Episode 5 Pointless Celebrities

-APPLAUSE

-Thank you very much.

I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to this special '70s edition

of Pointless Celebrities - the show that puts obscure to the test.

Let's meet today's Pointless Celebrities.

APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

I'm Madeline and I was in bed with Roger, Sir Roger Moore,

in Live And Let Die.

-Ooh!

-AUDIENCE: Ooh!

My name is Paul Henry. I was never a James Bond.

I was in a show called Crossroads, playing Benny,

and I was in bed with Starry the goat.

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

And couple number two.

I'm Rick Wakeman and I've been married lots of times,

so I've been in bed a lot.

LAUGHTER

In a band called Yes for many years and a few other bits

and pieces and now officially a Grumpy Old Man.

And I'm Roy Wood from The Move, ELO and Wizzard, and currently touring

with the Roy Wood Rock & Roll Band, and doing a bit of street cleaning.

-That's me.

-LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

-Couple number three.

-Hello. I'm Anna Karen.

I was in a series called On The Buses

and I played the glamorous and intelligent one in the cast.

LAUGHTER

Hello. I'm Sally Thomsett and I was in Man About The House.

I played ditzy Jo and it was typecast.

And also Phyllis in the Railway Children.

APPLAUSE

-And finally, couple number four.

-Hello.

I'm Sally James and I'm probably best remembered for flinging

flans and throwing buckets of water on Tizwas.

Hello. I'm Ed Stewart and during the '70s,

I was one of the presenters of Crackerjack!

AUDIENCE: Crackerjack!

-APPLAUSE

-Thank you for remembering!

And these are today's contestants. We'll find out more about you throughout the show.

That just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

If Hannibal Lecter and Albert Einstein had a child, it would be ludicrous and unbelievable,

but this man would certainly know something about it. It's my Pointless friend. It's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everybody. APPLAUSE

Hiya.

-Good evening to you.

-Oh, my goodness! You've got a moustache!

And so have you. You look good!

Yeah, so do you! I think you pull it off better than I do.

I don't think I do!

I think you look like a 1970s PE teacher who is dressed

up for parents' evening.

No, who has got to sit in on a geography lesson cos the geography teacher's a bit hung-over.

-He's furious about it. You've probably got a little bottle of whisky in your pocket.

-Yeah, yeah.

-Yeah, you look amazing!

-Yeah(!)

-LAUGHTER

I tell you what it is about these, you have to laugh like this.

You have to go, "Ha-ha-ha!"

LAUGHTER

-It's quite hard to smile with a moustache, isn't it?

-Yeah, yeah.

-But anyway, what a line-up. Isn't this great? It's like our childhood's come to life.

-I know!

On the last podium, we've got Tizwas and Crackerjack.

How brilliant is that? And Rick and Roy are both back.

They both changed partners cos Rick came on last time with Nicholas

Parsons and Roy, last time, was on with the real Father Christmas.

-That's right.

-How about that?

-Well, thank you very much indeed.

-It's a pleasure.

As always, our questions have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants need to find the obscure answers

those 100 people didn't get.

Everyone's trying to find a pointless answer -

an answer that none of our 100 people gave

and each time that happens, we will add £250 to the jackpot.

As today's show is a celebrity special and our celebrities

are playing for charity, we start off with a jackpot of £2,500.

CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

If everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

The pair with the highest score at the end of the round will be eliminated.

Remember, there is to be no conferring during the round itself.

OK, our first category today is:

Famous figures. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going first and second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns:

-Famous Sarahs, Richard.

-On each pass, we're going to show you seven descriptions of famous people,

all with the first name Sarah, or known by the first name Sarah.

Tell us the most obscure one up there, please.

14 in all to have a got at at home. Very best of luck. 14 Sarahs to get.

Thank you very much indeed.

OK, so remember, we're looking for the names of these famous Sarahs

and here is our first board of seven Sarahs.

And here they are...

I'll read those all one last time.

Now, Madeline and Paul, you all drew lots before the show and today,

you are going to go first.

-So, Madeline, Live And Let Die?

-Yes.

Live And Let Die.

-Was he nervous, Roger?

-What, being in bed with me?

-No, no, no, that was his first outing as Bond!

-Oh, right!

I don't think he was nervous, no.

He looked great. Very handsome, wonderful.

No, he wasn't. But they'd already done a lot of filming.

They'd almost finished all the location filming

by the time they got to me.

I was in bed for three days with him.

"I was in bed for three days with Roger Moore."

It sounds like an illness!

I hope not!

-Now then, Madeline...

-Yes.

-..we have some Sarahs.

-Yes, I know.

I think I might know the top one.

But I might get it slightly wrong but I think her name

was Sarah Chaplain. Is that right?

OK. Sarah Chaplain, says Madeline.

Let's see if it's right and if it is,

-how many of our 100 people said Sarah Chaplain.

-Could be Caplan.

-No, bad luck, Madeline.

-Sorry.

-I'm so sorry.

-I went for obscure and got it wrong.

-You're not a million miles off

but I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.

-OK.

-It scores you the maximum of 100 points.

I'm really sorry. Always tough on that first podium.

Yeah, sorry, Madeline.

It really is tough to start on podium one on this show.

-Yeah, I'll give you the correct answer at the end of the pass.

-OK.

OK, Roy.

-Yes, thank you.

-Welcome back to Pointless.

It's great to have you here. Now, listen, last time,

with the venerable Father Christmas,

Round Two you made it to.

I was back in Derbyshire before closing time.

That's how good it was!

OK.

Well, now, Roy, listen, one of the great proponents of prog rock,

one of the founding members of the Electric Light Orchestra.

-ELO, yeah.

-Yeah, these are big things. And obviously Wizzard.

Yeah, and The Move before that, as well.

Have there been any years in the last three decades

when I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday

hasn't been in the charts?

-No. That's all right, thank you.

-It's every single year.

-My bank manager likes it.

-I bet he does!

Fantastic. Now, listen, Roy,

-we have all these Sarahs lined up especially for you.

-OK,

I'd go for...

I'll go for number two, Sarah Brightman.

Sarah Brightman played Christine in the Phantom Of The Opera.

Let's find out if that's right and if it is,

how many of our 100 people said it.

It's right.

At least it's right.

28 for Sarah Brightman. Very well done, Roy.

Well played, Roy. Good answer.

She had a top ten hit as well with The Phantom Of The Opera,

alongside Steve Harley,

who would be a good answer in famous Steves

but not a good answer in famous Sarahs.

-Steve Harley...

-Steve Harley.

-..was in Phantom Of The Opera?

He sang Phantom Of The Opera with Sarah Brightman, yes.

-I like your one eyebrow.

-I know, I'm doing a lot of that.

It's cos we can't move our mouths.

-I know, I had to make up.

-That's the thing, isn't it?

Steve...

-Steve Harley?

-That's very good.

THE Steve Harley, Rich?

-There we are. Well, thank you very much indeed.

-Such a pleasure.

Now, then, now, between Sally and Anna,

-which of you wants to go first?

-I'm going first.

-Anna, welcome back to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-You were here with Laila Morse last time...

-That's right.

-..on an EastEnders special.

-Yes.

Cos you played Sal Mitchell?

-I played Aunt Sal, yes.

-That's right, Peggy's sister.

And you and Barbara, you have previous?

Oh, yes, we go back to Carry On Camping.

Yeah, you were in the famous Carry On Camping scene with the...

-Yes.

-..with the bikini tops, there.

-Yeah.

Yeah, I was billed in that as Hefty Girl.

-That was my billing.

-Hefty Girl?

"Hefty Girl - Anna Karen."

Is that what it says?!

Now then, Anna, what do you make of these Sarahs, here?

Well, I know two of them. I don't know which is more obscure.

I'm going to go for number four...

..Sarah Ferguson.

Sarah Ferguson married Prince Andrew in 1986.

Let's see if that's right and if it is, how many people said it.

It is absolutely right.

-Oh, 81.

-Oh, no!

-That's a high score.

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

-That's a very high score, isn't it, for Sarah Ferguson?

-Yeah, it is.

Big name recognition still. But it's better than 100, Anna,

-that's the key.

-Thanks very much indeed.

-Now, Sally.

-Hello.

-Sally, we come to you.

-Tiswas! Tiswas recently voted second only to Blue Peter.

-I know!

-We were so thrilled at that.

-All-time favourite.

-I know.

But that's one of those few programmes that you watch

and you just know that that is every bit as much fun to make.

It was good fun. We all got on really well together.

-Yeah.

-We were a very happy little team,

a bit like you and Richard I think.

Oh, I hope not! Oh, I really hope not.

And when you work with someone that you get on with,

then the whole thing is a massive success, just like this is.

-Aw-w, thanks.

-I would love that.

-Wouldn't you like that?!

-Wouldn't that be nice?

-I would love to work with someone I got on with.

-Yeah!

-Seriously, wouldn't that be amazing?

-That would be nice.

-Oh...

-Oh, God, can you imagine?

-Turning up to work,

-just not thinking...

-And joy.

You don't have to listen to somebody going,

-"Gib, gib, gib, gib."

-Oh, yeah.

Something or other they did yesterday

which you're not interested in.

Now, Sally, what do you do...

You've gone into a completely new era...era...area!

Area, even. I have.

-Yes.

-What you do now?

I started my own business 21 years ago,

school uniform supply.

-So that keeps me quite busy.

-Wow.

-So I'm doing that but I do still get asked about Tiswas a lot.

-I bet.

I do appear on a few game shows here and there

and I did pantomime last year.

So I'm doing things all the time, really.

Anyway, Sally, this is your board. It's all yours.

-All mine?!

-Do you want to talk us through it?

-Yes.

-Fill in the blanks...

-Every answer, no problem!

-..and then submit your favourite.

-Yes. Well, I know two.

And the ones I know are the last one from the bottom,

Carrie Bradshaw was obviously Sarah Jessica Parker,

which I imagine will be quite a high score.

So I think I know number one and I hope I get it right.

And I imagine that would be a lesser answer.

So I'm going for Sarah Palin.

Sarah Palin. There you are, Madeline.

-She's right!

-Am I? I hope so.

Let's find out if you are and if you are,

let's see how many people said Sarah Palin.

It's right.

-40!

-Oh, quite high.

Not bad. Not bad.

-Well done.

-Thank you.

Very well played, Sally. Unlucky, Madeline.

You had most of the right letters,

-just not necessarily in the right order.

-That's right!

Now, let's fill in the rest of this board.

Anna, was Sarah Palin going to be your other answer?

No, my other answer was Sarah Jessica Parker.

OK, Sarah Jessica Parker would have been

a much, much, much better answer.

She would have scored you...

-30 points.

-Oh, no!

Yeah, it would have been a terrific answer.

The cyclist, she's been on the show as well,

Dame Sarah Storey.

She would have scored you 12.

The England wicketkeeper was Sarah Taylor.

She would have scored you three.

And the first woman to row solo across the Indian Ocean

was Sarah Outen.

She would have scored you one point

so it would have been a terrific answer.

Thanks very much. We're halfway through the round.

Let's look at those scores.

28 the best score of that pass.

Very well done, Roy and Rick. Looking very strong at this stage.

Then up to 40, where we find Sally and Ed.

Up to 81, Sally and Anna.

And then up to 100, where we find Madeline and Paul.

But I tell you what, you're not that far out in front.

Only 19 ahead.

So, Paul, a low score from you at the end of the round might be

enough to keep you in the game. Best of luck with that.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

We're going to put seven more famous Sarahs up on the board

and here they come.

I'll read those one last time.

-Ed.

-Yes, sir.

-Stewpot, great to have you here.

-Lovely to be here.

-I watch you every day.

-Welcome. We watch you every single Friday.

-Junior Choice as well.

-Oh, yeah.

-Ed, you're on 40.

The highest scorers, on 100, are Paul and Madeline.

-If you can get 59 or less, you're definitely in the next round.

-Right.

Well, I think I'll go for number one, because she is of my era,

and I'll say Sarah Vaughan.

Sarah Vaughan, says Ed. There's your red line.

If you go below that you're through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Sarah Vaughan.

-Well done, Ed.

-Keep going, Sarah! Keep going!

Very well done indeed. Three for Sarah Vaughan.

-APPLAUSE

-Well done, you!

-That takes your total up to 43. Very well done.

Well played, Ed. Terrific work from podium 4, from Sally and Ed.

Passed away in 1990, Sarah Vaughan. She's in the Jazz Hall of Fame,

got a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame, all sorts of things.

-Thanks, Rich. Sally Thomsett, welcome to the show.

-Hello.

-Great to have you here.

-Thank you.

-Phyllis in the Railway Children.

-One of my all-time favourite films.

-Oh, thank you.

It was sort of like making an ordinary little children's film,

which I'd done many of.

And it was only after we'd made it and

we had royal premieres and things like that, that we realised it

-was actually quite special.

-It was a massive film.

-Bernard Cribbins, who's been on the show as well.

-He's divine.

He's the nicest man in the world, isn't he?

Just fabulous. And Lionel Jeffries wrote the screenplay.

-Yeah, and directed.

-And he directed.

-It was his first film.

-Fantastic.

Well, Sally, look, you're at 81.

You're not out of the woods yet,

because the highest scorers are Paul and Madeline on 100.

-I thought you meant I was 81!

-No, no!

-No, no. That's your score!

-Oh, sorry.

-SHE LAUGHS

I'm going to go for the actress born in Paris, Sarah Bernhardt.

Sarah Bernhardt, says Sally.

Some vigorous nodding from this end of the stage. There's your red line.

If you get below that you are through to the next round.

Let's see if Sarah Bernhardt's right and how many people said it.

Oh, wow. There you are, 20.

Takes your total up to 101. For the moment you are the highest scorers.

I think that's enough to see you through.

Probably the most famous actor of the 19th century, Sarah Bernhardt.

Thousands lined the route of her funeral procession in Paris as well.

Thanks, Rich.

Rick, last time you were on you were here with Nicholas Parsons.

-I was, indeed.

-You made it through to the head-to-head.

We did and I think it was Cheese that threw us.

It's always the cheese!

Yeah, it was the Caerphilly that did for us at the end.

It was a lot of fun. Nick was amazing.

His knowledge is amazing

and he is as bright as a button for 90-years-old.

He is very spry, isn't he? Extraordinary.

Rick, you mentioned Yes, but you played piano on Hunky Dory.

Yeah, I did.

I was very lucky in the '60s and '70s to play on lots of different

people's records. I did Life On Mars and all the Hunky Dory

and Space Oddity. I did Morning Has Broken with Cat Stevens

-and a few others.

-And you played on Transformer, as well, I think?

-Yeah, and look where I am now.

-Look where you are now, see.

It was a wonderful apprenticeship of course, it really was.

I did about 2,000-odd records with different people

-and you learnt from every single one, it was great.

-Amazing.

Well, you are currently on 28.

The high-scorers now are Sally T and Anna on 101.

72 or less gets you through. I think this will be easy for you, won't it?

No. Erm...

There are two that I definitely knew, which are those two

and there is one I think I know, the other three not a clue.

I'm going to go for the comedian whose 2013 tour was entitled,

-Home Bird. I think that's Sarah Millican.

-Sarah Millican, says Rick.

Sarah Millican.

Here is your red line, get below that and you are through to the next round.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Sarah Millican.

It's right.

And, you're through, very well done, indeed.

-30.

-APPLAUSE

I'll take that.

30 takes your total up to 58.

Well played, Rick, the brilliant Sarah Millican.

It's a good show, I went to see that. It's very, very funny.

-She's funny, isn't she?

-She's funny.

-And lovely as well.

-And lovely as well.

-And annoyingly talented.

-Yeah.

Now then, Paul, right, you know what you have to do.

-You have to score a pointless answer here, or score one.

-Yeah.

Before we go any further, I do want to say a very warm,

warm welcome to you to the show.

I would say one of the great all-time characters from television.

I would think if anyone had to name a character from '70s and '80s TV

-within five nominations, they would get to Benny.

-Yeah.

It is a great achievement, what a great character

-and what a fantastic achievement, as well.

-Thank you.

When did you start in Crossroads, '70...?

I started in '75 and I finished in '87

-but I never did more than six months in a year.

-Oh, really?

-No.

Because I didn't get any holiday pay, so I know I didn't.

LAUGHTER

That was nice, it gave you time to do other things, too.

That was all great cos I used to go around the stage

because I have done more theatre than I have done television.

I was at the Birmingham Rep for nine years

and so I was in the good old days of repertory theatre.

Yeah, very good.

All right, now then, talk us through this board if you can, Paul.

I haven't got a clue.

Sarah Bernhardt, I don't know the author of Tipping Velvet.

I know the Sarah girl, she's got blonde hair

but I can't think of her name, property developer.

Sarah Bingham, I'm sorry.

Sarah Bingham. Well, I think...

Let's just say your red line is there.

It's just invisible, it's only visible to dogs, I'm afraid.

LAUGHTER

It's that low.

OK, let's see if Sarah Bingham is right and if it is let's see

if it will get you down there, Paul.

Look, I'm sorry, not Sarah Bingham.

It scores you the maximum of 100 points

and takes your total up to 200.

Sorry, Sarah Bingham and Sarah Chaplin have served you ill,

-I'm afraid, 200 points.

-They have.

You were both very close, actually, it's Sarah Palin

-and this is Sarah Beeny.

-I knew.

Would have scored you 21 points.

It would have been a very good answer.

Now the title role in the TV series Buffy The Vampire Slayer

was Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Quite a big score, it would have scored you 47.

Another big score at the bottom, the fifth member of Girls Aloud,

45 points if you said Sarah Harding.

The best answer on the board is Sarah Vaughan, which Ed got,

a terrific answer. Next best was the author of Tipping The Velvet

and Fingersmith, Sarah Waters. Five points if you said that, well done.

Thanks very much, Richard.

At the end of our first round I'm so sorry to say the pair

heading home with their high score of 200, it's Paul and Maddie.

-I'm so sorry.

-We are sorry.

It's such an honour to have two such wonderful people here.

We have to send you away. It's ridiculous, you've only just got here.

-It's been a real treat.

-We had a go.

-Well, thank you.

-Thank you for inviting us.

-Thank you so much.

-Thank you so much, Paul and Madeleine, lovely contestants.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs it's now time for Round Two.

And so three pairs remain. Sadly, at the end of this round,

we will have to say goodbye to another pair.

I wouldn't really want to call it at this stage.

-Ed and Sally, very well done to you.

-Thank you.

Not only the lowest combined score but Ed, very well done, Sarah Vaughan the best score of the round.

One of my favourite singers.

Great, well, very well done.

Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two is

-Pop Music.

-Oh, no.

It's Pop Music.

Can you all decide in your pairs who is going first, who is going second.

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

..artists with multiple UK number ones.

Multiple UK number ones.

-Richard?

-In a moment we're going to show you the name of four acts,

all of whom have had multiple UK number ones.

We're looking for the name of any number one single by any of these acts, please.

They've 20-odd number ones between them, so plenty to choose from.

Any UK number one single by any of the four acts you are about to see.

Very best of luck.

As Richard mentioned we're going to put four acts up on the board.

They'll remain on the board for the whole round,

so up the line and back down again. They won't change halfway through.

We just need any number one single by any of these four acts.

Good luck, here are the four acts.

OK, Roy, we come to you first.

I'll go with...

Blondie, Hanging On The Telephone.

Hanging On The Telephone, says Roy.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, see how many people

said Hanging On The Telephone.

That's tough, bad luck, Roy.

I'm sorry to say that's an incorrect answer.

That scores you 100 points.

They had lots of number ones but not Hanging on the Telephone,

it was number five in 1978.

Thanks, Richard. Now who wants to go first of you two?

I will.

The Bee Gees, Stayin' Alive.

Stayin' Alive, says Sally. Let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Stayin' Alive.

-No!

-No.

It's a high-scoring round. I'm afraid an incorrect answer. Yes, scores you 100 points. Rich?

Yes, Stayin' Alive not number one. It was number four in 1978.

-It's going well, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Very well. What we need now is a pop radio DJ to...

Yes!

-That's what we need.

-So now, Ed...

This has made me more nervous now.

-Everybody is expecting me to get the right answer.

-Go, go.

I think Tragedy.

Tragedy, says Ed. Let's see if Tragedy is right

and let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right! Very well done, Ed.

Seven.

APPLAUSE

Very well done, indeed. Seven points for Tragedy.

Well played, Ed, cometh the hour, cometh the man here. Well played.

A number one in 1979. Steps also had a number one single with it.

Thanks, Rich, we're halfway through the round, let's take a look at those scores.

As they stand, only two scores between the three pairs.

Ed and Sally, very well done,

seven, a very strong position to be in at this stage.

Then Sally T and Anna, Roy and Rick, you are all on 100.

So it's going to be between you, Anna, and you, Rick,

to see who stays with us and who leaves at the end of the round.

Best of luck, we're coming back down the line. Can the second players step up to the podium.

OK, now, Sally, we are looking for any UK number one

by any one of these four acts. There they are.

Now, listen, you're on seven. Ed's left you in a very strong position.

-He's good, isn't he? I'm so glad I'm with him.

-The high scorers are on 100, so 92 or less.

OK, I think I'll go for the Bee Gees.

Erm...

New York Mining Disaster.

-Oh, no, no, no.

-New York Mining Disaster.

-Ed looks like he's just had a slight mining disaster.

-Ed looks unhappy.

I've clearly not done well here.

New York Mining Disaster.

Well, Sally, there's your red line.

Get below that with your mining disaster and...

It is not going to happen, is it?

Let's see if it's right and how many people said it.

-No.

-Bad luck.

I'm sorry.

Bad luck, takes your total up to 107.

Sorry, Sally, it's good news for anyone who's ever wanted to

hear Ed Stewart whisper, "Oh, no, no, no, no, no."

LAUGHTER

You didn't hear me whisper that was their first release in this country.

-It was indeed, it got to number 12.

-That's right.

-Thanks, Richard.

Now then, Anna...

How do you find this board?

Dreadful!

I just haven't got a clue.

Er...

The Bee Gees, er...

I don't know...

I'll just say anything.

I just have to make it up. My Heart And I, I haven't a clue.

My Heart And I, what a nice song. It's poetic, isn't it?

# I'm in love with you. #

-Richard Tauber.

-My Heart And I.

My Heart And I says Anna.

OK, here's your red line.

My Heart And I, let's see, is it right?

I am so sorry.

I am sorry, Anna, an incorrect answer scores you 100 points,

takes your total up to 200.

Yes, My Heart And I, it's a lovely love song

about a cardiac surgeon and an optician.

A very beautiful er...

beautiful song.

Look at you laughing in that.

Now then, Rick, listen, you have a target there,

200 is the high score.

You are on 100, you have to score 99 or less.

Er, it could be very embarrassing.

There's two I've got in mind, one for David Bowie and one for Blondie.

We recorded Space Oddity in 1969.

I don't think it was a number one the first time around

but I believe it was when it was released the second time around.

So, on my head be it, I'll go David Bowie, Space Oddity.

Space Oddity, says Rick.

There is your red line, if you get below that you're in the head-to-head.

Is it right?

It is, very well done indeed, Rick.

Second time around.

11.

APPLAUSE

111 is your total, very well done, Rick.

That's a cool way to know something, isn't it?

That's a very cool way to know something, playing on it yourself

and you are right, as well. The first time it came out it got to number five in 1969.

It was '75 when it got to number one. Very, very well played.

That's a rare thing on Pointless for someone to get a pointless answer

-of something they were involved with.

-Absolutely.

It's quite nice that, isn't it?

I'll take you through some of the low-scoring answers in each category,

starting with Britney Spears because that's the only place where there's a pointless answer.

If you had said, Born To Make You Happy,

that was a pointless answer for Britney Spears.

You'd have got one point for Everytime ,

two points Scream And Shout,

17 for Toxic, Baby One More Time, 23

and Oops I Did It Again, 27.

David Bowie, Dancing In the Street would have scored two points,

a collaboration with Mick Jagger, of course.

Under Pressure, a collaboration with Queen, six.

Let's Dance would have scored you seven,

Space Oddity we've seen, Ashes To Ashes would've scored you 15.

-Did you play on that? That's a bit later, isn't it?

-A bit later on.

-Blondie, what would you have gone for with Blondie?

-Heart Of Glass.

And One Way Or Another.

One Way Or Another wasn't a number one single

but Heart Of Glass was a number one single.

That would have scored you 25. It's the biggest score, actually.

You could've had The Tide Is High and Sunday Girl,

both would have scored you five points.

You would've got six for Maria,

which was one of their comeback singles, many years later.

And Call Me and Atomic both would have scored you eight points.

And the Bee Gees, best answer there, I've Got To Get A Message To You

would have scored you one point, a great answer.

You Win Again would have scored five, Massachusetts would have scored

nine and Night Fever was a number one single

and that would have scored you 16.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So at the end of our second-round, I'm sorry to say the pair

leaving us with their high score of 200, it's Sally and Anna.

-Oh, dear, I'm so sorry.

-So are we.

-Yeah.

It's been lovely having you back, Anna, and lovely having you, Sally.

-Thank you so much for playing. Sally and Anna.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for the head-to-head.

Congratulations Ed and Sally, Roy and Rick,

you're one step closer to the final and a chance to play for our jackpot,

-which currently stands at £2,500.

-APPLAUSE and CHEERING

We have to decide who's playing for that money for their nominated charities

and to do that you're now going to go head-to-head.

You are now allowed to confer, that's the big difference.

The first pair to win two questions will be playing for the jackpot.

In our 1970s special edition of Pointless,

-it '70s kids TV versus '70s rockers.

-Yeah.

This is absolutely fantastic.

I think it's going to be very close indeed. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question and it concerns...

Classic 1970s Television.

Classic 1970s Television, Richard.

We're going to show you five stills now from classic 1970s television programmes.

Can you name the most obscure of these? Good luck.

Thanks very much, indeed.

Let's reveal our five stills and here they come.

We have got...

There we are, Classic 1970s Television.

Now, Ed and Sally, you played best throughout the show so far

so you will go first.

SALLY: I only know B and C, do you know E?

-What do you think E is?

-I don't know.

-Right, I think we'll go, are you in agreement?

-Yes.

Upstairs Downstairs with B.

OK, B, Upstairs Downstairs, say Ed and Sally.

Now Roy and Rick,

do you fancy talking us through the rest of the board?

Well, we know three, as I'm sure Ed and Sal knew the same three we did.

A, I should know A but...

It's... I'll know it when Richard tells us.

C is obviously Porridge and D is Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em.

And E, we feel we should know, but we don't.

So we will go for D and we'll go with Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em.

Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em, for D. OK.

So Ed and Sally went Upstairs Downstairs,

let's see if that's right. If it is, see how many people said Upstairs Downstairs.

It's right.

-APPLAUSE

-48.

48, Upstairs Downstairs.

Roy and Rick have said that D is Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many people said that.

It's right.

-61.

-APPLAUSE.

Well, there's your answer. Ed and Sally, well done.

After one question you are up 1-0. Richard...

Yeah, well played.

You all avoided C, which is Porridge, of course.

For a show that is 35-years-old,

it scores a very healthy 87 points still.

Amazing.

A is the best answer on the board.

They made a remake of this a few years ago, Survivors.

Survivors, one point, very well done if you said that.

And the last one, is part of the Play For Today series, it is

-a Michael Leigh play...

-Abigail's Party.

-Abigail's Party.

That would have scored you 18 points.

Thanks very much. OK, here's your second question.

Roy and Rick, you will get to answer this one first

but you have to win it to stay in the game, so best of luck.

It concerns...

The recipe for Coronation Chicken sauce, Richard?

We are going to give you five lines from the original recipe from 1953 for Coronation Chicken.

We've left out the names of the actual ingredients from each line,

apart from the first letter of each. Can you fill in the gaps, please.

Thanks very much, indeed. Let's reveal our five ingredients.

I'll read those one last time.

Now then, Roy and Rick, you will go first.

We've been on the road a lot and eaten a lot of this kind of stuff.

We will go for number two, curry powder.

Curry powder. Curry powder.

OK, now then Ed and Sally.

-The bottom one is obviously a tablespoon of oil.

-Yeah.

The third one, obviously, is three quarters of a pint mayonnaise.

Half a tablespoon of, what is that apple, almond...

It will be almond paste.

-A P, almond.

-That one, yeah.

I will let the lady give us the answer.

-Go on.

-We are going to go for almond paste, please.

You're going to go, almond paste.

So we have curry powder and we have almond paste.

Roy and Rick have said curry powder.

This will decide whether or not you stay with us or

whether we say goodbye to you.

Curry powder, how many of our 100 people said that, if it's right?

It's right.

-49.

-APPLAUSE

49 for curry powder.

OK, now Ed and Sally, you have gone for almond paste.

1-2 tablespoons of almond paste.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said almond paste.

Oh, it's not right. It's not almond paste.

It's not right, what is it?

Of course it's not almond paste.

In Coronation Chicken?

Very well done, Roy and Rick you're back in the game after two questions.

It's 1-1.

Once you've seen almond paste it's impossible to see anything else.

I think it should be in there.

What it actually is is apricot puree.

Like that's any better, sorry.

-Apricot puree.

-I never put that in my Coronation Chicken.

That would've scored two points. If you don't put that in your Coronation Chicken, Ed,

you're making it wrong.

The top one is a bay leaf.

That would have been a good scorer, it would've scored ten.

You're right, Sally, with three quarters of a pint of mayonnaise.

It would've seen you into the final as well

-because that would've scored 24 points.

-I'm sorry, I've been a disaster.

And at the bottom, one tablespoon of oil. It's a big scorer.

It would have scored 85.

There we are, OK, now it all comes down to our decider.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final and plays for that jackpot for their charities.

Here it comes, best of luck to both pairs. It concerns...

Birds.

It concerns, Birds, Richard.

We're going to show you the names of five British game birds now

but we have removed alternate letters. Can you fill in the gaps and give us the most obscure.

OK, thanks very much, indeed. Let's reveal our five game birds and here they are...

I'll read those all one last time.

-There we are. Ed and Sally you will go first this time.

-Oh, no.

Number three will be woodcock, won't it?

Yes, very good.

OK, shall we go for that, then? I'm not going to speak.

I'll speak this time. She didn't bring us any luck last time.

Number three, woodcock.

Woodcock, say Ed and Sally.

Now, Roy and Rick, do you want to talk us through the rest of the board?

-Yeah, we were going to go for woodcock.

-We were, yeah.

We reckon the bottom one is red grouse.

-And pheasant is the second one.

-Yeah, erm...

-Common, not snipe?

-Is it a common snipe?

-It could be snipe, yeah.

-Or shall we go...

Or shall we go for red grouse.

I would go for red grouse, I would.

We're not sure about common snipe

and pheasant we think will be probably more than 100.

We are going to go for

red grouse at the bottom.

Red grouse say Roy and Rick. Woodcock versus red grouse.

Ed and Sally said woodcock, let's see if that's right,

let's see how many people said woodcock.

It's right.

Keep going, keep going.

43 for Woodcock.

APPLAUSE

Roy and Rick have gone for red grouse.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 said red grouse.

It is right, obviously it has to beat 43.

Which it does, very well done, indeed!

12.

APPLAUSE

Very well done.

Roy and Rick, after three questions you are through to the final, 2-1.

Yeah, great head-to-head, very well played.

You're right about the top one, it is common snipe

and would have been an even better answer, it would have scored you seven points.

I think both teams knew the next one down, pheasant.

It would have scored you a fairly hefty 62.

-The last one.

-Yeah.

It's got an unusual letter between the P and the A. It is a ptarmigan.

It is a ptarmigan, that's exactly what it is

and would have scored you 21 points.

Thanks very much, indeed.

The pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round, I'm afraid it's Ed and Sally.

You've done so well throughout the show.

That was a really exciting head-to-head.

-I'm sorry, almond paste...

-I know! I'm never going to live that down.

I've never had that on my sandwiches!

Ed and Sally thank you so much for playing,

-it's been lovely having you on the show.

-Thank you.

-Ed and Sally, you've been brilliant contestants.

-Good luck.

For Rick and Roy, it's now time for our Pointless Final.

Congratulations, Roy and Rick, you fought off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

Very well done.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot and at the end of today's show,

-the jackpot stands at £2,500.

-APPLAUSE

I think this is entirely fitting

because you have each been here before.

You've come back, you've reformed as a super group,

a '70s super group.

It's on our special '70s show, I think it's entirely fitting

that you should storm through to the final.

What would really tip it off would be if you could also win the jackpot

for your charities as well. Let's hope you can do that.

As always, you choose your category

and you have four options to choose from and here they come.

You have got...

I'm no good with chick-lit, whatsoever. I don't know anything.

Goon Films? What's Famous Vans?

You know, transit?

We were in bands.

Is that famous driving vans or is that famous...

-Or is it famous vans in films, I don't know.

-We don't know.

-I'm no good on chick-lit.

-Famous Vans is so obscure.

Unless it's Vans, people,

-like Dick Van Dyke.

-Oh, man! Go on, then.

-Shall we have a go?

-Yeah.

Probably a huge error here but we're going to try Famous Vans

-because it's so obscure as to what it could be.

-Famous Vans it is.

-Rich?

-It is not going to be like Dick Van Dyke, or anything like that.

Let's take a look at the three categories.

The first one is, any film starring Dick Van Dyke.

LAUGHTER

According to IMDb. Any Van Morrison top 75 single.

Or, any team that Robin Van Persie

scored against during the 2011/2012 season for either Arsenal or Holland.

So any feature film made for cinema release for which Dick Van Dyke

has an acting credit.

Any Van Morrison top 75 single, or any team that Robin Van Persie

scored against during 2011/2012, either for Arsenal or for Holland.

Very, very best of luck, guys.

Thanks, Rich.

You've got up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

The answers you provide can come from any of these categories,

it's entirely up to you how you spread them across the categories.

-We just need three answers from you. Are you ready?

-Yeah.

OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are, your time starts now.

-We're struggling on this. We've got Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

-Yeah.

Mary Poppins.

I'm trying to think of what other films did he do.

Teams that Van Persie would have scored against.

He scored against Man City.

-Man United he did, as well.

-But everybody will know that.

I'm trying to think of sides that were relegated that season.

-OK.

-That might be teams that people have forgotten about.

-Bolton Wanderers.

-Yeah.

It is a thought.

-I reckon Bolton Wanderers and Blackburn.

-Blackburn.

Oh, Blackburn would be a good one.

If we do Blackburn Rovers, Bolton Wanderers

and is it worth doing Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Yeah, go on, then.

Brown Eyed Girl.

Van Morrison stuff...

It's a bit weird, isn't it?

-I can't think of one.

-Ten seconds left.

OK, shall we go Bolton Wanderers, Blackburn Rovers

-and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?

-Yeah, do that.

-We're OK.

-OK, there you are.

Your time is now up. What are your three answers going to be?

The amazing thing is neither of us can come up with any

Van Morrison top 75 singles, which is a bit embarrassing, really.

It is mad, isn't it?

Dick Van Dyke films.

I know that Richard is going to mention loads of obscure ones.

We are just going to cringe when we know.

-We'll go Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

-Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Teams Van Persie scored against, what we've try to do

is think of sides that were relegated that season,

or the last season so that's a good chance.

-So we are going to go for Bolton Wanderers.

-Bolton Wanderers.

-And Blackburn Rovers.

-And Blackburn Rovers.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless?

-Blackburn Rovers we'll put.

-Blackburn Rovers we'll put last.

-Which is your least likely to be pointless?

-Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

OK, let's pop those on the board in that order

and here they are.

There we are, very, very best of luck.

Three perfectly good answers up there on the board.

Only one of these has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot for your charities.

If you were to win the jackpot, what are your charities.

-Roy, what's yours?

-Mine is the Birmingham Children's Hospital.

Excellent, Rick, what is yours?

-Mine is for the Grand Order Of Water Rats.

-Very good.

Of which I am proudly King Rat.

Two excellent charities there.

Let's hope one of these three answers will win that jackpot

for your charities. OK, your first answer was Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

This was the one you thought was probably least likely to be

pointless. You never know, it could be. It could be.

It has to be correct,

then it has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot.

For £2,500, let's find out how many people named

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang as a Dick Van Dyke film.

Well, obviously, it's right.

Down it goes.

Through the 60s, through the 50s, still going down.

Into the 30s...

31!

APPLAUSE

Not bad.

-You have just thought of another answer you could have given.

-Yeah, Stoke City.

Well, there are two perfectly good ones on the board.

Everything is now riding on those two,

only two shots left at the jackpot.

Your next answer was Bolton Wanderers.

You're not entirely sure it is correct but it's likely.

So for £2,500, it has to be pointless.

It's right.

It's right.

Now then, your first answer Chitty Chitty Bang Bang took us all the way down to 31.

Bolton Wanderers now taking us down through the teams

into single figures and still going down. Down it goes.

You've done it! Very well done, indeed!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Congratulations, that is fantastic. Very well done indeed.

Well done. Superb. Brilliant!

That is fantastic.

Congratulations, Bolton Wanderers was a pointless answer which

means you go home with that jackpot of £2,500 for your charities.

Very, very well done.

APPLAUSE

You played so well throughout the show, what a fitting end to it all.

Absolutely wonderful. Richard...

Congratulations, you've been terrific right from the beginning.

Blackburn Rovers also a pointless answer.

APPLAUSE

The one you thought of after your time, Stoke City,

if you had said that, two points. It just goes to show, doesn't it?

Let's take a look at the pointless answers in all the categories.

Well done if you said any of those at home.

You could have Borussia Dortmund, Northern Ireland, San Marino, Udinese, or Wolves.

Very well done if you got any of those at home.

-Brilliantly done in the studio, congratulations.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

Very well done, indeed. Thanks once again to our winning players,

Roy and Rick go away with today's jackpot of £2,500 for their charities. Very well done.

APPLAUSE

Join us next time when we'll put more obscure knowledge to the test.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

And it is goodbye from me, goodbye.

APPLAUSE