Episode 25 Pointless


Episode 25

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of.


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Transcript


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APPLAUSE

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Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong and welcome to Pointless -

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the show that makes big winners out of the lowest scorers.

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Let's meet today's players.

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And couple number one.

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Hi there. I'm Shelley.

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This is my wife, Mel. And we're from Brighton.

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-Couple number two.

-Hello, my name is Susan.

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I'm from Soberton in Hampshire,

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this is my daughter Joanna, who lives in London.

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Couple number three.

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Hello, I'm Don. This is my friend and neighbour, Sue.

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And we're from the village of Greetham in Rutland.

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And, finally, couple number four.

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Hi my name's Ayman. I'm from London.

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And this is my friend Mihir, and he's from Milton Keynes.

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And these are today's contestants.

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APPLAUSE

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Thank you very much, all of you. A very warm welcome to Pointless.

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We'll chat to each of you throughout the show as it goes along.

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So that just leaves one more person from me to introduce.

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It's Tricky Dicky from...

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Chiswick. But born in Billericay.

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It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

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Hiya. Hey, everybody.

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Afternoon. Good afternoon to you.

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-And to you.

-Three new pairs.

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-I know.

-Three shiny new pairs with us today.

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Only one returning pair. Podium one,

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which is, of course, where they should be.

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-Shelley and Mel. And we didn't see very much of them.

-We didn't.

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First round, knocked out.

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Mel had one of those very unfortunate moments.

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We had words ending -ibe, and Mel was on the first podium

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and it was very difficult without thinking time, and she said Bible.

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Which, you know, it's so similar, it's got all those letters in it.

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But we need to see much more of you this time, please.

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Well, thank you very much indeed, Richard.

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Now, Amber and Liam didn't win the jackpot last time,

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which is exciting, so we add another £1,000 to that.

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So today's jackpot starts off at £3,250.

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There we are.

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Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

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As ever, remember this,

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the pair with the highest score at the end of each round will be

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eliminated. You just have to make sure your scores are nice and low

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and you'll be fine. No conferring, of course,

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until we get to the head-to-head round.

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Best of luck to all four pairs. Our first category today is...

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It's a People round. Can you all decide in your pairs

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who's going to go first, who's going to go second.

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And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

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OK. And the question concerns...

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-Famous Taylors, Richard.

-Correct.

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On each board we're going to show you seven clues to famous people

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whose surname or first name is Taylor.

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Can you tell us the most obscure, please.

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14 in all to have a go at at home.

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-So very best of luck.

-OK, thanks very much indeed.

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So we are looking for these famous Taylors.

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Here is our first board of seven.

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And it goes like this. We have got...

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I'll read those all one last time.

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Shelley. Welcome back to Pointless.

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-Thank you.

-Remind us what you do, Shelley.

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I work for the Environment Agency.

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And in which department of the Environment Agency?

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Incidents. Incident management.

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You manage incidents.

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What is a typical incident for you, Shelley?

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When we have lots of rain and floods everywhere.

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I see. So you go out in your wellies and your sou'wester.

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I used to. I'm more office-based these days.

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OK. You're at the command centre.

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-Well, yes.

-Despatching teams to sort out the incident.

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And what are your interests?

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I like playing hockey, play a lot of hockey.

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I like travelling.

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Just generally keeping fit.

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Very good. Now, Shelley, how are we feeling about Taylors?

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We've got to see you beyond Round One this time.

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I'm doing my best.

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I know a few of them.

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I'm going to go with,

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along with his brothers, Isaac and Zac,

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and had a UK number one, with MMMBop, I think is Taylor Hanson.

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Taylor Hanson, says Shelley.

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Let's see if that's right

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and let's see how many of our 100 people said Taylor Hanson.

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It's right.

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15. Not bad at all.

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Great start to the round.

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I think you might have done your bit to keep yourselves in.

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Well played, Shelley. Great answer. There's three Hanson brothers.

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-Still one of the great pop singles of all time.

-A great pop single.

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There was... In the back of my mind there was some Beck link,

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wasn't there, between Hanson?

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No, his surname is Hanson.

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-That's the link!

-Yeah.

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I knew there was a Beck link.

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I imagine. I don't know for a fact,

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I imagine that must have the largest proportion of consonants to vowels

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of any UK number one single, MMMBop.

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-I bet that's right.

-Five-sixths of that is consonant.

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-Half of it is M.

-Yeah, true.

-50%.

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The longest song ever with no vowels in it, or the longest title,

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do you remember Crash Test Dummies, who did... Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm,

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which was 16 Ms.

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There we go. Thank you very much indeed. Now, Joanna.

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-Hello.

-Welcome to Pointless.

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-Good to have you here. You work in London.

-I do, yes.

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-And what do you do in London?

-I'm an architectural assistant.

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That means I'm very nearly an architect

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but I'm just not quite fully qualified.

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So you're in your apprenticeship, you might say?

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Yes, I've got all my various degrees, I've just got another diploma to do.

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Which you do while assisting other architects?

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-Yes.

-And you are working for an enormous firm of London architects?

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It's quite large, yes.

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So this is not, sort of, residential architecture so much?

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I do work in residential, but it's large scale.

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-I see.

-It's apartment blocks and housing developments.

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And, from the way you're talking about it, I suspect you like it.

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-I'm getting that.

-I do, yeah. It's really fun.

-Excellent.

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Well, that's fun. When do you think you will get your diploma?

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-Do you know yet?

-I'm starting a year-long course soon,

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so a year after that.

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-Quite a long time away.

-So starting some point in the future,

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and at some point after that. Well, good for you.

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Fantastic. Joanna, how are you feeling about our Taylors?

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Our board of Taylors?

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Well, Shelley took the one that I was going to say.

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So I only know three others.

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I think I'm going to play it safe

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and go Taylor Lautner as Jacob Black in Twilight.

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Taylor Lautner.

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Yes. Or Lowt-ner.

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-Lautner.

-I think Lautner.

-Yeah, I know who you mean.

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Let's see if it's right,

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let's see how many of our 100 people went for Taylor Lautner Lowt-ner.

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It's right.

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15 is our only score so far.

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Oh, and you pass that. Look at that. 13.

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Turns out Shelley did you a favour there, Joanna.

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13 for Taylor Lautner.

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Yeah, he's very serious in those films,

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but then he's in Cuckoo with Greg Davies on BBC Three.

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And he's absolutely brilliant.

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And you wouldn't think it. He's very handsome,

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very, very talented AND very, very funny.

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He's like a kind of American Ben Miller.

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Oh, that's good. That IS good.

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That's placed it for me. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

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Sue. Welcome to Pointless.

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Good to have you. From Rutland.

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-That's right.

-What was the name of your village?

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-Greetham.

-Greetham. Aw!

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I've never heard of Greetham.

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It sounds...

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Rutland itself is not a massive county. Famously not.

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-It's very beautiful there.

-And Greetham, how massive is Greetham?

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Quite small. About 600 people live there.

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But it has got three pubs.

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What about that?

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200 people per pub.

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Are you loyal to one particular pub or do you spread your...

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-spread the love?

-I try and patronise them all.

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Excellent. Which you've kind of just done as well.

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Sue. What would you like to go for on our board of Taylors?

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I shall go for the drummer in the band Queen,

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-and I think that's Roger Taylor.

-Roger Taylor, says Sue.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Roger Taylor.

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It's right. Well, 15 is our high score.

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15 WAS our high score, 57 is now our high score.

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-Roger Taylor.

-Yeah, his son is also a drummer.

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Rufus Taylor. He joined the Darkness in 2015.

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Quite a lot of sons of drummers become drummers.

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I say that, I can think of one other.

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-But, yeah.

-I can think of others.

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Ringo Starr's son became a drummer.

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-That's the one I'm thinking of.

-John Bonham's son became a drummer.

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There you are. There's another.

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Um...

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Roger Taylor's son became a drummer.

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Yeah. There we go.

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Thanks much very much indeed. Now then, Ayman, welcome to Pointless.

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-Hi.

-Great to have you here. Also from London.

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-That's correct.

-What do you do, Ayman?

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I work as a tax consultant in London.

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How long have you been doing that?

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Only a couple of months.

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-Very recent.

-Wow. How is it so far?

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-Enjoying it?

-It's going all right, trying to pick up things quickly.

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Picking up things quickly is kind of the name of the game, isn't it?

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So after every Budget or Budget review,

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you have to sort of tweak your advice, presumably.

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-That's correct, yeah.

-What are your interests, away from the office?

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In my spare time I like to go swing dancing.

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-Wow!

-Yeah.

-Now, that's fun.

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-Yeah.

-That's kind of...

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So dancing from the '50s?

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-Essentially. Like Lindy hop and the Charleston.

-Yeah.

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It's quite complicated, isn't it, swing dancing?

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It is, yeah. I couldn't... I picked it up at university because I had,

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like, two left feet

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and I've really grown to enjoy it.

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You kind of swing the people around, don't you?

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-Yeah.

-Yeah, it's fun, great fun.

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Now then, Ayman. You are the last person to have this board.

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So if you were itching to fill in all those as-yet unanswered Taylors,

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this would be your chance.

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OK. I only know two on there,

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so I'm going to have to go, I think, the singer who topped the US charts

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was Taylor Swift. But I'm going to say the British-born actress

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who stars as the title character,

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and say Elizabeth Taylor.

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You're going to go for Elizabeth Taylor? OK.

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Now, let's see how many of our 100 people said Elizabeth Taylor.

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It's right. Oh, 85!

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85. A tough board for you there, Ayman, not a great deal left on it,

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but that was a punishing high score.

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That is a big score.

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You'd have been better off going for Taylor Swift.

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It's a big score, but nowhere near 85.

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Taylor Swift would have scored you 58.

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Let's go down the bottom, the 12th President of the United States.

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-Zachary Taylor.

-Zachary Taylor.

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A pointless favourite. 11 points for that.

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And the US comedian, there's a clue with the confetti.

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Rip Taylor.

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He's got the big moustache. Would have scored you 1 point.

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Very well done if you said that.

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There we are. Thank you, Richard. Halfway through the round.

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Let's look at our scores. 13, Joanna. How about that?

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The best score of the pass. Well done, Joanna and Susan,

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on the back of that. Then 15, very good on podium one.

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I think we'll see you in Round Two and beyond.

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That's just my hunch at this stage.

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57 is where we find Sue and Don.

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And then 85, Ayman and Mihir.

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So, yes, Mihir, you're the first person to have the new board,

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so make sure you go as low as you dare, find a low-scoring answer.

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Maybe it will be enough to keep you in the game.

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We'll come back down the line now.

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Can the second players please step up to the podium?

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OK, let's put seven more Taylors up on the board.

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And here they come...

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I'll read those all one last time.

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Mihir, welcome.

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Welcome. Good to have you here from Milton Keynes.

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-And what do you do, Mihir?

-I'm a trainee financial advisor.

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I see. So you and Ayman in sort of similar kind of...

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-similar kind of sphere, you might say.

-Yeah,

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I advise people and then he checks their taxes.

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Right, so he keeps you on your toes.

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And how do you and Ayman know each other?

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Uni, basically. Walked in, first week of uni into a class,

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the seat next to him was the only one available so I sat down

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-and we got talking, and here we are.

-And been friends ever since.

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-Yeah.

-Very good. And what are your interests, Mihir?

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Basically everything. Like, football,

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I write a blog as well, which I really enjoy doing.

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I set it up with a couple of friends.

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Does that have a particular focus or is it fairly general?

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Most of it is sort of current affairs and sort of social trends.

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-Yeah, stuff like that.

-Very good.

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OK. Now, Mihir, you know what you have to do here.

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I think I have an inkling for four or five of them.

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But because I have to take a little bit of a risk,

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I'm going to go for the first one.

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I'm going to go for the American tennis player who set the record

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for Wimbledon's fastest-ever serve as Taylor Dent.

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Taylor Dent, says Mihir.

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No red line for you because you're the highest scorers,

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so nothing really to guide you down that column.

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We just have to hope that goes a long way down.

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Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Taylor Dent.

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Well, it's right. That was the first thing it had to be.

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It's a nice low score, Mihir.

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Look at that. Down to 8!

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Lowest score of the round so far. Exactly what we needed from you.

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Taking your total up to 93.

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-Great answer, Mihir. Yeah, 148mph.

-That's faster than a train -

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-148?

-Well, it's faster than a train going slower than 148mph, yeah.

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It's slower than a train going over 148mph.

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And it's the same speed as a train going at 148mph.

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-That is true.

-It doesn't go as far as a train, though.

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-Depending on your train.

-No, that is definitely true.

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-Yeah, yeah.

-Also, it's easier to return, even at that speed,

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it's easier to return a Taylor Dent serve than a train.

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-With a...

-Yeah, I think that's...

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Imagine that - "15-love."

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That's like when that InterCity 125 won Wimbledon in 1982.

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Yeah, yeah. Thanks very much indeed.

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Don, Welcome to Pointless.

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Great to have you here. Now, you are from Rutland, self-evidently -

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you said - but you don't sound like it.

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That's not the Rutland accent, is it?

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-Where are you from originally?

-I'm from Northern Ireland.

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Originally from Derry City.

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Very good indeed. What keeps you busy in Rutland, Don?

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I've got two jobs.

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I'm a part-time electrical engineer and I'm a part-time vicar.

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-Are you?

-Yeah.

-That's fun.

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-And I'm a drummer.

-So three jobs.

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-Really? That's just for fun?

-The drumming is for fun.

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-Yeah.

-So, part-time vicar.

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-Yeah.

-How long have you been a vicar for?

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-Two years.

-Really?

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I'm still a curate, I'm still in training, yeah, still in training.

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I bet Don does a good sermon.

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-Oh, yeah.

-I bet he does. All based in Rutland?

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All based in the village of Greetham, yeah.

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In the village of Greetham.

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Do you ever play at one of the three pubs?

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-Yes.

-And do you spread the music across the pubs?

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Yeah, we try to. One particular pub, yeah.

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Now, Don, you're on 57.

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Our highest-scorers at the moment are on 93, behind you.

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35 or less keeps you in the game.

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35 or less, Don.

0:16:200:16:22

I know two, but I'm not sure

0:16:220:16:24

which will be the lowest.

0:16:240:16:26

I think Watford football club,

0:16:260:16:30

Graham Taylor.

0:16:300:16:32

Graham Taylor, says Don.

0:16:320:16:33

Here is your red line.

0:16:330:16:35

It could be higher, I'm going to say.

0:16:350:16:37

If you get below that, you're through to the next round.

0:16:370:16:40

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Graham Taylor.

0:16:400:16:43

Oh, it's 55 for Graham Taylor.

0:16:490:16:52

Great news on podium four, but that takes your total up to 112.

0:16:520:16:56

Big score for Graham Taylor.

0:16:560:16:58

He was originally appointed by Elton John,

0:16:580:16:59

when Elton John was chairman of Watford.

0:16:590:17:01

There we are. Susan, welcome to Pointless.

0:17:010:17:03

-Good to have you here, from Hampshire.

-Yes.

0:17:030:17:05

And what keeps you busy in Hampshire?

0:17:050:17:07

I work in interior design and I run a soft furnishing workroom.

0:17:070:17:10

-So I make curtains.

-So is it your interior design company?

0:17:100:17:13

I work part-time for somebody else

0:17:130:17:15

-but I run my own workroom making the curtains.

-Making the curtains.

0:17:150:17:18

That's the hard bit.

0:17:180:17:19

-Yes.

-And also the expensive bit as well, as I've discovered.

0:17:190:17:22

-It's not THAT expensive.

-No, not that expensive.

0:17:220:17:24

It's worthwhile because obviously you get TAILOR-made...

0:17:240:17:28

Sorry, just to, you know...

0:17:280:17:30

-Which is lovely.

-Yes.

0:17:300:17:31

But do people tend to come to you with the fabric already chosen?

0:17:310:17:34

-Or do you help them?

-I help them.

-You help them.

0:17:340:17:36

-You take swatches over, hang them up around their rooms.

-Yes.

0:17:360:17:40

That's nice. It also means you get to poke around people's houses.

0:17:400:17:43

-Exactly.

-Which is nice, you know. Always fun.

0:17:430:17:45

And what do you do for other fun?

0:17:450:17:48

I play tennis, I love dancing and I do amateur dramatics.

0:17:480:17:51

Do you do swing dancing?

0:17:510:17:53

I do modern jive dancing.

0:17:530:17:55

Oh, hang on. I can see one way this programme might end.

0:17:550:17:59

I am looking forward to the head-to-head, I can tell you that.

0:17:590:18:02

Susan, what about our board of Taylors?

0:18:030:18:05

You're on 13. I mean, really, you have to score 98 or less.

0:18:050:18:08

I would like to think you could walk through.

0:18:080:18:10

OK, well, I did know more on the other board.

0:18:100:18:13

There is one left that I do know, so I am going to go with that,

0:18:130:18:16

and that is the snooker champion,

0:18:160:18:18

and that's Dennis Taylor.

0:18:180:18:19

Dennis Taylor, says Susan. Here comes your red line.

0:18:190:18:22

Nice and high.

0:18:220:18:23

If you get below that with Dennis Taylor, you are into Round Two.

0:18:230:18:26

How many people said Dennis Taylor?

0:18:260:18:27

Very well done. Did everything you needed.

0:18:290:18:32

72.

0:18:320:18:33

72, taking your total up to 85.

0:18:350:18:38

-Very well played. Been on the show, of course, Dennis Taylor.

-He has.

0:18:380:18:41

-Lovely.

-A lovely man. He is a lovely fellow, actually.

0:18:410:18:44

Very funny. He once said to me,

0:18:440:18:46

"I sent off for a hearing aid a month ago,

0:18:460:18:47

"I haven't heard anything since."

0:18:470:18:49

LAUGHTER

0:18:490:18:51

Thank you. Mel, welcome back.

0:18:510:18:53

-Hiya.

-Welcome back to Pointless. Now, I mean,

0:18:530:18:56

slightly slim pickings on the board behind me,

0:18:560:18:58

but I am so hoping that you've got a good Taylor up your sleeve

0:18:580:19:02

to get you through to the next round. Before that, though,

0:19:020:19:05

remind me what it is you do, Mel, down in Brighton.

0:19:050:19:07

I work with Shelley looking at how we can use technology

0:19:070:19:11

-to help sort out and manage incidents better.

-Right.

0:19:110:19:14

What sort of technology are you using at the moment?

0:19:140:19:17

We're using a lot of stuff about how to alert people better if they are

0:19:170:19:20

getting flooded and through social media and other things.

0:19:200:19:24

As well as how we can go out and better look after...

0:19:240:19:26

So more about getting the message out, rather than detecting things as they come in.

0:19:260:19:30

We do the detecting bit as well. So a lot of work looking at

0:19:300:19:33

river levels to see when things might get a bit high.

0:19:330:19:36

Very good. And what are your interests?

0:19:360:19:38

Kick boxing is back on my...

0:19:380:19:41

-You've taken a break from kick boxing?

-I had a little break

0:19:410:19:44

for about four years and then I thought it would be good to go back.

0:19:440:19:47

Excellent. So you are back on it.

0:19:470:19:49

-Back on it.

-How far had you got with your kick boxing before?

0:19:490:19:52

I got up to my blue belt.

0:19:520:19:53

-So, I guess about halfway.

-OK.

0:19:530:19:56

And now you just hit the ground kicking and boxing.

0:19:560:20:00

Kicking and punching. I try not to hit the ground.

0:20:000:20:02

No, don't hit the ground! What am I talking about?

0:20:020:20:04

Don't hit the ground. Avoid hitting the ground running.

0:20:040:20:07

But, anyway, you've gone right back in there.

0:20:070:20:08

-It's great being back, yeah.

-Good stuff.

0:20:080:20:10

-Now, Mel, there you are. You are on 15.

-Yes.

0:20:100:20:13

Our highest-scorers are on 112,

0:20:130:20:15

which means 96 or less gets you through.

0:20:150:20:18

It's fine - nice, high score you need to get.

0:20:180:20:20

Yes. I only know for sure,

0:20:200:20:23

I think, one that's left.

0:20:230:20:24

-OK, that's pretty good.

-So I'm going to go with that one, and that is

0:20:240:20:27

the 16-time world darts champion

0:20:270:20:30

nicknamed Phil "The Power" Taylor.

0:20:300:20:32

Phil "The Power" Taylor.

0:20:320:20:34

OK. Here's your red line. Get below this with Phil Taylor and you are

0:20:340:20:37

through to the next round. How many people said Phil Taylor?

0:20:370:20:40

It's right and you're through. Very well done.

0:20:420:20:44

58.

0:20:460:20:47

Very good indeed. Taking your total up to 73.

0:20:470:20:51

Great stuff, Mel. Well done. He used to make

0:20:510:20:53

ceramic toilet roll handles.

0:20:530:20:55

-Phil Taylor.

-I think that's a shame

0:20:550:20:57

he doesn't still. But I'm glad he's playing darts.

0:20:570:20:59

Well, he might do it as a hobby these days. I don't know.

0:20:590:21:02

He's from Stoke, so he worked in the ceramics industry

0:21:020:21:05

before becoming a darts player, or a professional.

0:21:050:21:08

Now, the rest of these, there's some tough ones here.

0:21:080:21:10

The lightweight boxing champion. All of Ireland will know this one.

0:21:100:21:14

Katie Taylor. Would've scored you seven points.

0:21:140:21:16

A lovely clip of her meeting Michelle Obama,

0:21:160:21:18

because Michelle Obama used to box as well.

0:21:180:21:20

There's a lovely thing of the two of them meeting.

0:21:200:21:22

The actress who married Ben Stiller is Christine Taylor.

0:21:220:21:25

Would have scored you five points.

0:21:250:21:27

And a pointless answer up there.

0:21:270:21:29

Lead singer of the band Hot Chip - Alexis. Alexis Taylor.

0:21:290:21:32

Very well done if you said that at home.

0:21:320:21:34

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

0:21:340:21:36

So at the end of our first round, the pair we have to send home

0:21:360:21:38

with their high score of 112, Don and Sue, I'm so sorry, it is you.

0:21:380:21:41

Great shame to be sending you home,

0:21:410:21:42

but really looking forward to seeing you again next time.

0:21:420:21:45

I'm sure you'll go much further.

0:21:450:21:47

Thank you very much indeed. Don and Sue.

0:21:470:21:49

APPLAUSE

0:21:490:21:51

But, for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

0:21:510:21:54

And so we're down to three pairs.

0:21:590:22:00

At the end of this round, we will be down to two pairs.

0:22:000:22:03

Shelly and Mel. Welcome to Round Two.

0:22:030:22:05

That's the big headline for today.

0:22:050:22:07

Ayman and Mihir, very well done.

0:22:070:22:10

Here you are in Round Two, despite Liz Taylor.

0:22:100:22:13

There we are. Very well done.

0:22:130:22:15

Best of luck to all three pairs. Our category for Round Two is...

0:22:150:22:18

Can you all decide in your pairs

0:22:200:22:22

who's going first, who's going second...

0:22:220:22:24

And whoever is going first, please step up to the podium.

0:22:240:22:27

OK, let's find out what the question is.

0:22:300:22:32

Here it comes. We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name...

0:22:320:22:35

Countries with five or more vowels, Richard.

0:22:400:22:43

Yes, we're looking for any country in the world that has

0:22:430:22:45

five or more vowels in its usual English short-form name, please.

0:22:450:22:48

As always, by country, we mean a sovereign state

0:22:480:22:51

that's a member of the UN in its own right.

0:22:510:22:53

Thank you very much indeed. OK, Shelley.

0:22:530:22:56

I'm not quite sure whether it's got five or not,

0:22:560:22:59

but I'm going to go with Afghanistan.

0:22:590:23:02

Afghanistan, says Shelley.

0:23:020:23:04

Let's find out if it's got five or more vowels in it.

0:23:040:23:06

How many of our 100 people said it? Is it right?

0:23:060:23:08

Oh, I'm afraid an incorrect answer, Shelley.

0:23:130:23:15

Not Afghanistan. Of course, that scores you 100 points.

0:23:150:23:18

Yeah, sorry. It's long enough to have five.

0:23:180:23:20

It's only got four. It's got three As and an I, Afghanistan.

0:23:200:23:23

Thanks, Richard. Joanna.

0:23:230:23:26

Hello. Um, I think...

0:23:260:23:28

this definitely has more than five.

0:23:280:23:31

I'm going to say Antigua and Barbuda.

0:23:310:23:34

Antigua and Barbuda, says Joanna.

0:23:340:23:36

Let's see if it's right,

0:23:360:23:37

let's see how many of our 100 people said Antigua and Barbuda.

0:23:370:23:40

It's right.

0:23:420:23:43

That's a great answer. Look at that.

0:23:480:23:50

It's a pointless answer as well! Very well done indeed, Joanna.

0:23:500:23:53

That adds £250 to today's jackpot.

0:23:530:23:55

Takes the total up to £3,500.

0:23:550:23:58

Scores you absolutely nothing. Very well done.

0:23:580:24:01

Very well played. That's got eight vowels in it.

0:24:010:24:04

How about that? It's got five As - it's got five As! Two Us, an I...

0:24:040:24:08

You could get into some of our top universities with that.

0:24:080:24:11

-No, you need A-stars, unfortunately, these days, I'm afraid.

-Oh, you do.

0:24:110:24:15

There we go. Thank you very much indeed.

0:24:150:24:17

Now, Ayman, it's countries with five or more vowels in their name.

0:24:170:24:21

Along the same kind of lines,

0:24:210:24:23

I think I'm going to go with Trinidad and Tobago.

0:24:230:24:26

Trinidad and Tobago.

0:24:260:24:27

OK. Let's see how many of our 100 people said Trinidad and Tobago.

0:24:270:24:30

Oh, 1! 1 for Trinidad Tobago.

0:24:400:24:43

That's a great answer. Very well done indeed.

0:24:430:24:45

Very well played. That's got seven vowels in it.

0:24:470:24:50

So far in this round, we've had 19 vowels

0:24:500:24:52

and none of them have been an E.

0:24:520:24:54

-I know.

-I mean, what's that all about, right?

0:24:540:24:56

Wow. There we are. Thank you, Richard.

0:24:560:24:58

Now, we're halfway through the round.

0:24:580:25:00

Let's take a quick look at our scores and see where we are.

0:25:000:25:02

Nothing was the best score of that pass, Joanna.

0:25:020:25:04

Very well done indeed, Joanna and Susan.

0:25:040:25:06

I think you shall make it to the head-to-head.

0:25:060:25:08

Ayman and Mihir, I'm going to say much the same to you as well.

0:25:080:25:11

Now, Shelley and Mel,

0:25:110:25:13

I'm less certain.

0:25:130:25:16

Mel, let's have a nice low-scoring answer from you, please,

0:25:180:25:20

on the next pass. And let's see what happens.

0:25:200:25:22

Best of luck. We'll come back down the line now.

0:25:220:25:24

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

0:25:240:25:27

OK. Now then, Mihir.

0:25:300:25:32

Fabulous low score from Ayman - can you beat it, I wonder?

0:25:320:25:35

A country with five or more vowels in its name.

0:25:350:25:38

Along the same lines of massive countries,

0:25:380:25:41

massively worded countries,

0:25:410:25:42

I'm going to go for Saint Vincent and the Grenadines.

0:25:420:25:45

Oh! All these lovely places!

0:25:450:25:47

Saint Vincent and the Grenadines.

0:25:470:25:49

Here is your red line.

0:25:490:25:51

Get below that, you're through to the next round.

0:25:510:25:53

How many people said Saint Vincent and the Grenadines?

0:25:530:25:56

It's right.

0:25:580:25:59

Oh, it's another 1!

0:26:050:26:06

It's another 1. There you are.

0:26:060:26:08

Perfectly matched. Taking your total up to 2.

0:26:080:26:10

Very well done indeed.

0:26:100:26:12

Ten vowels there. And finally the Es have turned up.

0:26:130:26:15

Four in Saint Vincent and the Grenadines.

0:26:150:26:17

We always say if Pointless had a house band, they'd be called

0:26:170:26:19

Saint Vincent and the Grenadines.

0:26:190:26:21

Thanks very much indeed. Now then, Susan.

0:26:220:26:24

I'm going to come away from the Caribbean because most of mine

0:26:240:26:28

have gone, and I'm going to take South Korea.

0:26:280:26:30

South Korea, says Susan.

0:26:300:26:32

South Korea. Here is your red line,

0:26:320:26:34

get below that, the head-to-head awaits.

0:26:340:26:37

How many people said South Korea?

0:26:370:26:39

It's right and you're through.

0:26:410:26:43

Four for South Korea.

0:26:490:26:51

Taking your total up to 4.

0:26:510:26:53

Very well played. Very tightly packed in as well -

0:26:530:26:56

five vowels in ten letters.

0:26:560:26:58

Oh, I thought you meant the people of South Korea.

0:26:580:27:01

-Well, they are.

-They are.

0:27:010:27:03

-It's a big population.

-Yeah.

0:27:030:27:05

Now, Mel. I'm afraid you're going to be leaving us at the end of this round,

0:27:050:27:08

however, there are pointless answers out there, as we've seen.

0:27:080:27:12

Wouldn't that be a nice thing to leave?

0:27:120:27:15

It would be, but I can't think of any of them, so sorry.

0:27:150:27:18

I'm just going to go for South Africa.

0:27:180:27:21

South Africa, says Mel.

0:27:210:27:23

No red line, I'm afraid, as you're already our high-scorers.

0:27:230:27:25

But let's see how many people said South Africa.

0:27:250:27:28

16.

0:27:360:27:38

Taking your total up to 116.

0:27:390:27:41

Five vowels there.

0:27:420:27:44

Talking of countries with a lot of vowels and not many letters,

0:27:440:27:46

Saudi Arabia takes the biscuit - 7 of its 11 letters are vowels.

0:27:460:27:50

-How about that?

-Yeah.

-I think when they struck oil,

0:27:500:27:53

they also struck vowels at the same time.

0:27:530:27:55

7 out of 11, would've scored you 1 point as well, Saudi Arabia.

0:27:550:27:59

I think 10 is the most, I'm just trying to count them all up,

0:27:590:28:03

Saint Vincent and the Grenadines and Equatorial Guinea.

0:28:030:28:05

-Yeah.

-Which is also a pointless answer, that has ten vowels.

0:28:050:28:08

Let's take a look at the other pointless answers, there's quite a few.

0:28:080:28:11

It's what we call the Ivory Coast now.

0:28:160:28:18

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. So, the end of our second round,

0:28:250:28:28

and the pair we have to send home with their high score of 116,

0:28:280:28:31

Mel and Shelley, I'm so sorry, it is you.

0:28:310:28:33

Afghanistan - I'm afraid it let you down.

0:28:330:28:36

I'm afraid that's why we have to say goodbye,

0:28:360:28:38

lovely low-scoring round otherwise.

0:28:380:28:40

I'm so sorry, it's been lovely having you on the show -

0:28:400:28:43

far too short, I would say, on both instances,

0:28:430:28:45

but thank you so much for playing. Mel and Shelley, thank you.

0:28:450:28:47

APPLAUSE

0:28:470:28:50

But, for the remaining two pairs, it's now time for our head-to-head.

0:28:500:28:53

Congratulations, Susan and Johanna, Ayman and Mihir.

0:28:580:29:01

you are now one step closer to the final and a chance to play

0:29:010:29:04

for our jackpot, which currently stands at £3,500.

0:29:040:29:08

Well, we've reached the head-to-head,

0:29:110:29:12

which means you're now allowed to confer before you give your answers,

0:29:120:29:16

and the first player to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot. Well, this is exciting -

0:29:160:29:20

two newcomers in our head-to-head,

0:29:200:29:22

two pairs of newcomers, I should say.

0:29:220:29:24

Very, very impressive low scores from each pair.

0:29:240:29:27

Susan and Joanna, though, I think it's fitting

0:29:270:29:30

that you are our golden couple, with Joanna giving us

0:29:300:29:32

our only pointless answer,

0:29:320:29:34

but I think this is going to be very close indeed.

0:29:340:29:36

Best of luck to both pairs, let's play the head-to-head.

0:29:360:29:39

Here is your first question, and it concerns...

0:29:440:29:47

-Richard.

-I'm going to show you five pictures of different types of bread

0:29:500:29:53

and also give you alternate letters of their names,

0:29:530:29:56

but what are they, please?

0:29:560:29:58

Very exciting, let's reveal our five types of bread, and here they come.

0:29:580:30:01

There we are, five types of bread,

0:30:320:30:34

Susan and Joanna, you've been our low scorers, so you will go first.

0:30:340:30:37

Feel free to confer.

0:30:370:30:39

We know three of them and we're going to go with A, sourdough.

0:30:440:30:48

Sourdough, say Susan and Joanna.

0:30:480:30:50

Ayman and Mihir, do you want to talk us through the other breads?

0:30:500:30:53

It's not really a strong point of ours, if we're being honest.

0:30:530:30:57

We did know A

0:30:570:30:58

and we think we know C,

0:30:580:31:00

so we're going to have to go with C,

0:31:000:31:02

-which is focaccia.

-Focaccia.

0:31:020:31:04

So we have sourdough and focaccia.

0:31:040:31:06

Susan and Joanna went for sourdough.

0:31:060:31:08

Let's see if that's right.

0:31:080:31:09

Let's see how many of our 100 people got it.

0:31:090:31:12

It is right.

0:31:140:31:16

34 for sourdough.

0:31:190:31:21

No arguing with that, seems a reasonable sort of score.

0:31:220:31:24

The question is, will Ayman and Mihir's answer of focaccia

0:31:240:31:28

be higher or lower than that?

0:31:280:31:30

Let's find out how many of our 100 people said focaccia for C.

0:31:300:31:34

It's right.

0:31:370:31:38

41. There's your answer.

0:31:410:31:43

And it means well done, Susan and Joanna,

0:31:430:31:45

after one question you are up 1-0.

0:31:450:31:47

There's only one answer that would have beaten sourdough, which is B,

0:31:480:31:51

we'll get onto that. We'll hear the other two first,

0:31:510:31:53

D is a cottage loaf.

0:31:530:31:55

Would've scored you 53.

0:31:560:31:59

-And E...

-soda bread.

0:31:590:32:01

That looks lovely, doesn't it? That would've scored you 85.

0:32:010:32:05

-And do you know B?

-I don't know what that is.

0:32:050:32:08

Traditionally eaten on the Jewish Sabbath, it's the challah.

0:32:080:32:11

-Challah.

-And that would've scored you six points,

0:32:110:32:15

very well done if you said that at home.

0:32:150:32:17

Thank you very much indeed, Richard. OK, here comes your second question,

0:32:170:32:20

Ayman and Mihir, you get to answer it first, but you have to win it

0:32:200:32:23

to stay in the game, so very, very best of luck.

0:32:230:32:25

Our second question today is all about...

0:32:250:32:28

-Richard.

-Simply five clues now to facts about Colin Firth,

0:32:310:32:34

can you give us the most obscure answer?

0:32:340:32:36

Thanks very much, let's reveal our five clues, and here they come.

0:32:360:32:39

I'll read those again.

0:32:590:33:00

There we are. Ayman and Mihir, you will answer first.

0:33:190:33:23

We're going to go with the first one,

0:33:260:33:28

which we believe is The King's Speech.

0:33:280:33:30

The King's Speech, say Ayman and Mihir.

0:33:300:33:32

Now, Susan and Joanna,

0:33:320:33:34

talk us through as much of that board as you can.

0:33:340:33:37

We think the romantic comedy is Love Actually,

0:33:370:33:41

he played Fitzwilliam Darcy in Pride And Prejudice,

0:33:410:33:45

Tom Ford was the fashion designer,

0:33:450:33:47

and I think he possibly has

0:33:470:33:48

the freedom of Winchester,

0:33:480:33:50

as that's where he grew up.

0:33:500:33:52

But what we going to go for?

0:33:520:33:55

We're going to go for Tom Ford,

0:33:550:33:57

the fashion designer who directed A Single Man.

0:33:570:33:59

Tom Ford. So we have The King's Speech, we have Tom Ford.

0:33:590:34:03

Ayman and Mihir said The King's Speech,

0:34:030:34:05

let's see if that's right for the Oscar-winning role.

0:34:050:34:08

It is right.

0:34:100:34:11

Not bad, 27...

0:34:160:34:17

..for The King's Speech.

0:34:180:34:20

Tom Ford is Susan and Joanna's answer,

0:34:220:34:24

the director of A Single Man -

0:34:240:34:26

let's see how many of our 100 people said Tom Ford.

0:34:260:34:29

It's right.

0:34:310:34:33

And it wins you the point

0:34:360:34:37

and sees you through to the final,

0:34:370:34:39

very well done indeed. Four for Tom Ford.

0:34:390:34:41

Very well done, it means, after only two questions,

0:34:410:34:44

Susan and Joanna are through to the final, 2-0.

0:34:440:34:46

Very well played. Blimey, Susan, those...

0:34:460:34:48

Colin Firth, very impressive.

0:34:480:34:50

Jamie was in Love Actually.

0:34:500:34:54

That would've scored you 18 points and seen you through.

0:34:560:34:58

Fitzwilliam Darcy, you're absolutely right,

0:34:580:35:01

would've scored you too many points, though. That would've scored you 54.

0:35:010:35:04

And it's not Winchester, it's London.

0:35:040:35:08

And would've scored seven points.

0:35:080:35:10

So Tom Ford is the best answer on the board, very well played.

0:35:100:35:13

Thanks very much indeed. So the pair leaving us at the end

0:35:130:35:15

of the head-to-head round, I'm afraid, Ayman and Mihir, it is you,

0:35:150:35:18

but my goodness, what a strong performance across the show,

0:35:180:35:21

and on the strength of that, I think we'll see you go

0:35:210:35:24

quite a long way next time. The head-to-head, maybe even further,

0:35:240:35:28

but in the meantime, thanks very much for playing, Ayman and Mihir.

0:35:280:35:30

APPLAUSE

0:35:300:35:32

But, for Susan and Joanna, it's now time for our Pointless Final.

0:35:340:35:37

Well, congratulations, Susan and Joanna, you fought off

0:35:410:35:43

all the competition and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

0:35:430:35:47

-Yes!

-You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

0:35:530:35:56

At the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at £3,500.

0:35:560:36:01

Well, even before I know

0:36:040:36:05

what the options are going to be on the board behind me,

0:36:050:36:08

I have to say, the chances are looking pretty good,

0:36:080:36:10

it's your first appearance on Pointless,

0:36:100:36:12

we've already had a pointless answer from you and a 2-0 head-to-head -

0:36:120:36:16

I mean, really no arguing with that.

0:36:160:36:17

-Unexpected.

-I don't know.

0:36:170:36:19

You've come and the trajectory has been extraordinary

0:36:190:36:22

right the way across the show.

0:36:220:36:23

What would you like to see come up on the board -

0:36:230:36:26

any particular subjects?

0:36:260:36:27

-We've had countries and we're quite good at that.

-Literature.

0:36:270:36:31

-OK.

-No sport.

-No sports.

0:36:310:36:33

-Not sport. Or music.

-OK, nor music.

0:36:330:36:35

Interesting. Interesting.

0:36:350:36:38

OK, well, let's see what's on the board.

0:36:380:36:40

Let's hope there's something among those four options that pleases you.

0:36:400:36:44

Today's selection looks like this - we have got...

0:36:440:36:46

Right...

0:36:550:36:57

-Not Sporting Runners-up.

-Not sporting runners-up.

0:36:580:37:01

Oh, well, maybe Sporting Runners-up.

0:37:010:37:03

Not Films About Film.

0:37:030:37:05

Are we going to go Sporting Runners-up, even though we said

0:37:050:37:09

-we didn't want sports?

-Well...

0:37:090:37:10

You decide.

0:37:120:37:13

Films About Film. I have no idea why.

0:37:130:37:16

-Films About Film.

-Films About Film. Good luck.

0:37:160:37:18

Yeah, good luck. We're looking for anybody, according to IMDb,

0:37:180:37:21

who appeared in any of the following three films, please.

0:37:210:37:24

So we're looking for any cast member of the 2016 film Hail, Caesar.

0:37:240:37:28

We're looking for anyone in the 2002 movie Adaptation,

0:37:280:37:32

or anybody from the 1950 film Sunset Boulevard, please.

0:37:320:37:36

Very best of luck.

0:37:390:37:40

As always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers.

0:37:400:37:44

Susan, that face doesn't look terribly confident.

0:37:440:37:47

-It's not.

-OK, to win that jackpot, all you need is

0:37:470:37:50

for just one of your answers to be pointless, just one of them.

0:37:500:37:53

-We need an answer.

-Are you ready?

0:37:530:37:56

No.

0:37:560:37:57

-Yes.

-Yes.

-Thank you.

0:37:580:38:00

Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock, there they are.

0:38:000:38:03

Your minute starts now.

0:38:030:38:05

I have no idea what Adaptation is.

0:38:050:38:07

-1950.

-1950 film, Sunset Boulevard.

0:38:070:38:11

-No idea.

-How old is John Travolta?

0:38:120:38:15

No, he's not...

0:38:150:38:16

-Hail, Caesar is a new film, it's a recent film.

-Who's quite popular?

0:38:160:38:20

-Who's quite popular?

-Russell Crowe played a gladiator before...

0:38:200:38:23

So maybe...

0:38:230:38:25

I think it's fair to say we don't actually have any idea whatsoever,

0:38:250:38:28

-so let's just pick some actors of now, today.

-What about...?

0:38:280:38:33

-Well, I quite like Helen Mirren, so let's say her.

-Say Helen Mirren.

0:38:330:38:37

They might have squeezed in a role for Colin Farrell?

0:38:370:38:42

-I have no idea.

-Yeah, put him in there.

0:38:420:38:44

And let's just go Ewan McGregor.

0:38:440:38:47

-Definitely not.

-OK.

-I don't think he could be a Caesar.

0:38:470:38:50

Sunset Boulevard...

0:38:500:38:51

A 1950s...

0:38:510:38:53

Ten seconds left.

0:38:530:38:55

Who's the lady with the pearls?

0:38:550:38:57

-I don't know who you're talking about.

-No, she wouldn't be pointless,

0:38:570:39:00

not that I can remember her name.

0:39:000:39:02

I'm going to say Tallulah Bankhead, just as an old name.

0:39:020:39:06

OK. There we are.

0:39:060:39:07

Your minute is now up, I'm afraid I now need your three answers.

0:39:070:39:10

Well, to be fair, we don't know anything about those.

0:39:100:39:13

Fair enough. It's a tough category.

0:39:130:39:14

So, for Sunset Boulevard, we're going to say Tallulah Bankhead.

0:39:140:39:19

-For Hail, Caesar, we're going to say Helen Mirren.

-Helen Mirren.

0:39:190:39:23

-And Colin Farrell.

-Colin Farrell.

0:39:230:39:26

OK, of those three, shall we put one as our most likely to be pointless?

0:39:260:39:31

-Tallulah Bankhead.

-Tallulah Bankhead, let's put her last.

0:39:310:39:34

OK, least likely to be pointless?

0:39:340:39:36

-Colin Farrell.

-Of course, Colin Farrell.

0:39:360:39:38

The most obvious person in that film.

0:39:380:39:40

OK, well, let's put those answers up on the board in that order, then,

0:39:400:39:43

and here they are. We have got Colin Farrell,

0:39:430:39:46

Helen Mirren and Tallulah Bankhead.

0:39:460:39:48

Well, very, very best of luck.

0:39:480:39:49

That was a really hard round.

0:39:490:39:51

-I haven't got my hopes up.

-Really hard.

0:39:510:39:53

OK, well, let's just imagine one of these answers came good

0:39:530:39:57

and was pointless, and won you that jackpot,

0:39:570:39:59

what would you do with £3,500?

0:39:590:40:02

-Susan?

-I would dance my way across the Atlantic on the Queen Mary.

0:40:020:40:06

Lovely. Joanna, how about you?

0:40:060:40:08

Well, I was dreaming about a really nice new pair of shoes.

0:40:080:40:12

But I don't think I'm going to get them!

0:40:120:40:15

Well, let's find out.

0:40:150:40:16

Let's not write anything off at this stage.

0:40:160:40:19

Your first answer was Colin Farrell.

0:40:190:40:21

In Colin Farrell and Helen Mirren's case,

0:40:210:40:23

we were looking for cast members of Hail, Caesar, the 2016 film.

0:40:230:40:27

If this is right, and it is pointless, it will win you £3,500.

0:40:270:40:32

How many people named Colin Farrell as a cast member?

0:40:320:40:35

No, I'm afraid not Colin Farrell.

0:40:380:40:40

Which means you only have two more chances to win today's jackpot.

0:40:400:40:43

Your next answer was Helen Mirren.

0:40:430:40:45

Again, we're looking for cast members of the 2016 film

0:40:450:40:47

Hail, Caesar. Let's find out

0:40:470:40:49

how many people said Helen Mirren for £3,500.

0:40:490:40:52

No, I'm afraid not Helen Mirren.

0:40:550:40:57

We now move to Sunset Boulevard cast members,

0:40:570:41:01

and you have named Tallulah Bankhead as an actor from that cast.

0:41:010:41:05

Let's find out if it's right.

0:41:050:41:07

For £3,500, is it pointless?

0:41:070:41:10

Oh, bad luck! I'm sorry.

0:41:130:41:15

Well, I have to say, that was a game effort.

0:41:150:41:20

And a really, really tough round if you didn't know those films.

0:41:200:41:23

I'm afraid you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer,

0:41:230:41:27

so you don't win today's jackpot of £3,500.

0:41:270:41:30

However, what a performance.

0:41:300:41:32

You can be very proud of that. And in recognition of that,

0:41:320:41:34

you get to take home a Pointless trophy each,

0:41:340:41:36

which you can carry above your heads. Very, very well deserved.

0:41:360:41:40

APPLAUSE

0:41:400:41:42

Yeah, one of those occasions where a team absolutely storms through

0:41:460:41:49

to the final and then a very, very tough jackpot round.

0:41:490:41:51

Very tough, especially if you haven't seen the films.

0:41:510:41:53

That makes it particularly difficult.

0:41:530:41:55

All great films, actually.

0:41:550:41:56

Let's look at some pointless answers in all the different ones.

0:41:560:41:59

Hail, Caesar, the Coen brothers' movie.

0:41:590:42:01

Christopher Lambert, the wonderful Frances McDormand,

0:42:010:42:03

she's in lots of their films. Jonah Hill was a pointless answer,

0:42:030:42:06

Michael Gambon who does the narration.

0:42:060:42:08

Everyone in that film, a pointless answer, apart from George Clooney,

0:42:080:42:10

who is the lead, Scarlett Johansson, Channing Tatum, who's brilliant,

0:42:100:42:13

does a fantastic dance routine.

0:42:130:42:15

Josh Brogan and Ralph Fiennes.

0:42:150:42:16

Everybody else a pointless answer,

0:42:160:42:18

so well done if you said anyone else.

0:42:180:42:20

Adaptation, another terrific film,

0:42:200:42:22

let's take a look at the pointless answers here.

0:42:220:42:24

Brian Cox, not that one.

0:42:240:42:26

Curtis Hanson, the film director, is in it.

0:42:260:42:29

Maggie Gyllenhaal and Tilda Swinton.

0:42:290:42:31

Everyone there pointless, apart from Meryl Streep,

0:42:310:42:33

Nicolas Cage and Chris Cooper.

0:42:330:42:35

Sunset Boulevard, lots of people play themselves in Sunset Boulevard.

0:42:350:42:38

Buster Keaton, for example, he was a pointless answer.

0:42:380:42:40

Cecil B DeMille as well, the film director.

0:42:400:42:42

Erich von Stroheim, another film director, is a pointless answer,

0:42:420:42:45

and Hedda Hopper, the Hollywood gossip columnist

0:42:450:42:47

who plays herself in that movie.

0:42:470:42:49

Everyone a pointless answer there,

0:42:490:42:51

apart from Gloria Swanson, William Holden and Nancy Olson.

0:42:510:42:53

Very, very well done if you got a pointless answer at home.

0:42:530:42:56

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

0:42:560:42:58

Susan and Joanna, I'm afraid, didn't win our jackpot today,

0:42:580:43:00

which means it rolls over on to the next show,

0:43:000:43:03

when we will be playing for £4,500.

0:43:030:43:05

Join us then to see if someone could win it.

0:43:080:43:10

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

0:43:100:43:12

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

0:43:120:43:15

Quiz in which contestants try to score as few points as possible by plumbing the depths of their general knowledge to come up with the answers no-one else can think of. Presented by Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman.


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