Episode 2 Richard Osman's House of Games

Hello there.

I'm Richard Osman, and welcome back to House Of Games,

the show where I'm joined all week by four famous faces

all playing a series of quizzes in an attempt to win

this extraordinary trophy that we got

from one of Britain's finest key-cutting shops.

And this week's players are Nish Kumar, Anneka Rice, Clara Amfo

and Al Murray.

APPLAUSE

Welcome back, everybody. Welcome back.

Ready to join battle once again. Yesterday we had our first round.

Let's take a look at our leaderboard. Al Murray in the lead.

Very, very well played yesterday.

-Thank you.

-Are you pleased with your performance?

Well, you know, although I racked up half my points

in the first round, and then sort of struggled on till the end...

Very good on the buzzer.

I think the buzzer and I, we've got a bit of a thing going on.

I think so too. The opposite of Anneka.

We'll get on to you, Anneka, in a minute.

Nish Kumar in second place.

You were trailing all the way through, then had a good end.

I lined them up.

I knew I had them exactly where I wanted them, way ahead of me,

and I used that as a motivation.

-You kicked off the bend.

-Yeah, kicked off the bend.

And Clara, you nearly won it. Had a disastrous final round.

Any new tactics for today? Cos we want to see you overtake Al Murray.

No-one wants Al Murray to win again. That's the truth. With respect, Al.

-LAUGHTER

-I do.

Sorry. No-one apart from Al Murray wants Al Murray to win again.

The tactic is I'm just going to triple check that my buzzer

is working and wish myself the best of luck.

-And talking of buzzers working. Anneka...

-Yes.

-Now, a solid fourth place yesterday.

-It's a solid fourth place.

Solid, respectable fourth place,

but the problem was all on the buzzer round.

Yeah, I've got a phobia about the buzzer.

I cannot make the connection.

I've got an incentive now,

because I really want to go home in your dressing gown.

Well, the dressing gown - that's what Al won yesterday,

you chose the House Of Games dressing gown.

Different prizes today.

-I had a fantastic evening wearing it.

-Different prizes today.

At the end of the week, they win a trophy,

but every day there's the daily prizes.

Let's take a look at today's daily prizes. ALL GASP

House Of Games picture frame. You can put your own picture in that.

A towel. House Of Games driving gloves.

That's not bad, right?

-House Of Games driving gloves. House Of Games tankard.

-Oh, I love that.

-Or a House Of Games alarm clock.

-Hmm.

-Oh.

-What would you go for, Anneka, if you were to win today?

-Towel.

-Absolutely no question.

-If I can't go home in your dressing gown,

I want to be wrapped up in your towel.

-Nish, driving gloves, right?

-I can't actually drive, so...

-You don't have to drive.

-All right, well, great, then.

-Just wear them around the house.

-The driving gloves it is.

Driving gloves. OK, so we've seen who's leading.

Al Murray, you are currently our weekly leader.

It can all change today. You know how it goes by now.

We play a series of games. We don't know what they're going to be.

I press this button, and we'll find out. Shall we play our first game?

-Yes.

-Let's do it.

-And it is...

Here is how this is going to work.

You'll see a factual statement where one word is incorrect.

You need to spot the incorrect word and tell us

what we should change it to.

Point for every correct answer. It's not on the buzzers.

-That's good news, isn't it?

-Yeah!

-Yes!

-You'll get individual questions.

This is really calling Anneka's bluff, isn't it?

-Nish Kumar, we will start with you today.

-Lovely stuff.

Very best of luck. Here's your first question.

What do you need to change here?

I mean, instinctively I want to say, "Nothing,"

-cos I want that to be true so badly.

-But didn't they get married in 2007?

Yeah. You're right, yeah.

The mistake is the name Eamonn Holmes,

and it should have been Katie Holmes.

-So you think he married Katie Holmes in 2006?

-Yeah.

-He did indeed.

-Point to Nish Kumar. Well done.

-Anneka Rice.

-Hello.

-Here is your statement.

-LAUGHTER

-Oh, if only they were!

But I think instead of the Sabbath we'll chuck in a Rod.

So you think they are summoned by Black Rod to hear

the Queen's Speech. Are you right?

You are indeed. Of course you are.

-That's nicer, isn't it?

-So doesn't... That proves...

-That's gentler.

-Yeah, that's so much better.

-Clara Amfo.

-Hello.

Here is yours. What have we got wrong here?

Even though it would be really fun for people in Switzerland

to speak Klingon, I feel that's incorrect.

So you think Klingon is incorrect,

but what do you need to replace it with?

I would say German.

Are you right? Let's take a look.

Well played, Clara.

-Al Murray, sir.

-Hmm.

-Our current leader.

Here is your statement. What do you need to change here?

Well, I saw it last year, and it might as well be.

He's very waxy.

Like an ancient cheese.

Maybe this is absolutely right, but it's Red Square.

Change Leicester to Square. Let's see.

Absolutely right. Very well played. APPLAUSE

One point each. Back to Nish Kumar.

Your second question. What have we got wrong here?

Some unkind people have said that this book did have

the literary merit of The Highway Code, Richard,

but I believe it was The Da Vinci Code.

The Da Vinci Code. Is that right?

It is indeed. Very well done. The Da Vinci Code.

Anneka Rice, here is your statement. What have we got wrong?

I know. Of course I know what it is,

but I'm just doing one of those things where I've got brain freeze.

Any of those words you fancy changing?

-No?

-No.

-Nothing?

INCORRECT BUZZER

Fingers on buzzers. BUZZER

Clara Amfo.

In 2004, The History Boys gave James Corden his big break.

Very well played, Clara. That was a tough one, Clara.

Well played, Clara. Stole a point there. APPLAUSE

Round of applause. How about that?

It is now your question.

Oh! I want to say "Gordon Bennet"!

Just need to change one of those words.

It's definitely "Gordon",

and she is not called Emma, cos that's the other Jane Austen book.

-Oh, my gosh.

-Yeah, I know.

-Shout out to my GCSE English teacher.

-You might have to guess.

-Oh! Is it "Nan"?

Is Nan Bennet correct?

INCORRECT BUZZER

-No...

-It is not Nan. Anybody else?

BUZZER

-Anneka?

-Sorry!

If you snooze, you lose.

-Nish Kumar.

-Elizabeth Bennet.

-Elizabeth Bennet is the right answer, yeah.

-Damn it!

Is there someone in that book called Nan, or did I make that up?

Perhaps your nan read it to you.

Al Murray, last question in this round.

What have we got wrong here?

I wish I was living in that parallel world right now.

Are you saying this is a trick question?

I like the idea of walking out the door and that being true.

-It's Liam Fox, not Samantha.

-Change Samantha to Liam.

-Yep.

Is that right?

It is indeed. Well played, Al Murray.

Let's take a look at the scores at the end of our first round.

For the first time, Al Murray is not in the lead.

Anneka, you're on the board. One point.

Two points for Al and for Clara.

Nish Kumar, our leader on three points.

Well played, Nish.

On to round two. What are we playing next?

OK, this is a pairs game.

As always in pairs games, the person in last place chooses their partner.

As always thus far this week, that person happens to be Anneka.

It's just a coincidence. I know that.

Anneka, you chose Al to be your partner in a pairs game yesterday.

-Who are you going to choose today?

-Do you know what?

-I'm just going to sit where I am and go with Nish.

-Stay with Nish?

-Yeah.

We've got Nish and Anneka, and we've got Clara and Al.

Here is how this round works. We're going to show you eight categories.

One of you will choose from the left-hand side,

and one of you will choose from the right-hand side,

and I will give you a question that combines the two categories.

Let's take a look at your categories today.

-WHISPERING:

-Please don't be cricket!

So you will give me two of those.

I will give you a question that combines them.

OK? Nish and Anneka, you will go first.

Nish, will you choose a category from the left-hand column, please?

NISH EXHALES SHARPLY

I mean, I guess I'm going to have to pick Kisses.

Kisses, says Nish. Anneka, what will we combine that with?

-Musicals, I think.

-Kisses and Musicals, OK.

And here is your question that combines those two.

1999?

Wicked, maybe?

-Is that too late?

-"Tell me does she kiss, like I used to kiss you?"

-Have you got this at home?

-A contemporary...

It's got a contemporary sort of feel to that line.

Is it Mamma Mia?

Will we go with Mamma Mia? Your answer is Mamma Mia.

Is Mamma Mia right?

-Yay!

-It is!

-Well done!

-You're very good on your Abba.

-What song is it in particular?

Yeah, what song is that?

-Yeah.

-It's from The Winner Takes It All.

-Oh!

-Oh!

Clara, choose a category from the left.

You can have Kisses again if you want.

I am going to go for Balloons.

Balloons, says Clara.

And Al.

Cities.

Balloons and Cities. OK.

Here is a question that combines Balloons and Cities.

Why did I pick Balloons?

Why did I pick Cities?

I think we may have both peaked.

Do you remember the glory days of Al Murray?

As good as I get.

I don't know. You know, I'd plump for Paris or something.

Maybe got a balloon off the Montgolfier brothers.

-Ages since I've seen the film.

-So you're going to go for...

-Paris.

-Paris. Happy with that, Clara?

-Are you happy with that?

-I'm happy with that, Al.

-I think I might have gone for Paris.

Let's take a look at the correct answer. Was it Paris?

-Yes!

-Oh, it was Paris!

Very well played. Very well played, both pairs.

Anneka, will you choose something from the left-hand column

there for your pair.

-Cold Things.

-Cold Things. Nish, something from the right?

-It's got to be Cartoons.

-Cold Things and Cartoons.

-That's a good combo.

-Good combo.

-Here we go. Here is your question combining those.

That is Lisa Simpson.

-Happy with that, Anneka?

-Yeah.

-Wow.

-Is it Lisa Simpson?

It is indeed. Very well played.

-AL:

-Amazing.

-NISH:

-I watched The Simpsons when I was a teenager instead of talking

to girls, so it's all paid off now.

Hasn't it just?

They'll all be watching now, the girls, won't they?

-Going, "That guy!"

-"The Simpsons guy!

"We should have kissed him on his Simpsons-loving face!"

Al, please choose something from the left-hand column.

-Horses.

-Horses. And Clara, something from the right.

I'm going to go for Musicals.

-Here's your question.

-Oh, man!

Guys And Dolls.

-Yes. What Al said.

-Guys And Dolls.

-So you're saying Guys And Dolls, Clara?

-I'm saying Guys And Dolls.

Let's take a little look. Here's the answer. Guys And Dolls.

-Probably wrong.

-I reckon you're right.

-Yes!

-You are right. Very well played.

Terrific round for everybody, there.

Let's take a look at the scores at the end of that round.

Three points for Anneka. Four points,

joint silver medallists Clara and Al.

Nish Kumar, still in the lead on five.

-Close. Very close.

-Very nice.

-They seem like good pairings to me. NISH:

-Yeah.

Nothing wrong at all. I don't want to put any pressure next time...

On the next show, if there's a pairs game,

and the person in last place, Anneka, has to choose

what team they're going to be on,

I just wonder who you're going to choose.

I like it. I'm liking all the attention, to be honest.

I'm just sitting here doing very little.

But you're still only two points behind the lead.

-Yeah.

-Shall we play another round?

-Let's do it.

Let's see what we're going to play next.

Now at House Of Games we can make a quiz out of anything,

including your names.

We've taken the letters of your name and used them to make some answers.

The first two answers will be based on your name, Nish.

We'll then have two with Anneka, two with Clara, and two with Al.

If you get one right on your name, you get double points.

Oh!

I know, right?! Anyone can buzz in on all of these.

So the first two are based on this name, which is Nish Kumar.

Here is your first question.

Fingers on buzzers, please.

Contained in the letters there, somewhere.

We've mixed them around a bit.

They're not in order or anything like that.

People at home I know will have got this.

-BUZZER Al Murray.

-Minsk.

Is it Minsk?

It is indeed. Very well done.

APPLAUSE

You missed out on double points there, Nish. Well played, Al.

Here is your second one based on Nish's name.

BUZZER

-That is Clara Amfo.

-Humans.

-NISH:

-Yeah.

Let's take a look.

Humans. Exactly right. Well done.

You wouldn't have thought you had "humans" in your name, would you?

-That is new information to me.

-That's exciting.

-It's good to know, right?

-It's really exciting.

You come here, you learn a little something.

OK, the next two questions are based on Anneka Rice.

The answers are in your name.

BUZZER

-Al Murray.

-Rankin.

-Rankin.

-Oh!

-Is that right?

It is indeed. Very well played.

-No-one's got double points yet. Come on, Anneka.

-I knew that.

I just, you know...

Here is your next question. The answer is in Anneka's name.

BUZZER

-Al.

-Niece.

-Do you know that, or are you just looking at the name?

-Both.

Very good. Let's take a look.

It is "niece". Very well done.

I was looking for "grandmother".

You were looking for "grandmother" in your name?

"Godfather."

-The next two questions are based on the name Clara Amfo.

-Right.

Double points up for stake, Clara, if you can get one of these.

No-one has got double points yet.

BUZZER

-Al Murray.

-Maraca.

Let's take a look.

-It is!

-Oh!

Even when he was saying it, you think,

"Al Murray, you've lost your mind.

"There's no way "maraca" is in that name."

-But it totally is.

-That's very impressive, isn't it?

Here's the next one.

BUZZER Al Murray.

Alamo.

Alamo. Surely it's the right answer.

It is indeed. Very well done.

So Al is killing this round.

-NISH:

-Uh-oh.

You've got to stop Al Murray, everybody.

-We've got to.

-Double points on these.

-Al, the next two, the answers are all in your name.

-Yeah.

Here's your first one.

BUZZER

-Nish Kumar.

-Oh!

-You literally just buzzed in so Al didn't.

-Yeah.

I'm going to say "Mural".

Is it Mural?

LAUGHTER

I thought it was Muriel.

Is it Mural?

INCORRECT BUZZER

BUZZER No. Clara Amfo.

Mary.

-Is it Mary?

-Oh, I don't know...

It is indeed. Well played. APPLAUSE

On reflection, Mary is more plausible than Mural.

OK, last chance for someone to get double points here. Al?

BUZZER Nish Kumar.

Oh, I do actually know this.

-INCORRECT BUZZER

-Mural.

BUZZER Al Murray.

It's the Murray River.

Surely we wouldn't be that obvious.

That would be crazy.

-INCORRECT BUZZER

-Oh!

It would be crazy.

-Oh, I know it!

-Al, what do you think it is?

-It's the Yarra.

-It's the Yarra.

-Oh, God, yeah!

-Let's take a look.

I can't believe that.

-It is the Yarra River. There is a Murray River in Australia.

-Yeah.

But not there, unfortunately.

It was the Yarra River. Very well played if you got that at home.

No double points for anybody there,

but some big points for Al Murray, I think.

-Shall we take a look at the scores?

-Let's have a look.

Three points for Anneka. Five points for Nish. Six points for Clara.

And in the lead, Al Murray with nine points.

APPLAUSE

You took such a one for the team there

by buzzing in immediately on both of Al Murray's answers

with literally no idea what the answers were.

OK, two rounds to go for somebody, please, to overhaul Al Murray.

Yeah, we've got to do it. Right. You're right.

Let's take a look at what our next round is going to be.

They don't know. I don't know. You don't know. But it is...

Now this is a game we play on our tablets.

I'm going to show you a series of photos, now.

I will then ask you a question.

All you need to do is put your finger on the person

or object you think is the answer.

One point for each one you get right.

Here's your first picture.

Let's see. What's the question?

Please put your finger

on the face of Bud Abbott.

It's annoying. I bet at home you were thinking,

"It's Abbott and Costello."

You've got to work out which is which.

So on your tablet,

if you just put your finger

on the face of Bud Abbott, please.

Has everybody locked in an answer?

-Yeah?

-Yep.

-Yep.

Let's take a look

at what Nish has gone for.

The one at the bottom.

Do you agree at home?

Anneka, do you agree?

Anneka, also gone at the bottom there.

Clara, are you breaking rank?

I'm breaking rank.

Clara has gone for the top there,

and Al Murray?

Same.

-You've gone top as well.

-Yeah.

-Oh!

I'm so annoyed I'm not sure.

The two comedians

have got different answers, as well.

Hopeless.

Abbott and Costello.

What do you think at home?

Which one is Bud Abbott?

The one at the bottom.

Well played, Nish and Anneka.

-Well done, Nish.

-Very well played. Lou Costello at the top.

Here's your next picture.

ALL GROAN

You know what?

You could say, "Put your finger on the plug,"

and I still wouldn't get it.

This is what we need you to put your finger on.

WHISPERING: Oh, Al looks confident.

This is one of these things my dad made sure I knew.

-Oh, really?

-This is exactly the sort of thing my dad tried to teach me

and I deliberately ignored.

See, he'll be sitting at home going, "I told you. I told you."

-Has everybody put their finger on the answer?

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

-Let's take a look.

-Or AN answer. Let's not say THE answer.

Nish, what have you gone for?

-I mean, good as anything, as far as I'm aware.

-Yeah.

It's certainly a screw. Anneka, where have you gone?

I've gone green.

So Anneka and Nish part company on that one.

We have parted, which is making me feel insecure.

Clara, let's see where you've gone.

I'm with Anneka.

-Clara and Anneka. And Al Murray, where has your dad gone?

-Blue.

-There we go.

-Oh...

I even have a way of remembering it, as well, which is it's blue,

neutral, like the UN, who are supposed to be neutral.

-NISH:

-I'd remember it as "blue-tral".

LAUGHTER

-AL:

-That works just as well.

-NISH:

-Blue-tral!

"Blue-tros Blue-tros-Ghali".

Combine the two.

A lot of the jeopardy of this answer has been taken away

-by Al Murray's dad.

-He'd love that.

-Let's take a look.

Congratulations, Mr Murray. Let's see if you're right.

What if he's wrong?

Absolutely right.

APPLAUSE

A point there for Al Murray's dad. A point there for Al and Nish.

Very well done, Nish. Here's your next one.

-AL:

-Oh, no.

-Here's the picture. It's five Strictly dancers there.

What do we need you

to put your finger on?

Did your dad teach you this one, Al?

Not a clue.

Does anyone have any

confidence here?

-NISH:

-Absolutely zero.

Nish, where have you gone?

I vaguely recognise that lady.

Natalie.

Yeah, and so on that basis,

I have selected it.

OK. Anneka, where have you gone?

I think I might have done

the same person.

You did indeed.

Both gone for Natalie.

Clara, who have you gone for?

I went for the lady who is

second in from the right. Yeah.

And Al, where have you gone?

Second left.

You've gone for Oti.

Let's see who has scored

a point on this one.

None of you have scored a point!

The answer was Joanne Clifton,

who was Ore Oduba's partner.

-Oh, yes!

-Very well done if you got that at home.

Shall we take a look at the scores at the end of that round,

as we go into our final round?

Anneka, four. Clara, six. Nish, seven points.

Three points out in the lead, Al Murray.

APPLAUSE

Final round. Al won yesterday.

He's already got a House Of Games dressing gown.

Yeah, he doesn't need a towel, does he?

He doesn't need one. He wants one.

LAUGHTER That's the difference sometimes, isn't it?

And sometimes in life you get what you want.

Sometimes you get what you need.

LAUGHTER

-Sometimes you get neither.

-Al, what prize did you have your eye on?

The driving gloves are profoundly tempting,

and especially as my dad got me one of those right, in a way

it would be great to get the driving gloves and give them to my father.

So if you were to win...

Yeah, but then the tankard's tempting.

The towel would go well with the dressing gown.

If you win the towel, it would really annoy Anneka.

Yeah.

LAUGHTER Three points in it.

Plenty of points to play for,

and as always, the final round is...

Now, in this one I will show you a picture from a category

and ask you a clue. You have to smash the two answers together.

So for example, if I showed you a picture of Anneka and a map

of the country whose capital is Reykjavik, your answer would be...

"Anneka Riceland."

-Exactly.

-Do it without the buzzer.

Couldn't be simpler than that.

Imagine if that was one of the questions and you didn't get it.

A point for every correct answer.

If you give me an incorrect answer, you lose a point, OK?

All to play for. Driving gloves up for grabs.

Towel still up for grabs.

We could see a spectacular final round where finally you find

the buzzer mojo.

-Do you think?

-Maybe. Could happen.

-I'm really excited.

-MOUTHS: I don't think so.

Let's take a look at our first category for Answer Smash.

So for each of these, I'm going to show you a picture of a kids'

TV presenter and give you a clue, and the answer's smashed together.

Here's your first one.

BUZZER

Clara.

-SLOWLY:

-Dick and Dom...ingo.

SLOWLY: Dick and Dom...ingo? Is that right?

It is indeed. Very well done.

-APPLAUSE

-Hey, well done!

Here's your next one.

BUZZER

-Clara Amfo.

-Floella Benjaminions.

-NISH:

-Ah!

-AL:

-Yes.

Let's take a look. Is it Floella Benjaminions?

It is indeed. Well done.

APPLAUSE

Some of these are a lot of fun to say,

and I have to say, Floella Benjaminions is one of them.

She might change her name now...

-That would be lovely, wouldn't it?

-..when she sees this.

OK, let's take a look at your next picture, and see your next clue.

-BUZZER AL:

-Oh!

-Nish Kumar.

-Tony Hartichoke.

Tony Hartichoke.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

It is indeed. Very well played.

Very well played. Let's see your next category.

The pictures will be sea creatures.

Smash them together with the clue you're going to see.

BUZZER

-That is Nish Kumar.

-Stingray Winstone.

Let's take a look. Stingray Winstone...

is the right answer. Very well played.

APPLAUSE

Here's your next one.

BUZZER Clara Amfo.

Octopussycat Dolls.

LAUGHTER Is that the right answer?

It is the Octopussycat Dolls. Very well done.

Here's your third one.

-BUZZER Nish?

-Shrimpulse buy.

LAUGHTER Yeah. Is that right?

It is a shrimpulse buy. Well played.

Well done if you got that at home. That's a tough one.

Let's take a look at your next category.

So the pictures will be famous Davids,

and there'll be a clue underneath them.

Smash the answers together, please.

BUZZER

-Al Murray.

-David Hasselhoffal.

LAUGHTER

Is that right?

Very well played.

-They are creeping up on you as well, Al.

-Yeah, they are.

An important point. David Hasselhoffal.

Here's your next one.

BUZZER

-Nish?

-A David Dickinsonnet.

A David Dickinsonnet. Is that right?

Absolutely right. David Dickinsonnet.

Nip and tuck now. This is great stuff. Here's your next one.

BUZZER

-Nish.

-David Lettermanila.

-AL:

-Yeah.

-David Lettermanila. Is he right? AL:

-Just too quick for me.

He is right. David Lettermanila.

KLAXON

That is the end of the show.

I genuinely don't know who's won this one.

-That was amazing stuff.

-Tense.

Great stuff from Clara and great stuff from Nish in that round.

Let's take a look at the scores.

It's Nish Kumar!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Nish Kumar. What a comeback,

in that final round.

Very well played.

Literally stealing a pair of driving gloves

from Al Murray's crying father.

Clara, I thought you were going to do it

at one point as well there with nine points.

-Yeah.

-Anneka, another good fourth place.

-Yeah, I was very happy.

Really very happy where I am.

You scored more points yesterday, but that's good.

It's Tuesday. Never good on a Tuesday.

Nish, what prize would you like to take home with you today?

Well, I'm 32 years old.

Everybody keeps telling me that I need to learn how to drive,

but what I've lacked is an incentive,

so now I've got I've got a pair of branded Richard Osman

House Of Games driving gloves. That is the push that I need.

Beautiful. Nish Kumar, everybody. Very well played.

APPLAUSE

Shall we take a look at where that leaves

our weekly leaderboard going into tomorrow?

-Clara, you're going to win one of these at some point.

-Oh, I will.

Anneka, we're going to get you trained on the buzzer,

cos it's the only thing stopping you winning.

We will look forward to that.

We will see you all back here tomorrow.

I will see you back here tomorrow too on House Of Games. Goodbye.

-That's how you drive, right?

-Yeah, yeah.