Episode 4 Total Wipeout


Episode 4

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Transcript


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Buenos Aires, South America.

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7,000 miles from home

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unless, of course, you live there.

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20 ordinary Brits including a carpenter,

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an accountant and a man who sells cheese

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will put their courage, their strength and their bodies to the test

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on one of the most breathtaking

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and, to be fair, stupidest obstacle courses ever created.

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Let the games begin!

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Welcome to Total Wipeout, the show that tests competitors' nerves, their courage,

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but above all, their ability to scream whilst flying upside-down through the air.

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The Argentinians have added new bits to the course.

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This is how today's contest is going to work.

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The Qualifier - daunting The Sweeper - dangerous,

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Dizzy Dummies - disorientating.

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And the grand final, the Wipeout Zone - discombobulating.

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So, let's start at the beginning, it's the Qualifier.

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Only the fastest 12 will make it into the next round.

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So, all that's needed now is to introduce my co-host,

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a woman who shows the contestants unwavering love and support

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through the medium of laughing and...

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occasionally pointing at them.

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It's Amanda Byram, who's with the first contestant.

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Here I am with the lovely Emma at the top of the Total Wipeout course.

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Now, Emma, what is your inspiration for being here today?

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I'm the first person from Guernsey and the Channel Islands to take part.

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Are you fit in any way?

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I am, I can do the splits. Do you want me to show you?

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Oh, yes!

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Emma, that is going to come in unbelievably handy

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in more ways than one.

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It's about time someone from Guernsey did this course.

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Bring it on!

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Well, we've all been thinking it. So Emma's from Guernsey

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I think that makes her a "Guerner".

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The first obstacle she'll be facing is new this week.

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Introducing...

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the Walk Of Shame.

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Ten highly unstable occasional tables

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that might throw you into the water.

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Emma will be following in the footsteps of other famous Guerners

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like...er...oh...

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Bergerac! No, that's Jersey...

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-She's onto the Walk Of Shame and off it.

-Oh!

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Oh! Her ability to do the splits being no help whatsoever.

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But that fall is costing her valuable time.

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Come on, Emma The Guerner.

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OK, here comes her second attempt at the Walk Of Shame.

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Showing plucky Guernsey determination made famous by...

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You know...yeah.

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Instead more precious time lost as she swims to the pool edge.

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Now, it's the Sucker Punch.

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It's learnt its trade working in a Rotherham nightclub

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and it learnt it well.

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Come on, Emma The Guerner! Oh, she's doing well!

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She's not doing well.

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No.

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Hang on, is she waving at someone?

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Let's just have a look at that again.

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"Hiya! Going in the mud now."

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That's...that's pretty cool.

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They'll love this in Guernsey's arch-rival Alderney.

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Ugh!

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Looking tired now as she approaches our favourite part of the Qualifier.

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Yes! It's the Big Balls.

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Let's see if those agile legs can take her across the Big Red Balls.

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Yes, let's!

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Go on, go on!

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Have some of that Alderney...oh!

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Yeah.

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Still, never mind, at least you have the pride of knowing

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you're first person from Guernsey to fall off the Big Ball

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covered in mud.

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But look at it, despite everything,

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Emma is still determined to set a good Qualifier time,

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showing us that Guernsey spirit made famous by...um...

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Quick, get me Wikipedia!

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Anyway, Emma still has to face the last of the new obstacles -

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the deadly...

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Zip Wire Of Doom!

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All she has to do is plant herself on that pint-sized football net

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whilst hanging on for dear life,

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trying to avoid two huge, padded posts.

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Here she goes.

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Our first contestant.

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Can she do it?

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Can she do it? She's wheezing for Guer...

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Oh, the Zip Wire Of Doom not really living up to its name.

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Anyway, she finishes in a benchmark time of 3 minutes 15!

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You see? Look, no doom there.

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No doom the... No, it's just a Zip Wire!

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Our next contestant is 30-year-old Aaron.

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who has a secret.

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This is my brother. His name is Cow. CUCKOO SOUND

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We're all from the planet Cow and we all have the same names

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so this is Cow and I'm Cow.

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I am the Cow-Man, I have the power of the cow behind me!

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Mooo!

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HORN SOUNDS

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OK, scared and slightly nervous.

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Aligning himself with the athletic qualities of a cow.

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But when Aaron isn't being as mad as a cow,

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he works for London Underground.

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Oh, mind the gap!

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Let's see.

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Where is Cow-Man when you need him?

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That was a bit like a cow actually.

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It was like a confused cow on a cattle grid.

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Oh, he's fallen again!

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Right, here we go, the second lot.

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And it's...

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No, it's just gone wrong.

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Right, on to the Sucker Punch for Aaron.

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Dodgy, dodgy.

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Hanging on well.

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Oh! Right in the udders!

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Doing well against those pummelling...

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No, that's what's known as cow tipping, I believe.

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Go on, Cow-Man!

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Cow-Man hoping to avoid a rawhide here.

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Oh...

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Oh! Somebody call the RSPCA, there is a cow in some distress.

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He looks terrified because this looks impossible

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but the Zip Wire Of Doom really is not very doomy.

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So Aaron moves himself into the lead

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with a time of 2 minutes and 6 seconds.

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-Can I do it again?

-I don't quite know what to do with you!

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-Mooo!

-Mooo!

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MUSIC: "EASTENDERS THEME" by Simon May

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Let's meet Phil and Grant Mitchell.

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I mean, Scott and Nathan.

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And just like the hard men of Albert Square,

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they're both rough, tough, no-nonsense blokes.

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And they have something else in common.

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Have you spotted it yet?

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Yep, that's right.

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They both use moisturiser!

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You can't wipe me out! I've got monkey power! O-oo-oo!

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Monkey power?

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Prepare for the Man Of Steel!

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Man Of Steel?

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Hang on, can we pause it?

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Let's get this straight, you don't make up your nicknames,

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I make up the nicknames. We let Cow-Man through, but Monkey-Man Scott

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you're now Nickname Violation 1 and Man Of Steel Nathan

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you're Nickname Violation 2. OK?

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Both off to a great start then.

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When Scott's not taking part in weird Argentinian obstacle courses,

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-he's a vet.

-Oh! Monkey power right there...

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Not!

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..And Nathan hangs out in the Queen Vic... No, not really.

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He's a mobile phone consultant.

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Nathan says he's terrible at making people laugh.

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RICHARD LAUGHS

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Oh, I don't know about that, I think you have a talent for it.

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Grant...I mean Scott's turn to tackle the Balls.

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And the same result for him.

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Scott showing us a perfect on-and-off technique there.

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Says he's got the balance of a cat.

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Finally, the terrifying Zip Wire Of Doom

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looks like it's claimed its first victim.

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And another!

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Accept it - you're not landing. That'll do.

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And so the Mitchells, I mean Scott and Nathan

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really showing us how hard the Qualifier is

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by both crawling in in slow-ish times.

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Will that be enough to see them into the top 12?

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Whoever would have thought watching grown men falling off some massive balls would be so funny.

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Oh, yeah, everyone.

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Although those Big Balls aren't the only things causing the contenders to come a cropper.

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# Have you ever heard about the wibbly wobbly walk?

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# Well, just in case you've not

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# I'll tell you on the spot

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# The wibbly wobbly walk is only just another way

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# You'll notice half a dozen fellows when they're on the spree

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# In half a dozen minutes they are all for jollity

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# And they all walk

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# The wibbly wobbly walk

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# All talk the wibbly wobbly talk

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# All wear wibbly wobbly ties

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# And wink at all the pretty girls

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# With wibbly wobbly eyes... #

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I don't want a DNF, that's what's terrifying me.

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What's a DNF?

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Did Not Finish.

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Meet 24-year-old dental nurse Annette.

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And let's see if the course is something

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she can get her teeth in to.

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Oh!

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Ooh!

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Open wide and say, "Argh!"

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This could take a few takes. Cut!

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My nickname's The Kid, I'm going to get on my bike and roll through this course. Come on!

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Just to clarify, his mum wouldn't allow him a bike.

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Yes, this is sofa salesman Hasmit and your nickname isn't The Kid,

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it's Sofa Salesman Hasmit.

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Maybe a bike was a good idea.

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Well, I can confirm that both Annette and Hasmit did indeed finish.

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Well...surely they must have done by now.

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Let's take a look at the first leader board.

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In pole position, it's Cow-Man Aaron, followed by Guerner Emma

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and dental nurse Annette with three minutes, 44.

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They're followed by Nickname Violation 1, Scott

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and Nickname Violation 2, Nathan.

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And bringing up the rear

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with four minutes, 15 is Sofa Salesman Hasmit.

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-Woo!

-Maybe our next competitor can do a better job.

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Sammy's my name and winning's my game.

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You gotta watch this space, I'm gonna win this race.

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And probably fall on her face.

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She's away. So this is Sammy,

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a mortgage administrator from Merseyside

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and she has a trick up her sleeve that might help.

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She's made of rubber.

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Which doesn't help her here.

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How about the Balls?

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No.

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But wow, like pretty much everybody so far,

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she vanquishes the Zip Wire Of Doom

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and finishes in a very respectable 2 minutes 43.

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Jorden, making obstacle courses look easy since 1988. Come on!

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Yes(!) Meet 21-year-old deodorant researcher Jorden.

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There's nothing this man doesn't know about sweaty armpits.

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Oh!

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We'll have a few words later, give you a few tips.

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-Really?

-Yeah, pretty much.

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He really does do that for a job. Here goes BO Jorden.

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Onto his feet...onto his feet and away.

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Ouch!

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Oh, that's gotta hurt.

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Obviously he's rolled on past that obstacle.

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BO Jorden is not only quick, but he won't stain your armpits.

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This is a fast time.

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Oh, no! He's in. But he's out again.

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Now, the Balls.

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Oh, crikey!

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He's like a little bullet.

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He went hell for leather and very nearly ran across the whole lot.

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This is a stunningly-fast time of one minute, 34

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and one of the fastest times of the series so far.

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But does he still smell like a fresh everglade on a spring morning?

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Probably.

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How smelly are you after it?

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Have a look.

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Hmm, pretty good.

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MUSIC: "Mama Told Me Not Come" by Tom Jones

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-Our next contestants have a tough act to follow.

-Bring on the Big Red Balls!

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This is for the ginger nuts!

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It's mum and daughter, Sue and Becky Burns.

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They're a family unit.

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The Burns Unit if you like.

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I'm joined by Becky and Sue from Enniskillen

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and I'm trying to figure out who's the mother and who's the daughter with the pompoms.

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-Daughter.

-Daughter, yeah.

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I'm the old bag, I'm the mother.

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So it's the battle of the Burns Unit -

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daughter Becky versus mum Sue.

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Oh! And Mum's already in trouble.

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Now it's Becky's turn.

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Hang on, wow!

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Becky's showing her mum how to make the Walk Of Shame

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a walk in the park.

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Aww! That was almost genius!

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So far in the battle of the Burns Unit

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daughter Becky's proving she's got what it takes.

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OK, it's a big ask but can mum Sue do any better?

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No, it's not in the genes.

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Mummy Burns may have fallen, but she's done it in style.

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That is poetry in motion.

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I'm going to commission a small, porcelain statue

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or perhaps a painting on a plate.

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So, the battle of the Burns Unit reaches the Sucker Punch.

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Up first, Becky.

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Oh! Mum's going to have to wash those.

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Now can Mum use her experience to outdo her daughter?

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Clearly not, no!

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She's gone.

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Still it's lucky she's already got to put a load on anyway.

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Becky's already conquered the Walk Of Shame

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can she conquer the Balls?

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Oh, here we go! Come on, Balls!

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Now is the time.

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No. She just can't.

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How about Mum?

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Come on - wisdom, experience...

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that's another "no".

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Still strangely graceful nevertheless.

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Now the Zip Wire Of Doom.

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Looks like Becky's using a tactic of swinging wide.

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If only she knew you don't need to bother with tactics, it's easy.

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Anyway, she finally makes it with a very respectable 2 minutes 48.

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Can Mummy Burns put in a last-gasp effort

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to catch up with her daughter?

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Well, yes. Yes she can.

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Kind of. No tactics, just gently hanging on

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until she's safely onto the net.

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Mum knows best but finishes slowest with three minutes, 15.

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So, what is it you do for a living?

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I work for an energy company, I'm an account administrator.

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MUSIC: "I've Got The Power" by Snap

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Can electric Tania power her way through the course?

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-Oh, short circuit!

-Ah!

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Are the electricity puns working for you?

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Ah, she's blown a fuse.

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There's plenty more of these if you want them.

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How not to do it.

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Sometimes it takes ages

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to come up with the nicknames for the contenders.

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And I took ages on this one.

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Do some damage!

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Meet Scary Claire.

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Scary is a 23-year-old flood risk engineer

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and we're all on flood alert for this one.

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That looks like a flood risk right there.

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Oh, that's an amber alert flood risk.

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Or something.

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Come on, Claire.

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Yeah, that nickname was genius, wasn't it? It just fits.

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-Just sometimes you know.

-I'm scared!

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Possible flood risk now. Scary versus the Balls.

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I'll get the sandbags.

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Oh!

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Ah!

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Now the only thing left to scare Claire is the Zip Wire Of Doom.

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This looks fast.

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Can she challenge BO Jorden's time of 1 minute 34?

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Nearly! Claire is now in second place.

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So, still smelling success in top spot

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is BO Jorden.

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With Scary Claire now a close second,

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pushing the Cow-Man into third.

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Next is Rubber Sammy and the Burns Unit, Becky and Mummy Burns.

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Next is Guerner Emma and bringing up the rear,

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it's Nicknames Violations 1 and 2

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and Sofa Salesman Hasmit.

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Up next is mother-of-two Karolyne.

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MUSIC: "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond

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And here with me now at the top of the Total Wipeout course

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is the lovely Karolyne who is a mother of two.

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Karolyne, is that your motivation for being here today, the babies?

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Yeah, my children, they want to see me fall off the Balls.

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And I'm just out here to show that there's some larger people out there

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and we can go out and do it just as well as the fit ones.

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MUSIC: "Goldfinger" by Shirley Bassey

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I'm doing this for all the big mothers, watch me smash this course.

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Good on you, Karolyne - doing it for your kids.

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We've seen that motivation before...

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Not always with good results.

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I'll bet your kids can't wait to get to school on Monday.

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Let's look out for things that might embarrass her, kids.

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Nothing so far as she comes on to the Walk Of Shame.

0:17:400:17:42

Oh!

0:17:420:17:43

Let's see if Karolyne can keep this clear run going for her kids.

0:17:450:17:48

Yep, lovely!

0:17:490:17:51

Lovely there.

0:17:510:17:53

Very neat backwards dismount coming up.

0:17:530:17:57

Smashing stuff.

0:17:570:17:58

Ah!

0:18:010:18:02

You see, she may have fallen in, but she's still hungry for it.

0:18:020:18:06

Come on, Karolyne.

0:18:060:18:07

Right, the Sucker Punch.

0:18:070:18:09

Keep those fingers crossed, kids.

0:18:100:18:12

Keep 'em crossed.

0:18:140:18:15

Ouch!

0:18:150:18:16

Um...

0:18:160:18:17

Ooo!

0:18:180:18:19

Ohh!

0:18:220:18:23

So the kids, maybe,

0:18:230:18:25

could be getting a bit twitchy about Monday morning now.

0:18:250:18:30

Why don't we leave Mum there for a minute or two, kids

0:18:310:18:35

and you can maybe pick up some of those texts you seem to be getting.

0:18:350:18:38

Anyway, who's that I see?

0:18:400:18:41

Why, shiver my timbers but it looks like one of those real-life pirates.

0:18:410:18:45

Well, actually this swashbuckling cutthroat is called...Andy.

0:18:450:18:49

Now it's my turn, I hope I don't crash and burn.

0:18:490:18:52

And he's really a print manager. Not of the seven seas but Swansea.

0:18:520:18:56

Well, his hat thing stayed on. That's good.

0:19:050:19:07

OK, Andy says his strategy is to go as quickly as possible.

0:19:070:19:11

It's a good strategy and so far it's working well.

0:19:110:19:15

Ohhh!

0:19:160:19:17

Certainly got his sea legs to work fast there.

0:19:170:19:20

And now our pirate's going to walk the plank

0:19:220:19:25

to the Balls.

0:19:250:19:26

But it'll be fine cos...

0:19:260:19:28

Oh, no! Man overboard!

0:19:280:19:30

Man overboard.

0:19:310:19:32

Oh, dear. Chin up, Pugwash.

0:19:320:19:34

He might have fallen on his pieces of eight there.

0:19:350:19:38

But he finishes in good time - two minutes and one second.

0:19:380:19:42

Even though he suffered a nasty injury, a bandanna-ectomy.

0:19:420:19:46

And I thought that bandanna was covering a full head of hair.

0:19:460:19:49

Anyway, back to Karolyne, winners don't quite and quitters don't win

0:19:500:19:54

and also don't fall in the mud.

0:19:540:19:56

Ugh! I feel like the creature from the deep.

0:19:560:20:00

Don't say that, it's not that deep.

0:20:000:20:02

You're going to be fine. Go on!

0:20:020:20:04

All the way to the Big Balls now. Kids, this is it!

0:20:040:20:07

She's doing this for you.

0:20:070:20:09

Oh, this is...

0:20:090:20:11

We're all sharing something special.

0:20:110:20:13

Come on, Karolyne, for your kids.

0:20:130:20:15

Right.

0:20:170:20:18

Come on, Karolyne.

0:20:180:20:19

Right.

0:20:240:20:25

One, two, three.

0:20:250:20:29

Oh!

0:20:290:20:30

Oh-uh!

0:20:300:20:31

Oh!

0:20:310:20:32

Oo! Oh!

0:20:320:20:34

You know, if you are still watching, kids,

0:20:370:20:39

it takes genuine bravery to do what your mum's just done.

0:20:390:20:42

So go to school with your head held high on Monday...

0:20:420:20:45

or maybe Tuesday.

0:20:450:20:47

And she calls it a day, but at least she gave it her all.

0:20:480:20:52

Boy, did she.

0:20:520:20:54

I'm very proud, you know, there's loads of people out there

0:20:540:20:57

that want to be in my position - probably not quite as muddy as I was.

0:20:570:21:01

I'm a bit sad that I didn't complete the course, but I'm very proud that I'm here

0:21:010:21:05

and I took part and I got over the Red Balls.

0:21:050:21:08

That is the spirit I love to see on Total Wipeout.

0:21:080:21:11

But if you thought Karolyne was gung ho then stand by for the next contestant - 46-year-old Amo.

0:21:110:21:17

An accountant keen to dispel the myth that they're all boring

0:21:170:21:21

by describing himself as...

0:21:210:21:23

..talkative and witty...

0:21:250:21:27

..a real daredevil...

0:21:290:21:31

..OK, he's a bean counter.

0:21:330:21:35

Amo's approaching this like a tax return.

0:21:360:21:39

He's going to cheat his way round things.

0:21:390:21:41

Hang on. Must have dropped his lucky pen somewhere.

0:21:410:21:44

Searching...

0:21:440:21:45

Not the time.

0:21:450:21:47

Go without it.

0:21:470:21:49

OK, let's hope he's as good at balancing on these

0:21:490:21:52

as he is at balancing the books.

0:21:520:21:54

No, he's not.

0:21:540:21:55

Come on, Amo, you're changing our massive stereotypes

0:21:550:21:59

about boring accountants.

0:21:590:22:01

Now, he's already worked the balls out on a spreadsheet...

0:22:020:22:05

Oh! He forgot to carry the two, that's what happened.

0:22:050:22:09

The head for figures has just hammered it

0:22:110:22:14

through that big rubber ball.

0:22:140:22:15

Oh, where's he going?

0:22:180:22:20

He's swimming past the Zip Wire.

0:22:200:22:22

The other way. Amo!

0:22:220:22:24

Yeah, this way, mate!

0:22:240:22:25

There! The ladder.

0:22:250:22:26

Finally, onto the Zip Wire Of Doom.

0:22:260:22:30

Why is it called that?

0:22:300:22:32

What is it, haunted or something?

0:22:320:22:34

Let's just try something, it's just not...

0:22:350:22:38

Even in slow motion, you see?

0:22:380:22:40

"Oh, I saw a ghost!"

0:22:400:22:42

No, that's a cloud. It's...it's just

0:22:420:22:44

Ah, well! Amo finishes proving not all accountants

0:22:440:22:48

are boring pen pushers.

0:22:480:22:49

Next up is 18-year-old Pint Size Jenny.

0:22:510:22:54

Jenny, I feel like the Jolly Green Giant.

0:22:540:22:57

Teeny-tiny, aren't you?

0:22:570:22:58

Yeah!

0:22:580:22:59

Jenny practiced at home by jumping between ten egg cups in the kitchen.

0:23:000:23:04

Oh.

0:23:040:23:05

Ohhh!

0:23:100:23:11

Quick! Someone throw her in the water wings.

0:23:110:23:14

This cheese man's a winner and I'll grate right through the course.

0:23:150:23:18

39-year-old cheese seller Mark

0:23:180:23:20

is already using a variety of bad cheese metaphors.

0:23:200:23:24

You wouldn't catch me doing that.

0:23:240:23:26

DRUM ROLL

0:23:280:23:30

Cheddar luck next time!

0:23:320:23:33

Oh! Finally got some drums in.

0:23:330:23:35

This is for all the girls out there

0:23:360:23:38

that think they can't do it but they can.

0:23:380:23:40

I'm going to kick this course into touch so watch me.

0:23:400:23:43

Right on...eh, sisters.

0:23:430:23:44

Fitness manager Kate from...

0:23:440:23:45

Oh, dear.

0:23:450:23:47

Er, girl power?

0:23:490:23:50

It's...oww!

0:23:500:23:51

Both the girls are having trouble on the Sucker Punch.

0:23:530:23:56

Are you all right, Jen?

0:23:590:24:00

Doing good!

0:24:000:24:02

Doing brilliant!

0:24:020:24:03

Time to answer that age-old question -

0:24:130:24:16

do cheese sellers bounce?

0:24:160:24:20

Yep, they do.

0:24:200:24:22

OK, can Kate get further than Cheesy Mark?

0:24:220:24:25

Oh, looking good.

0:24:250:24:27

Yes! Yes...

0:24:270:24:29

No, no, she can't.

0:24:290:24:30

It was a good leap, but a bad dive followed.

0:24:300:24:35

So maybe small is best. Jen is so tiny, maybe she can skip across.

0:24:350:24:39

Not even denting the Big Balls.

0:24:420:24:44

Or just do a massive, comedy head-dive.

0:24:440:24:46

So, Mark finishes. It was a brie-eze.

0:24:480:24:52

A-ha! Told you these jokes would pay for themselves.

0:24:520:24:56

Next, Jenny manages to finish.

0:24:560:24:58

Yes!

0:24:580:24:59

Can Kate complete the trio?

0:24:590:25:01

Is there a half moon out tonight?

0:25:050:25:07

Amanda, leave it! It looks like Kate's got plenty of, er...

0:25:090:25:12

cheek there. Right there.

0:25:120:25:15

Cheeky Kate finishes in two minutes, 55,

0:25:150:25:17

a time that might just be good enough to get her into the top 12

0:25:170:25:21

and help salvage her dignity.

0:25:210:25:23

Meet Accident And Emergency plaster technician Gordon,

0:25:230:25:27

today's oldest competitor, he's 53.

0:25:270:25:30

Oh!

0:25:310:25:32

-RICHARD LAUGHS

-It's amazing what you can do with false hips nowadays.

0:25:340:25:38

I just saw things that I did not want to see.

0:25:380:25:41

I might work in A and E, but I'm not going to end up in it.

0:25:430:25:46

Watch me go!

0:25:460:25:48

OK. He's away.

0:25:500:25:53

He's in.

0:25:530:25:55

He's out. Gordon fixes broken limbs for a living so break a leg, Gordon.

0:25:550:25:59

Oh, no! I meant "good luck".

0:25:590:26:02

Oh!

0:26:040:26:06

Uh-huh.

0:26:090:26:10

Where's he going?

0:26:110:26:12

Where's he going?

0:26:130:26:14

It is terrible, when you get older you fall into the water

0:26:160:26:19

and then you forget what you went in there for.

0:26:190:26:22

Over here, Gordon.

0:26:220:26:23

Over here. Yeah.

0:26:230:26:24

Retrace your steps, Gordon.

0:26:240:26:26

What were you thinking? Was it your keys?

0:26:260:26:28

Let's hope he doesn't lose more than his bearings on the Sucker Punch.

0:26:310:26:34

Oh!

0:26:360:26:37

Oww!

0:26:370:26:38

He may be closing in on his pension, but he can sure take a punch.

0:26:390:26:43

Well, he got one anyway.

0:26:430:26:44

Of course when he was a lad, all this were fields.

0:26:450:26:47

Right, the Big Balls.

0:26:490:26:51

Go on!

0:26:510:26:52

Oh! You see to Gordon this is just like

0:26:520:26:55

one of those giant walk-in baths he sees advertised.

0:26:550:26:59

This has been a wonderful dream!

0:26:590:27:01

What? What kind of dream is that?

0:27:010:27:03

Oww.

0:27:030:27:04

Oww.

0:27:050:27:07

Well done, Gordon, eventually finishing three minutes, 24,

0:27:080:27:11

just in time to watch Last Of The Summer Wine.

0:27:110:27:14

OK, 19 down and only one competitor remains.

0:27:140:27:17

His name is Dan.

0:27:170:27:20

And he wears a headband.

0:27:210:27:23

Hang on, haven't we had a Headband Dan?

0:27:230:27:25

-LOW VOICE:

-Long ago in the land of Muddy Earth,

0:27:270:27:30

legend tells of a hero called Dan.

0:27:300:27:34

And his headband.

0:27:340:27:37

A powerful talisman that was lost to the world of men.

0:27:370:27:41

But now a new Dan has dawned.

0:27:420:27:45

The headband has returned in the...

0:27:450:27:48

I'm ready, are you ready? Let's get it on!

0:27:530:27:56

You shall not pass!

0:27:560:27:58

-Dan, I feel like I've known you my whole life.

-Yeah, me too.

0:27:580:28:02

That headband is a really tough look.

0:28:020:28:06

Well, if you consider the kids from Fame hard.

0:28:060:28:09

Dan's a carpenter and I hope they've sanded that slide down

0:28:100:28:13

or that might have given him a nasty splinter

0:28:130:28:16

Just so long as he's got the headband nothing can go wrong.

0:28:180:28:21

Oh!

0:28:210:28:22

Oh! He's lost his headband.

0:28:220:28:23

Without his headband, Headband Dan is just...Dan.

0:28:230:28:27

See? The power was in the headband.

0:28:280:28:30

He has no idea of the danger he's exposing himself to.

0:28:340:28:37

Come on, this is your time -

0:28:370:28:39

last one to get across.

0:28:390:28:41

Without your headband, you're going to do this?

0:28:410:28:43

Brave.

0:28:490:28:51

But ultimately futile.

0:28:510:28:52

Dan needs to dig deep for this last bit

0:28:540:28:56

if he wants to make the next round.

0:28:560:28:59

And he finishes in two minutes, 35.

0:29:010:29:05

Woo!

0:29:050:29:06

Oh, that's better.

0:29:100:29:12

So, here's our final top 12,

0:29:130:29:15

led by BO Jorden, Scary Claire and Pirate Andy.

0:29:150:29:19

They're followed by Cheesy Mark, Cow-Man Aaron

0:29:210:29:24

and now Return Of The Headband Dan

0:29:240:29:26

Behind them, it's Rubber Sammy, Becky Burns and Cheeky Kate.

0:29:280:29:32

And finally, Electric Tania,

0:29:320:29:34

with Mummy Burns and Guerner Emma sharing last place.

0:29:340:29:37

So we have the mighty 12 who are storming into the next round.

0:29:380:29:42

But before that, let's take a moment and remember those brave men and women we leave behind,

0:29:420:29:47

forever in our thoughts.

0:29:470:29:49

Well, until somebody else falls over or does something funny.

0:29:490:29:53

MUSIC: "Here In My Heart" by Al Martino

0:29:530:29:55

Yes, it's back.

0:31:090:31:11

Double the trouble and double the fun.

0:31:110:31:13

Well, for us watching.

0:31:130:31:15

It's the crushing, twin Sweeper arms that rotate faster

0:31:150:31:19

whilst slowly closing in on the 12 remaining contestants

0:31:190:31:23

as they try and balance on 13-foot-high podiums.

0:31:230:31:26

Only the last five standing will make it into the next round

0:31:270:31:31

And keep the dream of winning £10,000 alive.

0:31:310:31:34

So, let's meet the remaining plucky 12 contestants.

0:31:370:31:41

Standing on podium 1 and 2, it's Cheeky Kate...

0:31:410:31:44

It's time for an all-girl final. Let's do this!

0:31:440:31:47

..and Return Of The Headband Dan.

0:31:470:31:49

I'll be the Total Wipeout king with the crown. You lot are going down!

0:31:490:31:52

Podium 3 and 4 is Scary Claire and our Swansea Pirate Andy.

0:31:520:31:59

Watch me leap as I sweep up the competition!

0:31:590:32:01

On 5, 6 and 7, Cow-Man Aaron...

0:32:010:32:05

Moo!

0:32:050:32:06

..Yes.

0:32:060:32:07

-Guerner Emma.

-EMMA WHIMPERS

0:32:070:32:09

Gurning away there.

0:32:090:32:10

And Qualifier king, BO Jorden.

0:32:100:32:13

Amanda, get me a beer in - I'll be down in a minute.

0:32:130:32:16

On podiums 8, 9 and 10 are Cheesy Mark

0:32:160:32:19

and the Burns Unit Sue and Becky.

0:32:190:32:21

Becca, if I'm going down, you're coming with me.

0:32:210:32:25

Yeah, thanks, Mum(!)

0:32:250:32:26

You're going down, Mum. Rrr!

0:32:260:32:28

And finally on 11 and 12 is Rubber Sammy and Electric Tania.

0:32:280:32:33

Guys, do the math. This one's all about the girls!

0:32:330:32:36

She works for an electricity company remember.

0:32:360:32:39

So the 12 all look ready to brave the Crusher, only 5 can survive.

0:32:390:32:44

But don't worry, I can't be hurt here...

0:32:440:32:47

at all.

0:32:470:32:48

Are you all ready?

0:32:480:32:51

-SOME CHEER

-Yep, they couldn't sound less enthusiastic.

0:32:510:32:54

Oh, well.

0:32:540:32:55

Three, two, one!

0:32:550:32:58

HORN SOUNDS

0:32:580:32:59

And we're off, those twin arms start their work

0:33:010:33:04

and it's so far so good. Andy clear.

0:33:040:33:06

Cow-man Aaron. Oh!

0:33:060:33:08

Qualifier king Jorden's in trouble but he scrambles to his feet.

0:33:080:33:11

And the other seem to...

0:33:110:33:13

Oh, no, that's Tania.

0:33:130:33:14

She can't get her feet up quickly enough

0:33:140:33:17

and Electric Tania's been cut off.

0:33:170:33:20

It's absolutely terrifying.

0:33:200:33:22

It looks like a harmless piece of equipment, but it's terrible.

0:33:220:33:26

So The Crusher makes its second sweep.

0:33:260:33:28

Who's going to be next to fall?

0:33:280:33:30

I don't believe it!

0:33:300:33:31

BO Jorden falls again and he's hanging on for dear life.

0:33:310:33:35

and he's not the only one, it's carnage.

0:33:350:33:38

There goes the Burns Unit followed Rubber Sammy.

0:33:380:33:40

Let's see that again.

0:33:400:33:42

So, first mum Sue is flipped...

0:33:430:33:46

You think it looks so easy on television until you stand up there

0:33:470:33:50

and you're going like that.

0:33:500:33:52

..And then daughter Becky...

0:33:530:33:55

I'm pretty sore. I'll need a few painkillers this evening.

0:33:550:33:58

..And Sammy proving that being made of rubber

0:33:580:34:01

is no help at all in jumping over padded arms.

0:34:010:34:04

Brr.

0:34:040:34:05

I'm over it.

0:34:060:34:07

No, you weren't over it, Sammy, that was the problem.

0:34:070:34:10

Argh!

0:34:100:34:11

And still Jorden hangs on in there but that Crusher is relentless.

0:34:110:34:16

The others all seem make, will he?

0:34:160:34:18

-No. He has to fall.

-Aww!

0:34:180:34:21

Oh, I was rubbish.

0:34:220:34:24

No words to describe it.

0:34:250:34:26

There are words to describe it,

0:34:260:34:28

you just said one - "rubbish".

0:34:280:34:30

So we're down to the last seven.

0:34:310:34:33

Remember, only the last five standing

0:34:330:34:35

will make it into the next round

0:34:350:34:37

and the Crusher is getting faster while that gap is getting smaller.

0:34:370:34:41

They're doing extremely well so far

0:34:410:34:43

but who will be first to crack by getting cracked on the shins?

0:34:430:34:47

Oh, that's Cheeky Kate been totally wiped out, crusher style.

0:34:480:34:53

The jump was too big, she's been flipped right over

0:34:560:34:59

and those cheeks wave goodbye to the £10,000.

0:34:590:35:03

The Sweeper was getting so high,

0:35:050:35:06

we're talking hip-high, and it was fantastic.

0:35:060:35:09

This means just one more has to fall. Who will it be?

0:35:100:35:14

Oh! Hang on, that's one, two, it's three in a row!

0:35:140:35:18

Andy goes first, but manages to hang on.

0:35:180:35:21

Then it's a real twister for Guerner Emma.

0:35:210:35:24

Cheesy Mark gets flipped like a burger - cheeseburger.

0:35:250:35:29

Pirate Andy has clung on meaning Emma is the last to be eliminated.

0:35:290:35:33

I'm only a little shortie.

0:35:330:35:35

The bar just got a bit too high and off I went.

0:35:350:35:37

Brilliant, though!

0:35:370:35:39

Oh!

0:35:410:35:42

Although Mark topples off in spectacular style, it's after Emma

0:35:430:35:47

so he's safely into the next round as one of the last five,

0:35:470:35:51

who now include Andy- who's back on his feet -

0:35:510:35:54

the Cow-Man, Return Of The Headband Dan

0:35:540:35:57

and Scary Claire.

0:35:570:35:58

They're all safe, but the game doesn't stop, they'll play on

0:35:580:36:01

to see who'll be the last man or woman standing

0:36:010:36:04

and claim the Crusher crown.

0:36:040:36:06

Well, this is incredible jumping and Andy stumbles again.

0:36:060:36:09

The relentless arms soon back.

0:36:110:36:13

Yep! This time he loses it.

0:36:130:36:15

The pirate clips the yardarm. He's not such a Jolly Roger any more.

0:36:150:36:20

You'd have thought he'd be used to standing on one leg.

0:36:200:36:22

And now Aaron joins him doing a good impression of a stunned cow.

0:36:250:36:29

Whoops-a-daisy.

0:36:290:36:30

So now it's a two-horse race, Dan versus Scary Claire.

0:36:300:36:35

Look at the speed of the Crusher!

0:36:350:36:36

The jumping gap now so small.

0:36:360:36:38

Dan's getting all cocky.

0:36:410:36:43

The words "just" and "dessert" spring to mind.

0:36:460:36:49

That leaves Scary Claire to be crowned queen of the Crusher.

0:36:490:36:53

That was amazing.

0:36:530:36:55

They both excelled in one of the toughest Total Wipeout

0:36:560:36:58

obstacles to master.

0:36:580:37:00

But the flood risk manager from Buckinghamshire takes it.

0:37:000:37:03

As it turns out the Crusher was more scared of her

0:37:030:37:06

than she was of it.

0:37:060:37:07

A bit like spiders.

0:37:070:37:08

She advances to the next round as the new favourite.

0:37:080:37:11

So, those five competitors are one step closer to clinching the £10,000 prize.

0:37:110:37:16

Unfortunately that one step will be over one of the toughest obstacles so far.

0:37:160:37:22

It's the stomach-churning, trainer-staining...

0:37:220:37:26

lunch...they just make you feel sick, OK?

0:37:260:37:29

It's the Dizzy Dummies!

0:37:290:37:30

Think of it like a roundabout in a playground.

0:37:360:37:39

Except your older brother is pushing you much too fast.

0:37:390:37:42

The five semifinalists whizz round and round until up is down,

0:37:420:37:46

down is up and lunch comes out.

0:37:460:37:48

They must then attempt to stagger through the stumbling Saloon Doors and the Crazy Cut Outs

0:37:480:37:53

before trying to cross the Pipe Bridge

0:37:530:37:55

and the inflatable Doughnut Run.

0:37:550:37:57

Whoever's last to the other side in each run is eliminated

0:38:010:38:04

and then we'll have today's three finalists. Got all that? Good!

0:38:040:38:08

Having watched as much Total Wipeout as I have,

0:38:080:38:11

you'd think I'd know everything there is to know about Dizzy Dummies,

0:38:110:38:14

but you'd think wrong.

0:38:140:38:16

But not knowing anything about something has never stopped me, so here's my report

0:38:160:38:20

on the Dos And Don'ts of how to tackle Dizzy Dummies.

0:38:200:38:23

I'm on the actual Total Wipeout course.

0:38:290:38:31

In the actual Dizzy Dummy that spins actual competitors round...

0:38:310:38:36

..around, around

0:38:370:38:38

until they're actually sick

0:38:380:38:41

or fall in that actual water over there.

0:38:410:38:44

THEY SCREAM

0:38:440:38:47

None of those things are going to happen to me though.

0:38:470:38:49

Two reasons, perfect balance and co-ordination

0:38:490:38:52

and I have a note from my mum

0:38:520:38:54

explaining that I'm not allowed to do the Dizzy Dummies.

0:38:540:38:57

And I've had it translated into Argentinian just in case.

0:38:570:39:01

So these are my Dos And Don'ts for success on the Dizzy Dummies.

0:39:010:39:05

Don't have a big breakfast.

0:39:050:39:08

Do give your opponents the respect they deserve.

0:39:140:39:18

Come on, it's Sudden Death!

0:39:190:39:22

Don't book an appointment for straight after the Dizzy Dummies is finished

0:39:280:39:31

that requires you to be dry.

0:39:310:39:33

Do concentrate all the way to the finish.

0:39:380:39:41

Don't do what Michael did.

0:39:470:39:50

It's just so hard, it's so slippery and you're so dizzy.

0:39:520:39:56

I gave it my all, but I'm sorry.

0:39:560:40:01

So those are my Dos And Don'ts for success on the Dizzy Dummies.

0:40:010:40:05

Thanks, Mum.

0:40:070:40:08

So, will our remaining contestants take the blindest bit of notice?

0:40:110:40:15

Well, we're about to find out.

0:40:150:40:17

Oh, I feel a little bit dizzy.

0:40:170:40:19

Nah, not really. They will be though!

0:40:190:40:21

It's Dizzy Dummies. You lot ready?

0:40:230:40:25

-Yes!

-Hey!

0:40:250:40:27

That was weak.

0:40:270:40:28

Three, two, one.

0:40:280:40:31

-HORN SOUNDS

-So they're off.

0:40:310:40:32

40 seconds of spin.

0:40:320:40:35

Let's remind ourselves of who the Dizzy Dummies are.

0:40:350:40:38

In at 5, there's nothing he doesn't know about cheese...

0:40:380:40:41

I'm gonna grate through the course!

0:40:410:40:44

..It's Cheesy Mark.

0:40:440:40:45

At number four, it's the scourge of Swansea,

0:40:490:40:52

it's Pirate Andy.

0:40:520:40:53

Now, it's my turn, I hope I don't crash...

0:40:550:40:57

..and burn!

0:40:580:41:00

Next up, he's half man...

0:41:030:41:06

Moo!

0:41:060:41:08

..half cow.

0:41:080:41:09

Cow-Man Aaron.

0:41:090:41:10

Can I do it again?

0:41:100:41:13

He's followed by The Return Of The Headband Dan.

0:41:150:41:18

You lot are going down!

0:41:180:41:19

Woo!

0:41:210:41:22

And in at number one, she's the queen of the Crusher

0:41:230:41:26

and she's taking no prisoners.

0:41:260:41:27

Do some damage!

0:41:270:41:29

ROARING

0:41:290:41:30

It's Scary Claire.

0:41:300:41:31

ROARING

0:41:310:41:33

I think that was a roar. Could have been wind,

0:41:330:41:36

or a reaction to the Dizzy Dummies.

0:41:360:41:38

So the Dummy comes to a stop and they're all staggering.

0:41:380:41:42

Return Of The Headband Dan can't actually stand up.

0:41:420:41:45

Now through the Saloon Doors.

0:41:450:41:47

That's like a cowboy stag do.

0:41:470:41:49

Their heads are all over the place.

0:41:490:41:51

That's not a new experience for Aaron who think he's a cow.

0:41:510:41:55

Dan's onto the Pipe Bridge, but he takes a sit down.

0:41:550:41:57

Oh, Scary Claire attacks it,

0:41:570:41:59

but is overcome by a nasty case of the leans.

0:41:590:42:01

Never looks too stable,

0:42:010:42:03

the pipe dream is quickly over as she hits the water.

0:42:030:42:06

Come on, Dan.

0:42:060:42:07

Return Of The Headband Dan back to his feet, but moving gingerly...

0:42:070:42:11

Oh! Even more gingerly now.

0:42:110:42:14

Falling to the left is Aaron, who finds the cattle grid a bit much.

0:42:140:42:17

Scary Claire back through the Saloon Doors

0:42:170:42:20

and she's attacking the Pipe Bridge and she's...

0:42:200:42:22

made it into the water.

0:42:220:42:24

That's the closest to finishing we've seen so far.

0:42:240:42:27

But Claire is straight back at it

0:42:270:42:29

and this time she's made it across the Pipe Bridge!

0:42:290:42:32

She's onto the Pontoon and she won't mind that belly flop

0:42:320:42:35

as she is the first to go through to the next round.

0:42:350:42:38

Cow-Man Aaron following Claire's lead...doesn't quite make it.

0:42:410:42:45

It must be those four stomachs weighing him down.

0:42:450:42:48

Now, The Return Of The Headband Dan

0:42:480:42:51

versus Cheesy Mark. Dan's gone for it and failed.

0:42:510:42:55

He makes it onto the Pontoon though while Mark hits the water

0:42:570:43:01

and he joins Claire into the next round.

0:43:010:43:03

-Victory is Dan's!

-So it's Aaron against Pirate Andy

0:43:030:43:07

with the pirate walking the plank first.

0:43:070:43:09

And Pirate Andy looks like he's made it onto Treasure Island!

0:43:090:43:13

Which leaves just two, Cow-man Aaron versus cheesy Mark,

0:43:130:43:17

both fighting for the last place into the next round.

0:43:170:43:20

Here comes Aaron, taking it very steadily.

0:43:260:43:29

And, yes, he's made it!

0:43:290:43:31

-The Cow-Man clinches the last place in the next round.

-Moo!

0:43:310:43:35

OK. So, it's hard cheese for Cheesy Mark who's out of the competition.

0:43:350:43:40

What happened?

0:43:400:43:41

Oh, I don't know. I just couldn't do it.

0:43:410:43:44

Ugh! Let my boys down, but...

0:43:440:43:47

-How are you feeling?

-Er, gutted.

-Yeah?

0:43:470:43:49

So, five become four. There's still one more contender to lose

0:43:490:43:53

before we can move on to the Wipeout Zone.

0:43:530:43:56

It's back to the Dizzy Dummies!

0:43:560:43:58

HORN SOUNDS

0:43:580:44:00

The spinning stops and the contestants get off very delicately.

0:44:130:44:16

Aaron seems to believe spinning the opposite way

0:44:160:44:19

will some how undo the dizziness.

0:44:190:44:20

We've seen that tried before - it never works.

0:44:200:44:23

Yeah, you see? Just confused.

0:44:230:44:27

Aaron's stuck on the wrong side.

0:44:270:44:29

Andy's the first to attempt the Doughnut. Doesn't make it.

0:44:290:44:32

Dan doesn't either.

0:44:330:44:35

Aaron just makes the first.

0:44:350:44:38

And...oh! Slips on the way to the next doughnut,

0:44:380:44:40

but that's not going to stop him!

0:44:400:44:42

That water's got to be cold - in fact, it's freezing cold, sorry.

0:44:420:44:46

Scary Claire on the first Doughnut.

0:44:460:44:48

They're very moreish, because she's now going for a second.

0:44:480:44:52

Clever girl.

0:44:550:44:56

Sets herself up carefully and, yes, she has done it.

0:44:560:44:59

Here we go, the big leap for the finish.

0:45:010:45:05

Oh, she makes it! Scary Claire books her place in the Wipeout Zone.

0:45:070:45:10

She launches, she does slip, but it's OK! She stays onboard

0:45:120:45:16

and looks delighted.

0:45:160:45:17

Now, who will join her in the final?

0:45:170:45:20

Aaron looks well-placed. Can he hoof it across?

0:45:200:45:22

He jumps and he's just about clinging on.

0:45:220:45:25

-Moo!

-Pulls himself up with a smile and a moo

0:45:270:45:30

secure in the knowledge

0:45:300:45:31

that this cow's not for the knackers' yard yet.

0:45:310:45:33

One place remains. Will it be Return Of The Headband Dan or Pirate Andy?

0:45:330:45:37

Andy onto the second doughnut, he's got to go for the third.

0:45:370:45:40

Oh! Not good enough.

0:45:400:45:43

Dan now making his move.

0:45:430:45:45

Could this be victory?

0:45:450:45:46

He makes the second Doughnut.

0:45:480:45:50

Seems to be praying for victory.

0:45:500:45:53

Slowly gets to his feet.

0:45:530:45:54

Andy hot on his heels of course.

0:45:540:45:56

This will be close.

0:45:560:45:58

Not dignified, but close.

0:45:580:46:00

One last leap to make.

0:46:020:46:05

Steady now, steady...

0:46:050:46:07

Oh! Taking his time.

0:46:090:46:10

This is crucial.

0:46:100:46:12

That's it! That's it!

0:46:120:46:14

He's claimed the final place in the Wipeout Zone.

0:46:140:46:17

And it's the end of the voyage for Pirate Andy.

0:46:170:46:21

Just pipped you at the post.

0:46:260:46:28

I'm glad he did. I really am glad.

0:46:280:46:30

I did one, I was chuffed. That's as far as I needed to go.

0:46:300:46:33

So, we have the three finalists for today who all go into the Wipeout Zone

0:46:330:46:38

for the chance to land that first prize,

0:46:380:46:40

a cheque for £10,000

0:46:400:46:42

and to hold aloft the Total Wipeout trophy...

0:46:420:46:45

which they have to give back afterwards.

0:46:450:46:48

They've all put in some inspiring displays of courage, dexterity...

0:46:480:46:53

..colour co-ordination and balance.

0:46:540:46:57

Let's follow their journey to tonight's Grand Final.

0:46:570:47:00

In my life, I never expected to get this far.

0:47:030:47:06

It's been absolutely amazing. Really enjoyed every minute of it.

0:47:060:47:10

I can't put into words how pleased I am.

0:47:110:47:13

I know I would have made a few people back home proud.

0:47:130:47:16

The whole experience is exhausting -

0:47:170:47:19

physically, mentally. It's adrenaline that keeps you going.

0:47:190:47:22

Exciting but terrifying at the same time.

0:47:220:47:24

I'm aching, I'm creaking, but I've come this far,

0:47:240:47:27

I might as well go right to the end.

0:47:270:47:29

The smart money would be on,

0:47:290:47:31

wait for it, diga-diga-diga-diga-don...

0:47:310:47:34

-..Claire.

-Claire's the biggest competition.

0:47:350:47:37

She's done brilliantly.

0:47:370:47:39

I think the boys are worried,

0:47:390:47:41

with good reason.

0:47:410:47:42

I've jammed it the whole way through.

0:47:420:47:45

I don't feel I have any physical advantages on either of them.

0:47:450:47:48

My advantage is probably speed.

0:47:480:47:50

Me, I'll call myself slow and heavy.

0:47:500:47:53

Being up high on that course is not going to faze me.

0:47:530:47:56

Tonight I'm going to give everything,

0:47:560:47:58

there's no point holding back, this is the end.

0:47:580:48:00

It's very easy to shout advice at the TV

0:48:020:48:04

and when you actually get in there and do it, it's almost impossible.

0:48:040:48:07

This is the big one and I'm really, literally terrified.

0:48:070:48:11

People who've seen the Rocky films know an indisputable fact -

0:48:140:48:18

the last instalment is always the toughest to get through.

0:48:180:48:22

And Total Wipeout is no different, because having made it past everything else,

0:48:220:48:26

the final three must now face their biggest challenge -

0:48:260:48:29

The Wipeout Zone!

0:48:290:48:30

So Aaron, Claire and Dan are ready to tackle

0:48:350:48:38

the world's most terrifying obstacle course.

0:48:380:48:42

First up, it's a high-speed slide down the Killer Surf.

0:48:420:48:44

Then it's a short swim to the Barrel Run

0:48:440:48:47

with a barrage of 50kg barrels.

0:48:470:48:49

Next up, a test of upper body strength awaits

0:48:490:48:52

in the Monkey Bars.

0:48:520:48:54

Then onto the fast-moving Spinner. The longer they're on, the harder it is to get off.

0:48:540:48:58

From there, it's a perilous walk across the Revolving Brusher.

0:48:580:49:01

That's followed by the Launch Pads, two mini trampolines

0:49:010:49:04

surrounded by a deluge of freezing water,

0:49:040:49:07

that all leads to the finish podium where the clock stops.

0:49:070:49:10

Let's join Amanda, who's standing by with tonight's first finalist.

0:49:100:49:14

Yep, it's the Wipeout Zone and, up at the start line, it's Dan.

0:49:140:49:19

So, Dan will be setting the benchmark and, as none of the other finalists get to watch,

0:49:210:49:25

it's just Dan versus the course and the clock.

0:49:250:49:28

Woo! Let's get out this time! Come on! Woo!

0:49:310:49:33

He actually looks very confident.

0:49:330:49:35

HORN SOUNDS

0:49:350:49:37

If this was about whooping, he'd be impossible to beat, but it's not.

0:49:370:49:42

Face plant!

0:49:460:49:47

He needs to get out of the water quickly. Every second is vital.

0:49:470:49:51

Confidence alone is not enough. He'll need speed.

0:49:510:49:56

His style is a bit ungainly -

0:49:560:49:58

kind of like Bambi on ice here - but it seems effective.

0:49:580:50:02

He tackles the barrels.

0:50:030:50:04

That is quick work.

0:50:040:50:06

This is looking very promising.

0:50:060:50:08

Making a monkey of the Monkey Bars,

0:50:080:50:11

despite the freezing water hammering down on him.

0:50:110:50:13

This is a real test.

0:50:130:50:15

-Ooo-a-a-ah!

-Thank you(!)

0:50:150:50:18

Woo!

0:50:190:50:21

Stops for another whoop.

0:50:210:50:22

Fine though, it's not like he's being timed or anything. Relax!

0:50:220:50:26

He's onto the Spinner.

0:50:260:50:27

Wasting time as he struggles to steady himself.

0:50:270:50:32

And also, it's going to make him dizzier.

0:50:320:50:34

He needs to make that leap successfully.

0:50:340:50:37

So many have fallen here.

0:50:370:50:39

Ooh! He makes it!

0:50:390:50:41

Now he composes himself for the Brusher.

0:50:420:50:44

And oh, oh,

0:50:440:50:45

he's fallen!

0:50:450:50:47

SPLASH

0:50:470:50:49

He has fallen, loses his footing almost straight away.

0:50:490:50:52

This is now costing him valuable time.

0:50:520:50:55

It's all in the timing to make it across

0:50:550:50:58

the Brusher and he didn't.

0:50:580:50:59

That fall means he now has to climb up the ladder,

0:50:590:51:02

prepare himself for the first Launch Pad...

0:51:020:51:05

Oh, no! He rebounds. He's into the water.

0:51:050:51:07

He's going to have to climb back up

0:51:070:51:09

and try that again.

0:51:090:51:11

So, back up the ladder, onto the first Launch Pad.

0:51:140:51:18

This time he makes sure.

0:51:180:51:20

Onto the second. Wastes no time getting from there

0:51:230:51:26

onto the finish podium to stop the clock. And the time to beat

0:51:260:51:31

is two minutes, 45.

0:51:310:51:32

Although Dan started well, he lost time by whooping at the crowd

0:51:320:51:36

and taking those two tumbles.

0:51:360:51:38

Let's see how he feels back down on the course with Amanda.

0:51:380:51:41

I feel like a celebrity stuntman for the night.

0:51:420:51:45

Listen, you've been pretty vocal all day,

0:51:450:51:47

but what was all the "come on"?! You were wasting time!

0:51:470:51:51

Geeing the crowd up. I was confident in my time. We'll see what happens.

0:51:510:51:55

OK, so, Dan has staked his claim for tonight's title

0:51:550:51:59

and the £10,000 prize.

0:51:590:52:01

But will his time be good enough to hold off our next contender,

0:52:010:52:04

the Cow-Man Aaron?

0:52:040:52:06

But Aaron is already in trouble before he's begun,

0:52:060:52:09

because he suffers from extreme vertigo.

0:52:090:52:12

Well, why did he come here?!

0:52:120:52:14

Ah, boy! Ah, man.

0:52:160:52:18

I can't...I can't do this.

0:52:180:52:21

Will he even go through with it?

0:52:210:52:22

I ca...

0:52:220:52:24

Is this the end?

0:52:240:52:26

No, hang on... He's going to face his fear!

0:52:280:52:32

HORN SOUNDS

0:52:320:52:33

He's gone for it! That is a brave Cow-Man!

0:52:330:52:36

He into the water.

0:52:400:52:41

He's got to overcome his fear quickly...and he does.

0:52:410:52:44

He manages to find his bearings and swims toward the Barrel Run.

0:52:440:52:47

Brave man.

0:52:500:52:51

Up on his feet - hooves, sorry.

0:52:510:52:54

Shows some good style to hurdle

0:53:000:53:02

those barrels as they cascade towards him.

0:53:020:53:06

He's cleared the Barrel Run! Onto the Monkey Bars.

0:53:060:53:11

Causing him no trouble, even with that cold water crashing onto him.

0:53:110:53:15

Onto the Spinner. Safely makes it on.

0:53:160:53:19

Now, Dan took ages here. What can Aaron do? He seems to be milking it.

0:53:190:53:24

Tick-tock.

0:53:240:53:26

Come on. Maybe this time round.

0:53:260:53:28

Yes, yes, he makes it.

0:53:280:53:31

Approaches the Brusher now.

0:53:310:53:33

Ooh, no! He's come off.

0:53:330:53:35

THEY GROAN

0:53:350:53:36

Just as Dan did before him, the Brusher doing its job.

0:53:360:53:40

Time ticks on as he climbs up.

0:53:400:53:41

He's faster than Dan.

0:53:430:53:44

This will be down to the wire.

0:53:440:53:47

From the first, onto the second.

0:53:470:53:49

Clinging on.

0:53:490:53:50

He's done it!

0:53:520:53:54

And in doing so, Aaron shaves a whopping 25 seconds off Dan's time.

0:53:540:53:59

A very respectable two minutes, 20.

0:53:590:54:02

So Aaron nearly didn't get started at all,

0:54:020:54:05

but once he did, it was a brilliant, all-round display which has put him into pole position.

0:54:050:54:10

Well done you, for actually taking that.

0:54:100:54:12

You were really scared up at the top. You weren't going to do it.

0:54:120:54:16

I was petrified!

0:54:160:54:17

I really wasn't going to do it. This is the worst thing for me. Heights and vertical slides.

0:54:170:54:21

I'm just so proud of myself for getting down it.

0:54:210:54:24

Well, fair play to you, because by doing that, it meant that you were faster than Dan,

0:54:240:54:29

so you are through to the next bit.

0:54:290:54:30

Wooo! Yeah!

0:54:300:54:32

-Dan, good time, man.

-Dan, sorry, man.

0:54:320:54:35

So, the last finalist has it all to play for.

0:54:350:54:38

£10,000 to be exact.

0:54:380:54:40

And a brief go with the trophy, but it does have to go back afterwards.

0:54:400:54:44

Scary Claire has been dominant throughout the day.

0:54:440:54:47

She is one tough lady.

0:54:470:54:48

But can she take that Total Wipeout title?

0:54:480:54:51

She looks completely focused and determined.

0:54:520:54:55

We've already had one female winner this series.

0:54:550:54:59

Are we about to get our second?

0:54:590:55:00

Claire, these might be the most testing three minutes of your life.

0:55:000:55:04

Well, maybe - I haven't known her that long, obviously.

0:55:040:55:06

She's off!

0:55:060:55:08

SPLASH

0:55:080:55:09

And she's in.

0:55:090:55:11

Dismounts the ring to get swimming straight away.

0:55:110:55:14

Scary Claire obviously has no fear.

0:55:140:55:17

Quite slow getting out of the water.

0:55:190:55:21

The barrels are coming already.

0:55:210:55:23

Now she's up, onto her feet and onto the Barrel Run.

0:55:230:55:27

Lets the first go past - nice tactic, that, shows great finesse.

0:55:270:55:31

If there's a stylish way to jump over barrels, this is it.

0:55:310:55:35

She's gliding over them.

0:55:350:55:36

That's the Barrel Run cleared. How will she cope on the Monkey Bars?

0:55:360:55:40

Cold water crashing onto her. It is slowing her up.

0:55:400:55:43

But she's gritted her teeth and made it across.

0:55:430:55:47

She's making good time.

0:55:470:55:49

Draws breath, leaps onto the Spinner.

0:55:500:55:53

It's all about the exit.

0:55:550:55:57

She makes... No! She's in the water.

0:55:570:56:00

She wasn't properly set. Slid straight off.

0:56:000:56:03

Composes herself now and makes for the dash across the Brusher.

0:56:030:56:10

-She gets brushed off.

-THEY GROAN

0:56:100:56:13

She's got to climb back up. She must be tired.

0:56:130:56:16

She can't afford any more mistakes.

0:56:160:56:18

Looking exhausted as she sizes up the trampolines.

0:56:210:56:24

She does well there to deaden her bounce.

0:56:240:56:27

Now, she's getting ready for the second Launch Pad.

0:56:270:56:30

Oh, no! She didn't have the height...and falls backwards.

0:56:300:56:34

Can Claire come back from this?

0:56:340:56:38

It's going to be a tiring climb.

0:56:400:56:41

Back up the trampolines again, onto the first one. There we go.

0:56:410:56:49

She's taking a rest here.

0:56:500:56:53

No, wait a minute! Disaster! Her foot's caught.

0:56:530:56:56

Oh, that's terrible luck!

0:56:560:56:58

Brave Claire, though, goes on...

0:56:590:57:02

..and makes the final Launch Pad.

0:57:040:57:06

Now the final leap for the podium.

0:57:060:57:09

She's made that.

0:57:110:57:13

She's stopped the clock. But that's not going to beat Aaron.

0:57:130:57:16

Claire showed all the tenacity of someone who thought they could win,

0:57:160:57:21

but it wasn't to be.

0:57:210:57:22

She doesn't know that yet, so it's over to Amanda to reveal tonight's champion.

0:57:220:57:27

-I can be proud of what I've done, so...

-We think you were fantastic.

0:57:290:57:32

Cow-Man Aaron, I can tell you right now...

0:57:320:57:35

She was fantastic all day, but you were quicker! You are the Total Wipeout champion tonight!

0:57:350:57:40

Yes! Wooooo!

0:57:400:57:44

Oh, well done, Aaron.

0:57:450:57:47

HE WHOOPS

0:57:470:57:50

So, we have a winner - it's Cow-Man Aaron!

0:57:510:57:55

Aaron, Claire and Dan join the ranks of the other Wipeout Zone finalists

0:57:550:57:58

to take part in the champion of champions grand final.

0:57:580:58:02

But before that, join us next week for some brilliant falls, like this...

0:58:020:58:06

..and totally new spills, like this...

0:58:080:58:10

I can't wait. From Amanda and me, goodbye.

0:58:130:58:15

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:58:330:58:37

E-mail [email protected]

0:58:370:58:41

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