Episode 55 Pointless

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong. Welcome to Pointless.

This is the quiz show where questions are asked

to 100 people before the show and all our contestants have to do

is come up with the answers those 100 people couldn't think of.

Let's meet today's players.

Now, first up we welcome back Sophie and Jess.

You were on the show last time. Everyone gets two chances

to reach the Pointless final.

This is your second and final chance.

Sophie, remind us how you know each other.

We go to university together and we live in the same halls.

And, Jess, what happened last time?

Um, so the question was Stock, Aitken and Waterman singles

so that was a little bit before our time

and we joined the 200 club.

They were really hard.

They were really, really hard actually.

Anyway, that was last time.

This time, back you come.

Returning couples always tend to do well.

How will you get to the final, Jess? What's going to be good for you?

Um, hoping some sports questions today.

Maybe some... Well, there's not going to be a question about netball

but maybe some football questions would be quite good.

OK. Sophie, how about you?

I work in an Italian restaurant, so maybe something on food

and preferably maybe something on television.

Not geography or history.

-Not geography or history?

-No.

OK, very good. Well, welcome back to the show.

Very, very best of luck to you.

Next, we welcome Lucy and Nell.

Now, how do you to know each other, Lucy?

Um, we've known each other for about eight years. We worked together.

We don't work together now but we've stayed really close.

We've got quite similar interests.

And what work did you do together, Nell?

-We worked for the Arts Council.

-Right.

-And I was assistant theatre officer.

-Very good. Whereabouts was that?

-BRUMMIE ACCENT:

-In Birmingham.

What things do you like to get up to in your spare time, Nell?

-I go to the theatre.

-THEY LAUGH

Very good indeed. Lucy, how about you?

What are your interests?

I do quite a lot of baking in my spare time, so,

friends and family quite often ask me to make celebration cakes.

Excellent. Very popular.

And, well, we are looking forward to it.

I haven't turned up with a cake today, I'm afraid.

-Of course.

-I hear that goes down quite well.

They always say, "I haven't got one today," and then before you know it,

head-to-head starts and they go, "Here's the surprise cake."

Hmm, looking forward to that so much. Mmm.

-Very best of luck to you, Lucy and Nell.

-Thank you.

Particularly looking forward to the bit before the head-to-head.

Now then, Gemma and James.

Next we welcome you back. You were also on the show last time.

What happened, Gemma?

My fault.

First person to go...words ending in B-A-L-L.

Yeah, but ball though, that was a good direction to take it in.

I know, I know, but I should have thought outside of that really.

Never mind.

Ah, well, there we are. Now, today, James...

-Yeah...

-..what do you hope is going to come up?

Um, quite fancy politics.

Quite fancy a bit of film as well.

Bit of music - quite keen on my music,

so any sort of thing like that.

Just not geography or food.

-Not geography of food.

-I can do those. I've got those covered.

-You're an English teacher, Gemma...

-Yes.

..so you're obviously hoping English comes up? Literature?

Something like... Yeah, it would be very embarrassing if it was,

you know, a reasonably well-known piece of literature came up

and I wasn't able to do well.

-Or you went out on a Word's round or something like that.

-Imagine.

Imagine.

Well, Gemma and James' round won last time.

Let's hope we see more of you this time.

Best of luck to the pair of you.

And finally, we welcome Steve and Chris.

Now, how do you two know each other?

Well, we met at university in my first year...well,

-first week pretty much.

-Yeah.

-I got cast in a play by Chris.

-Yeah, we put on a play.

What was the play, Chris?

It was a Canadian play called Wreckhouse

and I didn't really know... I hadn't really read it but we...

You were directing it?

I was co-directing it.

OK. And be honest, was it well co-directed?

There's... I mean, there's stuff I would have done differently...

-Yeah, yeah.

-HE LAUGHS

Where are you from, Chris?

Well, we've come up from Canterbury today

but I'm originally from sort of Wales area.

Obscure Welsh village.

Oh, lovely. What's the name of your village?

Llanfair Llwyth Yfnwg.

-Yes.

-LAUGHTER

Obscure Welsh villages would be a good category.

Good. OK. Well, there we are.

And what do you do down in Canterbury, Steve?

Well, me and Chris actually work together as two of Canterbury's

resident medieval jesters.

-Wow.

-..which is pretty exciting.

For the... There's a medieval visitor's attraction

and we go out onto the streets

and regale all the passing tourists with our alluring, jestering ways.

-And where is it you do this?

-Canterbury.

MUTTERS: So, avoid Canterbury.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

OK. Well, welcome to the show, Steve and Chris.

Very best of luck to you.

We'll find out more about you all throughout the show as it goes on.

There's only one person left to introduce.

He clearly did a lot of reading during his time in prison.

It's my Pointless friend.

It's Richard.

Hiya.

APPLAUSE

-How are you? Are you well?

-I'm very well, thank you.

I've got two returning pairs but neither of those

has been in a head-to-head,

so it could be a very open field today, I suspect.

Two good new pairs as well.

Seems like quite a bright line up.

-Yes.

-Don't you think?

-Yeah, I'd say.

It's hard to work out who's going to get knocked out very early.

I mean...

one of the pairs will, we know that. AUDIENCE LAUGHS

But, you know, I wouldn't like to put my money on who it is.

Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Now, all our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people

before the show. To get through to our final round

and have a chance of winning our jackpot,

our contestants need to find the obscure answers

our 100 people didn't get.

The fewer of the 100 people who knew the answer,

the fewer points you all score.

What everyone's trying to do is to find a pointless answer,

that's an answer that none of our 100 people gave,

and each time that happens, we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Nobody won the jackpot last time so we add another £1,000 to that.

So today's jackpot starts off at £14,250.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

OK, in this first round each of you is giving me one answer

and you cannot confer with your partner.

The pair with the highest score at the end of the round

will be eliminated, so try and make sure that's not you.

OK. Our first category today is...

..Countries.

Can you decide in your pairs who's going first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. And our question concerns...

..Countries And Their International Borders. Richard.

Yes, in a moment Xander's going to show you a list of six countries.

We need you to tell us any other countries

that border one of those six countries,

so, any country in the world that shares a land border

with any of the six countries you are about to see.

By country, we mean a sovereign state that's a member of the UN in its own right.

Right. Sophie and Jessica, you drew lots before the show.

You are going to go first.

So, let me show you the list of six countries.

Reads like this.

HE READS LIST

I'll read those one last time.

HE READS LIST

We are looking for countries which are a land border

with any of these six countries.

These six countries remain on the board

the whole way through the round. Now then, Sophie.

Um... Hmm.

I'm going to have to go with...

I'm guessing it.

Italy with...next to Spain.

Italy, let's see that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many of our 100 people said Italy.

Oh, bad luck, Sophie.

I'm afraid that's incorrect.

-It scores you the maximum of 100 points.

-I'm not surprised at all.

-SHE LAUGHS

-Richard.

-Sorry, Sophie.

If someone tells you they work at passport control

between Spain and Italy, they're lying to you.

-AUDIENCE LAUGHS

-OK.

Now then, Lucy.

My brother-in-law comes from South Africa, so if this is wrong

I'm going to be in trouble,

but I think Botswana has got a border with South Africa.

Botswana. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said Botswana.

Absolutely right.

Eight.

Well done. Well done.

Very well done, Lucy.

That's a terrific answer, Lucy. Well done.

Nearly 2,000km of border between those two.

Now then, James.

Hi.

I'm going to go for Spain bordering France.

France. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said France.

Absolutely right.

57.

APPLAUSE

You're getting quite a surprisingly low score, I would say,

for France and Spain. The border runs through the Pyrenees.

Now then, Chris.

Name any country that shares a land border

with one of these six countries.

I think I'm going to go for obscure just because...

I think that's why I'm here.

I think Andorra borders Spain.

Andorra, says Chris. Andorra. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said it.

Absolutely right.

16.

APPLAUSE

16 for Andorra.

Well done, Chris. An admirable way to play the game as well.

Yeah, it lies in-between France and Spain.

We're halfway through the round. Let's take a look at the scores.

8, very much the best score

of that pass, Lucy.

Then up to 16,

where we find Chris and Steve.

Up to 57,

where we find James and Gemma

and then up to 100,

where we find Sophie and Jess.

Whatever happens in the next pass,

Jess, you definitely have to give a very low-scoring answer

to make it into the next round.

Very best of luck. We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK, so we're looking for countries that border these six countries.

Steve, you're on 16.

The highest scorers are Jess and Sophie on 100.

If you can score 83 or less, you're through to the next round.

OK. I think I'm going to play fairly safe actually.

No, actually, I'll be a bit risky.

I think I'm...I'm hoping that Argentina has a border with Ecuador.

Ecuador, says Steve. Ecuador.

Here comes your red line.

If you can get below that red line with Ecuador

you are through to the next round. Best of luck.

Ecuador. Is it right? And how many people said it?

Oh, bad luck, Steve.

Bad luck. That's an incorrect answer, I'm afraid,

which scores you the maximum of 100 points.

That takes your total up to 116.

Bit of a lifeline there, Jess.

Yeah, sorry, Steve.

I think I might have played that one safe.

I think if your partner's taken a risk

you can...you have the luxury of playing it safe.

Certainly.

Now then, Gemma.

Gemma, the highest scorers are now Steve and Chris on 116.

You're on 57, which means 58 or less will see you into the next round.

I'm pretty sure I flew over Albania on the way to Greece

so I'm going to say Albania.

Is Albania right? How many people said it if it is?

It is right.

And you're through to the next round. Very well done.

APPLAUSE

11 for Albania, takes your total up to 68.

Yeah, well done, Gemma. Already done better than the last time. Good work.

Lies to the north of Greece.

Now then, Nell, you are through to the next round whatever happens.

Even if you score 100 points,

you won't overtake Steve and Chris on 116.

As I'm through anyway.

I think Mexico is near to Argentina.

OK. Let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

60.

APPLAUSE

60 for Mexico.

Takes your total up to 68.

Yes, you got lucky there too, Nell,

cos it doesn't border Argentina but it does border the United States

so it is an acceptable answer in this round.

Now then, Jess, how good is your geography?

It's OK, but I...

Can I tell you how good it needs to be?

-6... Oh, no, 15 points.

-Yeah, 15.

15 or lower.

Botswana scored 8 and Albania scored 11.

Both of that... Things at that kind of level.

Cos I know Zimbabwe borders South Africa

but I think that is quite obvious.

So I'm going to have to go risky

so I'm going to go Paraguay for Argentina.

There's your red line.

If you can get below that red line with Paraguay...

you are through to the next round.

Let's find out if it's right,

and if so, let's see how many people said Paraguay.

It's right.

It's right. Is it going to go down lower than 15?

Yes, it is! Very well done. 10.

APPLAUSE

Very well done indeed.

That takes your total up to 110.

Blimey. Very well played, Jess.

You wouldn't have predicted that after the first answer, would you?

It lies just to the north of Argentina, Paraguay. Very well done.

Let's take a look at the best answers you could have given.

Mozambique would have scored you 1. Swaziland would have scored you 2.

Bolivia, which borders Argentina,

that would have scored you 4.

Other low scorers you could have gone for - Bulgaria, 5,

former Yugoslavia - Republic Of Macedonia would've scored 8,

Lesotho. Botswana, we've already had. Malaysia. They all scored 8.

Shall we look at the worst answers,

the ones that most of our 100 people said?

Mexico, we've already heard, scored 60.

Portugal would have scored 65...

which obviously borders Spain.

And, well, at the top, the longest land border in the world,

Canada and the USA, 72 points.

Thanks very much, Richard.

So, at the end of our first round, our losing pair

with the highest score, it's Steve and Chris.

You took a colossal risk there.

Yeah. I should have gone for a big one.

-They would have been all right.

-They would have all seen you through.

Every correct answer.

Every single correct answer would have seen you through.

LAUGHTER

Oh, it was pure greed, I think.

-Pointless greed.

-Pointless greed.

Listen, Steve and Chris, we'll see you again next time

and we look forward to that very much.

Meantime, thank you very much for playing.

-Steve and Chris.

-APPLAUSE

Right, for the remaining three pairs it's now time for Round Two.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

So, sadly, at the end of this round another pair will be leaving us.

Our category for Round Two is...

..Famous Europeans. Famous Europeans.

Can you all decide in your pairs who's going first,

-who's going to go second?

-THEY WHISPER

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK. So, our question concerns...

Famous Italians.

Famous Italians. Richard.

Yeah, we're going to show you 12 descriptions

of famous people born in Italy.

You need to tell us who they are, please.

We'll accept surnames or the names by which they're most commonly known.

Give us an incorrect answer though, you score 100 points.

The most obscure answer scores the fewest points.

12 in all to have a go at home.

So we're looking for the famous Italians described by these clues,

and here they are.

Our first board.

HE READS LIST

I'll read all of those one last time.

HE READS LIST

There we are.

Six clues to six famous Italians.

Sophie.

OK, so, the only one I'd probably have a clue

would be the fashion designer,

and I'm literally going to have to hazard a guess.

-I'm going to have to say Versace.

-Let's see if it's right.

Let's see how many people knew that if it is right.

Versace.

Bad luck, Sophie.

I'm afraid that's incorrect.

It scores you the maximum of 100 points. I'm sorry.

-Richard.

-Sorry, Sophie, not Versace.

I'll give the correct answer at the end of this pass

in case the others want to have a go at that.

Lucy.

This is not a good category for me

so I'm going to have to play it safe and hope that this is right.

I think the jockey is Frankie Dettori.

Frankie Dettori, says Lucy. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said it if it is. Frankie Dettori.

Absolutely right.

34.

APPLAUSE

34 for Frankie Dettori.

Well done, Lucy. Well played.

He won those races at the combined odds of 25,095 to 1.

-Really?

-The bookies lost an absolute fortune that day.

A fortune.

Wow.

Now then, James.

OK, I've got no idea about the fashion designer.

The Three Tenors must be Pavarotti

but I would have thought that would be quite high,

so I'm going to go for the Chelsea number 25 which is Gianfranco Zola.

Zola, says James. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said Zola.

Absolutely right.

19.

Very well done, James. 19 for Zola.

Yes, born in Sardinia, Gianfranco Zola.

In 2003 they had a vote on the website

for Chelsea's greatest ever player

and he won 60% of the vote.

They love him over there.

OK, let's go through the rest of the board.

Now, the fashion designer,

Sophie said it was Versace.

He was born in 1946.

In 1934 it was Giorgio Armani.

Would've scored 1 point, a terrific answer.

Very well done if you said that at home.

One of the original Three Tenors, absolutely right, James.

It was Pavarotti.

It would've scored you 39 points. You did well to avoid it.

Starred opposite Cary Grant -

Sophia Loren.

14 points that would have scored you.

Constructed an electric battery c.1800, do you know that?

You'll know it when I say it. It's Alessandro Volta.

-Ah.

-Volta. Where we get volts from. 7 points.

So, Armani, actually the best answer on that board.

Thank you, Richard. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at the scores.

James and Gemma,

looking very strong indeed on 19

after James' brilliant answer there with Zola.

34 is where we find

Lucy and Nell.

And then, once again,

back up at 100, Sophie.

So, Jess, we rely on you again to find a really low-scoring answer

on the next board. Let's hope that's enough to see you through.

OK, back down the line now.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK. We're going to put six more clues on the board

and here they come. We have got...

HE READS LIST

I'll read those all one last time.

HE READS LIST

There we are.

Now, remember we are looking for these famous Italians.

And obviously, Gemma, you're going to try and find

the one you think the fewest of our 100 people knew.

I want to take a punt but I think he did quite well

so I'm going to play it safe and I'm just going to say...

Sistine Chapel, Michelangelo.

Michelangelo, says Gemma.

Michelangelo for the Sistine Chapel. Here's your red line.

If you get below that red line you're through to the next round.

Is Michelangelo right? And if it is, how many people said it?

It's right.

And you're through.

-34.

-APPLAUSE

SHE LAUGHS

-That takes your total up to 53, Gemma.

-Well done, Gemma.

I think you got your tactics right as well.

Born in Caprese, near Florence.

Now then, Nell.

The high scorers on 100 are Jess and Sophie. You're on 34.

You want to be scoring 65 or less with your answer.

I hope this is right. I only know two.

I think La Boheme is Puccini.

Puccini, says Nell.

Puccini, the composer of La Boheme. Let's see if it's right.

Let's see how money people said Puccini.

It is right.

And you're through to the next round.

-Whoo!

-8 for Puccini.

APPLAUSE

Takes your total up to 42.

Yeah. Another good answer, La Boheme.

The fourth most-performed opera in the world...

of this century.

The Magic Flute is number one.

Yeah.

AUDIENCE MEMBER CHUCKLES

I don't want to spoil the end but the flute isn't magic.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

Do you know, it was formed

by the coming together of the three elements?

-What was?

-Earth, wind and Fire.

Cos the flute was formed by lightning

that struck a tree and you provide the wind to blow in it.

-It's clever.

-Not true though.

LAUGHTER

Ah, now then, Jess, I have very sad news, I'm afraid.

You are the high scorers even before you've given your answer.

Sophie's gone one step too far this time.

SHE LAUGHS

-Sorry.

-However, you are the last person to have this board.

-Yes.

-Talk us through it if you can.

-OK.

So, I haven't heard of the top film or the book.

I know that Gino D'Acampo won I'm A Celebrity.

And I only know one PM, that's Berlusconi.

OK. So I'm going to say Berlusconi and maybe go out on a high.

So, Italy's longest serving post-war PM, Berlusconi.

OK, Berlusconi, says Jess.

There's no red line for you as you're already the high scorers

but let's see if it's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said Berlusconi.

It's right.

-14.

-APPLAUSE

Great answer. Lovely low score there, Jess.

Sadly, it takes your total up to 114, though. Richard.

Yes, born in Milan in 1936.

It's amazing that virtually everyone in Britain

-can name an Italian politician.

-Amazing.

Gemma, you had the right tactics in this round

but you were going to go for a risky one. What would you have gone for?

I thought La Dolce Vita was Fellini.

You're absolutely right. Federico Fellini.

And that would have scored you 4 points.

You're through anyway.

-SHE LAUGHS

-I know.

And you've had the chance to show off as well...so it's perfect.

You've relaxed for the rest of the round and now you look clever.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

Chef who won 2009.

Absolutely right, Jess, it was Gino D'Acampo.

Would've scored you 20 points. I thought, Nell,

I thought you might go for Accidental Death Of An Anarchist.

It's a terrific play. Do you know that one?

Xander, I bet you know it.

-Dario Fo.

-Dario Fo.

-Dario Fo.

And that's a pointless answer,

so, very well done to anyone who got that at home.

Splendid. Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of Round Two our losing pair

with the highest score, I'm afraid,

finally, Jess and Sophie, you've been beaten.

That was a great answer from you though, Jess.

And Sophie, tricky board.

I knew quite a few answers in the second one which is so annoying.

I knew the Dario Fo so that's really frustrating.

That's really bad.

That would have been a fantastic round otherwise.

We have to say goodbye to you, Jess and Sophie.

It was lovely having you on the show.

Thank you both so much for playing. Jess and Sophie, great contestants.

But for the remaining two pairs

it's about to get even more exciting,

as we enter the head-to-head.

Congratulations, Lucy and Nell, Gemma and James.

You are now only one round away from the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot which currently stands at £14,250.

AUDIENCE: Whoo.

You're now going to go head-to-head,

and the first pair to win two questions

will be playing for that jackpot,

but the big news is you are now allowed to confer.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK. Here comes your first question. And it concerns...

..Female Literary Characters On Film.

Female Literary Characters On Film. Richard.

Yes, can you give us the names of any of the five characters

you are about to see? First name and surname, please.

OK. Let's reveal our five literary characters on film.

And here they are. We have got...

There we are. Five literary characters portrayed on film.

Now.

Lucy and Nell, you've played best so far so you get to go first.

THEY WHISPER

I think we're going to go for C

which we both think, so if it's wrong...

-We're both wrong.

-..the blame is shared.

We think that's Jean Brodie.

Jean Brodie, say Lucy and Nell.

Jean Brodie.

Now then, Gemma and James,

you can talk us through the board if you like.

I know that the film for A is Notes On A Scandal.

I don't know the character.

I know Holly Golightly is D.

I know Cruella De Vil is E.

I think B is Scout Finch

in To Kill A Mockingbird.

That's the one I'd go for then, B.

So let's have a punt.

B, Scout Finch.

Scout Finch, say Gemma and James. Scout Finch.

Lucy and Nell have said Jean Brodie. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many people said it.

Absolutely right.

-32.

-APPLAUSE

32 for Jean Brodie.

Gemma and James have said Scout Finch.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is, let's see how many people said Scout Finch.

Absolutely right.

Well done. You've won the point.

3 for Scout Finch.

That was a punt worth taking, which means, Gemma and James,

after one question you are up 1-0. Richard.

Well played, Gemma.

If any of your English pupils want to have a go at you

show them a tape of that round.

You took us through the board very, very nicely there. Well played.

You're right, it's from Notes On A Scandal.

It's Cate Blanchett playing Sheba Hart.

That's a pointless answer if anybody said that.

It's a terrific answer.

Scout Finch was from To Kill A Mockingbird,

as you say, Jean Brodie from The Prime Of Miss Jean Brody.

If you'd said Holly Golightly...

That's Holly Golightly in Breakfast At Tiffany's.

..you also would have won the point cos it only scores 15.

And at the end there, that's Cruella de Vil in 102 Dalmatians that is.

But that would have scored 56 points.

Thanks very much, Richard. Here comes your second question.

Lucy and Nell, you have to win this question to stay in the game.

Best of luck. It concerns...

..UK Cabinet posts.

UK Cabinet posts. Richard.

Yeah, we're now going to show you the five names

of key UK Cabinet posts

but we're only showing you the initials of that post.

Can you tell us what these posts are, please?

OK. Let's reveal our Cabinet posts.

And here they are. We have got...

HE READS LIST

I'll read those all one last time.

HE READS LIST

Now then.

Gemma and James, you go first this time.

-He's going to do this.

-Well...

Do you want to whisper to me? Do you want to tell me...?

-No, I'll go for it.

-OK.

-Could we go "L For The H Of L",

Leader Of The House Of Lords?

Leader Of The House Of Lords,

say Gemma and James.

Lucy and Nell, you can talk us through the board if you like.

NELL LAUGHS

Um, I know a few of them.

I think "C Of The E" is Chancellor Of The Exchequer.

"S Of The S For D", I think is Secretary Of State For Defence.

So I think we'll go for Secretary Of State For Defence

but I think it's going to be too high.

OK. You're going to say Secretary Of State For Defence.

So, Gemma and James, you have said Leader Of The House Of Lords.

Let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many said it.

Leader Of The House Of Lords.

Absolutely right.

35.

APPLAUSE

35 for Leader Of The House Of Lords.

Lucy and Nell have gone for Secretary Of State For Defence.

Let's see if that's right,

and if it is let's see how many people said that.

It is right.

For you to stay in the game it has to be 35.

Yes, it is! Very well done. 33.

APPLAUSE

33 for Secretary Of State For Defence,

which means, after two questions, Lucy and Nell,

you're back in the game. It's 1-1.

Yeah, that was a close one.

You're right, "C Of The E" is Chancellor Of The Exchequer.

That would have scored you 54 points.

Now, the "S Of S For E and CC",

it's the Secretary Of State For Energy And Climate Change.

Would have scored you 2 points. And the top one is

Secretary Of State For Environment, Food And Rural Affairs.

4 points that would have scored you. So the best answer is

Secretary Of State For Energy And Climate Change.

Thanks very much, Richard. So it comes down to our third question.

Whoever wins this question goes through to the final

and plays for that jackpot. Very best of luck to both pairs.

Our third question concerns...

..Orchestra. Richard.

Yeah, we're now going to show you five clues relating to

the practices and the instruments of Western concert orchestras.

Can you give us the most obscure answer here?

Best of luck, both teams.

OK. Let's reveal our five clues. And here they are. We've got...

HE READS LIST

I'll read those all one last time.

HE READS LIST

There we are. Five clues to facts about the orchestra.

Lucy and Nell, go first.

THEY WHISPER

NELL WHISPERS: The kitchen department's percussion.

Um, the kitchen department is percussion.

Percussion, the kitchen department, say Lucy and Nell.

Percussion.

Now then, Gemma and James, talk us through the board.

You talk through the board.

Well, the leader of the orchestra...

plays the violin.

The conductor directs the orchestra but I'm sure that'll be quite high.

And I'm fairly sure

that the orchestra tunes to A.

Do you think more people will know that

leader of the orchestra plays this instrument?

Let's go for Leader Of The Orchestra. No.

-LAUGHTER

-Yeah, let's go for A then.

-OK.

-Orchestra tunes to A, let's say.

The orchestra tunes to A, say Gemma and James.

Lucy and Nell say the percussion section

is known as the kitchen department.

Let's see if that's right. If it is, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

38.

APPLAUSE DROWNS OUT SPEECH

38. Now then, Gemma and James have said that the orchestra tunes to A.

Let's see if it's right. If it is, let's see how many people said it.

This will let us know who's going through to the final

and playing for that jackpot.

A is absolutely right.

Is it going to go lower than 38?

Yes, it is!

Very well done. 7.

-Oh, my God!

-7 for A.

Very well done indeed, Gemma and James.

After three questions you are through to the final, 2-1.

-Well done.

-Very well played, guys.

A very, very, very good decision there.

You were a millisecond away

from knocking yourself out of the jackpot round there,

because if you'd said the leader of the orchestra plays the violin,

you'd have been right but it would have scored you...

..46 points.

SHE SIGHS

In fact, A is the only answer that would have beaten percussion actually

cos the other two would have scored more as well.

Person who directs the orchestra is a conductor.

Would have scored you 81.

The largest and lowest pitched of the string section?

-Double bass.

-Double bass, absolutely right.

And that would have scored you 40.

So, very, very well played. That was...

JAMES LAUGHS ..very close.

Very well done.

Our losing pair at the end of the head-to-head round is Lucy and Nell.

Oh, that was tough. You knew that answer as well.

-Yes.

-We could hear you deliberating.

-We didn't know whether to risk it.

I couldn't remember whether it was A or E

and I didn't want to risk it, and I wish I had now.

-SHE TUTS

-Sadly, they just pipped you there.

We'll see you again next time, Lucy and Nell. We look forward to that.

-In the meantime, thanks very much for playing.

-Well done.

But for Gemma and James it's now time for our Pointless final.

AUDIENCE APPLAUDS AND CHEERS

Congratulations, Gemma and James.

You fought off the competition and you've won

our coveted Pointless trophy. Very well done.

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot.

At the end of today's show the jackpot stands that £14,250.

AUDIENCE: Whoo.

-So, last time you were on the show you went out in Round One.

-Yeah.

This time, right the way through to the final. How are you feeling?

I think that A is probably my favourite note now.

-AUDIENCE LAUGHS

-I'm not sure I had one before

but now it's definitely A.

Very good. Best of luck. The rules are very simple,

to win the money all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

-OK.

-We've had no pointless answers on the show today.

You only have to find one now and you'll go home with that jackpot.

Firstly, you've got to choose a category. And your choices are...

HE READS LIST

They're all reasonable for us.

They're all reasonable.

-Would you lean towards Thespians more than Theatre?

-Yeah.

OK. All right, we'll go for Thespians.

British Thespians, OK.

Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds

to name as many Ian McKellen films as they could. Richard.

We're looking for any feature film made for general cinema release

for which Ian McKellen has received an acting credit prior to May 2012.

Please, no short films, TV films or documentaries,

that sort of thing but voice performances do count.

Very, very best of luck. It's a big jackpot.

OK, you now have up to one minute to come up with three answers

and all you need to win that £14,250 is for just one of those answers

to be pointless. Are you ready?

-BOTH: Yeah.

-OK, let's put 60 seconds on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

Obvious ones.

-X-Men, X-Men 2, Lord Of The Rings trilogy.

-Yeah.

I've got Walter, which was one of the first ones on Channel 4.

-He's definitely in that.

-OK.

What about any films where he's done about Shakespeare.

-I know he's in Richard III.

-Richard III, OK.

Walter and Richard III.

Um...

I can't think of any that are sort of more thespian Shakespeare.

-Has he done any more Shakespeare? Has he done Macbeth?

-I don't know.

I don't know. I'm trying to think of things where he's been...

Just obscurely popped up and you think, oh, Ian McKellen's in that.

I know he's in Richard III. I know he's done Walter.

-Yeah.

-We've got 30 seconds.

There's obviously the Lord Of The Rings trilogy.

-He's in all X-Men films.

-Hmm.

-So that's X-Men 2.

-Yeah, X-Men 2, do you think, for the last one?

I'm just annoyed we haven't got another better one than that really.

-Yeah.

-But my mind has gone totally blank.

Ian McKellen.

-10 seconds left.

-His name will go on our graves.

JAMES LAUGHS

Um, I think we'll have to go X-Men 2, Walter and...

-SHE WHISPERS

-OK.

-Richard III second?

-Yeah.

OK. Now, there we are. Your time is up.

We were looking for Ian McKellen films.

I now need your three answers.

What are you thinking?

We're not massively strong on Ian McKellen...

-What we've got is X-Men 2.

-X-Men 2.

Um...

-Richard III.

-Richard III.

-And Walter.

-And Walter.

-Yeah.

Now, of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer.

-Walter?

-Walter I think, yeah.

-Walter. We'll put that last.

-Which is your least likely?

-X-Men.

-X-Men 2.

Cos everyone knows them.

OK. Let's put them up on the board in that order.

And here they are.

We've got X-Men 2, Richard III and Walter.

We're looking for Ian McKellen films.

Your first answer, the one you thought was least likely

to be pointless is X-Men 2.

Remember, you only have to find one pointless answer

to win that jackpot of £14,250.

-Massive jackpot, isn't it?

-Don't.

SHE LAUGHS

Let's see. Is X-Men 2 right?

How many people said it?

It's right.

OK, down it goes.

If this goes all the way down to 0 you will leave here with £14,250.

It's still going down into the teens, into the single figures...

6 is where it stops.

-Wow.

-APPLAUSE

I mean, even allowing for the fact that you very cleverly

put in X-Men 2 instead of X-Men.

-That's still very low. 6.

-We watch the show.

-SHE LAUGHS

-We know.

-2 at the end.

-I like what you've done there.

Unfortunately though, it's not a pointless answer,

which means you only have two more chances to win today's jackpot.

Now, what would you do with £14,250?

I haven't really come to terms with the idea that we're even here, so...

-We're just happy with the trophy, to be honest.

-Yeah.

We can't believe we get two. One in the bedroom, one in the living room.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

OK, well, we're looking for Ian McKellen films.

Let's hope nobody said your next answer, Richard III.

This has to be right, obviously. Then it has to be pointless

if you're going to win that jackpot of £14,250.

Let's see.

Is it right? How many people said it? Richard III.

Absolutely right.

X-Men 2 was correct and took us all the way down to 6.

Richard III taking us down through the '20s into the teens.

Down into single figures.

-If this goes all the way down...

-ALL: Oh!

-3.

-APPLAUSE

3...

appropriately for Richard III.

It means you have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

This sounds like a brilliant answer.

Now, where did Walter come from, James?

I remember as a child reading The Top 10 Of Everything

and it had a list of programmes that were broadcast...

The first ten programmes broadcast on Channel 4 in 1982,

and Walter was the film that was on that evening, the film on 4

with Ian McKellen playing, I believe, a handicapped man.

If it has just been a complete kind of fantasy in my head...

ALL LAUGH

Well, we'll just have to cope with that collectively.

That's why I'm with him.

Wow. But these are the sorts of recollections

that win pointless answers.

-Did I sound really cool saying that?

-A little bit.

THEY LAUGH

It's quite impressive. We're looking for Ian McKellen films.

Your third and final answer,

the one you thought was most likely to be pointless was Walter.

Probably not even real.

This was your most confident shot at that jackpot of £14,250.

It has to be pointless if you're going to win it. Let's find out.

Walter.

Is it right? How many people said it?

Best of luck.

-ALL: Ah!

-Oh, no!

APPLAUSE

Oh, bad luck.

Unfortunately, we will discover why shortly.

-That is an incorrect answer...

-Fair enough.

-..which means

you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer.

-Never mind.

-So I'm afraid you don't leave with that jackpot

but you do take home our Pointless trophy,

so very, very well done for that.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, sorry about that. You took us through Walter very nicely as well.

It was one of the first things ever shown on Channel 4.

Ian McKellen is in it, Stephen Frears directed it from 1982

but the clue is in the fact

that it was on the first night of Channel 4, it's not a feature film.

-It was made for television, made for Channel 4.

-Ah.

So, not really shown at cinema.

If it makes you feel any better,

one of our 100 people made the same mistake,

-so even if was a feature film...

-That's all right then.

..you wouldn't have won the cash. Phew.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

Let's take a look at some of the pointless answers that were there.

You played terrifically. Sorry about that.

Alfred The Great he was in. Displaced from 2006.

He stars with Nick Nolte in I'll Do Anything.

Restoration.

The Ballad Of Little Jo, the 1993 Western.

Plays a Jewish historian in The Keep.

The Magic Roundabout, plays the voice of Zebedee in that.

AUDIENCE: Oh.

The Shadow...The Shadow,

where he plays an atomic scientist.

And he plays a psychotherapist in Zina.

Other pointless answers - A Touch Of Love, Amy Foster.

Eighteen, Neverwas and The Promise.

Well done if you've said any of those.

You played so terrifically. SHE MOUTHS

I hope all your students are watching and very proud.

Sorry about the money but, you know, it's been lovely to meet you.

-It's been grand.

-BOTH: Thank you.

Well done, you, though. You've done absolutely brilliantly.

Unfortunately, we have to say goodbye now.

But, Gemma and James, fantastic contestants.

A really great show.

Thanks so much for playing.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Well, Gemma and James didn't win our jackpot today,

which means it rolls over onto the next show

when we will be playing for £15,250.

AUDIENCE: Whoo!

It's almost getting to be one of our biggest jackpots ever.

Join us next time, see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE