Episode 48 Pointless


Episode 48

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Transcript


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APPLAUSE

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Thank you very much indeed.

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Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless,

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the show that makes big winners out of the lowest scorers.

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Let's meet today's players.

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APPLAUSE

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And couple number one.

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Hello there, my name's Sue, this is my husband Ralph, we're from York.

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Couple number two.

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Hi, I'm Chris, this is my friend Illy,

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and we're work colleagues from Blackpool.

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-Couple number three.

-Hi, my name's Joanna,

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and this is my daughter Polly, and we're from Birmingham.

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And finally, couple number four.

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Hi, I'm Alistair, this is my sister Lucy,

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and we are from South East London.

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And these are today's contestants.

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APPLAUSE

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Well, thank you very much indeed. A very warm welcome to you all.

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We will get to chat to each of you throughout the show as it goes along.

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So, that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

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Angling for his own superhero movie spin-off,

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but apparently, pedantry isn't a proper power.

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It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

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Hiya. Hi, everybody.

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APPLAUSE

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-Did you say "ped-antry"?

-Pedantry.

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It's pee-dantry. Goodness me.

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LAUGHTER

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Er, if I was a superhero, I'd be called Os-Man.

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Yeah, good. Os-Man.

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And you can be Arm Strong.

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AUDIENCE GROAN

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It already sounds like a superhero name, doesn't it? Wait a minute!

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LAUGHTER

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It sounds to me like the box office is not going too well

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-for Os-Man and Arm Strong.

-I don't know.

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Goodness me. Now, we've got only one returning pair

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from our last show, and we didn't see enough of them.

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It's Chris and Illy on podium two. They're very entertaining,

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but got knocked out, unluckily, in Round One. I say unluckily.

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They got a wrong answer, but it's kind of unlucky.

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I can see where the wrong answer came from, Illy.

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Round One, it's not going to be everybody's cup of tea.

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Perfect for some people, damage limitation for others,

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-I would suggest.

-OK, not everyone's cup of tea.

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Well, Nancy and Alfred - let's just cheer ourselves up -

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didn't win the jackpot, very sad for Nancy and Alfred, but quite exciting.

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It means we add another £1,000 to that, so today's jackpot is,

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it's swelling slightly, we have a jackpot of £2,000.

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Look at that. APPLAUSE

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Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

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There's only one rule you have to remember,

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and it is this - the pair with the highest score at the end of each

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round will be eliminated, so do what you can not to be that pair.

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OK, our first category this afternoon is...

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THEY LAUGH

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There we are, everyone's cup of tea, football.

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Podium two seem very happy with that.

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Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first and second,

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and whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

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OK, let's find out what that question is. Here it comes.

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We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many...

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..as they could.

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2014-2015 Champions League teams.

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That's not so bad, a sort of geography question, isn't it?

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-Not really.

-LAUGHTER

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We are looking for the name of any clubs who qualified

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for the last 32 of the 2014-2015 Champions League, please.

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-Very best of luck.

-Thank you very much indeed.

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Now, Sue, welcome. You're from York.

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-Thank you.

-What do you do, Sue?

-I'm retired now.

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I retired eight years ago. I was a marketing manager in a university.

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-At the University of York?

-Yes, yes.

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University of York out there, so people knew it was there and knew to apply?

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My particular speciality was health sciences,

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so we were recruiting people to work as nurses and mid...

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-to train as nurses and midwives.

-Up at York, very good.

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And you've been retired eight years. What have you been doing with your retirement?

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Since then, I've done a PhD and written a book.

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Yeah, OK, you haven't really done that much then, have you(?)

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Just a different kind of work, I suppose. But fun. What's your book on?

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Well, it's based on the research, which is railway history. York's a good place to study that.

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It's a great place for railway history, absolutely.

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Railway history and Vikings, two things you can find in York.

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OK, now, Sue...

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Football. Champions League Teams, 2014-15.

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This isn't brilliant for me, but we are Sunderland supporters,

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but unfortunately they weren't in the Champions League.

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-I'm going to go for Feyenoord.

-Feyenoord.

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OK, let's see if that's right,

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let's see how many of our 100 people said it if it is...

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Oh, I'm sorry, Sue. Do you know what, I bet it's not

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the last of those we see this round, but I'm afraid it is 100 points.

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Sorry, Sue. I tell you what, it's an admirably impressive wrong answer.

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It's a very specific wrong answer, Feyenoord, you know,

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they have played many, many times in Europe, Feyenoord,

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but not in this, I'm afraid.

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Thanks very much indeed. So, Chris. Welcome back.

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-We discovered last time you're a train driver.

-I am, yes.

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Which is just too exciting for words. How long have you been driving?

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I've been driving just over three years now.

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OK, were you on the services before that?

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Yes, I was in the same job as Illy, so beforehand I was a conductor.

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Have you always wanted to go up to the front of the train?

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Yeah, to be fair, there's where I wanted to be.

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-It's a good place to be.

-Oh, isn't it? It's a fantastic place to be.

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Right, what would you like to go for, Chris? Champions League 2014-15.

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Well, yeah, I've got a couple of options.

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One sticks out because, if I remember rightly, there was some

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interesting history behind where they had to play their games,

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-so I'm going to go Shakhtar Donetsk.

-Shakhtar Donetsk.

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Shakhtar Donetsk.

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Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

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It is right, Chris.

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I think that's a very good answer.

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4, very well done indeed, Chris.

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APPLAUSE

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I think Round Two beckons.

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Yeah, reached the last 16, Shakhtar Donetsk. Very well played.

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Thank you, Richard. Now, then, Joanna. Welcome here from Birmingham.

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-What do you do, Joanna?

-I'm a clinical nurse specialist.

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And what kind of specialism?

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I work with ladies who are newly diagnosed with breast cancer.

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-OK, and how long have you done that?

-Erm, about 15 years.

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Right, I see, and what are your interests outside medicine?

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Well, I do like gardening, I like interior design,

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I do quite like to do a little bit of running.

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Now, when you say interior design, does that mean your own house

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or have you been entrusted with the interiors of others?

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-Oh, no, my own house.

-I see, OK.

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-Very good. Do you feel a room is ever finished, or do you...?

-No.

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-No, you're always working.

-Always primping and preening.

-A work in progress. Very good.

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Now, Joanna, what would you like to go for?

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Yes, I'm just going to say Bayern Munich.

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Bayern Munich, says Joanna.

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Bayern Munich. Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

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Perfectly respectable answer there, Joanna, very well done indeed.

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Bayern Munich, down it goes.

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29.

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APPLAUSE

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That'll do.

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Yeah, just semifinalists, that year, Bayern Munich. They're from Munich.

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Oh, I see. LAUGHTER

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-That's where the name comes from.

-Right. Yes. Yes.

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They moved. They were originally called Bayern Wolverhampton.

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LAUGHTER

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-And then moved to Munich.

-Thank you very much, Richard.

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-OK, now, Lucy, a warm welcome to you, from London.

-Yes.

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-What do you do, Lucy?

-Erm, I work in research and brand strategy.

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You're a sort of independent agency, are you?

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Yeah, I work in a small agency in Soho. We do qualitative...

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well, I do qualitative research, so focus groups, interviews,

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-that sort of thing.

-Questionnaires and things like that?

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Well, because it's qualitative, it's more discursive,

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so it's more like having a group of people and getting them

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to all discuss something and feed off each other.

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It's a lot of coffee, isn't it? A lot of sitting around with some coffee.

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-Yeah, it's quite relaxed.

-Coffee and pastries.

-Yeah.

-Very nice.

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Lucy. Champions League Teams.

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I'm not sure what the Champions League is,

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so I'm guessing it's European football teams,

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-so I'm going to guess Inter Milan.

-Inter Milan.

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Inter Milan, says Lucy.

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Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many people said it if it is.

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Oh, bad luck. Bad luck, Lucy.

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I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer as well, scores you 100 points,

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but you are in very good company here.

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And your working-out was perfect, because it is what it is and they

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are perennial qualifiers as well, but not 2014-2015, I'm afraid.

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-Good wrong guess, though.

-Yeah, a good wrong guess.

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Thank you. We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at those scores.

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4, Chris. Got to be pleased with that.

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Chris and Illy looking very strong, invincible, even,

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I'd say, at this point.

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Then up to 29, Joanna and Polly,

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looking none too shabby there either,

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and then we go up to the 100,

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where we find Lucy and Alistair,

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Sue and Ralph..

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So, yes, Alistair and Ralph, it is between the pair of you

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for who's going to be staying with us

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and who will be leaving, so best of luck.

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We'll come back down the line now. Can the second players please step up to the podium?

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So, now, Alistair, a very warm welcome to Pointless to you.

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-What do you do, Alistair?

-I'm an actor.

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What acting are you doing?

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-Any work that you can get.

-Yep.

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It's hard to come by, sometimes.

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-Famously.

-Right now I'm kind of doing some theatre shows,

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-kind of as and when, really.

-Are you attached to a theatre company?

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I am, I am. I run my own theatre company called Gruff.

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-You write all your own shows?

-Right now we're working with another theatre company.

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-We're developing a project together.

-I see.

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That's a brilliant thing to do, starting your own company.

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Gets things going, means you're all busy doing stuff,

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you've got lots of stuff to invite people to. Best of luck to you.

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Now, you're on 100 points. We need, we need a low scorer,

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otherwise we have to say goodbye to you.

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Yeah, OK, I'm probably going a bit riskier than I thought

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I probably should, so I will go with FC Basel.

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-FC Basel.

-Yes.

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FC Basel. Well, no red line for you,

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as obviously you're joint high-scorers,

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but let's see how far down the column you get with FC Basel.

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Good luck.

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It's right.

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Oh, it's a good answer.

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Alistair, it's a great answer.

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Look at that, 4, you equal our low score from Chris.

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APPLAUSE

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104 to the Gruff lad over there.

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And if you ever want an acting masterclass on how to look

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crestfallen, I would say look at Ralph's face as that...

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LAUGHTER

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..as that podium started coming down.

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Yes, Swiss team, got knocked out in the last 16, Basel.

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Thank you very much, Richard.

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-Now, Polly, a warm welcome to you.

-Hello.

-What do you do, Polly?

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-I'm a classics student at Exeter University.

-Which year are you in?

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-First year.

-First year. How has it gone?

-I'm loving it.

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It's been amazing. Really enjoying it.

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-Is it everything you hoped it would be and more?

-Yes.

-How's the course?

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Really interesting. Get to do a bit of everything,

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so I do a little bit of ancient language, a little bit of

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modern language, and some literature,

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-and a little bit of history as well.

-Very good.

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What are your interests when you're not hard at work,

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-as I'm sure you are much of the time?

-Yes, I know!

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Working hard or hardly working.

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Erm, I've recently started brewing my own beer,

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-which has been quite nice.

-See, there we are.

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That's... There's a hobby. You see, there's a hobby.

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All this sport and stuff. Did you buy it in a kit form?

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-Yes.

-Yes.

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My dad's quite into it, so he's got me into it.

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That's quite good, so you've got his expertise.

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-His expertise and also his purse.

-Is it nice?

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I mean, I have drunk some home-brew that's just tasted very much

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-home-brewed.

-I really enjoy it. I quite like it.

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My flatmates are less convinced, but...

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-That's fine, it means no-one else will nick it. That's great.

-Exactly.

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OK, now, Polly, you are on 29.

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The high-scorers at the moment are behind you,

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Alistair and Lucy on 104. 74 or less gets you through.

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Yeah.

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I've got flatmates at home that are screaming at me

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because they know that I won't know anything about this,

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so I'm going to go with their team and say Tottenham Hotspur.

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Tottenham Hotspur, says Polly. OK, here's your red line.

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If you get below that red line with Tottenham Hotspur,

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you're through to the next round.

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Let's see how many people said Tottenham Hotspur.

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Ooh! Polly, I'm so sorry.

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That's an incorrect answer.

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129 is your total.

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That's thrown a lifeline to Ralph there on podium one.

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He greeted that with a poker face as well, Ralph.

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That was very impressive, I have to say.

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Yes, all your friends are Spurs fans and

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they would like the fact that you mentioned them, but then

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they'll be going, "You thought WE were in the Champions League?"

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LAUGHTER

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-Poor old Spurs.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

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-Now then, Illy, welcome back.

-Thank you.

-Remind us what you do.

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I'm a conductor for the same company that Chris works for.

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Very exciting.

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"Tickets, please," and clicking tickets, is that it?

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-And getting you safely from your...

-I beg your pardon.

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-Yeah, safety first.

-Now sometimes...

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Safety first, thank you for putting me right on that.

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Sometimes, the conductor on my train line

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just gets a biro and just goes...

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hands back the ticket.

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You used to get the little number, maybe a 2 or something.

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What people do is when you stamp the tickets, they rub it off.

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RICHARD GASPS

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-And then re-use the tickets.

-Oh, really?

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So this is why we use pens now, marker pens and Biros.

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I see. I see. Well, I've just learned a bit of train lore, there.

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OK, now then, Illy, the moment has come. Your moment of glory.

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Can we get lower than Chris?

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Probably not, but I'm going to go for Paris Saint-Germain.

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Paris Saint-Germain, says Illy.

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No red line for you.

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Let's see how far down the column we get with Paris Saint-Germain.

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It's right.

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Question is, can you beat the 4, though?

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Oh, 27. Not bad at all, though, Illy.

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APPLAUSE 27 takes you up to 31.

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Lowest total of the round.

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Yeah, got knocked out in the quarterfinals, PSG,

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but safely through to the next round. Well played.

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Thanks very much, Richard.

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OK, now then, Ralph, a very warm welcome to Pointless.

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It's lovely to have you here.

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What keeps you busy up in York, Ralph?

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I have an allotment and I cycle, and when I retired, I did an MA.

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So I haven't been as busy as my wife.

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But right back into academia there.

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But the allotment, that sounds nice. How long have you had your allotment?

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-Eight years now.

-Eight years, and what do you grow on it?

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Lettuces, leeks, potatoes...

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-Don't tend to have much luck with parsnips and carrots.

-Oh, really?

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Why, bugs getting underground into the soil?

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It's ideal soil, but they just don't seem to want to grow.

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But do you find that from spring till autumn,

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-you're kept pretty much in full supply?

-Yes, yes.

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-See, that's good, isn't it?

-It is.

-Very satisfying.

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-It's cheaper than the gym.

-Yeah. LAUGHTER

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Right, Ralph, the moment of truth is on us. 28 or less.

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You are comfortable with this as a category, Ralph?

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-Reasonably, but I feel I've really got to have a go.

-Yeah.

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So I'm going to say Copenhagen FC.

0:14:440:14:48

Copenhagen FC.

0:14:480:14:50

OK, let's see if that's right,

0:14:500:14:52

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

0:14:520:14:54

Here is your red line.

0:14:540:14:55

I'd like it to be higher, but there we are.

0:14:550:14:58

Bad luck, Ralph, I'm sorry. That scores you 100 points,

0:15:040:15:07

takes your total up to 200.

0:15:070:15:10

Oh-ho, Polly and Joanna...

0:15:100:15:11

secretly rather relieved there. Or perhaps not so secretly.

0:15:110:15:14

Anyway, I'm sorry, Ralph.

0:15:140:15:16

That is a really unfortunate 200 as well, I have to say,

0:15:160:15:19

they got knocked out in the qualifying rounds, FC Copenhagen.

0:15:190:15:22

Both very good answers on that podium, so very unlucky.

0:15:220:15:25

I'll give you the answers that would have seen you through.

0:15:250:15:27

So, everything that got less than 4.

0:15:270:15:30

You would have got 2 points for Roma or Benfica,

0:15:300:15:33

1 for CSKA Moscow, 1 for Zenit St Petersburg,

0:15:330:15:35

1 for Bayer Leverkusen, Schalke and Olympiakos,

0:15:350:15:38

and here are the pointless answers.

0:15:380:15:40

Very well done if you got any of these.

0:15:400:15:42

Anderlecht from Belgium, APOEL from Cyprus,

0:15:420:15:46

Spanish club Athletic Bilbao, BATE Borisov,

0:15:460:15:49

Malmo from Sweden, Maribor from Slovenia...

0:15:490:15:52

-and Sporting Lisbon.

-Thanks, Richard.

0:15:520:15:54

So, at the end of our first round, the pair who are heading home,

0:15:540:15:57

with their high score of 200, I am so sorry, Ralph and Sue.

0:15:570:16:00

We landed you right in football on your first touch with Pointless.

0:16:000:16:04

We will see you again next time, when I have absolutely no doubt

0:16:040:16:07

you will soar through to the head-to-head and beyond.

0:16:070:16:10

But meantime, thanks very much for playing, Ralph and Sue.

0:16:100:16:13

APPLAUSE

0:16:130:16:16

For the remaining three pairs, it is now time for Round Two.

0:16:160:16:19

Ooh, and look at that, we are suddenly down to three pairs.

0:16:230:16:25

At the end of this round, we will be down to two pairs,

0:16:250:16:28

so one of the pairs will have to leave.

0:16:280:16:30

Best of luck to all three pairs,

0:16:300:16:32

our category for Round Three today is famous people.

0:16:320:16:35

Can you all decide in your pairs,

0:16:350:16:37

who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

0:16:370:16:39

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

0:16:390:16:42

OK, the question concerns...

0:16:450:16:47

-Richard.

-On each board, we are going to show you six birth names

0:16:500:16:53

of people who are better known by a pseudonym.

0:16:530:16:55

Can you give us that pseudonym, please?

0:16:550:16:57

12 in all to have a go at home, very best of luck.

0:16:570:16:59

Thanks very much indeed. Let's reveal our first board of six birth names.

0:16:590:17:03

Chris, it's over to you. How do you like our pseudonymous board?

0:17:400:17:46

Not too great, to be fair.

0:17:460:17:48

There is a couple I think I know, but I will go for the top one

0:17:480:17:52

because I am sure, and I will go George Orwell.

0:17:520:17:55

George Orwell, says Chris.

0:17:550:17:56

Let's see how many of our 100 people agree with George Orwell.

0:17:560:17:59

It's right.

0:18:010:18:02

APPLAUSE

0:18:060:18:09

42 for George Orwell.

0:18:090:18:11

Yeah, they say he took his surname from the River Orwell,

0:18:110:18:14

which is near Ipswich.

0:18:140:18:16

Mmm. Interesting. Now, Polly...

0:18:160:18:20

-George Orwell was the only one I knew.

-Ah.

0:18:200:18:23

But I am pretty sure Priscilla White is Cilla Black.

0:18:230:18:26

That'd be good. Let's find out. Cilla Black, is that right?

0:18:270:18:31

It's absolutely right. Well, 42 was what George Orwell scored.

0:18:330:18:36

Cilla Black is 51.

0:18:360:18:38

Not bad.

0:18:390:18:40

Yeah, and that was an accidental name change,

0:18:420:18:44

she was incorrectly referred to as Cilla Black

0:18:440:18:46

in the Mersey Beat newspaper and the name just stuck.

0:18:460:18:49

There we go. Now, Lucy...

0:18:490:18:51

that board is all yours, you want to talk us through it?

0:18:510:18:53

No, I don't know any of them, I don't think.

0:18:530:18:56

But I'm going to guess the second one down, Andy Warhol.

0:18:560:18:59

Just because that sounds like a made-up name.

0:18:590:19:01

Andy Warhol, says Lucy. Let's see if that is right,

0:19:010:19:04

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Andy Warhol.

0:19:040:19:08

-Sorry.

-That is a very, very good guess, Lucy.

0:19:110:19:14

But I'm afraid it is incorrect, it scores you 100 points.

0:19:140:19:17

Another good wrong answer.

0:19:170:19:18

-Andy Warhol is a made-up name, but this is Man Ray.

-Ah.

0:19:180:19:23

Of course, of course.

0:19:230:19:24

That would have scored you 2 points.

0:19:240:19:26

-Spy Who Came in from the cold?

-John le Carre.

-John le Carre.

0:19:260:19:29

Would have scored you 11. The American outlaw?

0:19:290:19:32

Butch Cassidy? I'll take a punt on it.

0:19:320:19:34

-It is.

-Yes!

-4 points for that. And the Bucks Fizz singer...

0:19:340:19:37

-Is Cheryl Baker.

-Yep.

0:19:370:19:39

And that would have scored you 25.

0:19:390:19:41

Thank you very much indeed. Well, we are halfway through the round,

0:19:410:19:45

let's take a look at the scores. Chris and Illy,

0:19:450:19:47

our low-scorers for the second time. 42.

0:19:470:19:49

Then up to 51, where we find Polly and Joanna - not bad.

0:19:490:19:52

And then up to 100, I'm sorry, Lucy, a very good guess,

0:19:520:19:55

but wrong in the event.

0:19:550:19:56

But, Alistair, when you get that new board,

0:19:560:19:59

you have got to find a really, really, really obscure answer

0:19:590:20:02

and hope that it is enough to keep you in the game.

0:20:020:20:04

We are going to come back down the line now,

0:20:040:20:06

can the second players please step up to the podium?

0:20:060:20:10

OK, let's put six more birth names and clues on the board.

0:20:100:20:14

-Alistair...

-Mmm.

0:20:570:20:58

Yes, it is not as nice a board as I have would have liked to have

0:20:580:21:01

-turned round for you, Alistair. I'm sorry.

-No.

0:21:010:21:04

-I'm just going to have a guess.

-Mm-hmm.

0:21:040:21:06

And I will say the knighted singer-songwriter is going to be,

0:21:060:21:10

I don't know, Stevie Wonder.

0:21:100:21:12

Sir Stevie Wonder, right you are, OK.

0:21:130:21:16

No red line for you, as you are the high-scorers,

0:21:160:21:18

but let's see how many of our 100 said Stevie Wonder.

0:21:180:21:22

I'm sorry, I'm afraid that is an incorrect answer, Alistair,

0:21:260:21:29

scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 200.

0:21:290:21:32

Yeah, I'm going to say that is a less good 200

0:21:320:21:34

than we saw in the first round.

0:21:340:21:36

Yeah, he was Stevland Judkins, Stevie Wonder.

0:21:360:21:39

-Stevland?

-Stevland.

-That's great.

0:21:390:21:42

Now, Joanna, listen, there is a big safety net beneath you now.

0:21:420:21:46

In that you are already through to the head-to-head, even if

0:21:460:21:49

you score 100 - but you won't!

0:21:490:21:51

I think I know three. One I think I know very well,

0:21:510:21:54

so I am going to have a bit of a risky guess maybe,

0:21:540:21:57

but I think it's right,

0:21:570:21:58

I think Cracker and Harry Potter actor is Robbie Coltrane.

0:21:580:22:01

Robbie Coltrane.

0:22:010:22:03

No red line, you are already through. How many people said Robbie Coltrane?

0:22:030:22:07

25, bad not at all. 76 is your total.

0:22:150:22:19

Well played, Joanna, took the name Coltrane

0:22:200:22:22

because of his love of jazz.

0:22:220:22:24

There we go. Thanks, Richard. Now, Illy...

0:22:240:22:27

again, you are through to the head-to-head,

0:22:270:22:30

which is spectacular news. Do you fancy talking us through

0:22:300:22:32

that board and seeing how many of them you care to name?

0:22:320:22:35

The top one is Pele.

0:22:350:22:36

The second one is Max Factor,

0:22:360:22:39

and the third one I'm going to go for is Sir Elton John.

0:22:390:22:41

Sir Elton John, OK.

0:22:410:22:43

No red line, you are already through, how many people said Elton John?

0:22:430:22:47

It's right.

0:22:490:22:50

47, not bad. 89 is your total,

0:22:530:22:56

through you go.

0:22:560:22:58

Well played, Illy.

0:22:590:23:00

It's actually the biggest score of the ones you knew, that one.

0:23:000:23:03

You're right about Pele, Edson Arantes do Nascimento,

0:23:030:23:06

would have scored you 27.

0:23:060:23:09

That Max Factor might be one of my favourite things

0:23:090:23:11

I've ever seen on Pointless.

0:23:110:23:12

That Max Factor's real name was Maksymilian Faktorowicz.

0:23:120:23:15

-Which is what you would make up.

-Exactly.

-Isn't that brilliant?

0:23:150:23:19

Would have scored 10 points.

0:23:190:23:21

The 1985 world chess champion is...

0:23:210:23:23

-BOTH:

-..Garry Kasparov.

-17 points for that.

0:23:230:23:25

The best answer on the board is the welterweight bare-knuckle boxer,

0:23:250:23:29

but often fought heavyweights as well,

0:23:290:23:31

and he was Kid McCoy.

0:23:310:23:33

2 points for that, very well done if you said that.

0:23:330:23:35

Thank you very much.

0:23:350:23:37

OK, so at the end of our second round, Alistair and Lucy,

0:23:370:23:39

I am afraid you are the pair we send home,

0:23:390:23:41

our latest members of the 200 Club.

0:23:410:23:44

The wheels just came off, Alistair, I thought for a minute

0:23:440:23:47

you might have said, you MIGHT have said Elton John.

0:23:470:23:49

Max Factor, was that not shouting out at you?

0:23:490:23:51

Well, lots of them did, and then my brain stopped.

0:23:510:23:54

I know what it's like.

0:23:540:23:56

We are going to see you next time, we look forward to that

0:23:560:23:58

very much indeed, I'm sure you will be much better.

0:23:580:24:01

But meantime, thank you very much, Alistair and Lucy.

0:24:010:24:03

But for Joanna and Polly, Chris and Illy,

0:24:050:24:06

it's now time for our head-to-head.

0:24:060:24:08

Well, hats off to you, Chris and Illy, Joanna and Polly,

0:24:130:24:15

you are now one step closer to the final

0:24:150:24:17

and a chance to play for our jackpot, which, let's not forget, stands at...

0:24:170:24:21

-AUDIENCE:

-Oooh!

-Mm-hmm.

0:24:210:24:23

Well, you know the story here, you are allowed to start playing

0:24:260:24:28

as teams, and the first pair to win two questions

0:24:280:24:30

plays for that jackpot.

0:24:300:24:32

Best of luck to both pairs, let's play the head-to-head.

0:24:320:24:35

OK, here comes your first question, and it concerns...

0:24:390:24:43

-Richard.

-We are going to show you five pictures

0:24:470:24:49

now of Brad Pitt in different roles from different films.

0:24:490:24:51

We need you to name the film, please. Very best of luck.

0:24:510:24:54

OK, thanks, Richard.

0:24:540:24:55

Let's reveal our five Brad Pitt films, and here they are. We have...

0:24:550:24:59

There you go, five Brad Pitt films.

0:25:210:25:24

Chris and Illy, you have been our low-scorers, so you get to go first.

0:25:240:25:29

Well, I think I know one of them,

0:25:290:25:31

-but I am not sure.

-Mm-hmm.

0:25:310:25:35

We know another one that we are pretty sure on.

0:25:350:25:37

I'm going to say D and Fight Club.

0:25:370:25:41

D, Fight Club.

0:25:410:25:43

OK, now, Joanna and Polly...

0:25:430:25:48

talk us through that board.

0:25:480:25:50

Well, we literally have no idea.

0:25:500:25:53

Shall we go with B?

0:25:530:25:55

I think, I don't know, B might be The Beach, but I don't know.

0:25:550:25:58

C we think might be a Twilight film.

0:25:580:26:01

SHE LAUGHS

0:26:010:26:02

And E, I think, I vaguely know, but I can't think what it is.

0:26:020:26:05

So I think we will just have to go B.

0:26:050:26:08

The Beach.

0:26:080:26:09

B, The Beach. OK. So, we have Fight Club for D

0:26:090:26:14

from Chris and Illy.

0:26:140:26:16

Let's see if D is Fight Club,

0:26:160:26:17

let's see how many people said that if it is.

0:26:170:26:20

-No.

-God.

-C.

0:26:220:26:25

Joanna and Polly only have to be right

0:26:250:26:27

when they say that B is The Beach. Are they?

0:26:270:26:30

No. Which means...

0:26:340:26:37

LAUGHING: ..after...

0:26:370:26:38

Oh, Brad, I hope you're not watching.

0:26:380:26:41

-Which means, after one question, it is 0-0. Exciting.

-That went well.

0:26:410:26:44

Might be the first show ever where we have had 200 Club in Round One,

0:26:440:26:47

Round Two and the head-to-head.

0:26:470:26:49

Let's go through all of these.

0:26:490:26:51

A is Thelma and Louise.

0:26:510:26:53

B is a pointless answer.

0:26:540:26:56

It is True Romance.

0:26:560:26:57

-Excellent film.

-Well done if you said that.

0:26:570:27:00

C is Interview With the Vampire.

0:27:000:27:02

Now, D is not Fight Club.

0:27:050:27:07

-It's Snatch.

-Snatch is the answer.

0:27:070:27:09

Terrible Irish accent, do you remember?

0:27:090:27:12

And you don't recognise E at all, gents?

0:27:120:27:15

-Erm, Thelma and Louise.

-No, it's Fight Club.

0:27:150:27:17

LAUGHTER

0:27:170:27:18

There we go. Good. Here is your second question.

0:27:220:27:25

Someone is going to have to win it to get through to the final,

0:27:250:27:28

so best of luck to both pairs. It concerns...

0:27:280:27:32

..years ending "ooh". No, years ending 00.

0:27:320:27:35

Yeah, we are going to give you a series of clues now to years

0:27:350:27:38

ending with 00. We just need you to tell us the year, please.

0:27:380:27:41

OK, let's review our five clues.

0:27:410:27:43

OK, there we are. Joanna and Polly will go first this time.

0:28:200:28:23

(1600? It's going to be really embarrassing if...

0:28:250:28:29

-(Shall we go for the composers?

-Don't you know Pope Leo III?

-No.)

0:28:290:28:33

We are not 100%, but we think the top one might be 1600.

0:28:340:28:39

1600, says Joanna and Polly. OK. Chris and Illy...

0:28:410:28:45

Yeah, this could be fun.

0:28:460:28:48

THEY LAUGH

0:28:480:28:50

-This could be endless.

-This could be endless. We're not sure.

0:28:500:28:55

1800 for the composers.

0:28:550:28:57

You're going to go 1800 for Vivaldi, Handel and Bach.

0:28:580:29:03

Right, so we have 1600 and we have 1800. In the order they were given.

0:29:030:29:07

Joanna and Polly said 1600, let's see if it's right.

0:29:070:29:11

No.

0:29:150:29:16

Chris and Illy have gone 1800, let's see if it's right.

0:29:180:29:21

No, no.

0:29:250:29:27

This is good, very exciting. After two questions it is 0-0.

0:29:270:29:32

-Goodness me.

-Wow.

0:29:330:29:34

Yeah, it wasn't 1600, it wasn't 1800, it was 1700.

0:29:340:29:39

Would have scored 18 points.

0:29:390:29:41

The United Nations has only been in existence for one year

0:29:410:29:44

that has 00 in it - 2000.

0:29:440:29:46

And the next answer down is 800, very well done

0:29:480:29:51

if you got that, best answer on the board.

0:29:510:29:54

The USA one, of course, is 1800.

0:29:540:29:56

And Richard II, do you know that? 1200?

0:29:580:30:00

It's 1400.

0:30:000:30:03

OK, right, here comes your third question.

0:30:030:30:06

Best of luck to both pairs. Our third question today concerns...

0:30:070:30:11

AUDIENCE MEMBER LAUGHS

0:30:160:30:17

Surely we can get one of these right. Richard.

0:30:170:30:19

We're going to show you know five ingredients from that recipe.

0:30:190:30:22

We have missed out some of the words,

0:30:220:30:24

you need to fill in the words we have missed out, please.

0:30:240:30:26

When I say "please", I mean PLEASE.

0:30:260:30:28

LAUGHTER

0:30:280:30:29

Let's reveal our ingredients. Here we go.

0:30:290:30:32

I seem to think it was Chris and Illy going first this time.

0:30:560:30:59

-We don't know any of these. No - that is a joke.

-Good.

0:31:020:31:04

RICHARD LAUGHS

0:31:040:31:06

I'm just going to go for 90g of butter.

0:31:080:31:11

90g of butter, say Chris and Illy.

0:31:120:31:14

Now then, Joanna and Polly, the rest of the board is all yours,

0:31:140:31:17

talk us through it.

0:31:170:31:18

1-1.5 kilos of potatoes

0:31:180:31:21

and then 150ml of dry white wine.

0:31:210:31:24

And then one tablespoon of grated Parmesan.

0:31:240:31:27

-We'll go for Parmesan.

-You're going to go for Parmesan.

0:31:270:31:29

OK, so we have butter and we have Parmesan.

0:31:290:31:32

Chris and Illy said butter, let's see how many of our 100 said butter.

0:31:320:31:36

It's right. I'd forgotten what that column sounded like! There we go.

0:31:380:31:42

Butter gets you 31.

0:31:420:31:44

Joanna and Polly, meanwhile, have gone for grated Parmesan.

0:31:470:31:50

Let's see if that is right, let's see how many people said Parmesan.

0:31:500:31:54

It's right.

0:31:550:31:58

It's got to...

0:31:580:31:59

Ooh, no, 60.

0:31:590:32:00

There we are. An early lead for Chris and Illy.

0:32:020:32:06

After three questions it is 1-0 to you.

0:32:060:32:08

Yeah, you would have won the point with dry white wine actually,

0:32:080:32:11

because it would have only scored you 23 points.

0:32:110:32:15

Biggest score of all, the one at the top there, potatoes.

0:32:150:32:18

And the best answer, with 8 points, you know that one?

0:32:200:32:23

-No.

-Difficult, isn't it? It's tomato concentrate.

-Ah, very good.

0:32:230:32:27

-Didn't know there was such a thing.

-Thank you very much indeed.

0:32:270:32:30

OK, here comes your fourth question.

0:32:300:32:32

CONTESTANTS LAUGH

0:32:320:32:33

Joanne and Polly, you get to answer it first, but you have to win it.

0:32:330:32:36

It concerns...

0:32:360:32:38

Going to give you a series of clues now about all sorts of things

0:32:410:32:44

related to art, all of the answers begin with the letter A.

0:32:440:32:46

-Can you give us the most obscure?

-OK, let's reveal our five clues.

0:32:460:32:50

..the first name of the famous pop artist Warhol -

0:33:000:33:02

making a second appearance on the show...

0:33:020:33:04

Joanna and Polly, we come to you first.

0:33:330:33:35

THEY WHISPER

0:33:350:33:38

Eh, we are going to go for the fruit

0:33:400:33:42

which obscures the bowler hat - apple.

0:33:420:33:45

Apple, say Joanna and Polly. Now, Chris and Illy,

0:33:450:33:47

talk us through that board.

0:33:470:33:50

-Top one...

-Yeah, we're not sure on the top one

0:33:500:33:53

and we don't know the bottom one.

0:33:530:33:55

The other two, we know one of them,

0:33:550:33:57

we're going to take a guess at the other one.

0:33:570:33:59

The birth country of the artist Gustav Klimt is Austria.

0:33:590:34:03

Austria, say Chris and Illy.

0:34:030:34:04

So we have apple and we have Austria.

0:34:040:34:07

Joanna and Polly said apple, let's see if it's right

0:34:070:34:09

and if it is, how many people said it.

0:34:090:34:11

It's right.

0:34:130:34:15

52 for apple.

0:34:170:34:19

Now, Chris and Illy have gone for Austria,

0:34:220:34:24

the birthplace of Gustav Klimt, let's see if that's right.

0:34:240:34:27

It's right.

0:34:290:34:30

And it wins it for you, very well done indeed, 43.

0:34:310:34:34

Very well done.

0:34:360:34:37

We got there in the end, Chris and Illy,

0:34:370:34:39

after four questions, you are through to the final. 2-0.

0:34:390:34:43

Yeah, let's take a look at these. Do you know the photographer?

0:34:430:34:46

It's Ansel Adams.

0:34:460:34:48

You did well to avoid Andy Warhol.

0:34:500:34:53

And one of the most famous paintings of the 20th century, I would say.

0:34:560:34:59

-It's called American Gothic.

-That is exactly what it is called.

0:34:590:35:03

Ansel Adams, the best answer on that board.

0:35:030:35:05

Thank you very much.

0:35:050:35:06

So, the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round,

0:35:060:35:09

Joanna and Polly.

0:35:090:35:10

Well, you have gone into Pointless history,

0:35:100:35:12

always a good thing to do, I think, for whatever reason.

0:35:120:35:15

That is the longest head-to-head round ever played.

0:35:150:35:18

And the fewest points ever scored in two questions. So, that was fun.

0:35:180:35:21

But the good news is, we get to see you again next time,

0:35:210:35:24

when, who knows, maybe you will make it to the golden couple

0:35:240:35:27

and make it through to the final.

0:35:270:35:29

But meantime, thanks very much indeed, Joanna and Polly.

0:35:290:35:33

Well done.

0:35:330:35:34

Right, for Chris and Illy, it's now time for our Pointless final.

0:35:340:35:38

Well, very well done indeed, Chris and Illy,

0:35:400:35:42

you have seen off all the competition - eventually -

0:35:420:35:45

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

0:35:450:35:47

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

0:35:540:35:56

and just because we might have forgotten, it is standing at...

0:35:560:36:01

-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

0:36:010:36:03

Now, that is a decent jackpot. I slightly feel you have earned it.

0:36:030:36:07

We've all earned it, to be honest, but, yes,

0:36:070:36:09

that was an attritional head-to-head.

0:36:090:36:12

What would you like to see come up in this last round?

0:36:120:36:15

-What do you think?

-Something that we know.

0:36:150:36:17

LAUGHTER

0:36:170:36:19

-There we go.

-Can't see anything else.

0:36:190:36:20

Anything about the rail network in the North of England would be good.

0:36:200:36:23

Do you know what, it has been known to come up.

0:36:230:36:26

-Wouldn't that be brilliant?

-Yes.

-Slightly jammy. But yeah, brilliant.

0:36:260:36:29

OK, let's see what today's choices look like. We have got...

0:36:290:36:33

Genealogy of the royal family - no.

0:36:400:36:43

-Cats...no.

-'67.

-Yeah.

0:36:430:36:47

-The year 1967, please.

-1967 it is. Richard.

0:36:470:36:51

OK, very, very best of luck, gents.

0:36:510:36:52

Three very different questions here, I hope one of them suits you.

0:36:520:36:55

We are looking for the name of any Formula 1 driver who scored

0:36:550:36:59

a point in any race in the 1967 F1 season,

0:36:590:37:02

so anyone who finished in the top six

0:37:020:37:04

and scored a point in that season.

0:37:040:37:07

We are looking for any cast member from the Bond movie

0:37:070:37:09

You Only Live Twice according to IMDB.

0:37:090:37:11

We are looking for any of the tracks on the original release

0:37:110:37:14

of The Beatles' Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band,

0:37:140:37:17

apart from the title track, of course.

0:37:170:37:19

So, Formula 1 points-scoring drivers,

0:37:190:37:21

the cast of You Only Live Twice,

0:37:210:37:23

and songs on Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.

0:37:230:37:26

OK. Well, very best of luck.

0:37:260:37:28

As always, you've got up to a minute to come up with three answers

0:37:280:37:31

to win that £2,000 jackpot, just one of your answers has to be pointless.

0:37:310:37:34

-Are you ready? BOTH:

-Yes.

0:37:340:37:36

Good. Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock. Your time starts now.

0:37:360:37:40

Which ones?

0:37:400:37:42

Formula 1 drivers I could probably list two or three,

0:37:420:37:45

Graham Hill, Jackie Stewart...

0:37:450:37:47

I can't think of anybody else from around about that era.

0:37:470:37:50

Yeah, probably got Graham Hill or Jackie Stewart.

0:37:500:37:53

You Only Live Twice, obviously you've got Sean Connery,

0:37:530:37:57

I'm not sure... Who played Q?

0:37:570:38:00

Richard...

0:38:000:38:02

Songs on Sgt Pepper's - Get By With a Little Help From My Friends.

0:38:020:38:06

-That's definitely on there.

-I honestly don't know.

0:38:060:38:10

I think Day In The Life is on there.

0:38:100:38:13

-Go with that.

-Yeah, but, it's whether...

0:38:130:38:18

So what we going? Jackie Stewart, Graham Hill...

0:38:180:38:21

-Just trying to think of any others.

-1967...

0:38:220:38:26

-Brabham, was he too early?

-Jackie Brabham.

-Ten seconds left.

0:38:260:38:30

Right, I'll go Brabham, we'll go Graham Hill

0:38:300:38:33

and we'll go Day In The Life.

0:38:330:38:35

Yeah, do that, yeah.

0:38:350:38:37

Right, OK.

0:38:370:38:38

OK, you have got your three answers and your minute is up now.

0:38:380:38:41

-Let's hear what you are going to go for.

-OK, we have got three.

0:38:410:38:45

-Formula 1 drivers, we are going to go Jack Brabham.

-Jack Brabham.

0:38:450:38:48

-And we'll go Graham Hill.

-Graham Hill.

0:38:480:38:51

And songs on Sgt Pepper's, we will go A Day In The Life.

0:38:510:38:53

A Day In The Life, OK. Now, of those three,

0:38:530:38:55

which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

0:38:550:38:57

-Day In The Life, I would have thought.

-Do you think?

0:38:570:38:59

-Day In The Life.

-OK, Day In The Life goes last.

0:38:590:39:02

Least likely to be pointless?

0:39:020:39:04

Probably Jack Brabham. We're not sure.

0:39:040:39:07

OK, let's pop those answers on the board in that order.

0:39:070:39:11

Well, very best of luck.

0:39:160:39:17

Three answers there, one of those,

0:39:170:39:20

at least one of those, could turn out to be pointless.

0:39:200:39:23

What would you do with your share of the spoils, Chris, if you won?

0:39:230:39:26

I think I would get some general knowledge lessons, first of all.

0:39:260:39:31

And then probably a holiday, to be fair. Put it towards a nice holiday.

0:39:310:39:34

I am a bit of a Game of Thrones fan,

0:39:340:39:36

so I would like to go to Dubrovnik and have a look around there.

0:39:360:39:39

Very good. You could go up to Iceland.

0:39:390:39:41

-Yeah.

-Very nice. Illy, how about you?

0:39:410:39:42

Same, I think I'm going to put mine towards a holiday.

0:39:420:39:45

The missus has always wanted to go to the Caribbean,

0:39:450:39:47

so I think I will put it towards that.

0:39:470:39:49

Very good, well, best of luck.

0:39:490:39:50

Three good answers there, let's hope one of those scores that jackpot.

0:39:500:39:53

In the first case, we were looking for 1967 Formula 1 drivers.

0:39:530:39:58

You have gone for Jack Brabham, probably a bit of a shot in the dark.

0:39:580:40:02

Let's find out. It has to be right, obviously,

0:40:020:40:04

but if it is pointless, it will win you £2,000.

0:40:040:40:07

How many people said Jack Brabham?

0:40:070:40:09

It's right.

0:40:110:40:12

Well, that is exciting at this late stage, Jack Brabham taking

0:40:120:40:16

us down through the thirties, if it goes to zero, you leave with £2,000.

0:40:160:40:19

Down we go into single figures, still going, still going,

0:40:190:40:22

still going - oh, 2!

0:40:220:40:23

-AUDIENCE:

-Aww!

0:40:230:40:25

That is a phenomenal answer. Jack Brabham, very well done indeed.

0:40:250:40:29

Only two people got that.

0:40:290:40:31

It's annoying to get that close, isn't it?

0:40:310:40:33

Sadly, it is only pointless answers we deal in in this last round.

0:40:330:40:37

Which means you only have two more chances to win today's jackpot.

0:40:370:40:40

Your next answer was Graham Hill,

0:40:400:40:42

again we are looking for Formula 1 drivers from 1967.

0:40:420:40:44

As you know, it has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot.

0:40:440:40:47

So let's see, for £2,000, how many people said Graham Hill?

0:40:470:40:50

It's right.

0:40:530:40:55

Well, Jack Brabham took us to 2,

0:40:550:40:57

how far down the column can Graham Hill take us?

0:40:570:40:59

He's going down through the twenties, into the teens, into single...

0:40:590:41:03

Not quite into single figures - 10.

0:41:030:41:06

Not bad. Not bad at all.

0:41:100:41:11

Only one more chance to win today's jackpot,

0:41:110:41:13

the day when you thought was probably your best shot at a pointless answer.

0:41:130:41:16

A Day In The Life.

0:41:160:41:18

In this case, we were looking for tracks from

0:41:180:41:21

Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band,

0:41:210:41:23

to win that jackpot, it has to be pointless.

0:41:230:41:25

For £2,000, how many people said A Day In The Life?

0:41:250:41:28

It's right. Jack Brabham took us down to 2.

0:41:300:41:35

Graham Hill took us down to 10.

0:41:350:41:37

A Day In The Life now taking us down through the teens.

0:41:370:41:40

Into single figures, down it goes - oh, 6.

0:41:400:41:42

-AUDIENCE:

-Aww.

0:41:420:41:44

Great show, great show.

0:41:440:41:46

Listen, three very good answers there.

0:41:460:41:49

You'd be very happy to take any of those scores in normal gameplay.

0:41:490:41:51

But I am afraid, in this last round, they have to be pointless.

0:41:510:41:54

So I am afraid you don't win our jackpot of £2,000,

0:41:540:41:57

that rolls over onto the next show. But what a strong performance.

0:41:570:42:01

And the stamina to get through that head-to-head...

0:42:010:42:03

apart from anything else, was impressive.

0:42:030:42:05

You get take home a Pointless trophy so it hasn't all been in vain.

0:42:050:42:08

Very well done, Chris and Illy.

0:42:080:42:10

APPLAUSE

0:42:100:42:12

Very well played, gents. Thank you so much for entertaining us as well.

0:42:140:42:17

Let's take a look at what you should have said,

0:42:170:42:19

all those pointless answers.

0:42:190:42:20

Formula 1 drivers...

0:42:200:42:22

Everyone apart from Jackie Stewart,

0:42:230:42:25

Graham Hill, Jim Clark, John Surtees,

0:42:250:42:27

Denny Hulme, Jack Brabham and Jochen Rindt,

0:42:270:42:29

everyone else was a pointless answer, well done if you said any.

0:42:290:42:32

The Bond cast. Actually, some of the regulars are pointless,

0:42:320:42:35

so if you know your bond regulars,

0:42:350:42:36

Bernard Lee, who played M,

0:42:360:42:37

and Lois Maxwell, Miss Moneypenny, both pointless.

0:42:370:42:40

Burt Kwouk, who keeps cropping up

0:42:400:42:41

on Pointless, doesn't he? Becoming a meme.

0:42:410:42:43

And Charles Gray was another regular, very well done

0:42:430:42:46

if you said any of those.

0:42:460:42:47

Sgt Pepper's, only two pointless answers,

0:42:470:42:50

but people who know the album would have got them, I know that.

0:42:500:42:53

Very well done if you got any of those at home.

0:42:530:42:55

Thanks very much, Richard. Unfortunately,

0:42:550:42:57

we have to say goodbye, Chris and Illy,

0:42:570:42:59

but it's been fabulous having you on.

0:42:590:43:01

-Thank you so much for playing. BOTH:

-Thank you.

0:43:010:43:03

Great contestants, Chris and Illy.

0:43:030:43:06

Well, sadly, Chris and Illy didn't win our jackpot today,

0:43:060:43:08

which means it rolls onto the next show, when we will be playing for...

0:43:080:43:12

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

0:43:150:43:17

-Meanwhile, it is goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

0:43:170:43:20

And it is goodbye from me - goodbye.

0:43:200:43:22

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