Episode 7 The Quizeum

Masks, amulets, costumes and crowns,

taxidermy, skeletons and idols.

All human life, and indeed animal life as well, appears to be

here at the Horniman Museum in south-east London.

And today it's host to The Quizeum.

Welcome to an exotic adventure, here in darkest Forest Hill.

We are in the shadow of a slightly overstuffed Odobenus rosmarus.

The Horniman walrus who dominates the Natural History galleries,

here where we sit. And coming up, an eclectic and stimulating

collection of musical instruments, life instruments,

even death instruments, incorporating magic, ritual, sound and fury.

Ready for four rounds of really difficult...knotty,

horribly disconcerting,

gnomic and impenetrable questions on all subjects are our teams.

Long-serving Quizeum fixture, but in no way overstuffed himself,

Lars Tharp.

HE LAUGHS

Lars is joined today by biologist, diver

and wildlife presenter Miranda Krestovnikoff.

Now, Miranda is also a flutist for the New Bristol Sinfonia Orchestra

and has presented the BBC Proms. And Lars is an accomplished cellist.

So I expect you are both hoping for some questions on the huge

-collection of musical instruments here, aren't you?

-Please.

-Some hope.

Don't look at me, I'm not giving anything away.

Facing them are regular team leader and art expert Nina Ramirez.

She's joined forces with our go-to globetrotter

and ethnographic whizz kid Benedict Allen.

And I expect you two are hoping for questions about the High Renaissance

-art of Papa New Guinea.

-Yes.

-So do you have any musical skills, Nina?

-I dabble a bit on the bass guitar.

-Oh, good.

So you'll recognise some of the musical instruments...

-I will have a go.

-Of course.

And the Horniman is a sort of museum of old school charm, I think,

-don't you think, Benedict?

-Yes, I love its eclecticness.

It seems very random, sort of...

-A man's passions are here.

-Yeah.

It's really worth a visit. And it's great that we are here

because we are going to go on to our first round.

Fingers on the buzzers to win one point

and first go at a more difficult specialist question worth two.

Now, have a look at this from Nigeria.

Can you tell me, who are the figures to either side of the policeman here?

BUZZER

-Nina.

-It looks like Princess Anne. But I don't think it is.

-SHE LAUGHS

Princess Anne. It is not Princess Anne.

So I'm handing it over to the other side. Do you want to have a guess?

He looks like Claude Rains in Casablanca, which would mean that

the man in the middle has walked on stage in the wrong part of the film.

It looks like a woman in the middle.

Claude Rains is a good guess, but in fact you were closer, Nina,

-because it is Charles and Diana.

-Oh!

So we are staying with this object

because we didn't get a right answer there.

So what kind of dress is Diana wearing in this?

BUZZER

-Nina.

-A wedding dress.

-A wedding dress, correct.

-Yes!

You do get the specialist question.

OK, and this object is going to come in.

All right, here's your question.

This is a preacher who journeyed the equivalent of ten times

around the world...in the 18th century. Who is he?

And why is this an appropriate image?

-Well...

-18th century.

Benedict just said that this is made of a vertebra.

Is it part of a...

-whale perhaps?

-Not...

Or a big creature that travels around the world.

I'm going to have to give you, very carefully, the question again.

He journeyed the equivalent of ten times

around the world in the 18th century.

The equivalent of ten times around the globe.

You've sort of identified only that it's a vertebra.

I'm coming over to Lars now,

who is desperate to come in with an estimate of what it is.

-He has a methodical look about him.

-Ah!

And I think it is one of the two Wesleys.

-One of the two Wesleys, so you're going to take...

-John.

John Wesley, completely correct. Well done.

So it is John Wesley, and the vertebra of wherefore?

The only indigenous British animal I can think of would be an ox,

or a horse. But it is too big for a horse.

It is not too big for a horse. It's a horse. It's a horse.

So I'm going to give you two points for that, I think.

John Wesley was the co-founder, of course, of Methodism.

And it is claimed that he rode 250,000 miles around Britain,

preaching 40,000 sermons,

travelling on the back of a horse.

And his image here is painted on the vertebra of a horse,

and it is apparently quite a good likeness.

THEY LAUGH

So, stand by for another opening question.

The instrument here saw youth in compositions by Handel,

Berlioz, Mozart and Wagner amongst others.

It's a serpent, but which instrument

has supplanted it in the orchestra?

BELL AND BUZZER

You were first, Lars.

The ophicleide... and thence a brass instrument,

which would be a tuba.

Well, the answer I have on my card

-is not an ophicleide but in fact a tuba.

-Yes.

So you get your specialist question here. Have a look at this object.

This dates from the mid-17th century.

Why did this and its occupant

come in differing weights?

-Well, of course, immediately it looks like the top of an outside privy.

-Mm-hm.

But it isn't.

It's a cangue, it's a cangue,

which were portable stocks for malefactors in China.

What was it called again?

-A cangue.

-A cangue.

-It's like a shirt collar.

So you've identified it's a cangue.

But can you tell me why it came in different weights?

Well, there would be different weights for...appropriate to the

-punishment.

-OK, good. So you get the point there.

But why might it, as it were, the owner

or the recipient of the cangue also come in different weights?

Well, they didn't differentiate malefactors by their height.

So they wouldn't have differentiated them by their weight.

No, because there's another value to this punishment.

-I'm going to pass it over to Nina.

-What I'm thinking is...

He said he is leaving me to it now. If they come...

If the person was bigger and stronger,

could they pull themselves free? So they had to be sturdier.

No, that is a good idea. But that is not the reason why it had an effect on people's weight.

-No other suggestions?

-The people...

No, it is just simply that you cannot feed yourself.

However much food you've got down here, you're not in a position to

reach around the cangue to actually serve yourself any food.

And it is indeed a punishment device, so you were right there,

and I'm going to give you one point for that.

The writing on this cangue indicates it was used in Shanghai.

It lists also the date of the prisoner's release.

And I'm not sure even...if an even worse form of punishment,

the occupant could even read that.

So he was probably going, "I'm going to be out of here soon." LAUGHTER

-"How long have I got?"

-"How long have I got left? I can't quite...

"I can't even look at the date on my watch."

But anyway, onto another question. Over to both teams.

Fingers on the buzzers. Now, have a look at this

image painted on fabric.

What celestial event does it depict?

BELL

-Lars.

-It is an eclipse.

-It is an eclipse.

It shows the demon Kala Rahu eating the sun.

And it is from Bali, in fact.

That means you get the specialist question.

This is a sculpture by the Mah Meri people

of Carey Island in Malaysia.

What creature do you think it represents?

And why might you have to pay about 15,000

for a quart of this creature's blood today?

Is it a horseshoe crab?

It's a horseshoe crab, correct.

What can you tell us about the horseshoe crab?

They meet en masse at a certain time of the moon, I think it is

probably full moon.

Where huge numbers gather on the beaches, where they breed

and scatter all their eggs.

And then a lot of them die, or just migrate back into the water.

But I don't know why...

Why would you pay up to

15,000 for a quart

of a horseshoe crab's blood?

-But a crab doesn't have blood.

-A crab does have blood.

-But not like our blood.

-It is different. That's significant.

-Is it fertility?

-It is not to do with fertility.

You've got one point, you've certainly identified it as the horseshoe crab.

I'm going to ask over here. Do you know... Does this ring a bell?

It's one of those stories that you might know about.

I just seem to remember there was a medical side to it all,

and it is to do with immunity, or it is to do with...

I think I can give you that point, indeed.

What happens is, they harvest the blood, and the blood is blue,

a bright baby blue.

And that blood is used to check

the sort of sterility of intravenous drugs

and things like pacemakers and everything, because they can

test whether there are toxins in the blood by using the crab's blood.

So, if you've ever had a flu injection,

the safety of that injection is dependent on the horseshoe crab

being hauled out of the sea and bled.

And after that, they give him a cup of tea and a biscuit,

and then sent back to the wild. THEY LAUGH

Feeling a little bit tired. But... Between you, you got closer.

You got a point each...for that. Fingers on the buzzers, please,

for another opening question.

This is a type of device that's been used by humans for almost

20,000 years. What is it?

BUZZER

I was going to say an amulet, but...

It is not an amulet.

So I'm going to have to hand it over to the other side.

It's a primitive map of Cambridgeshire.

THEY LAUGH

I was going to say, it is English,

but there's a little bit of a giveaway.

It comes from about 1900, and it is probably about this big.

OK, I'm going to give you a big clue here.

Let's imagine that you get the end of the bit of string, you can

-see it is merely baling twine, and you... BENEDICT:

-Bullroarer.

It's a bullroarer, so I will give you the point there. Bullroarer.

I've used many of these in New Guinea, you know.

It was an initiation ceremony to make me a man,

as strong as a crocodile.

And one of our duties was to throw the bullroarer around.

It makes this otherworldly noise,

makes people who are outside the initiation area,

the sort of sacred, secret area,

feel that there is something beyond this world happening.

I can't give you any more points because you got the point, but that's good.

-So you get the specialist question.

-Oh, wow!

Wonderful.

So, what was lost when this was made?

And how was this found?

Well, lost...

Are they talking about the lost wax method of bronze production?

OK, so you get the first point. Tell me about the lost wax method.

You'd create a mould out of wax, and craft all your detail,

and then, when you came to cast the mould, it would get such high heats

that the wax would melt away and leave you the cast for making...

That is correct. So how was this found?

That's to say, how did it find itself here?

Well, I imagine it was

because of the British punitive expedition of 1897, I think.

The British decided to give West Africa a bit of a hammering,

and Benin in particular, and there were great accounts written by the Portuguese,

the Dutch of these extraordinary kingdoms.

Originally, Europeans thought Africans couldn't possibly

have created art of this sort themselves,

it must come from Arabia, it must come from the earliest Europeans.

But the Africans, sure enough,

had discovered this process of working with bronze.

Actually, this would have been brass, although they are called Benin bronzes.

And the British looted the palaces and stripped the walls,

brought back this sort of stuff. And it was sold all over the place. The British Museum ended

up with some, the Horniman Museum, all sorts of museums around Europe.

That is a very complete and full answer,

and I think it gets you the full two points.

Well, at the end of the round, we have to see what scores

the teams have notched up on their tally sticks.

And, Lars, Miranda, you've got six points.

-Nina and Benedict, you are just behind with five.

-Oh!

But you really caught up at the end,

because at one point you only had one point, and they had six points.

But you came storming back, so it is very, very close now,

as we move onto the next round,

bringing two mysterious objects out of the vaults and onto our table.

And the question is, what on earth are they?

We are going to hear two explanations,

but only one of them is actually true.

It is up to the other team to decide,

using magic or divination...

auguries or just sheer cunning, which is right.

Three points if you get it.

Nina and Benedict, we'll hear from you first.

-Benedict, off you go.

-Yes.

Imagine, if you will, you live in the remotest parts of Eastern Europe

and you suddenly find your cow is not producing enough milk.

You think, "Uh-oh, something is going on here,

"some bit of witchery is happening."

And this is actually an Eastern European cow unbewitcher.

You pass it over the teat of your cow and try

and get rid of all the witchery, and in fact the last big witch trial

was about this process of robbing your neighbour's milk.

And the last two women burnt at the stake were

because of this very activity.

Nina, do you have another explanation for it?

I do. This is also from sort of Eastern Europe.

The second half of the 19th century.

And connected with the salt mines in Wieliczka.

Salt was very precious, like gold,

and so in the depths of these mines,

the salt was arranged in linen, rolled in linen

and to get the depth right, like an ingot of gold,

it was passed through this measure.

So, there we are. It's either...

a measure for salt,

or an udder repairer.

Which do you think?

They're both equally implausible, aren't they?

It looks like the thing I've got for measuring spaghetti at home.

When you want to do full portions of spaghetti,

-you put it through there.

-Yes.

-I don't think it is the salt thing.

I think to pull a sausage of salt through that would actually be

quite difficult. I think the old pliant udder thing is more likely.

-If...

-Now, I'm going to have to force you to make a choice...

Are you going for the udder?

-I'm going to go with udders.

-Up and udder.

It's up and udder. OK.

Is it a teat unbewitcher, Benedict?

It is indeed a teat unbewitcher.

Yes, that was a Polish cow unbewitcher.

If your cow had been bewitched, you had to get your hands on one

of these, and then Daisy was back to producing nothing but gold top.

But we have another object coming in,

and let's see how the other team get on.

-Lars, off you go.

-Prepare yourself for some Mozart.

HE HUMS MOZART'S OVERTURE TO THE ABDUCTION FROM THE SERAGLIO, K 384

You see, Mozart there, as you can tell,

is imitating the Janissary band of the seraglio.

And if you've ever been to Constantinople, Istanbul,

they have these big sticks with symbols on

and they're all dangly, dangly, dangly bits with chimes.

And when Mr Horniman was in that part of the world, he took a fancy to this,

because he collects musical instruments,

and he said, "I wouldn't mind some of those jangly bits."

Obviously, it was a difficult thing to do,

so he only came away with quite a small string, but he thought

that was enough to represent the Janissaries on their

-"jing, jing, jing."

-I see, OK.

So, Miranda, you have another idea for us about what they might be.

Well, these items are actually from an Iranian nail bar.

We don't know the date, but they are made of silver.

And in the days where the ladies of the harem

had their nails painted, they also had their toes painted with henna.

These are actually silver toe separators.

So the lady would go and she would balance her foot

on an alabaster or marble stone, and the toe spacers would

be inserted, and somebody would paint the henna on her toes.

OK. So you either have an Iranian toe spacer...

or an Ottoman tinkle.

Lars looks so pleased with himself. What does that mean?

-I think...

-Look at him grinning away.

-I think... I think.

-I'll go with you. What do you think?

-No, don't.

It's... I'm going with Lars, only just because I think people who

use henna know what they're doing, I don't think you need to separate...

-I think we will go with Lars.

-You're going to go with Lars.

Lars, are you right?

-No.

-No!

Yes, I'm so sorry to say.

-Do you not have a silver toe spacer at home?

-Congratulations to you two.

Iranian toes spacers.

Made in silver. Very old, very rare.

OK, that's the end of the round, so time to look at how that

altered the scores and, Nina and Benedict, you are stuck at five.

You didn't get the toe spacers.

So, Lars and Miranda, who managed to work out the cow unbewitcher,

have gone up to nine.

But we come to a parting of the ways, we're going to venture abroad

and take a guided tour. Nina and Benedict, you are first up.

I'm bringing you and two objects together, and I'm planning to

ask three questions, ultimately seeking the connection between them.

And there are three possible points to be gained here.

So, OK. There are these two objects here. There's this object here.

We are going to start by looking at the figure.

It was bought by the museum's founder, Frederick Horniman, in Calcutta.

What does it portray?

I'm really going to struggle with this.

I believe that this is...

It is Hindu, in as much as you've got Shiva represented.

-Is that right?

-Yes.

-And this is, I think, a goddess.

I can't remember the name. It is something...

-Something beginning with K? Help me out.

-Kali.

-Kali? No.

Benedict, you are quite right.

The two of you are working together very well. So, Kali?

Kali is a goddess of...

death, of revenge, of anger.

-Um...

-Darkness.

-Darkness.

-Emptiness.

-Emptiness.

-Yes. And you're quite right, this is Shiva.

-Shiva, yes.

So what do you think Shiva is doing,

here with Kali, who is his consort?

Is this something to do with movement from life to death?

-Is this some sort of transition between this?

-No, it is not. No.

This is Kali, who has just

saved the world from a demon,

by swallowing the demon.

Every time she swallowed the demon, or bit a bit off him,

1,000 demons would rise up.

That's one of the reasons that's given for her tongue hanging out,

because she's licking up the blood of those demons.

And yet she conquers the demon,

she goes into such an ecstasy that she starts dancing.

And Shiva has to lie down in order to prevent her

destroying the world with her dancing.

So I thought you did pretty well by identifying Kali and Shiva.

So I'm definitely going to give you a point for that.

So, your second question is, where was this money

-legal tender?

-Chinese.

Chinese, yes. Early money.

These themselves aren't early, they are modern.

They are actually pretend money. Is this possible?

It is a sort of symbolic money that you give to a god, goddess

for appeasement or for... as an offering.

-But it is not real.

-That is absolutely correct.

-Well done, you.

So they are not...

It is not real money, it is fake money, so where was it legal tender?

-In the afterlife.

-In the afterlife. In the other world. Well done.

Yes, you get two points for that, that is exactly what it is.

-It is known as hell money.

-Hell money.

Because people became confused about the idea of the afterlife.

They were told by missionaries they would go to hell,

so they confused their own afterlife with hell,

because hell is in fact the court that dead people go to.

Their life is looked into by the Lord of the Earthly Court,

Yan Wang, and it is thought that you might need money there.

All right, so how do these two objects share the same beginning

-and a similar end?

-Birth and death, beginning and end?

-No, not...

I'm afraid it is not to do with anything to do with

-their symbolic value, but just as objects.

-How they were made.

Well... Oh, God, is she papier-mache?

THEY LAUGH

I'm going to give you one point.

-She is papier-mache.

-OK, papier-mache.

So there's your beginning sorted out, they are both made of paper.

-Paper, right.

-And what end did they both share?

-Did they both burn?

-Close enough. They are both made to be destroyed.

-Yes!

This going into the holy, to be washed away in the river.

And these to be burnt. But anyway, well done.

I'll give you all the points there. Let's go see how the others get on.

'It's the same challenge.

'Answer three questions to find the connection between two objects.'

So, here we are in the collection of musical instruments.

And we are going to link it with the natural world.

But let's start with the keyboard instrument.

The inscription translates as, "Sweetness accomplishes more

"than violence."

But why might that be particularly true of this instrument, Miranda?

I'm trying to think what instrument that is, keyboard instrument.

And I can't actually see the mechanism from here,

so I can't really see how it is working.

-The clue's up there, so it is a long way from you.

-So there are hammers.

It is a clavichord.

And the difference between a clavichord

and any other keyboard instrument is that the clavichord tangents

actually touch the string, and stay touching on the string,

whilst your finger is pressed on the key.

-It is a much gentler sound.

-That's completely correct, and you get your point for that.

Here's your second question, Miranda.

What is this, and what purpose do the chambers within the shells serve?

This is a shell of a nautilus, and this is a sea creature.

And these go way back in the fossil record,

but the purpose of the different chambers are that the nautilus

can flood those chambers and then evacuate them with water,

and it acts rather like a submarine.

So it can go up and down, within the water column,

-by using those different chambers.

-So, it is a buoyancy...

-It is a buoyancy system.

-Absolutely correct.

That's one point to you for that.

So, for your connection, what rhythm connects the shell...

..and a keyboard instrument like this?

-Rhythm?

-What rhythm?

-Rhythm?

-Like...that sort of rhythm?

-HE SNAPS A SYNCOPATED RHYTHM

-Not rhythm like that.

-Not a beat.

-I'm afraid it's a bit of a pun here.

Ah, it's a mathematical relationship, or rhythm.

-Is it?

-It is, yeah.

There's got to be something to do with the size of those chambers

as you go round the spiral, them getting bigger and bigger,

and that must follow some sort of mathematical pattern, then.

If we call that chamber A, and that B and C, etc,

then the ratio between chamber A and B

is the same as the ratio between B and C.

In other words, it's an incremental,

but it goes up in the same ratio each time.

and the same applies to the scale.

It is, indeed. Effectively, the rhythm I'm looking for,

-the word I'm looking for is logarithm.

-Oh, OK.

It's a logarithmic scale.

It's an exponential growth,

so the shell grows with a consistent ratio,

and so does a musical scale.

Good, well done. So, you got your point there.

So, you got all three points.

Let's get back to the desk and add all those up, shall we?

So, safely back in our seats.

Well, you both got the three points,

which means that, Lars and Miranda, you're there with 12,

and, Nina and Benedict, you're there with eight.

There's only four points separating you,

and with that in mind, we enter our race to the finish,

a last look around the collection. Fingers on the buzzers.

First to get in gets the point.

Have a look at this. In what form of transport might you use it?

-BELL Lars.

-It's a canoe bailer.

-It's a canoe bailer.

-Oh...

OK, what is the name of this flightless bird?

BELL AND BUZZER You were first, Lars.

-Kiwi.

-It's a Kiwi.

Which continents do these masks come from?

BUZZER

-Europe.

-From Europe. Well done.

-Yes!

-The Tyrol,

spanning the border between southern Austria and northern Italy.

What musical instrument is shown here?

-BELL

-Hurdy-gurdy.

It's a hurdy-gurdy.

In which country might this protect you from stones thrown

in a game called Tinku?

-BELL

-Peru.

-Peru, correct.

So quick.

Who wore these?

-BUZZER

-Inuit?

Not Inuits, no.

-Any guess?

-Huskies.

Huskies? Yes.

Oh, what?

As you can see, there are four of them.

There are four delightful husky boots.

Which festival would you use this sheep-shaped cake mould for?

-BUZZER

-Easter.

-Easter, Nina.

Which people made this Grey Mare?

-BUZZER AND BELL Nina.

-Welsh.

-The Welsh people.

OK, made in Portugal in the 19th-century,

what is the style known as?

-BELL

-Palissy.

-Palissy ware.

In which fiercely tribal activity was this Ugandan object used?

About this size. BELL

-Is it some sort of football, or...?

-Football, you're correct.

It's a football.

BULLROARER SOUNDS

What the sound of my bullroarer tells us,

is that this herd has to stop its lowing

and wind slowly o'er the lea.

We've reached the end of our competition, but before we go,

we'd better heed the drowsy tinklings of the scores.

Nina and Benedict, you got 11 points,

but, Lars and Miranda, you win,

with 19 points.

-Congratulations.

-Very well done, sir.

We've got to leave the collection that was

begun by Frederick John Horniman.

It was all thanks to the value and freshness of a packaged tea,

much admired by Nietzsche -

the brew that gave birth to Zarathustra.

Today, there are more like 300,000 items here,

connecting Forest Hill directly with what is unfortunately

a rapidly disappearing world,

but we must disappear ourselves for another week, as well.

Goodnight.