Episode 4 Richard Osman's House of Games

APPLAUSE

Hello, everybody. I'm Richard Osman, welcome back to House Of Games.

As you know, all week I'm joined by four famous faces

who are battling it out to win this extraordinary trophy right there.

They are Nish Kumar,

Anneka Rice,

Clara Amfo, and Mr Al Murray.

Welcome back, everybody. Been together three days.

-Nish, you've had two wins.

-Yeah.

Al, you've had one win. Clara, thus far, zero wins.

Anneka, also zero wins.

But the last show, suddenly you learned to use the buzzer.

Yeah! I had a bit of therapy in the dressing room and now I understand.

Are you absolutely bang up for it today?

Yeah, bang up for it - whatever that means, Richard, yeah.

-It means you're going to win.

-OK.

Let's take a look at the leaderboard.

Don't forget, at the end of each show there's also prizes.

Nish, yesterday you walked away with some House Of Games binoculars.

-Yeah.

-You've also got some House Of Games driving gloves.

Al, you have that House Of Games dressing gown from Monday.

Seems a long time ago, your last victory.

Let's take a look at what the prizes are today, shall we?

-ALL:

-Oh!

-What is that?

-What do you mean, "What is that"?

-Is that a teasmade?

It's not a teasmade, it's a House Of Games teasmade.

There's a thermos flask there, House Of Games coasters,

House Of Games football, and a House Of Games tote bag.

Anneka, when you win at the end of today's show,

what are you most tempted by?

-I still want the towel from Tuesday.

-You can't have the towel.

The moment's gone, Anneka.

Clara, how are you feeling? Still without a daily win.

I am feeling a type of way. I'm playing for it today.

That'd be nice. Al, you won on Monday, you were the big favourite,

you've been overhauled a little bit by Nish.

Today's the nitty gritty, the battle for the galaxy.

I hadn't thought of it in that way before

but you are absolutely right, it really is the battle for the galaxy.

This is the moment historians will look back at and say,

"That Thursday, Richard Osman's House Of Games is where

"the die was cast for Western civilisation."

Nish, you currently lead. Confident at holding on to that lead?

-If by confident you mean absolutely not confident, then yes.

-Excellent.

-Shall we play?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

OK, what are we starting with? Let's take a look.

This is a new one.

We've taken the title, in this case, of a film and changed one letter.

We've then provided a synopsis to this imaginary film we've created.

You have to tell us what you think the altered title is.

I know you don't understand that at home

but you will do after the very first one, I promise you.

-Nish, we're starting with you.

-OK.

-Shall we take a look at the first question?

-Let's do it.

-This is not

on the buzzers. What is the altered film title we're looking for here?

I believe this is Mad Max is the original film

and you've changed it to Sad Max.

Let's see.

Right answer. Very well done.

You see, it sounds complicated but it's not. Anneka.

I'm going to be stuck cos of my non-filmic life.

So, you're phobic of cinemas.

Yeah, I haven't been to the cinema since I was about nine.

And apparently I've got overempathy.

And whatever's happening in the film I get totally involved in it

that I'm hysterical. So, that meant nothing to me.

-You've heard of films, though?

-Heard of them.

-You don't have to go and see the film.

-Yeah, OK.

So, Anneka, this is yours.

Which imaginary film does this synopsis describe?

The Bards!

Is it The Bards?

It is. Very well done.

It was The Birds, we changed it to The Bards and that was the synopsis.

Clara, first question for this Thursday.

Which imaginary film is this a synopsis for?

Robocod!

Is that the right answer?

It is indeed.

Robocop, of course, the film. We changed it to Robocod.

Al, here is yours.

-Nightmare On Elf Street.

-Is it...?

It is indeed. Very well played.

Back to you, Nish. Which imaginary film is this the synopsis for?

-I think it's The Germinator.

-Is it...?

Very well done, yeah. Based on The Terminator from 1984.

Anneka, you get this.

Coldfinger.

Coldfinger...

is the correct answer. Very well played.

-Clara.

-Hello.

-Here's yours.

Aquaman.

No!

-No.

-Anybody else?

-Al?

-Gokzilla.

Oh!

Is the correct answer. Very well done.

Godzilla there with Gok Wan.

Al Murray, here's the last question in this round.

What imaginary film is this?

Silence Of The Lamps.

Is the correct answer. Very well played.

Very successful round there. Almost 100%.

Let's take a look at the scores.

Feeling worried yet, Nish?

-I'm tense already.

-Excellent. That's how we like it.

-Shall we play another round?

-Absolutely.

Let's see what we're going to play next. It is...

This time we are playing in pairs.

As always, the person in last place gets to choose who they're

playing with. The last three days in a row that's been Anneka.

-But it's not you this time. Clara...

-It's really painful to hear.

But only cos of Gokzilla.

-All right.

-Who would you like to pair up with in this round?

-I'm going to go with Nish.

-Anneka and Clara, if you change seats.

Let's pay Dim Sums.

In this round, you're going to need general knowledge

and basic arithmetic. I'll bring up a category for Dim Sum then

I'll explain how we're going to play it.

Anneka and Al, what category would you like to go for?

The Queen, I think.

OK, we're going to show you a sum.

What multiplied by what equals 32?

I'm now going to show you four options

to help you fill in that sum. You've got to choose the right two options.

Here are your four options.

OK.

-Anne's are Zara and Peter...

-Yeah.

-Charles' are William and Harry.

-Yeah.

-Edward's are thingybob and wotsit.

-Yeah.

-Andrew's are Eugenie and...

-And that's eight.

And the Queen's got four children.

4 x 8 = 32.

So what are we going to go for?

The number of children...

-Which you think is?

-We think is 4.

So you think the grandchildren is 8.

Let's see if you're right.

Absolutely right.

Absolutely right. Very well done.

Clara, Nish, which of those would you like to go for?

I'm thinking...Mercury?

What do you think that is?

-Might be facts about Mercury.

-Could be facts about Queen.

Wow, how does your brain work, Nish?

-All right, let's go for Mercury.

-Let's do it.

-Why are you going for Mercury?

-I just like the sound of it.

Well, your sum on the category

of Mercury is this.

What minus what equals ten?

Here are your four options.

Can you fill in that sum

with two of these, please?

-See, I told you.

-Yeah.

The last two digits of the year

the film Mercury Rising was released.

-In the video, he looked like he was about...28?

-Yeah.

What about Mercury Rising?

I feel like that was sort of in the

early '00s. I think at the latest

-it's 2010.

-I reckon it's the year

-Mercury Rising was released...

-Yeah.

..minus Mercury's melting point.

Do you think it'd be the other way?

Cos the last two digits of

-Mercury Rising...at most are going to be...

-Ten...

-Eight or ten.

Let's go for melting point

minus Mercury's orbit equals ten.

OK. Mercury's melting point in Celsius minus Mercury's

orbit around the sun in days

equals ten. Let's fill in the sums.

-Oh!

-Oh!

This would be have to be -49

to be 10.

Oh... I know what it is now.

Al, you have an idea?

Yeah. I think it's Mercury Rising

minus Mercury's orbit.

I think Mercury Rising

was late '90s.

When was Mercury Rising released?

You would have been right.

Oh...

-Look how close you were on Freddie Mercury's age, though.

-Yeah.

He's 29. Unlucky. Nothing there.

Before we look at the scores, if you could just swap back seats, please.

Thank you so much. Let's see how that has affected today's scores.

Anneka, you did say you were going to win today.

I've learnt my snack level. I'm fine.

-Shall we have a look at our third round today?

-Yeah.

-Let's play...

In this round, you'll see three clues which will reveal

letter by letter, from Z backwards to A.

You have to work out what the clues are and simply buzz in

when you can tell us what connects them, please.

One point for each answer. Here are your first three.

What connects these three words? Fingers on buzzers, please.

The letters will turn up one by one

as the alphabet...

BUZZER That is Clara.

-Teeth.

-Are they teeth?

Let's fill in the rest of them.

Well played.

Well done.

Sounded so complicated, this round.

-It really did.

-It's actually kind of simple, right?

-Yeah.

Well played, Clara. Here are your next three clues.

What connects these three words?

BUZZER That is Clara.

-Birds.

-Yeah.

It is not birds, I'm afraid.

Let's continue.

Clara frozen out.

BUZZER Nish.

Golf.

Golf scores is the correct answer.

That was hard, I have to say.

-Bad luck.

-Gotta be all three.

-That's unlucky.

-That's tough.

What's the connection between these three words?

BUZZER Al.

-Too late, I'm afraid. You're frozen out.

-No.

Carry on.

BUZZER Anneka.

-Too late as well...

-Universities.

-It's not universities.

You're frozen out.

Just Nish and Clara. Here we go.

BUZZER

-Nish.

-Shoes.

-They are shoes.

Turns out in that round we might as well have written Oxford,

brogue and clog and just said, "Buzz in."

Three more words. What connects these?

BUZZER

-Al.

-National parks.

Is it national parks?

Well played, Al. This is a tense one.

The first one we've seen all four just leaning forward.

Here are your next three.

Good lord.

BUZZER Clara.

In The Midnight Garden.

Is that right?

-No!

-Not, I'm afraid.

You're frozen out.

Anyone?

BUZZER

-Al.

-In The Night Garden.

-Is that right?

Oh, come on!

What did you say?

In The Midnight Garden.

Which is technically...a garden.

Which I feel deserves at least half a point.

I'm going to give you both a point for that, I think.

-Thank you.

-I had to give other people a chance.

I wouldn't have got that if you hadn't...got me there. Thanks.

-It's all right.

-Here is your next one. What connects these words?

If anyone buzzes in now it'd be amazing.

BUZZER

Al.

Famous train services.

I would say that is absolutely correct.

Well played, Al.

-Yes.

-What connects these three?

BUZZER

Clara.

Types of sausage.

You are absolutely right.

Very well done.

Here's your last one in this round.

What connects these three clues?

What's that?

BUZZER

That is Nish.

Is it...like, rappers?

I can't give you rappers,

I'm afraid.

Frozen out.

I think it's possible Clara knows.

-BUZZER

-Oh, come on!

-Al...

-That is a point off Al.

-Oh, no!

That is absolutely outrageous gamesmanship.

They are three DJs.

Is the right answer. Very well done.

That was indeed famous DJs.

I appreciate your competiveness, Al, but there are rules to this.

I was just banging the thing to see if it would go off.

That is the end of that round.

Let's take a look at what that has done to the scores.

That is super-close. Two rounds to go.

Let's see what we're playing next.

I need you all to take your tablets out, please.

I'm going to ask you a question.

There's lots of right answers, write one down.

Your answer must be correct but it also must be unique.

You will not get a point if you write down the same as anyone else.

Also, I have a tablet of my own for this round.

I'll be writing down an answer as well

and if you match my answer you'll lose a point.

-Let's take a look at the first category.

-Blimey.

-CLARA:

-Oh, great.

So you need to give a correct answer

but also not an answer that anyone else will give.

Anyone in Premier League history. That started in...early '90s.

So, any person who scored 100 goals or more in the Premier League.

You have to get a right answer and one that nobody else said.

Nish, what have you gone for?

I've taken a big, big.... I think a risk here.

I've gone Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink.

Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink, says Nish.

Is that a correct answer?

It is a correct answer. Very well played.

I'm sort of suspecting that Anneka won't have

gone for Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink.

I'm really blushing as I do this.

-Rio Ferdinand.

-Does he play football?

-He does play football

but he's a defender.

Is that a right answer?

It's not, I'm afraid. Clara.

I said Paul Ince.

Paul Ince. Is that right?

INCORRECT BUZZER

What's his position?

-Midfield.

-Right.

-Al, what have you gone for?

I put Alan Shearer then I thought that's too obvious

so I changed it to Dennis Bergkamp.

Dennis Bergkamp. Is that a correct answer?

-It's not. You should have kept with Alan Shearer.

-I know.

Well, you shouldn't have, cos I said Alan Shearer as well,

-so you wouldn't have got a point anyway.

-Too obvious.

-There you go.

The only person to score a point - Nish. Very well played.

Well done.

Lots of other correct answers there, so well done at home if you said...

Oh, did I not say Les?

Uh, no, you didn't.

Very well done if you said any of those and you said a unique one.

Here's your next category.

Anyone who's had a solo UK Christmas number one since 1990, please.

If you've got one at home, let's see if it's right, let's see

if any of our contestants have said the same thing.

-Anneka, what have you gone for?

-Gone for Cliff.

Cliff Richard, since 1990...

Is that right?

Correct. Very, very well done.

-Clara, what've you gone for?

-I've gone for Alexandra Burke.

Who won The X Factor.

Christmas number one with Hallelujah, possibly?

Is that a correct answer?

It is indeed. Very well done.

-Al.

-Similar line of thinking. Shayne Ward with That's My Goal.

Another X Factor winner but was it Christmas number one?

Is that a correct answer?

It is a correct answer, very well played.

And very obscure as well, if I may say so.

Nish, have you got a correct answer?

-Have you said the same as any of our others here?

-I've gone for...

Gary Jules.

Who did Mad World. Is that a correct answer?

No, it was Gary Jules and Michael Andrews did Mad World.

So no points for Nish.

A point each for all of our other contestants, though.

Unless, of course, I've written the same as one of you.

Oh, no.

And I have written - spelled correctly - Shayne Ward.

-So sorry. I thought that's so obscure...

-Same here.

Sorry at home if you said Shayne Ward as well.

Very well played. Points there to Clara and Anneka.

-Amazing.

-Let's take a look at some other possible answers you could

have had, so if you said any of these that haven't been mentioned

you'd have scored a point.

Oh, Whitney!

Lot of X Factor winners there...

Very well done if you said any of those. Here's your next category.

It's difficult.

So you gotta get a correct answer, it's gotta be unique.

European capital cities less than 500 miles away from London.

-This is difficult, isn't it?

-It is difficult.

-Everybody written one?

-Yeah.

OK, we're going to start with Clara.

-OK.

-So European capital city...

What have you gone for?

Madrid?

Is that within 500 miles of London?

It's not, I'm afraid.

It's a capital city but not within 500 miles of London. Al?

Luxembourg.

It's Luxembourg City but I would give you Luxembourg

but is it within 500 miles of London?

It is indeed. Very well played.

-That's a good answer.

-That's a good answer.

Oh, you've got the look of a man who's also written Luxembourg.

No, I've got the look of a man who's written Lisbon.

-Is that within 500 miles?

-I don't think so.

Oh, that's the wrong answer. Anneka.

You should all have just written Paris.

-What have you written?

-Copenhagen.

-Surely that's within 500 miles.

-It's not.

-Oh.

-Al, you're the only person with a point in that round.

Hopefully, unless you've done it again.

-I wrote Brussels.

-Yes!

-Well played, Al. A point for Al. Very well done.

-Yes!

Here are the correct answers you could have gone with.

Those were the only correct answers.

Very well done if you said one of those. That's the end of that round.

Well played, everybody. Let's see what that's done to the scores.

It was very close beforehand, how's it looking now?

Still very close.

-Just one round to go. Shall we play our final round?

-Let's do it.

As always, it is...

As always, there are two answers to each question

and they smash into each other.

So, for example, if I showed you a picture of Clara's face

and asked you for a flat oven-baked Italian bread,

-you would say Clara Amfocaccia.

-Clara Amfocaccia.

Absolutely right. Good luck to all of you. Here's your first category.

The pictures will be mythical creatures and there'll be

a clue underneath them, you smash the answers together.

A point for a correct answer and you lose a point if you give us an

incorrect answer - and you are all within three points of each other.

Good luck.

-That's Nish.

-Unicornish pasty.

LAUGHTER

Is it Unicornish pasty?

It is. Very, very well done.

Here is your next one.

-Nish.

-Werewolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

Is that right?

Of course it's right.

Goodness me, you're good at these. Here's your next one.

Clara.

Adrian the mermaid...

It isn't Adrian the mermaid.

You are frozen out. Anybody else?

-Al.

-Mermadrian...

Mermaidan...

LAUGHTER

Not Mermadrian anything, I'm afraid.

Nish or Anneka, do you want a go?

I know the answer now.

At home, anybody? They're all shouting out. It is...

Maermaidan Turner.

Al and Clara lost a point.

Here's your next category.

See the pictures then see the clues and smash them together, please.

Clara.

Brian Maypole.

It is. Very well done.

Here's your next one.

Clara.

You gotta answer immediately, I'm afraid.

-Kurt...

-No, you are locked out.

-Kurt Cobaintree!

-You are locked out.

-Al.

-Kurt Cobaintree.

Come on!

It was and Al was the quickest on

the buzzer to give the answer.

I had got that as well. As well as you getting it.

You cannot buzz in too early. I know your game.

You mustn't do it. But it is Kurt Cobaintree. Here's your next one.

Slashley Cole.

LAUGHTER

It is Slashley Cole. Well done.

Let's take a look at your next category.

What are the toppings, what's the answer? Smash them together.

Fiorentina Fey.

Is the correct answer.

Very well done.

TIME UP KLAXON

That is the end of the round. Who has won Thursday's House of Games?

Let's take a look at the final scores. Our winner is...

Nish has won again!

Three days in a row!

Clara, if you hadn't lost those points you would have won

the round easily.

Nish, I don't know how you won that.

It was Werewolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

-That was very good.

-Not endlessly buzzing in and giving wrong answers.

Very well played, Nish. As if we have to ask,

-what prize are you going to go for?

-I want the teasmade.

Very well played.

Well, we've had four days now of House Of Games.

Tomorrow is the final show of the week where we discover our champion.

Shall we take a look at the leaderboard

-leading into our last day?

-Yeah.

Tomorrow's double points Friday.

That trophy could be anybody's, still. Apart from Anneka.

-Respectfully.

-I am the most consistent player here.

-You are.

I mean, you really are, I'll give you that.

-So even. Calm...

-It's all to play for tomorrow.

Someone's going to become the champion of the week.

I will see all of you tomorrow.

I will see all you tomorrow, too, on the House Of Games.

APPLAUSE

I am absolutely delighted with that.