ALEXANDER CHUCKLES

Jenny is also my wife, so that gets quite confusing at home.

LAUGHTER

CHEERING

And our third couple.

I'm Jeffrey Holland. This is Su Pollard

and we're here representing Hi-de-Hi,

You Rang, M'Lord?

-Oh, Doctor Beeching! How many more have we done?

-Several thousand.

-Seems like it!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And our fourth couple.

Hello. I'm Nick Conway and this is Jean Boht,

and we were both in the BBC sitcom Bread.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And these, ladies and gentlemen, are our contestants.

Thanks very much indeed.

We'll be finding out more about all of you throughout the show.

There's only one person left for me to introduce.

He puts the chic into geek. It's my Pointless friend- it's Richard. I know!

Hiya.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-"He puts the chic into geek"?!

-I know!

-That doesn't mean anything.

-I know.

-Why did you say it?

Because you're an actor and you literally say whatever is in front of you?

Yes.

Well, that's fair enough. How exciting is this?

-What an amazing line-up.

-Amazing.

It's going to be great, and unlike some other shows, we don't dumb our questions down for our specials.

There's going to be some real toughies here today.

Some good ones, but some toughies.

We won't go easy on anybody.

Let's get started, shall we?

Thanks, Richard. All our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants need to find the obscure answers those 100 people didn't get.

Everyone's looking to find a pointless answer,

which none of our 100 people gave. Each time that happens,

we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Now, as today's show is a celebrity special,

and each of our celebrities are playing for a nominated charity,

we start off with a jackpot of £2,500.

CHEERING

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

In this round, I'll take an answer from each of you, and there's no conferring.

Whichever pair has the highest score at the end will be eliminated, so try and make sure that's not you.

Our first category today is...

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many...

Stars of the Ocean's trilogy. Richard.

We're looking for the name of any actor or actress

who received an acting credit for any of the Ocean's trilogy -

Ocean's 11 from 2001, then Ocean's 12 and Ocean's 13.

So not the '60s Ocean's 11.

So Ocean's 11, 12 or 13 - any actor who appeared in any of those, please.

We won't accept anyone who played themselves, like Oprah Winfrey or Bruce Willis.

Very, very best of luck.

You all look a bit nervous. Are you a bit nervous?

-SU:

-I want to go!

Thanks very much! Now then,

Danny and Craig.

Danny, you've stepped up first. You're here representing Red Dwarf.

-I am indeed.

-In which, of course, you played Cat.

-Yeah.

-How many series have you made?

-We've made ten now, in 25 years.

Wow! OK, what's going to be a good round for you on Pointless, Danny?

This is quite a good question for me.

Because, obviously, I've got to make as least as possible,

and that's what I usually do in quiz shows!

Did you watch all of these films?

No, but I have good memory of the people in it.

So, any actor from any of the Ocean's films.

-Ving Rhames.

-Ving Rhames.

-No?

-Craig doesn't think so.

Ving Rhames, says Danny.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Ving Rhames.

AUDIENCE GROANS

Oh, bad luck, Danny!

Bad luck. I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

which scores you the maximum of 100 points.

We'll just get our coats now!

Listen, the round is young.

Sorry, Danny. Ving Rhames, famously Marsellus Wallace in Pulp Fiction,

but not in any of the Ocean's films, I'm afraid.

I know who it is now.

Don't get knocked out, will you? My son is such a big Red Dwarf fan.

He'd be absolutely gutted.

You know what? You're going to let down a 12-year-old boy if you get knocked out.

It's all on me now, isn't it?!

It is rather, Craig.

But you know what? Hasn't it always been, in a way?

I was trying to be too clever by getting someone really obscure.

Yeah, not so obscure they're wrong!

Danny, anything can happen. Anything can happen.

Jenny. Very warm welcome.

Thanks very much, Alexander.

A warm welcome to the show. You're here on behalf of Mrs Brown's Boys, of course.

I am indeed.

-You play Cathy Brown.

-I do.

-You're filming at the moment.

-Yes. We're in the middle of filming.

Only a couple of episodes left to go, so very exciting time.

Lovely. Excellent. And are you a fan of the Ocean's films?

Mm...

I've seen one of them.

I haven't seen them all.

-Well, Danny's taken a bit of pressure off you.

-Little bit.

Thanks, Danny!

-Jenny.

-OK.

Julia Roberts.

Julia Roberts, says Jenny.

Let's see if Julia Roberts is right and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 said Julia Roberts.

Good answer, Jenny. Look at that - 21.

Very well done indeed.

APPLAUSE

Well played, Jenny. Very good start. She's in Ocean's 11 and Ocean's 12.

Now then, Jeff.

Jeff.

Yes.

Here representing just countless Croft and Perry sitcoms.

Excellent sitcoms, every one of them.

I'm not bad for 108, am I?

Spike in Hi-de-Hi, I'd say most memorably.

Now, do you watch Pointless, Jeff?

-I do.

-Is there a round in Pointless that you watch and you think,

"Oh, I'd kill in that round!"

Sometimes it comes up. The one that I don't like, of course, is sport.

I don't know anything about sport whatsoever,

-so that would be no use to me whatsoever.

-OK.

How about the Ocean's films? Ocean's 11, 12...

I've seen a couple of these.

And I'm going to have a stab at... It's sort of 50/50 guesswork.

-But I think Joe Pesci.

-Joe Pesci.

-Yeah.

-Jeff is saying Joe Pesci.

Let's see if Joe Pesci's right and if it is, how many of our 100 people said Joe Pesci.

AUDIENCE GROANS

Oh, bad luck, Jeff!

-That feels good, doesn't it, Danny?

-Yeah!

Oh!

Unfortunately, Joe Pesci, an incorrect answer,

which means you score the maximum of 100 points.

-Richard.

-Sorry, Jeff. He wasn't in any films at all between 1998 and 2006, Joe Pesci.

Not in the Ocean's films. He was in Casino, which might be where you got confused.

Yeah, but look at Danny and Craig!

You know you're supposed to hide your glee, don't you?

They can handle it!

-Thanks very much. Now then, Nick.

-Hi.

Billy Boswell in Bread. What are you up to these days, Nick?

These days, I run a theatre school.

I run one in Hornchurch. We're doing Bugsy Malone at the moment.

-Oh, yes.

-A great show. Loads of kids do it.

-And in Manchester, I've got a theatre school as well.

-Now, Nick.

-Yeah.

-We've had two fallers so far.

-It seemed like a pretty good round, this.

-I'm a really big film fan,

but not of the really big Hollywood blockbusters.

I like much more world cinema type things,

although when it said film trilogy, I was hoping for The Godfather, but it's this.

I think I watched the first one.

I've got a feeling Brad Pitt was in it.

-I've got a feeling.

-Nick is hoping it's Brad Pitt.

Let's see if Brad Pitt was in the Ocean's trilogy and if he was, let's see how many people remembered.

It's right.

42. There we go.

Well done!

APPLAUSE

-42.

-Yeah, pretty big score, but with two teams on 100,

exactly the right thing to do. He's in all three of the films.

I remember Brad Pitt being in it, because he's eating in every single scene.

Ocean's 11, he eats in every single scene.

I think he went through a phase of eating in pretty much every scene he ever filmed.

There are a lot of films with him just going...

I think someone must have said to him,

"You're a much better actor with a sandwich."

LAUGHTER

-There are some people for whom that is the case.

-Sandwich actors.

-Yeah.

You see, when I've seen you act eating,

it's not so good, is it?

Although when you're not eating, it's not brilliant.

That's your issue. But perhaps you'll find a thing.

Well, we're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at the scores, as they stand.

21 very much the best score of that pass.

Jenny and Brendan looking particularly strong.

Up to 42, where we find Nick and Jean.

Then all the way up to 100,

where we find Jeff and Su

and Danny and Craig.

So, Su and Craig,

you'll have to tussle it out between you

to see who stays with us and who leaves at the end of the round.

We'll come back down the line.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, we're looking for the names of any actors from the Ocean's trilogy.

OK, so, Jean, welcome to the show. It's lovely to have you here.

-Nellie Boswell for six years - over 70 episodes.

-Yes.

Great matriarch of British sitcom.

Well, we did a big tour with it.

We were in the West End with it as well.

So it was a long, long haul.

Jean, we're looking for actors and actresses in the Ocean's trilogy.

I can't think of one, male or female, who was in the Ocean's trilogy.

-I honestly can't. Sorry.

-Just name a movie star.

-Anthony Hopkins.

-Jean is going to say Anthony Hopkins.

Well, the high scorers at the moment are Craig and Danny and Su and Jeff on 100.

You're on 42, which means you want to be scoring 57 or less.

There's your red line. Let's see if Anthony Hopkins is right

and if it is, let's see how many people said Anthony Hopkins.

AUDIENCE GROANS

Bad luck. I'm afraid Anthony Hopkins is an incorrect answer,

which means you score the maximum of 100 points.

You're in good company, though.

That takes your total up to 142.

Sorry, Jean. We've had a lot of 100s. Anthony Hopkins not in it.

-Now then, Su.

-Oh, yes, dear.

At the moment, Jean and Nick are the high scorers on 142.

-You're on 100.

-Right.

-Which means if you can score 41 or less, you're through to the next round.

-OK.

-Did you watch any of the Ocean's trilogy?

-No.

It doesn't really appeal to me,

but I read about certain things in articles,

and you might read something like, "What's on in Hollywood today?"

or you might read a magazine and you say,

"Oh, so-and-so's in that one," so I kind of glean my information from that, in a way.

What are you going to go for?

I'm going to go - I hope this is correct -

Minnie Driver.

Minnie Driver, says Su. Here comes your red line.

If you can get below that red line with Minnie Driver,

you're through to the next round.

Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many people said Minnie Driver if it is.

Oh, no!

Oh, dear!

Oh, bad luck, Su!

Well, it's worse than bad luck - it's a disaster!

I've got to go home!

-Maybe not.

-Maybe.

Anything can happen. Unfortunately, that's an incorrect answer.

That scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 200.

We'll never recover!

Well, hang on. Wait and see.

Wait and see!

Craig, do your worst, darling.

Please do.

Su, will you come and do me a favour?

-What's that?

-Come over here and do me a favour.

-Yeah.

What have I got to come here for?

-Will you just do that for us, just once?

-I don't know what she does.

I was Peggy Ollerenshaw!

-Yeah, but you did it a couple of times.

-This one?

-WELSH ACCENT:

-Hello, campers!

PLAYS HI-DE-HI JINGLE

Yeah!

APPLAUSE

SU SHRIEKS

Thank you.

Thank you.

Aw!

That's the best bit - I've scored! At least I've scored something.

LAUGHTER

Listen, Brendan. Welcome to Pointless, Brendan. It's lovely to have you here.

Well, you welcome me to the studio, but I've been a Pointless fan since day one. I watch it every day.

Most of the time because I'm off work,

which is called unemployed.

That can't be true. You're the most prolific writer and performer I know.

You've written countless things - you've written films, you've written novels...

Thank you.

You're busy performing at the moment. You've got stage plays and all sorts of stuff coming up.

Yeah. Listen, if it gets any better, it'll be embarrassing.

LAUGHTER

Before we go any further, great news.

You're in the second round.

Yes, considering the situation, I'm thinking about going for Prince Philip.

I might just take a safe point on George Clooney.

George Clooney, says Brendan. Let's see if George Clooney is right.

There's no red line for you, for the best reason - you're already through.

George Clooney. How many people said it?

58 for George Clooney.

Takes your total up to 79.

Very solid, Brendan. He's in all three. He plays Danny Ocean.

Brendan, presumably a lot of people don't recognise you immediately when they meet you?

I certainly hope not!

We had a great incident in Liverpool once,

playing in the Royal Court Theatre.

We were standing at the bar, waiting for a drink.

A guy came over to the bar, stretched across me, and said to Jenny,

"Great show - you were fantastic!"

So, automatically, without thinking about it, I said, "Thanks very much."

He looked at me as if... you know.

I never realised he didn't recognise us. "I play Mrs Brown."

He said, "Get lost, mate - I've met her!"

And walked off!

LAUGHTER

"Well, tell her I was asking for her!"

Craig. Now...

-What?

-The high scorers are Su and Jeff on 200.

You're on 100.

Remember, you can have any actor in any of the Ocean films.

Bernie Mac. I think he'd be a pointless answer, wouldn't he?

The black stand-up comic was in it.

He played a security guard.

But Don Cheadle had the world's worst Cockney accent in it.

Definitely Don Cheadle was in it.

So I'll play safe and go for Don Cheadle,

but...

-I kind of want to go for Bernie Mac.

-No!

-But if it's wrong...

-Money!

Don Cheadle.

OK. Don Cheadle. Now, if you can score 99 or less,

you are through to the next round. There's your red line.

Don Cheadle. Is he in it?

Yes, he is. Very well done, Craig. You're through.

-DANNY:

-Wow!

Oh, it almost is!

Two.

It's a cracking answer. Very well done.

Takes your total up to 102.

APPLAUSE

If I'd said Bernie Mac, how would that have done?

Bernie Mac actually would have scored you more. Would have scored you four points.

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers, see if anyone got any of these at home.

Cherry Jones, Ellen Barkin,

Jared Harris - perhaps better known for Mad Men -

is in the Ocean's 11 trilogy.

Julian Sands, the British actor. Lennox Lewis plays a boxer.

He doesn't play himself, but he plays a boxer,

as does Wladimir Klitschko. Both of those pointless answers.

Margaret Travolta. She is John Travolta's sister.

Wow.

Robbie Coltrane plays a snitch in the movie.

Shaobo Qin and Vincent Cassel, the French actor.

All of those pointless answers, so very well done if you said any of those.

Let's look at the biggest answers - the ones most of our 100 people said.

Julia Roberts, 21. We've heard all three of them, as you can imagine.

Brad Pitt, 42, and George Clooney was top of the shop with 58 points.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our first round, the losing pair with a high score of 200 are Su and Jeff.

SU GROANS

-We've had a good time, though, haven't we, babe?

-It's been fun.

-Yes, it's been really nice.

-It's been lovely having you on the show.

Thank you so much for playing. So sorry to say goodbye.

Think of what fun we'd have had in the next round. What's the next round?

The next round is...the cast of Hi-de-Hi.

LAUGHTER

-You'd have been good in that!

-Yeah, you'd have been good.

So we've got to go. Do we get any money?

For the charity?

LAUGHTER

No, Su, I'm really sorry - the high score means you've lost.

-Oh, of course - you only get that bit at the end!

-Yeah!

Oh, go on, give us your money, Craig.

He hasn't got any either!

Su and Jeff, thank you so much for playing.

It's been lovely having you on the show. Su and Jeff!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's time for round two.

Sadly, at the end of this round, another pair will have to leave us.

I'm trying to think which pair that will be.

Brendan and Jenny, you were fantastic.

Fantastic!

Craig and Danny,

phew - just!

-I tell you!

-Top answer, though.

Just. But it was all right, all good.

And Jean and Nick... Jean!

Did you think your number was up there?

You know...I'll try not to let you down.

-My favourite son.

-You never let me down, Mam!

Very best of luck to all three pairs.

Now, our category for round two is...

-That's us out, then!

-Body and mind.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

Whoever's going to go first, please step up to the podium.

Our question concerns...

Phobias. Richard.

On each pass, we're going to list six phobias on that board.

You just have to tell us what are they phobias of, please.

Give us a nice obscure answer, you'll score fewer points,

but an incorrect answer will score you 100 points.

There's going to be 12 phobias in all to have a go at at home. Good luck.

Thanks very much. So, we are looking for what each of these phobias are a fear of.

And here's our first board. We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Six phobias.

Danny.

Do you suffer from any of these?

No. Just...

working out what they are.

-Questionophobia.

-Yes!

Arachnophobia.

-Spiders.

-A fear of spiders, says Danny,

for arachnophobia. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people knew that answer.

Oh!

AUDIENCE GASPS

APPLAUSE

Oh! That's a big one.

88 people out of our 100 got that.

Yes, fully 12 better than your last score, Danny,

so it's... You're showing real signs of improvement!

Pushing the boat out!

Exactly. Arachnophobia - fear of spiders.

One of the most common phobias as well.

They say 50% of women and 10% of men show some symptoms.

10%? I think it's more than 10% of men.

50% of women admit to it, and 10% of men admit to it!

Jenny.

-Me?!

-Yeah, you.

No, Jenny at the back there(!)

-Jenny.

-OK.

-Do you have any phobias?

Loads.

I've fear of spiders, rats, mice, snakes, you name it.

-Not very good at all.

-Comedians.

Terrified! Terrified of comedians, yes.

Now, Jenny, we want to know what these phobias are.

OK.

Um...

Pyrophobia - fear of fire.

Pyrophobia, fear of fire, says Jenny.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said that.

48. Very well done, Jenny.

Good!

Pyrophobia, a fear of fire.

Well played, Jenny. Very good score of 48.

I think pyrophobia is fair enough.

-Yeah.

-Yeah!

You probably should be a little bit scared of fire.

Can I just point out that Jenny's father is a fire chief?

Is he?

So, you know...

-I don't think that's actually relevant!

-You're on my team!

OK, I'm sorry. Divorce me!

Now then, Jean.

So we want to know what these phobias are a fear of.

I think I'll have agoraphobia.

And what is that a fear of?

I think it's to do with going out.

OK.

A fear of going out, says Jean.

Agoraphobia - a fear of going out.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many people knew that.

-Absolutely right.

-Well done!

70.

Very well done, Jean.

Well played, Jean. Yeah, fear of going out or outside spaces,

going out of doors.

Let's take a look at the rest of them. The other three are harder.

We've picked off the obvious ones there.

Trypanophobia?

It's a fear of injections.

Fear of needles and injections.

Snoop Dogg has got trypanophobia.

I think that's another one everyone presumably must have.

-No, I'm all right.

-Really?

-Yeah, I'm not too bad.

Astraphobia?

It's the most common phobia in the US. They did a study last year.

It's a fear of thunder and lightning.

A lot of humans get it. A lot of animals get it as well.

And ailurophobia?

Danny, you should get that one.

Mirrors.

LAUGHTER

-Is that the first thing...? "What's my defining characteristic?"

-Dogs.

Cats.

Absolutely right.

And that would have scored 85 points less than what you scored.

-Wow!

-Three points.

Ailurophobia.

Thanks very much, Richard. We're halfway through the round. Let's see the scores.

48 again! Look at that. Jenny and Brendan.

Looking very strong indeed. The best score of the pass.

Then up to 70, where we find Jean and Nick,

up to 88, where we find Danny and Craig.

So, Craig, once again, a little bit of pressure on you.

Big time!

-You know what you've got to do.

-I spend my life saving this fella!

Very best of luck. We're going to come back down the line.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, we're going to put six more phobias on the board,

and here they come. We have got...

I'll read those all again.

Now, remember, we are looking for what each of these phobias

is a fear of.

Obviously, Nick, you're going to try and find the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

I'm familiar with one of the words.

I can guess the top one,

but I don't want to go for a guess.

The high score at the moment is Craig and Danny's score of 88.

You're on 70.

So you don't want to go too obvious.

Well, claustrophobia is the fear of, um...

-small spaces, being in closed spaces.

-OK.

Claustrophobia - a fear of confined spaces, you're going to say.

OK, let's see if that's right.

Here is your red line. If you get below that, you're through to the head-to-head.

Claustrophobia - how many people got that?

Ooh, it's another high one, Nick!

Another high one.

That takes your total up to 155.

85 being your score there. Richard.

Yeah, big score, but at least it's not 100.

About 10% of people supposedly suffer from claustrophobia.

-I'm a bit claustrophobic.

-I'm a bit claustrophobic.

-But I'm quite tall,

so there are more confined spaces for me than for most people.

For example, in here, you have to take a few deep breaths.

A lot of people would get agoraphobic in places I get claustrophobic.

Now then, Brendan.

This is becoming a habit.

Jenny scores brilliantly, and you're out of the woods.

Even if you score 100 points,

you won't overtake the high score of Nick and Jean on 155.

So, have a bit of fun with this board.

Er, I THINK we're looking at ornithophobia as a fear of birds.

A fear of birds, says Brendan, for ornithophobia.

Let's see if that's right. No red line for you again, because you're already through.

Let's see how many people said ornithophobia - a fear of birds.

Absolutely right.

41.

41. 89 your total.

-Fear of birds.

-Well played, Brendan. They're a good little team on the middle podium.

-Apparently, David Beckham has a fear of birds.

-Has he?

-Apparently.

There we go. Now, Craig.

Craig, you know exactly what you've got to do.

We want to know what these phobias are a fear of.

Yeah...

You are the last person to have this board,

so talk us through it if you like.

I don't know many of them.

I knew the two that have gone.

I do know what technophobia is.

But I'm just wondering if...is it small enough to beat you?

That's the problem.

66 or less gets you through to the head-to-head.

So I'll go technophobia - fear of technology.

Technophobia - fear of technology, says Craig.

Here comes your red line.

-Get below that and you're through to the head-to-head.

-Ooh!

Technophobia. How many people said technophobia, a fear of technology?

It's right.

You've done it!

51. Very well done indeed, Craig.

That takes your total up to 139.

I'm saving his life all the time!

-Hold on! I knew...

-Me shoulders are killing me from carrying him through this show!

Hang on. How many was acrophobia?

-Acrophobia?

-I think it's fear of heights.

Absolutely right, and would have scored you...

eight points.

ALL: Ooh!

See!

It wasn't your go.

Though, to be fair, you still have scored 188 points in two goes.

So...

Let's take a look at the other two.

Cynophobia is the other thing Danny should have known.

It's a fear of dogs.

-Ah!

-Ah!

-One point.

And coulrophobia is a phobia I think everybody in Britain has.

I'd be surprised if no-one has it. Three points.

It's a fear of clowns.

-Clowns.

-Clowns.

Have you got a fear of clowns?

Yeah, don't like them.

I don't have a fear. I have a low tolerance of poor clowns.

Brendan, I am the same.

As soon as anybody funny dresses up in weird clothes

and goes out and tries to entertain, I can't have it.

No, I'm sorry.

I'm simply talking about somebody who slathers themselves in makeup and, you know, I can't...

Not a cross-dresser.

Everyone's got a fear of clowns. They're very scary.

Soon as you see a clown in a horror film...

Yeah, but...a fear of horror films,

with clowns in.

-I've got a fear of horror films.

-I've got a terrible fear of horror films.

-But I think that's the point.

-Of course.

Thanks very much, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round,

our losing pair, with a high score of 155, it's Jean and Nick.

Oh, you've been fantastic.

Good luck!

Nick, Jean, it's been lovely having you on the show. Thank you so much for playing. Nick and Jean!

For the two remaining pairs,

they're getting one step closer to the final

and a chance of taking home the jackpot for their charities, as we enter the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Brendan and Jenny, Craig and Danny.

You're now only one round away from the final

and the chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at £2,500.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Obviously, only one pair can play for that money, and to decide who, you'll now go head-to-head.

The big difference is you're now allowed to confer.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for the jackpot.

Well, I have to say, so far it's been the Jenny and Craig show.

Hasn't it? Danny, Brendan, welcome to Pointless.

Brendan, how does it feel?

You're the golden couple, the lowest-scoring pair.

Yeah, we expected this.

LAUGHTER

-We've been practising for a long time.

-Trained hard.

We trained hard. We did push-ups in the dressing room before we came out.

No, listen, our target initially was just not to be knocked out in the first round.

We just didn't want to go on the first round. And now our target is, um...

We want to win the trophy.

We want the Pointless trophy, that glass trophy.

To go beside our BAFTA.

We can count our Emmys against that!

ALL: Ooh!

How are you going to do in the head-to-head?

Best of luck. Let's play it.

OK, here comes your first question. And it concerns...

Sitcom duos. Richard.

Yes, we've got two famous sitcom duos in front of us now.

We're about to show you five more, but of each of the duos, we've obscured one of them.

You just need to tell us who that obscured person is.

And we're looking for the character names. Best answer wins.

Thanks very much, Richard. Let's reveal our five sitcom duos with one person obscured. And we have got...

There we are. Five sitcom duos with one person obscured.

Now, Brendan and Jenny, you've played best throughout the show, so you go first.

THEY WHISPER

We're going to go safe.

A, which is Mildred.

It's from George And Mildred.

Mildred, you are saying, from George And Mildred. Mildred.

Craig and Danny. Do you want to talk us through the board?

Yeah, we're kind of stuck.

We've got Baldrick at C.

Don't know what Neil Morrissey's character was in Men Behaving Badly.

He was Arkwright. What was David Jason?

What was his character?

And who was Penelope Keith in To The Manor Born?

What was her character's name? Wasn't Margo, was it?

So do you think...? Come here. Do you think...

that Baldrick would beat George And Mildred?

What do you think?

Depends on what age the people that you're asking...

What was the demographic of the people you asked?

An absolute cross-section of the British public.

We'll go Baldrick - C.

C, Baldrick, say Craig and Danny.

So, Brendan and Jenny said Mildred.

Let's see if Mildred's right and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Mildred.

It's right. 57.

57.

That's quite high for Mildred.

We expected it to be lower than that.

-We had the same problem the guys had - we knew the actors...

-Couldn't remember the characters' names.

-OK.

-With the exception of Baldrick.

Well, Craig and Danny have gone for Baldrick.

Let's see if Baldrick is right for C.

Let's see how many people said Baldrick.

Go!

It's right.

Is it going to beat 57? It is!

Wow - 42!

APPLAUSE

Kerching!

Wow!

-42.

-I thought that would have been...

-I would have thought that was higher as well.

-We avoided it.

Very, very well done.

Craig and Danny, after one question, you're up 1-0. Richard.

I think it's quite a low score.

Maybe as he had other sidekicks, different people in it,

maybe people were less confident of it,

but George And Mildred could only be George And Mildred.

Now, B...Penelope Keith, and her name was Audrey Forbes-Hamilton.

Audrey would have been the answer there.

Would have scored you ten points.

Now, D...

Well, Martin Clunes was Gary

and Neil Morrissey was Tony.

So Tony would have scored you seven points.

And E...David Jason's character...

It's on the tip of my tongue!

Granville.

ALL: Granville!

Would have scored you 28 points.

So the best answer up there is Tony.

Richard, thank you very much.

OK, here comes your second question. Brendan and Jenny, you have to win this one to stay in the game.

Our second question concerns...

Rice dishes. Richard.

We're going to show you five anagrams now of dishes traditionally made with rice.

Can you unscramble them and pick the most obscure?

OK, thanks, Richard. Let's reveal our five anagrams of rice dishes. And here they come.

I'll read those one last time.

There we are. Now then, Craig and Danny, you go first this time.

Um...

All right.

We go for lay baa jam - that's jambalaya.

Jambalaya, lay baa jam, say Craig and Danny.

Jambalaya.

Now then, Brendan and Jenny.

Talk us through the board, if you like.

-OK.

-We think jambalaya may be right.

All pea is paella.

We think deer geek is kedgeree. We think air in can

is completely useless.

And we think an eg cone would be a great idea.

LAUGHTER

We're going to go for kedgeree.

OK, kedgeree, you're going to say.

OK, so Craig and Danny have said jambalaya for lay baa jam.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said jambalaya.

It's right.

It's not bad at all - 30 for jambalaya.

Brendan and Jenny, you have gone for kedgeree for deer geek.

Let's see if kedgeree's right. Let's see how many people said it.

It is right.

30 is what you've got to beat.

You've done it - very well done! 13.

You're back in the game, Brendan and Jenny.

Very well done. After two questions, you are 1-1.

Well played, Brendan and Jenny. You've both been terrific teams throughout.

It's right that it goes to a decider. Let's look at the rest of these.

Now, all pea, you're right, is paella,

but would have been a big scorer - would have scored you 58.

Eg cone is a kind of rice porridge -

congee.

Would have scored you one point.

And air in can is a pointless answer

and it is arancini.

Very well done to anyone who got that at home.

Thanks very much, Richard. Here comes your third question. Whoever wins this question

goes through to the final. The decider concerns...

Andy Murray. Richard.

We're now going to see five clues to facts about Andy Murray,

all of which are correct up to the end of October 2012.

Give us the answer to the most obscure of these. Very best of luck, both teams.

Thanks very much. Let's reveal our five clues to facts about Andy Murray.

And here they come.

I'll read those all one last time.

Now then, Brendan and Jenny, you go first again this time.

We're going to go for Andy Murray's home town in Scotland,

being Dunblane.

Dunblane, his home town in Scotland.

Now then, Craig and Danny,

talk us through the board.

Well, the only one I actually knew was Dunblane.

So that's right, that one!

I SHOULD know the name of his mother - she's in the papers, on the telly all the time.

Every time he plays, they cut to her.

It's, er...

Mrs Murray.

Um...

Is his brother's name Jamie?

Are you playing this at all?!

Jamie.

-Jamie.

-Is his brother's name Jamie?

-Yes.

Let's go for Jamie, his brother.

His brother Jamie. Now, Brendan and Jenny have said Dunblane,

his home town. Let's see if that's right and if it is,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Dunblane.

It's right.

Oh, it's good - 39. 39 for Dunblane.

-Jamie's right.

-Yeah, Jamie's right.

Craig and Danny have said Jamie is the name of his brother

who won the Mixed Doubles Championship at Wimbledon in 2007.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Jamie.

It's right.

39 is what you've got to beat.

And you've done it - very well done!

28.

APPLAUSE

28.

Very, very well done indeed.

Craig and Danny - mainly Danny -

after three questions, you are through to the final 2-1.

Very well done indeed. Richard.

A great head-to-head for a lovely show. Well played, everybody.

Let's fill in the rest of the answers. The name of his mother...

You're right - they're always cutting away to her. It's Judy.

I was going to say Janet, but I wasn't sure.

-BRENDAN:

-You should have!

LAUGHTER

That would have scored you 13 points.

The year he first won the Queen's Club tournament,

that's a much lower score. It was 2009.

Would have scored you five points.

This last one is a pointless answer - would have added some money to the jackpot.

The name of his border terrier is Maggie May.

Maggie May!

Pointless answer.

Very well done if you got all of those at home.

Thanks very much, Richard.

So our losing pair at the end of the head-to-head, it's Brendan and Jenny.

Aw!

APPLAUSE

-No 100s.

-No 100s!

You have played SO well.

You've been the lowest-scoring pair in every round.

And it's been real teamwork as well.

In fact, Jenny, it's been kind of you.

But Brendan, you brought some wisdom there.

-Who actually got kedgeree?

-Jenny.

-Jenny.

It HAS been all you, then, Jenny!

Listen, it's been lovely having you on the show.

Thank you so much for coming on.

Brendan and Jenny - brilliant contestants.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

But for Craig and Danny, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Craig and Danny.

You fought off all the competition and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot for your charities.

At the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £2,500.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So, guys, the Ocean's trilogy,

phobias,

sitcom partnerships, rice dishes,

Andy Murray... I mean, you've got it all sewn up...

Craig.

Anyone who's going to do a quiz show, make sure Craig's your partner.

The pair of you know everything, Craig.

-No, we don't!

-Danny, what would you like to see come up in this round?

What would show you to your best?

-Musicals.

-Musicals.

They come up from time to time.

Probably every obscure musical I've never heard of will come up now.

Well, the rules are very simple. To win the money,

all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

Do that and you will take home that money for your charities.

First, you have to choose a category.

Here are your five options.

Oh, what do you fancy?

I'm no good on noughties music, really.

Noughties music...

That's 2000 to 2010.

US elections?

I did stay up and watch that whole thing.

But it says "elections" - it could be like...

-going back to Disraeli!

-Gerald Ford.

-Was he English?

Disraeli was definitely English!

I think we'll avoid the US elections, all right?!

What about screen sirens?

Screen sirens.

-We'll go screen sirens.

-Screen sirens.

-Screen sirens it is.

Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many...

-Oh, man!

-Elizabeth Taylor films. Richard.

We're looking for the title of any film made for general cinema release

for which Elizabeth Taylor ever received an acting credit.

No TV films, short films, anything like that, but voice performances do count.

Very, very best of luck.

OK, you now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that £2,500 for your charities

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-Are you ready?

-I'm ready. You ready?

-Yes.

-Let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

Here they are. Your time starts now.

She started out in National Velvet when she was a girl.

She also...

..played a little girl...a little girl, really young...

with Orson Welles in...

Is it Rachel or Emma?

Something like that. And she was uncredited for it,

but she played the little girl, in black and white...

I've heard of Emma.

Night Of The Iguana,

set in Puerto Vallarta in Mexico.

-Cleopatra.

-Cleopatra, of course.

Night Of The Iguana would be a good one.

-What was the one she was in with Richard Burton?

-That's Night Of The Iguana.

She did that with Richard Burton in Mexico.

National Velvet...

What's the one...with Orson Welles, where he's locked...

-his mad wife up in the tower?

-Ten seconds left.

So, what, shall we go Night Of The Iguana, Cleopatra - cos we know that's one of her films -

and, um...?

OK. That's time.

We were looking for Elizabeth Taylor films.

I now need your three answers.

-Night Of The Iguana...

-Yes.

-Night Of The Iguana.

-Night Of The Iguana.

-Cleopatra.

-Cleopatra.

-And National Velvet.

-National Velvet.

-And National Velvet. OK.

OK, there we are. Three Liz Taylor films.

Of those three, which do you reckon is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Night Of The Iguana.

-Night Of The Iguana. We'll put that last.

-Least likely?

-Cleopatra.

We'll put that first.

Let's put those up on the board in that order. And here they are.

We have got...

OK, so we were looking for Elizabeth Taylor films.

Cleopatra was your least confident answer.

You only have to find one pointless answer to win that jackpot of £2,500 for your charities.

Let's see how many people said Cleopatra.

It's right.

I think you're expecting this to be quite a high one.

We'll see... Oh, 55.

OK, there we are. 55.

I was expecting it to be 101!

55, that's not bad.

Not a pointless answer,

but a good indication our 100 people aren't perhaps that up on their Liz Taylor films.

So only 55 of them knew that.

So only two more chances to win today's jackpot.

Craig, we've been talking about Red Dwarf. We haven't talked about Corrie at all.

-You play Lloyd, the taxi driver.

-I do play Lloyd.

Any exciting spoilers you can give us?

There's going to be a load of shocks.

You're going to find out a lot of stuff.

Obviously, you're playing for charity today. What are your charities? Craig?

I've gone for the Make A Wish Foundation,

who...really seriously sick kids, they try and grant them wishes

because they're very, very ill.

I've done quite a bit for them. It's a really good charity, actually.

Excellent. Make A Wish Foundation.

APPLAUSE

Danny, how about you?

I'm going to donate to the ACLT -

a leukaemia charity trying to raise the people on the list of bone marrow donors.

It's very, very low in the Caribbean community.

Very good. The ACLT. Two excellent charities.

APPLAUSE

Well, best of luck. We have two brilliant answers left on the board.

Let's hope one of those will win that jackpot for your charities.

We're looking for Elizabeth Taylor.

Let's hope nobody said your next answer, which was National Velvet.

Again, this has to be pointless to win that jackpot. Let's see, for £2,500,

how many people said National Velvet.

Well, it's right.

Cleopatra took us down to 55.

National Velvet taking us down... It's beaten Cleopatra.

Down it goes into the 30s...

Ooh, 30!

30.

APPLAUSE

Everyone knows it. They probably didn't know the name.

-30.

-30.

-I kind of knew some people would have got that.

-They were going to get that.

You know what, I watch this show nearly every night,

and I've never ever once on the show got a pointless answer.

-Really?

-Yeah.

I'm just hoping that today might be my lucky day!

OK, we're looking for Elizabeth Taylor films.

Your third and final answer - The Night Of The Iguana.

-This is a fantastic answer, if it's right. You're pretty confident it's right?

-Yeah.

The Night Of The Iguana.

It has to be right, has to be pointless, to win that jackpot for your charities.

Let's find out. The Night Of The Iguana. How many people said it? Is it a correct answer?

Is it a pointless answer?

Oh, no!

WHAT?!

Oh, no!

APPLAUSE

What was it called, then?!

I don't know what's gone on there. The big man will tell us in a moment.

-Unfortunately, you didn't find that...

-Gutted!

You didn't find that all-important pointless answer,

which I'm afraid means you didn't win today's jackpot.

-I was building it up so much!

-It sounded really correct!

I convinced myself!

You certainly convinced me!

Well, listen, as it's a celebrity special,

we are going to donate £500 to each celebrity pair for their respective charities.

You've been brilliant contestants.

You do get to take home the pointless trophy as well,

so you have that to show for your time here.

Richard.

Yeah. Now, The Night Of The Iguana. It's a Richard Burton film

and she was on set all the time, there was huge publicity around her being there.

Were they splitting up, getting back together, all that. But she wasn't in the film.

She didn't appear in the film, I'm afraid.

That is gutting!

So sorry. Let's look at some pointless answers.

Beau Brummell, with Stewart Granger.

Boom, which was a Tennessee Williams written film,

which she was in with Richard Burton.

Courage of Lassie - she was also in Lassie Come Home, but that would have scored you one point.

-She filmed some right turkeys, didn't she?!

-Yes.

Night Watch, Raintree County,

and another film with Richard Burton, Under Milk Wood.

There's a few other films.

Ash Wednesday, Quo Vadis - well done if you said that.

The Girl Who Had Everything, The Last Time I Saw Paris and There's One Born Every Minute - all pointless answers.

Oh, Craig!

You knew a few of those. Jane Eyre, you nearly got.

-Under Milk Wood.

-I definitely knew that - I'm a big Dylan Thomas fan.

I definitely knew Under Milk Wood.

Bad luck. Well, unfortunately,

we have to say goodbye to you, Craig and Danny, but it has been brilliant having you on the show.

-Thank you so much for playing.

-Thank you.

-Excellent!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Join us next time, when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

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