Episode 34 Pointless

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and a very warm welcome to Pointless,

the game where we are always aiming for the lowest score.

Let's meet today's players.

And couple number one.

Hi, my name is Ad and this is my lifelong friend Tom,

-and we're from Dartford.

-Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Gemma and I'm from Bristol,

and this is my lovely dad from Exmouth.

-Couple number three.

-Hi, I'm Elliot and this is my brother Tim.

-We're from Southend in Essex.

-And finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Fee, this is my friend Rin

and we're students in Winchester.

And these are today's contestants.

Thanks very much, all of you.

We'll find out more about you throughout the show as it goes

along, so that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

A man so exacting he is currently banned from over 800 market stalls

in the UK following violent clashes over apostrophes.

-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya. Hi, everybody.

Afternoon.

-Good afternoon to you.

-And to you.

-Now, what a show we had last time.

Cos we'd had six jackpot winners in a row.

We were going for seven jackpot winners in a row.

And we had Joe and Andrea, lovely Joe and Andrea,

and it was one of the most disastrous jackpot rounds

-we've ever had, wasn't it?

-It was terrible.

-Absolutely nothing.

So the run has come to an end, finally.

We've finally got more than £1,000 in that jackpot.

We were going for that seventh consecutive win.

-That was so exciting!

-We're going to have like £2,000 up for grabs.

-I don't even remember what that's like.

-I know.

We've only got one team coming back from that show, Elliott and Tim, who got knocked out in the first round,

so hopefully see a little bit more of them today.

Looking forward to getting to know you all.

-It's going to be an awful lot of fun, isn't it?

-Isn't it just?

Thanks very much, Richard.

As you'll have gathered, Joe and Andrea didn't win the jackpot

last time, so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off at £2,000.

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

All you have to remember is that the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated.

Obviously do everything you can to make sure it's not you.

Our first category today is...

Europe. Europe. Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many EU countries

with seven or more letters in their names as they could.

EU countries with seven or more letters in their name.

Yep, simply looking for any member state of the EU as of January 2014

with seven or more letters in their name, please.

We won't accept the United Kingdom, but anything else you can have.

-Thanks very much indeed. Now, Tom, welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

Great to have you here. What do you do, Tom?

I am an IT technician for a group of residential homes for the elderly.

-Very good indeed. What are your hobbies, Tom?

-I play a lot of music.

-I play guitar, piano, accordion.

-Accordion?

-Yes.

-Buttons on both ends?

-Buttons on one and keys on the other.

-How long have you played that?

-Not very long at all. Less than a year.

-It's blooming hard, isn't it?

-It is.

Have you worked your way around all the buttons?

I'm still trying to work out the left-hand part,

-but the right-hand part's OK.

-Yeah, right-hand's fine.

That's a piano, that's fine. But that,

I'm still wrestling with...trying to find a logic to it.

-I can't find a pattern to it.

-Yeah, it's not easy.

I'd love to play it though. I'm going to keep with it.

-I'm going to stick at it.

-Good.

-Good.

-So, Tom.

-Yes.

-EU countries with seven letters or more in their name.

I will have a stab

-at Slovenia.

-Slovenia, says Tom. Slovenia.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, how many of our 100 people said Slovenia.

That's a good answer. Look at that, Tom. Very well done.

-APPLAUSE

-11 points for Slovenia.

Well played, Tom. It can be very tough on that first podium.

It's a very good answer. It's got eight letters,

-so that clearly counts.

-It can come through.

It could lose a letter and still be a good answer.

It could be Lovenia and I still would have accepted it.

-LAUGHTER

-Or just Sloveni.

-Sloveni, yes, that would have been accepted.

-Or Sovenia, that would have been acceptable.

-Thank you, Richard.

Now, Gemma, welcome to Pointless. Lovely to have you here.

-What do you do, Gemma?

-I'm a skin cancer nurse specialist.

-In Bristol?

-Yes.

-So do you do screenings for people?

Yeah, we meet people from when they're referred from their GP.

-Right.

-And then if they get diagnosed, we follow them through

-their whole journey.

-It's one of these things

-I imagine everybody has a distant paranoia about.

-Absolutely, yes.

Then you go to the screening surgery, you see all those posters

and you think, "I've got nothing to worry about!"

Because you kind of know when they look bad, don't you?

-Yeah, definitely. There's things to look out for.

-Good.

And what are your hobbies, Gemma?

-I like singing a lot. I sing in a choir.

-How big is your choir?

There's about 50 of us in our group.

-There's different groups around Bristol and we all meet up.

-Wow.

-A sort of mass choir?

-Yeah.

-What a noise that must be, fantastic.

OK, Gemma, we are looking

-for EU countries with seven or more letters.

-Right.

I'm going to say...

-Portugal.

-Portugal, says Gemma. Let see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Portugal.

It's right.

-44 for Portugal.

-APPLAUSE

Yeah, slightly high-scoring answer.

This is like a very, very low-key version of Eurovision, isn't it?

Isn't it? Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

-Now, Tim, welcome back.

-Thanks.

So, remind us what you do.

-I'm a shift manager in a dairy.

-They are quite long shifts, aren't they?

You were saying last time.

Yeah, six in the morning till six in the evening.

But I live about an hour away,

so it's getting up quite early in the morning.

Blimey, that doesn't leave you much time to do other stuff.

What do you cram in?

I used to play a lot of football and cricket and golf.

Now I've got two small girls, so they take up a lot of my time.

Yeah, I imagine they will do.

So, Tim, EU countries with seven or more letters.

-Right, I'm going to go for Austria.

-OK, Austria, says Tim.

Everyone, like me, is now going...

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many

of our 100 people said Austria.

Well, it's right. 44 is our high score, 11 our low.

You've passed 44. Down you go to 25.

-APPLAUSE

-Well done, Tim.

Scores you 25.

Another good answer and that's got seven letters.

-That is sailing dangerously close to the wind.

-Yeah.

-You couldn't knock one off that.

-Nope.

-Ustria would be unacceptable.

LAUGHTER

-OK, now, Marin.

-Hi.

-Lovely to have you here, Marin. What do you do?

-I'm a student at Winchester Uni.

-What are you studying?

I study drama and performing arts.

And what do you like doing when you're not studying?

-Um...I spend a lot of the time at the pub with Fee.

-That's good.

-Does that count as a hobby?

-Revising for Pointless?

That's most definitely a hobby, yeah. OK, Marin, look at our scores.

We've had nothing lower than 11.

I have high hopes that this is the time.

OK...I'm not that sure.

I'm going to say Switzerland.

Switzerland, says Marin.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Switzerland.

Oh, I'm sorry, Marin.

Not Switzerland in the EU, I'm afraid.

100 points you score there.

It's fabulous in terms of number of letters.

I mean, it couldn't be faulted so far, but not in the EU, I'm afraid.

Thank you. We are halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores.

11 the best score of that pass, very well done, Tom.

Tom and Ad particularly strong at this point. Up to 25,

where we find Tim and Elliott, well done.

I think you are going to be in Round Two.

Then up to 44, Gemma and Jeff.

And then Marin and Fee, I'm so sorry.

-I mean, it's Switzerland's fault, really.

-I agree.

They should have got it all in order and joined the EU,

then it would be fine.

But I'm afraid they didn't, and you're now the high scorers,

and it's now on your shoulders, Fee. I'm sorry.

You need to come up with a nice, low-scoring answer.

Blame Switzerland. We'll come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

Remember, we are looking for any country in the EU that has

seven or more letters in its name. Now, Fee, welcome.

What do you do? I know one of the things you do quite a lot.

I'm a student. Me and Marin met... We do the same course

but I do drama with event management.

-And then, in my free time, I'm in the pub with Rin or...

-ALEXANDER LAUGHS

We both work at the theatre as well. We are workshop assistants.

-Right, sure.

-So I've got my two little groups that I teach.

I've got my 7-to-12-year-old group and my 12-to-17-year-olds.

Which do you prefer?

My 12-to-17-year-olds because I don't like shouting,

and the younger group require quite a lot of shouting.

Quite a lot of shouting, I see.

And how's the event management side of your degree coming along?

-What's that like?

-It's really good. It's my favourite, actually.

It's really hands-on.

We get like a placement instead of a dissertation in third year.

I imagine there's quite a lot of shouting in event management.

It's quite stressful, yeah. It's really full-on,

-but it's good, I really like it.

-OK, well, there you are.

You know what you have to do. You're on 100 points.

-We need a really low score from you, Fee.

-OK.

I'm really worried now

-because I just thought EU countries meant countries in Europe.

-So...

-Talk to Nigel Farage about that.

-LAUGHTER

I'm going to say Lithuania.

Lithuania, says Fee.

No red line for you, as you're the high scorers,

but let's see how many of our 100 people said Lithuania.

It's right.

Well, 11 is our lowest score so far, Fee. I wonder if...

-Oh, no, 18 you get.

-APPLAUSE

I thought we might have had a new low score there. But 118,

still very much in the game there.

A very good answer, Lithuania. Well played.

-Only got nine letters. Seems like it's got more.

-It does, doesn't it?

If you had to snap poll, how many letters are there in Lithuania...?

I think they told all the letters to just sort of bulk out a bit,

stand a bit further apart.

Further apart, just to make it look as long as possible.

-That's true, to scare off predators.

-Yeah. There you go.

-Thanks very much. Now, Elliott.

-Hi.

-Welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Last time we heard about your early tennis prowess.

-Yes.

-I mean, you played competitively at a very high level.

-I did, yes.

In the same tournament as Andy Murray.

Yes, we played in tournaments the same as Andy Murray.

I always found myself first reserve, normally,

-but I was up to national level, up to 15.

-And do you enjoy tennis now?

Yes. I tend to play doubles more because it's a lot less running...

-and I can blame someone if it goes wrong, of course.

-Exactly.

That's the best thing about doubles.

I was just thinking, if you played it at that sort of level,

presumably it's not quite as much fun for you after that.

Do you find you still have a bit of a competitive...?

Oh, I'm very competitive, but it's a bit more relaxing.

-Good.

-I'm not going to get too worried about it, like I used to.

Well, that's good. Now, you're very nearly through.

When I say very nearly, we essentially need a correct answer.

-OK.

-So we'll have no Switzerlands.

We want 92 or less from you and you can go through to the next round.

Yep. I'm going to say the Netherlands.

The Netherlands, says Elliott. The Netherlands. Your red line is there.

Let's see if you can get below that with the Netherlands.

You're through.

APPLAUSE

32.

-Taking your total up to 57.

-Well played, Elliott.

As we always say, it's the Netherlands, not Holland.

Although Holland does have seven letters,

-but that's not what we call it.

-No. Thank you, Richard. Now, Jeff.

-Yes.

Welcome to Pointless. Great to have you here. What do you do, Jeff?

-I'm a retired teacher.

-Lovely. When did you retire from that?

-About ten years ago now.

-I see. Do you miss it at all?

-No, not in the slightest.

-But many happy years teaching?

-Very many, yes.

-And what did you teach?

I was a geography and history teacher,

-and I was also a school councillor.

-Right, OK.

A lot of those might come into play, but certainly geography

at this point is going to be very handy indeed.

-Although Europe's changed a bit in the last ten years.

-It has.

Certainly the EU has. Well, there you are, you're on 44.

-In order to remain with us, you have to score 73 or less, Jeff.

-Yes.

I'm going to suggest Luxembourg.

Luxembourg, says Jeff. Luxembourg.

Here's your red line. Get below that and you are through to Round Two.

Let's see how many people said Luxembourg.

It's right.

And you're through. Good answer, Jeff.

-Lovely answer, 25.

-APPLAUSE

Your total goes up to 69.

Yeah, well-played, Jeff. Safely through, great answer. Luxembourg.

It's by far the richest country in the EU per capita.

-Yes, cos there are only seven of them.

-There are, and they are all quite rich.

Six of them are rich and there's one poor guy, who cooks

-for the other six. Yeah.

-Cuts their hair. Cleans up.

-Dave, he's called.

-Luxembourg Dave.

Luxembourg Dave, they call him. The poorest man in Luxembourg.

Now, Ad, welcome to Pointless. What do you do, Ad?

-I'm an artist and graphic designer.

-What sort of things do you design?

Did you design that tattoo that I can see there?

I had a hand in designing it,

but I gave a lot of the artwork to the tattoo artist herself.

-OK, very good.

-I have designed tattoos for people.

I mainly do a lot of band T-shirts, logos, album covers,

-that kind of thing.

-And what are your interests other than that?

-Heavy metal music.

-Heavy metal? Interesting.

I had you down more as sort of synthpop.

-I do like a bit of synthpop here and there.

-Do-do-do...

I really loved your Pointless Eurovision synthpop rendition.

-Fantastic.

-You're very kind, thank you.

I tell you what was missing from it, was a cracking axe solo there.

-You could have provided that. Do you play guitar?

-No, HE does.

Do you play in a band together?

We were in talks to be in a band together at one point,

but I'm a vocalist, he's a guitarist and multi-instrumentalist.

I see. And how long have you known each other?

We met when we were little kids, about the age of two, three,

-at nursery.

-I'm trying to picture you aged three, Ad!

LAUGHTER

-I'm guessing the beard was a bit shorter?

-It was, yeah, fortunately.

-Do you have to cut it or...?

-I do trim it.

I mean, how long would it go if you just didn't?

Would it just keep going and going?

A bit longer. Yeah, I'm hoping it will keep going.

I want a nice, long Merlin beard for when I'm old.

My plan is to retire and wear fishermen's jumpers

and have a big, white beard,

and then just work as Santa Claus around Christmas.

-That would do it, wouldn't it?

-Yeah.

-Six weeks' work, I'd have thought.

-You spend the rest of the year working on the belly.

-Yeah.

Busy on Christmas Eve, that's the only problem.

OK, now, you are through to the next round, which is great news.

-But we need an answer.

-It's really handy cos the whole way through,

and then Jeff's just stole my answer,

-so I'm going to stay Finland, at a push.

-Finland, at a push, says Ad.

Let's see if that's right and how many of our 100 people said it.

No red line for you cos you're already through.

It's right.

-APPLAUSE

-19.

-30 is your total. Very well done.

-Well-played, Ad.

Great score on that first podium, both of you.

There's only one Finnish word in the English language.

-What do you think that would be?

-Cagoule?

-It is not cagoule.

That's a shame.

-Sauna.

-Oh, that's nice.

-It is nice, isn't it?

-That is nice.

There are no pointless answers at all,

no low-scoring answers at all.

In fact, the lowest-scoring answer is Slovenia.

You could not have done better. The first answer we had. Terrific play.

Other low scorers, Slovakia, would have scored you 12

and Croatia would have scored you 14.

Those are the best answers you could have had.

Also 15 for Hungary, 17 for Czech Republic and Estonia.

Those are the best answers. Let's take a look at the top three,

the ones that most of our 100 people said. Portugal, third biggest, 44.

Ireland with 45 and Germany with 84.

I was thinking, "I bet it's France."

Then you think, "It's only got six letters, you idiot."

Thanks very much, Richard.

At the end of our first round,

the pair who are heading home with their high score of 118,

I'm sorry, it's Fee and Marin.

-Oh, dear. Switzerland!

-I feel a bit silly.

No, it's easily done.

I mean, Richard was going to say France, for heaven's sake.

We'll have to see you next time.

That's the end of your first Pointless experience.

Let's hope you go much further next time.

-Fee and Marin, thanks very much indeed.

-Thank you.

But for the three remaining pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

So, three pairs remain.

Obviously, at the end of this round, we will have to say goodbye

to another pair in time for our head-to-head round.

This is Round Two. Tom and Ad, well done.

Our lowest individual score there, Tom,

and our lowest overall score by quite a margin.

You'd appear to be the pair to beat. Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two today is...

It's literature.

Can you decide who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

Titles of novels that begin with "the".

Yep, we're about to show you a list of six 20th-century authors.

We need you to tell us the name of any adult novel

written by any of these six that begins with the word "the", please.

Thanks very much. As Richard's just mentioned,

we'll put six authors up on the board. They will remain on the board for the whole round.

We won't change them halfway through - they stay up there -

and we are looking for any novel by them

whose title's first word is "the".

Here are those six authors.

I'll read them all again.

Ad.

I can't say I know any of those authors

and I'm even struggling to think of a name of any book beginning

with the word "the",

so whatever I say is going to be a complete stab in the dark.

-So I'll go with Graham Greene, The Starlight.

-The Starlight, says Ad.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said it if it is.

I'm afraid not. An incorrect answer there, scoring you 100 points.

Sorry, Ad, again, it starts

with "the", so that was good,

but the second word let you down there, I'm afraid. LAUGHTER

But you're honestly 50% of the way to a terrific answer there.

-Thanks very much indeed, Richard. Now, Gemma.

-Yes...

-Gemma.

I think I'm going to take a bit of a guess

and go for Graham Greene again, and go for The Wind In The Willows.

-The Wind In The Willows?

-Yeah.

-OK. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said The Wind In The Willows.

No.

I'm sorry, I'm afraid an incorrect answer there, Gemma.

But you're in very good company. You're not alone on 100.

Yes, nothing for Wind In The Willows.

It is going terrifically well, this round, so far, isn't it? LAUGHTER

-You're getting mixed up with Kenneth Grahame, I'm afraid.

-Oh!

-Wind In The Willows.

-Thanks very much indeed. Now, Tim.

Er... Well, I've got sort of an idea,

mainly from the film background with John Grisham,

-so I'm going to say The Rainmaker.

-The Rainmaker, says Tim.

Let's see if that's right

and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

There you go, Tim. Well done.

-APPLAUSE

-Very well done indeed.

-Seven for The Rainmaker.

-Well done.

Very well-played, Tim.

Showing the confidence of a returning pair there.

As you say, it was a film with Matt Damon and Danny DeVito.

Thanks. We're halfway through the round. Let's look at those scores.

Seven the best score of that pass, by quite a margin, Tim.

Very well done. Tim and Elliott looking very strong.

Then 100 for Gemma and Jeff,

and 104 for Ad and Tom.

So Jeff and Tom, it's going to be between the pair of you

to come up with the most obscure novel

and whoever does that will be going through to the next round.

Best of luck. We'll come back down the line now.

Second players, please step up to the podium.

OK, so, Elliott, remember, we are looking for any novel

written by any of these authors whose title begins with "the".

I'm struggling somewhat, to be honest with you.

So, again, I'm going to try and go down the film route.

I'm going to go for John Grisham again and The Green Mile.

The Green Mile, says Elliott. Let's see if that's right.

Here's your red line.

If you get below that with The Green Mile,

you're through to the head-to-head.

Oooh, I'm afraid not The Green Mile. Not John Grisham.

That scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 107.

But I think, courtesy of Tim,

I think that's enough to get you through.

Yeah, that's a Stephen King novel, rather than John Grisham.

Thanks, Richard. Now Jeff, Jeff.

If you want to be absolutely certain of a place in the next round,

-you could try scoring six or less.

-Thank you.

I'm not too sure of any of them.

The only ones I do know I think are too easy.

But Graham Greene, I think, The Honorary Consulate.

The Honorary Consulate, says Jeff. The Honorary Consulate.

There's your red line.

Get below that and you are in the head-to-head.

The Honorary Consulate.

No. I'm so sorry, Jeff.

That's an incorrect answer, scores you 100 points.

Your total is 200.

Sorry, Jeff. I'll give the correct answers at the end of the pass.

Thanks very much indeed. Now, Tom.

-Tom.

-Yes.

-You have to score 99 or less.

If you score 100, we will enter a lockdown scenario.

I'm struggling, I'll be honest.

I can think of a few Douglas Adams books,

but I'm not sure whether they begin with "the".

That's my only kind of problem at the moment.

But I'm going to try and play it safe

and say The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy.

The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, says Tom.

Here's your red line.

Nice and high. Let's see if you can get below that

with The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy. Surely.

It's right and you are through to the head-to-head.

Very well done indeed, Tom.

-20. 20!

-APPLAUSE

120 is your total.

Phew. Thank you, Tom. Very well-played. 20 points for that.

Also The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe by Douglas Adams,

that would have scored nine.

And The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul would have scored one.

Jeff, you are very unlucky.

-It's not The Honorary Consulate, it's The Honorary Consul...

-Oh...

..I'm afraid. That was a pointless answer as well. AUDIENCE GROANS

-Never mind.

-Really, really unlucky.

Fortunately, we're going to have you back

and I suspect, with that sort of knowledge, you'll be fine.

It's just an unfortunate error. Lots and lots of pointless answers.

I should go through one of the biggest scoring ones, given how few we've had.

Almost all John Grisham's novels start with "the".

You've got The Firm, his biggest scorer for 19. The Pelican Brief, 15,

The Client, ten. Also a couple of pointless answers for him.

The Broker would have scored you nothing,

The Appeal and The Brethren - all of those pointless answers.

John Wyndham, the biggest scorer's The Day Of The Triffids,

that's the biggest score of 22.

Also The Midwich Cuckoos and The Kraken Wakes.

A couple of pointless answers for him.

The Curse Of The Burdens, The Secret People and The Outward Urge.

John Irving, The Cider House Rules, the biggest scorer there.

You could have had The Fourth Hand. The World According To Garp

was a pointless answer, another very famous novel,

and The 158-Pound Marriage.

Graham Greene, The Honorary Consul, The Confidential Agent,

also a pointless answer. The Ministry Of Fear, a pointless answer.

And Edith Wharton's biggest scorer was The Age Of Innocence, of course.

But low scorers, in fact pointless answers,

for The Mother's Recompense. The Touchstone was a pointless answer,

-The Reef and The Gods Arrive.

-Thanks, Richard.

At the end of our second round, the pair who are heading home

with their high score of 200, I'm afraid, Jeff and Gemma.

But as Richard says, we'll see you again next time

and I'm sure you'll do even better next time.

-We'll look forward to that. Thanks, Jeff and Gemma.

-Thank you.

But for Elliott and Tim, and Tom and Adam,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Tom and Ad, Elliott and Tim,

you are now one step closer to the final and a chance to play

for our jackpot, which currently stands at £2,000.

Very well done, Elliott and Tim.

Round One last time, through to the head-to-head.

Got to be pleased with that.

Always nice when you can confer before you give your answers.

An all-male head-to-head,

an enviable quantity of hair versus an awful lot of hair.

LAUGHTER

Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question, and it concerns...music producers.

Music producers. Richard?

We're about to show you five photos of music producers now.

Can you identify the most obscure?

Thank you, let's reveal our five music producers and here they come.

We have got...

There we go. Five music producers.

Tom and Ad, you've been our low scorers throughout,

so you will go first.

THEY WHISPER

We are going to go for A, and we are going to say it's Mark Ronson.

Mark Ronson, say Tom and Ad. Mark Ronson.

Now, Elliott and Tim, the board is yours.

Talk us through all our music producers up there.

Well, we would have gone for A. C's Dr Dre.

I'm not particularly sure who B is.

I suppose we are going to have to go...

Yeah, we'll know for B on the basis that we think Dr Dre

is going to be more than Mark Ronson.

So we will say Eddie Grant, but we don't think that's right.

Eddie Grant for B, Eddie Grant, interesting.

So Tom and Ad have said Mark Ronson for A.

Let's see if that's right

and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It is absolutely Mark Ronson.

-APPLAUSE

-17.

17 for Mark Ronson.

Elliott and Tim, taking a bit of a punt here,

but an interesting one, have said Eddie Grant for B.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said Eddie Grant.

-Ooh, I'm afraid not Eddie Grant.

-No.

-So well done, Tom and Ad.

After one question, you are up 1-0.

No, B is a man with a very high public profile recently.

Nile Rodgers, who played on Get Lucky with Daft Punk, a member of Chic.

It would have been a terrific answer,

would have scored you nine points.

And you threw away a point because it is Dr Dre,

and it would have scored you 15.

He became hip-hop's first billionaire.

He sold his headphones company to Apple for 3.2 billion.

How about that?

Now D is the woman who produced the Sugar Hill Gang Rapper's Delight,

first-ever hip-hop hit, and it's Sylvia Robinson.

She's a pointless answer, so very well done if you said that.

Founded Sugar Hill Records as well.

And E is another very good answer, it's the great Berry Gordy,

founder of Motown, would have scored you four points.

Thank you very much, Richard. Here comes your second question.

Elliott and Tim, you get to answer it first,

but you have to win it to stay in the game, so best of luck. It concerns...

20th-century prime ministers, Richard.

We're going to show you the initials

and the terms of office of five British prime ministers now.

Tell us who they are, please.

OK, let's reveal our five initials, and here they are. We've got...

I'll read those one last time.

-Elliott and Tim, it's over to you.

-WHISPERING:

-AE is Antony Eden...

No...

THEY WHISPER

Are you sure he was the Prime Minister? Yeah?

We will go for the penultimate one, AE, as Anthony Eden.

Anthony Eden, say Elliott and Tim. Anthony Eden.

Now, Tom and Ad, talk us through the board, if you can.

The first one is Clement Attlee.

The second one I think is Neville Chamberlain.

Then Harold Macmillan and, finally, possibly Andrew Bonar Law.

I think we'll take a stab

and go for the bottom one

-as Andrew Bonar Law.

-Andrew Bonar Law, say Tom and Ad.

So we have Anthony Eden versus Andrew Bonar Law.

Now, Elliott and Tim have said Anthony Eden.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

-44 for Anthony Eden.

-APPLAUSE

Now, Tom and Ad have gone for Andrew Bonar Law.

Let's see if that's right. If it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

No, I'm sorry. A good punt to take, but I'm afraid an incorrect answer.

Which means well done, Elliott and Tim, back in the game.

After two questions, it's 1-1.

Too early for Andrew Bonar Law, I'm afraid. That's Arthur Balfour.

Would have scored you four points, the best answer up there.

Very well done if you said that one at home.

Funnily enough, Neville Chamberlain would have won you the point

cos he only would have scored you 38.

Clement Attlee at the top, you're quite right,

he would have scored you 46.

And the biggest scorer on the board, Harold Macmillan, 48.

Thank you, Richard. Here comes your third question.

Whoever wins this goes through to the final and plays for that jackpot.

Best of luck to both pairs. It concerns...

-Zara Phillips, Richard?

-Yep, we are simply going to give you

five clues to facts about Zara Phillips.

Can you give us the most secure answer? Best of luck, both teams.

OK, let's reveal our five Zara Phillips facts and here they come.

We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

Now, Tom and Ad, you will go first this time.

THEY WHISPER

The year she was born, '80, '81, something like that.

Maybe '82...

I don't know, '83, '84...?

I think we're going to have to go for probably the most obvious

one, which is in October 2013 she became godmother to Prince George.

OK, Prince George, say Tom and Ad.

So, Elliott and Tim, the board is all yours.

-Do you fancy talking us through it?

-Well, I think...

Well, I shouldn't really reveal my age,

but I think she's a year younger than me,

so I think she might have been born early '80s, but I'm not 100% sure.

With Mike Tindall being a rugby player, she might...

maybe somewhere like Gloucester or somewhere like that. I don't know.

I think we're going to plump for the last one, aren't we?

Do you know the last one?

I don't know the last one - her name.

I think it's Ella.

I'll go with you, mate. Go for your gut feel, go for Ella.

-Yeah, I'm going to go for Ella.

-You're going to say Ella.

So we have Prince George and we have Ella.

Tom and Ad have said Prince George. Let's see if that's right

and, if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Prince George.

-Oh, it's a high one. 75.

-APPLAUSE

Elliott and Tim, meanwhile,

have said the name of her first daughter is Ella.

Let's see if that's right and, if it is, let's see how many people said that.

Oh, I'm sorry, Elliott and Tim. I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer,

which means well done, Tom and Ad.

After three questions, you are through to the final 2-1.

Yeah, her daughter is called Mia. It would have scored you 11 points.

-If you'd had to guess the year she was born...

-I would have gone '81.

'81 would have scored you seven points.

Literally every single round has had answers that people should

-have gone for and didn't go for. The award that she won...

-IBE?

No, the BBC Sports Personality of the Year. Would have scored you 13.

And they were married...

Gloucester's not a bad guess, but it was actually Edinburgh.

Edinburgh's where they were married and that was 21 points.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head,

I'm so sorry, Tim and Elliott.

Very strong performance from you today and you knew answers.

At least you had a shot. But it's a great shame to be saying goodbye.

It's been great having you on both shows.

-Elliott and Tim, great contestants. Thanks so much.

-Thank you.

But for Tom and Ad, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Well, congratulations, Tom and Ad. You've seen off all the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot and,

at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £2,000.

CHEERING

You've done very, very well.

What would you like to see come up in this last round?

Famous people that have appeared in The Simpsons, horror films,

obscure black metal band logos...

LAUGHTER

OK. As always, you get to choose your category from the four we put up on the board.

Let's hope there's something there you like the look of.

Today's selection looks like this.

Well, you know a lot about elements and stuff,

so if it's about gold, then...

Yeah, but it could be quite spurious and be...

It could be about jewellery as well.

It could songs from Abba's Greatest Hits album or something like that.

Yes, that's a no-go. What about Irish actors?

Unless they're on Game Of Thrones...

-Shall we go for gold and see...?

-Yeah, let's go for gold.

-We're going for gold.

-Going for gold, well done you. Richard.

I think you've made the right choice, actually.

I hope at least one of these is good for you.

We're looking for anybody according to IMDB who received an acting

credit in the movie GoldenEye.

We are looking for any element

that is next to gold in the periodic table,

so above it, below it, or diagonal, or next to it,

so those eight elements that surround gold in the periodic table.

Or we're looking for the name of any act who has ever had

a UK top 40 single with the word "gold" or "golden" in the title.

It has to be specifically one of those two words,

not as part of a longer word.

So actors in GoldenEye, the elements that surround gold

in the periodic table, those eight elements,

and any act who's had a top 40 single with "gold" or "golden" in the title.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed.

As always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers.

And if you're going to walk away with that £2,000 jackpot,

-just one of those answers has to be pointless. Are you ready?

-Yes.

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. There they are.

-Your time starts now.

-Right, periodic table.

-Not sure, to be fair.

-Not sure?

-No, I'm not too good on the positions.

-OK. GoldenEye.

-I'd say...

Helen Mirren? The obvious one's Pierce Brosnan.

Yeah, Pierce Brosnan's the obvious one.

What about acts who've had a top 40 single with "gold"?

We could go GoldenEye, but it's one word, so it might not count.

What about Goldie Lookin' Chain? Didn't he have a song about Goldie Lookin' Chain

-or something like that?

-I'm not sure. Spandau Ballet.

-Yeah, Spandau Ballet.

-Fields Of Gold, that was Sting.

-Or was that The Police?

-No, I think it was Sting.

-It was Sting, OK.

-That's one answer.

-I'm not sure.

We could have a stab at some elements in the periodic table

-and hope they...

-Yeah, I think that's a good way to go

-as they're more likely to be pointless answers.

-Yeah.

What about actors in GoldenEye? Any idea on any...obscure ones?

-No, I'm not really a Bond fan.

-Ten seconds left.

So I think, guesses on the periodic table and Spandau Ballet for...

-No, not Spandau Ballet.

-Who do you want?

-Sting.

-Sting, yeah.

-Yeah, go on. Yeah?

-OK, that's your time up. I need your three answers,

and please say which category you are answering in.

For acts who have had a UK top 40 single with "gold" or "golden"

-in the title, we're going to say Sting.

-Sting.

-Um...and we'll have a guess at Spandau Ballet as well.

-Spandau Ballet.

And elements in the periodic table,

-we'll have a guess at mercury.

-Mercury, OK.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Probably Sting.

-Sting if it's right, or mercury if it's right.

-Mercury if it's right, but it's probably not.

-Yeah.

-It's a bit of a stab in the dark.

-I'll go with Sting.

-OK, Sting goes last. Least likely to be pointless?

Probably Mercury cos it's probably wrong.

OK, we'll put mercury first and then Spandau Ballet in the middle.

Let's pop those answers up on the board in that order.

Here they are. We've got mercury, Spandau Ballet and Sting.

Well, very best of luck.

Your first answer was the one you thought was least likely

to be pointless and that was mercury.

We were looking for elements that are next to gold

on the periodic table.

Now remember, only one of these has to be pointless for you to win

that jackpot. What would you do with that 2,000 quid if you won it?

We were talking about it earlier, festival tickets.

We'll probably just blow it going to festivals...tickets and gigs.

Brilliant. Excellent. Well, as I say, very, very best of luck.

Mercury.

We're looking for neighbours of gold on the periodic table.

It has to be right, obviously,

then it has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot.

So, for £2,000, let's see how many people said mercury. Is it right?

It is right! I think you knew that all along, Tom.

I didn't buy that for a minute.

Down mercury goes, through the 20s,

through the teens into single figures, still going down...

Still going down... Three!

-APPLAUSE

-Oh!

-Well, that was fun.

-Not bad for a stab in the dark.

Yeah, not bad at all.

Lovely low score. Sadly not a pointless answer,

which means you only have two more shots at the jackpot.

Your next answer was Spandau Ballet.

In this case, we were looking for acts who have had UK top 40 hits

containing the words "gold" or "golden".

Let's find out, for £2,000, how many people said Spandau Ballet.

It's right.

Well, your first answer, mercury, was absolutely spot on

and took us all the way down to three. Spandau Ballet...

-Ooh, 35.

-APPLAUSE

35, quite a high score there.

But I think Spandau Ballet

-was just for filling a space, I think, wasn't it?

-Yes.

I think your proper answer, the one you were most confident in,

was Sting, your third and final one.

Again, we're looking for acts with the words "gold" or "golden"

in a UK top 40 hit.

Let's see Sting, for £2,000, how many people said it.

Is it pointless?

It's right.

All three answers have been right, mercury took us down to three.

Spandau Ballet took us down to 35.

Sting now in single figures, down it goes,

still going down, down it goes...

Oh, one!

APPLAUSE

Two very, very good answers there.

Two of them very, very close to pointless,

but I'm afraid you just didn't manage to find that all-important

pointless answer, so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £2,000.

That will roll over to the next show.

But you have done so well. What a credit to you this show has been.

Some great answers, right across the show,

particularly that first round. Really strong there.

And you get a Pointless trophy to take home each,

so well done for that.

Very well-played, gents. You did very well in that jackpot round as well,

getting very low answers from two different categories.

Let's look at all the different pointless answers.

Actors in GoldenEye, Alan Cumming's in that film, Joe Don Baker,

Minnie Driver, Samantha Bond, who plays Miss Moneypenny.

In fact, everybody apart from Pierce Brosnan, who you mentioned, 37,

Judi Dench, ten. Sean Bean, eight, Robbie Coltrane, two, and Famke Beumer Janssen, one.

Everybody else in that film was a pointless answer.

Let's take a look at the next category.

Any element next to gold. Only four of them that are pointless -

cadmium, copernicium, darmstadtium and roentgenium.

Very well done if you got any of those at home, terrific.

The other four next to them are silver, platinum and palladium

and mercury, which you already gave us - all of those scored points.

Acts who have had a top 40 single. East 17 had a hit with Gold,

Shed Seven, you said you were going for gold

and they had a hit with Going For Gold, top ten hit.

Solid Gold Easy Action by T Rex, another top ten hit.

And our favourite, The Wanted, Gold Forever, another top ten hit.

Other bands you could have had...

Biffy Clyro would have been a pointless answer there.

You could have had Ian Brown, or Kanye West, Gold Digger - that was a pointless answer.

-You could have had Motorhead, if that's of any interest to you.

-Oh!

Sorry. That was the Golden Years EP, which was a top 40 hit.

You could have had The Wonder Stuff, Golden Green...

Razorlight, Golden Touch. Lots of pointless answers there.

-Unlucky, guys.

-Well, thanks very much.

Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye.

It's been wonderful having you.

Great performance. Thank you so much for playing.

-Tom and Ad, great contestants.

-APPLAUSE

Sadly, Tom and Ad didn't win our jackpot today, which means

it rolls over on to the next show, when we will be playing for £3,000.

-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard...

-Goodbye.

..and it's goodbye from me, goodbye.