31/12/1978 The Good Old Days


31/12/1978

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FANFARE

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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CHEERING

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Once again, good evening, ladies and gentlemen!

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-AUDIENCE:

-Good evening!

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-Phantasmagorically...

-Ooh!

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..felicitous, our festival... Pardon me.

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..our festival,

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festival frivolities effloresce in a pantomime plethora,

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multipotent from The Players Theatre!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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# Oh, we'll all have a jolly good time

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# With the dame in the pantomime

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# For she is the one who will start off the fun

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# And the hero is always our favourite son

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-# Robin Hood

-Aladdin

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-# Prince Charming

-And Jack

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# Tell their stories in song and in rhyme

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# It's the time of the year when the children all cheer

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# For the dame in the pantomime

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# For the dame in the pantomime

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# Let's have a song about the boys

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# About the boys, about the boys

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# Beanstalk Jack

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# And Prince Charming

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# Aladdin and his lantern

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# Dashing Robin Hood

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# Yes! Let's have a song about the boys

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# About the boys

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# Oh, aren't they joys?

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# Altogether let's make the rafters ring

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# And let's have a song about the boys. #

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Woo!

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Jack And The Beanstalk!

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Aladdin!

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APPLAUSE

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Robin Hood!

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APPLAUSE

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Prince Charming!

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APPLAUSE

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# Let's have a song about the boys

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# About the boys

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# Oh, aren't they joys?

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# Altogether let's make the rafters ring

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# As we all join in and sing

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# Yes, we have no bananas

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# We have no bananas today

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# We've string beans and onions, carrots and scallions

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# And all kinds of fruit, and say

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# We have an old-fashioned tomato

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# A nice, juicy potato

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# But, yes, we have no bananas

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# We have no bananas today

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# There ain't no sense sitting on the fence

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# All by yourself in the moonlight

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# There ain't no thriller by the watermill

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# All by yourself in the moonlight

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# There ain't no fun sitting beneath the trees

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# Giving yourself a hug and giving yourself a squeeze

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# Life's a farce sitting on the grass

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# All by yourself in the moonlight... #

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DAMES GIGGLE

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# Horsey, keep your tail up

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# Keep your tail up Keep your tail up

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# Oh, horsey, keep your tail up

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# Why don't you make it rise?

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# All the horses in the fair keep their tails up in the air

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# So, horsey, keep your tail up

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# Keep the sun out of my eyes

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# Keep the sun out of my eyes

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# Give yourself a pat on the back, pat on the back, pat on the back

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# And say to yourselves You've still got your health

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# Have a good day today

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# Yesterday was full of troubles and sorrow

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# But nobody knows what's going to happen tomorrow

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# So, give yourself a pat on the back

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# Pat on the back, pat on the back

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# And say to yourself you've still got your health

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# Have a good day today

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# Have a good day, have a good day

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# Have a good Have a good day today. #

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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-Ineffably ineluctable...

-Ooh!

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..that numinous nenuphar of nubility,

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ever adorable, Miss Eira Heath.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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# Joshua courted Miss May

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# To be correct, I should say

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# She courted him for he was so shy

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# Dare not say boo although no-one knew why

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# They walked out for months and for months

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# But he never asked her to wed

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# They'd sit hand-in-hand where soft shadows fall

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# He'd sit there for hours and say nothing at all

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# So one night May blushingly said

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# Joshua, Joshua

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# Why don't you call and see Mama?

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# She'll be pleased to know

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# You are my best beau

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# Joshua, Joshua

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# Nicer than lemon squash you are

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# Yes, by gosh you are

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# Joshua, you are. #

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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# In the gloaming

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# Oh, my darling

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# When the lights are dim and low

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# And the quiet shadows, falling

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# Softly come and softly go

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# When the winds are sobbing faintly

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# With a gentle, unknown woe

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# Will you think of me and love me

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# As you did once, long ago?

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# In the gloaming

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# Oh, my darling

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# Think not bitterly of me

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# Though I passed away in silence

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# Left you lonely, set you free

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# For my heart was crushed with longing

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# What had been could never be

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# It was best to leave you thus, dear

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# Best for you, and best for me

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# It was best to leave you thus

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# Best for you

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# And best for me. #

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Germany contributes to our cosmopolitan charivari...

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Ooh.

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..mishmash.

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The diverting dynamism of devious diaboloese

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Perkano and Christina!

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BANG PLAYS UPBEAT SWING MUSIC

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BAND PLAYS SING SING SING (WITH A SWING)

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APPLAUSE

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APPLAUSE

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APPLAUSE

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LOUD BANG

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APPLAUSE

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All the way from the United States of America,

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magniloquent in miraculously mellifluous masculinity...

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Ooh!

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..Mr Robert White!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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# Sylvia's hair is like the night

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# Touched with glancing starry beams

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# Such a face as drifts through dreams

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# This is Sylvia to the sight

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# And the touch of Sylvia's hand

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# Is as light as milkweed down

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# When the meads are golden brown

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# And the autumn fills the land

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# Sylvia, just the echoing

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# Of her voice brings back to me

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# From the depths of memory

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# All the loveliness of spring

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# Sylvia!

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# Sylvia!

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# Such a face as drifts through dreams

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# This is Sylvia to the sight. #

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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# Oh, Danny Boy

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# The pipes, the pipes are calling

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# From glen to glen

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# And down the mountain side

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# The summer's gone

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# And all the roses falling

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# Tis you, tis you, must go

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# And I must bide

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# But come ye back when summer's in the meadow

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# Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow

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# I'll be here

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# In sunshine or in shadow

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# Oh, Danny Boy

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# Oh, Danny Boy

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# I love you so

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# If when you come

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# And all the flowers are dying

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# If I am dead

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# As dead I well may be

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# You'll come and find the place where I am lying

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# And kneel and say an "Ave" for me

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# And I shall hear though soft you tread above me

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# And all my grave will warm and sweeter be

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# For you will bend

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# And tell me that you love me

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# And I shall sleep in peace

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# Until you come to me. #

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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APPLAUSE AND MUSIC

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Juvenility...

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And nonpareil necromancy...

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WHOOPING

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Magic.

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Our youngest ever magician,

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Mr Russ Stevens!

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INTRODUCTION MUSIC AND APPLAUSE

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CYMBALS CLASH

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GENTLE APPLAUSE

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CYMBALS CLASH

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APPLAUSE

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DRUMROLL

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CYMBALS

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APPLAUSE

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DRUMROLL

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APPLAUSE

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GENTLE APPLAUSE

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DRUMROLL AND CYMBALS

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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DRUMROLL

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CYMBALS AND APPLAUSE

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APPLAUSE CONTINUES

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MUSIC STOPS AND DRUMROLL

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MAGICIAN CRIES OUT

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APPLAUSE AND MUSIC

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MUSIC STOPS AND DRUMROLL

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Ha!

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APPLAUSE

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MUSIC RESUMES

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MUSIC STOPS AND DRUMROLL

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Ha!

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APPLAUSE AND MUSIC RESUMES

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Vital, vibrant, velutinous...

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-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

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Velvety.

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Voluptuous, glorious, gorgeous!

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Miss Dolores Gray!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:100:26:12

# I've been away

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# For such a long time

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# I never thought I'd miss you so...

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# Somehow I feel

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# Your love is real

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# To Dixie

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# I long to go...

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# I'm Alabamy bound

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# Just see those Pullman porters hanging round

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# Just gave the meanest ticket man on earth

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# All I'm worth

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# To put my tootsies in an upper berth

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# Just hear that choo-choo sound

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# And soon I know we're gonna cover ground

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# And the world will know

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# Here I go

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# I'm Alabamy bound. #

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# Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina

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# In the morning

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# Nothing could be sweeter when my sweetie

0:27:390:27:42

# When I meet him

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# In the morning...

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# When the morning glories

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# Twine around the door

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# Telling me pretty stories

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# I long to hear once more

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# Strolling with your girlie

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# When the dew is pearly early in the morning

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# Butterflies will flutter up

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# And kiss each little buttercup

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# At dawning...

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# If I had Aladdin's lamp for only a day

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# I'd make a wish and here's what I'd say...

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# Nothing could be finer

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# Than to be in Carolina... #

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# Carolina Moon

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# Keep shining...

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# Shining on the one

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# Who waits for me

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# Carolina Moon

0:29:000:29:04

# I'm pining...

0:29:040:29:09

# Pining for the place

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# I long to be

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# How I'm hoping tonight

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# You'll go

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# Go to the right window

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# Scatter your light

0:29:240:29:26

# Say I'm all right

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# Please do...

0:29:280:29:32

# Tell him that I'm blue

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# And lonely...

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# Dreamy Carolina...

0:29:410:29:47

# Moon. #

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I'm going to sing for you now something

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that I learned from my grandmother,

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when I was a very small girl.

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She was from the South.

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And this little lullaby was something she learned

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in her home in Louisville, Kentucky.

0:30:060:30:08

# Lindy...

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# Did you hear the mockingbird

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# Sing last night?

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# Lindy, he was singin' sweet

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# In the pale moonlight

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# 'Neath the old magnolia tree

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# Burstin' his heart

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# With melody

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# Honey, he was singin'

0:30:380:30:42

# Of you...

0:30:420:30:44

# My Lindy Lou

0:30:440:30:47

# Lindy Lou

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# Lord, I'd lay right down and die

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# If I could be

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# That sweet wind

0:30:590:31:02

# Kissing you...

0:31:020:31:05

# My little Lindy

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# Lou... #

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# Rock-a-bye

0:31:200:31:23

# Your baby...

0:31:230:31:26

# With a Dixie...

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# Melody

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# When you croon

0:31:340:31:38

# Croon a tune

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# From the heart

0:31:420:31:44

# Of Dixie

0:31:440:31:48

# Just hang that cradle

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# Mammy mine

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# Right on that Mason-Dixon line...

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# And swing it from Virginia

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# To Tennessee with all the love that's in ya

0:32:090:32:14

# Weep No More My Lady, sing that song again for me

0:32:140:32:22

# Soft and low, just as though you had me on your knee

0:32:240:32:32

# A million baby kisses I'll deliver

0:32:330:32:38

# If you will only play that Swanee River

0:32:380:32:43

# Rock-a-bye your rock-a-bye-baby with a Dixie melody... #

0:32:430:32:50

Everybody!

0:32:500:32:52

# Weep No More My Lady, sing that song again for me

0:32:520:33:00

# Soft and low, just as though you had me on your knee

0:33:010:33:09

# A million baby kisses I'll deliver

0:33:100:33:15

# If you will only sing that Swanee River

0:33:150:33:19

# Rock-a-bye your rock-a-bye-baby with a Dixie melody. #

0:33:190:33:36

Plenitudinously, unpredictable in a proliferation

0:34:110:34:18

of protean propensities,

0:34:180:34:22

the one and only Mr Roy Castle.

0:34:220:34:26

LAUGHTER

0:34:530:34:54

What a start, dummy!

0:34:570:34:58

# It's the biggest candle snuffer in the world... #

0:35:000:35:05

Thank you very much indeed, thank you.

0:35:060:35:09

I hope you've enjoyed it, thank you.

0:35:090:35:11

Something to tide me over the New Year, thank you very much.

0:35:110:35:14

Thank you, thank you very much, wonderful.

0:35:160:35:19

It's an Alpine horn, this, played in the Swiss Alps.

0:35:190:35:22

A good place to hear it from.

0:35:220:35:24

Right, you've got to be careful you don't get a blowback with this.

0:35:250:35:30

Anybody wearing large hats can pick them up at the back of the theatre

0:35:300:35:33

after the show.

0:35:330:35:34

OK, this is it, then.

0:35:360:35:37

Look at this, she's holding on to hers.

0:35:390:35:43

Would you like to draw the raffle?

0:35:430:35:44

HORN TOOTS

0:35:500:35:52

I'm the only person who can, this year,

0:35:540:35:57

start a tune going through this end and next year it will

0:35:570:36:01

start coming out that end.

0:36:010:36:03

In fact, I would like to play a duet.

0:36:130:36:15

This is a very large...

0:36:150:36:16

This is a very long instrument as you can see.

0:36:180:36:22

Few people know that Mr Bernard Herrmann,

0:36:220:36:25

our esteemed conductor here, is a fine musician.

0:36:250:36:28

He doesn't just waggle that stick around, you know.

0:36:280:36:30

He can in fact play one, can't you?

0:36:300:36:33

Look at that, look at that.

0:36:340:36:36

Anybody know what that is?

0:36:360:36:38

A whistle?

0:36:380:36:39

I wish you were a golf ball and this was a mashie.

0:36:400:36:44

He called it a whistle!

0:36:440:36:46

It's a piccolo.

0:36:460:36:49

-Shout it out.

-A piccolo.

-See.

0:36:490:36:51

You're not working him, are you?

0:36:510:36:53

Let's play a duet.

0:36:550:36:56

I think an Alpine horn and piccolo duet should be a record,

0:36:560:36:59

don't you think so?

0:36:590:37:01

OK, I'll have to come down here.

0:37:020:37:04

You don't mind me coming down here, do you?

0:37:050:37:08

I'm going to have to sit down here. You don't mind that, do you?

0:37:080:37:11

Are you all right?

0:37:110:37:12

I'll drive the theatre round.

0:37:180:37:20

BAR TOOTS

0:37:220:37:24

CHEERING

0:37:240:37:26

Come on, Bernard, we're going to have to

0:37:330:37:35

get this thing on the ground.

0:37:350:37:37

OK, here we go now. I'll start you off.

0:37:370:37:40

We're going to play The Long And The Short And The Tall.

0:37:400:37:43

MUSIC: Bless 'Em All by Robert Kewley

0:37:440:37:47

You've got your stick now.

0:38:240:38:25

What I would like to do is a dance challenge with you. OK.

0:38:250:38:28

Can you just remove that please?

0:38:280:38:31

That's it, I'm going to play this next.

0:38:310:38:34

OK, I'll start you off, and then it's up to you.

0:38:340:38:37

Whatever you play, I'll dance to. How about this? Here is the tempo.

0:38:370:38:40

# I could have danced all night

0:38:480:38:50

# I could have danced all night

0:38:500:38:52

# And still have begged for more

0:38:520:38:56

# I could have spread my wings

0:38:560:38:57

# And done a thousand things

0:38:570:39:00

# I've never done before

0:39:000:39:03

# I'll never know what made it so exciting

0:39:030:39:07

# But all at once my heart took flight

0:39:070:39:10

# I only know when she began to dance with me

0:39:110:39:15

# I could have danced, danced, danced

0:39:150:39:17

# Could have danced, danced, danced

0:39:170:39:19

# Could have danced, danced, danced all night. #

0:39:190:39:22

# Happy feet, I've got those happy feet

0:39:490:39:52

# Give them a low-down beat

0:39:520:39:54

# And they begin dancing

0:39:540:39:56

# I've got those ten little tapping toes

0:39:560:39:59

# When they hear a tune I can't control

0:39:590:40:02

# My dancing heels to save my soul

0:40:020:40:04

# Weary blues can't get into my shoes

0:40:040:40:07

# Because my shoes refuse to ever grow weary

0:40:070:40:11

# I'm cheerful with an earful of music sweet

0:40:110:40:15

# Cos I've got hap-hap-happy feet. #

0:40:150:40:17

Ole!

0:40:360:40:37

Hello, can I borrow this?

0:40:380:40:40

Ole! Ha! Ha!

0:40:410:40:43

-FRANK SPENCER VOICE:

-All right, let the bulls in.

0:40:450:40:48

Hey, toro!

0:40:580:41:00

-FALSETTO:

-# I should have danced all night

0:41:270:41:31

# I should have danced all night

0:41:310:41:35

-CROAKILY:

-# And never begged for more

0:41:350:41:42

# I should have spread my wings

0:41:420:41:44

# And done a thousand things

0:41:440:41:46

# I've never done before

0:41:460:41:49

# I'll never know what made it so exciting

0:41:490:41:53

# But all at once my heart took flight

0:41:530:41:57

# I only know when she began to dance with me

0:41:570:42:00

# I could have danced, danced, danced

0:42:000:42:03

# Could have danced, danced, danced

0:42:030:42:04

# Could have danced, danced, danced all night. #

0:42:040:42:10

Celebrating spectacularly with our own, our very own, Players' Theatre.

0:42:360:42:44

APPLAUSE

0:42:440:42:46

# Come with me, come to the ball, music and merriment call

0:42:520:43:00

# Golden and gay are the lamps above, every tune is a song of love

0:43:000:43:08

# All of you come to the ball

0:43:080:43:12

# There will be welcome for all

0:43:120:43:16

# Chance for a dance and romance

0:43:160:43:19

# At the ball, at the ball

0:43:190:43:24

# We'll have oysters and wine at 2am

0:43:240:43:28

# 2am, 2am

0:43:280:43:32

# Oysters and wine at 2am

0:43:320:43:36

# Oysters and wine at 2

0:43:360:43:40

# Oysters and wine at 2. #

0:43:400:43:45

# Champagne Charlie is my name

0:43:470:43:51

# Champagne drinking is my game

0:43:510:43:55

# Let's all have a glass of fizz, fizz, fizz

0:43:550:43:59

# I'll drink anything there is, is, is

0:43:590:44:03

# Champagne Charlie is my name

0:44:030:44:07

# Champagne drinking is my game

0:44:070:44:10

# Good for any game at night, boys

0:44:100:44:14

# Who'll come and join us on a spree?

0:44:140:44:17

# Clicquot, Clicquot

0:44:180:44:20

# That's the stuff to make you jolly

0:44:200:44:22

# Clicquot, Clicquot

0:44:220:44:24

# Soon we'll banish melancholy

0:44:240:44:25

# Clicquot, Clicquot

0:44:250:44:27

# Drinking other wine is folly

0:44:270:44:29

# Clicquot, Clicquot

0:44:290:44:31

# That's the drink for me. #

0:44:310:44:33

# Good wines if you can afford them

0:44:330:44:34

# Tra-la-la-la-la-la

0:44:340:44:36

# Soon do away with boredom

0:44:360:44:38

# Tra-la-la-la-la-la

0:44:380:44:40

# Champagne will make you glad some

0:44:400:44:41

# I know because I've had some

0:44:410:44:43

# A rosy glow inside you

0:44:430:44:45

# The conscience left behind you

0:44:450:44:47

# A toast, a toast

0:44:470:44:49

# Together, glasses raised

0:44:490:44:51

# Join with us in praising the one we love the most

0:44:510:44:54

# A toast, a toast, a toast. #

0:44:540:44:58

# Champagne is the wine that flows and sings

0:44:580:45:00

# King of wine and wine of kings

0:45:000:45:02

# Seek the drink that sparkle brings

0:45:020:45:04

# La-la-la-la, champagne... #

0:45:040:45:05

Direct from Paris, formidable, farouche, frenetique,

0:45:240:45:32

Monsieur Michel Arene and company.

0:45:320:45:36

# It was after all the most exquisite ball

0:50:120:50:15

# The music, the dancing, the hall was divine

0:50:150:50:19

# I could waltz day and night in a world of delight

0:50:190:50:23

# If partners were all like that last one of mine

0:50:230:50:27

# If partners were all like that last one of mine

0:50:270:50:31

# I could waltz day and night in a world of delight

0:50:310:50:35

# If partners were all like that last one of mine

0:50:350:50:39

# If partners were all like that last one of mine. #

0:50:390:50:45

# When you come to the end of a perfect day

0:50:520:50:59

# And you sit alone with your thoughts

0:50:590:51:07

# While the sun goes down with a flaming ray

0:51:070:51:14

# To think what the day has brought

0:51:140:51:21

# Do you think what the end of a perfect day

0:51:210:51:29

# Can mean to a tired heart

0:51:290:51:36

# While the chimes ring out with a carol gay

0:51:360:51:43

# And the dear friends have to part

0:51:430:51:52

# Well, this is the end of a perfect day

0:51:520:52:01

# Near the end of a journey, too

0:52:010:52:07

# But it leaves a thought that is big and strong

0:52:070:52:15

# With a wish that is kind and true

0:52:150:52:22

# For memory has painted this perfect day

0:52:220:52:30

# With colours that never fade

0:52:300:52:38

# And we find at the end of a perfect day

0:52:380:52:46

# The soul of a friend we've made. #

0:52:460:52:54

# Should old acquaintance be forgot

0:53:110:53:14

# And never brought to mind?

0:53:140:53:19

# Should old acquaintance be forgot

0:53:190:53:24

# For the sake of auld lang syne?

0:53:240:53:29

# For auld lang syne, my dear

0:53:290:53:33

# For auld lang syne

0:53:330:53:38

# We'll take a cup of kindness yet

0:53:380:53:43

# For the sake of auld lang syne

0:53:430:53:48

# For auld lang syne, my dear

0:53:480:53:53

# For auld lang syne

0:53:530:53:59

# We'll take a cup of kindness yet

0:53:590:54:04

# For the sake of auld lang syne. #

0:54:040:54:12

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