Browse content similar to 31/12/1980. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
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ORCHESTRA PLAYS INTRO TO LITTLE BROWN JUG | 0:00:02 | 0:00:06 | |
# Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee | 0:00:06 | 0:00:09 | |
# Little brown jug, don't I love thee | 0:00:09 | 0:00:11 | |
# Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee | 0:00:11 | 0:00:13 | |
# Little brown jug, don't I love thee | 0:00:13 | 0:00:16 | |
# Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee | 0:00:16 | 0:00:18 | |
# Little brown jug, don't I love thee | 0:00:18 | 0:00:20 | |
# Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee | 0:00:20 | 0:00:22 | |
# Little brown jug, don't I love thee | 0:00:22 | 0:00:25 | |
# Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee | 0:00:25 | 0:00:27 | |
# Little brown jug, don't I love thee | 0:00:27 | 0:00:29 | |
# Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee | 0:00:29 | 0:00:31 | |
# Little brown jug, don't I love thee. # | 0:00:31 | 0:00:36 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:00:36 | 0:00:40 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:00:43 | 0:00:46 | |
CHEERING | 0:00:52 | 0:00:54 | |
Once again, | 0:00:54 | 0:00:56 | |
good evening, ladies and gentlemen! | 0:00:56 | 0:01:01 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Good evening! | 0:01:01 | 0:01:03 | |
Phantasmagorically, | 0:01:03 | 0:01:06 | |
effortless in festival frivolities, | 0:01:06 | 0:01:08 | |
effloresce in transvestite... | 0:01:08 | 0:01:13 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Whoo! | 0:01:13 | 0:01:15 | |
..panto mimicry, flamboyant, from the Players Theatre! | 0:01:15 | 0:01:21 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:01:21 | 0:01:24 | |
# Oh, we'll all have a jolly good time | 0:01:34 | 0:01:38 | |
# With the dame in the pantomime | 0:01:38 | 0:01:41 | |
# For she is the one who will start up the fun | 0:01:41 | 0:01:45 | |
# And the hero is always her favourite son | 0:01:45 | 0:01:48 | |
-# Robin Hood -Aladdin | 0:01:48 | 0:01:50 | |
-# Dick Whittington -And Jack | 0:01:50 | 0:01:52 | |
# Tell their stories in song and in rhyme | 0:01:52 | 0:01:55 | |
# It's the time of the year when the children all cheer | 0:01:55 | 0:01:58 | |
# For the dame in the pantomime | 0:01:58 | 0:02:02 | |
# For the dame in the pantomime. # | 0:02:02 | 0:02:07 | |
# Let's have a song about the boys | 0:02:07 | 0:02:10 | |
# About the boys | 0:02:10 | 0:02:12 | |
# About the boys | 0:02:12 | 0:02:14 | |
# Beanstalk Jack, Aladdin, Robin Hood | 0:02:14 | 0:02:17 | |
# Whittington and it started with a whoop | 0:02:17 | 0:02:21 | |
# Let's have a song about the boys | 0:02:21 | 0:02:24 | |
# About the boys | 0:02:24 | 0:02:26 | |
# What a joy | 0:02:26 | 0:02:28 | |
# All together, let us make the laughter free | 0:02:28 | 0:02:32 | |
# And let's have a song about the boys. # | 0:02:32 | 0:02:35 | |
Jack - Penny Rigden. | 0:02:35 | 0:02:37 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:02:39 | 0:02:42 | |
Robin Hood - Lisa Westcott. | 0:02:42 | 0:02:46 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:02:46 | 0:02:48 | |
Dick Whittington - Jenny Till. | 0:02:48 | 0:02:51 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:02:51 | 0:02:54 | |
Aladdin - Nicola Kimber. | 0:02:55 | 0:02:58 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:02:58 | 0:03:01 | |
Prince Charming - Danny La Rue! | 0:03:05 | 0:03:08 | |
CHEERING | 0:03:08 | 0:03:11 | |
# Put me among the girls | 0:03:19 | 0:03:22 | |
# Put me among the girls | 0:03:22 | 0:03:26 | |
# Do me a favour, do | 0:03:26 | 0:03:29 | |
# You know I'd do the same for you | 0:03:29 | 0:03:33 | |
# Put me among the girls | 0:03:33 | 0:03:37 | |
# Those with the curly curls | 0:03:37 | 0:03:40 | |
# They'll all enjoy themselves and so will I | 0:03:40 | 0:03:44 | |
# So put me among the girls, yeah! # | 0:03:44 | 0:03:48 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:03:48 | 0:03:51 | |
# If you were the only girl in the world | 0:03:58 | 0:04:04 | |
# And I were the only boy | 0:04:04 | 0:04:09 | |
# Nothing else would matter in the world today | 0:04:10 | 0:04:16 | |
# We could go on loving in the same old way | 0:04:16 | 0:04:21 | |
# A Garden of Eden just meant for two | 0:04:21 | 0:04:27 | |
# With nothing to mar our joy | 0:04:27 | 0:04:31 | |
# I would say such wonderful things to you | 0:04:32 | 0:04:38 | |
# There would be such wonderful things to do | 0:04:38 | 0:04:43 | |
# If you were the only girls in the world | 0:04:43 | 0:04:49 | |
# And I were the only boy. # | 0:04:49 | 0:04:54 | |
# She's my lady love | 0:04:55 | 0:04:58 | |
# She is my dove, my baby love | 0:04:58 | 0:05:03 | |
# She's no girl for sitting down to dream | 0:05:03 | 0:05:07 | |
# She's the only queen Laguna knows | 0:05:07 | 0:05:12 | |
# I know she likes me | 0:05:12 | 0:05:15 | |
# I know she likes me | 0:05:15 | 0:05:17 | |
# Because she said so | 0:05:17 | 0:05:20 | |
# She is my lily of Laguna | 0:05:20 | 0:05:24 | |
# She is my lily and my... # | 0:05:24 | 0:05:27 | |
All together now! | 0:05:27 | 0:05:29 | |
# She's my lady love | 0:05:29 | 0:05:33 | |
# She is my dove, my baby love | 0:05:33 | 0:05:38 | |
# She's no girl for sitting down to dream | 0:05:38 | 0:05:42 | |
# She's the only queen Laguna knows | 0:05:42 | 0:05:46 | |
# I know she likes me | 0:05:46 | 0:05:50 | |
# I know she likes me | 0:05:50 | 0:05:52 | |
# Because she said so | 0:05:52 | 0:05:54 | |
# She is my lily of Laguna | 0:05:54 | 0:05:59 | |
# She is my lily | 0:05:59 | 0:06:02 | |
# And my rose. # | 0:06:02 | 0:06:07 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:06:07 | 0:06:10 | |
Enchanting embodiment... | 0:06:20 | 0:06:23 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Whoo... -That's not a rude word. | 0:06:23 | 0:06:26 | |
..of all mythological anthropomorphism. | 0:06:26 | 0:06:31 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Whoo! | 0:06:31 | 0:06:33 | |
A talking bird. | 0:06:33 | 0:06:35 | |
Mr Keith Harris! | 0:06:35 | 0:06:38 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:06:38 | 0:06:42 | |
Oh! | 0:06:46 | 0:06:48 | |
Ah, lovely. | 0:06:50 | 0:06:52 | |
Thank you very much indeed, ladies and gentlemen. | 0:06:52 | 0:06:54 | |
This, of course, is my little friend, Orville. He's very shy. | 0:06:54 | 0:06:57 | |
I'll get him to turn round. Will you turn round and have a look? | 0:06:57 | 0:07:00 | |
-AS ORVILLE: -I can't. | 0:07:00 | 0:07:02 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:07:02 | 0:07:03 | |
-You can. -I don't want to. | 0:07:03 | 0:07:06 | |
Come on, have a look, because all your friends are out here. | 0:07:06 | 0:07:09 | |
-Just have a look. -I'll have a look then. -Come on. | 0:07:09 | 0:07:12 | |
-There you are, you see. AUDIENCE: -Aw. -There, see? | 0:07:12 | 0:07:16 | |
They've all got their old clothes on. | 0:07:16 | 0:07:19 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:07:19 | 0:07:22 | |
You see, it's period costume. | 0:07:22 | 0:07:24 | |
They're all here to enjoy themselves. | 0:07:24 | 0:07:26 | |
-Are they? -Yes, see? | 0:07:26 | 0:07:29 | |
Are they real people? | 0:07:29 | 0:07:32 | |
Of course they're real people. | 0:07:32 | 0:07:34 | |
Look, say hello to the gentleman on the front row | 0:07:34 | 0:07:36 | |
and he'll say hello to you. | 0:07:36 | 0:07:37 | |
-Hello. -Hello. | 0:07:37 | 0:07:39 | |
-Ah... -LAUGHTER | 0:07:39 | 0:07:42 | |
-What have you come as? -Listen... | 0:07:42 | 0:07:44 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:07:44 | 0:07:46 | |
Orville, don't be so cheeky. | 0:07:46 | 0:07:49 | |
-Look, I think you'd better say good night. -I've only just come out. | 0:07:49 | 0:07:53 | |
-I know you have. -And it's New Year's Eve. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:56 | |
Well, I know it's New Year's Eve | 0:07:56 | 0:07:58 | |
but, you see, you've got to go to bed | 0:07:58 | 0:08:00 | |
because little people need their sleep and sleep's very good for you. | 0:08:00 | 0:08:03 | |
I don't want to go to bed yet. | 0:08:03 | 0:08:06 | |
-Well, you've got to. -I don't want to. | 0:08:06 | 0:08:09 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:08:09 | 0:08:11 | |
I don't want to. | 0:08:11 | 0:08:13 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:08:13 | 0:08:16 | |
Well, you have to because sleep is very good for you. | 0:08:16 | 0:08:19 | |
-I don't think it is, you know. -Don't you? | 0:08:19 | 0:08:22 | |
-No, cos when I go to bed after a party... -Mm. | 0:08:22 | 0:08:28 | |
-..I feel good. -Yes. | 0:08:28 | 0:08:30 | |
-And when I wake up in the morning, I feel terrible. -Do you? | 0:08:30 | 0:08:34 | |
-So, it's the sleep that does it. -It's the sleep... Well, it might be. | 0:08:36 | 0:08:40 | |
-Yes. -It might be the sleep that does it. | 0:08:40 | 0:08:43 | |
Listen, I'm going to put you to bed | 0:08:43 | 0:08:45 | |
because, you see, I have to go first-footing. | 0:08:45 | 0:08:47 | |
-What does that mean? -What does it mean? -Yeah. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:50 | |
Well, you see, at 12 o'clock, to let the New Year in, | 0:08:50 | 0:08:52 | |
I go to my friend's house, knock on his door | 0:08:52 | 0:08:54 | |
and I give him a piece of bread and some coal. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:57 | |
-Some what? -A piece of bread and some coal. | 0:08:57 | 0:08:59 | |
-That won't taste very nice. -Well, of course it won't. | 0:08:59 | 0:09:03 | |
Coal isn't for eating, is it? | 0:09:03 | 0:09:05 | |
-Er, central 'eating. -Central 'eating. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:08 | |
-Yeah. -Yeah... LAUGHTER | 0:09:08 | 0:09:11 | |
-So, I think I'll put you to bed. -Into bed. -Yes, your bed's up here. | 0:09:11 | 0:09:15 | |
-Up the stairs. -Up the stairs. -Going to bed now. -All right. | 0:09:15 | 0:09:19 | |
-Put you in there. -Hello. -Hello. I love you. -I'm going to bed now. | 0:09:19 | 0:09:24 | |
-I love you. -I love you. -Yes, I know you do. -In the bed. | 0:09:24 | 0:09:28 | |
-Here's a bed over here. -The big bed. -In the big bed. | 0:09:28 | 0:09:31 | |
-It's my bed. -I know it's your bed. | 0:09:31 | 0:09:33 | |
And then, in the morning, when you wake up, | 0:09:33 | 0:09:35 | |
you know what everybody does? You know what happens on New Year's Day? | 0:09:35 | 0:09:39 | |
Nobody goes to work. | 0:09:39 | 0:09:40 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:09:40 | 0:09:43 | |
Everybody shouts, "Rabbits, rabbits, rabbits!" | 0:09:43 | 0:09:46 | |
-What for? -Well, I don't know. It's tradition, you see. | 0:09:46 | 0:09:49 | |
Everybody says that. | 0:09:49 | 0:09:51 | |
Rabbits don't. | 0:09:51 | 0:09:53 | |
Don't they? | 0:09:53 | 0:09:55 | |
They shout, "People, people, people!" | 0:09:55 | 0:09:57 | |
-Well, never mind. Look, I'll put you in the bed. -In the bed. -Yes. | 0:09:57 | 0:10:01 | |
Where's my hottie? | 0:10:01 | 0:10:03 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:10:03 | 0:10:05 | |
-Where's your what? -My hottie. -Oh, your hottie. -Yes. | 0:10:05 | 0:10:08 | |
You had me worried for a minute. It's in there somewhere. | 0:10:08 | 0:10:12 | |
-I'll find it then. -Yes, you find it. | 0:10:12 | 0:10:14 | |
-I've got it now. -All right. -I'll be all right. | 0:10:14 | 0:10:16 | |
It'll be all right because I want to talk to the ladies and gentlemen. | 0:10:16 | 0:10:19 | |
-OK. -All right? All right then. | 0:10:19 | 0:10:21 | |
-Ssh... -Ssh. You go to sleep, all right? | 0:10:21 | 0:10:24 | |
-Yeah. -There's a good boy. | 0:10:24 | 0:10:26 | |
Ladies and gentlemen... | 0:10:26 | 0:10:28 | |
-Keith? -Yes? | 0:10:28 | 0:10:31 | |
Can I have a drink of water? | 0:10:31 | 0:10:33 | |
No, you don't want a drink of water. All right, just be a good boy. | 0:10:35 | 0:10:40 | |
Right, ladies and gentlemen... | 0:10:40 | 0:10:42 | |
Keith? | 0:10:42 | 0:10:44 | |
-Yes? -I want a drink of water. | 0:10:44 | 0:10:48 | |
Look, you want a drink of water? | 0:10:48 | 0:10:51 | |
If I hear one more word, I'll smack your botty. | 0:10:51 | 0:10:54 | |
-Keith? -Yes? | 0:10:54 | 0:10:57 | |
When you come to smack my botty, can you bring me a drink of water? | 0:10:57 | 0:11:01 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:11:01 | 0:11:05 | |
I'll get... I'll get some milk. There we are. | 0:11:07 | 0:11:09 | |
I've got some milk for you cos I know you like milk. | 0:11:09 | 0:11:11 | |
-Do you like milk? -Yeah. -Yeah, all right. | 0:11:11 | 0:11:13 | |
-Cos I'm thirsty. -Uh? -I am thirsty. -Are you? | 0:11:13 | 0:11:16 | |
-Oh, I am thirsty. -Are you? | 0:11:16 | 0:11:19 | |
-Oh, I am thirsty! -All right. | 0:11:19 | 0:11:22 | |
Have your milk, there you are, cos it's good for you. | 0:11:22 | 0:11:24 | |
Drink your milk, OK. | 0:11:24 | 0:11:26 | |
ORVILLE SLURPS | 0:11:26 | 0:11:29 | |
-I've finished now. -You've finished? -Yeah. -Good boy. | 0:11:29 | 0:11:32 | |
ORVILLE BURPS Ooh! | 0:11:32 | 0:11:34 | |
ORVILLE LAUGHS | 0:11:34 | 0:11:35 | |
That milk's full of 'scuseness. | 0:11:35 | 0:11:37 | |
Is it full of 'scuseness? | 0:11:37 | 0:11:39 | |
-Yeah. -Yes. And I don't want to hear any more | 0:11:39 | 0:11:41 | |
-of this "Oh, I am thirsty" business. -OK. | 0:11:41 | 0:11:43 | |
-OK. -Good. -Yes. -Cos I was thirsty. -Were you? | 0:11:43 | 0:11:46 | |
Oh, I was thirsty. | 0:11:46 | 0:11:48 | |
Oh, I was thirsty! | 0:11:48 | 0:11:51 | |
All right. Don't make things up. | 0:11:51 | 0:11:54 | |
-I didn't. -You did. | 0:11:54 | 0:11:56 | |
I didn't. | 0:11:56 | 0:11:58 | |
I didn't. | 0:11:58 | 0:12:00 | |
-Listen, you haven't said your prayers, have you? -No. | 0:12:00 | 0:12:03 | |
-Are you going to say your prayers? -I like saying prayers. | 0:12:03 | 0:12:07 | |
-Do you? -I'm a little bird of pray. -Are you? | 0:12:07 | 0:12:11 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:12:11 | 0:12:13 | |
Well, you... | 0:12:13 | 0:12:14 | |
-What? -You repeat after me a little child's prayer. Ready? | 0:12:16 | 0:12:19 | |
Now I lay me down to sleep. | 0:12:19 | 0:12:21 | |
Now I lay me down to sleep. | 0:12:21 | 0:12:24 | |
I pray the Lord my soul to keep. | 0:12:24 | 0:12:27 | |
I pray the Lord my soul to keep. | 0:12:27 | 0:12:30 | |
If I should die before I wake. | 0:12:30 | 0:12:33 | |
If I should die bef... Pardon? | 0:12:33 | 0:12:36 | |
If I should die before I wake. | 0:12:36 | 0:12:39 | |
If I should die before I wake. | 0:12:39 | 0:12:42 | |
I pray the Lord my soul to take. | 0:12:42 | 0:12:45 | |
I pray the Lord my soul to take. | 0:12:45 | 0:12:48 | |
ORVILLE SIGHS | 0:12:48 | 0:12:51 | |
# Little man, you're sighing | 0:12:51 | 0:12:55 | |
# Tell me why you're blue | 0:12:55 | 0:12:58 | |
# Just because it's time to hit the hay | 0:12:58 | 0:13:03 | |
# You'd better go to sleep now | 0:13:03 | 0:13:07 | |
# Little man, you've had a busy day | 0:13:07 | 0:13:11 | |
# I'll keep my resolution | 0:13:13 | 0:13:16 | |
# When the old year ends | 0:13:16 | 0:13:19 | |
# Now it's time to, to dim the light | 0:13:19 | 0:13:23 | |
# Well, before I go to sleep | 0:13:24 | 0:13:28 | |
# I will say to all my friends | 0:13:28 | 0:13:31 | |
# Happy New Year | 0:13:31 | 0:13:33 | |
# And good night | 0:13:34 | 0:13:36 | |
# Now the moon is beaming | 0:13:37 | 0:13:40 | |
# Stars are shining through | 0:13:40 | 0:13:44 | |
# They're telling us the sandman's on his way | 0:13:44 | 0:13:48 | |
# You, you'd better go to sleep now | 0:13:48 | 0:13:52 | |
# Cos, little man, you've had a busy day | 0:13:52 | 0:13:57 | |
# Yeah | 0:13:57 | 0:13:59 | |
# Yes, I've had | 0:14:00 | 0:14:02 | |
# A very busy | 0:14:02 | 0:14:07 | |
# Say good night | 0:14:07 | 0:14:08 | |
-# Good night, God bless -Day. # | 0:14:08 | 0:14:11 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:14:13 | 0:14:16 | |
Direct from La Scala, Milan, | 0:14:41 | 0:14:45 | |
and Covent Garden, | 0:14:45 | 0:14:48 | |
crystalline, charismatic coloraturism, | 0:14:48 | 0:14:53 | |
Miss Teresa Cahill! | 0:14:53 | 0:14:57 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:14:57 | 0:15:01 | |
SHE SINGS AN OPERATIC PIECE IN ITALIAN | 0:15:09 | 0:15:12 | |
SHE SINGS AN OPERATIC PIECE IN ITALIAN | 0:15:49 | 0:15:53 | |
SHE SINGS AN OPERATIC PIECE IN ITALIAN | 0:16:11 | 0:16:14 | |
SHE SINGS AN OPERATIC PIECE IN ITALIAN | 0:16:41 | 0:16:44 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:16:46 | 0:16:50 | |
# I've heard the magic song that love sings | 0:17:13 | 0:17:17 | |
# Believed the lies that love can tell | 0:17:17 | 0:17:22 | |
# I've known the loneliness that love brings | 0:17:22 | 0:17:26 | |
# To those like me who love so well | 0:17:26 | 0:17:32 | |
# In vain have I pretended | 0:17:32 | 0:17:36 | |
# To call this love a passing phase | 0:17:36 | 0:17:41 | |
# Yet till my life is ended | 0:17:41 | 0:17:47 | |
# I know I'll never change my ways | 0:17:47 | 0:17:55 | |
# I give my heart | 0:17:55 | 0:18:00 | |
# Just to one man | 0:18:00 | 0:18:04 | |
# Loving as any woman can | 0:18:04 | 0:18:11 | |
# This, too, I swear | 0:18:11 | 0:18:16 | |
# While I am there | 0:18:16 | 0:18:19 | |
# All I possess is this to share | 0:18:19 | 0:18:28 | |
# I give my heart | 0:18:28 | 0:18:33 | |
# I know my mind | 0:18:33 | 0:18:36 | |
# Without this sorrow | 0:18:36 | 0:18:40 | |
# Love will come | 0:18:40 | 0:18:44 | |
MUFFLED OPERATIC SINGING | 0:18:44 | 0:18:49 | |
# I give my heart | 0:18:53 | 0:18:57 | |
# To one man alone | 0:18:57 | 0:19:03 | |
# I've known some foolish men and wise men | 0:19:08 | 0:19:12 | |
# Men drunk with love instead of wine | 0:19:12 | 0:19:17 | |
# And yet I do not criticise men | 0:19:17 | 0:19:21 | |
# Their lives are theirs and mine is mine | 0:19:21 | 0:19:26 | |
# To me they come for pleasure | 0:19:26 | 0:19:30 | |
# They sometimes win, they sometimes fail | 0:19:30 | 0:19:35 | |
# One thing I know I treasure | 0:19:35 | 0:19:41 | |
# This heart of mine is not for sale | 0:19:41 | 0:19:50 | |
# I give my heart | 0:19:50 | 0:19:55 | |
# Just to one man | 0:19:55 | 0:19:59 | |
# Loving as only woman can | 0:19:59 | 0:20:06 | |
# This, too, I swear | 0:20:06 | 0:20:11 | |
# While I am there | 0:20:11 | 0:20:14 | |
# All I possess is this to share | 0:20:14 | 0:20:22 | |
# I give my heart | 0:20:22 | 0:20:27 | |
# I know my mind | 0:20:27 | 0:20:31 | |
# Without this sorrow | 0:20:31 | 0:20:34 | |
# Love will come | 0:20:34 | 0:20:38 | |
MUFFLED OPERATIC SINGING | 0:20:38 | 0:20:43 | |
# I give my heart | 0:20:48 | 0:20:52 | |
# To one man alone. # | 0:20:52 | 0:21:03 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:21:03 | 0:21:06 | |
From Calcutta, | 0:21:24 | 0:21:27 | |
kinetoscopic chiaroscurist | 0:21:27 | 0:21:32 | |
in archetypal adumbration... | 0:21:32 | 0:21:35 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Ooh! | 0:21:35 | 0:21:37 | |
-Shadow play. -AUDIENCE: -Ah. | 0:21:37 | 0:21:39 | |
Bablu Mallick! | 0:21:39 | 0:21:42 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:21:42 | 0:21:45 | |
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. | 0:21:48 | 0:21:50 | |
Bonsoir, mesdames et messieurs. | 0:21:50 | 0:21:52 | |
SNEEZE | 0:21:52 | 0:21:53 | |
Left, right, left, right. | 0:21:57 | 0:21:59 | |
About turn. Company, March! | 0:21:59 | 0:22:02 | |
Whoop, whoop. | 0:22:02 | 0:22:04 | |
WHISTLING | 0:22:05 | 0:22:07 | |
MAA | 0:22:13 | 0:22:14 | |
Ole! | 0:22:15 | 0:22:16 | |
Oh, la-la, la-la, la-la. | 0:22:23 | 0:22:25 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:22:26 | 0:22:28 | |
Yeah. | 0:22:30 | 0:22:32 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:22:43 | 0:22:45 | |
KISSING | 0:22:49 | 0:22:50 | |
Come here. | 0:22:50 | 0:22:52 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:22:53 | 0:22:56 | |
No. No? | 0:23:02 | 0:23:04 | |
I love you. | 0:23:06 | 0:23:08 | |
Oh, no. | 0:23:12 | 0:23:14 | |
SNORING | 0:23:18 | 0:23:21 | |
Good night. | 0:23:25 | 0:23:27 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:23:28 | 0:23:31 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:23:58 | 0:24:01 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:24:34 | 0:24:37 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:24:47 | 0:24:50 | |
SQUEAKING | 0:24:58 | 0:25:01 | |
BARKING | 0:25:04 | 0:25:05 | |
BARKING AND PANTING | 0:25:12 | 0:25:15 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:25:16 | 0:25:18 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:26:02 | 0:26:05 | |
Epitomising epicenism... | 0:26:17 | 0:26:20 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Ooh! | 0:26:20 | 0:26:22 | |
..every other inch a woman, | 0:26:22 | 0:26:26 | |
Mr Danny La Rue! | 0:26:26 | 0:26:29 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:26:29 | 0:26:33 | |
-Are we having a nice time? AUDIENCE: -Yes! | 0:26:37 | 0:26:41 | |
Now we're creeping towards the New Year. | 0:26:41 | 0:26:43 | |
-Are you all very happy about that? AUDIENCE: -Yes. | 0:26:43 | 0:26:46 | |
Now, girls, see all these fellas with you tonight? Watch them. | 0:26:46 | 0:26:49 | |
I've got a very sad story. | 0:26:49 | 0:26:51 | |
It's about a little young lady and you might be all in the same boat. | 0:26:51 | 0:26:54 | |
They'll take you home for a gin and it. | 0:26:54 | 0:26:56 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:26:56 | 0:26:58 | |
You'll have the gin, they'll have it. Watch them. | 0:26:58 | 0:27:01 | |
Now, get your handkerchiefs ready for this very sad tale. | 0:27:02 | 0:27:05 | |
You're all right, are you, Maestro, dear? | 0:27:05 | 0:27:07 | |
# Here is a picture, a man and a girl | 0:27:08 | 0:27:11 | |
# Strolling along in the shade | 0:27:11 | 0:27:13 | |
# He is a marquis, the son of an earl | 0:27:13 | 0:27:17 | |
# And she but a pure village maid | 0:27:17 | 0:27:20 | |
# He tells her he loves her again and again | 0:27:20 | 0:27:23 | |
# She thinks he is loyal and true | 0:27:23 | 0:27:27 | |
# And then comes the night when he gives her champagne | 0:27:27 | 0:27:32 | |
# And does what he ought not to do | 0:27:32 | 0:27:36 | |
# Only a glass of champagne | 0:27:38 | 0:27:42 | |
# But it led a poor girl into sin | 0:27:42 | 0:27:46 | |
# Only a glass of champagne | 0:27:48 | 0:27:52 | |
# T'was the door where the devil crept in | 0:27:52 | 0:27:57 | |
# It's just an old story | 0:27:58 | 0:28:00 | |
# It's always the same | 0:28:00 | 0:28:02 | |
# Just like a poor moth | 0:28:02 | 0:28:04 | |
# She flew too near the flame | 0:28:04 | 0:28:07 | |
# She opened her wings | 0:28:07 | 0:28:10 | |
# And lost her good name | 0:28:10 | 0:28:12 | |
# All for a glass of champagne | 0:28:12 | 0:28:16 | |
# Now think of her future, the sorrow, the shame | 0:28:16 | 0:28:20 | |
# Neither a maid nor a wife | 0:28:20 | 0:28:23 | |
# Think of those parents who gave her the name | 0:28:23 | 0:28:27 | |
# She has dishonoured for life | 0:28:27 | 0:28:31 | |
# What's to become of her, spurned and reviled | 0:28:32 | 0:28:35 | |
# Into oblivion hurled? | 0:28:35 | 0:28:39 | |
# And what can she offer her fatherless child... # | 0:28:39 | 0:28:43 | |
-Ah... AUDIENCE: -Ah... | 0:28:43 | 0:28:46 | |
# She has brought into the world? # | 0:28:46 | 0:28:49 | |
All together! | 0:28:49 | 0:28:51 | |
# Only a glass of champagne | 0:28:51 | 0:28:55 | |
# Was the... It led a poor girl into sin... # | 0:28:55 | 0:28:59 | |
That's it, dear. | 0:28:59 | 0:29:01 | |
# Only a glass of champagne | 0:29:01 | 0:29:05 | |
# T'was the door where the devil crept in | 0:29:05 | 0:29:09 | |
# She lost her honour with heartache and pain | 0:29:10 | 0:29:15 | |
# To her false lover she pleaded in vain | 0:29:15 | 0:29:20 | |
# But by the next morning she'd lost it again | 0:29:20 | 0:29:24 | |
# All for a glass of champagne | 0:29:24 | 0:29:29 | |
# So all you young ladies | 0:29:29 | 0:29:32 | |
# Take warning from her | 0:29:32 | 0:29:34 | |
# If you're taken out by a lord or a sir | 0:29:34 | 0:29:39 | |
# Be careful you don't let the same thing occur | 0:29:39 | 0:29:44 | |
# Well, not for a glass of champagne. # | 0:29:44 | 0:29:52 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:29:52 | 0:29:56 | |
CHEERING | 0:30:02 | 0:30:05 | |
Hey! | 0:30:08 | 0:30:10 | |
# Down the road there lives a man I'd like you all to know | 0:30:13 | 0:30:16 | |
# He grew a great big marrow for the local flower show | 0:30:16 | 0:30:20 | |
# And when the news got round of it they came from far and wide | 0:30:20 | 0:30:24 | |
# And when the people saw the size of it... # | 0:30:24 | 0:30:27 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:30:28 | 0:30:30 | |
# Everybody cried | 0:30:30 | 0:30:33 | |
# Oh, what a beauty! | 0:30:33 | 0:30:37 | |
# I've never seen one as big as that before | 0:30:37 | 0:30:41 | |
# Oh, what a beauty! | 0:30:41 | 0:30:44 | |
# It must be two foot long or maybe more | 0:30:44 | 0:30:48 | |
# It's such a lovely colour, nice and round and fat | 0:30:48 | 0:30:52 | |
# I've never seen a marrow quite as big as that | 0:30:52 | 0:30:56 | |
# Oh, what a beauty! | 0:30:56 | 0:30:59 | |
I've never seen one as big as that before | 0:30:59 | 0:31:04 | |
# He was leaning on his garden gate the other day | 0:31:04 | 0:31:08 | |
# And beckoned to a lady who lived just across the way | 0:31:08 | 0:31:11 | |
# He took her down the garden path and showed it her with pride | 0:31:11 | 0:31:15 | |
# And when she saw the size of it... # | 0:31:15 | 0:31:18 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:31:18 | 0:31:21 | |
Silly girl! LAUGHTER | 0:31:21 | 0:31:24 | |
# She looked at him and cried | 0:31:24 | 0:31:28 | |
# "Oh, what a beauty! | 0:31:28 | 0:31:31 | |
# "I've never seen one as big as that before | 0:31:31 | 0:31:35 | |
# "Oh, what a beauty! | 0:31:35 | 0:31:39 | |
# "It must be two foot long or maybe more | 0:31:39 | 0:31:43 | |
# "It's such a lovely colour, nice and round and fat | 0:31:43 | 0:31:47 | |
# "I've never seen a marrow quite as big as that | 0:31:47 | 0:31:50 | |
# "Oh, what a beauty! | 0:31:50 | 0:31:54 | |
# "I've never seen one as big as that before | 0:31:54 | 0:31:58 | |
# "Never seen one as big as that before." # | 0:31:58 | 0:32:04 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:32:06 | 0:32:09 | |
-Idiosyncratic... -AUDIENCE: -Ooh! | 0:32:23 | 0:32:27 | |
-..ecdysiast... -AUDIENCE: -Ooh! | 0:32:27 | 0:32:30 | |
-From the Greek. -LAUGHTER | 0:32:30 | 0:32:32 | |
Egocentricity from Mr Deryk Parkin! | 0:32:32 | 0:32:37 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:32:37 | 0:32:41 | |
# There's something about me, there's no doubt | 0:32:42 | 0:32:46 | |
# I look a masher when I'm walking out | 0:32:46 | 0:32:48 | |
# People stare though I don't know why | 0:32:48 | 0:32:51 | |
# Perhaps it is because I wear a collar and tie | 0:32:51 | 0:32:54 | |
# And no joke, my poke, though a trifle bent | 0:32:54 | 0:32:57 | |
# Doesn't make them look at me a lot | 0:32:57 | 0:32:59 | |
# But there's one thing people seem to think is funny | 0:32:59 | 0:33:03 | |
# And I'll tell you what it is, just what | 0:33:03 | 0:33:06 | |
# It's the little wigger-wagger in my hand | 0:33:07 | 0:33:11 | |
# That makes me such a dandy | 0:33:11 | 0:33:14 | |
# Oh, it's not my strut, nor my face, tut-tut | 0:33:14 | 0:33:17 | |
# Nor the brand-new caddy like a pimple on my nut | 0:33:17 | 0:33:20 | |
# Maidies and the ladies | 0:33:20 | 0:33:23 | |
# I meet when I'm a-walking in the Strand | 0:33:23 | 0:33:25 | |
# They admire my togs and I keep away the dogs | 0:33:25 | 0:33:28 | |
# With my little wigger-wagger in my hand | 0:33:28 | 0:33:31 | |
# Brum | 0:33:31 | 0:33:33 | |
# Brum-da-da-da-da-dum | 0:33:33 | 0:33:34 | |
# I went to a fancy-dress ball one night | 0:33:42 | 0:33:44 | |
# Dressed up as Cupid, looking such a sight | 0:33:44 | 0:33:47 | |
# I wore red tights cos I can't stand black... # | 0:33:47 | 0:33:50 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Whoo! | 0:33:51 | 0:33:53 | |
# I got a pair of tinsel wings and stuck them on my back... # | 0:33:55 | 0:33:58 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Whoo! | 0:33:58 | 0:34:00 | |
# In Bow, you know, I picked up a bow | 0:34:00 | 0:34:02 | |
# I got it very cheap Well, I'll be blowed | 0:34:02 | 0:34:05 | |
# And at my side I wore a quiver full of arrows | 0:34:05 | 0:34:09 | |
# That I picked up in the 'Arrow Road | 0:34:09 | 0:34:12 | |
# With my little wigger-wagger in my hand | 0:34:12 | 0:34:17 | |
# I walked into the ballroom | 0:34:17 | 0:34:20 | |
# But I blushed with pride for the girls all cried | 0:34:20 | 0:34:23 | |
# "If I catch you bending" Well, I thought I should have died | 0:34:23 | 0:34:26 | |
# Fellows, they were jealous | 0:34:26 | 0:34:29 | |
# Though why it was I couldn't understand | 0:34:29 | 0:34:32 | |
# For I stood just so | 0:34:32 | 0:34:34 | |
# With my arrow and my bow | 0:34:35 | 0:34:37 | |
# And my little wigger-wagger in my hand | 0:34:37 | 0:34:40 | |
# La-di | 0:34:40 | 0:34:42 | |
# Ba-da-da-dum... # | 0:34:42 | 0:34:43 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Whoo! | 0:34:46 | 0:34:48 | |
# Once at the seaside, Margate way | 0:34:48 | 0:34:51 | |
# I had a little dip in Pegwell Bay | 0:34:51 | 0:34:54 | |
# I put my clothes on the sandy beach | 0:34:54 | 0:34:56 | |
# I put them where I reckoned that the water wouldn't reach | 0:34:56 | 0:34:59 | |
# Sidestroke, wide stroke I began to swim | 0:35:00 | 0:35:03 | |
# Bobbing in the water like a boat | 0:35:03 | 0:35:05 | |
# And on my cane I tied a pair of water wings | 0:35:05 | 0:35:09 | |
# To keep me up and make me float | 0:35:09 | 0:35:12 | |
# With my little wigger-wagger in my hand | 0:35:13 | 0:35:17 | |
# I left the salt seawater | 0:35:17 | 0:35:20 | |
# But I felt a jay To my great dismay | 0:35:20 | 0:35:23 | |
# The waves carried all my toggeries away | 0:35:23 | 0:35:26 | |
# I there felt a pie there | 0:35:26 | 0:35:28 | |
# For all the boys were laughing on the sand | 0:35:28 | 0:35:31 | |
# As away I raced with a kipper round my waist | 0:35:31 | 0:35:34 | |
# And my little wigger-wagger in my hand | 0:35:34 | 0:35:37 | |
# With my little wigger-wagger With my little wigger-wagger | 0:35:37 | 0:35:39 | |
# With my little wigger-wagger... # | 0:35:39 | 0:35:41 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Whoo! | 0:35:41 | 0:35:43 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:35:43 | 0:35:47 | |
From America, | 0:35:52 | 0:35:54 | |
mellifluous, | 0:35:54 | 0:35:57 | |
honey-toned, | 0:35:57 | 0:35:59 | |
in deliquescent masculinity, | 0:35:59 | 0:36:03 | |
Mr Robert White! | 0:36:03 | 0:36:05 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:36:05 | 0:36:08 | |
# I wander today to the hill, Maggie | 0:36:11 | 0:36:18 | |
# To watch the scene below | 0:36:18 | 0:36:24 | |
# The creek and the creaking old mill, Maggie | 0:36:24 | 0:36:31 | |
# As we used to long ago | 0:36:31 | 0:36:37 | |
# The green growth is gone from the hill, Maggie | 0:36:37 | 0:36:44 | |
# Where first the daisies sprung | 0:36:44 | 0:36:53 | |
# And the creaking old mill is still, Maggie | 0:36:53 | 0:37:02 | |
# Since you and I were young | 0:37:02 | 0:37:09 | |
# They say I am feeble with age, Maggie | 0:37:15 | 0:37:21 | |
# My steps are less sprightly than then | 0:37:21 | 0:37:26 | |
# My face is a well-written page, Maggie | 0:37:26 | 0:37:33 | |
# But time alone was the pen | 0:37:33 | 0:37:39 | |
# They say we are aged and grey, Maggie | 0:37:39 | 0:37:45 | |
# As spray by the white breakers flung | 0:37:45 | 0:37:53 | |
# But to me you're as fair as you were, Maggie | 0:37:53 | 0:38:02 | |
# When you and I were young | 0:38:02 | 0:38:09 | |
# And now we are aged and grey, Maggie | 0:38:09 | 0:38:16 | |
# The trials of life nearly done | 0:38:16 | 0:38:25 | |
# Let us sing of the days that are gone, Maggie | 0:38:25 | 0:38:35 | |
# When you and I were young. # | 0:38:35 | 0:38:48 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:38:51 | 0:38:54 | |
You know, as this old year passes and we go into the new one, | 0:39:07 | 0:39:10 | |
it does make us think of family, whether they be near or far away. | 0:39:10 | 0:39:14 | |
Family, when we were youngsters, | 0:39:14 | 0:39:16 | |
makes us think of home and the house, | 0:39:16 | 0:39:18 | |
and the next song is about a house that might be no more, in fact, | 0:39:18 | 0:39:22 | |
but it's a thought to bring with us into the New Year, | 0:39:22 | 0:39:24 | |
so we appreciate what we have, with those near us. | 0:39:24 | 0:39:27 | |
The Old House. | 0:39:27 | 0:39:28 | |
# Lonely I wander | 0:39:38 | 0:39:42 | |
# Through scenes of my childhood | 0:39:42 | 0:39:47 | |
# They call back to memory | 0:39:47 | 0:39:51 | |
# Those happy days of yore | 0:39:51 | 0:39:56 | |
# Gone are the old folk | 0:39:56 | 0:40:00 | |
# The house stands deserted | 0:40:00 | 0:40:05 | |
# No light in the windows | 0:40:05 | 0:40:10 | |
# No welcome at the door | 0:40:10 | 0:40:16 | |
# Here's where the children | 0:40:23 | 0:40:26 | |
# Played games on the heather | 0:40:26 | 0:40:30 | |
# Here's where they sailed | 0:40:30 | 0:40:32 | |
# Their wee boats on the burn | 0:40:32 | 0:40:37 | |
# Where are they now? | 0:40:37 | 0:40:41 | |
# Some are dead | 0:40:41 | 0:40:44 | |
# Some have wandered | 0:40:44 | 0:40:47 | |
# No more to their home | 0:40:47 | 0:40:51 | |
# Shall those children return | 0:40:51 | 0:40:59 | |
# Lonely's the house now | 0:41:04 | 0:41:08 | |
# And lonely the moorlands | 0:41:08 | 0:41:13 | |
# The children are scattered | 0:41:13 | 0:41:18 | |
# The old folk are gone | 0:41:18 | 0:41:22 | |
# Why stand I here | 0:41:22 | 0:41:26 | |
# Like a ghost and a shadow? | 0:41:26 | 0:41:31 | |
# 'Tis time I were moving | 0:41:31 | 0:41:36 | |
# 'Tis time I passed on. # | 0:41:36 | 0:41:49 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:41:49 | 0:41:52 | |
All the way from Rotherham... | 0:42:12 | 0:42:15 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Ooh! | 0:42:15 | 0:42:17 | |
..engagingly jousting in jaunty jocularities... | 0:42:17 | 0:42:23 | |
Funnyman. Mr Duggie Brown! | 0:42:23 | 0:42:27 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:42:27 | 0:42:30 | |
Oh! | 0:42:31 | 0:42:33 | |
Oh, my goodness! | 0:42:33 | 0:42:34 | |
Isn't it a posh night, eh? | 0:42:39 | 0:42:42 | |
New Year's Eve! | 0:42:42 | 0:42:44 | |
A beautiful theatre... | 0:42:44 | 0:42:45 | |
It's like working in the inside of a wedding cake! | 0:42:45 | 0:42:48 | |
Mind you, I had a nice Christmas. I got a new set of golf clubs. | 0:42:48 | 0:42:51 | |
I love golf. I like golf stories. | 0:42:51 | 0:42:52 | |
There's a nice one about a fellow who was playing golf | 0:42:52 | 0:42:55 | |
and suddenly a golf ball hit him right in the middle of the jaw. | 0:42:55 | 0:42:57 | |
It broke his jaw, three places this side, three places that side. | 0:42:57 | 0:43:00 | |
He was in a terrible state. | 0:43:00 | 0:43:01 | |
Took him off to the hospital. He was three months in hospital. | 0:43:01 | 0:43:04 | |
He had to have all wire put through his jaw here, like that, | 0:43:04 | 0:43:07 | |
all along the bottom, like that, up the top. | 0:43:07 | 0:43:09 | |
He was in a terrible state. | 0:43:09 | 0:43:11 | |
-Shame! AUDIENCE: -Ah... | 0:43:11 | 0:43:13 | |
You were a bit late there, weren't you? | 0:43:13 | 0:43:15 | |
You'd feel shame with all wire around, wouldn't you? | 0:43:15 | 0:43:19 | |
He came out of hospital. He thought he'd cure his fear of golf, | 0:43:19 | 0:43:22 | |
so he went back to the clubhouse and there was Charlie, | 0:43:22 | 0:43:24 | |
cleaning glasses. And Charlie thought he'd make him feel at home. | 0:43:24 | 0:43:27 | |
He went, "Oh, hello, Mr Tomkinson. How are you feeling?" | 0:43:27 | 0:43:30 | |
He said... MUMBLING: "Oh, shocking, Charlie." | 0:43:30 | 0:43:34 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:43:34 | 0:43:36 | |
He said, "I tell you what, Charlie. I'm in a shocking state." | 0:43:38 | 0:43:43 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:43:43 | 0:43:46 | |
He said, "I can be truthful with you, Charlie. | 0:43:46 | 0:43:49 | |
"I am in a shocking state." | 0:43:49 | 0:43:52 | |
He said, "I got hit with that golf ball. Do you remember?" | 0:43:53 | 0:43:57 | |
Charlie said, "Yes." | 0:43:58 | 0:44:00 | |
He said, "Don't interrupt me, Charlie, it's hard to get it out." | 0:44:00 | 0:44:03 | |
He said, "I got hit with a golf ball, got hit in the jaw. | 0:44:03 | 0:44:05 | |
"It broke my jaw three places this side, three places that side. | 0:44:05 | 0:44:10 | |
"I've got all wire going... I've worked it out. | 0:44:10 | 0:44:12 | |
"If I drop dead this minute, I'm going to be worth more for scrap." | 0:44:12 | 0:44:16 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:44:16 | 0:44:18 | |
He said, "Charlie, I tell you what, I'm in a shocking state, I am." | 0:44:18 | 0:44:23 | |
He said... MUMBLING: "I've spent these three months in hospital. | 0:44:24 | 0:44:28 | |
"While I've been in hospital, I couldn't eat properly. | 0:44:28 | 0:44:33 | |
"Or sprouts." | 0:44:34 | 0:44:36 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:44:36 | 0:44:38 | |
I just thought of that one. | 0:44:38 | 0:44:41 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:44:41 | 0:44:43 | |
No, don't applaud, I've only got an hour and a half. He said... | 0:44:45 | 0:44:50 | |
Back into the character. | 0:44:50 | 0:44:52 | |
He said... MUMBLING: "I can't eat properly, Charlie. | 0:44:52 | 0:44:54 | |
"While I've been in there, I've had to be fed through a tube." | 0:44:54 | 0:44:58 | |
He said, "I'm in a shocking state, Charlie." | 0:44:58 | 0:45:01 | |
He said, "I can't drink properly. I have to drink through... | 0:45:01 | 0:45:05 | |
"I tell you what, Charlie, I can't even speak properly." | 0:45:05 | 0:45:09 | |
And Charlie tried to cheer him up. He said, "Don't worry, Mr Tomkinson. | 0:45:09 | 0:45:13 | |
"The man who hit you with that golf ball, he came in here that evening, | 0:45:13 | 0:45:16 | |
"he had seven double Scotches, | 0:45:16 | 0:45:18 | |
"he jumped into his brand-new automobile | 0:45:18 | 0:45:19 | |
"and went and crashed into the tree at the end of the lane." | 0:45:19 | 0:45:22 | |
And he said, "And I can't laugh either, Charlie." | 0:45:22 | 0:45:25 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:45:25 | 0:45:28 | |
I love the silly ones. The silliest one I ever heard... | 0:45:35 | 0:45:38 | |
You're not dashing off, are you? | 0:45:38 | 0:45:40 | |
This fellow's got this parrot, you see. | 0:45:40 | 0:45:43 | |
It's not the Irish parrot. I'll do that one. Quick impression. | 0:45:43 | 0:45:46 | |
The Irish parrot. AS PARROT: Who's a pretty...? | 0:45:46 | 0:45:49 | |
Um... | 0:45:49 | 0:45:50 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:45:50 | 0:45:53 | |
No, this fellow's got this parrot, you see, | 0:45:53 | 0:45:55 | |
and he's teaching it how to speak | 0:45:55 | 0:45:57 | |
and all it will say is, "Who is it?", like that. | 0:45:57 | 0:46:00 | |
So, he went out to work one morning. | 0:46:00 | 0:46:03 | |
Half an hour later, there's a knock on the door and the parrot says, | 0:46:03 | 0:46:06 | |
"Who is it?", like that. | 0:46:06 | 0:46:08 | |
"It's the plumber. I've come to mend your pipes. | 0:46:08 | 0:46:10 | |
"Would you let me in, please?" And the parrot went, "Who is it?" | 0:46:10 | 0:46:13 | |
In the end, he's screaming like mad, he had a heart attack, | 0:46:13 | 0:46:16 | |
-dropped dead on the stairs. AUDIENCE: -Ah... | 0:46:16 | 0:46:18 | |
Five o'clock, the chap came home from work. | 0:46:18 | 0:46:20 | |
He looked down, there's a body there. He said, "Who is it?" | 0:46:20 | 0:46:23 | |
The parrot said, "It's the plumber. He's come to mend your pipes." | 0:46:23 | 0:46:26 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:46:26 | 0:46:29 | |
Listen, what I've done this year | 0:46:34 | 0:46:36 | |
is I have actually made my own New Year's resolution | 0:46:36 | 0:46:39 | |
never to sing again. | 0:46:39 | 0:46:41 | |
But it's not 12 o'clock, | 0:46:41 | 0:46:43 | |
so you're going to have to cop for it. | 0:46:43 | 0:46:45 | |
Here we go. It's a nice one. | 0:46:45 | 0:46:47 | |
# You say that you must leave me | 0:46:48 | 0:46:52 | |
# That you and I must part | 0:46:52 | 0:46:56 | |
# Why should you want to grieve me? | 0:46:56 | 0:47:00 | |
# Why should you break my heart? | 0:47:01 | 0:47:06 | |
# Why did you make me care? | 0:47:07 | 0:47:13 | |
# Why bring me dreams so rare? | 0:47:14 | 0:47:20 | |
# You told me that sweethearts should never part | 0:47:21 | 0:47:27 | |
# Why did you leave me and break my heart? | 0:47:27 | 0:47:34 | |
# Why can't we meet once more? | 0:47:34 | 0:47:40 | |
# Why can't we love as before? | 0:47:41 | 0:47:48 | |
# This world seemed so rosy | 0:47:48 | 0:47:51 | |
# And life so fair | 0:47:51 | 0:47:55 | |
# Why did you make me care? # | 0:47:55 | 0:47:59 | |
You can all join in, if you like. Why did you make me care? Go on. | 0:47:59 | 0:48:02 | |
# Why did you make me care? # | 0:48:02 | 0:48:06 | |
Why bring me dreams so rare? | 0:48:06 | 0:48:08 | |
# Why bring me dreams so rare? # | 0:48:08 | 0:48:13 | |
You told me that sweethearts should never part | 0:48:13 | 0:48:15 | |
# You told me that sweethearts should never part. # | 0:48:15 | 0:48:20 | |
Why did you leave me and break my heart? | 0:48:20 | 0:48:22 | |
# Why did you leave me and break my heart? # | 0:48:22 | 0:48:27 | |
No, you're spoiling it. Leave it up to me. | 0:48:27 | 0:48:29 | |
# Why can't we meet once more? | 0:48:29 | 0:48:33 | |
# Why can't we love as before? | 0:48:35 | 0:48:41 | |
# This world seemed so rosy | 0:48:41 | 0:48:45 | |
# And life so fair | 0:48:45 | 0:48:49 | |
# Why did you make me care? # | 0:48:49 | 0:49:00 | |
Thank you. APPLAUSE | 0:49:00 | 0:49:03 | |
Once again, multipotent, | 0:49:11 | 0:49:14 | |
the Players Theatre plus one and indivisible, | 0:49:14 | 0:49:18 | |
Mr Danny La Rue! | 0:49:18 | 0:49:21 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:49:21 | 0:49:24 | |
# Come with me, come to the ball | 0:49:29 | 0:49:33 | |
# Music and merriment call | 0:49:33 | 0:49:37 | |
# Golden and gay are the lamps above | 0:49:37 | 0:49:42 | |
# Every tune is a song of love | 0:49:42 | 0:49:46 | |
# All of you come to the ball | 0:49:46 | 0:49:50 | |
# There will be welcome for all | 0:49:50 | 0:49:54 | |
# Chance for a dance and romance | 0:49:54 | 0:49:59 | |
# At the ball | 0:49:59 | 0:50:01 | |
# At the ball. # | 0:50:01 | 0:50:04 | |
# We'll have oysters and wine at 2am | 0:50:04 | 0:50:08 | |
# 2am | 0:50:08 | 0:50:10 | |
# 2am | 0:50:10 | 0:50:12 | |
# Oysters and wine at 2am | 0:50:12 | 0:50:16 | |
# Oysters and wine at 2 | 0:50:16 | 0:50:20 | |
# Oysters and wine at 2. # | 0:50:20 | 0:50:26 | |
-# Champagne Charlie is my name -Champagne Charlie is his name | 0:50:28 | 0:50:32 | |
-# Champagne drinking is my game -Champagne drinking is his game | 0:50:32 | 0:50:35 | |
# Let's all have a glass of fizz, fizz, fizz | 0:50:35 | 0:50:38 | |
# I'll drink anything there is, is, is | 0:50:38 | 0:50:42 | |
-# Champagne Charlie is my name -Champagne Charlie is his name | 0:50:42 | 0:50:46 | |
-# Champagne drinking is my game -Champagne drinking is his game | 0:50:46 | 0:50:49 | |
# Good for any game at night, boys | 0:50:49 | 0:50:53 | |
# Who'll come and join us on a spree? # | 0:50:53 | 0:50:56 | |
-# Clicquot -Clicquot -Clicquot -Clicquot | 0:50:57 | 0:50:59 | |
# That's the stuff to make you jolly | 0:50:59 | 0:51:00 | |
-# Clicquot -Clicquot -Clicquot -Clicquot | 0:51:00 | 0:51:02 | |
# Soon will banish melancholy | 0:51:02 | 0:51:04 | |
-# Clicquot -Clicquot -Clicquot -Clicquot | 0:51:04 | 0:51:06 | |
# Drinking other wine is folly | 0:51:06 | 0:51:08 | |
-# Clicquot -Clicquot -Clicquot -Clicquot | 0:51:08 | 0:51:10 | |
# That's the drink for me. # | 0:51:10 | 0:51:11 | |
# Good wines if you can afford them | 0:51:11 | 0:51:13 | |
# Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la | 0:51:13 | 0:51:15 | |
# Soon do away with boredom | 0:51:15 | 0:51:16 | |
# Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la | 0:51:16 | 0:51:18 | |
# Champagne will make you glad, sir | 0:51:18 | 0:51:20 | |
# I know because I've had some | 0:51:20 | 0:51:22 | |
# A rosy glow inside you | 0:51:22 | 0:51:24 | |
# No steps to guide you | 0:51:24 | 0:51:26 | |
# A toast, a toast | 0:51:26 | 0:51:28 | |
# To get the glasses raising | 0:51:28 | 0:51:30 | |
# Join with us in raising | 0:51:30 | 0:51:31 | |
# The one you love the most | 0:51:31 | 0:51:33 | |
# A toast, a toast | 0:51:33 | 0:51:35 | |
# A toast | 0:51:35 | 0:51:37 | |
# Champagne is a wine that flows, it seems | 0:51:37 | 0:51:39 | |
# King of wine, wine of kings | 0:51:39 | 0:51:41 | |
# Secret that the sparkle brings | 0:51:41 | 0:51:42 | |
# Tra-la-la-la, champagne. # | 0:51:42 | 0:51:44 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:52:06 | 0:52:09 | |
# Dear face that holds | 0:52:15 | 0:52:18 | |
# So sweet a smile for me | 0:52:18 | 0:52:21 | |
# Were you not mine | 0:52:22 | 0:52:24 | |
# How dark this world would be | 0:52:24 | 0:52:27 | |
# I know no light | 0:52:28 | 0:52:31 | |
# Above that could replace | 0:52:31 | 0:52:35 | |
# Love's radiant sunshine | 0:52:35 | 0:52:39 | |
# In your lovely face | 0:52:39 | 0:52:44 | |
# Give me your smile | 0:52:44 | 0:52:49 | |
# The lovelight in your eyes | 0:52:49 | 0:52:54 | |
# Life could not hold | 0:52:54 | 0:52:58 | |
# A fairer paradise | 0:52:58 | 0:53:03 | |
# Give me the right | 0:53:03 | 0:53:07 | |
# To love you all the while | 0:53:07 | 0:53:10 | |
# My world forever | 0:53:12 | 0:53:16 | |
# The sunshine of your smile | 0:53:16 | 0:53:21 | |
# Shadows may fall | 0:53:21 | 0:53:24 | |
# Across the land and sea | 0:53:24 | 0:53:28 | |
# Sunshine from all | 0:53:28 | 0:53:30 | |
# The world may hidden be | 0:53:30 | 0:53:34 | |
# But I shall see | 0:53:35 | 0:53:38 | |
# No clouds across the sun | 0:53:38 | 0:53:41 | |
# Your smile shall light | 0:53:43 | 0:53:46 | |
# My life till life is done | 0:53:46 | 0:53:53 | |
# Give me a smile | 0:53:53 | 0:53:57 | |
# The lovelight in your eyes | 0:53:57 | 0:54:03 | |
# Life could not hold | 0:54:03 | 0:54:06 | |
# A fairer paradise | 0:54:06 | 0:54:11 | |
# Give me the right | 0:54:11 | 0:54:15 | |
# To love you all the while | 0:54:15 | 0:54:20 | |
# My world forever | 0:54:21 | 0:54:26 | |
# The sunshine of your smile | 0:54:26 | 0:54:32 | |
# My world forever | 0:54:32 | 0:54:37 | |
# The sunshine of your smile. # | 0:54:37 | 0:54:49 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:54:49 | 0:54:52 | |
# Should auld acquaintance be forgot | 0:55:05 | 0:55:11 | |
# And never brought to mind | 0:55:11 | 0:55:15 | |
# Should auld acquaintance be forgot | 0:55:15 | 0:55:21 | |
# For the sake of auld lang syne | 0:55:21 | 0:55:26 | |
# For auld lang syne, my dear | 0:55:26 | 0:55:31 | |
# For auld lang syne | 0:55:31 | 0:55:36 | |
# We'll take a cup of kindness yet | 0:55:36 | 0:55:42 | |
# For the sake of auld lang syne | 0:55:42 | 0:55:46 | |
# Should auld acquaintance be forgot | 0:55:46 | 0:55:52 | |
# And never brought to mind | 0:55:52 | 0:55:57 | |
# Should auld acquaintance be forgot | 0:55:57 | 0:56:02 | |
# For the sake of auld lang syne | 0:56:02 | 0:56:07 | |
# For auld lang syne, my dear | 0:56:07 | 0:56:12 | |
# For auld lang syne | 0:56:12 | 0:56:17 | |
# We'll take a cup of kindness yet | 0:56:17 | 0:56:22 | |
# For the sake of auld lang syne. # | 0:56:22 | 0:56:34 |