Episode 42 Pointless

Thank you very much indeed. Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong.

A very warm welcome to Pointless, the quiz show where obvious

answers mean nothing and obscure answers mean everything.

Let's meet today's players.

-Couple number one.

-Hello there. My name's Stevie.

And my small, Pointless friend here's Ray. We're both from Glasgow.

And we work together.

-Couple Number two.

-Hi, I'm Sam. I live in Hull.

And this is my dad, Malcolm, and he lives in Bedford.

-Couple number three.

-Hi, I'm Harry. This is my friend John.

We're from Edinburgh.

-And couple number four.

-Hi, I'm Shaun.

This is my colleague, Rachel.

I'm from Bedford, she's from Milton Keynes, and we both

work in a special needs school in Bedford.

And these, ladies and gentlemen, are today's contestants.

Thanks, everyone. We'll be finding out more about all of you throughout the show.

There's only one person left for me to introduce.

The Picasso of pedantry, the Mozart of minutiae, he's incomparable,

apart from the two people I've just compared him to, obviously.

-It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

-Hiya.

Hi, everyone.

Um...

-the jackpot...

-Yeah.

-..still going up.

-It is.

-Still going up.

It's a pretty nice jackpot. It's going to go today, I think.

Going to go today, that's my prediction.

I don't know who's going to win it, but I'm always wrong.

But...I think it might go. And to celebrate, question one,

-best question ever.

-Is it? Fantastic.

-Yeah.

-Well, thanks, Richard.

All our questions on Pointless have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our contestants need to find the obscure answers those 100 people didn't get.

Everyone's wanting to find a pointless answer that none of our 100 people got

and each time that happens, we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Shelly and Jenny didn't win the jackpot last time

so we add another £1,000 to that.

Today's jackpot starts off at £18,000.

There we go.

APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

In this round, I'll take an answer from each of you but there's no conferring.

Whichever pair has the highest score at the end of the round will be eliminated

so try and make sure that's not you. Our first category today is...

Famous People.

Can you all in decide your pairs who's going to go first and second.

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

And the question concerns...

..Famous Richards.

-Famous Richards, Richard.

-That's about time, isn't it?

-Isn't it?

Yeah, we're going to give you seven clues on each pass to famous people

throughout history with the name of Richard. Give an obscure Richard, you'll score fewer points,

give us an incorrect Richard, however, and you're going to score 100 points.

So, seven Richards on Round One, seven Richards on Round Two,

14 Richards in all to get at home. Let's Richard.

That's a lot of Dicks. Now...

LAUGHTER

OK, we are looking for the Richards described by these clues

and let's look at the board. The first board reads like this.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are, seven clues, seven Richards. Ray, welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Great to have you here. What do you do, Ray?

I work in a train maintenance depot along with Stevie here.

Do you work together? Is one of you senior to the other?

-Stevie's my manager. Not today he's not.

-Oh!

-So, very much Ray's team, this one?

-Correct.

Now, a lot of people who work in trains

have a fascination with trains all their lives. Is that the case with you?

-Have you always loved trains?

-No.

-No.

-It's just a job.

-Yes.

OK, now then, all these Richards. All these Richards.

-Have you selected a nice low-scoring one, Ray?

-Well, hopefully.

I know probably most of them.

The one I'm going to go for is the actor who was in Withnail and I

-and that is Richard E Grant.

-Richard E Grant, says Ray.

Let's see if it's right. Let's see how many people said it.

Absolutely right.

15.

Good job, Ray.

Great start, Ray. That puts pressure on your boss to do even better.

That E stands for Esterhuysen.

-Does it?

-Yeah, born in Mbabane in Swaziland.

-Sam.

-Hello.

-Welcome back.

Tell us what happened last time.

Well, basically, neither me

nor Malcolm had ever read The Chronicles of Narnia,

never seen the films, anything,

so as soon as the question came up, we knew it was almost game over.

Yeah, that was a tough round if you don't know those.

-Do you call your dad Malcolm, generally?

-No. I call him Dad.

I see, just for the sake of clarity?

It doesn't say Dad on the name badge.

I'm going to call you Dad from now on, Malcolm. Just to balance it out.

-Thanks.

-What do you think of these Richards here?

Only one of them really sticks out at me.

And that's the President of the United States, '69 to '74.

-So I'm going to go with Richard Nixon.

-Richard Nixon, says Sam.

Let's see if that's right and let's see how many people said it.

Absolutely right.

51.

-51 for Nixon.

-Yeah, Nixon also being a senator and a vice president,

and famously had to resign as president in 1974.

-Great name, though.

-Oh, it's a great name, Nixon...

-Richard.

-Ah, yes.

Now then, John. We had you on the show last time as well.

Everyone gets two chances to reach the Pointless final.

This is your second chance. Remind us what happened to you.

We were undone by Radio 4.

Yeah, you were the lowest scorers in our first round.

Admittedly, it was about Scottish football, but...

-Yeah.

-Yes, you decided Mornington Crescent was actually a show.

Well, I had nothing better to say, so I decided to give it a go.

Well, John, what about this one? What about our famous Richards?

I think the actor who played Victor Meldrew is Richard Wilson.

Richard Wilson says John. Let see if that's right.

Does Richard Wilson play Victor Meldrew? How many people said it?

Absolutely right. 51 our highest score, 15 our low.

Oh, pretty much the midpoint.

APPLAUSE

-35, Richard Wilson.

-Well done, John.

He was actually born Ian Carmichael Wilson,

but changed his name to Richard after in the '50s they had that

scientific study of what the most awesome first name was and it was Richard.

So a lot of people changed their name when that came out.

Shaun, welcome to the show.

What do you like getting up to in your spare time, Shaun?

In my spare time, I've started a fledgling comedy career.

-Oh, have you?

-Yes.

-How fledgling?

About 18 months I've been doing stand-up,

but in the last six months,

-I've actually changed it to do comedy ventriloquism.

-Wow.

-Do you have a double act?

-Yes. I have a little puppet.

-That's fine.

-It's not Rachel, though.

-Not Rachel, no.

-My hands are here.

-Now, Shaun, you didn't need to say that.

-Sorry.

LAUGHTER

Space.

How good is your ventriloquism? Go on, say something with your mouth closed.

Well, what I like to do is I like to trick people

cos I start off by talking by moving my lips

and then I just stop and just carry on and it really freaks people out.

Oh, yeah, that does.

That's good.

-Very good. Good stuff.

-Have you got a puppet with you?

I haven't got him with me, no. He's at home.

-Can you get knocked out and bring him on next show?

-Possibly, yes.

-That would be amazing.

-Do I have to replace Rachel, or do I...?

-No, so long as you don't confer, all three of you can come on.

-Thank you.

What's the puppet called?

He's actually called The Real Shaun Jakes.

Ah, very good. VERY good.

So, these are the clues, who are these Richards?

The comedian who co-starred with Gene Wilder is

Richard Pryor, I think.

The leading actor who appeared in Pretty Woman is Richard Gere.

But I'm going to go with author of The God Delusion, Richard Dawkins.

Richard Dawkins says Shaun, the author of The God delusion. Let's see

if that's right, and let's see how many people said Richard Dawkins.

7.

Best score of the round, Shaun. 7 for Richard Dawkins.

Well played, Shaun. He sold more than two million copies

of that book worldwide, Richard Dawkins.

You were right about the other ones you went for.

The leading actor was Richard Gere.

He would have scored you 64 points so it was well avoided.

It WAS the brilliant Richard Pryor, who appeared with Gene Wilder.

Again, would have scored you more points, 20.

-And the composer of Ride Of The Valkyries?

-Richard Wagner.

Richard Wagner, absolutely.

And that would have scored 25

so the best answer there is Richard Dawkins, so very well played.

Very well done. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores. Shaun and Rachel looking very strong on 7.

Up to 15, Ray and Stevie. Up to 35, John and Harry.

Sam and Malcolm, the head-to-headers from last time,

one of our returning pairs, they're on 51.

You're a little bit out in front there. So, Malcolm,

we need some good Richard work on this next board, OK?

Good luck with that.

Can the second pairs, please, take their places at the podium.

OK, let's put seven more clues on the board and here they are.

Seven more Richards.

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Seven famous Richards.

Now then, Rachel.

Rachel, what do you like getting up to?

Er, I like walking my dogs and going to the pub.

How many dogs have you got?

-I've got two.

-Good stuff.

-Any other animals you have?

-Yeah, I've got nine chickens.

-Nine? That's a lot of eggs.

-And five cats and a hamster.

And a bit of a tortoise.

-A bit of a tortoise?

-We've just bought a school tortoise.

-Oh, I see. I was going to say "which bit?"

-He's a shared tortoise.

OK, right, a shared tortoise.

What's his name?

-Ih...Mo.

-Ih-Mo?

No, Mo, sorry.

He's called Mo after Mo Farah.

Can he do the Mo-bot? It would be hard with those...

We're teaching him.

-What a trick!

-But he hasn't got further than that.

I can't see it happening, but still, it may.

Anyway, Rachel, you are on 7,

lovely low score from Shaun in the last pass.

51 the high score, so if you want to avoid becoming high scorers,

43 or less is what you want.

Remember, we are looking for these famous Richards.

I wish I'd had the last board.

-These Richards not agreeing with you?

-I know some of them.

I don't know which one to go for. Erm...

The actor who married Elizabeth Taylor is Richard Burton.

Richard Burton says Rachel.

Here's your red line.

Below that, you are safely through to Round Two. Richard Burton.

How many people said that?

Oh, it's a big score. 77.

84, your total.

That is a big score. Hard to predict, though, sometimes.

Yeah, Richard Burton, once the best paid actor in Hollywood.

OK, thank you very much. Now then, Harry.

Welcome back.

Remind us what you do, Harry.

I'm an English Literature student

at Glasgow University.

I guess Losing My Virginity doesn't really come under

English Literature, nor probably does Love Actually

or Close Encounters of the Third Kind, but nonetheless...

-But Top Gear!

-Yes, highbrow.

I would imagine you probably have a good idea for most of these.

I've got a few guesses

but, at the same time, I'm not sure what's a good score.

I'm going to go for former Blue Peter presenter

and current Radio 5 Live radio presenter, and Richard Bacon.

Richard Bacon, says Harry.

Well, the high scorers are Rachel and Shaun on 84.

There is your red line.

If you can get below that, you're through to the next round.

How many people said Richard Bacon?

Absolutely right.

You've done it.

27.

APPLAUSE

27, taking your total up to 62. You're through to the next round.

A perfectly respectable score for Richard Bacon.

If I was Richard, I'd be quite pleased with that.

-He'll be pleased.

-And that's a proper score.

If you're on that and your name's read out,

you are thinking, "This is going to go to zero, isn't it?"

That must be quite depressing. That's good, though.

-He's a very nice fellow, isn't he?

-He's a very nice fellow, yeah.

One of the great Richards.

Every Christmas, we have a Great Richards dinner.

Oh, you have that get-together, don't you?

-Oh, we don't see Richard for days after that!

-At Wembley.

Cliff Richard plays,

which is, er, that's the only real downside.

LAUGHTER

Thanks very much, Richard.

Now then, Malcolm.

-Yes.

-Richards, Malcolm.

I think I'll go for the, the...

guy who starred in Close Encounters Of The Third Kind,

and I believe that was Richard Dreyfuss.

Richard Dreyfuss says Malcolm.

Well, the high scorers,

Rachel and Shaun on 84. They're not that far ahead of you.

32 is your margin. There's your red line,

if you get below that, you're in the next round.

How many people said Richard Dreyfuss?

Well, it's right.

Oh, you've done it, well done.

21.

APPLAUSE

21 takes your total up to 72.

Well done, Malcolm/Dad.

He's also famously in Jaws, of course,

and won an Oscar for his role in The Goodbye Girl.

Stevie.

-How are you doing, Stevie?

-I'm fine.

-Stevie the boss.

What do you like getting up to in your spare time?

Erm, I like to do a bit of socialising.

Taking a wee bit of interest in local beers and wines, spirits.

Oh, this is very good, yes.

I like eating, as you can probably tell.

-My wife's actually a chef.

-Oh, perfect.

-I love food.

What's your favourite of her things?

My favourite that she makes is

straightforward spaghetti bolognese,

but she makes it like nobody else.

What is it she puts in there?

Don't know, but something totally different to what I put in it.

-You put a fork in it.

-For me, as long as it's got garlic it's fine.

Anyway, Stevie. Richards.

There are some gaps left on the board.

I think you probably know a few of these.

If you want me to talk my way through the board,

that'd be a really good trick.

I know a couple.

The one I would have went for is gone, Richard Dreyfuss.

I'll go for Richard Madeley, TV presenter married to Judy Finnigan.

Richard Madeley at the bottom there, married to Judy Finnigan.

Let's see if Richard Madeley is right.

You're on 15, the highest scorers on 84 are Shaun and Rachel.

You need to be scoring 68 or less, there's your red line.

How many people said Richard Madeley?

Well, it's right.

And you're through. Very well done, Stevie.

Oh, 56.

A popular one, that.

Takes your total up to 71.

Well done, Stevie. It's a big score. 56 for Richard Madeley.

All the remaining answers would have seen you through.

Erm, the businessman whose autobiography is

Losing My Virginity is...?

-Branson.

-Richard Branson, absolutely.

-It's quite a low scorer, though, 19 points. The TV presenter?

-Hammond.

Richard Hammond, yeah, would have scored 37.

Now this is the best answer on the board by some way,

the director and writer of Love Actually?

-Curtis.

-Richard Curtis, yeah,

but would have only scored eight points.

Would have been a terrific answer.

Well done if you got all 14 of those Richards.

That's just going to make Bacon feel even better.

Look at that.

He is essentially three and three eighths times

more famous than Richard Curtis.

And Richard Branson, and Richard Dreyfuss!

And Richard Dreyfuss has got an Oscar!

Where's Bacon's Oscar?

Thanks very much, Richard.

So at the end of our first round, the pair who'll be leaving us

with their high score of 84, not that high a score,

it's Rachel and Shaun.

Very popular round, this, lots of low scores.

No 100s, no incorrect answers.

It was just Richard Burton that did for you, Rachel.

Picked the wrong Richard.

I remembered Richard Branson about five seconds after I said it.

We have to say goodbye to you now, but we will see you next time

and we'll look forward to that very much.

-And maybe the Real Shaun can put in an appearance as well?

-Maybe.

Anyway, we'll look forward to that.

Rachel and Shaun, thanks so much for playing.

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

Sadly, at the end of this round we'll be saying goodbye to

another pair. Hard to say which pair that's going to be.

Only ten points between you all in that round.

Stevie and Ray, our newcomers, you made very easy work of that round.

How are you feeling?

Er, slightly less nervous than I was at the start.

You're settled in now...

-Settling in.

-Good. Well, very best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two is...

It's Royalty. Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, the question concerns...

Royal weddings at Westminster Abbey.

Between the year 1000 and 2012,

there have been 16 royal weddings at Westminster Abbey, 16 royal weddings.

We'd like you to name any bride or groom from any of those weddings.

Anyone who's been involved in a royal wedding at Westminster Abbey.

Very best of luck.

-What were the dates?

-Between 1000...

-Right.

-We don't say that very often, do we?

-No, not often.

-And 2012.

And no-one's allowed to say that's before my time.

And this is as verified by the Westminster Abbey website.

OK, thank you very much. So, then, Ray.

What is the most obscure royal wedding that took place

at Westminster Abbey that you can dream up?

I'm afraid this is quite a bad category for me, but erm...

I'm going to have to take a stab here, I think,

and go for Sarah Ferguson.

Sarah Ferguson, says Ray. Let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 said Sarah Ferguson.

It's right.

Nine!

APPLAUSE

This is brilliant, Ray.

-Nine for Sarah Ferguson.

-Well played, Ray.

She became the Duchess of York in 1986.

Thank you very much. Now then, Malcolm.

Any bride or groom in a royal wedding at Westminster Abbey.

Erm...

..this is a real stab in the dark.

Er, Prince Philip.

Prince Philip, says Malcolm.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said it if it is.

It is right.

30.

APPLAUSE

-30.

-Yeah, Philip Mountbatten, Prince Philip of Denmark,

Prince Philip of Greece, got married in 1947 in Westminster Abbey.

Now then, John.

Remember, we're looking for any bride or groom

from a royal wedding at Westminster Abbey.

Are you going to have another stab in the dark, do you think?

Erm, I have absolutely no idea

what royal weddings have taken place where.

Erm...

so I'm just going to have to guess at somebody.

So, Queen Elizabeth II.

Queen Elizabeth II.

OK, let's see if that's right,

let's see how many people said Queen Elizabeth II.

It's right.

46.

APPLAUSE

That's who Prince Philip got married to!

I was just racking my brains.

Yeah, d'you remember? Lovely day that was.

-Oh, wasn't it?

-Oh, bunting!

-Yes.

We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at the scores. Nine, Ray!

Nine, look at that! Fantastic score.

Stevie, he's put you in a very strong position,

I'd say, for the next pass.

Then up to 30 where we find

Malcolm and Sam, up to 46 where we find John and Harry,

so, yes, Harry, that is a high score.

It would be a shame to lose you at the end of this round.

You're going to have to find a really obscure bride or groom from a royal wedding.

Can the second players please take their places at the podium?

OK. So, Harry, now is your moment. How are you feeling about this?

Bit nervous, cos I've got to take a bit of a gamble.

I heard something about you, Harry.

I heard that you were Scottish Student Journalist of the Year.

-That's true, once upon a time.

-That's an amazing achievement.

Are you still involved in journalism?

Yeah, just sort of edit my student newspaper and yeah,

did a bit of work at the Olympics.

-You cover sporting events, do you?

-Yeah, sport's my main interest.

-I see, so not so much royal weddings?

-It's not my speciality.

Not so much royal weddings from history.

Yeah, erm...

..I'm going to take a gamble on Prince Albert,

who I think married Queen Victoria.

Prince Albert says Harry.

No red line for you, you are the highest scorers.

But let's see how many people said Prince Albert.

Oh!

Bad luck, Harry. You were doing the right thing there,

trying to find a nice obscure one, but I'm afraid it was too obscure,

and actually, in the event, incorrect. Scores you 100 points,

takes your total up to an unbeatable 146.

Sorry, Harry, they got married at the Chapel Royal

in St James' Palace, I'm afraid.

Sam.

-Yes.

-Sam, you're in the head-to-head again.

This is great news.

How are you feeling about brides or grooms from royal weddings?

Erm, I can't say I know too much about the monarchy, erm,

but I've got an answer that should leave my options open.

OK. Well, your options, I'd say, are pretty much open guaranteed.

Even if you get this wrong, you're still in the head-to-head, Sam.

-OK.

-It's all good.

I'm going to say, because he had a few of them, Henry VIII.

Henry VIII, yes, good,

nice broad choice there. Henry VIII, says Sam.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said Henry VIII.

No red line for you, you're already through.

It's incorrect, but it doesn't matter.

You're through to the head-to-head.

That scores you 100 points, takes you up to 130,

but you're through.

Yeah, he had two in Hampton Court Palace and the others were in Vegas.

LAUGHTER

Thanks, Richard. Stevie!

You are in the head-to-head.

Good.

We're looking for any bride or groom who got

married at Westminster Abbey.

How d'you feel about this question?

I was going to have a stab at maybe getting a pointless one

but the last answer scuppered that because she married Henry VIII.

So, I will have to plump for another stab in the dark, erm,

-Sophie, Countess of Wessex.

-Sophie, Countess of Wessex, says Stevie.

Let's see if that's right.

No red line, you're already through.

Let's just see how many people said Sophie, Countess of Wessex.

Oh! Bad luck.

Another incorrect answer, scores you 100 points, takes your total to 109.

Doesn't matter. You're in the head-to-head.

That's a proper high scoring round, isn't it? Very impressive.

Yeah, they got married at St George's Chapel in Windsor.

Erm, let's take a look at some of the pointless answers.

In 1919, Alexander Ramsay married Princess Patricia.

-Don't get many Princess Patricias any more, do you?

-Not so many.

She was a pointless answer as well.

Angus Ogilvy married Princess Alexandra,

she wasn't a pointless answer.

Gilbert, the Earl of Gloucester, of course,

in 1290, married Joan of Acre.

-She was a pointless answer.

-What a wedding.

-Wasn't it? We had a day off, didn't we?

-That was brilliant.

Aww, all that mead!

-Ooh!

-Ooh! Blimey.

No wonder they called it the Dark Ages.

Henry Lascelles, he married Princess Mary in 1922,

she was pointless as well.

John II, he married Margaret of England, well,

Margaret Plantagenet, she was also pointless.

Prince George, Prince George married Princess Marina,

she was also pointless, so we've seen these last three.

Princess Marina, Princess Mary and Princess Patricia.

Well done if you said any of those.

Let's take a look at the highest scoring answers.

Funnily enough, the Queen was only third, Queen Elizabeth II,

she would have got you 46. D'you know who the top two would be?

Er, Duke of Cambridge

-and er...

-To give them their official titles, yeah,

in second place it was Catherine Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge,

would have scored 49, and Prince William, up the top on 59.

Marvellous. Thank you very much, Richard.

So, at the end of Round Two,

our losing pair with their high score of 146, it's Harry and John.

I'm so sorry. But you were doing the right thing there.

You were trying to find a good, obscure answer. Ah, bad luck!

And I'm afraid this is where we say goodbye, Harry and John.

It's been great having you on both shows,

but we've come to the end of the road.

Thanks for playing, Harry and John. Great contestants.

APPLAUSE

For the remaining two pairs, they're getting closer to the final

and the chance of taking that jackpot,

as we enter the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

Well, congratulations, Ray and Stevie, Malcolm and Sam,

you are now only one round away from the final,

and a chance to play for our jackpot which currently stands at £18,000.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Now, only one pair can play for that money,

so we need to decide which pair it's going to be.

To do that, we're going to make you go head-to-head.

The difference is you are now allowed to confer,

and the first pair to win two questions will be playing for the jackpot.

So, Malcolm and Sam, you were our lowest-scoring pair last time.

You are standing where Ray and Stevie are now.

-We are.

-How do we feel about this?

Well, I think the extra little bit of time that we get

to think about the answers could prove beneficial.

Oh, it could. Yes, it can sometimes work like that. It can.

-Ray and Stevie, congratulations. Here you are.

-Thank you.

The dizzy heights of the head-to-head

on your first Pointless appearance. Very impressive.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

APPLAUSE

OK, here comes your first question, and it concerns...

Sporting Captains.

Sporting Captains. Richard?

We're going to show you five captains of sports teams now.

All you have to do is tell us which sport they represent.

-Very, very best of luck.

-OK, thanks very much.

Let's reveal our five sporting captains. And here they come.

We have got...

So there we are. Five sporting captains.

We want to know what sports they represent.

Now then, Ray and Stevie, you've played best so far,

so you get to go first.

What do you think?

THEY WHISPER

We know four of them,

but we're going to go for A,

-and that is curling.

-A - curling.

A - curling, say Ray and Stevie.

Now then, Malcolm and Sam, the board is yours.

Now, A was...

A was our first choice, I think.

But, erm, I think...

THEY WHISPER

OK, we're going to go with E, and golf.

E - golf.

So we have A - curling, E - golf.

Ray and Stevie have gone curling - A. Let's see if that's right.

If it is, let's see how many people said it.

Absolutely right.

Oh, that's a great answer. Look at that.

18 for curling. Very well done.

APPLAUSE

And Malcolm and Sam have said that E - golf. E is golf.

Let's see if that's right. Let's see how many people said golf.

It's absolutely right.

Ooh, it's getting close!

Look at that! Ooh, 21!

APPLAUSE

21 for golf. But Ray and Stevie, just got that one.

So after one question, you are up, 1-0.

Two good answers there.

That's Eve Muirhead there,

the skipper of the GB women's curling team at the 2010 Olympics.

Now, B is Charlotte Edwards, the captain of the England cricket team.

She would have scored you five points.

A very good answer. Best answer there, actually.

C is Martin Johnson, used to be the England rugby captain, of course.

He would've scored you 43.

D is Casey Stoney, who is the captain of the England football team.

The England women's football team.

Would have scored you 7 points.

And there is Jose Maria Olazabal,

who captained the European Ryder Cup team to victory in 2012.

Very good. Now, Malcolm, did you know any of those?

-I knew them once they'd come up.

-Yeah, I do that as well!

-It's quite good, that!

-OK, here comes your second question.

Malcolm and Sam, you need this one to get back in the game.

And it concerns...

Mount Rushmore. Mount Rushmore. Richard?

We're going to give you five clues to facts about Mount Rushmore.

-What's the most obscure answer you can find?

-Thanks very much.

OK, let's reveal our five clues.

And here they are. We have got...

I'll read those all one last time.

There we are. Five clues to facts about Mount Rushmore.

Malcolm and Sam, you go first.

The only one I'm 100% sure of is the first one,

so I think there are four presidents depicted on the memorial.

OK, four presidents, say Malcolm and Sam.

Ray and Stevie?

Erm, we're not really sure of the other ones, actually.

I think the state might be Arizona.

But the one we're going to go for is...

..the first president depicted on it,

which is George Washington.

George Washington, say Ray and Stevie.

The first president depicted on Mount Rushmore.

OK, Malcolm and Sam have said there are four presidents.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people said four.

38.

APPLAUSE

38. Ray and Stevie have said George Washington is the first,

chronologically, of the presidents depicted.

Let's see if that's right, and if it is, how many people said it.

It's right. If you go lower than 38, you go through to the final.

Yes, you've done it!

-APPLAUSE

-Very well done. 17.

Very impressive.

All of which means, Ray and Stevie, after only two questions,

you're through to the final, 2-0.

Well played, Ray and Stevie. Yeah, four presidents.

George Washington, Thomas Jefferson,

Abraham Lincoln, and Theodore Roosevelt.

It's an extraordinary piece of work, Mount Rushmore.

450,000 tonnes of rock were blasted out of that rock face.

They were originally supposed to be shown from the waist up,

but they ran out of money after they'd done the heads,

so it's just the heads. There you go.

The century in which it was created,

well, it was started in 1927.

So the 20th century. It took 14 years, by and large, to create.

That would've scored 23 points.

It's in South Dakota, not Arizona.

South Dakota would've scored 14 points.

And the artist who designed it is Gutzon Borglum.

He was a Danish American.

Gutzon Borglum would have scored you 3 points.

Three people knew that?!

Yeah, three people knew Gutzon Borglum.

Yeah, he's obviously got relatives in the country!

But his son, Lincoln Borglum took over when he passed away.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

So our losing pair in the head-to-head, I'm afraid,

Malcolm and Sam, it's you, for the second time.

The head-to-head has headed you off!

It's been a great performance in both shows.

A really solid performance from each of you. Some great answers there.

And really, really close as well in this head-to-head.

But we have to say goodbye.

Malcolm and Sam, thanks so much for playing.

APPLAUSE

But for Ray and Stevie, it's now time for our Pointless Final.

APPLAUSE

Well, congratulations, Ray and Stevie.

You've seen off the competition

and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.

You now have the chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £18,000.

APPLAUSE

Well, I have to say, that's about as exemplary a performance

on Pointless as I've seen. You've made very easy work of that.

Straight through, your first appearance on the show,

and a 2-0 victory in the head-to-head.

How are you feeling now?

-Yeah, good. Pleased to be here.

-Pretty good.

OK, well, very, very best of luck, guys. The rules are very simple.

To win the money, all you have to do is find a pointless answer.

Do that, and you'll go home with £18,000.

Firstly, you've got to choose a category,

and here are your five options. They are...

Boxing, Playwrights, Albums,

US Politics, Katie Price.

LAUGHTER

-I don't want to do Playwrights.

-No, definitely not Playwrights.

Definitely not Katie Price. Albums?

Albums, it's going to be albums by somebody...

It's potluck, really.

What do you want, potluck with Albums, or potluck with Boxing?

-Albums.

-OK.

-Albums, it is.

-He's the boss!

Albums, it is.

It's Ray's team, Ray's rules.

OK, let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many

acts who had a UK number one album in the Noughties as they could.

Phew! Richard?

This is really gettable, guys.

We're looking for any act that had a number one album

between January 2000 and December 2009 in the UK charts.

Very, very best of luck.

OK, you now have up to one minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that £18,000

is for just one of those answers to be pointless.

-OK, are you ready?

-Yes.

-Yes.

Let's put 60 seconds on the clock. There they are.

Your time starts now.

People like Tinie Tempah, Dizzee Rascal,

they were all recent,

and they've all been mega, so definitely one of those.

Tinie Tempah, we'll go for.

Go for the two of them if you want,

and we'll go for something a wee bit older.

-Right. About 2000?

-Thingy, erm...

-We're stuck.

-No, no, no, not stuck!

It's on the tip of my tongue.

Get it out then!

-Robbie Williams, what's his group?

-Take That.

-Take That, they brought one back, didn't they?

-That's right.

They had a huge hit with it.

That would definitely be a number one but it's probably not pointless.

Will it be, though?

-Because a lot of people think Take That was before that.

-Well, OK.

I'm trying to think of someone else.

We've got 20 seconds yet.

Tinie Tempah, Dizzee Rascal...erm...

-Kasabian.

-That's a good one.

-10 seconds left.

-Biffy Clyro?

Somebody like that?

We'll go with those three.

-OK.

-That'll do us.

OK, time is up.

We're looking for any act who's had

a UK number one album in the Noughties.

I now need your three answers.

-Right, Tinie Tempah.

-Tinie Tempah.

-Erm, Biffy Clyro.

-Biffy Clyro.

LAUGHTER

Yeah, I know Biffy(!) Come on! Yeah!

We'll go with Professor Green.

Professor Green.

Of those three,

which do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer?

-Professor Green?

-No, Biffy Clyro.

Biffy Clyro? Good, good option.

Nobody's ever heard of it.

-It's a band!

-Right!

Let's put Biffy Clyro last on the list.

And who would you like to go first? Which is your least likely?

-Tinie Tempah.

-Tinie Tempah, OK.

Let's pop those up on the board in that order, and here they are.

We have got Tinie Tempah, Professor Green, Biffy Clyro.

So we were looking for acts

who've had a UK number one album in the Noughties.

Your first answer, Tinie Tempah,

you thought was probably least likely to be pointless.

Only one of these has to be pointless

for you to win that jackpot of £18,000.

So let's see, Tinie Tempah, is it right, how many people said it?

OK, not Tinie Tempah.

An incorrect answer, as it turns out.

But two very good answers on the board remain.

One of those, surely, can win you that jackpot of £18,000.

Now then, Ray, what would you do with £18,000?

With your share of that?

Stick it on the 3:30 at Kempton tomorrow.

LAUGHTER

No, I'd take the family to Disneyland.

Very good. Stevie, how about you?

I think I would take my wife on a cruise.

Lovely. Well, very, very best of luck.

We've got to get rid of this jackpot one of these days.

Today seems like a perfectly good day to do that.

We're looking for acts who've had

a UK number one album in the Noughties.

Your next answer, Professor Green, it has to be right,

it has to be pointless for you to win the jackpot.

Let's find out how many people said Professor Green. Is it pointless?

No!

Prof hasn't had a UK number one album in the Noughties, I'm afraid.

So you only have one more chance to win today's jackpot.

Everything is now riding on Biffy Clyro.

You put this as your last answer.

You thought this was your best shot at a pointless answer.

We're looking for any acts

that have had a UK number one album in the Noughties. Biffy Clyro.

If it's right, if it's pointless, you leave here with £18,000.

Let's find out how many people said Biffy Clyro.

Oh, no!

-APPLAUSE

-Oh, well!

I'm so sorry, Ray and Stevie.

Unfortunately, you didn't manage to find any pointless answers there.

Well, you didn't manage to find any correct answers there either,

which means you don't win today's jackpot of £18,000,

which rolls over to the next show.

You've been brilliant contestants.

It's been lovely having you on the show.

And you get to take home our Pointless trophy.

APPLAUSE

Oh, guys, I really wanted you to win,

and it's just about to get a whole lot worse in a number of ways.

It really is. Tinie Tempah did have a number one album, but it was in 2010.

Just after our time there.

Biffy Clyro in 2007 had a number two album.

And you chose Professor Green, I think, replacing Kasabian,

who had two number one albums,

and they were a pointless answer.

AUDIENCE GASPS

I'm going to make it worse

by telling you there are so many pointless answers here.

Let's take a look at a few of them,

and I'll go through a few more as well,

after we've looked through these boards.

AC/DC, David Gray, and Eva Cassidy, you could have had.

Steve Brookstein, Sting, The Darkness.

The Eagles, The White Stripes, Vera Lynn, believe it or not,

but I'll go through some others.

ABBA, Atomic Kitten, Avril Lavigne,

Blue, Bob Dylan, Calvin Harris, Christina Aguilera.

You could have had Florence and the Machine,

you could have had Foo Fighters, Franz Ferdinand, Gorillaz,

Green Day, Guns N' Roses, Justin Timberlake, Kanye West.

You could have had Lily Allen, Maroon 5, McFly.

There's Muse, Morrissey, Razorlight,

Red Hot Chili Peppers, S Club 7,

Sugababes, Chemical Brothers, The Prodigy, The Strokes.

There's a huge amount of pointless answers and you had one.

Kasabian would have been a brilliant answer.

So gutted. You've been brilliant.

-I'm so sorry you're not taking home the money.

-It's OK.

ALEXANDER GROANS LAUGHTER

Oh, I'm so sorry!

Well, unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to you, Ray and Stevie.

It's been just brilliant having you on the show.

Really, really good fun. Thank you so much for playing. Ray and Stevie.

APPLAUSE

Ray and Stevie didn't win our jackpot today, so it rolls over.

Which means on the next show, we'll be playing for £19,000.

CHEERING

Join us next time to see if someone can win it.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd