Puppet Up! The Apprentice USA

Previously on The Celebrity Apprentice,

after boardroom fireworks between Aubrey O'Day and Arsenio Hall...

She can't say anything that is not selfish.

..Arsenio tried to make amends.

No desire to hurt you.

After the extent that Arsenio Hall went to to trash my name,

do I really like him? No.

Tasked with producing a commercial for Entertainment.com,

the celebrities tested their skills behind the camera.

Action.

Lisa Lampanelli gave grudging respect to project manager

Dayana Mendoza...

-LISA:

-Don't you think they're cute?

-So cute.

I think Dayana is less annoying when she is in charge.

..and shifted her frustration on to Lou Ferrigno.

-Two of these, four by seven.

-No, two of these...

'I get it, you are strong.'

What else have you got, dude?

While on Team Unanimous, Clay and Arsenio's bond grew stronger.

-Oh,

-BLEEP!

-I got my

-BLEEP

-stuck.

Arsenio and I have become very good friends.

'We just really worked well together.'

The next day, the teams screened their commercials for the executive.

-AUBREY:

-'We can do it any time, anyway, anywhere.'

ZIPPER UNZIPS

'If you are not doing anything, I was thinking maybe we could...'

'I would love to.'

In the boardroom, Lou's temper flared...

Lisa is lucky not to be a man tonight

because I would throw her right through that wall.

..and Ivanka called out Aubrey.

You are very polarising in a certain way and I think that is the

type of thing that really alienates the rest of your team.

When the results were announced, Team Unanimous took the win...

Teresa, they liked yours more.

Oh.

..leaving Dayana and Lisa united against Lou.

He was never speaking up we were brainstorming,

-he was just not creating.

-I would fire Lou.

And Mr Trump agreed.

Everybody on your team has said, you really didn't work.

Lou, you are fired.

Their boardroom is taking long.

-You think?

-You kidding me? Lisa is chewing him up.

Lou will punch her right in the face.

No, he won't. No, he won't.

-He will throw her through the wall.

-No, he won't.

-Woo!

-Wow.

-That means... Yes.

-We did it.

-Good riddance.

-"We did it"?

You act like you've had some accomplishment of some kind.

-Well, we did.

-Yeah, but he's still a person.

-Oh, Clay, you know what?

-The little tactics you've been pulling this whole

-BLEEP

-time.

-Don't even start with me.

-Oh, God. You are right.

I won't start with you.

Great. I would keep it shut.

-'Clay made one of his

-BLEEP

-comments'

and Lisa snapped on him.

'And I love it because I can't stand Clay. She is the first person'

here that's been able to shut Clay Aiken up.

-So, Lou really wanted to be in this one?

-No.

Well, he never once mentioned it to us.

He never once brought up to me anything about him

being offended at language, anything like that.

And he goes at it just joking around, but then in there,

suddenly, he is Sally Sensitive with...

-SOUTHERN AMERICAN ACCENT:

-"Oh, I've never heard a curse word

"in my life, Miss...Miss Daisy."

'When it comes to Lisa's attitude, I'm not sure if it's'

a result of having to go through so many losses

or if so many losses are a result

'of Lisa's attitude not being so great.'

Maybe tomorrow, he will, like, let us have one of you guys.

Oh, yeah. We are three now.

-An unbalanced number now.

-Because now it's three and five.

'I'm hoping we switch it up and I'm really hoping'

that Clay and Arsenio

get put on different teams because

they have a relationship.

'Lord knows that Mr Trump split Lisa and I up. So, why not'

split the two of them up and see how they hang without each other?

# Money, money, money, money

# Money!

# Money, money, money, money

# Money!

# Some people got to have it

# Ye-ah

# Some people really need it

# Hey, listen to me, y'all

# Do things, do things, do things

# Bad things with it

# Dollar bills, y'all Come on

# That mean, oh, mean

# Mean green

# Almighty dollar

# You know that money...

# Give me a nickel Brother, can you spare a dime?

# Money can drive some people out of their minds

# For the love of money

# No good, no good

# Money!

# Money, money, money, money

# Money! #

-BOTH:

-Hi!

-How are you?

-Good to see you.

I won my task and the charity I'm playing for is NephCure Foundation.

'NephCure is a charity that funds research

'and educational programmes for incurable kidney disease.'

Today, I'm meeting a very special little boy that I'm fighting for.

His name is Matthew. How are you feeling? Good?

Well, it's very hard. I get a lot of blood tests.

I take a lot of pills. Sometimes it's hard to sleep.

You know, you are a brave little boy for what you are doing

and just be strong for Mummy and Daddy.

I'm a mum of four

and I couldn't imagine anything happening to one of my daughters.

'Just imagining any child taking 15 pills a day,

'it just breaks your heart.'

I've been doing Celebrity Apprentice

and I have been working really hard and guess for who.

For you. Yeah.

-And guess what.

-What?

-I won.

-And you want to open it?

-Yeah, I do.

Take a look in there and see what that says.

Wow! That's 60,000 made out to the NephCure Foundation.

'My son Matthew has a very rare kidney disease'

called FSGS.

FSGS has no cure. FSGS destroys

'the body from the inside out.

'And we're very lucky to have Teresa on our team.

'Because this reality,

'this miracle in finding a cure is now a true possibility.'

Thank you for helping me save my kidneys.

You're welcome.

Good morning. How are you?

-Good morning. ALL:

-Morning, sir.

We are standing in one of the great, great toy stores of the world.

The legendary FAO Schwarz.

FAO Schwarz is celebrating its 150th anniversary this year.

I used to come here when I was very little with my father.

Great store.

Now, we all hear that puppets are for kids,

but today, we are going to be thinking about puppets for adults.

Standing next to me is Brian Henson, the son of a real legend

and a great guy, who I met, Jim Henson.

A wonderful family, he is a wonderful man

and he has got the same imagination.

Brian, tell them about the task.

We perform a show called Stuffed And Unstrung, which is

a live improv puppet show that is for adults.

So, your task this week is going to be

that you have to build two original Miskreant Puppet characters,

working with our builders at the Jim Henson's Creature Shop.

And then you will have to perform those puppets in front of a live

audience, working with cast members from Stuffed And Unstrung.

OK. My boardroom advisers will be Ivanka and Eric Trump.

Good advisers. I really like them a lot, all right?

Now, this task requires four people on each team.

Now, your team, Lisa, is smaller, their team is larger.

You know what that means.

We're going to put somebody onto your team.

Who would you like... Dayana, who would you like of this team

to be on your team?

-Clay.

-Who'd you like, Lisa?

-Aubrey.

-Good.

-Who'd you like, Penn?

-Um...

Clay or Paul or Arsenio or Aubrey...

LAUGHTER

Well, I had already made a decision.

I was just curious as to who you'd like. Clay, go.

'We get Clay. I'm like,'

-"He is a

-BLEEP

-sometimes."

'OK, let's see.'

Let's see if our little tiff from the other day is a problem.

How do you feel about this, Clay?

I... Listen, these three folks are very strong.

And so, I think we're going to do a great job.

You have four great people. All right?

Eric, how will they be judged?

Tomorrow, Brian and Patrick Bristow, co-creator

and director of Stuffed And Unstrung,

will judge your live performance

and judge you on the following criteria -

puppet design, the overall quality of your puppeteering

and improv and your total live performance.

All right. Pick a project manager. Go ahead.

I'd like to do it. Yeah.

-Do you mind if...

-I don't care. I don't care.

Lisa, who's your project manager?

-I am, sir.

-Oh, Lisa.

-Yeah.

'It's really important that I step up for this one'

because I am one of the only people who hasn't won a task

'and gotten money for their charity. And I'm like, "Well, I'm going to'

-"have to start writing checks if this

-BLEEP

-doesn't stop."

-Go ahead.

-Senior.

-Paul.

You're not a big puppeteer, I know that.

-I'm going to be.

-LAUGHTER

'I just took it on the fly because nobody else

'really wanted to take it.'

It's not my thing at all, you know,

'but it's kind of improv,

'which in essence, you're not supposed to know what you're doing.'

So, Paul, you and Lisa are project managers.

The project manager of the winning team

receives 20,000 for his or her charity.

The losing team, somebody will be fired.

Good luck. Do well. Thank you.

LISA: Are you good with improv? Are you quick on your feet?

I'm quick for the most part. I do know how to puppet, though.

-Hand puppet, I did in church for years.

-Really? Really?

Everybody who does puppets did them in church.

'I think that when I was on Unanimous, I had built'

a pretty good relationship with Arsenio

and he and I work well together.

'I'm still new to Team Forte.

'I don't know how people operate and hopefully, we will all get along.'

Lisa, I want to tell you. I've done improv for a year and a half.

I know, but I've done it for 22 years.

I've done improv, too, maybe not as much as you guys, of course, but...

I'm not saying that you haven't cos I'm... I mean...

-I know, I know.

-But sorry, one second.

But my idea with it was also that we could do one character,

which is the Latina, and I can do it.

No, no, I know. I know.

Let's just get a bunch of ideas together and see what's the best.

It's kind of insulting that Dayana kind of presumes

that she can do what we can do.

'My concerns are that Dayana will bitch and moan'

and I'll get in a big fight with her.

Fingers crossed, it won't happen.

We just may have a whole task without fighting.

-Why don't we do that?

-I'm all in favour of that.

I say a task, too, without fighting here or in the boardroom

-cos you weren't able to pull that off.

-Nobody can ever pull that off.

Like, the worst thing you could do is make a green frog

-when it comes to originality.

-Right, right.

-So, it has to be something...

-Different.

-Far and above.

-Yeah.

What about one that looks like you and one that looks like you?

Like, with a long gown.

You have the puppet-type look.

Yeah, with the red hair. And you being...

-..make you black and her white and...

-Yeah...

-We get it, Teresa.

-Jungle fever.

-"You know, like, you black..."

-LAUGHTER

"You know, and she white, you know?"

You're getting real creative up in here(!) Yeah, yeah.

The whole jungle fever.

'We've lost Clay and nobody in this group minus maybe Arsenio Hall

'has experience being comedic performers'

and I'm not even allowed to step up and take over

because everyone else is just going

-to look at me like I'm a

-BLEEP

-again.

What's probably going to happen is we have to stay true

to our character and then we're going to have the audience

give us the location and problem that we have to get through.

So, I have to start thinking about the smartest way to

remain in this competition because my end goal is to be standing

here at the end. And I won't be here at the end

if I'm not a team player because that's really the only

criticism anyone's had of me up to this point.

Open Sesame.

-Oh, look how cute.

-Oh, my gosh!

Look at her. See?

The task this week is to create two original puppets...

You think this one looks like Lisa? "Hi, Arsenio."

'..and to perform with Henson's'

Alternative improvisational group.

-Look at this one.

-You would get tired with that, wouldn't you?

He is like Lou.

-AS LOU:

-"I can understand why Lisa doesn't like me."

WHISPERS: Back's killing me.

'My back went out this morning for some reason or other.'

I didn't really do anything,

but that happens occasionally.

-I just hope my back is better.

-Oh, yeah.

-What happened to your back?

It just goes out, you know?

For no reason at all, sometimes.

'I'm clearly worried about this. I am the project manager'

and it's probably not good timing.

Paul, I'm going to pull up the website

for the Stuffed And Unstrung.

ON LAPTOP: 'So, these bunnies are bad bunnies.

'They're bad to the bone. What are the bad bunnies doing today

-'that is so terribly bad?

-Home-ec class.

'Home-ec class?

'Hey, in the lollipop mix, instead of sugar, I put in salt.

'That's evil.'

So, these are audience members, he's the host and he is having

the two actors here and that's what you see on the screen.

You can either have Teresa be one of the actors

or Teresa be the host.

'Aubrey and I have locked horns before, but today, I wish'

I could make a trophy and give it to Aubrey. She's come...so far.

I know that I cannot be a puppet.

I'll be like, "Duh..."

'She allowed Paul to be the leader.'

When she was needed, she stepped in and added.

-Well, listen, Arsenio.

-OK.

-We need a sharp comedic mind

-that can really...

-With the puppet?

-..get the jokes going...

-OK.

-..in the improvisation.

-OK.

The host is also important because that's the one who's leading us

through, so it's like... Cos you and I know improv the best

out of everyone here. So, we have to utilize where we would both best be.

'Everybody knows she is incredibly smart

'and incredibly creative and she's become'

a really great TEAM player.

And that's all I ever wanted from her.

-I...I...

-I think we need you with that mic.

-Yeah.

-So, you're the puppet.

-Mm-hm.

She's the puppet.

OK, she's the host and I'll just coordinate everything,

make sure everything is cool.

So, we'll be all right.

-I just want everybody to know that I took this job unknowingly...

-Yeah.

..without a clue. And I'm fine with that, you know what I mean?

If... You know, I depend on you guys.

I want to make sure that I feel comfortable with everything,

-but I need a lot of feedback.

-Right.

-We'll get there.

-Hi, guys. ALL:

-Hi.

-Hey, how are you guys?

-How are you, sir? Good to see you, man.

-So good to see you again.

Brian Henson and Patrick come in to our war room and they start

to inform us on the task,

the world of puppets and the Henson way.

Can we...kind of direct the audience to...

Like, if we rehearse certain things to try and bring them into that?

Safety is not something that is good in improv.

Risk and being on the edge and trusting

that you can fly by the seat of your pants and find something,

that's a way to approach it.

Just find that place in you

where you're not scared of looking ridiculous...

'They said that the funniest things are'

when you don't know...what you're even talking about

and it just comes out of your mouth. So, I was like, "Oh, I like that."

When you start talking without knowing what you're going to say, you are in the zone.

The improv zone.

Have you found that creating broader characters

and puppets is better than creating very specific puppets?

Cos they all seem, other than this rocker type of ape,

they're all pretty general.

You might want to make the characters general

because they have to have radically different personalities.

'Brian and Patrick gave us the direction'

that broader characters would play a lot more roles

and that those would be probably a little bit easier to use.

You know, we want to tend towards more, obviously,

not squeaky clean, but we don't want to offend anybody

to go too blue. So, do you think that...?

If you could take a choice where you're indicating a naughty

thought, but you're not actually saying it,

that's a classier choice and yet this is an adult show, so it's...

A fine line there.

I'm not that worried about being inappropriate because

I know what inappropriate is.

'I do inappropriate for a living, so I know the line'

that these people want.

How do you adjust for...

wildly different heights on your puppeteers?

That's a hard one cos you... How tall are you?

-6'7".

-6'7"!

Usually come with a puppeteers average out at about 5'11".

Maybe, we'll have to put me into a host.

'We have Sasquatch on our team with tonnes of talent'

and he can't use it with a puppet.

Cool. Thank you very much.

'But I've seen his show in Vegas

'and he totally talks to the audience,'

he is a great host.

-DAYANA:

-Have you decided already who you want to be puppeteering?

Yeah, I think we're going to have to do it me and him.

You're going to have to do host cos you're way too tall.

And you'd like me to be...?

'Dayana wants to be a part of the performance,

'but it's not a chance I'm going to take. Are you kidding me?'

'I've been doing comedy for over 21, 22 years.

'Penn's been doing it for the last 75'

and Dayana is not easily understood.

And that's a shame, but I'm sorry.

'It's not about always being in front of the camera.'

You should start with which voices you feel you can do.

Like, what voices you feel you could do?

I want hear your Spanish chick. I want to hear it.

EXAGGERATED ACCENT: Ay, papi. Ay, papi. Ay, Chihuahua.

-That's Puerto Rican.

-It has to be very generic.

You know, this is not really how Latin people talk,

but she does play with her pearls.

'It's disrespectful. It's unprofessional,

'but I just sat there waiting for my task.'

That never came.

So far, I don't have any specific task

and I'd like to be involved and I just don't want to be sitting...

'But you're the project manager, so I'll just do my job.'

Just tell me that you don't want to give me anything.

Puppet design is a big deal.

I really wanted to participate.

Participating, as we learned in the first task, isn't

always about being on stage.

'Lisa is not giving me anything, so she can go to'

the boardroom and say, "Oh, she's useless.

"She has no ideas. She doesn't know anything.

-FAUX CRIES:

-"Mr Trump..."

-FAUX CRIES:

-"I do everything."

'Whatever.'

-How you doing? Teresa.

-Hi, guys.

-Aubrey.

-Hi, nice to meet you.

We headed down to the workshop

where you actually learn

how to make puppets.

You want to dive in and take a look at the stuff we have

just to get inspired?

'So, we've got two puppets.

'One large, yellow hand puppet. One smaller, periwinkle-coloured'

rod puppet.

'It's just the shell of a puppet. No eyes, no mouth,'

no genitalia. Nothing.

You guys, you could even do like a mohawk or anything.

You can literally, like, you can pick this out, cut it.

Oh, yeah, that's an interesting... A bright colour mohawk.

'The mohawk inspired Arsenio'

and you know, I could totally see why he is bald.

Oh, that would be a cute mo, so let's keep that.

Let's lock in on that. OK. Orange mohawk.

'I think having puppets that you love'

is really important because you are going to be,

actually, playing the puppeteer with your puppet.

'So, designing my puppet is, you know, a reflection of me.'

I could give her boobs and make it a low-cut dress.

That... I...

Boobs on a puppet? Everything is better with boobs.

-Let's find the colour of the dress.

-OK.

-Leave yourself...

-A little...

-a little on the side.

-For the sewing.

Yes, exactly.

-My grandma taught me.

-See, you already know.

-PENN:

-'Dayana and I are making puppets.

'The rod puppet was done almost entirely by Day with some

'help from Lisa'

and the live hand puppet was done mostly by me

with some help from Clay.

-How does he look to you?

-I don't like the hair.

You don't like the hair? He's got a soul patch.

-Is he like a punk rocker?

-A little bit, yeah.

No.

'We need to make the broadest puppets.

'The ones that could be any type of voice'

just in case whatever happens during the show.

Dayana, what I'm going to do is start working with Clay

-and the instructors on that stuff...

-Go, yes.

-So, can you make her pretty and expressive and gorgeous?

-Yes.

I give the orders about how my puppet should look,

-'so I'll let Dayana cut out the clothes and paste

-BLEEP

-on.'

That's something that could be ocupado, por favor.

He is cool.

So, what's your guy's name? Perry?

-I was calling him Perry Winkle.

-Is that a rocker type name?

-It's a colour. It's his colour.

-I've got to name mine, too.

Paul, what do you want to name her?

You.

Goldilocks? No, we have Goldilocks. Um...

-What should we name mine?

-What's the personality of your girl?

Fabulous, over-the-top, glamorous.

'It seemed to me like Teresa took a long time to figure out'

the name for her puppet.

Like, I like Beyonce. Like, that's a different name. Rihanna.

That's a different name. We have to come up with a different name.

'It was kind of like you wanted to shake her little bit and say,'

"OK, it is just a puppet. Give it a name."

-See...

-Until you come up with another name,

I'm going to call this girl Fabulina, OK?

-SHE GASPS

-Fabalina.

'I wanted the perfect name for my puppet

'and one of my cookbooks is Fabulicious.'

Matter of fact, my third book

Fabulicious! - Fast and Fit comes out in May.

-I like Fabalina.

-Fa-ba-li-na?

Yeah. Thank you, honey.

All right so, help me, guys.

-Do you like this?

-Yeah.

-OK, so this is the dress?

-Yes.

-Don't let it go too crazy, Aubrey.

'Basically, Teresa was inspired by everything tacky'

on the table.

If that's what you feel, Teresa,

you're the one that has to use her and love her, you know?

'Paul is our project manager,'

but he is having an extra lazy attitude towards

'where we want to go with these puppets

'that Arsenio and Teresa are playing.'

-Do you like that, Paul?

-Awesome.

'And I'm looking at our rocker and her hot mess, crazy Jersey lady

'and they are not versatile.'

-I love it! Do you like it?

-I do.

'But it's hard when you have been told,'

"Simmer down and mind your place

"and let other people do their jobs."

-Do like that?

-Yeah.

'So, I'm nervous to voice any dissent because

'I saw how my team attacked me in the last boardroom.'

It's so fabulous.

-I'm Clay.

-I know. Nice to meet you, Clay.

-What is your name?

-Leslie.

Hey, Leslie.

'The puppeteers and the improv folks show up to teach us

'a little bit about some'

of the basics of improv.

Improvisation is just everyday life with fake circumstances.

Just think of it that way. It's not coming up with great ideas,

it's not being a genius or having a quick line.

It's just reacting to what fake circumstances you're given.

'So, we figured out improvising'

and then from that point, we started learning some of the basics

of puppeteering, using generic puppets.

Go ahead and bring your puppet up.

Just try to look directly at the camera.

Directly, so both eyes look like they're looking right down

the barrel of the lens.

'So, it takes a lot of practice just getting those puppets facing

'the right direction.'

Now, we are going to try looking over to our right.

And then over to our left. And then try to go right back to camera.

'Lisa and I have a nice rhythm going.'

-Can you push forward, too?

-Yeah.

That's exactly, exactly it.

-Push forward just a little bit...

-Church.

-Church.

-Church.

Church puppeteer.

Lisa, I know can be very feisty.

'She has a lot of piss and vinegar in her,

'but I don't really necessarily worry about it being directed at me

'and I think we work together really well.'

There you go. That's cute.

HE BELCHES LAUGHTER

Guys, after we are done doing this for a little bit longer,

-you guys still have to learn how to work the puppets.

-Mm-hm.

I mean, that's going to take a minute.

Understanding improv, especially since you haven't done it,

you're going to want to really, you know?

'We are sitting here wasting time creating these puppets.

'It's really a job that should be delegated to one person,

'but instead of doing that, Paul is sitting back,

'wasting all kinds of time.

'And at this point, we really need to move'

toward working with our actual professionals

and learning how to manipulate and manoeuvre the puppets. As well

as me being able to work with the coach on how to be a great host.

Hey, Paul, at some point, we are talking about that meeting...

-Aubrey?

-Yeah.

-When do you want to do that?

-Soon.

'I'm kind of letting Arsenio mould him

'because he tends to respect and listen to Arsenio more.'

Right?

-All?

-Yeah.

You know me.

'I mean, we are circling the drain right now.'

Our project manager is not stepping up and taking control of this team.

ALL GREET

Nice to meet you.

'We get back to the war room and our puppeteers, basically, have been

'sitting around waiting for us'

and I'm trying to get everyone to jump right into and start working.

I'm going to be doing the puppetry technique,

Colleen is going to take you through improv.

-So, which one of you is hosting?

-I am.

-OK. What I can do is while you

-three are learning the puppeteers.

-Give me the rundown.

-I can teach you

-the rundown on the hosting stuff.

-Got it.

-Do you want to do that?

So, every time you say a syllable of the word, you open the mouth.

Every time you say...

Every time you say a syllable of the mouth... Wait.

'I did feel a little overwhelmed at first and nervous because'

there was a lot to learn.

You know, like, when you are talking with the puppet, you know?

Now I learned just to go like this.

Four, five, six, seven...

Good, so seven has two syllables.

So, for seven, you'd do se-ven.

Right, se-ven.

Seven.

So, try that again. Let's raise you up a little higher.

'Teresa is having a hard time, but hey, you know, she will try'

anything and she'll give 100%

and she's so damn cute, you know?

Three, four, five, six, seven.

-And do two syllables on seven.

-Oh.

-Seven. Se-ven.

-Yeah, there you go.

Let's do some nursery rhymes.

What's a nursery rhyme you know?

Um, Humpty Dumpty... No, let's see what else. Um...

Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet?

-No. What else?

-Another one.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.

Jack fell down, broke his head.

-Or crown.

-And Jill ran after him.

Well, I don't know if that was, you know,

faithful to the original text, but the puppeteering was good.

'And bless her heart,'

she is learning even more than puppetry.

-Five, six, seven...

-Seven has two syllables.

-Thank you.

-Se-ven. Se-ven.

So, the other thing about hosting is, watch it like you are a fan.

If something goes bad and you end up just sort of having to black it out

and it's sort of a disaster,

if you come out of it laughing, it's still fun.

'As far as the overall performance,'

which is a third of what we are being judged on,

that responsibility mainly lays on my shoulders.

You want to keep up the pace of the show.

If you get this incredible laugh, but it hasn't gone,

like five, six minutes, like you feel like it should,

-end on a high.

-OK.

'You never know what will happen once you get on that stage,'

but I usually impress myself.

'So, I'm not worried.

'I think others probably should be.'

-PENN:

-I'm multitasking.

I'm sewing horns on a monster and I'm contemplating suicide,

so those two things are being done simultaneously.

-She's doing great.

-I'm doing good?

Yeah, you are doing really well.

-Thank you.

-You can come work with us any time.

-I know!

I'm like watching it come to life like over there. It looks great.

Thank you.

'The Henson people said that Day's fabrication'

of the puppet was so good that they would hire her.

'I have gotten zero job offers.'

-Here just add about a half an inch to your pattern here.

-Straight?

-Straight back. Yeah, just... Yeah.

-OK.

-Yeah, that's it.

'I know Lisa says that she is useless,

'but I don't trust what people'

say in the boardroom as fact.

SHE BLOWS KISSES

Very nice.

Let's look at our little puppets!

-Oh!

-Oh, the eyebrows are great.

-He's cute.

-The eyebrows are great.

-Hey, Eric. What's up?

Hey, guys, how are you? Wow. Look at this.

-Could you die?

-How you doing?

-How is the team?

-Really good.

'Eric showed up and he was, you know,'

interested in our progress.

So, who is doing what?

Penn and Dayana have been really overseeing the puppets.

We gave them some ideas.

And Penn hosts the show and Clay and I have been working with

the improv people to try and figure out how to do puppets.

-How is Dayana doing?

-She...did this.

'Lisa was talking to Eric, trying to convince Eric

'that everything's fine, bla-bla-bla-bla-bla'

bla-bla-bla-bla-bla. I was just trying

to make sure that my job was fine.

So, is this your first time ever making puppets, Dayana?

-My first time ever making puppets, Eric.

-That's great.

While everybody seemed very happy in the room,

the one person who stood out was Dayana. She was very quiet,

she was really focused on exactly what she was doing,

almost in an awkward-type way.

Are you guys comfortable with the new teams? Clay?

Listen, I think it's great, everybody here is a team player,

-there's not a weak spot.

-Dayana, do you feel the same way?

Yes.

Good.

I wonder if it's kind of that tension between her and Lisa,

really, manifesting itself

and if she's just uncomfortable being on this team.

When I want to cut off the scene, all I'm going to do is a hand up.

It's usually going to be on a big laugh or on a great line

or if it's just dead in the water and we need to move on,

then we go, "Hi..."

-Look who's here, what's up?

-Hi, guys, how's it going?

Hey, Paul, how's it going?

PAUL LAUGHS Uh-oh. Defeat.

Yeah. The agony.

Paul has a tough back happening today.

-Oh, seriously?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-But you're doing OK?

-Yeah.

It hampers this.

Yeah.

Well, are you going to be one of the puppeteers?

No, they are.

-I would... Yeah, that's a good move.

-Yeah.

'I feel bad for Paul, under the circumstances,'

I think he's doing pretty well, but, definitely,

I've seen his energy level higher.

So, building something like this.

-That's not too bad upstairs.

-So the building part's fine?

-Yeah, and she's very creative.

-Yeah.

-Aubrey is really surprisingly...

That's been a very consistent theme, Aubrey,

that you're the creative...

See, Aubrey is now afraid to say anyth...

Yeah, I'm not saying anything.

Aubrey has obviously internalised the feedback of the group.

I just hope that it doesn't mean that she's so quiet

she doesn't contribute to the creative vision.

So, I think she's got to strike that balance

between being deferential to the project manager,

while still adding value through creativity,

which is ultimately something she is quite good at.

-Oh, yes!

-Baby, you want to make...

Come on, throw it into me darling!

-That's great.

-Do me, baby, do me.

-That's beautiful.

-Break that thing, I'll kill you.

-Don't worry, I'll kill myself.

I don't think so, am I?

No, it's just him and me.

As project manager, I would have been

a little more open to Dayana working and maybe worked a little bit harder

at finding something for her to do.

'But it's tough having been with this group for only one week

'to really understand the dynamic.'

I see both sides of the coin.

Good morning, how are you doing?

Let me just try something right now,

when I say, "Puppet up," you say, "Puppet up."

You all ready? Puppet up!

Penn jumps right in and decides to take on his hosting duties

while Lisa and I are drilling our improv.

Dayana kind of sat in the audience and watched.

This is Lisa and this is Clay with dental care.

Let me hear you say it. Puppet up!

Blanche, you are just divine, what do we have to sell this evening?

For two people who don't have teeth,

we sure do know a lot about dental products.

'I was very impressed with Clay's improvisational skills.'

It's really terrific how well he uses his voice.

Tyler here has a box of props that Lisa and Clay have not seen.

Ooh, this is an old-fashioned toothbrush.

'I think we've been having to think on our feet a lot

'throughout this competition,'

but with this task, especially for Lisa and I,

'we've got to think on our toes.

'And I think the concerns are just making sure'

we've got our brains on tomorrow morning

when it's time to do this presentation.

Tonight, a snow storm in Hawaii has got so many people really damn cold.

I am currently standing in Hawaii and getting blown.

Let me talk to this eyewitness.

'Everybody's rehearsing, I was just sitting there,'

I don't even know what I'm doing tomorrow. Like, I have to...

I have to be asking and asking and asking and asking.

'Like, it's just another demonstration

'of how Lisa's trying just to put me on the side.'

It seems very important to find out if the vapid model people

who normally sit on the beaches... What do they say?

Will we still have vapid models and superficial people?

It seems there'll never be an end to vapid stupidity in Hawaii.

Hold on, I will ask an eyewitness.

LAUGHTER

The whole improv thing, there's so much stuff,

so, I'm going to give you guys a very abbreviated, like,

rules of improv.

-OK.

-OK.

-There's things that help improvs go better.

The number one one is - don't deny.

Like, if someone says, "Your outfit's horrible."

-Yes, my outfit is horrible.

-OK.

And if someone says, "You're clumsy," I want to see you trip.

Like, you always go with someone's idea.

'We learned all the things we needed to know about improv,'

but to learn anyone's art in one day is an impossible task,

so, we'd better practise,

'you really can't get enough practice.'

Look at me. I look fabulous.

Oh, that looks great.

'I'm a little nervous about tomorrow,'

but I'm going to try my best and, you know, that's all I can do.

'You know, at least I'm trying to be a team player.'

'Paul, he's just...'

I don't know what he's really doing

and he's our project manager this week.

But I think he'd rather be riding his motorcycle

than being here and playing with puppets.

Ladies and gentlemen, the story of F Scott Fitzgerald.

Our story begins when his parents are trying to think of a name.

'Arsenio Hall, not my favourite,'

but Arsenio's character's cute.

He's a comedian, he should be able to make people laugh

'and Arsenio and I have to carry the brunt of the performance.'

All right, so, this is an infomercial,

let's do cleaning supplies, kitchen cleaning supplies.

This item.

This is to roll Parmesan cheese on a chicken cutlet.

Yeah, and then after you're done, it cleans itself

and that's how it's a cleaning item.

Remember, we're selling cleaning supplies.

'You could really feel the rolling of the eyes

'every time Teresa just tries to act.'

I mean, she doesn't even know what's happening in a scene,

she doesn't know which character she is.

This is my friend, her name's Tanya.

Hi, Tanya.

-Yeah, you're Tanya.

-I'm Tanya. Wait.

'Teresa's just trying her best,

'which isn't going to be good enough, probably,

'to win this task. And I'm the only one

'that will try to save this with being the host.'

Can you give us some kind of flavour of the fear

these people are feeling, is there any special smell to this fear?

How do you feel about your fear?

Say an adjective.

Monsters!

She feels monsters.

Obviously, the fear is affecting these people's speech centres,

that's a very specific fear.

Teresa, what this really is, it's a Rolodex exercise in comedy,

when you hear a word, just play association

and go through your Rolodex

-and say something that's associated with that word, you know?

-OK.

'So, it's the day of the show'

and we're in the van, on our way over to the theatre,

'and I could tell we're all very nervous, but very excited.'

OK, in the bucket, you just pulled out a pencil.

A pencil? A pencil... Oh, my God.

Um...a toothbrush...

-A device used to keep in gas.

-There you go.

A device used to keep in gas. A pencil?

How would a pencil be used to keep in gas?

Cos you'd put it in the... What is that thing called?

-The gas exhaust.

-The exhaust.

-See, now, I wouldn't know that.

I'm thinking that a gas tank has got a bigger hole than that.

So, gas exhaust has a little tiny hole like that?

It's metaphorical.

What Teresa has working for her is her bubbly, naive,

childlike personality

'and it's endearing and cute,

'but other than that, she doesn't bring much to the table.'

I thought you were talking about somebody's ass.

ARSENIO LAUGHS

No?

When we did Medieval Times, did you guys have a big dressing room?

-No, we had a locker room.

-I know, yeah, that's what I mean, us too.

And Debbie Gibson took a four-alarm dump...

Now, I'm not talking out of school...

'We go to our dressing room at the performance base'

and we're just hanging out.

I'm big on not

'stressing and running stuff the day of,

'because I think that's the death of improv,

'to try to memorise something'

and hope it looks spontaneous.

Since Dayana is in black, could she stand over there

and onstage, beside the puppets and just help people put theirs on?

At least that way she doesn't look like she's not around?

I offered to carry at least the case over,

the objects for the wardrobe.

Well, you're involved in the show because everybody's involved,

just cos you're not onstage, doesn't mean you're not involved,

-so, let's not have drama.

-OK.

-OK?

It's always something, Dayana, isn't it?

-I came to you to ask you, Lisa...

-It wasn't enough?

-Stop it. I came to you to ask you.

-No, don't be, "Stop it."

-There's...listen...

-It's always something.

Backstage is never good enough for you.

'While we were in the dressing room, the discussion arose

'about what Dayana should be doing during the performance, maybe'

in an effort to keep Dayana from having to be backstage

'all the time, she could hand the box of items to our assistants

'from the troupe, but Lisa went'

from zero to 60 in a second.

What you're trying to do,

-BLEEP

-up the whole work.

-I'm trying to help you

-with the box onstage, I'm trying to be part of the team.

-I...I...

And if the box is involved in the situation,

as part of the team I came to you, that's it.

-How about this? Do whatever you

-BLEEP

-want.

How's that?

-I'm not going to...Lisa.

-No, seriously, how does that sound?

OK, ladies. Ladies, ladies, ladies, we've got to be happy and jolly.

-It's always something.

-We've got to be jolly, we've got to do puppets.

-It's always if she's not on the

-BLEEP

-stage,

-she wasn't

-BLEEP

-involved.

-You've got to be in a good mood, so...

Oh, I'll be in a good mood, cos I do this every night.

We've got to go out there and do a comedy performance

and I know Lisa is a professional and will be able to turn it on,

'but I've got to do one too.'

You know what?

-You're a

-BLEEP

-pain in the ass.

I had to a kind of create, out of my ass yesterday

something for you to do.

We could've freaking handled those puppets, believe me.

-We could've glued some

-BLEEP

-make-up and some

-BLEEP

-glue

-on that

-BLEEP

-puppet.

-But you didn't.

Yeah, but guess what?

Cos we had to create something for you to do again.

Lisa, you're the one deciding what you want me to do.

I'm so not fighting with you, just shut up, OK?

-You're the one deciding...

-Shut up.

-..you're the project manager

and I'm here to do what you want me to do.

Just do whatever you want. Bring out the box. Do what you want.

-Never is involved enough.

-BLEEP

-baby.

-The

-BLEEP.

SHE CRIES

It made me upset, cos all I do with Lisa is treat her better

than she does...treats other people.

And she still has no decency or respect.

It's really sad to see.

It's disappointing.

And I've been dealing with her since we started playing.

It's been fun.

You guys just sit there and you act like everything's fine.

-Is it all my responsibility to handle her every

-BLEEP

-task?!

And no-one here can step in ever?

What, are you morally against that?

'I was blown away by the blow up in the dressing room.

'You know, Lisa might be'

jealous of Dayana. She's beautiful. I mean, screw beautiful,

she's stunning.

'And maybe that made Lisa feel threatened.

'It's hard to really tell.'

Always has to be the star, every time.

I'm not going home cos some bitch can't stand being behind the camera.

SHE SNIFFS

Sometimes, jumping in to help those in need of back up, would be great.

I'm not willing to be on a team where people can't ever step in.

'Before the performance,'

Lisa and Dayana

'had a kind of battle. And I got up and left.'

If you'd like me to talk to her, I will.

Well, what would you like to happen on the stage first?

I'll just tell her it won't happen. I mean, exactly what you said,

I'll make sure that's the way it goes.

'Lisa felt I should have backed her more,

'but Lisa was loud and unpleasant

'and when someone is yelling something,'

I pull away and I'm quiet and I don't want to be part of it.

-How are you doing?

-I'm good.

-Will you be OK?

-Yeah.

Well, I think you shouldn't carry the box on

and I think we should just pull it together and let them do a good job.

It's not even about the box.

It's been always like that with Lisa, since I started playing.

I've been always... And that's why I'm in the boardroom the whole time,

cos I've been always pushed on the side.

So they can say, "She didn't do anything, we don't need her."

'Dayana complained to me a bit and I listened.

'I often find that in situations where someone's very upset,

'if you just shut up and look at them,'

it's really the best thing to do.

But I cannot just sit there and shout insults,

so it is hurtful when people treat you like that

and you just try to make them feel good.

-SHE SIGHS

-Whatever, it's been the same thing

with her all the time.

Sometimes not trying to solve things is the best way to solve things.

Do you want to go back in the room

or do you want to stay a little separate from Lisa?

No, I'll go back. I mean, I'm still working with her.

-We're still working.

-OK.

I was concerned after the fight that it might put a little bit'

of a nasty damper on the energy and spirit the group had been

working with thus far.

'But by the time it was time for our performance, we really had gotten

'our energy level back up

'and I think we were all ready to jump out and just go for it.'

How you doing?

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Welcome to Stuffed And Unstrung.

First, we have Clay Aiken.

And we have the Queen of Mean, Lisa Lampanelli.

Penn's the grandfather of comedy.

He's an awesome host. He just knows how to keep the ball rolling.

Thank God he was too tall to do a puppet.

First of all, I need somebody to yell out, you ready for this,

a foreign country, I don't care what it is.

-AUDIENCE MEMBER:

-Iceland!

I heard Iceland first, we'll go with Iceland

And now, something that someone in Iceland might know about.

AUDIENCE SHOUT SUGGESTIONS Ice fishing.

Anything else a little bit more interesting?

-AUDIENCE MEMBER:

-Bjork.

-So, Bjork's ice-fishing career.

I say puppet up!

-AUDIENCE:

-Puppet up!

-Let's go!

AUDIENCE CHEER

Hello, ladies and gentlemen, my name is Buster Mc-such-and-such

and I'm here today with Helga Gebauensdottirs...dottir.

Blieben zie bleiben bebloben de bleurgh.

'The set up'

for doing one of these puppet improv shows

'is a completely different world.

'We have to have the puppets above our head,

'we've got to position them on the camera,

'we're looking at the monitor to see where our puppets are.'

I don't even know if I can say that. These people...

One day while ice fishing, Bjork got tangled up in her line

and was strangled and she had a swan wrapped around her neck.

I definitely believe that Lisa and I

went out there with no reservations, no apprehension

and just went balls to the wall.

'We really were able to play off each other pretty well.'

You know those television biographies,

we want to get someone from like at least 100 years ago.

-AUDIENCE MEMBER:

-Genghis Khan!

-Genghis Khan!

Genghis Khan, he is Asian

and was mean.

-Hello, hello.

-Get out of my face,

get away from me.

I just wanted to tell you that dinner is ready, son.

-Dinner is ready?

-Dinner is ready.

I will eat you! Get away from me!

Genghis was mean, because for some inexplicable reason,

he had an English accent.

-ASIAN ACCENT:

-'I don't know how to do Asian.'

I felt like I was doing this, I felt like I was talking like this,

but I guess I was not.

-ENGLISH ACCENT:

-I've decided I'm going to invade England as well.

They won't notice that you've invaded them,

cos you sound like them.

There was a joke that Clay did that was so funny

and the time of the sketch had definitely gone long enough

where I was like,

"Oh, my God, Penn, like, wrap it up."

-Learn from your mistakes.

-Uh, uh, uh!

The music is his only weakness.

It almost looked like he was sitting back

and enjoying himself watching it.

'And I think he took too long to call the blackout on the scene.'

This next one is just going to be an infomercial

and it's for a collection of things that they're trying to sell

on late-night TV.

AUDIENCE APPLAUD AND CHEER

Hello, everybody, and welcome to PVC -

products, value and crap.

Tonight, we're going to be selling some GOOD items for you.

We've got some medicine and some medicinal products.

We sure do, we sure do, what's the first product?

Oooh, my goodness!

Oh, Lord. Sometimes Blanche gets warts on her under areas

and she can use this to clip them off.

-See, you spread it out...

-Absolutely true.

Do it, do it, do it.

Oh, fantastic. Oh, fantastic.

Lisa and I tended to go a little bit

blue when it came to the jokes.

'Some things might not have been horribly appropriate.'

Now, Blanche's bosoms are different sizes, as you can see.

Yes, they are, actually, if you can see under my dress,

they poke out the bottom.

So, usually I take this, hoist them up and it's, "Hello, Navy!"

The Henson Alternative and our two celebrities -

Lisa Lampanelli, Clay Aiken.

'They might be like, "Oh, my God, that's a little edgy."

'But you know what?'

-I don't give a

-BLEEP

-what anyone says,

I do this for a living.

'I know a live audience, I know an audience that knows you killed

'and, legitimately, we killed it.'

Thank you so much, stay stuffed and unstrung.

Take it easy.

Get in here. Now, I have to bleep it, so it doesn't matter.

-BLEEP

-with each other. One, two, three.

-ALL:

-BLEEP

-with each other.

'Moments before our presentation,'

for me, there was no pressure,

because I was just sitting on the sidelines there,

'but you could feel the energy in the air and you could feel

'that these guys were ready to get out there and ready for the game.'

Hey, everyone! Whoo!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

All right, welcome to Stuffed And Unstrung,

I'm your host, Aubrey O'Day, and today we're going to watch

a bunch of puppets behaving badly.

Here's some language we do at the improv,

whenever I say, "Puppet up," you guys say, "Puppet up."

Ready? One, two, three, puppet up!

-AUDIENCE:

-Puppet up!

-Puppet up!

-AUDIENCE:

-Puppet up!

-Puppet up!

During the performance, I started getting really into it,

the crowd responded really great to me,

I could see everyone with big smiles on their face

and so I felt really inspired to keep it going.

All right, I'm looking for a specialty,

we have someone here that is going to be an expert in a field.

So, shout it out, whatever you guys have...

AUDIENCE SHOUT RESPONSES

Dentistry. All right, Arsenio Hall is an expert in dentistry.

What foreign language does Arsenio Hall speak? Shout it out.

AUDIENCE SHOUT RESPONSES I heard Norwegian.

OK.

'We get a suggestion of Norwegian as a language'

and dentistry as a profession.

Now,

I've never been to Norwegia,

and I flunked out of dental school.

I'm putting my puppet on, thinking, "Oh, Lord."

HE SPEAKS GIBBERISH

HE BURPS

That's rude.

Teeth, they drive us in our daily lives.

They can drive you all the way around in a big circle.

HE SPEAKS GIBBERISH

We use them to eat things like tartare sauce.

Arsenio is the best on our team

at being comedic

and having a quick wit and his Norwegian dentist

was hilarious and the crowd loved it.

All right, we're going to move on to a historical biography

and I want all my actors. Puppet up!

-AUDIENCE:

-Puppet up!

All right, everyone, we're looking for a historical figure

that's been dead for over 100 years.

-AUDIENCE MEMBER:

-Johnny Appleseed.

-Johnny Appleseed, all right.

Let's get a huge round of applause, everyone.

Good evening.

Our story begins in an office, right near Bedford-Stuyvesant.

Doctor, hi, the next patient is here to see you.

Hi.

-I'll leave you two alone.

-I see something's troubling you.

No, nothing's troubling me, what's troubling you?

I'm here to see Johnny.

I'm...I'm Johnny.

You're not Johnny.

'When Teresa first started out, she was hitting a lot of negatives.

'In improv, the only answer is yes.'

I mean, that's like number one, cardinal rule and she broke it,

out the gate.

Hi, Johnny Appleseed.

I miss you really a lot.

Your eyes, they're so beautiful.

Thank you.

And your eyes are so dark.

Yes, like seeds.

Way cool.

-It's far out lingo like that that made me fall in love with you.

-Oh.

I was really nervous for Teresa, but she tends to get on a stage

and win people over

just with her voice

and her ability to not know

what's going on.

Somehow she's fine-tuned that

to actually be a selling point to a crowd.

OK, we're going to move right over to an infomercial.

So, we're looking for a product line.

So, you guys have any suggestions?

Something like cosmetics?

Pantyhose, there we go. OK. Puppet up!

-AUDIENCE:

-Puppet up!

All right, and a huge round of applause.

We're selling pantyhose today.

And we've got a lot of revolutionary products.

-What's the first one?

-Oh that.

-Yeah.

I use that when I wear Spanx.

LAUGHTER

Yeah, it gives you bulges in all the right areas.

Yeah, I put it right underneath my chuckalina when I have to go pee.

Yeah.

-So, not only...

-LAUGHTER

During the performance, I wasn't nervous at all

and I felt like the audience

responded really well to me

and I was hearing laughs.

I feel like I'm an improv-ing pro.

You might want to move over a little bit and give me some room.

-OK.

-There we go.

Let's go to the next item.

Look at that suction on the end.

-It sucks all my fat out.

-Yeah.

-It's way better than Spanx.

-Yeah.

I tried my best to cut off each scene at the right time.

It's definitely a talent.

It's a really difficult job to know where the comedic timing is

and know where something needs to end.

All right, thank you everyone for coming to Stuffed And Unstrung.

I want to call back up my cast of puppeteers.

'I feel really good about Arsenio's performance,'

Teresa ended up pulling it together.

'I think I did a good job at being a team player.

'It was an enjoyable experience.

'So, I feel like we won, even if we didn't.'

Thank you, guys, so much for coming out, we really love you guys.

So, what are your general thoughts and impressions?

Well, first of all, I have to say,

I was very impressed with how much they accomplished in one day.

What did you like and dislike about Unanimous?

In terms of setting up the individual sketches,

getting the suggestions from the audience,

Aubrey did a really good job and she decided when the sketch ended...

-To end the scenes.

-..that's a very important thing.

-Great instinct.

-She was good at that.

-Great instincts.

Arsenio, his performance was pretty doggone solid.

Yeah, great comedic instincts, great rhythm and timing.

Teresa, in terms of her improvising, she was breaking the rules a lot.

Yeah, a lot of questions, denials, which, clearly,

they were trained not to do.

So, in comparison, what did you think of Lisa's team, Forte?

Lisa's improvising was super strong,

I expected real strong performing out of Lisa.

Clay, I wasn't so sure, but he really attacked it.

But there was one part where the material in the infomercial

talked about sexual parts and things on sexual parts,

probably they attacked it too directly

and that's just a slight step too far.

How about Penn cutting the scenes?

I think most of his blackouts were good,

he did miss the Genghis Khan one.

The audience was loving it and it felt like the story was over.

It's like, let's go out on that kind of upswing

and I kind of looked over at him and I thought,

-"He might've turned into an audience member." That can happen.

-Yeah.

So, after seeing the two different teams, the two different skits,

what do you think, who's the winner?

In terms of the overall show, when you add it all up,

it was clear to us that the winner is...

Dayana, how did you get along with Lisa?

-Well, um...

-LISA LAUGHS

How everybody gets along with Lisa, I guess,

-until she explodes.

-Not easy.

Do you think that Lisa was a good project manager or not particularly?

-She was OK.

-Not great?

-Not great.

-OK.

So, Lisa, what did you think of Dayana?

-Um, not much.

-Not much, why?

Because I kind of object to people who think that being

behind the scenes is less important than being on camera or onstage.

-And she thinks that?

-I find it very offensive

when people don't like their behind-the-scenes job,

because that devalues the crew

of every TV show and film that was ever made.

So, I think it's very pushy and unprofessional

to always want to be in front of the camera,