28/02/1978 The Good Old Days


28/02/1978

Similar Content

Browse content similar to 28/02/1978. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!

Transcript


LineFromTo

# Flanagan, Flanagan

0:00:080:00:12

# Take me to the Isle of Man again

0:00:120:00:16

# Take me where the folks all cry

0:00:160:00:19

# K-E-double-L-Y

0:00:190:00:23

# Flanagan, Flanagan

0:00:230:00:27

# If you love your Mary Ann

0:00:270:00:31

# Oh, oh, oh, oh, Flanagan

0:00:310:00:35

# Take me to the Isle of Man. #

0:00:350:00:40

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:00:400:00:44

FANFARE

0:00:440:00:48

CHEERING

0:00:480:00:51

LOUD CHEER

0:00:570:00:59

Once again,

0:00:590:01:02

good evening, ladies and gentlemen!

0:01:020:01:07

CHEERING

0:01:070:01:09

Hyperbolically...

0:01:090:01:12

-AUDIENCE:

-Oooh!

0:01:120:01:13

And that's not rude.

0:01:130:01:15

..polysyllabic in prognostication,

0:01:150:01:20

commemorating Miss Clarice Mayne,

0:01:200:01:25

immutably munificent...

0:01:250:01:27

Oooh!

0:01:270:01:29

LAUGHTER

0:01:290:01:31

..in minstrelsy,

0:01:310:01:34

the Players' Theatre!

0:01:340:01:37

APPLAUSE

0:01:370:01:39

# Put on your tat-ta, little girlie

0:01:440:01:47

# Do-do what I want you to

0:01:470:01:50

# Far from the busy hurly-burly

0:01:500:01:54

# I've got lots to say to you

0:01:540:01:57

# My head's completely twirly whirly

0:01:570:02:00

# My girl I want you to be

0:02:000:02:03

# So put on your tat-ta, your pretty little tat-ta

0:02:030:02:07

# And come out and tat-ta, come out and tat-ta

0:02:070:02:10

# Come out and tat-ta with me. #

0:02:100:02:14

# Josh-u-ah, Josh-u-ah

0:02:140:02:18

# Why don't you call and see Mama?

0:02:180:02:21

# She'll be pleased to know

0:02:210:02:25

# You are my best beau

0:02:250:02:29

# Josh-u-ah, Josh-u-ah

0:02:290:02:33

# Nicer than lemon squash you are

0:02:330:02:36

# Yes, by gosh you are

0:02:360:02:40

# Josh-u-osh-u-ah. #

0:02:400:02:44

# You called me baby doll a year ago

0:02:500:02:56

# You told me I was very nice to know

0:02:560:03:01

# I soon learned what love was

0:03:010:03:05

# I thought I knew

0:03:050:03:08

# But all I've learned has only taught me

0:03:080:03:12

# How to love you

0:03:120:03:17

# You made me think you'd love me in return

0:03:170:03:22

# Don't tell me you were fooling after all

0:03:220:03:29

# For if you turn away

0:03:290:03:32

# You'll be sorry some day

0:03:320:03:37

# You left behind

0:03:370:03:40

# A broken doll

0:03:400:03:46

# You made me think you loved me in return

0:03:480:03:52

# In return, in return, in return

0:03:520:03:55

# Don't tell me you were fooling after all

0:03:550:04:02

# For if you turn away

0:04:020:04:05

# You'll be sorry some day

0:04:050:04:09

# You left behind a broken doll. #

0:04:090:04:16

# Jere-Jeremiah

0:04:160:04:20

# My heart's on fire

0:04:200:04:23

# Play again that sweet refrain

0:04:230:04:26

# Ump-ta-ra-ra, ump-ta-ra-ra

0:04:260:04:30

# Jere-Jeremiah

0:04:300:04:33

# It's the finest tune I've known

0:04:330:04:36

# Rag it, drag it, zig-zig-zag it

0:04:360:04:40

# On your ragtime trombone

0:04:400:04:43

# Jere-Jeremiah

0:04:430:04:46

# My heart's on fire

0:04:460:04:50

# Play again that sweet refrain

0:04:500:04:53

# Ump-ta-ra-ra, ump-ta-ra-ra

0:04:530:04:56

# Jere-Jeremiah

0:04:560:04:59

# It's the finest tune I've known

0:04:590:05:03

# Rag it, drag it, zig-zig-zag it

0:05:030:05:06

# On your ragtime

0:05:060:05:08

# Ragtime

0:05:090:05:11

# Ragtime trombone. #

0:05:130:05:20

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:05:200:05:22

Caledonian capers

0:05:310:05:33

committed in immaculate sartorial impeccability...

0:05:330:05:39

Oooh!

0:05:390:05:40

..the glass of fashion and the very mould of form,

0:05:400:05:46

Mr Barry Cryer!

0:05:460:05:49

APPLAUSE

0:05:490:05:51

Good evening.

0:05:540:05:55

# I love a lassie

0:05:570:06:00

# A bonnie Hieland lassie

0:06:000:06:02

# She's as pure as the lily in the dell

0:06:020:06:06

# She's as sweet as the heather

0:06:060:06:09

# The bonnie bloomin' heather

0:06:090:06:11

# Mary, my Scots bluebell. #

0:06:110:06:16

Good evening, McLadies and McGentlemen.

0:06:160:06:19

They asked me to wear a funny costume, but I refused.

0:06:190:06:22

Now...

0:06:220:06:23

Lovely to be back here again.

0:06:250:06:26

Mr Colehan, our producer, greeted me personally here today.

0:06:260:06:30

The only man whose handlebar moustache has a bell on it.

0:06:300:06:32

And...

0:06:320:06:34

he looked me straight in the eye, he said,

0:06:340:06:36

"You're back, you're back.

0:06:360:06:37

"That's what we like to see - your back."

0:06:370:06:40

A lovely man. He's been doing this show for 25 years, you know.

0:06:400:06:44

The BBC say he's got to carry on till he gets it right. Now...

0:06:440:06:47

To continue my farewell appearance, I'd like...

0:06:520:06:54

..I'd like to greet my good friend Mr Sachs - good evening, sir.

0:06:560:06:58

-Good evening to you.

-I went to St Leonard's at the weekend -

0:06:580:07:01

they all send their regards. Now...

0:07:010:07:03

Mr Bernard Herrmann, our MD,

0:07:030:07:06

which stands for "musical director" and not "doctor of medicine",

0:07:060:07:09

although it has been suggested he could do with a little practice.

0:07:090:07:12

Now...Bernard and the gentlemen of the orchestra

0:07:120:07:15

are a veritable tower of strength to all the artistes in this show.

0:07:150:07:18

To see them weaving their way back from the Duck & Pullet

0:07:180:07:22

and entering the theatre

0:07:220:07:24

and launching into the overture pizzicato

0:07:240:07:26

is the experience of a lifetime, ladies and gentlemen.

0:07:260:07:30

Now, enough of this tittle-tattle.

0:07:300:07:31

That's a Scots expression.

0:07:310:07:33

You know tittle-tattle.

0:07:330:07:34

Oh, yes, a tattle was a garment,

0:07:340:07:36

a woolly garment ladies wore on the chest,

0:07:360:07:38

hence the expression. Now...

0:07:380:07:40

Oh...

0:07:440:07:46

I'm laughing cos I know what's coming next.

0:07:480:07:49

I've had a hell...

0:07:490:07:50

I don't usually listen, but tonight...

0:07:520:07:54

I've had a marvellous year since I saw you.

0:07:540:07:56

I attended the Inversnecky Folk Singing & Sporran-Burning Festival.

0:07:560:08:00

Every night we used to gather round the camp fire singing folk songs

0:08:020:08:06

and setting fire to each other's sporrans.

0:08:060:08:09

You've never heard such top notes in your life.

0:08:090:08:12

But the high spot, the high spot of my year, the veritable pinnacle,

0:08:140:08:20

the veritable pinnacle...

0:08:200:08:22

I do enjoy saying that. Shall we all say that?

0:08:220:08:24

On the count of three - one, two, three...

0:08:240:08:27

ALL: The veritable pinnacle!

0:08:270:08:29

Wonderful - community joking.

0:08:290:08:31

Oh, wonderful. The veritable pinnacle

0:08:310:08:33

was in fact being invited to open the Highland Games.

0:08:330:08:36

Oh, that was wonderful. After the initial traditional meal of haggis

0:08:360:08:40

and senna pods,

0:08:400:08:42

I did a lap of honour and...

0:08:420:08:45

Well, you would, wouldn't you? Anyway...

0:08:460:08:49

I'm blethering here.

0:08:490:08:50

I never even told you the lassie I was singing about in the song.

0:08:500:08:53

Her name is Bridie Angus.

0:08:530:08:55

She's one of the Aberdeen Anguses and she's here tonight somewhere,

0:08:550:08:59

somewhere up there.

0:08:590:09:00

Oh, hello, Bridie!

0:09:000:09:02

Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

0:09:020:09:03

It was the moustache. For a moment...

0:09:030:09:05

I met her at a tea dance.

0:09:050:09:07

You don't half spill some during the lancers.

0:09:070:09:10

I saw her in the corner, poor wee soul, a real wallflower,

0:09:100:09:13

standing in a pot,

0:09:130:09:14

and asked her to dance.

0:09:140:09:16

While we were on the floor - well, not on the floor -

0:09:160:09:20

I asked if I could see her home,

0:09:200:09:21

so she showed me a photograph.

0:09:210:09:23

And...

0:09:230:09:25

we've been going steady ever since.

0:09:250:09:26

I'm telling them about the tea dance, hen.

0:09:260:09:29

I call her hen - she sleeps in the yard.

0:09:290:09:31

I'm...

0:09:310:09:32

I've been walking her up and down outside the theatre before the show.

0:09:320:09:35

I think the black coffee's beginning to work. Are you all right, love?

0:09:350:09:38

Are you all right? I blame the whisky - a shilling a tot.

0:09:380:09:41

Oh, I can get her drunk on £8.

0:09:410:09:43

I'm going to do the poem now

0:09:450:09:46

for the ladies and gentlemen and you, Bridie.

0:09:460:09:48

Wake her up, for God's sake, somebody.

0:09:480:09:50

Here's the poem, love, here's the poem.

0:09:500:09:53

You can search high and low, you can search near and far

0:09:530:09:57

From Land's End up to John O'Groats

0:09:570:09:59

For a love beyond others, but none can compare

0:09:590:10:03

With a Scot and his love for his oats.

0:10:030:10:05

Now there's the poem.

0:10:050:10:06

CHEERING

0:10:100:10:12

That was a near thing, love, wasn't it?

0:10:160:10:19

All quality, no quantity. Now...

0:10:200:10:22

..ladies and gentlemen,

0:10:230:10:25

for Bridie and your good selves,

0:10:250:10:26

we're going to sing the song again,

0:10:260:10:28

a quick wee chorus and this is your last chance to practise,

0:10:280:10:31

cos you're going to sing it again with Mr Ian Wallace later on.

0:10:310:10:35

Thank you, Mr Herrmann.

0:10:350:10:36

# I love a lassie

0:10:390:10:41

# A bonnie, bonnie lassie

0:10:410:10:43

# She's as pure as the lily in the dell

0:10:430:10:47

# She's as sweet as the heather

0:10:470:10:50

# The bonnie bloomin' heather

0:10:500:10:53

# Mary, my Scots bluebell. #

0:10:530:10:56

CHEERING

0:10:580:11:01

You see, it isn't only our sporrans that we're wearing low this year.

0:11:120:11:16

And now, from Canada,

0:11:160:11:20

eager aspirant for your appreciative applause,

0:11:200:11:24

the very newest newcomer to this programme,

0:11:240:11:27

Miss Penelope Beavan!

0:11:270:11:30

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:11:300:11:33

# Coming home from Canterbury fair

0:11:460:11:52

# Coming home alone, yet my fancy still is there

0:11:520:12:00

# Bonnie lads with fancies far too free

0:12:000:12:05

# Made me blush and yet one I fancied fancied me

0:12:050:12:13

# For my smile he gave me love songs

0:12:130:12:19

# For my kiss a ribbon for my hair

0:12:190:12:26

# Coming home alone and in despair

0:12:260:12:32

# For I left my heart there at Canterbury fair

0:12:320:12:40

# "Tis nice to walk," said he to me and so we strolled away

0:12:450:12:52

# "Tis nice to talk," said I but my, what could a body say?

0:12:520:13:00

# His arm was soon around me, in my heart there danced a flame

0:13:000:13:07

# For at last true love had found me

0:13:070:13:11

# How I wish I'd asked his name

0:13:110:13:17

# Now I'm coming home

0:13:180:13:22

# From Canterbury fair

0:13:220:13:26

# In my heart his kiss and his ribbon in my hair

0:13:260:13:34

# Other lads will smile and dance with me

0:13:340:13:40

# But my heart will ache

0:13:400:13:43

# For it will be his smile I see

0:13:430:13:48

# And I know I'll ever love him

0:13:480:13:54

# Ever hope we'll meet again somewhere

0:13:540:14:01

# Coming home alone and in despair

0:14:010:14:08

# For I lost my heart there

0:14:080:14:14

# At Canterbury fair. #

0:14:140:14:20

From Switzerland,

0:14:350:14:38

the acme of acrobatic intrepidity...

0:14:380:14:43

-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

-..and corporeal pliability,

0:14:430:14:47

Mr Rocky Rendall!

0:14:470:14:52

APPLAUSE

0:14:520:14:54

Mr Rendall has just set up a world record of 36 minutes, 45 seconds

0:15:000:15:06

of compression in that small box,

0:15:060:15:08

which measures 19 inches by 19 inches by 19,

0:15:080:15:12

with a little door 12 inches by 12.

0:15:120:15:16

Mr Rendall weighs 16st

0:15:160:15:19

and 5'8" in height.

0:15:190:15:21

Mr Rocky Rendall!

0:15:210:15:23

APPLAUSE AND DRUMROLL

0:15:230:15:26

ORCHESTRA PLAYS SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC

0:15:330:15:37

APPLAUSE

0:16:500:16:52

CHEERING

0:18:300:18:33

Now, the impediments of illusion

0:18:460:18:48

are eliminated for the advent of a primeval pachydermatous...

0:18:480:18:55

-Ohh!

-..panegyric.

0:18:550:18:57

A thick-skinned...

0:18:590:19:01

LAUGHTER

0:19:010:19:02

..song of praise

0:19:020:19:04

from none other than Mr Ian Wallace!

0:19:040:19:09

# A bold hippopotamus was standing one day

0:19:180:19:22

# On the banks of the cool Shalimar

0:19:220:19:26

# He gazed at the bottom as he peacefully lay

0:19:270:19:32

# By the light of the evening star

0:19:320:19:36

# Away on a hilltop sat combing her hair

0:19:360:19:42

# His fair hippopotami maid

0:19:420:19:46

# The hippopotamus was no ignoramus

0:19:460:19:52

# So sang her this sweet serenade

0:19:520:19:56

# Mud, mud, glorious mud

0:19:580:20:03

# Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood

0:20:030:20:08

# So follow me, follow, down to the hollow

0:20:080:20:13

# And there let us wallow in glorious mud

0:20:130:20:21

# The fair hippopotama he aimed to entice

0:20:240:20:29

# From her seat on that hilltop above

0:20:290:20:33

# As she hadn't got a ma to give her advice

0:20:340:20:38

# Came tiptoeing down to her love

0:20:380:20:42

# Like thunder the forest re-echoed the sound

0:20:440:20:48

# Of the song that they sang when they met

0:20:480:20:53

# His inamorata adjusted her garter

0:20:530:20:59

# And lifted her voice in duet

0:20:590:21:03

-HIGH PITCHED:

-# Mud, mud, glorious mud

0:21:050:21:10

# Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood

0:21:100:21:15

# So follow me follow, down to the hollow... #

0:21:150:21:20

HE GIGGLES

0:21:200:21:22

# And there let us wallow in glorious mud

0:21:220:21:28

# Now more hippopotami began to convene

0:21:310:21:36

# On the banks of that river so wide

0:21:360:21:41

# I wonder now what am I to say of the scene

0:21:410:21:46

# That ensued by the Shalimar side?

0:21:460:21:50

# They dived all at once with an ear-splitting splosh

0:21:510:21:57

# Then rose to the surface again

0:21:570:22:02

# A regular army of hippopotami

0:22:020:22:08

# All singing this haunting refrain... #

0:22:080:22:12

All together now!

0:22:120:22:15

# Mud, mud, glorious mud

0:22:150:22:20

# Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood

0:22:200:22:25

# So follow me follow, down to the hollow

0:22:250:22:31

# And there let us wallow

0:22:310:22:34

# In glorious...

0:22:340:22:41

# Mud! #

0:22:410:22:47

From Germany, unparalleled apotheosis of plethoric,

0:22:580:23:06

proliferative profusion...

0:23:060:23:10

Lots and lots.

0:23:100:23:13

Dinardi!

0:23:130:23:15

APPLAUSE

0:23:590:24:00

LAUGHTER AND GASPS

0:27:040:27:06

APPLAUSE

0:29:280:29:30

An histrionically

0:29:410:29:44

heart-felt rendition

0:29:440:29:47

-incorporating a metamorphic trans...

-Ooh!

0:29:470:29:52

..transmogrification for your edification, Miss Marti Webb!

0:29:520:30:00

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:30:010:30:04

# In a gilded hall of music

0:30:150:30:18

# Sat a bright, expectant crowd

0:30:180:30:20

# Waiting for the coming singer

0:30:200:30:22

# Whom they'd hail with praises loud

0:30:220:30:26

# Years ago, he'd been their idol

0:30:260:30:28

# How his wit had made them roar!

0:30:280:30:31

# Now this benefit performance

0:30:310:30:35

# Kept him from the workhouse door

0:30:350:30:38

# What a storm of welcome greets him

0:30:380:30:41

# As he steps upon the stage

0:30:410:30:44

# But, alas, how sadly altered

0:30:440:30:47

# What with illness and with age

0:30:470:30:50

# "I-I c-cannot s-sing t-tonight," he falters

0:30:500:30:55

# As he speaks, he bows his head

0:30:550:30:59

# But his speech was interrupted

0:30:590:31:02

# Someone in the gallery said

0:31:020:31:08

# Sing us one of the old songs, George

0:31:080:31:14

# One of the songs we know

0:31:140:31:19

# Try, old man Do what you can

0:31:190:31:24

# And we'll let the chorus go

0:31:240:31:29

# We can't forget what you used to be

0:31:290:31:34

# In the days when life was new

0:31:340:31:40

# Sing us a song And if you go wrong

0:31:400:31:46

# We'll help to pull you through

0:31:460:31:51

# At this show of recognition

0:31:520:31:55

# Tears ran down the singer's cheeks

0:31:550:31:57

# Twice he started, twice he faltered

0:31:570:32:00

# Neither could he sing nor speak

0:32:000:32:03

# Maybe twas the glorious triumph

0:32:030:32:06

# That his memory still could trace

0:32:060:32:09

# Where he'd shone the best and brightest

0:32:090:32:12

# In the very self-same place

0:32:120:32:16

# Well, he knew the doctor's warning

0:32:160:32:19

# Singing would be fatal now

0:32:190:32:23

# But the gratitude they'd shown him

0:32:230:32:25

# Must be recognised somehow

0:32:250:32:28

# How could he assay to please them?

0:32:280:32:31

# All his wits were now appalled

0:32:310:32:33

# As he stood there hesitating

0:32:330:32:37

# Once again the gallery called

0:32:370:32:42

-AUDIENCE JOINS IN:

-# Sing us one of the old songs, George

0:32:420:32:47

# One of the songs we know

0:32:470:32:53

# Try, old man Do what you can

0:32:530:32:57

# And we'll let the chorus go

0:32:570:33:03

# We can't forget what you used to be

0:33:030:33:08

# In the days when life was new

0:33:080:33:13

# Sing us a song And if you go wrong

0:33:130:33:19

# We'll help to pull you through

0:33:190:33:24

# Then, as though a ray of sunshine

0:33:250:33:28

# Cast a halo round the place

0:33:280:33:30

# Stood a child before the footlights

0:33:300:33:34

# With a smiling angel face

0:33:340:33:38

# "Dad's been ill," she murmured softly

0:33:380:33:42

# "And if me you will allow

0:33:420:33:45

# "Just to let him rest this evening

0:33:450:33:48

# "I will sing for Daddy now"

0:33:480:33:51

# Then a strain of sweetest music

0:33:510:33:56

# Wafted o'er the spacious hall

0:33:560:34:00

-HESITANTLY:

-# After the ball is over

0:34:080:34:16

# After the break of dawn

0:34:160:34:23

# After the dancers' leaving

0:34:230:34:30

# Da-da...da-da...da da... #

0:34:300:34:35

"Many a heart is aching."

0:34:350:34:37

-MORE CONFIDENTLY:

-# Many a heart is aching

0:34:370:34:43

# If you could reach them all

0:34:430:34:50

# Many a heart that is aching

0:34:500:34:56

# After...

0:34:560:35:00

# ..the ball!

0:35:000:35:05

CHEERING

0:35:050:35:08

# As she bowed her thanks

0:35:140:35:16

# And left the stage

0:35:160:35:18

# All eyes in haste were dried

0:35:180:35:21

# Those who heard her Must have blessed her

0:35:210:35:25

# On the night the gallery cried

0:35:250:35:30

-AUDIENCE JOINS IN:

-# Sing us one of the old songs, George

0:35:300:35:35

# One of the songs we know

0:35:350:35:40

# Try, old man Do what you can

0:35:400:35:45

# And we'll let the chorus go

0:35:450:35:50

# We can't forget what you used to be

0:35:500:35:55

# In the days when life was new

0:35:550:36:01

# Sing us a song And if you go wrong

0:36:010:36:07

# We'll help to pull you through

0:36:070:36:13

# So sing us a song

0:36:130:36:17

# And if you go wrong

0:36:170:36:22

# We'll help to pull you through. #

0:36:220:36:29

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:36:290:36:32

-Ebullient in buffoonery...

-Ooh!

0:36:440:36:48

..rumbustious...

0:36:480:36:49

HE LAUGHS I'VE busted!

0:36:490:36:51

..in...in...

0:36:510:36:52

It's that diaphragm.

0:36:550:36:58

..rumbustious in mountebankery...

0:36:580:37:01

your own, your very, very own...

0:37:010:37:04

Mr Bernard Cribbins!

0:37:040:37:06

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:37:060:37:08

# The sultan sat on his Oriental mat

0:37:170:37:20

# In his harem, High Street, Persia

0:37:200:37:23

# He took one sip Of his coffee, just a drip

0:37:230:37:26

# And he says to his slave Oh, curse ya

0:37:260:37:29

# Oh, curse ya, curse ya, curse ya

0:37:290:37:31

# That's the horriblest coffee in Pers-i-a

0:37:310:37:35

# Now, what I want is a proper cup of coffee

0:37:350:37:40

# Made in a proper copper coffee pot

0:37:400:37:42

# I may be off my dot

0:37:430:37:46

# But I want a cup of coffee from a proper coffee pot

0:37:460:37:50

# Tin coffee pots, iron coffee pots

0:37:500:37:53

# They're no use to me

0:37:530:37:56

# If I can't have a proper cup of coffee from a proper copper coffee pot

0:37:560:37:59

# I'll have a cup of tea... #

0:37:590:38:00

Oh! What a lovely chorus!

0:38:000:38:03

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:38:030:38:04

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you!

0:38:040:38:07

-May I come amongst them, Mr Chairman?

-Oh, do, do!

0:38:070:38:10

Thank you very much indeed. Yes...

0:38:100:38:11

Every time I play this hall, that happens. I can't understand it.

0:38:130:38:16

What a lovely audience.

0:38:160:38:17

I think I can say without fear of contradiction

0:38:170:38:20

you're the loveliest audience we've had in here tonight.

0:38:200:38:22

Right? A couple of oompahs, please. Thank you.

0:38:220:38:25

BAND STRIKES UP

0:38:250:38:26

# King Solomon with the Queen would carry on

0:38:300:38:33

# As we read in ancient scandals

0:38:330:38:36

# He gave her lots of silver coffee pots

0:38:360:38:39

# With diamond spouts and 'andles

0:38:390:38:42

# But, cried the Queen of Sheba

0:38:420:38:45

# I would rather have any old tea ba'... #

0:38:450:38:49

All posh, like a queen.

0:38:490:38:50

# What I want is a proper cup of coffee

0:38:500:38:54

# Made in a proper copper coffee pot... #

0:38:540:38:56

Come on, you lot!

0:38:560:38:57

# I may be off my dot

0:38:570:39:00

# But I want a cup of coffee from a proper coffee pot

0:39:000:39:04

# Tin coffee pots, iron coffee pots

0:39:040:39:07

# They're no use to me

0:39:070:39:10

# If I can't have a proper cup of coffee from a proper copper coffee pot

0:39:100:39:14

# I'll have a cup of tea. #

0:39:140:39:16

Very good. Very good! This is all about coffee.

0:39:160:39:19

This is a teetotal chorus. I...

0:39:190:39:22

No, don't leave, sir! You can have one later!

0:39:220:39:25

It's about coffee, ladies and gentlemen.

0:39:250:39:28

So we've got very good GROUNDS for singing it. Right?

0:39:280:39:30

-AUDIENCE GROANS

-A couple of oompahs, please.

0:39:300:39:32

-BAND STRIKES UP

-Yes, thank you.

0:39:320:39:34

# Napoleon found he was in the cart

0:39:370:39:40

# When he lost that Waterloo fight

0:39:400:39:43

# He gave his sword up to Wellington, the lord

0:39:430:39:46

# And he said, You British do fight

0:39:460:39:49

# Yes, you've won Waterloo, sir

0:39:490:39:51

# Now what am I having with you, sir?... #

0:39:510:39:55

All French, right?

0:39:550:39:56

-FRENCH ACCENT:

-# What I want is a proper cup of coffee... #

0:39:560:40:00

Do your lip like that.

0:40:000:40:01

-AUDIENCE:

-# Made in a proper copper coffee pot

0:40:010:40:03

# I may be off my dot

0:40:030:40:06

# But I want a cup of coffee from a proper coffee pot

0:40:060:40:10

# Tin coffee pots, iron coffee pots

0:40:100:40:13

# They're no use to me

0:40:130:40:16

# If I can't have a proper cup of coffee from a proper copper coffee pot

0:40:160:40:20

# I'll have a cup of tea. #

0:40:200:40:22

Very good, very good! There are some people not singing it quite right.

0:40:220:40:25

There's a lady down here was singing...

0:40:250:40:28

"If I can't have a proper cup of coffee,

0:40:280:40:29

"I'm going to ask the copper in for tea."

0:40:290:40:32

I wish you luck, madam! Yes!

0:40:320:40:35

A gentleman over there, I heard him singing, "What I want is

0:40:350:40:37

"a proper pint of porter, and put it in a proper pewter porter pot."

0:40:370:40:41

That might be interesting. I might develop that.

0:40:410:40:43

What I want is a proper pint of porter,

0:40:430:40:45

and put it in a proper pewter porter pot

0:40:450:40:48

Ooh! I may be off my dot

0:40:480:40:50

But I want a pint of porter in a proper pewter pot

0:40:500:40:53

Glass porter pots, brass porter pots

0:40:530:40:55

What are they about?

0:40:550:40:56

# If I can't have a proper pint of porter in a proper pewter porter pot

0:40:560:40:59

# I'll have a sip o' stout. #

0:40:590:41:01

Oh! Nearly made it!

0:41:010:41:04

Yes! A couple of oompahs!

0:41:040:41:06

BAND STRIKES UP

0:41:060:41:07

# In days of old, when nights and days were bold

0:41:110:41:14

# And whisky was much cheaper

0:41:140:41:17

# Dick Turpin rode up to a coffee stall

0:41:170:41:19

# And showed his pistol to the coffee-stall keeper

0:41:190:41:22

# Said he, Stand and deliver

0:41:220:41:25

# My goodness, I'm all of a shiver

0:41:250:41:29

# Now, what...

0:41:290:41:31

# ..I want is a proper cup of coffee

0:41:310:41:34

-# Made in a proper copper coffee pot

-Lovely!

0:41:340:41:37

# I may be off my dot But I want...

0:41:370:41:41

# ..a proper coffee from a proper coffee pot... #

0:41:410:41:43

"Tin coffee pots."

0:41:430:41:44

-# Tin coffee pots...

-..iron coffee pots

0:41:440:41:47

# They're no use to me

0:41:470:41:50

# If I can't have a proper cup of coffee from a proper copper coffee pot

0:41:500:41:54

# I'll have a cup of tea... # And again!

0:41:540:41:55

# Now, what I want is a proper cup of coffee!

0:41:550:41:59

# Made in a proper copper coffee pot

0:41:590:42:02

# I may be off my dot

0:42:020:42:04

# But I want a cup of coffee from a proper coffee pot

0:42:040:42:07

# Tin coffee pots, iron coffee pots

0:42:070:42:10

# They're no use to me

0:42:100:42:11

# If I can't have a proper cup of coffee from a proper copper coffee pot

0:42:110:42:13

-# I'll have a cup of tea! #

-Hey!

0:42:130:42:16

APPLAUSE

0:42:160:42:19

Thank you!

0:42:190:42:20

If you can afford the coffee.

0:42:280:42:31

Stimulant Scottish sonorities,

0:42:310:42:34

doughtily distilled by the Players Theatre

0:42:340:42:38

and Mr Ian Wallace!

0:42:380:42:41

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:42:410:42:43

# I love a lassie, a bonnie, bonnie lassie

0:43:110:43:14

# She's as pure as the lily in the dell

0:43:140:43:18

# She's as sweet as the heather, the bonnie blooming heather

0:43:180:43:23

# Mary, ma Scots bluebell

0:43:230:43:26

# I love a lassie, a bonnie, bonnie lassie

0:43:260:43:30

# She's as pure as the lily in the dell

0:43:300:43:34

# She's as sweet as the heather, the bonnie, blooming heather

0:43:340:43:38

# Mary, ma Scots bluebell. #

0:43:380:43:42

# Just a wee deoch an doris Just a wee dram, that's all

0:43:420:43:48

# Just a wee deoch an doris Afore we gang awa'

0:43:480:43:52

# There's a wee wifie waiting in a wee but and ben

0:43:520:43:57

# If you can say "It's a braw, bright, moonlicht nicht"

0:43:570:43:59

# Then you're all richt, ye ken. #

0:43:590:44:01

# Oh, roaming in the gloaming

0:44:010:44:05

# By the bonnie banks of Clyde

0:44:050:44:09

# Roaming in the gloaming

0:44:090:44:12

# Wi' a lassie by my side

0:44:120:44:15

# When the sun has gone to rest

0:44:150:44:18

# That's the time that I love best

0:44:180:44:22

# Oh, it's lovely roaming in the gloaming. #

0:44:220:44:28

Now, I'll tell ye aboot that wee lassie, but of course,

0:44:280:44:31

at my age, I'm simply reminiscing.

0:44:310:44:34

# I love my Jean, my bonnie, bonnie Jean

0:44:350:44:40

# Oh, she's there if I so need her

0:44:400:44:42

# And she's only 17

0:44:420:44:44

# Her hair is nice and crimpy

0:44:440:44:47

# And her cheeks are like the rose

0:44:470:44:49

# And she comes frae bonnie Scotland

0:44:490:44:51

# Where the bluebell grows. #

0:44:510:44:54

But, ye ken, even the best things come to an end.

0:44:540:44:58

# So we parted on the shore

0:44:580:45:03

# Yes, we parted on the shore

0:45:030:45:08

# I said goodbye

0:45:080:45:11

# For I'm off to Baltimore

0:45:110:45:15

# Then I kissed her on the ship

0:45:150:45:19

# And the crew began to roar

0:45:190:45:24

# Heavey-ho, heavey-ho

0:45:240:45:27

# And we parted on the shore. #

0:45:270:45:31

# Every road through life

0:45:350:45:38

# Is a long, long road

0:45:380:45:41

# Filled with joys and sorrows, too

0:45:410:45:46

# As you journey on, how your heart will yearn

0:45:460:45:51

# For the things most dear to you

0:45:510:45:57

# With wealth and love, tis so

0:45:570:46:02

# But onward we must go

0:46:020:46:09

# Keep right on to the end of the road

0:46:090:46:13

# Keep right on to the end

0:46:130:46:17

# Though the way be long Let your heart be strong

0:46:170:46:23

# Keep right on round the bend

0:46:230:46:27

# Though you're tired and weary, still journey on

0:46:270:46:32

# Till you come to your happy abode

0:46:320:46:37

# Where all the love You've been dreaming of

0:46:370:46:45

# Will be there

0:46:450:46:48

# At the end

0:46:480:46:51

# Of the road

0:46:510:46:55

# Keep right on to the end of the road

0:46:550:47:00

# Keep right on to the end

0:47:000:47:05

# Though the way be long Let your heart be strong

0:47:050:47:10

# Keep right on round the bend

0:47:100:47:15

# Though you're tired and weary, still journey on

0:47:150:47:20

# Till you come to your happy abode

0:47:200:47:25

# Where all your love You've been dreaming of

0:47:250:47:33

-# Will be there

-Will be there

0:47:330:47:37

-# At the end

-At the end

0:47:370:47:40

# Of the road

0:47:400:47:43

# At the end of the road! #

0:47:430:47:48

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:47:480:47:52

Now, there's just time to ask Mr Bernard Cribbins

0:48:050:48:09

and Mr Ian Wallace to lead the company and yourselves

0:48:090:48:12

in the last chorus for tonight, Down At The Old Bull And Bush.

0:48:120:48:15

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Bernard Cribbins, Mr Ian Wallace,

0:48:150:48:18

the entire company, Mr Bernard Herrmann,

0:48:180:48:21

the entire and indefatigable orchestra...

0:48:210:48:24

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:48:240:48:26

..but this time, chiefly...

0:48:260:48:29

..yourselves!

0:48:290:48:32

ALL: # Come, come, come and make eyes at me

0:48:350:48:39

# Down at the Old Bull and Bush

0:48:390:48:41

# Da-da da-da-da

0:48:410:48:43

# Come, come, drink some port wine with me

0:48:430:48:47

# Down at the Old Bull and Bush

0:48:470:48:51

# Hear the little German band Da da-da da-da-da-da

0:48:510:48:54

# Just let me hold your hand, dear

0:48:540:48:58

# Do come, come and have a drink or two

0:48:580:49:02

# Down at the Old Bull and Bush

0:49:020:49:05

# Bush, Bush! #

0:49:050:49:07

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:49:070:49:09

AUDIENCE CLAPS ALONG WITH MUSIC

0:49:130:49:16

Download Subtitles

SRT

ASS