Episode 3 Total Wipeout


Episode 3

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Buenos Aires, South America. 7,000 miles from home, unless you're

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watching in metric-vision and in which case it's 11,265 kilometres.

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Sounds better in miles! 20 everyday men and women

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including a beauty therapist, a referee, and a wrestler

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will test their mettle on the world's nastiest obstacle course.

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One will win. 19 will lose, and I do mean lose spectacularly.

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This is Total Wipeout. Let the games begin!

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Welcome to Total Wipeout. It's the journey of a lifetime for 20 brave

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souls who are willing to suffer bumps, bruises and humiliation on the path to almost certain failure.

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But only one will walk away £10,000 richer and still have the use of all four limbs.

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Let's see what the course has in store for the contestants today.

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The Qualifier - wet, slippery fun.

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The Sweeper - wobbly, spinning and a lot less fun.

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And finally, the Wipeout Zone, really quite hard and not much fun at all.

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Now, you'll have spotted something missing, that's right health and safety regulations!

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But also, there's no Dizzy Dummies this week.

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You see, it's not all siestas and chorizo for the Argentinean course designers, oh, no, no, no.

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They've been busy knocking up a brand-new obstacle, the Dreadmill.

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Imagine two huge demolition balls

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swinging from side to side across a couple of giant running machines,

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with the control knob ripped off and set to run fast.

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At last, a cool name, the Dreadmill.

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I can work with that - dread.

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Anyway, let's start at the beginning with the qualifier and here comes the first competitor.

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He could be a winner, but statistically that's very unlikely.

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Meet petrol-head, Gordon, from Swindon.

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Word on the street, quite literally, is he can drive anything with four wheels.

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My co-host Amanda is at the top of the course with Gordon now,

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armed with her usual blend of encouragement and churlish giggling.

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Gordon, what is it that you do?

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I'm a chauffeur so I pick up lovely people like yourself.

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Take them back and forth to the airports on their holidays and business trips.

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So you've been preparing for the Qualifier by doing lots of sitting down on your bottom, have you?

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Sitting down, beer and pizza.

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-AMANDA LAUGHS

-Always a stable diet for fit athletes!

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Oh yes, beer and pizza, the breakfast of champions.

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The first obstacle Gordon will face is the classic Topple Towers.

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Ankle supports and the snorkel could well come in handy here.

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-KLAXON SOUNDS

-Gordon the Chauffeur is off.

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The rarely seen kneeling approach there followed by a drenching.

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All is back to normal.

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OK, a bit wobbly on the pontoons.

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Let's not forget this man does sit down for a living so this a shock.

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Hello, Gordon, yes.

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On to the Topple Towers. Here we go.

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Oh, an unorthodox, but effective technique.

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He sort of surfs the towers as they topple. I like his style.

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Can we do it again?

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Oh, very nearly.

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There are no flies on Gordon the Chauffeur unless you count

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-the larvae living in that pool.

-Ohh, yeah!

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But there will be flies.

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So it hop, skip and a hobble to the hydraulic Wall of Hate.

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You know it, you love it, it's the Sucker Punch.

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Sucker Punch, meet Gordon. Gordon, oh, I see you've already met!

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So Gordon must now deal with the four big red balls.

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Or more accurately, let the big balls deal with him.

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He jumps and oh...

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Gordon the Chauffeur almost clears

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the second big ball completely there.

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It's a good job he's not on the meter,

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this would be costing a fortune by now.

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Up next, it's the last obstacle.

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It's the return of the Lunar Landing.

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Simple really, swing on the rope, land on the podium or flail about

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and fall in the water. It will be one of the two.

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OK.

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-Jeronimo!

-First attempt at this.

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Doh! There goes his knee.

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So close.

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Yet so far. 13 feet into the icy water below, to be precise.

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Because he failed the Lunar Landing, it

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heave on to the final pontoon, and a surprisingly good time of 2:26.

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Hang on, he's pointing at Amanda.

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How did it feel for you?

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SHE GIGGLES

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SHE LAUGHS

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Whatever. Meet Lucy, a lettings administrator from London.

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-So Lucy what have you been doing to prepare?

-Well, I'm a bit of a synchronised swimmer, I used to be.

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Falling in the water, I think I'll be all right.

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I might give you a little demonstration.

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Will you be throwing your routine past the big red balls?

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Give us a sneak preview then.

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OK.

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-That's it.

-AMANDA LAUGHS

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That is going to come in SO handy, Lucy, just remember to smile!

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I hope she'S a bit more graceful in the water.

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-KLAXON SOUNDS

-And she's off.

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And she's over and she's in. Not a great start from Lucy.

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Not a lot of synchronicity in that swim either,

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but she's up on the pontoons now.

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I like it, grace, elegance, spearmint green shorts

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and nifty cornering, too.

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On to the Topple Towers and she's across in a flash.

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The second set now. Will they defeat her?

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No, they barely moved.

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This all looks very promising for Lucy.

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Prances across the Topple Towers like a nimble little elf.

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This is going to take some beating.

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You can't beat elves, it's not allowed. On to the big red balls now.

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Come on, Lucy.

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-You can do it.

-Boing, boing!

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Yes.

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Oh.

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Yeah, that was less boing, boing and more boing sploosh.

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What was that?!

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Beautiful technique in the water. Boing Boing Lucy has pluck, stamina,

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yes, and most importantly her own verruca socks on.

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Tarzana, here we go!

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Tarzana, there she goes.

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Oh and back again now.

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Desperate to do more synchronised swimming. There's your chance.

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This is what Total Wipeout is all about,

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grit, determination and rope burn.

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It's straight up on to the finishing pontoon for Boing Boing Lucy,

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and she's done and just 12 seconds behind Gordon the chauffeur.

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Now here's Dave from Derbyshire.

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-AS FRANK SPENCER:

-I've got a bit of trouble.

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So what is Dave, an impersonator, a comedian?

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HE GROANS AND SHOUTS

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Village idiot?

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I'm in the presence of holiness here at the top of the qualifier here.

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I'm joined by Catholic priest, Father Dave. How are you doing?

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Very well thanks, Amanda. Very excited as well.

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I'm really looking forward to that mud. It looks great.

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Oh, he's a man of the cloth.

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I feel bad about the village idiot thing now.

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I've got angels wings and I'm going to fly, fly,

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-fly around this course.

-SHE LAUGHS

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Muhahahahah!

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Maybe he's been out in the sun a bit too long.

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-KLAXON SOUNDS

-They don't wear hats, do they?

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In the water on to the pontoons.

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It's not dignified, but it's fast.

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Topple Towers.

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Oh, my god! He's across the first. On to the second set.

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Oh, almost made the second set. The competitors are making light

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work of the Topple Towers today, but mark my words, they're not easy.

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Some timely advice for the priest, divine intervention is not strictly

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banned on Total Wipeout, it's just kind of frowned upon

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in the early stages.

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OK, he did well on the Topple Towers, but will his

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angel's wings really kick in when they're really needed?

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You are my friends!

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They're not. They're so not!

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You see, with friends like that, who needs enemies?

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It was a leap of faith, probably too much emphasis

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on the faith bit there.

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Some balance would have been better.

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Come on, Divine Dave, can he be the first priest to lean a land?

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Come on, Mr Mushroom.

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Mr Mushroom?!

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Must be the communion wine talking!

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-Here we go.

-Off he goes!

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I don't believe it, Divine Dave is truly divine.

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He is the first ever to complete the Lunar Landing and in 2:08.

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That is astonishing, I don't know what he is doing now,

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yes, someone call the bishop or somebody.

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Divine Dave had his faith,

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but what will these two competitors bring to the course?

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Meet Diane from Manchester and Ian from County Durham.

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Diane's secret weapon...

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-# That's the power of... #

-Yes!

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Brilliant, and what about Ian?

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I may even levitate. I have been known to.

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Levitate? Go on then?

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Well, I was dubious, but that's conclusive proof,

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I don't need to see his feet and to measure

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the power of YES, here's cutting edge technology, the yes-ometer.

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-KLAXON SOUNDS

-No time to test it. She's off.

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It seems to be working perfectly.

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No, no, no, no, no.

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You can accentuate the positive or just cheat.

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So the power of yes getting off to a dodgy start.

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It's a sort of not so sure.

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Our new toy, I love this.

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Yes, Diane, that's more like it.

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What about Ian and the power of levitation?

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Levitate! Oh, great work over the Topple Towers.

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So far no sign of actual levitation going on.

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Back with Diane and let's check the yes-ometer.

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Run now! The power of yes!

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No!

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Oh, the yes-ometer never lies.

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Let's join Ian the Levitator at the big balls.

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So far no sign of any levitation.

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Now would be good.

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The balls!

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To infinity and beyond!

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OK.

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Yeah, well, to the second big ball and not beyond!

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What was he hoping for?

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I think he believed he could levitate!

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I don't know why I'm watching this bit in slow-motion, oh, we're not.

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This is Diane going flat out.

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The big red balls.

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Let's switch on the yes-ometer.

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Oh, yes!

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-Yes. Yes.

-We need a lot of yes.

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Right. On your marks,

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-get set...

-Yes.

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-Go.

-Yes! Yes!

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-Yes!

-Yes!

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Yes!

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-No.

-Ooh!

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He's done it, Ian the Levitator finishes in 2:40.

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And with a little assistance from Eduardo, who is always happy

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to say yes, Diane finishes in a modest 12:49.

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Next to tackle the Qualifier is assistant pub manager Raymond from Manchester.

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He's a man with a dream.

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So, Raymond, what would you do if you won the money on Total Wipeout?

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Well, I have a Chihuahua called Romeo.

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He's called Romeo because we're planning

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on buying three more Chihuahuas and breeding them,

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and then so if I won the money I'd have Chihuahuas

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and build a big Chihuahua mansion for them all to live in.

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Excellent! So let's join Raymond half-way around the course

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and remember he's doing all this for the love of his Chihuahua, Romeo.

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Oh, ooh, lucky miss for Romeo Raymondo there.

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He's hanging in there. He could be the first one across.

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He could and he is. He's done it.

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Romeo Raymondo racing up to the big balls.

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He's either fearless or he has no idea what's about to happen.

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Still, at 2:16 that's a very good time and Romeo Raymondo

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is one step closer to his dream of building a Chihuahua mansion.

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So time for the first look at the leaderboard.

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Divine Dave is in the top spot,

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followed by Romeo Raymondo and Gordon the Chauffeur.

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Fourth place goes to Boing Boing Lucy,

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and yes, yes, yes, in sixth, it's Diane.

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Now, as you know, every week I present a report from the course in Argentina.

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The BBC calls this an educational feature.

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I prefer to call it a contractual obligation. So here's this week's.

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The Total Wipeout course site deserted and not a soul to be seen.

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Ordinarily this is where Total Wipeout contestants come

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to be interviewed by Amanda Byram, my caring, sharing and occasionally glaring and swearing co-host.

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God, it is quiet.

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BELL TOLLS

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Lonely. What I wouldn't give for someone to talk to,

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-just another human.

-BELL TOLLS

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These are my dos and don'ts for a successful interview with Amanda.

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Don't undersell yourself.

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Strengths...erm.

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Erm...

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-Are you excited about the course today?

-Yeah.

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Do you have any particular strengths you can bring to the course today?

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Erm...not particularly, no.

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Have you been in really hard training?

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Yeah.

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I think we've covered everything.

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Do have a healthy understanding of just how much of your dancing other people might want to see.

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Don't forget to have a great anecdote to tell.

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-Tell me where you live?

-I live in the woods in a tree house with dwarfs.

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I'm going to fly through this course today with the help of my spirit guide, Crystal Veil.

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-What team do you play for?

-Glantaf Goats.

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# Chew, chew, chew, chew, chew, chew. #

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I...don't know what to say to that.

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Do pretend to be much fitter than you actually are.

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-Are you sporty?

-Yeah, I've done sport most of my life.

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-I do ten pin bowling, that's my main sport.

-Is that a sport?

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I'm not the last horse in the race, I'm there, I'm the top jockey.

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Don't, whatever you do, pretend to be a monkey.

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That's an absolute no no.

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Eloise, you're a doctor. Is there anything you can take for that?!

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Those are my dos and don'ts for a successful interview with Amanda.

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I don't care what you lot say, I think she's all right.

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So here's Andy from Kent, who seems to have already heeded my advice

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by preparing for Amanda with these interesting warm-up exercises.

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# I'm going to run, run, run as fast as I can

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# You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man

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# And when I hit those big red balls

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# I'm going to protect the family jewels. #

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What a coincidence! That's the face I was pulling

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while you were singing. Just the same.

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OK.

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Let's see if Andy is better at obstacle courses

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than he is at songwriting.

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Lennon, McCartney, Elton John, Gary Barlow and now Andy.

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Finds time to style his hair, a true pop star there.

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No Gary Barlow Andy really throwing himself at the Topple Towers.

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He was doing so very well.

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So in his mind, he's going to run, run, as fast as he can,

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but will he bounce, bounce, like a ginger...

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I'm going to stop that whole thing now.

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Here we go.

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Oh, that will be a yes to the bouncing thing definitely.

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Oh, it's magnificent in an odd kind of way.

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No Gary Barlow Andy really living up to his lyrics.

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That was impressive and he's ready for an encore, storming in at 2:23.

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So far the fastest times are all very close.

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This is proving to be a very quick qualifier.

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Up next, Charlotte, 19, a drama student from Crawley in West Sussex.

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Are you physically capable of taking on this course today, do you think?

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-I think I am. I'm quite flexible, so...

-Like what?

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Well, I can pick a penny up off the floor.

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Well, I can do that.

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No, I can't do it like that.

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Charlotte if that doesn't get you across the big red balls, then absolutely nothing will.

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So Piggy Bank Charlotte approaches the balls.

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Let's see who the real money is on.

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She looks fit and ready for it.

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Come on, Charlotte.

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Yeah. Ow.

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She never stood a chance with all those coppers in her pockets!

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Piggy Bank Charlotte finishes the qualifier with a time of 2:40

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and 76 pence in loose change!

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This is Tony the Enforcer. He is a Police Community Support Officer.

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And Emma, another enforcer.

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She's a Safe Communities Officer.

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Together they are Yorkshire's frontline for crime and minor disturbances.

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Jazz hands.

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Did she just say Jazz hands?!

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She did. And they're off.

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Oh, innovative stuff from Emma.

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-I'm not physically designed for this.

-Go, Tony.

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Not great on the Topple Towers. Let's just hope these two never

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have to chase a baddy over an obstacle course.

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Not this particular one anyway.

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Enforcer Tony on the Sucker Punch.

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Learning who's boss.

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So it's the Enforcer facing the big balls.

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And if this was a high jump competition,

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the Enforcer would have cleared it.

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But it's not, it's the big balls and he missed.

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OK, the other enforcer needs to be decisive here.

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Mentally preparing herself.

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No, no, this way, Emma.

0:19:430:19:47

Yeah, a bit more preparation.

0:19:480:19:51

There's quite a lot of preparation there.

0:19:510:19:53

I'm making myself ball-shaped.

0:19:530:19:56

You can be too prepared. Come on Emma, we haven't got all night!

0:19:560:19:59

Yeah, sorry, my mistake,

0:20:020:20:04

she did need a bit more preparation actually.

0:20:040:20:07

Tony and Emma both managed to finish.

0:20:070:20:10

Emma in 6:38, Tony in a very competitive 2:51.

0:20:100:20:14

HE SHOUTS What?!

0:20:150:20:17

Here's Ricky. He has a bachelor of science in biochemistry

0:20:170:20:21

and he spends all day recruiting experts

0:20:210:20:23

for clients in the pharmaceutical industry.

0:20:230:20:26

-Boring.

-I'm going to smash this Wipeout course all up!

0:20:260:20:30

When you watch me, you believe the hype and you better witness the fitness!

0:20:300:20:35

Hang on, have I got the right guy here?!

0:20:380:20:40

I see he does a bit of wrestling in his spare time. He's big.

0:20:400:20:43

-He's strong. What's he doing with Amanda?

-SHE SCREAMS

0:20:430:20:47

It's a good job for Ricky I'm not down there, I'd sort him out.

0:20:470:20:50

Here's Unassuming Ricky.

0:20:530:20:54

His opponent today - the Total Wipeout qualifier.

0:20:540:20:57

-You can see the strength...

-Come on!

-..if not the grace.

-Come on!

0:20:590:21:03

Oh, body slams the Topple Towers.

0:21:050:21:08

Quick gun show there, not necessary.

0:21:090:21:11

How will the wrestler cope with the boxing gloves?

0:21:110:21:13

This is a new discipline for him.

0:21:130:21:17

Where's your tag team, partner, when you need one?

0:21:170:21:20

Let's see how Ricky tackles the big red balls?

0:21:200:21:24

-These balls ain't nothing!

-Yeah, that's Ricky, unassuming as always.

0:21:260:21:31

They are. You see, they are.

0:21:310:21:34

-A walk in the park.

-The final Lunar Landing,

0:21:340:21:37

will it be smack-down or splash down? Oh, oh.

0:21:370:21:40

So Unassuming Ricky finishes in a very fast 2:17. Yes!

0:21:420:21:48

Who's this?

0:21:490:21:51

Ah, it's the man in the black who strikes fear into the hearts of us all.

0:21:540:21:59

Meet Dan, the football referee.

0:22:010:22:03

He's terrifying.

0:22:030:22:05

I'm a referee. I don't take any nonsense on the pitch

0:22:050:22:07

and I'm not taking any nonsense from this course. I'm going for it.

0:22:070:22:10

KLAXON SOUNDS

0:22:110:22:13

Well, you did take a bit of nonsense from that pontoon, didn't you Dan?

0:22:150:22:19

There will be a lot of very happy footballers out there right now.

0:22:210:22:24

Cheat! He dived!

0:22:300:22:32

No one wants to see a referee get hurt,

0:22:320:22:34

certainly not in slow-motion so you catch every detail.

0:22:340:22:37

Come on, guys, let's move on.

0:22:370:22:41

And now, for once, let's see how a referee celebrates.

0:22:420:22:45

Oh, yeah.

0:22:450:22:47

The old Kevin Costner.

0:22:520:22:56

So Red Card Dan jumps straight to the top of the leaderboard with

0:22:560:22:59

an impressive 2:05, while his holiness Divine Dave

0:22:590:23:02

is three seconds behind.

0:23:020:23:03

Down the board, and Unassuming Ricky has knocked both No Gary

0:23:030:23:06

Barlow Andy and Gordon the Chauffeur down a peg or two.

0:23:060:23:09

Followed by Boing Boing Lucy, the top woman so far in seventh place,

0:23:090:23:13

and look Piggy Bank Charlotte is level with Ian the Levitator.

0:23:130:23:17

Finally, on to Enforcer Tony who,

0:23:170:23:19

despite a heroic run, finds himself near the bottom of the ladder.

0:23:190:23:23

This man calls himself Mr T.

0:23:230:23:27

Actually it's Paul Treasure from Dudley who works in IT.

0:23:310:23:36

He's come to show the big balls who's boss.

0:23:360:23:39

Let's go.

0:23:390:23:41

That's not part of it. This is.

0:23:410:23:43

-Oh.

-Not quite part of the A-Team anymore, are you Mr T?

0:23:430:23:49

Mr T finishes in 3:02 with a nasty injury to the bandanna.

0:23:490:23:55

Rachel from Swansea can help.

0:23:570:23:59

She's a physiotherapist. They do bandannas, don't they?

0:23:590:24:03

Let's see how she copes.

0:24:040:24:06

She's holding up well so far - no, not at all.

0:24:060:24:09

Rachel went on to finish in 4:28.

0:24:120:24:16

Citizens of Great Britain, prepare yourselves for one of

0:24:180:24:21

the greatest athletes this country has ever produced.

0:24:210:24:25

Les, hailing from Boston, Lincolnshire.

0:24:270:24:30

Les has competed at international level and won loads of medals.

0:24:300:24:35

-What kind of stuff have you competed in?

-Well, last year I competed

0:24:350:24:38

in the European Championships. I was reserve for the 100 meters.

0:24:380:24:41

I was reserve for the 400 meters relay team and I was in the semi-finals for the 200 meters.

0:24:410:24:46

Yeah, that is the European Veterans Championship.

0:24:460:24:50

Les, our international sportsman. We should be in for a treat here today.

0:24:500:24:54

Les, determined, athletic, graceful.

0:24:550:24:59

And ready.

0:25:020:25:05

-KLAXON SOUNDS

-He's away.

0:25:050:25:08

Where's he gone?

0:25:080:25:10

OK, so a slippery start for him there. He's on. He's on.

0:25:120:25:17

Les looks focused now.

0:25:170:25:19

Wow, 55-year-old Les is performing like someone half his age.

0:25:200:25:25

Make that a third of his age. Look at him go!

0:25:290:25:31

None of Les's medals have been in boxing, but that doesn't seem

0:25:320:25:36

to bother him because he's nearly - he is across.

0:25:360:25:40

Only the second competitor today.

0:25:400:25:43

-Surely all those years of veteran experience will help here. Oh.

-Oh!

0:25:430:25:49

It did. That's an Olympic standard falling off a big red ball there.

0:25:490:25:54

Probably already got a medal for that.

0:25:550:25:57

Olympic Les rockets around the qualifier in a blistering 2:14,

0:25:570:26:02

-proof that the aged don't always need help.

-Never again!

0:26:020:26:05

I only popped out for a paper!

0:26:050:26:07

Meet Joseph's mum, Amy, from Newcastle.

0:26:110:26:15

Meet Christopher, Matthew and Daniel's mum, Nuala from Manchester

0:26:150:26:19

and meet Peter and Mark's mum, Fiona from Glasgow.

0:26:190:26:23

It is heart-warming to see how far mums will go to embarrass their kids.

0:26:230:26:28

Come on, mums, give it your best shot.

0:26:280:26:31

Let's just get it over with.

0:26:310:26:33

# Just one look and I can hear a bell ring

0:26:330:26:36

# One more look and I forget everything

0:26:360:26:39

# O-o-o-oh

0:26:390:26:41

# Mamma mia, here I go again

0:26:410:26:45

# My my, how can I resist you?

0:26:450:26:49

# Mamma mia, now I really know... #

0:26:490:26:52

Amy finishes in 3:27.

0:26:520:26:55

It was a lot harder than I expected.

0:26:550:26:57

Fiona in 4:34.

0:26:570:27:00

I hadn't appreciated how much it would suck you dry.

0:27:000:27:03

Take away all your energy.

0:27:030:27:05

And Nuala's run of 2:49 squeezed her into the top twelve, her boys will be proud.

0:27:050:27:11

Christopher, Matthew and Daniel will probably say they could've done that

0:27:110:27:15

better than Mummy just did, but you know what, boys, it's tough.

0:27:150:27:19

I'm joined here at the top of the Qualifier by Tasha who is a beauty therapist.

0:27:190:27:23

Tasha, why are you here today?

0:27:230:27:25

I just want to break the stereotype, you know, the typical, maybe a bit

0:27:250:27:28

-thick, a bit ditsy and oh I don't know...

-THEY LAUGH

0:27:280:27:33

It's not the best start.

0:27:330:27:35

I'm going to break this course!

0:27:350:27:37

I hope I don't break a nail!

0:27:370:27:38

This has got 12 minutes written all over it, in fake tan.

0:27:390:27:42

OK.

0:27:420:27:44

Yeah, if you want to go and make a cup of tea,

0:27:460:27:48

now is probably a good time!

0:27:480:27:50

She wants to disprove the stereotype

0:27:570:28:00

that beauty therapists are all girlie.

0:28:000:28:02

Hang on, maybe I was wrong about Tasha.

0:28:060:28:09

That was seriously brilliant. I'm feeling bad now about what I said.

0:28:090:28:13

Tasha is tearing over the Topple Towers,

0:28:140:28:16

maybe it's something to do with those pink socks.

0:28:160:28:19

Tasha and her nails face the Lunar Landing and oh, no.

0:28:240:28:28

Tasha misses her landing, but this is a seriously quick run.

0:28:310:28:35

She looks like a tough competitor straightaway,

0:28:350:28:37

consider those beautician stereotypes eradicated forever.

0:28:370:28:40

-They're all intact.

-Maybe not.

0:28:400:28:44

19 competitors down, one to go.

0:28:440:28:47

The leaderboard is looking tight at the top, but will today's final

0:28:470:28:51

competitor have what it takes to make it through to the Sweeper?

0:28:510:28:54

And, by what it takes, I mean stamina, skill

0:28:540:28:58

and mindless disregard for their own personal safety. Amanda.

0:28:580:29:02

So I'm here now at the top of the Total Wipeout course with Comrie who is from Kent.

0:29:020:29:06

Comrie, do you have any hobbies that will help you physically on the course today?

0:29:060:29:10

I've got lots of hobbies. I have a horse, so I ride most days. I climb.

0:29:100:29:15

I'm training for a marathon.

0:29:150:29:18

I swim, I cycle. Snowboard.

0:29:180:29:21

All right, I shall call her Couch Potato Comrie.

0:29:210:29:26

Which of her many skills will she be using first?

0:29:260:29:29

Body slamming the pontoon wasn't in that list,

0:29:290:29:32

but she's up and away.

0:29:320:29:35

Marathon skills on show now and galloping across the Topple Towers.

0:29:350:29:39

That's probably a horse riding skill, oh.

0:29:390:29:44

This is a fast run.

0:29:470:29:50

-I'm going to get you.

-Oh.

0:29:510:29:53

A pretty good effort on the balls from Couch Potato Comrie.

0:29:570:30:00

She did reach the third ball with her face.

0:30:000:30:03

It might be tight at the top of the leaderboard,

0:30:050:30:08

but Couch Potato Comrie is definitely going to make an impact.

0:30:080:30:11

Oh...

0:30:130:30:16

Just! Only the second person to make the Lunar Landing,

0:30:160:30:19

that must put her near the top.

0:30:190:30:21

-Let's check the leaderboard to find out.

-Oh, wicked!

0:30:210:30:25

And there you go, Couch Potato Comrie gatecrashes

0:30:250:30:28

into pole position, just one second ahead of red card Dan,

0:30:280:30:30

with Divine Dave only three seconds behind him.

0:30:300:30:33

Olympic Les edges out Romeo Raymondo and Unassuming Ricky,

0:30:330:30:36

both of whom are nearly half his age.

0:30:360:30:38

Tasha and her nails make it in at number nine.

0:30:380:30:41

Finally a lucky tie for last place between Piggy Bank Charlotte

0:30:410:30:44

and Ian the Levitator, both of whom go through.

0:30:440:30:48

So as today's triumphant 12 qualifiers march on to the next round to face the fearsome Sweeper,

0:30:480:30:54

it's time to say farewell to the eight runners-up, don't you just hate goodbyes?

0:30:540:31:01

Anyway, bye.

0:31:010:31:02

# Now you know, I can't smile without you

0:31:020:31:09

# I can't smile without you

0:31:090:31:14

# I can't laugh and I can't sing

0:31:140:31:18

# I'm finding it hard to do anything

0:31:180:31:23

# You see, I feel glad when you're glad

0:31:230:31:28

# I feel sad when you're sad

0:31:280:31:33

# If you only knew what I'm going through

0:31:330:31:38

# I just can't smile without you... #

0:31:380:31:44

So as the eight smile their way out of the competition, it's a barrel

0:31:480:31:52

of laughs for the remaining 12 who face potential oblivion

0:31:520:31:56

in the Sweeper.

0:31:560:31:57

So it's the return of the classic Sweeper,

0:32:030:32:05

but the Argentineans have come up with a dramatic twist.

0:32:050:32:08

Welcome to the sack race from hell.

0:32:080:32:10

Well, it was a choice between this and the egg and spoon race!

0:32:100:32:14

The last six will go through to the next round, but the game does

0:32:140:32:18

not stop until there is a last man or woman or sack standing.

0:32:180:32:22

So standing tall on podiums one and two

0:32:220:32:24

are Piggy Bank Charlotte and Tasha and her nails.

0:32:240:32:28

Come on girls, we're in it to win it, mind your nails!

0:32:280:32:31

On three and four are Boing Boing Lucy and Divine Dave.

0:32:310:32:35

I might be wearing blue, but I'm kangaroo, boing.

0:32:350:32:38

Yeah, maybe it's a parable.

0:32:380:32:40

On podium, five, six, and seven are Ian the Levitator, Olympic Les and Red Card Dan.

0:32:400:32:46

..two, three, four, five...

0:32:460:32:47

Who's counting the reasons

0:32:470:32:49

why he wished he hadn't applied for this show.

0:32:490:32:51

On eight and nine, Couch Potato Comrie and Romeo Raymondo.

0:32:510:32:55

Ricky, I beat you in the qualifier

0:32:550:32:57

and I'm going to beat you on the Sweeper. You're going down, big man.

0:32:570:33:00

On a reinforced podium ten, it's Unassuming Ricky.

0:33:000:33:04

This Sweeper ain't nothing and none of my competitors are either.

0:33:040:33:07

I'm the hype and you better believe it.

0:33:070:33:10

OK! On 11 and 12, Gordon the Chauffeur and No Gary Barlow Andy.

0:33:100:33:14

Mr Sweeper, it's time for you to brush away my competition. Come on!

0:33:140:33:19

Feeling sweepy?

0:33:190:33:21

Well, it's time to put a smile back on your face,

0:33:210:33:24

it's the Sweeper. Are you all ready?

0:33:240:33:26

-ALL:

-No!

-There is no time for indecision.

0:33:260:33:29

Three, two, one!

0:33:290:33:33

KLAXON SOUNDS

0:33:330:33:34

Well, they're off. I've no idea it was even possible to

0:33:340:33:37

jump the Sweeper in sacks, but they are. They are.

0:33:370:33:41

Lucy wobbles. Oh, no, the Levitator is down.

0:33:410:33:45

Where were those levitation skills that Ian told us about?

0:33:450:33:47

I'm beginning to think he was lying.

0:33:470:33:49

I tried to pull the sack over and it just took my legs away straightaway.

0:33:490:33:53

So my powers of levitation have just failed me.

0:33:530:33:56

My David Blaine book is going straight in the bin.

0:33:560:33:58

Where it will live for 40 days without food or water.

0:33:580:34:01

Right, back to the action!

0:34:010:34:04

Oh, someone else has gone. It's Red Card Dan, clinging on,

0:34:040:34:08

but he must get back up before the Sweeper arm returns or he's out.

0:34:080:34:11

Well, rules are rules so it is an early bath for Red Card Dan.

0:34:130:34:16

I was so proud of how I did on the Qualifier,

0:34:160:34:19

but I was disappointed with myself today that I couldn't

0:34:190:34:23

hang in there for a few more rounds. I want to get back

0:34:230:34:25

and see my friends and see how they did really.

0:34:250:34:28

Friends? Referees don't have friends, do they?

0:34:280:34:31

Right, back to the sack dwellers.

0:34:310:34:33

Ten left, six go through.

0:34:330:34:36

I don't know how they're doing this.

0:34:380:34:41

Now remember, that Sweeper arm gets faster and higher

0:34:410:34:44

with every revolution. The sacks don't change,

0:34:440:34:47

they just keep on making things, well, impossible.

0:34:470:34:50

Still on, still on... No, no! Gordon the Chauffeur's gone.

0:34:500:34:54

He didn't know whether to hold on to the sack

0:34:540:34:58

or protect his face, so he did neither.

0:34:580:35:00

Remember only six can go through,

0:35:040:35:09

but everyone now hanging on in there.

0:35:090:35:12

Just think you're back in school with the sack race.

0:35:140:35:17

Come on, hurry up and fall guys. That Argentinean farmer will notice

0:35:170:35:21

his sacks are missing when his potatoes are spoiling in the sun.

0:35:210:35:25

Oh, Charlotte's gone! Tasha's gone!

0:35:270:35:31

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

0:35:310:35:34

The Sweeper's claimed another two.

0:35:340:35:36

Piggy Bank Charlotte first, and then Tasha and her nails.

0:35:360:35:39

She didn't break a nail, may have broken her nose.

0:35:390:35:42

People thought I wouldn't get through the Qualifier

0:35:440:35:47

-so I'm really proud of myself and hopefully they will be too.

-SHE CRIES

0:35:470:35:51

Oh, Tasha...

0:35:510:35:53

Someone hand her the Total Wipeout tissue please - if it's been dried!

0:35:530:35:57

One more down!

0:35:570:35:59

Amanda's right, the next one down will be eliminated

0:35:590:36:02

by the smallest of margins and by the largest of revolving punch bags.

0:36:020:36:07

Couch Potato Comrie has a wobble.

0:36:070:36:09

The competition really hotting up.

0:36:090:36:11

As are those thick weave hessian sacks, I imagine.

0:36:110:36:15

It's still going. The speed of it!

0:36:150:36:19

Oh, No Gary Barlow Andy nearly lost his sack there.

0:36:210:36:24

Couch Potato Comrie is down.

0:36:240:36:26

She's got to get up before the Sweeper returns

0:36:260:36:29

and keep hold of that sack.

0:36:290:36:31

No, today's fastest qualifier,

0:36:340:36:37

Couch Potato Comrie is out leaving just the final six.

0:36:370:36:41

Romeo Raymondo flips into the water first,

0:36:410:36:43

followed by Unassuming Ricky who is down for the count.

0:36:430:36:47

Once again, Couch Potato Comrie concedes defeat

0:36:500:36:53

as bodies drop around her.

0:36:530:36:55

I'm absolutely gutted. To go from first

0:36:550:36:59

to not even through the next round. Oh, dear.

0:36:590:37:03

They're emotional this week. Look Olympic Les takes a tactical jump.

0:37:030:37:07

He knows he's safely through and he's not in it for the glory.

0:37:070:37:10

So from now on, it is just for pride. Only Divine Dave,

0:37:120:37:15

No Gary Barlow Andy and Boing Boing Lucy left.

0:37:150:37:18

Oh, look and he's down. They're all down.

0:37:210:37:23

The Sweeper has tidied things up nicely

0:37:230:37:27

and last man standing I think was Divine Dave.

0:37:270:37:31

I do hope No Gary Barlow Andy didn't damage

0:37:310:37:34

his vocal chords with that face plant.

0:37:340:37:36

Oh, I wouldn't to impair that beautiful singing voice.

0:37:360:37:40

Boing Boing Lucy has definitely lost her bounce, but it doesn't matter.

0:37:400:37:43

She's the only woman through to the next round,

0:37:430:37:46

and finally Divine Dave has fallen to his knees.

0:37:460:37:49

Someone's answered his prayers though, he's the last man standing.

0:37:490:37:53

I was so excited and I feel all that experience I had practicing

0:37:530:37:57

computer games with a big monkey jumping over barrels was fantastic.

0:37:570:38:01

So obviously, in conjunction with a healthy lifestyle, sometimes

0:38:010:38:04

computer games can really work and I think this one did.

0:38:040:38:06

Right, well God moves in mysterious ways while Divine Dave just TALKS

0:38:060:38:13

in mysterious ways, but he is safely through to the next round.

0:38:130:38:16

So what is the next round?

0:38:160:38:19

Well, this is the moment I have been waiting for.

0:38:190:38:22

A brand-new terrifying obstacle for Total Wipeout.

0:38:220:38:26

Ladies and gentlemen,

0:38:260:38:28

boys and girls, Mum, brace yourself for the Dreadmill.

0:38:280:38:33

Now, sit tight, here's how it works.

0:38:390:38:42

The six remaining competitors have been split into three heats.

0:38:420:38:46

Within each heat two competitors go head-to-head

0:38:460:38:49

on industrial sized treadmills.

0:38:490:38:51

Is that too easy for you? OK, as promised let's throw in

0:38:510:38:55

a couple of giant demolition balls powered by grumpy Argentineans.

0:38:550:38:59

As the round progresses these demolition balls will swing lower

0:38:590:39:03

and lower until they demolish the runners.

0:39:030:39:05

If, or rather when the competitors get knocked down,

0:39:050:39:09

they've got just seconds to scramble

0:39:090:39:12

back to their feet before they spat out into the pool of despair.

0:39:120:39:17

So the first to take a dip in each heat is eliminated leaving the three

0:39:170:39:22

finalists who qualify for the Wipeout Zone.

0:39:220:39:24

Got it? Here is a quick reminder of who will be facing that

0:39:240:39:28

heady mix of demolition ball, grumpy Argentinean and fast moving rubber.

0:39:280:39:32

With the money, I'll have Chihuahuas and build a big Chihuahua mansion.

0:39:320:39:36

Chihuahuas love him and he loves them. It's Romeo Raymondo.

0:39:360:39:40

I'm coming to get you!

0:39:400:39:42

The Usain Bolt of the veteran athletics scene, Olympic Les.

0:39:420:39:47

I only popped out for a paper.

0:39:470:39:49

The woman who's coined the new Total Wipeout catchphrase,

0:39:490:39:54

boing boing, it's Lucy.

0:39:540:39:56

Come on. Come on. Come on.

0:39:560:39:58

His name's Andy and he's no Gary Barlow. It's No Gary Barlow Andy.

0:39:580:40:04

I'm going to smash this wipeout course right up!

0:40:040:40:07

The wrestler who hasn't faked his way here, Unassuming Ricky.

0:40:070:40:11

I must confess I didn't think he would make it this far,

0:40:110:40:15

it's Catholic priest, Divine Dave.

0:40:150:40:17

So, how do they decide who goes against who?

0:40:170:40:20

Well, this is pretty complicated, so pay attention.

0:40:200:40:23

They put all the names in Eduardo's hat and pulled them out.

0:40:230:40:27

Here's who got drawn first.

0:40:270:40:30

The first battle is between Romeo Raymondo and Olympic Les.

0:40:300:40:33

This is going to be a corker.

0:40:330:40:35

I'm terrified about being drawn with Les. I think he's the favourite.

0:40:350:40:39

I'm certainly going to beat Ray. I want to get through

0:40:390:40:41

to the Wipeout Zone, I always wanted to.

0:40:410:40:43

It must be at least eight weeks I've been watching it on television

0:40:430:40:46

and I want to get to do it.

0:40:460:40:47

Yeah. Amanda, now stood a safe distance from those demolition balls

0:40:470:40:52

raring to get things under way.

0:40:520:40:54

Three, two, one! KLAXON SOUNDS

0:40:540:40:58

So the Dreadmill gets switched on for the very first time

0:40:580:41:01

and great news, it works!

0:41:010:41:03

It didn't short circuit, catch fire or anything.

0:41:030:41:06

All the boys have to do now is stay between those red markers.

0:41:060:41:11

Taking it easy now, but that's all going to change with the klaxon.

0:41:110:41:15

KLAXON SOUNDS

0:41:170:41:18

There it is. The klaxon means two things,

0:41:180:41:21

firstly that those terrifying demolition balls

0:41:210:41:24

have started swinging and secondly that Olympic Les

0:41:240:41:26

and Romeo Raymondo now require clean underwear.

0:41:260:41:30

The pressure is on.

0:41:300:41:32

Starts off slowly, but believe me, it's going to get much, much faster,

0:41:340:41:39

if you can believe the bloke who built it.

0:41:390:41:42

Romeo Raymondo looks very much aware of the demolition ball.

0:41:420:41:46

Olympic Les looking more relaxed.

0:41:460:41:49

They're swinging lower and lower now.

0:41:490:41:52

Both competitors doing some serious ducking.

0:41:520:41:54

I'm trying to make this sound very, very serious. It's ridiculous.

0:41:540:41:59

Remember only one is going through to the final so any stumble

0:41:590:42:03

could spell an end to their Total Wipeout dream of winning £10,000.

0:42:030:42:07

Oh...

0:42:100:42:12

Oh! Romeo Raymondo is hit and he's down and he needs

0:42:150:42:18

to get up very quickly to avoid the water. He's up.

0:42:180:42:21

He's up. Oh, he has been hit

0:42:210:42:23

again and he's into the water this time.

0:42:230:42:26

So Olympic Les is the oldest competitor ever to go through to the

0:42:260:42:30

Wipeout Zone, but Romeo Raymondo is out, his Chihuahua will be gutted.

0:42:300:42:36

That was so scary. That was terrifying.

0:42:360:42:39

You were up. You got back up again.

0:42:390:42:42

I got back up and I don't know what happened actually.

0:42:420:42:44

-It's a bit of a blur now.

-One heat down, two to go.

0:42:440:42:47

The next draw sees Boing Boing Lucy go head-to-head with No Gary Barlow Andy.

0:42:470:42:52

I'm representing the ladies out there. I'm the last girl

0:42:520:42:55

in the competition at the moment. I'm just going to give it my all

0:42:550:42:58

and go for it and knock him out.

0:42:580:43:00

She's really fit. She keeps herself in great shape and I don't know.

0:43:000:43:04

I'm just going to keep my cards close to my chest.

0:43:040:43:07

Only one of these two can make it through to the Wipeout Zone,

0:43:080:43:13

which one will it be?

0:43:130:43:14

KLAXON SOUNDS

0:43:160:43:19

They're off.

0:43:190:43:21

Well, No Gary Barlow Andy and Boing Boing Lucy

0:43:240:43:28

look evenly matched at the moment.

0:43:280:43:31

Both equally determined not to get knocked down.

0:43:310:43:34

Lucy is losing momentum already.

0:43:340:43:36

If ever there was a good time

0:43:360:43:37

to have eyes in the back of your head, it would be now.

0:43:370:43:40

The demolition balls forcing the competitors

0:43:430:43:46

to duck lower and lower now.

0:43:460:43:48

Who will be the first to get hit and will it be funny?

0:43:480:43:51

Remember, they must both remain in the centre of the treadmill.

0:43:530:43:57

No sprinting forward and cheating.

0:43:570:44:00

You have to stay between those lines.

0:44:000:44:03

I don't imagine that's much fun.

0:44:070:44:10

SHE SPEAKS INAUDIBLY

0:44:150:44:18

Don't stop and talk. Oh, that was a heavy blow

0:44:180:44:20

to Boing Boing Lucy, she's over, but what a recovery.

0:44:200:44:23

Oh, she's taken a knock.

0:44:250:44:27

Get up Lucy, come on.

0:44:270:44:28

She's spinning round like a top and she's in the water.

0:44:280:44:34

That means that No Gary Barlow Andy is through to today's final.

0:44:340:44:37

Well, he's happy.

0:44:370:44:39

Boing Boing Lucy took a big knock, never really recovered.

0:44:390:44:45

She's out of the competition.

0:44:450:44:46

When you fell, you got back up so brilliantly, what happened the second time around?

0:44:460:44:51

Oh, I just don't know. It just got that little bit faster, I think.

0:44:510:44:54

And little Lucy tried to do it, but... I'm so happy anyway.

0:44:540:44:58

It's been really good fun.

0:44:580:45:00

So to the final Dreadmill heat, it's Divine Dave versus Unassuming Ricky.

0:45:000:45:05

I reckon this is definitely a David and Goliath situation and we all know what happened in that story.

0:45:050:45:11

My chances against the priest are the best chances out of anybody in this game. He's a nothing.

0:45:110:45:15

I don't even know his name. I don't even want to know his name.

0:45:150:45:18

Yeah, you're watching Total Wipeout,

0:45:190:45:21

the only show on TV where you will see a Catholic priest and a wrestler

0:45:210:45:25

running side by side on giant treadmills

0:45:250:45:28

whilst being buffeted by giant demolition balls.

0:45:280:45:31

Both men seem to be having fun at the moment. It's nice.

0:45:310:45:34

But that's about to change. Two contenders,

0:45:350:45:39

one remaining spot in the Wipeout Zone, who will seize it?

0:45:390:45:42

Ricky was not expecting that.

0:45:420:45:44

Both looking relaxed.

0:45:510:45:53

Unassuming Ricky particularly seems to have found his stride.

0:45:530:45:56

Divine Dave now looking a bit worried.

0:45:560:46:00

Remember these guys are two of today's fastest qualifiers

0:46:000:46:03

and Divine Dave was the last man standing in the Sweeper.

0:46:030:46:06

Still going head-to-head. It's a battle royal,

0:46:080:46:11

but there is only room for one of them in the Wipeout Zone.

0:46:110:46:14

Nice shorts, Dave.

0:46:140:46:15

Divine Dave takes a graze,

0:46:200:46:22

but he's down and scrambling to get back up again.

0:46:220:46:24

The Dreadmill dragging him back quicker and quicker.

0:46:240:46:27

He's really scrambling with everything he has.

0:46:300:46:32

He's in the water.

0:46:320:46:33

Divine Dave is out and Unassuming Ricky

0:46:330:46:36

is the third and last finalist to go through.

0:46:360:46:38

A little stumble was all it took.

0:46:380:46:40

Once Divine Dave was down, he really struggled to get going again.

0:46:400:46:44

He puts up a real fight, but in the end the Dreadmill always wins.

0:46:440:46:48

That was painful to watch.

0:46:480:46:49

-You were down on your knees and you were praying.

-I was!

-What happened?

0:46:490:46:53

Scrambling. It took me by surprise, it was so big that large thing that came from the sky.

0:46:530:47:00

-Evil?

-Evil, wicked, dark, look how dark it looks, even now a shadow casting over us.

0:47:000:47:05

Today's three finalists are Olympic Les, No Gary Barlow Andy and Unassuming Ricky, but there can

0:47:050:47:12

be only one winner and so as night falls and the temperature drops, the competition reaches boiling point.

0:47:120:47:20

Does that work? I might have overcomplicated... OK.

0:47:200:47:22

Here's how the finalists made it this far.

0:47:220:47:24

I don't think I've really surprised myself in getting to the final.

0:47:350:47:38

I was always secretly confident that I was going to get here.

0:47:380:47:41

It's a spectacle and I like to be the centre of it.

0:47:410:47:44

There's going to be people watching me everywhere

0:47:440:47:46

and I want them to look and admire and witness the fitness.

0:47:460:47:49

One is 30 years younger man me and one is 20 years younger than me.

0:47:490:47:53

What am I doing here?

0:47:530:47:55

I can't have a granddad beat me.

0:47:550:47:57

Who wants a granddad to beat him?!

0:47:570:47:59

His mental state is amazing.

0:47:590:48:02

The guy is so experienced that, yeah, he's definitely one to watch for.

0:48:020:48:06

I'm extremely competitive. When I walk the dog, I want to beat him

0:48:060:48:09

to the end of the road, yes I'm that sort of guy.

0:48:090:48:11

I want to absolutely smash them in the final.

0:48:130:48:15

I don't want it to be close. I want to get a great score.

0:48:150:48:17

I want it to be a landslide. I want to embarrass the other two.

0:48:170:48:20

I've tried to be the joker in the pack throughout this

0:48:220:48:24

whole competition, but it's time to see serious Andy now.

0:48:240:48:28

An old man can win Total Wipeout and I'm here to prove he can.

0:48:300:48:34

What a line-up, the oldest competitor ever to enter the Wipeout Zone, a wrestler who's going to

0:48:390:48:44

burst if he gets anymore hyped up and the greatest singer/songwriter since Mozart.

0:48:440:48:50

This, I have to see, but first what will they be facing in the Wipeout Zone?

0:48:500:48:55

So three brave competitors and ahead of them, for starters, it's a heart stopping slide down killer surf.

0:49:010:49:09

And then to cleanse the pallet, a short swim and the Barrel Run.

0:49:090:49:13

Now the main course, an arm-aching swing across

0:49:140:49:17

the monkey bars followed by the stomach churning Spinner.

0:49:170:49:20

For dessert, the competitors must face the Brusher and then the launch-pads before it's coffee

0:49:230:49:28

and mints at the finish podium where the clock finally stops.

0:49:280:49:31

Two contestants are about to zone out, but one will zone in as the Total Wipeout champion.

0:49:310:49:37

It's the Wipeout Zone and Ricky is at the start line.

0:49:370:49:41

I told you to believe the hype, now witness the fitness.

0:49:410:49:44

-KLAXON SOUNDS

-Actually, I'm witnessing the wetness

0:49:450:49:49

as is Unassuming Ricky any minute now.

0:49:490:49:51

He's in.

0:49:530:49:54

Looking strong on the swim to the Barrel Run.

0:49:570:49:59

Unassuming Ricky wrestles slow moving, dense objects

0:50:020:50:05

for a living so these barrels should be no problem.

0:50:050:50:07

He's on to the run.

0:50:070:50:10

He jumps one.

0:50:100:50:12

He jumps two.

0:50:120:50:14

Oh, no, he's slipped. He's over now.

0:50:140:50:16

This is costing him time. Get up.

0:50:160:50:18

Get up.

0:50:180:50:20

Barrel one, Unassuming Ricky, nil.

0:50:200:50:23

Those barrels weigh 50 kilogrammes each.

0:50:240:50:27

This is a very slippery surface.

0:50:270:50:29

It's a miracle he even stayed on. Up he gets.

0:50:290:50:31

Oh, no, he's over again, but the crowd is right behind him.

0:50:310:50:34

Go Unassuming Ricky.

0:50:340:50:36

He's cleared the run, on to the monkey bars now.

0:50:380:50:41

This requires arms of steel and a vice-like grip.

0:50:410:50:44

-ALL:

-Go Ricky! Go Ricky!

-That's not helping.

0:50:460:50:48

That is though. He's on.

0:50:520:50:53

He's staying on. He has done it.

0:50:530:50:56

A clean run at the Spinner and this could be a very fast time.

0:50:560:50:58

He's on to the Spinner,

0:50:580:51:00

as we now know getting off is the difficult bit.

0:51:000:51:04

It's all about the timing, choosing his moment.

0:51:040:51:07

He's gone for it. Oh, no!

0:51:070:51:10

Everything now is just so slippery out there.

0:51:100:51:13

-That's cost him.

-Come on, baby.

0:51:130:51:15

Up the ladder.

0:51:150:51:17

And then he faces the Brusher.

0:51:170:51:20

-Come on!

-He's always got something in reserve for the crowd.

0:51:210:51:24

He's a real showman.

0:51:240:51:25

Oh, he's off again. He was looking good there too.

0:51:250:51:28

It's so sudden.

0:51:280:51:31

He may have fallen a couple of times,

0:51:350:51:37

but this is still a quick run.

0:51:370:51:39

Just the launch-pads to go before the podium and stop the clock.

0:51:390:51:44

The clock is still ticking, but it's not bad. Keep going!

0:51:440:51:47

One launchpad down, focus...

0:51:470:51:48

Unassuming Ricky, focus.

0:51:480:51:51

He's on to the second one. He composes himself.

0:51:510:51:53

He's jumped. He's done it!

0:51:530:51:59

Unassuming Ricky has finished strongly.

0:51:590:52:01

The benchmark has been set.

0:52:010:52:03

Remember, he doesn't know his time yet so let's go to Amanda.

0:52:030:52:07

Your wrestling name is Ricky the Hype, do you think that performance

0:52:070:52:11

-was in anyway hyped, or do you think it deserves praise?

-It's all right.

0:52:110:52:14

I can tell you right now that your time was 2:45.

0:52:140:52:19

I feel beautiful, baby, beautiful.

0:52:190:52:22

Yours is the time to beat, but our next competitor is Andy.

0:52:220:52:26

Wipeout Zone, it's time for me to pay you a visit.

0:52:280:52:32

-Come on!

-KLAXON SOUNDS

0:52:320:52:35

But will the Wipeout Zone return the favour, No Gary Barlow Andy

0:52:350:52:39

and pay you £10,000?

0:52:390:52:41

You will need to beat 2:45 to be in with a chance.

0:52:410:52:44

Well, he's in the water and swimming strongly for the Barrel Run.

0:52:440:52:48

A bit wobbly on the beam.

0:52:520:52:54

Don't forget this next obstacle has just floored a wrestler

0:52:540:52:57

so how will the pop star fair?

0:52:570:52:58

This boy can jump barrels.

0:52:580:53:01

That is how to do the Barrel Run.

0:53:010:53:04

More of this and No Gary Barlow Andy

0:53:040:53:06

is going to beat Unassuming Ricky's time.

0:53:060:53:09

On to the monkey bars now. Smart move, No Gary Barlow Andy's

0:53:090:53:12

reached out as far as possible before he stepped off the platform.

0:53:120:53:17

He's tearing through this course.

0:53:170:53:20

The Spinner now, this can make or break a Wipeout Zone run.

0:53:200:53:23

He's on.

0:53:230:53:25

Now he's got to jump off and he's missed his first chance to do that.

0:53:250:53:28

Will he take the second as he comes round again?

0:53:280:53:31

So much hangs on this next move. He goes for it and yes

0:53:340:53:38

by the skin of his teeth and his right knee, he clings on.

0:53:380:53:40

Just the Brusher and the launch-pads to go now.

0:53:400:53:43

This is looking like a winning round.

0:53:430:53:45

Here we go on the Brusher. Oh no!

0:53:450:53:47

That's a disastrous start to the Brusher.

0:53:470:53:50

He lost his footing in a crucial moment

0:53:500:53:52

so now he faces a swim to the ladder and a climb up for the launch-pads.

0:53:520:53:57

Andy's psyching himself up for the final hurdle,

0:54:000:54:02

that's the trampoline hurdle,

0:54:020:54:06

but it's a hurdle.

0:54:060:54:07

Oh, he's on. Absolutely, no idea that at this point,

0:54:070:54:11

he's still ahead of Ricky, he doesn't know that.

0:54:110:54:14

He's on to the second... No he's fallen short at the second,

0:54:140:54:17

that's going to cost him dearly,

0:54:170:54:19

quite possibly to the tune of £10,000.

0:54:190:54:22

He's got to swim. He's got to climb.

0:54:230:54:25

Every muscle in his body must be burning now.

0:54:250:54:27

By this stage it really is mind over matter.

0:54:270:54:31

He makes the first launchpad.

0:54:340:54:36

Now the second. He's on.

0:54:390:54:42

It's a short jump to the finish, can he do that?

0:54:420:54:44

Any strength left at all?

0:54:440:54:46

He's done it but it's not enough.

0:54:460:54:49

Remember No Gary Barlow Andy doesn't know his time,

0:54:490:54:51

it's over to Amanda to break the news.

0:54:510:54:54

That was unbelievable.

0:54:570:54:59

You did so well at the beginning of the course and then you kind of faltered at the end, what went wrong?

0:54:590:55:04

Balance, out of steam.

0:55:040:55:08

I need to hit the gym a bit more.

0:55:080:55:10

Well, I can tell you right now that Ricky you were faster, Andy I'm sorry, you're not going through.

0:55:100:55:16

-KLAXON SOUNDS

-Olympic Les is all that stands

0:55:190:55:23

between Unassuming Ricky and that £10,000 prize.

0:55:230:55:26

Not that he knows that.

0:55:260:55:27

Can the oldest Wipeout Zone competitor

0:55:300:55:32

beat the 24-year-old wrestler?

0:55:320:55:34

Don't forget that Olympic Les is a champion athlete.

0:55:340:55:37

He has swum to the beam. He's on.

0:55:370:55:40

This is greased and as slippery as, well, it's possible to imagine.

0:55:400:55:45

Up on to the Barrel Run.

0:55:450:55:47

It will be hard to better No Gary Barlow Andy's pace on this.

0:55:470:55:51

Let's not forget Unassuming Ricky came unstuck here.

0:55:510:55:54

Olympic Les though springs over the barrels without even breaking sweat.

0:55:540:55:57

The crowd love it.

0:55:570:55:59

Now the monkey bars.

0:55:590:56:01

-Yes!

-Oh, one arm.

0:56:020:56:04

He's in trouble. He's in the water. Olympic Les dropped like a stone.

0:56:040:56:08

That's going to damage his time straightaway.

0:56:080:56:11

But veteran athlete, Olympic Les, digs deep and he is back up and

0:56:150:56:18

across in no time, on to the Spinner now. He's on.

0:56:180:56:22

Les looking tired now.

0:56:240:56:26

Taking a breather. He's going to have to make his jump soon.

0:56:260:56:31

Maybe this time. Here it comes.

0:56:310:56:34

He jumps, but...

0:56:340:56:36

Oh, he can't hang on. He's off.

0:56:360:56:38

I really thought he was safely on then, but gravity

0:56:380:56:41

and the slippy life jacket

0:56:410:56:43

just got the better of Les.

0:56:430:56:44

So the Brusher, someone's got to do it. Someone's got to. Oh...

0:56:440:56:51

A knowing smile from Unassuming Ricky.

0:56:530:56:55

Nevertheless, Les digs deep once again.

0:57:000:57:03

He's experienced enough to know just keep going.

0:57:030:57:06

All hope of winning the £10,000 has evaporated now.

0:57:060:57:10

Come on, he's on to number one.

0:57:100:57:13

Now we've got number two launch pad.

0:57:130:57:17

He leaps.

0:57:170:57:19

He's up.

0:57:190:57:21

Come on, Les. Superb effort from the veteran athlete.

0:57:210:57:25

Now a leap to the podium and he's finished.

0:57:250:57:28

He has, well done, Olympic Les.

0:57:310:57:33

Thank you.

0:57:380:57:40

-I know that you have said that you generally beat people half your age, Les?

-I do, indeed.

0:57:400:57:44

Well, unfortunately, not tonight because Ricky Martin you are still

0:57:440:57:49

the reflection of perfection, the Total Wipeout champion!

0:57:490:57:52

Come on, baby. Wooh!

0:57:520:57:56

Well done, Ricky.

0:57:560:57:57

So wrestler, Unassuming Ricky has lived up to the hype and become Tonight's Total Wipeout champion.

0:58:000:58:06

Don't forget this won't be the last time we see Ricky, Andy and Les.

0:58:060:58:10

All three will return to take part in the series final

0:58:100:58:13

where we will crown the Total Wipeout series champion.

0:58:130:58:16

Time's up for me, but I'll see you next time for some brand-new

0:58:160:58:19

obstacles like this...

0:58:190:58:20

And some new Wipeouts like that.

0:58:240:58:26

In the meantime, it's goodnight from Amanda and me.

0:58:290:58:31

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:58:370:58:41

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0:58:410:58:44

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