07/03/1978 The Good Old Days


07/03/1978

Leonard Sachs chairs the old-time music hall programme, from March 1978. Guests include Roy Castle, Barbara Windsor, Robert Tear, Benjamin Luxon, Ted Durante & Hilda.


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Transcript


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BAND TUNES UP

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CONDUCTOR TAPS BATON

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BAND PLAYS FANFARE

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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CHEERING

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Once again...

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good evening, ladies and gentlemen!

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-ALL:

-Good evening!

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Inaugurally promulgating...

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Ooh!

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..plenitudinous impotentialities...

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Ooh!

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..the Players Theatre!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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# Goodbye, summer, so long, fall

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# Hello, wintertime

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# Let's take a good old sleigh ride

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# Come on, all

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# Hear those old bells jingle and chime

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# Every Joe and Josie is comfy cosy

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# Their hearts and lips, they decry

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# And so it's goodbye, summer, so long, fall

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# Hello, wintertime. #

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# Winter, winter

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# When the snow is softly falling

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# That's the time to squeeze When you start to freeze

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# In October and November And December, just remember

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# Winter, winter

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# When your sweetheart comes a-calling

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# By the fireside so bright You'll sit and squeeze her

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# That's the time to squeeze her When it's winter. #

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# So give me a little cosy corner

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# And an armchair for two

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# Somewhere with somebody there

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# Anywhere will do

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# Give me an evening in the twilight

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# With the pale moon above

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# And I'll find a cosy little corner

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# In the heart of the one I love

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# Give me a little cosy corner

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# And an armchair for two

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# Somewhere with somebody there

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# Anywhere will do

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# Give me an evening in the twilight

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# With the pale moon above

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# And I'll find a cosy little corner

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# In the heart of the one I love. #

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# Oh, I must go home tonight I must go home tonight

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# I don't care if it's snowing, blowing, I'm going

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# I only got married this morning

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# It fills me with delight

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# I'll stay out as long as you like next week

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# But I must go home tonight

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# Yes, I must go home tonight! #

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Resplendent circus celebrants, for your spectacular...

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-Ooh!

-..astonishment,

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Ted Durante and Hilda!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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BAND PLAYS CIRCUS MUSIC

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HE SPEAKS FAKE GERMAN

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BAND CONTINUES

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HE SHOUTS OUT

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BAND STOPS

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HE CONTINUES TO SPEAK FAKE GERMAN

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HE SIGHS

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BAND PLAYS A WALTZ

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Beautiful!

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Kraut!

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Up! Up! Up!

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Ja! APPLAUSE

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Kraut!

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Kraut! Up! Und komm!

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Kraut on der Kopf.

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Und da-da-da-da-da. On der Kopf mit der Kraut.

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Up! Hey!

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Und...

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HE CRIES OUT

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APPLAUSE

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Kraut up on der Kopf. Ja!

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HE SPEAKS ANGRILY

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What? Is a ferret?

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Catch a ferret, und thpft!

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Kraut, ja! Kopf. The nut!

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Up on ze nut!

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Right up on ze nut.

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Hop!

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Gut!

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Gut...

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Allez oop!

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Allez oop!

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Get off me bloody 'ead!

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APPLAUSE

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HE LAUGHS UNCONVINCINGLY

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My neck!

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I've lost my neck. Don't stand there, look for it!

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It's about that big. It's got a wart on the back.

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Was ist das? What?

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Yeah, that's gut! APPLAUSE

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All right!

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BAND PLAYS CIRCUS MUSIC

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CHEERING

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Contributory from current Covent Garden ovations...

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-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

-..resonant in reverberancies,

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Mr Robert Tear!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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SOLO PIANO PLAYS

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# It was many and many a year ago

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# In a kingdom by the sea

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# That a maiden there lived whom you may know

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# By the name of Annabel Lee

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# And this maiden, she lived with no other thought

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# Than to love and be loved by me

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# I was a child and she was a child

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# In this kingdom by the sea

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# But we loved with a love that was more than love

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# I and my Annabel Lee

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# With a love that the winged seraphs of Heaven

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# Coveted, her and me

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# And this was the reason that long ago

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# In this kingdom by the sea

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# A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling

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# My beautiful Annabel Lee

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# So that her high-born kinsmen came

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# And bore her away from me

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# To shut her up in a sepulchre

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# In this kingdom by the sea

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# My beautiful Annabel Lee

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# My beautiful Annabel Lee

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# But the moon never beams without bringing me dreams

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# Of a beautiful Annabel Lee

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# And the stars never rise but I see the bright eyes

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# Of a beautiful Annabel Lee

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# And so all the night-tide I lay down by the side

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# Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride

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# In her sepulchre there by the sea

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# In her tomb by the sounding sea

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# My beautiful Annabel Lee

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# My beautiful...

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# Annabel Lee. #

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-Gregarious...

-Ooh!

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..in galorously diverting drolleries...

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Ooh!

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..from Yorkshire...

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LOUD CHEERING

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..Mr Tom Mennard!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Oh!

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Thank you.

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TOM CHUCKLES

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I had never set eyes on the bloke before in my life.

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Never.

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There we are in the doctor's waiting room. He turns to me,

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a perfect stranger, he says, "What have you come to see him for?"

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I said, "Something private."

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I am not one who goes round showing me operations, y'know?

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So the doctor comes over. He's got one of these hydraulic syringes.

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And he sticks the needle in me arm and took something out,

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squirted it in a test tube, held it up to the light.

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He gave it to the nurse. He says, "Take that to the brewery.

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"Maybe they can tell us what it is."

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He says, "There's a drop of blood in your alcohol stream.

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"Otherwise, you're not bad."

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So, I put me clothes on, I came out.

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I thought, "I shan't stay with him long."

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And in the evening - that was the Friday - I met my particular

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friends, Harry Armitage, Charlie Hollindale.

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We went round the Goat and Compasses.

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It was funny, because they opened, as always, at six,

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and when we got there it was nearly five past, y'know?

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And the landlord had sent one of the lads round the hospital

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to see if there'd been an accident.

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And we get in there. I mean, we just take it steady.

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We're not alcoholics.

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Y'know, I mean, I can make a pint last five minutes if I drag it out.

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Y'know, for a bet. And, erm...

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We're drinking there, steady. About nine o'clock,

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Harry upset the landlord, which is quite easy.

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I thought, "I'll get these three out of here."

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So I says to the barman, I said,

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"Where's this new games room they've opened?

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"It said on the third floor."

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He said, "In the state that Charlie's in,

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"you want to send him up in the lift."

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So we get Charlie in this lift, me, Harry and Fred.

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He gets out on the third floor,

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saw this waiter walking past, called him over.

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He says, "Waiter!

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"Very cramped in that lift you've got over there.

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The waiter said, "Yes, sir.

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"Well, normally that one only holds two plates of soup and a teapot."

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So I said to the lads,

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"We won't bother with the lift, we'll go by the stairs.

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"It won't take long" - which it didn't,

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we missed every one of 'em.

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We was all right till we got in the street, and then it started,

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because - every gentleman here tonight will vouch for this -

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it is not the stuff you drink that does the damage.

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It's the fresh air.

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And believe me, that street was full of it.

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I felt like writing to the Yorkshire Post.

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Within a minute, Harry's lying flat on his stomach on the pavement,

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his fingers gripped tightly over the edge of the kerb.

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He looked up at me, he says, "Get a ladder, quick.

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"I can't hang on much longer."

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Do you mind not laughing while I'm talking? I'm trying to get...

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I helped him stand up, looked round.

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There's Charlie, hanging round the lamppost, knocking on it like mad.

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I says, "What are you knocking on there for?"

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He says, "I know there's somebody in. There's a light on upstairs."

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We get to Harry's house.

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He was looking for the key, and I was looking for the door.

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And the...door opened. Harry's missus stood there,

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looking daggers at me, Fred and Charlie, cos for some reason

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what we have never discovered, she doesn't seem keen on any of us.

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I thought, "She doesn't look very happy."

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And I'm very good at flattery.

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And let's face it, the ladies like it, don't they? Y'know?

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And she's standing there, she's got a long black dress on,

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a big hat full of flowers. I thought, "I'll do it."

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So I said, "Hello, Mrs Armitage!" She says, "Hello..."

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I said, "Your dress might be tatty, but the hat's very nice."

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She says, "Thank you. It should be. I've just paid nearly 27/6 for this.

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"It's a new hat. You're supposed to wish on it."

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I says, "You what?!"

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She says, "You're supposed to wish on it." Well...

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Charlie's just that little bit hard of hearing, y'know?

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And... Yeah!

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And I think he must have misunderstood her.

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Anyhow, he had to buy her a new hat.

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I'm off for a new pint. Ta-ra for now. So long. Bye. He-hey!

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-Superlatively...

-Ooh!

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..sonorous in a distillation of supplicatory...

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-Ooh!

-..invocation...

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-A song of pleading.

-Awww!

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..Mr Benjamin Luxon!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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# Into a railway station crept a little child one night

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# The last train was just leaving and the bustle at its height

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# The stationmaster, standing there, looked down with wond'ring eyes

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# Upon this little maid, so frail in form, so small in size

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# "Where is your father, little one? Are you alone?" he cried

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# With tearful eyes she looked up in his face and thus replied

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# Give me a ticket to heaven

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# That's where Dad's gone, they say

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# He'll be so lonely without me

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# Travelling all that way

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# Mother died when I was born, sir

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# And left Dad and me all alone

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# So give me a ticket to heaven, please

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# Before the last train is gone

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# My daddy worked upon the line, and when I went tonight

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# To take his tea he lay there on a shutter, oh, so white

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# Then to a great big building his mates carried him away

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# "He's booked for heaven, poor old Dick," I heard one of them say

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# A station this must be, I thought to catch the train I'd wait

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# But, finding none, I ran on here, I hope I'm not too late

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AUDIENCE JOINS IN: # Give me a ticket to heaven

0:21:280:21:33

# That's where Dad's gone, they say

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# He'll be so lonely without me

0:21:390:21:44

# Travelling all that way

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# Mother died when I was born, sir

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# And left Dad and me all alone

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# So give me a ticket to heaven, please

0:22:010:22:07

# Before the last train is gone

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# The stationmaster said, "Come, little one, I'll see you right

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# "A ticket to your father you shall have this very night"

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# He took her to the hospital, they let her see her dad

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# Though injured, he had not been killed

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# And, oh, her heart was glad

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# Then, turning to that kind friend who had brought her all the way

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# She said, "If I lose Dad again, I'll come to you and say..."

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# Give me a ticket to heaven

0:22:580:23:03

# That's where Dad's gone, they say

0:23:030:23:09

# He'll be so lonely without me

0:23:090:23:14

# Travelling all that way

0:23:140:23:19

# Mother died when I was born, sir

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# And left Dad and me all alone

0:23:240:23:30

# So give me a ticket to heaven, please

0:23:300:23:37

# Before the last train has gone. #

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CHEERING

0:23:540:23:56

Beguiling gaminerie...

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Ooh!

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French.

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-..in...

-HE LAUGHS

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..a Marie Lloyd medley, your own, your very own

0:24:090:24:15

Miss Barbara Windsor!

0:24:150:24:18

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:24:180:24:20

CHEERING

0:24:230:24:24

# Up to the West End, right in the best end

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# Straight from the country came Miss Maudie Brown

0:24:290:24:33

# Her father a curate but couldn't endure it

0:24:330:24:37

# And that's why the lady's residing in town

0:24:370:24:41

# 12 months ago, her modest self felt quite sublime

0:24:410:24:45

# To sit on a boy's knee who was covered in grime

0:24:450:24:48

# And if you should want a kiss

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# She would droop her eyes like this

0:24:510:24:53

# But now she keeps them just one at a time

0:24:530:24:57

# And every little movement has a meaning of its own

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# Every little movement tells a tale

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# Oh, when she walks in dainty hobble

0:25:080:25:13

# In the background there there's a kind of wibble-wobble

0:25:130:25:17

# And she glides like this

0:25:170:25:20

# And the Johnnies follow in her trail

0:25:200:25:24

# But when she turns her head like so

0:25:240:25:27

# Something's stirring, don't you know?

0:25:270:25:29

# And every little movement tells a tale. #

0:25:290:25:32

APPLAUSE

0:25:340:25:36

# When I take my morning promenade

0:25:410:25:45

# Quite a fashion card on the promenade

0:25:450:25:49

# Now, I don't mind nice boys staring hard

0:25:490:25:52

# If it satisfies their desire

0:25:520:25:56

# Do you think my dress is a little bit

0:25:560:26:00

# Just a little bit, not too much of it?

0:26:000:26:03

# Though it shows my shape just a little bit

0:26:030:26:07

# That's the little bit the boys admire

0:26:070:26:11

AUDIENCE JOINS IN: # When I take my morning promenade

0:26:110:26:15

# Quite a fashion card on the promenade

0:26:150:26:19

# Now, I don't mind nice boys staring hard

0:26:190:26:23

# If it satisfies their desire

0:26:230:26:27

# Do you think my dress is a little bit

0:26:270:26:30

# Ooh! Just a little bit, but not too much of it?

0:26:300:26:34

# Though it shows my shape just a little bit

0:26:340:26:38

# That's the little bit the boys admire. #

0:26:380:26:42

Ooh!

0:26:420:26:43

APPLAUSE

0:26:430:26:44

# Now, we had to move away Cos the rent we couldn't pay

0:26:450:26:49

# The moving van came round just after dark

0:26:490:26:52

# There was me and my old man Shoving things inside the van

0:26:520:26:56

# Which we'd often done before, let me remark

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# We packed all that we could pack On the van, and that's a fact

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# And we got inside all we could get inside

0:27:030:27:06

# Then we packed all we could pack On the tailboard at the back

0:27:060:27:10

# Till there wasn't any room for me to ride

0:27:100:27:14

AUDIENCE JOINS IN: # And my old man said follow the van

0:27:140:27:20

# And don't dilly-dally on the way

0:27:200:27:23

# Oh, off went the van with me home packed in it

0:27:230:27:28

# And I followed on with me old cock linnet

0:27:280:27:32

# I dillied and dallied I dallied and dillied

0:27:320:27:37

# I lost me way and don't know where to roam

0:27:370:27:40

# But you can't trust a special like the old-time copper

0:27:400:27:44

# When you can't find your way home

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# No, you can't trust a special like the old-time copper

0:27:480:27:52

# When you can't find your way home! #

0:27:520:28:00

CHEERING

0:28:000:28:02

# I'm a young girl who's just come over

0:28:100:28:15

# Over from the country where they do things big

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# And amongst the boys I've got a lover

0:28:200:28:26

# And since I've got a lover, well, I don't give a fig

0:28:260:28:32

# For the boy that I love's up in the gallery

0:28:330:28:40

# The boy that I love's looking down at me

0:28:420:28:47

# There is he, can't you see? Waving his handkerchief

0:28:470:28:54

# As merry as the robin that sings on a tree

0:28:540:29:02

# The boy that I love's up in the gallery

0:29:040:29:09

# The boy that I love's looking down at me

0:29:110:29:16

# There he is, can't you see? Waving his handkerchief

0:29:170:29:25

# As merry as the robin...

0:29:250:29:31

# That sings on a tree. #

0:29:310:29:37

CHEERING

0:29:550:29:58

A dulcitoned duplicity in antiphonal...

0:30:060:30:11

-Ooh!

-..threnody...

0:30:110:30:14

Ooh!

0:30:140:30:15

A duet.

0:30:150:30:17

..Mr Benjamin Luxon and Mr Robert Tear!

0:30:170:30:22

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:30:220:30:25

# A dickie bird sat on an apple-tree bough

0:30:330:30:37

# And warbled by night and day

0:30:370:30:40

# His words you'll hear, should you list' to him now

0:30:400:30:45

# A-trilling his roundelay

0:30:450:30:49

# Few folks can boast a voice like mine

0:30:490:30:53

# Such beauty of tones a gift divine

0:30:530:30:57

# I'll sing my notes from A to G

0:30:570:31:03

# And an opera star...

0:31:030:31:10

# ..I will someday be

0:31:100:31:13

-# Tweedle-deedle-dee

-Tweedle-deedle-dee

0:31:130:31:15

# Tweedle-deedle-dee, tweedle- deedle-deedle-deedle-deedle-dee

0:31:150:31:19

# Tweedle-deedle-dee, tweedle- deedle-dee, tweedle-deedle-dee, tweedle-deedle-dee...

0:31:190:31:22

-# Few folks can boast a voice like mine

-Tweedle-deedle-dee

0:31:220:31:27

-# Such beauty of tone is a gift divine

-Tweedle-deedle-dee

0:31:270:31:31

-# I'll sing my notes from A to G

-Tweedle-deedle-dee

0:31:310:31:35

-# An opera star I will be

-Tweedle-deedle-dee

0:31:350:31:40

-# Someday I will be

-La-la-la la-la-la

0:31:400:31:43

# And an opera star I'll be

0:31:430:31:52

# A star I'll be

0:31:520:31:55

-# Tweedle-deedle-dee

-I'll sing my notes from A to G

0:31:550:32:00

# An opera star...

0:32:000:32:02

-# ..I will someday be

-He will someday be

0:32:020:32:09

# On high in that tree dwelt a bachelor owl

0:32:140:32:18

# A grim old customer, he

0:32:180:32:21

# That fellow, he cried with ferocious scowl

0:32:210:32:26

# Will soon be my death, I can see

0:32:260:32:30

# He sings by night, he sings by day

0:32:300:32:34

# Oh, would that his lease would expire next May

0:32:340:32:39

# For nothing on earth can be such a bore

0:32:390:32:46

# As musical folk hoo-hoo-hoo!

0:32:460:32:50

# In the hoo-hoo-hoo! hoo-hoo-house

0:32:500:32:55

# The house next door

0:32:550:32:59

# The house next...

0:32:590:33:05

-# ..hoo-hoo-hoo! door

-Tweedle-deedle-dee

0:33:050:33:07

-# Tweedle-deedle-dee

-Tweedle-deedle-dee

0:33:070:33:09

# Tweedle-deedle-deedle-deedle- deedle-dee

0:33:090:33:12

# Tweedle-deedle-dee Tweedle-deedle-dee

0:33:120:33:15

# Tweedle-deedle-dee Tweedle-deedle-dee...

0:33:150:33:17

-# He sings his notes from A to G

-Tweedle-deedle-dee

0:33:170:33:20

-# Can no-one persuade him to stay away?

-Tweedle-deedle-dee

0:33:200:33:25

-# He sings his notes from A to G

-Tweedle-deedle-dee

0:33:250:33:29

# An opera star he will be someday be

0:33:290:33:37

# And an opera star he'll be

0:33:370:33:45

# A star he'll be

0:33:450:33:49

-# Tweedle-deedle-dee

-I'll sing my notes from A to G

0:33:490:33:53

-# An opera star

-Tweedle-deedle-dee

0:33:530:33:56

-# ..I will some...

-He will some...

0:33:560:34:06

-# ..day be

-..day be. #

0:34:060:34:08

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:34:080:34:11

-Purveying a positive pantechnicon...

-Ooh!

0:34:260:34:31

-..of talents tantamount to a tattoo...

-Ooh!

0:34:310:34:35

..the one and only Mr Roy Castle!

0:34:350:34:39

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:34:390:34:41

BAND PLAYS On Ilkley Moor Baht 'At

0:34:410:34:45

Thank you, thank you.

0:34:490:34:51

Thank you, sir.

0:34:540:34:56

Here in Leeds, they've discovered a new way of letting you know

0:35:070:35:11

when your time's up.

0:35:110:35:13

Whoever's by me when this goes off goes out with me for the evening.

0:35:160:35:20

Where to? Nobody knows. It'll be a glorified mystery trip.

0:35:220:35:27

Right, well, I've just about had enough now. I, er...

0:35:270:35:30

We'll pass it round, shall we?

0:35:310:35:33

Like a pass-the-parcel, isn't it?

0:35:370:35:39

If you'd like to play this for a bit now...

0:35:410:35:43

Don't push him away! Did you see? She said, "Get off it, get off it!"

0:35:440:35:49

HE CHUCKLES

0:35:490:35:50

He's not saying anything, look!

0:35:500:35:52

-You're alight.

-Yeah. Oh!

0:35:540:35:55

He says, "Your trousers are on fire."

0:35:550:35:58

I'll be burnt down to the ground.

0:36:000:36:03

Do you want to have a go at this? Can you play these? That's it.

0:36:030:36:06

LOW NOTE Oh!

0:36:060:36:09

That was great! That was great! APPLAUSE

0:36:090:36:12

Fantastic!

0:36:120:36:14

I think we should try and stamp that out. It won't stop. Ah, yeah. There.

0:36:150:36:19

We'll play a duet, seeing as you can play so well. Go on, you stand up.

0:36:190:36:22

Have a blow at this. Come on, you'll be all right. Have a good blow.

0:36:220:36:25

No, don't pass it round.

0:36:250:36:26

LOW NOTES Beautiful. Beautiful.

0:36:260:36:29

Stand up a bit. Keep your handkerchief on you. That's it.

0:36:290:36:32

You play that, I'll play this. All right?

0:36:320:36:35

Cos it's going to be a marching job, this.

0:36:350:36:37

Right, off you go.

0:36:370:36:39

ONE NOTE Keep going.

0:36:390:36:42

Keep going. Keep going.

0:36:420:36:44

Aren't you glad you're not wearing a hat now?

0:36:450:36:48

QUICK, RHYTHMIC NOTES

0:36:480:36:50

That's it. Keep going.

0:36:500:36:52

Now stand up and march round.

0:36:520:36:54

I'll start you off. That's it.

0:37:000:37:01

ROY PLAYS The Yellow Rose Of Texas

0:37:040:37:06

Keep going. What's the matter with you?

0:37:080:37:10

ROY SPEEDS UP

0:37:180:37:20

APPLAUSE

0:37:250:37:26

ROY LAUGHS

0:37:260:37:28

It'll be all right.

0:37:340:37:36

Once it's all over, all your teeth go to the bottom, down there.

0:37:360:37:39

We'll just play that last phrase now.

0:37:410:37:43

Keep going.

0:37:540:37:55

Oi! ROY WHISTLES

0:37:560:37:58

We're playing down here, son. We're playing a duet down here.

0:37:580:38:02

Hold it, hold it.

0:38:020:38:03

OI!

0:38:030:38:04

Can I leave that with you?

0:38:040:38:05

We're playing a duet down here!

0:38:050:38:07

Oi! OI!

0:38:090:38:12

Oi!

0:38:120:38:14

-Come on. ALL:

-Oi!

0:38:140:38:16

Yeah, come on, come on, a big one.

0:38:180:38:19

OI!

0:38:190:38:21

Right. Right...

0:38:220:38:23

APPLAUSE

0:38:350:38:36

OK, that'll do. APPLAUSE

0:38:550:38:57

Would you mind removing your hat, please?

0:39:030:39:05

ROY CHUCKLES

0:39:050:39:06

Right, here we go, lad. Give us a roll, then.

0:39:060:39:09

Give us a roll on your drum, lad.

0:39:090:39:12

It goes "Ma-ma Da-da".

0:39:120:39:13

Getting faster and faster

0:39:160:39:18

until it becomes a roll.

0:39:180:39:20

APPLAUSE

0:39:430:39:44

Nothing.

0:39:520:39:53

I think we've got him!

0:40:090:40:10

HE PLAYS SOFTLY

0:40:100:40:11

HE PLAYS MUCH LOUDER

0:40:170:40:20

TWO LOUD BANGS ON DRUM

0:40:230:40:26

15 all.

0:40:280:40:29

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:41:040:41:06

ROY CHUCKLES

0:41:160:41:18

Cuckoo!

0:41:240:41:26

Cuckoo!

0:41:310:41:32

Cuckoo!

0:41:340:41:35

It's three o'clock.

0:41:360:41:38

APPLAUSE

0:41:560:41:57

HE SHOUTS LIKE A DRILL SERGEANT: Company, by the right...

0:42:040:42:07

quick...

0:42:070:42:10

march!

0:42:100:42:12

HE SHOUTS

0:42:180:42:20

By the right...

0:42:210:42:23

..quick...

0:42:240:42:26

MARCH!

0:42:260:42:27

Got you! Got you!

0:42:320:42:34

AUDIENCE CLAPS ALONG

0:43:100:43:12

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:43:220:43:24

Look at this. Cuckoo! How about that, then, eh?

0:43:320:43:36

Look at that. Cuckoo!

0:43:500:43:53

Show him yours. Show him yours.

0:43:530:43:56

ROY LAUGHS

0:44:020:44:03

CHEERING

0:44:320:44:35

In an harmoniously homogenised

0:44:490:44:54

Harry Champion show...

0:44:540:44:56

..the Players Theatre with Mr John Rutland!

0:44:570:45:02

# Everybody knows him in his old brown hat

0:45:080:45:11

# That he's got upon his pim-pim-pimple

0:45:110:45:15

# It only cost him a tanner down the Cut

0:45:150:45:18

# But it looks all right on his little wooden nut

0:45:180:45:22

# Oh, I say, oh, I say, now

0:45:220:45:25

# What do you think of that? Think of that?

0:45:250:45:27

# If he can't get what he orders in a pot

0:45:270:45:31

# He'll have it in his old brown hat

0:45:310:45:33

# Well, why not?

0:45:330:45:35

# Where I live, my neighbours are a nice lot

0:45:350:45:38

# Specially when I'm out of doors

0:45:380:45:39

# They all treat me with great respect

0:45:390:45:41

# But they never say, "What's yours?"

0:45:410:45:42

# If I walk in a public house

0:45:420:45:44

# They say, "Look out, he's here"

0:45:440:45:46

# They grab their pots and glasses, shouting

0:45:460:45:48

# "Danger, mind your beer" Whoo!

0:45:480:45:50

# Everybody knows me in me old brown hat

0:45:500:45:51

# That I got upon me pim-pim-pimple

0:45:510:45:53

# It only cost me a tanner down the Cut

0:45:530:45:54

# But it looks all right on me little wooden nut

0:45:540:45:56

# Oh, I say, whaddya think of that?

0:45:560:45:59

# If I can't get what I order in a pot

0:45:590:46:01

# I'll have it in me old brown hat Well, why not?

0:46:010:46:03

# Have it in me old brown hat Well, why not?

0:46:030:46:05

# Have it in me old brown hat. #

0:46:050:46:06

# What a mouth, what a mouth! What a north and south

0:46:060:46:08

# Lumme, what a mouth he's got

0:46:080:46:10

# When he was a youngster, Oh, Gawd lovell

0:46:100:46:12

# His poor old mum used to feed him with shovel

0:46:120:46:14

# What a gap, poor chap, he's never been known to laugh

0:46:140:46:17

# Whoa, if he did, it's a penny to a quid

0:46:170:46:19

# His face would fall in half. #

0:46:190:46:20

# Don't walk about without a cady on

0:46:200:46:23

# Ginger, you're barmy

0:46:230:46:24

# Get your 'air cut, get your 'air cut

0:46:240:46:26

# Ginger, you're barmy! #

0:46:260:46:27

# Oh, I say, whaddya think of that?

0:46:270:46:31

# If I can't get what I order in a pot

0:46:310:46:33

# I'll have it in me old brown hat Well, why not?

0:46:330:46:35

# Have it in me old brown hat Well, why not?

0:46:350:46:36

# Have it in me old brown hat

0:46:360:46:38

# Daddle-daddle da da, daddle-daddle da da

0:46:380:46:40

# Da, da, brown hat! #

0:46:400:46:43

CHEERING

0:46:430:46:45

# There's one day a week when we feel a bit gay

0:46:510:46:55

# That's Saturday

0:46:550:46:57

# Saturday?

0:46:570:46:58

# When we get our wages, it's all hip-hooray

0:46:580:47:02

# On Saturday

0:47:020:47:04

# Saturday!

0:47:040:47:05

# You go all the week perhaps and can't get a sub

0:47:050:47:09

# But the day comes at last when your rufties you rub

0:47:090:47:13

# And directly you gets it, you're off to a pub!

0:47:130:47:17

# On Saturday

0:47:170:47:19

# Oh, Saturday, that's the day for me

0:47:220:47:26

# We have a fair old beano and we spend our L s d

0:47:260:47:31

# On Monday morning we are always B-R-O-K-E

0:47:310:47:37

# Oh, Saturday, that's the day for me

0:47:370:47:41

# Oh, Saturday, that's the day for me

0:47:410:47:46

# We have a fair old beano and we spend our L s d

0:47:460:47:51

# On Monday morning we are always B-R-O-K-E

0:47:510:47:57

# Oh, Saturday, lovely, lovely Saturday

0:47:570:48:01

# Saturday, the day for... #

0:48:010:48:06

# Boiled beef and carrots, Boiled beef and carrots

0:48:060:48:10

# That's the stuff for your Derby Kell

0:48:100:48:12

# Makes you fit and it keeps you well

0:48:120:48:14

# Don't live like vegetarians on food they give to parrots

0:48:140:48:17

# From morn till night, blow out your kite

0:48:170:48:19

# On boiled beef and carrots. #

0:48:190:48:21

# I like pickled onions, I like piccalilli

0:48:210:48:25

# Picked cabbage is all right

0:48:250:48:26

# On a bit of cold meat on Sunday night

0:48:260:48:28

# I can go tomatoes-es, but what I do prefer

0:48:280:48:32

# Is a little bit of cucum, cucum-cucum

0:48:320:48:34

# A little bit of cucumber. #

0:48:340:48:35

# Any old iron, any old iron Any-any-any old iron

0:48:350:48:39

# You look neat Talk about a treat

0:48:390:48:41

# You look dapper from your napper to your feet

0:48:410:48:43

# Dressed in style, brand-new tile Father's old green tie on

0:48:430:48:46

# I wouldn't give you tuppence for your old watch chain

0:48:460:48:48

# Old iron, old iron

0:48:480:48:50

# Any old iron, any old iron

0:48:500:48:52

# Boiled beef and carrots

0:48:520:48:54

# A little bit of cucum, cucum-cucum

0:48:540:48:56

# Any, any, any, what a mouth, any old iron, brown hat

0:48:560:48:59

# And his soul goes marching on

0:48:590:49:03

# Everybody knows me in me old brown hat!

0:49:030:49:09

-# Brown hat!

-Brown hat!

-# Brown hat! #

0:49:120:49:14

And now, there's just time to ask Mr Roy Castle and

0:49:260:49:29

Miss Barbara Windsor to lead the company and yourselves in the

0:49:290:49:32

last chorus for tonight, Down At The Old Bull And Bush.

0:49:320:49:35

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Roy Castle, Miss Barbara Windsor, the entire

0:49:350:49:39

company, Mr Bernard Herrmann,

0:49:390:49:41

the entire and indefatigable orchestra...

0:49:410:49:44

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:49:440:49:47

..but this time, chiefly...

0:49:470:49:49

-ALL:

-..yourselves!

0:49:490:49:52

# Come, come, come and make eyes at me

0:49:560:49:59

# Down at the Old Bull and Bush

0:49:590:50:02

# Da-da da-da-da

0:50:020:50:03

# Come, come, drink some port wine with me

0:50:030:50:07

# Down at the Old Bull and Bush

0:50:070:50:09

# Hear the little German band Da da-da-da da-da-da

0:50:100:50:14

# Come let me hold your hand, dear

0:50:140:50:18

# Do, do, come and have a drink or two

0:50:180:50:22

# Down at the Old Bull and Bush

0:50:220:50:25

# Bush, Bush! #

0:50:250:50:27

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:50:270:50:30

AUDIENCE CLAPS ALONG TO MUSIC

0:50:320:50:35

Leonard Sachs chairs the old-time music hall programme, originally broadcast on 7 March 1978. Guests include Roy Castle, Barbara Windsor, Robert Tear, Benjamin Luxon, Ted Durante & Hilda, and members of the Players' Theatre London.


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