25/01/1979 The Good Old Days


25/01/1979

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Transcript


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# Let's all go to the music hall

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# Where the songs are gay and bright

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# Let's all go to the music hall

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# Where the stars are twinkling half the night

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# Whether you're in the gallery, the circle or the pit

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# Or whether you sit in the red, plush stalls

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# Oh, let's all go to the music hall tonight

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# Let's all go to the hall! #

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# Hoorah, 'tis the morning

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# To the course we made our way

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# Lords and ladies, lads and lasses

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# All appealing, bright and gay. #

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# It's nice and warm, I think that we should have a lovely day

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# Very, very warm for May

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# Eighty in the shade, they say Just fancy!

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# It almost looks as though the sun has really come to stay

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# Oh, what very charming weather

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# It's nice and warm, I think that we should have a lovely day

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# Very, very warm for May

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# Eighty in the shade, they say Just fancy!

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# It almost looks as though the sun has really come to stay

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# Oh, what very charming weather. #

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ENSEMBLE TALK AMONGST THEMSELVES

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# Back your fancy, back your fancy, come and have a gamble

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# But look at the price just once or twice before you join the scramble

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# Wait until your chicks are hatched before you count them up

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# There's many a slip between the tip

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# And the horse that wins the cup! #

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# Put me amongst the girls

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# Put me amongst the girls

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# Do me a favour

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# Do you know I'd do the same for you?

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# If you would put me amongst the girls

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# Oh, the ones with the curly curls

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# They'll enjoy themselves and so will I

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# Oh, put me amongst the girls... #

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# If you would put me amongst the girls. #

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Thank you!

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# The horses are out, see, there they go

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# The fun is about to start, and so

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# We hustle and screw to get a good view

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# Or storm a position for seeing the show

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# The sun is there, he takes a stand with business-like air, flag in hand

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# He's lining them up to run for the cup

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# He's lining them up to run for the cup!

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# His orders are curt - oh, isn't it grand?

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# Isn't it grand?

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# They're off, they're off, the race begins, and everyone grips the rail

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# I hope the favourite wins

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# The chestnut can unveil

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# Faster, faster, oh, what a race!

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# Now number seven is through.

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# I think he'll win if he keeps up the pace!

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# And look at that jockey in blue!

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# He certainly knows how to ride

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# Galloping, galloping, galloping, galloping, now we go into the slate

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# I can't see Dandy Dick

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# There he is, he's number eight

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# Galloping, galloping, nearly there

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# The favourite's running away

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He's up by a leg, he's nearly there, hooray, hooray, hooray

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# He's up by a leg, he's nearly there, hooray, hooray, hooray! #

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ALL: Hooray!

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APPLAUSE

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Once again, good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

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-AUDIENCE:

-Good evening!

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And very especially tonight to the lady and gentleman who've come

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all the way from Norway just to see the show, up there.

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APPLAUSE

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Phraseologically flamboyant,

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in fulsome, in comiastic eulogies.

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Flaunting preliminary in the players' set, Mr Norman Vaughan.

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This time in Blarneying buffoonery, Mr Pat Mooney.

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APPLAUSE

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Fantastic. Lovely to see yous all.

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I'm sorry about the suit.

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It'll be all right when it's ripe.

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Pat said to Mick, "Can you count?"

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He says, "Of course I can. One, two, three, four, five."

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He says, "Can you count any higher?"

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He says, "Yes. One, two, three, four, five."

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Dafties!

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Murphy was working on a building site and the slate fell off the roof

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and cut his ear off.

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And all the lads are looking in the rubble, and the sand, and the cement

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for Murphy's ear.

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Robert, he says, "'Ere, there's an ear 'ere, Murphy. Is that your ear?"

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Murphy says, "No, mine's got a pencil behind it."

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Pat and Mick are in a big pub having a drink,

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and there's a big mirror along one wall.

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And Pat looks over to the mirror and he says,

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"Jesus, Mick, there's a fellow over there the image of you."

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And Mick looks over to the mirror and he says,

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"How's that for a coincidence. Look at the fellow beside him."

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Pat looks over, he says,

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"Jesus, he's all right. I'll get up and get them a drink."

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And as he stood up, Mick said,

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"Sit down, I think they're coming over."

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He was driving Mick down the road in his old car the other day,

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and he went right through a set of red lights.

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Mick says, "You've just gone through a set of red lights."

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He says, "Don't panic. Murphy does it all the time."

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They went through the next set of red lights.

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He says, "That's two sets of red lights you've gone through. Are you trying to kill the pair of us?"

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He says, "Don't panic. Murphy does it all the time."

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The next lights were on green,

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and he stopped the car and put the brakes on.

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He says, "You've just gone through two sets of red lights. What are you stopping at the green ones for?"

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He says, "Precautions. Murphy might be coming the other way."

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He opened a fish and chip shop,

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and an Englishman walks in and he says, "Fish and chips, twice".

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And Murphy said, "I heard you the first time."

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He walked into a plumber's. He said, "I'd like to buy a bath."

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The plumber says, "Would you like a plug with it?"

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He says, "Why, is it electric?"

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This is true - he went to France for his holidays,

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walks in the biggest casino in Monte Carlo.

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The governor met him at the door and says, "Bonsoir, Monsieur Murphy."

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He had his wellies on, you see, at the time.

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He says, "You wish to gamble? Would you like to gamble, monsieur?"

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He says, "Roulette, monsieur?"

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"Not roulette, sir, I can't count up to 36."

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He says, "Chemin de fer?"

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He says, "No, I was at the Puck Fair last week, sir, no, no."

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He says, "Ho-ho-ho, all we have left for you is dominoes."

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He says, "I like that game, that's the game with the spots, isn't it, dominoes? I like that game."

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He says, "Monsieur, here in Monte Carlo,

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"every spot on the dominoes is 18-carat diamonds. You will like this game."

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And he sits down with all these millionaire Frenchmen playing

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dominoes with 18-carat diamond spots,

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and he's losing all his money,

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and he's down to his last couple of francs and he thinks to himself,

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"I'm not going home broke,"

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and he flicks one of these dominoes into his welly.

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And he hobbles all the way back to his hotel

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and when he got it out, it was a double blank!

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Oh, you're a joy.

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Look at the styles here tonight. Where are you all from?

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Where are you from, love? Where do you come from?

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-Prestwich.

-Prestwich!

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Are you? Did you read the papers this morning about Prestwich?

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They've just done worldwide statistics on women.

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They've found out that 90% of the women of Prestwich

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are unfaithful to their husbands. How about that?

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And the 10% who are faithful to their husbands

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so impressed the Archbishop of Canterbury,

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he sent them all a letter of congratulations each.

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Wasn't that nice of him? Wasn't it?

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Do you know what it said in the letter?

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Didn't you get one?

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Oh!

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Sorry about that. It's been lovely, back with you again here.

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This is lovely, being here with you all.

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I'd like to leave you all with a thought to go home with tonight -

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never put off till tomorrow what you can do tonight,

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because if you do it tonight, and you like it,

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you can do it again tomorrow!

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Goodnight, God bless you! Thank you!

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IRISH MELODY

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I must say, the hats are... orchidaceous tonight!

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-AUDIENCE:

-Oooh!

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Not very much decollete,

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the show is really more millinery than naval, isn't it?

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A superlative distillation

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-of coruscating descant...

-Oooh!

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..and dithyrambic deliquescence.

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Ladies and gentlemen, for your delight,

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Maryetta and Vernon Midgley!

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APPLAUSE

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MUSIC STARTS

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# Lovely night O, night of love

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# Within your stillness lies

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# Moon and stars in heaven above

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# Sweet rapture o'er us shed

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# Time will pass and joy will fade

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# For love is ne'er undying

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# Life is but of sorrow made

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# The day that love is dead

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-# O, gently wafting breeze

-O, gently wafting breeze

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-# Fan our cheeks with your kiss

-Fan our cheeks

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-# O, gently wafting breeze

-O, gently wafting breeze

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-# Fan our cheeks with your kiss

-Fan our cheeks

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-# Fan our cheeks

-Fan our cheeks

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-# With a kiss

-With a kiss

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-# Oo-oo-ooh

-Oo-oo-ooh

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# O, lovely night, O, night of love

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# Within your stillness lies

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# Moon and stars in heaven above

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# Sweet rapture o'er us shed

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# O, night of love

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-# O, night of love

-O, night of love

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# O, lovely night

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# O, night of love. #

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THEY VOCALISE IN HARMONY

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THEY HOLD HIGH NOTE

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APPLAUSE

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MUSIC RESTARTS

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# I remember

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# I remember

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# I remember how we loved our lovely day

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# I was never kissed before

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# In that kind of way

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# If you kiss me any more

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# I should run away

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# We must part, but, oh, my heart

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# With you will remain

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# I was never kissed before

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# So kiss me once again

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# In September when the grapes are purple

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# Marguerite pick the grapes with me

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# There are silver bells upon her fingers

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# All the little birds come out to see

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# Ma belle Marguerite

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# So beautiful to see

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# Les mains de ma petite

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# Marguerite picking grapes with me

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# Ting-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling- a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-ay

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# Ting-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling- a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-ay

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# Ting-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling- a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-ay

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# Ting-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling- a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-ay

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# In September when the grapes are purple

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# Marguerite picking grapes with me

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# There are silver bells upon her fingers

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# Marguerite picking the grapes with me-e-e-e

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# Marguerite picking grapes with me. #

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APPLAUSE

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# This is my lovely day

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# This is the day I shall remember

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# The day I'm dying

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# They can't take this away

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# It will be always mine

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# The sun and the wine

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# The sea birds crying

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# All happiness must pay

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# And who can tell if fate means well

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# Or the sky is lying

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# But look at me and say

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# You will remember too

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# That was our lovely day

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# I'll remember

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# I'll remember

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# When the time has come for happiness to pay

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# Sad and sighing

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# Old and dying

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# I'll remember how we loved

0:17:470:17:52

# Our lovely day

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# Our lovely day

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# Our lovely...

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# da-a-a-ay. #

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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From tartily...

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That doesn't mean what you think it means, sir(!)

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Scintillant in intriguing, esoteric intrepidity...

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-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

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..of equilibristic equipoise.

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-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

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Balancing.

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Tchenguiz!

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APPLAUSE

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MUSIC PLAYS

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APPLAUSE

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APPLAUSE

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APPLAUSE

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APPLAUSE

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APPLAUSE

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For the first time in this programme,

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that twinkling, terpsichorean...

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AUDIENCE LAUGHS

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Dancing.

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For the feet(!)

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LAUGHTER

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..troubadour, Mr Benny Garcia!

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APPLAUSE

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# In days of yore, before the war when hearts now old were young

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# At home each night by firelight those dear old songs were sung

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# Sweet melodies, their memories around my heart still cling

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# That's why I long to hear a song like grandma used to sing

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# California here I come, hey

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# Right back where I started from

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# Where bowers are flowers bloom in the spring

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# Each morning at dawning birdies sing and everything

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# A sun kissed miss said "Don't be late!"

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# That's why I can hardly wait

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# Come on and open up your Golden Gate

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# California, here I come

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# Come on and open up your Golden Gate

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# California, here I come

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Hey!

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# Come on and hear, come on and hear

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# Alexander's Ragtime Band

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# Come on and hear, come on and hear

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# It's the best band in the land

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# They can play a bugle call like you never heard before

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# So natural that you want to go to war

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# It's just the bestest band that am, oh, my honey lamb

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# Come on along, come on along

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# Let me take you by the hand

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# Up to the man, I said the man, who's the leader of the band

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# And if you care to hear the Swanee River played in rag-time

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# Come on and hear, come on and hear

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# Alexander's Ragtime Band

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# And if you want to hear the Swanee River played in rag-time

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# Come on and hear, come on and hear

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# Alexander's Ragtime Band

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# Does your mother know you're out

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# Cecilia

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# Does she know that I'm about

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# To steal ya?

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# Oh, my, when I look in your eyes

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# Something tells me

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# You and I should get together

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# How's about a little kiss

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# Cecilia?

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# Oh, just a kiss you'll never miss

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# Cecilia

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# Oh, why should we two

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# Keep on wasting time?

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# Hey, oh, Cecilia, won't you please be mine?

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# Now why should we two

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# Keep on wasting time?

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# Oh, Cecilia, won't you, please

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# Oh, Cecilia, come on, please

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# Oh, Cecilia, won't you please be mine? #

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Hey!

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APPLAUSE

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Your traditional warmth of welcome and perhaps more for the

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youngest ever performer in this programme.

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Ladies and gentlemen, Little Miss Rosa Michelle!

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APPLAUSE

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# Take my head on your shoulder, Daddy

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# Turn your face to the west

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# It is just the hour the skies turns gold

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# The hour that mother loves best

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# The day has been long without you, Daddy

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# You've been such a while away

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# And are you tired of your work, Daddy

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# As I am tired of my play?

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# But I've got you and you've got me

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# Though everything is gone

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# We're all alone, sweet Daddy

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# Poor Mother, dear Mother

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# Once told me so

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# But year by year she'll think of you

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# Those thoughts may all be right

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# We shall always keep her

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# Here in our dreams

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# Daddy, goodnight

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# Daddy, goodnight

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# Dear Daddy

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# Dear Daddy

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# Goodnight

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# Good...

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# ..night. #

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APPLAUSE

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Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Keith Harris!

0:31:370:31:41

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:31:410:31:45

Thank you very, very much, ladies and gentlemen.

0:31:470:31:49

What about that number, Little Rosa? Wasn't that sad, eh? Aah!

0:31:490:31:52

AUDIENCE SIGHS

0:31:520:31:54

Never mind, because actually I've got somebody here who's just as sad.

0:31:540:31:57

His name is Orville. He's very shy.

0:31:570:31:58

I'll get him to turn around and have a look.

0:31:580:32:00

Will you turn around and have a look?

0:32:000:32:02

-ORVILLE:

-I can't.

0:32:020:32:04

-I beg your pardon?

-I can't.

0:32:040:32:06

LAUGHTER

0:32:060:32:08

-You can't?

-No.

0:32:080:32:10

-Why not?

-Cos they'll laugh at me.

0:32:100:32:13

I don't think they'll laugh after that last song.

0:32:130:32:16

Look, they won't laugh at you. They're very nice people.

0:32:160:32:18

-Come on, turn round and have a look.

-I'll have a look then.

0:32:180:32:21

-Have a look.

-I will.

-Go on.

0:32:210:32:24

-AUDIENCE:

-Aww!

0:32:240:32:26

-There, you see.

-They're laughing now.

-Oh, they're not.

0:32:260:32:29

-They are. I heard them.

-Yes, I know, but, you see, they're laughing...

0:32:290:32:34

-I heard them.

-Yes, I know, but they're not laughing AT you.

0:32:340:32:39

-No.

-No, you see, it's because you're on the stage.

0:32:390:32:42

You came here last time, you had a nice time, didn't you?

0:32:420:32:44

-Yes, thank you.

-That's right.

0:32:440:32:47

Yes, but if you remember last time we came to this theatre,

0:32:470:32:50

you had a chip on your shoulder.

0:32:500:32:53

-I didn't.

-You did.

0:32:530:32:55

-I didn't.

-You did.

-I didn't.

0:32:550:32:58

You did.

0:32:580:33:00

You had a chick on your shoulder.

0:33:000:33:03

Me.

0:33:030:33:06

I didn't say a chick. I said a chip.

0:33:060:33:09

-Oh.

-Yes.

0:33:090:33:11

Now, listen, you were watching before in the wings, weren't you?

0:33:110:33:14

-I've got wings.

-Yes, I know you've got wings.

0:33:140:33:17

-I've got wings, you know.

-Yes, I know.

0:33:170:33:20

I've got wings, you know.

0:33:200:33:21

LAUGHTER

0:33:210:33:23

You were watching... What were you watching?

0:33:230:33:26

-Little girl singing.

-That's right.

0:33:260:33:29

-Did you like her?

-Yes.

-Did you?

-Yes.

0:33:290:33:31

And you said you would like to meet her

0:33:310:33:34

-because she wasn't very happy, was she?

-No.

0:33:340:33:37

Would you like to meet Rosa?

0:33:370:33:40

I-I get shy when I see Rosa.

0:33:400:33:43

-What, Rosa Michelle?

-No, "Rosa" people looking at me!

0:33:430:33:47

LAUGHTER

0:33:470:33:48

I get shy.

0:33:480:33:50

Look, I tell you what, because she wasn't very happy,

0:33:500:33:52

-so if we bring her on...

-Yes.

-..you can meet her

0:33:520:33:55

and it will make you happy and it would make her happy, wouldn't it?

0:33:550:33:57

-Thank you.

-All right. I'll tell you what, we'll just call her on.

0:33:570:34:01

-Rosa.

-Oh, she's there.

-Hello, come and sit down here.

0:34:010:34:05

APPLAUSE

0:34:050:34:07

-Is she here?

-Yeah, she's here.

-Oh, I can't look!

0:34:110:34:14

-Now, Rosa, this is Orville.

-Hello, Orville.

0:34:140:34:19

Hello, Ro... Oh, I can't!

0:34:190:34:21

-I feel silly.

-It's all right. Look, we've got to try and cheer her up.

0:34:210:34:24

She's very, very pretty, you know.

0:34:240:34:27

I wish I was pretty.

0:34:270:34:29

-Well, you are pretty.

-I'm ugly.

0:34:290:34:31

-I'm ugly, aren't I, Rosa?

-You're not ugly. I think you're lovely.

0:34:310:34:35

Ooh!

0:34:350:34:36

LAUGHTER

0:34:360:34:38

-You think I'm lovely?

-Yes, he is, isn't he?

0:34:380:34:41

-AUDIENCE:

-Yes.

0:34:410:34:43

-There you are.

-Oh, thank you.

0:34:430:34:45

Now, listen, what were you telling me before?

0:34:480:34:50

Rosa, you know when you sang your song, well, it made me cry.

0:34:500:34:55

-I made you cry?

-Yes.

0:34:550:34:57

I didn't mean to.

0:34:570:34:59

-Well you did cos you sang about your daddy, didn't she?

-That's right.

0:34:590:35:03

And I haven't got a daddy.

0:35:030:35:05

-AUDIENCE:

-Aah!

0:35:050:35:07

And I haven't got a mummy.

0:35:070:35:10

-AUDIENCE:

-Aah!

0:35:100:35:11

And I haven't got a grandad or a granny, any of them.

0:35:110:35:14

-AUDIENCE:

-Aah!

0:35:140:35:16

-I haven't got anybody.

-Aah.

0:35:160:35:20

Keep it up!

0:35:200:35:22

LAUGHTER

0:35:220:35:24

-No antecedents?

-Pardon?

0:35:240:35:26

-I said no antecedents.

-I haven't even got an Auntie Elsie.

0:35:260:35:30

LAUGHTER

0:35:300:35:32

Oh, dear, we're not doing a very good job cheering Rosa up, are we?

0:35:320:35:35

-No.

-Listen, you two must get together.

0:35:350:35:38

-You must always remember to smile.

-Yes.

0:35:380:35:40

Because you've got all the lovely people here and just remember...

0:35:400:35:44

What?

0:35:440:35:46

# Smile though your heart is aching

0:35:460:35:51

# Smile even though it's breaking

0:35:510:35:55

# When there are clouds in the sky

0:35:550:35:59

# You'll get by

0:35:590:36:03

# Smile through your tears and sorrow

0:36:030:36:07

# Smile and maybe tomorrow

0:36:070:36:10

# You'll see the sun come shining through

0:36:120:36:17

# For you

0:36:170:36:20

# Light up your face with gladness

0:36:200:36:24

# You've got to hide every trace of sadness

0:36:240:36:28

# Although a tear... #

0:36:280:36:31

Is she crying?

0:36:310:36:32

# May be ever so near

0:36:320:36:35

# That's the time you must keep on trying

0:36:350:36:39

# Smile, what's the use of crying?

0:36:410:36:44

# You'll find that life is still worthwhile

0:36:450:36:49

# If you just

0:36:500:36:54

# Smile. #

0:36:540:36:56

-Smile.

-That's it.

0:36:560:37:00

APPLAUSE

0:37:000:37:03

# Hey, hobo man

0:37:090:37:11

# Hey, Dapper Dan

0:37:110:37:13

# You've both got your style

0:37:130:37:15

# But, brother, you're never fully dressed without a smile

0:37:150:37:19

# Your clothes may be Beau Brummelly

0:37:220:37:25

# They stand out a mile

0:37:250:37:27

# But, brother, you're never fully dressed without a smile

0:37:270:37:32

# Who cares what they're wearing

0:37:340:37:37

# On Main Street or Saville Row

0:37:370:37:41

# It's what you wear from ear to ear

0:37:410:37:43

# And not from head to toe

0:37:430:37:47

# That matters

0:37:490:37:52

# Hey, hobo man

0:37:540:37:55

# Hey, Dapper Dan

0:37:550:37:57

# So remember, you're never fully dressed

0:37:570:38:02

# Though you may wear the best

0:38:020:38:06

# You're never fully dressed

0:38:060:38:09

# Without a smile

0:38:090:38:13

# Smile, smile

0:38:130:38:15

# Smile! #

0:38:190:38:21

APPLAUSE

0:38:210:38:24

Engagingly, ingratiating,

0:38:370:38:41

in gregarious...

0:38:410:38:43

from the Latin "grex",

0:38:430:38:47

..garrulity, none other than Mr Norman Vaughan!

0:38:470:38:52

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:38:540:38:56

Lovely.

0:39:020:39:05

Everybody...

0:39:050:39:06

# La, la, la-la. #

0:39:060:39:08

-Come on. AUDIENCE:

-# La, la, la-la, la-la

0:39:080:39:11

# La, la, la-la, la-la. #

0:39:110:39:13

# I thought it was great when I went on the stage

0:39:130:39:16

# About six-and-a-half months ago

0:39:160:39:20

# Cos everybody was so kind to me

0:39:200:39:23

# When they found out that I was a pro

0:39:230:39:27

# But a fire broke out in my lodgings one night

0:39:270:39:30

# And the firemen were there instantly

0:39:300:39:34

# They saved everybody right down to the cat

0:39:340:39:38

# But they never once tried to save me

0:39:380:39:41

# I dashed to the window and heard with dismay

0:39:410:39:45

# A big fire brigade captain to somebody say...

0:39:450:39:50

# "He's a pro, he's a pro

0:39:500:39:54

# "He'll do us a turn in a minute or so"

0:39:540:39:58

# I could feel myself cooking, my shirt was alight

0:39:580:40:02

# So I stood on the windowsill trembling with fright

0:40:020:40:06

# The firemen were laughing at me

0:40:060:40:09

# And I heard someone say down below

0:40:090:40:13

# "Let him do us a turn cos I don't think he'll burn

0:40:130:40:16

# "He's a pro, he's a pro." #

0:40:160:40:21

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:40:210:40:24

Yes, I've played them all.

0:40:330:40:34

The Palace, Halifax.

0:40:340:40:37

The Savoy, Kettlethorpe.

0:40:370:40:40

LAUGHTER

0:40:400:40:42

The Apothecary's Hall, Runcorn.

0:40:420:40:44

LAUGHTER

0:40:440:40:46

My grandfather was famous too, you know.

0:40:460:40:48

Oh, my grandfather went back to Marie Antoinette

0:40:480:40:51

and my grandmother caught him a couple of times!

0:40:510:40:53

LAUGHTER

0:40:530:40:55

40 years of happily married life and then he died.

0:40:570:41:00

-AUDIENCE:

-Aah.

0:41:000:41:02

After 40 years he died...

0:41:020:41:04

-AUDIENCE:

-Aah.

0:41:040:41:05

..and she wanted to get in touch with him

0:41:050:41:08

so she went to see all these spiritualists and mediums and

0:41:080:41:11

eventually one Thursday afternoon she was in the spiritualist's

0:41:110:41:14

and she heard his voice.

0:41:140:41:15

She said, "Henry, tell me, what's it like on the other side?"

0:41:150:41:18

He said, "It's fantastic."

0:41:200:41:23

LAUGHTER

0:41:270:41:29

He said, "This is the routine."

0:41:290:41:32

LAUGHTER

0:41:340:41:36

"We get up in the morning.

0:41:360:41:38

"We have a light salad breakfast,

0:41:400:41:44

"then we have a love-in all morning.

0:41:440:41:47

"Then we have a light salad lunch

0:41:490:41:52

"and we have a love-in all afternoon.

0:41:520:41:55

"Then we go to bed very early to get ready for the next day."

0:41:580:42:01

LAUGHTER

0:42:010:42:04

And she said,

0:42:040:42:05

"Henry, I didn't think they did things like that on the other side!"

0:42:050:42:09

He said, "Other side? I'm a rabbit in Harrogate!"

0:42:090:42:12

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:42:120:42:15

Thank you, Bernard.

0:42:230:42:25

-AUDIENCE:

-# La, la, la-la, la-la

0:42:250:42:27

# La, la, la-la, la-la

0:42:270:42:30

# I one time played in a swell music hall

0:42:300:42:33

# Where I thought I should make such a hit

0:42:330:42:37

# The band played my music, I dashed on the stage

0:42:370:42:40

# But a battle was on in the pit

0:42:400:42:42

# I started to sing All That I Ask Is Love

0:42:420:42:46

# I remember no more after that

0:42:460:42:49

# All That I Ask Is Love but the boys up above

0:42:490:42:52

# Gave me something more solid than that

0:42:520:42:55

# I woke in hospital the following day

0:42:550:42:58

# And I just recollect hearing somebody say...

0:42:580:43:03

# "He's a pro, he's a pro"

0:43:030:43:06

# "And the poor devil looks like one too", said Nurse Flo

0:43:060:43:10

# The doctor said, "Nurse, there's but one thing to do

0:43:100:43:13

# "We must operate on him to pull him right through"

0:43:130:43:17

# He said, "Nurse, do you think he'll hurt

0:43:170:43:20

# "If we starved him for 12 hours or so?"

0:43:200:43:24

# The nurse said, "Have no fears, he's been starving for years

0:43:240:43:27

# "He's a pro, he's a pro." #

0:43:270:43:31

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:43:310:43:34

Engendering nostalgia once again,

0:43:500:43:55

The Players Theatre!

0:43:550:43:57

APPLAUSE

0:43:570:44:00

# Here we are, here we are, here we are again

0:44:040:44:08

# There's Pat and Mac and Tommy and Jack and Joe

0:44:080:44:11

# When there's trouble brewing, when there's something doing

0:44:110:44:15

# Are we down hearted?

0:44:150:44:17

# No, let them all come

0:44:170:44:18

# Here we are, here we are, here we are again

0:44:180:44:22

# We're fit and well and feeling as right as rain

0:44:220:44:25

# Never mind the weather, now then, all together

0:44:250:44:29

# Hello, hello, here we are again

0:44:290:44:32

# So pack up your troubles in your old kit-bag

0:44:320:44:36

# And smile, smile, smile

0:44:360:44:39

# While you've a lucifer to light your fag

0:44:410:44:44

# Smile, boys, that's the style

0:44:440:44:47

# What's the use of worrying?

0:44:480:44:52

# It never was worthwhile, so

0:44:520:44:56

# Pack up your troubles in your old kit-bag

0:44:560:45:00

# And smile, smile, smile

0:45:000:45:03

# If you were the only girl in the world

0:45:040:45:10

# And you were the only boy

0:45:100:45:16

# Nothing else would matter in the world today

0:45:160:45:21

# We would go on loving in the same old way

0:45:210:45:26

# A Garden of Eden just made for two

0:45:260:45:32

# With nothing to mar our joy

0:45:320:45:36

# I would say such wonderful things to you

0:45:370:45:42

# There would be such wonderful things to do

0:45:420:45:48

# If you were the only girl in the world

0:45:480:45:53

# And you were the only boy

0:45:530:45:57

# And I was the only boy

0:45:590:46:04

# Goodbye-ee, goodbye-ee

0:46:100:46:12

# Goodbye-ee, goodbye-ee

0:46:160:46:20

# Wipe the tear, baby dear

0:46:220:46:27

# From your eye-ee

0:46:270:46:30

# It's a long way to Tipperary

0:46:340:46:39

# It's a long way to go

0:46:390:46:44

# It's a long way to Tipperary

0:46:440:46:49

# To the sweetest girl I know

0:46:490:46:53

# Goodbye, Piccadilly

0:46:540:46:58

# Farewell, Leicester Square

0:46:580:47:02

# It's a long long way to Tipperary

0:47:020:47:06

# But my heart's right there

0:47:060:47:10

# It's a long way to Tipperary

0:47:100:47:13

# It's a long way to go

0:47:130:47:17

# It's a long way to Tipperary

0:47:170:47:21

# To the sweetest girl I know

0:47:210:47:24

# Goodbye, Piccadilly

0:47:240:47:29

# Farewell, Leicester Square

0:47:290:47:32

# It's a long long way to Tipperary

0:47:320:47:36

# But my heart's right there. #

0:47:360:47:41

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:47:440:47:49

Now there's just time to ask Mr Norman Vaughan to lead the

0:47:580:48:01

company and yourselves in the last chorus for the night,

0:48:010:48:04

Down At The Old Bull And Bush.

0:48:040:48:06

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Norman Vaughan, the entire company,

0:48:060:48:09

Mr Bernard Herman and the entire and indefatigable orchestra.

0:48:090:48:13

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:48:130:48:15

But this time, chiefly, yourself!

0:48:150:48:20

# Come, come, come and make eyes at me down at the Old Bull and Bush,

0:48:240:48:30

# Da, da, da, da, da

0:48:300:48:31

# Come, come, drink some port wine with me

0:48:310:48:35

# Down at the Old Bull and Bush

0:48:350:48:38

# Hear the little German band, da, da, da, da, da, da-da

0:48:380:48:42

# Just let me hold your hand, dear

0:48:420:48:45

# Do, do come and have a drink or two

0:48:450:48:49

# Down at the Old Bull and Bush

0:48:490:48:52

# Bush, Bush! #

0:48:520:48:55

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:48:550:48:59

Leonard Sachs chairs the old-time music hall programme, first broadcast on 25 January 1979. Guests include Norman Vaughan, Maryetta Midgley, Keith Harris, Pat Mooney, Benny Garcia, Rosa Michelle, and performers from the Players' Theatre.


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