Episode 4 The Quizeum

For almost 150 years, the Stirling museum and art gallery

has held the history, the heart

and the curiosities of Stirling in this magnificent little building.

And today, it's host to the Quizeum.

Welcome to a city that was once described as the brooch that

joins the Highlands to the Lowlands. We're in Stirling.

And no fewer than six great battles that decided the whole

future of Scotland have been fought near here.

Tonight, of course, we have another one. Ours is a battle of minds.

With four rounds of questions, drawing on just

some of the remarkable objects found in this wonderfully eclectic museum.

We have two teams ready to fight to the death.

On my right, battle scarred Quizeum field marshal Lars Tharp.

He's joined by distinguished art historian,

television presenter and adopted Scot, Helen Rosslyn.

Facing them are commander of medieval art, Dr Janina Ramirez.

And with her, presenter, comedian, journalist, author,

Scottish patriot, Hardeep Singh Kohli.

Welcome, all. Welcome to Stirling.

-Do you know Stirling well, Lars?

-No.

-Oh, OK. What about you, Hardeep?

-Yes.

It's sort of the heart of Scotland,

so you'd come here for discounted shopping.

-And to see the castle.

-Yes.

Although, funnily enough, there's also a pub on the

Great Western Road in Glasgow called Stirling Castle,

and I once drunkenly got into a cab and asked to go to Stirling Castle.

45 quid later, I was here, long after closing hours.

-So, still smarts slightly.

-And which was better, in your opinion?

Eq... Equally valid.

Well, my plan in this first round is to try and get

a handle on the nature of this wee museum that we've found ourselves in.

Because it is quite a wee museum, Helen, isn't it? Quite a small one.

It's rather lovely. It's just like walking through a house.

So, fingers on your buzzers, because I'm going to ask a question, it's

open to both teams, and if you give the right answer,

you get a point and first go at a more complicated specialist

question, which is worth two points.

Have a look at this, this is a painting from the 1660s

by Johannes Vorstermans.

It is the oldest painting, in oils, of Stirling,

but which river are we sitting on?

BUZZER

-Yes.

-It is the Forth.

-The Forth.

So you get the specialist question.

Now, have a look at this painting here.

Can you tell me why did it not get the exhibition

that its painter desired?

Because it was quite controversial at the time.

It's by Thomas Stuart Smith, who founded the museum,

and it was all about the abolition of slavery.

And it's called The Pipe Of Freedom.

And, really, he was quite novel in using black

men as the celebrated protagonists of paintings.

Because normally they were just incidental in the 19th century.

So, therefore, he didn't get an exhibition

-because it was not in favour at the time.

-Excellent.

This painting, The Pipe Of Freedom,

was completed by Thomas Stuart Smith between 1862 and 1868,

and it shows a freed slave enjoying a pipe of tobacco.

The borough provided the site for this museum.

Smith provided his own art collection in 1874,

but it is much more than a collection of art here.

It has many significant curiosities, and so here's another opener.

BUZZER Nina.

It's the world's oldest football?

That's not the question I've got written down here. Oh, no!

The question I have written here is, "This is believed to be

"the oldest football in the world to the nearest 50 years. How old is it?"

And it has to go over this side.

I would guess, being Shakespearean and before... You...

18... 1540. Would that do?

Well done.

This ball was found in Mary Queen of Scots' bedroom,

in Stirling Castle, behind the panelling, in the 1970s.

And they think it might have been kicked up there by somebody

while they were building. I'm sorry, you see, you fell into my trap.

What makes it worse is that now I've realised that Scotland

haven't qualified for a World Cup knockout stages since 1540.

I thought it was just since 1932.

Lars and Helen, on that note, we are going to pass on to your bonus

question, because I want you to tell me

why this lump of black basalt

-coming in...

-Oh, my goodness.

-..is a rival to the football.

-What's this groove in the top?

It's got a dimple in the back, and it's got a groove here,

so the idea is that whoever was using this, for whatever it was,

is holding it like this. It's not curling, is it, do you suppose?

-JANINA:

-It is.

-I think it's curling.

-Well done.

-So what's your answer?

-We think it's a curling stone.

-OK. And how would it rival the football?

-Oh, it's the oldest curling stone.

-It is the oldest curling stone.

This was found in the Milton Bog, not far from here.

They also found the oldest rusty shopping trolley in the world.

LAUGHTER

-That I believe, yes.

-But they got the money back on that one.

Let's go onto another opening question.

Can you tell me who was this visitor to Stirling?

-BUZZER

-Bonnie Prince Charlie.

-Bonnie Prince Charlie.

You pick up another...

HE LAUGHS

Well done. Charles Edward Louis

John Casimir Sylvester Severino Maria Stuart,

"The Young Pretender". And he was given the key to

Stirling on 6 January 1746.

It wasn't actually returned until 1960.

I do a bit the same sometimes with hotel keys myself.

It's quite interesting, that portrait,

cos it's painted by somebody called Cosmo Alexandra,

and I think it was actually painted in Rome,

because after the Jacobite uprising, so many Jacobites fled to Rome

and he made his money painting portraits, in Rome, of Jacobites.

-There was a sort of sense of artists going where the money was.

-Yes.

You get a specialist question. What was this fan

intended to support?

-Intended to support.

-I'm going to pick it up.

-Is it Chinese?

-Be very, very careful.

-I'm going to be very careful with it, don't worry.

-Well, on the top left, that's surely Stirling Castle.

-Yes.

It's obviously a piece of propaganda.

And there is this fella here who has a kneeling Highlander in plaid,

whilst all the other Highlanders seem to be going over the river.

Ah! And they are pursued by Hanoverians.

So I reckon that the gentleman on the horse could be

-Butcher Cumberland.

-Indeed, you're quite right.

The Duke of Cumberland and the Hanoverian regime.

It is an anti-Jacobite fan that the ladies of Stirling were

expected to display in the Duke's presence.

Because it portrays the siege of Stirling in 1746,

which was yet another siege at Stirling.

There were a lot of sieges going on at that time, but if you

build your town on a strategic site, you have to expect a few sieges.

In reality, Cumberland had few real fans here.

-Oh!

-Mm-hm.

-They love panto in Scotland, don't they, Hardeep?

-Oh, no, they don't.

LAUGHTER

Stirling also has a distinguished history of trade industry

and learning, reflected in the museum. Now, look at this.

This is another opener question, so fingers on buzzers.

This is one of the rarest treasures in the museum.

It's about 12 inches long.

It was made around 1790, but why was it made?

BUZZER

It...was made to...

take coal...from Stirling to Edinburgh.

It is about 12 inches long.

LAUGHTER

Very small amounts.

Quality coal. No, I've got to offer it over to the other side.

-Why was it made?

-I think it was made because it is a very early study

-of steam locomotion.

-Yes.

-It predates any of the larger versions.

-Yes.

And I think it was the smallest that could get in motion at this stage.

-It is very early.

-None of you are really getting close to this.

It was made as a demonstration model,

to show the capabilities of steam power, to create locomotion.

Because at this stage, most of the steam engines that were being

made were being used as pumps, to simply pump out mines.

So this is the very early stages of the idea of locomotion,

before people thought of putting them on rails or anywhere.

This is a man called Murdoch. Now, he...

he worked with another Scottish engineer and steam pioneer.

Who was that? BUZZER

-James Watt.

-James Watt. OK, well done.

An energy-related specialist question goes to you.

All right, have a look at this. It's a miner's banner.

Familiar enough, from the 1980s miners' strike.

But why was it never displayed at a picket line at its own colliery?

Was there a mining accident before the strike

and they felt it was in bad taste to put up a banner?

I can't think of any other...

I'll accept that as an answer, but it is a wrong answer.

Is it because they didn't go on strike?

No, it isn't actually, it's the opposite.

The strike was so solid, they didn't need a picket line.

-They didn't even need to picket.

-Everybody was at it.

It was one of the strongest collieries

against the mine closures in the country.

So, another buzzer, quick question, to gain the advantage.

Fingers on the buzzers here.

Who would have worn one of these?

BUZZER

-A beggar.

-It was indeed a beggar.

It was a beggar's badge for the town of Dysart.

You were given this by the town council,

and it was your licence to beg. You get the extra question.

What might you have to beg for

from the wearer of this cap,

had you travelled from Dysart to Edinburgh

in 1828?

-A very significant date.

-1828. Dysart to Edinburgh.

Well, it is a military style hat, but it's got a huge visor

and it's got earflaps. So this suggests it's winter. Fuel, maybe.

-Would it help you guys to have a look at it?

-Yes, please.

It's a deerskin cap.

The date was 1828.

-The streets were dark. And if this man came towards you wearing this cap.

-Would you beg for a light?

-Not for a light.

-Gas, no?

-Not for gas.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to tell you. You'd have to beg for your life.

This is William Burke's.

-Oh, God!

-Really?

-Interesting.

HE GASPS

That does send a shiver.

Hardeep, tell me about William Burke?

Edinburgh being the Athens of the North, the city of the Enlightenment,

where the most pronounced breakthroughs in western

surgery took place, the requirement for raw materials,

if you will, was very much prized.

So Burke and Hare used to go up

and find bodies to hand over to the medical specialists.

And in the end, they couldn't find enough bodies,

so they took to providing a few bodies of their own.

And I imagine beggars numbered amongst them.

I saw Lars do exactly what I did when you said whose hat it was.

-You recoiled.

-Yeah, absolutely.

It's a really unpleasant object to be in the presence of.

OK. Well, wait on. Wait on.

Because this is indeed the deerskin cap worn by William Burke,

the grave robber and murderer,

who was indeed caught and executed.

With his accomplice, William Hare,

he committed at least 16 murders to provide bodies for anatomists.

But the museum also possesses

-a piece of Burke's skin...

-Oh!

..tanned and set in a frame.

-Oh, God!

-Should we have a look at it?

-Yes.

There it is.

And as souvenirs go from Scotland,

I think I prefer a tin of shortbread.

We're moving on because Stirling is also at the centre of the world,

so fingers on the buzzers.

In 1904, a field was found at Raploch Farm,

near this city, for this man to mount his show.

Who is he?

BUZZER

Buffalo Bill.

Ah!

-Well done. It is indeed.

-So quick today.

-Buffalo Bill.

So, it is your specialist question.

During a royal visit in 1901,

the Duke of York was presented with a feather from the huia bird.

How did this presentation help precipitate the bird's demise?

It was in a box like this.

Presumably, if this was well-known that he had been presented with

this feather, presumably everybody wanted to have one,

and the poor old bird didn't have enough feathers to go around.

Yes, that's exactly what happened.

They presented the sacred feathers of this bird to the Prince of Wales,

and everybody at home said,

"Those are pretty feathers, I'll have them in a hat."

So suddenly there was a real run on these

feathers across New Zealand, and the poor bird became extinct.

So, at the end of our first round, how are the scores looking?

Well, Nina and Hardeep, you haven't made a score yet.

You are at zero at the moment, but don't despair.

Although, Lars and Helen, you have made 14.

You've just got all the points going there, both of you. Good.

OK, but everything could change. That's what it says.

Everything could change with the next round,

a question of attribution.

Now, this is what happens. A mysterious object

from the Stirling Smith collection

is coming to the table for each team.

They'll give two differing accounts of what the object is,

and their opponents have to work out which of these is true.

These have three points on offer for the best barefaced liars.

So, can we bring in the object?

Here we are.

OK. So, Lars, you're first up to convince us.

You're in full possession of the facts about this

object in front of Nina and Hardeep.

Well, if you'd been in the St Giles district of London

and visiting their local Mothercare

in the 17th or, for that matter,

the 18th century, you would have found a stock of these.

And they would be particularly useful

if you were a wet nurse.

Because, of course, as we all know, we get very sore nipples

-when we suckle babies.

-We do.

-We do.

This was a gizmo, a device to help women

who were suffering from that particular complaint.

And if you look in Hogarth's Gin Lane,

you will see a wet nurse who's obviously lost her nipple guard.

Lars, I can see you can go on about this for quite a long time

and give us all sorts of reference points, but I have to leave it.

So, Helen, do you have a different opinion of what this object might be?

Yes, I do.

This is in fact a boil purger.

And if you imagine, in the 18th century,

medical doctors were really beginning to take themselves very

seriously, but their knowledge was not nearly as good

as their equipment.

So this was an integral part of their equipment.

You would grease the outside, you would put it on the wound

and then the assistant - not the medical practitioner himself -

would suck the puss out through the little holes that you can

see in the top.

And by that means, you would determine

-whether it was yellow bile, black bile or simple phlegm.

-OK.

It is either a sort of...

heavy metal nipple guard,

or a sort of boil sucker.

I think Helen... There is something about the medical

and the Enlightenment history of Scotland

that makes me think this is...

I also think that with the nipple guard explanation,

I can't see how a newborn is going to particularly, easily get

-a grip on this and make it work.

-So you are choosing Helen's account?

-Yes.

-OK. So, Helen, can I ask you, is that really

a boil sucking device?

-It is not.

-Oh!

No!

It is a solid pewter nipple protector.

So it is your chance to bamboozle the opposition now.

Nina, would you like to explain what the object is?

This was originally in parts, in three separate parts.

It's pewter, 18th century.

And what would have originally happened is that you would

put cigars into those holes.

You know, in a gentleman's club,

someone may wish to help themselves to a cigar or to be brought a cigar.

It is a 18th-century cigar holder.

OK. Thank you very much, Nina.

And, Hardeep, you have a different opinion.

This was originally, as Nina says, it was in three parts

and the handle was added. But when you joined...

This is particularly for the Bank of Scotland.

When you joined as a junior manager at the Bank of Scotland,

you were given one of these

and you would have a gold sovereign for each year you served. And as you moved up...

You'd be a junior, then you'd be middle manager,

the two were joined together.

And then when you became senior manager - you got a sovereign for each one.

So it's six times six, you'd get six sovereigns in each.

So you would have 36 sovereigns in each.

The more senior you were in the bank,

-the more money you would have to live on thereafter.

-OK.

So your choice, I think, is between a sort of metal

cigar dispenser

and a pewter piggy bank.

I think Nina's thing is quite convincing.

If you were keeping track of how many cigars you'd sold to table number two or three or four,

you could simply count the number of cigars that weren't there.

But sovereigns are too big to go into this hole.

Unless it's a Scottish sovereign.

We are known for our pecunious-ness. so, yes.

Do you feel that... I think you know.

I think you're right, because I was just wondering about the numbers.

So, Helen, which are you going to choose, then?

I think we're going to choose Nina.

So, Nina, is it a cigar dispenser?

Well, continuing our glorious run, they are of course right,

and it is a cigar dispenser.

-Well done.

-SHE LAUGHS

Right. Yes. It's a 19th-century cigar holder,

which might have been used in a gentleman's club.

So, after that dalliance with wilful deception,

Lars and Helen now have 20 points,

and Nina and Hardeep...

are yet to score, but don't despair!

HE LAUGHS

Don't despair, Nina, because we will...we are now off.

The time has come for me to take each team on a guided tour,

and encounter some of the museum's key objects at close quarters.

Lars and Helen - you're coming first.

We're going to stop here in front of this magnificent portrait.

What I'm looking for is a sort of join the dots.

I want five dots to take me from this portrait,

which I can tell you is by Joseph Denovan Adam,

and this piece of tartan.

Every time I give you a clue, you're going to lose a point.

So, what do we see here? What is this?

-Highland cattle.

-Yeah.

-Highland tartan.

-Yes.

-Highland tartan. That's good.

-Start somewhere.

-Yes, all right! That's a point. That sounds fair enough.

-Great.

But tell me what's happening with these cattle.

-They're being driven by drovers.

-Drovers.

They're being driven by drovers.

Good. So, you're going to get a point.

That means I can show you this clue.

I don't have to show you this clue, but I want to give you it,

because I like it.

What do you suppose that is?

A hoof from the...

-cattle.

-Yes, it is, isn't it?

And it's a badly worn cattle toenail

that's now being protected by a steel or iron hoof or shoe, I guess.

So, how does that relate to this?

Let's get through droving first.

Droving or driving cattle,

or sheep or whatever it is, is to take them from the summer

pastures to the winter pastures and then on to market.

So, you go from Highland to Lowland.

You're perfectly right,

and cattle were driven from the far extremes of the Highlands,

from as far away as Skye, to come to the Lowlands, to market to Falkirk,

-and therefore, they passed...

-Across Stirling Bridge?

Across Stirling Bridge.

But so, as they came through the Highlands...

..who's this?

Well, YOU don't recognise it.

Do you want the clue as to that?

-I...

-OK, it's a McGregor tartan.

I can see you're both staring at me blankly. I'm going to have to...

-Are we into Braveheart territory? No, not Braveheart.

-No.

No, another film.

-Liam Neeson running around. No?

-You're going to have to...

You're not... All right, I'm going to have to give you another clue.

You're losing your points here.

-Rob Roy MacGregor.

-Oh...

Have you heard of Rob Roy MacGregor?

Yes, but I'm not a big Walter Scott fan or aficionado.

Well, Rob Roy MacGregor lived in various places.

These cattle came on their way,

on the drover's roads down to the Lowlands,

and Rob Roy himself extracted a tax from them

in the form of black cattle, which was known as...

-Um... Roy's tithe.

-No. Black mail.

-Black... Oh...

-Black mail!

Hence the origin of blackmail.

Blackmail will never be the same now.

It's quite a complicated story we're eking out here,

and so I'm going to give you three points for that. Well done.

-Very generous.

-Thank you.

And I think it's time for me to go and test the other team.

I'm lost here.

So, you understand the idea?

I'm wanting you to make a connection between this work of art

and this, I was going to say work of art,

but let's just call it a portrait, over there.

You have five steps to make.

I have five clues I can give you, but if I start to give you clues,

-you start to lose points.

-OK.

So, let's start with this.

-Well, I know who that is.

-OK, well, tell me who it is.

-Blind Harry.

-Yes, who's Blind Harry?

-The poet.

So, Hardeep, do you know?

-Because Nina obviously does. Do you know who Blind Harry was?

-No.

-Or Henry...

-He wrote 12 volumes of poetry.

-In the 15th century.

-In the 15th century.

I'm going to give you a point.

It's the best extant example of Medieval Scots.

-How is your Medieval Scots?

-I studied Scottish literature at university.

-Yes.

-I still sometimes speak Medieval Scot,

but I need to have quite a wee bit of whiskey to do it!

THEY LAUGH

So, who, Hardeep, did he write his poetry about?

-I think... Can I have a stab?

-Yes.

-Is it Robert the Bruce?

-Not Robert the Bruce.

-Is it William Wallace?

-It'd be William Wallace, then, wouldn't it?

-I'm going to give you a point for William Wallace.

-Well done.

So, what is the connection between William Wallace and Stirling?

William Wallace was triumphant at the Battle of Stirling Bridge,

on 11 September 1297.

Wow. OK, very good. So, can you...

Well, we've all seen the film, I hope.

They based the film of Braveheart

largely on the poem that Harry wrote.

Hardeep, what happens in the film,

and what happens in the actual battle, effectively?

The English were routed, and it was a successful uprising.

Then of course, he was captured.

But actually, what Wallace did...

Many argue without Wallace, there'd be no Bruce in terms of...

coagulating, if you like, the Scottish sense of themselves.

You're completely right about the idea of Scottish independence.

The idea of Scotland was preserved by Wallace as a sense.

But who is this?

-Can I give you a clue?

-Yes.

Here in Scotland, very popular, is a type of biscuit,

made of wheat and raisins.

Garibaldi.

JANINA LAUGHS

-Yes!

-Is it?

-Yes! Garibaldi!

-So, who is this?

-This is...Gari...

-Garibaldi.

-Garibaldi!

Garibaldi! JANINA LAUGHS

OK...good.

So, we're getting closer. HE LAUGHS

-Well, it's the freedom-fighting thing, isn't it? No? Am I...?

-Yes.

-They wouldn't...

-You're certainly on the right track.

Between Scotland and South America, weren't there?

-Not South America, Italy.

-Sorry...

Garibaldi's in Italy, leading the unification.

So, it's freedom fighters

and the idea that people who were thinking in the 19th century

about Scottish identity, and that becoming a national issue,

saw in Garibaldi, saw him as a hero,

and they called him the...of Italy.

-The...

-The Wallace.

-The Wallace!

But, I mean, you'd be a bit cheesed off if you unified a country,

and all they did was name a biscuit after you, do you know what I mean?

So, well done. I'm going to give you...four points.

We'd better go back and see what that does to our totals.

At the end of that round, as you remember, you two scored three,

but you've broken your duck,

because these two scored four, so...

-We have points!

-So, we have points.

Lars and Helen, you're now with 23,

and Nina and Hardeep are bringing up the rear,

and coming up to catch you up with...four.

We enter our final quickfire round.

There's one point for a correct answer, but if nobody gets it, we move swiftly on.

Fingers on buzzers, then, for your first question.

This roof boss from Stirling Castle appears to be an early

-satire of Margaret Thatcher, but who was it meant to be?

-Apollo.

Apollo, well done, Nina. That's a point.

This is a kapkap from the Solomon Islands.

Whereabouts on the body would you wear it?

-On your chest.

-Not on your chest.

-I'll offer it over to you.

-Head.

On your head, on your forehead.

You get a point there.

Look at this.

Can you tell me who it is?

-It's...

-SCOTTISH ACCENT:

-Sir Walter Scott.

It is Sir Walter Scott.

This wooden beaver hung outside a Stirling shop.

What did the shop sell?

-Furs.

-Furs? No.

I'm offering it over to you.

Ha...hats?

Hats? Yes, I'll give you a point for that.

Who is this figure intended to represent?

Justice.

Justice, Nina, you're quite right.

This is the mother of two Scottish sports stars. Who is she?

-Judy Murray.

-Well done, Nina.

You get a point there.

Who would have worn this costume?

A tiger hunter.

Not a tiger hunter, no.

Hardeep, Nina, it's with you.

-Quickly?

-A dragoon.

Not a dragoon, no.

It was Chinese soldiers in the Second Opium War.

Which partnership's works is commemorated in these gates?

I would say Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire.

No, not Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire. JANINA LAUGHS

Gilbert and Sullivan.

Lars, you get a point there.

Which regiment do these soldiers belong to?

-Scots Highlanders.

-Not Scots Highlanders, no.

-Black Watch.

-The Black Watch.

Well done, Lars. Yes. It's the Black Watch tartan.

BELL RINGS OK, well, there we are.

That's the most recent Battle of Stirling coming to an end there,

and I'm just adding up the scores,

because I can conclude that our winners today...

are Lars and Helen.

You've got 27, but you came back a bit in that last round,

and you got 8 points. Well done.

Thank you to all our contestants.

Thank you to the Stirling Smith Museum.

What a terrific city miscellany this is.

Everything from blue whale bones to Buffalo Bill.

All Stirling, all Scotland and all of us

have been contained in this little museum.

Everybody's done what I can't resist describing as sterling work.

No...I should have resisted that, shouldn't I?

Good night.