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A long time ago, before the dinosaurs and stuff, | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
the Earth was ruled by an even deadlier species. | 0:00:04 | 0:00:07 | |
Today, using science, genetics and Argentinian craftsmanship, | 0:00:08 | 0:00:12 | |
these monsters have been brought back to life. | 0:00:12 | 0:00:17 | |
Welcome to Total Wipeout. | 0:00:17 | 0:00:19 | |
Let's just hope they don't escape and eat the contestants. | 0:00:19 | 0:00:23 | |
Tonight, 20 Brits, including a postman, a maths teacher | 0:00:24 | 0:00:29 | |
and an opera singer, | 0:00:29 | 0:00:30 | |
will attempt to tackle these world-renowned plastic predators. | 0:00:30 | 0:00:35 | |
Let the games begin! | 0:00:35 | 0:00:37 | |
Hello and welcome to Total Wipeout, | 0:00:38 | 0:00:40 | |
which tonight is filmed in front of a live studio audience. | 0:00:40 | 0:00:43 | |
CHEERING | 0:00:43 | 0:00:46 | |
All the usual thrills and spills... | 0:00:46 | 0:00:48 | |
AUDIENCE: Oooh! | 0:00:48 | 0:00:49 | |
..but this time it's all in front of a live studio audience! | 0:00:49 | 0:00:52 | |
-CHEERING -Oh, this is great! | 0:00:52 | 0:00:55 | |
Hey, what do you call a coach horse that can play bass guitar? | 0:00:55 | 0:00:59 | |
Pull-My-Cart-Ney! | 0:00:59 | 0:01:02 | |
TOTAL SILENCE | 0:01:02 | 0:01:04 | |
OK, let's see what the competitors are up against today. | 0:01:06 | 0:01:10 | |
The Qualifier - Tough, with a capital T. | 0:01:10 | 0:01:14 | |
Double Cross - Tough, with a capital T underlined. | 0:01:14 | 0:01:17 | |
Terror-Go-Round - Tough, with a capital T underlined and in bold. | 0:01:17 | 0:01:22 | |
And the Wipeout Zone - Tough, all in capitals, double underlined, | 0:01:22 | 0:01:26 | |
in bold, and with a few exclamation marks at the end. | 0:01:26 | 0:01:30 | |
Tonight's show promises to be a real rollercoaster. | 0:01:31 | 0:01:35 | |
-CHEERING -Not yet. | 0:01:35 | 0:01:39 | |
-Tonight's show... -CHEERING | 0:01:39 | 0:01:41 | |
Right, forget it, we're not doing the whole audience thing now. | 0:01:41 | 0:01:45 | |
AUDIENCE: Awwww! | 0:01:45 | 0:01:47 | |
STAMPEDING FEET | 0:01:47 | 0:01:49 | |
-DOOR SLAMS -Let's join Amanda at the top of the course | 0:01:52 | 0:01:56 | |
with today's first contestant. | 0:01:56 | 0:01:58 | |
Pull-My-Cart-Ney. It's genius. | 0:01:58 | 0:02:00 | |
Special delivery for the Qualifier. | 0:02:05 | 0:02:08 | |
I'm joined now by my next contestant. | 0:02:08 | 0:02:10 | |
This is Michael from St Helens and he's a postman. | 0:02:10 | 0:02:13 | |
Michael, how are you doing? | 0:02:13 | 0:02:14 | |
I am aiming to become a legend on the mail-delivering circuit of St Helens. | 0:02:14 | 0:02:19 | |
And I'm not just talking St Helens, Amanda. | 0:02:19 | 0:02:22 | |
This could propel me to the big-time. | 0:02:22 | 0:02:24 | |
I'm talking the outskirts, as well. | 0:02:24 | 0:02:26 | |
I'm talking Haydock, Billinge, Rainford... Thatto Heath. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:31 | |
So, 40-year-old, slightly terrifying postie Michael | 0:02:33 | 0:02:37 | |
is the first to tackle today's Qualifier. | 0:02:37 | 0:02:39 | |
He talks the talk, but will he deliver on the course? | 0:02:39 | 0:02:43 | |
Well, he's quickly across the pontoons, | 0:02:43 | 0:02:45 | |
which means he's about to come to the first stop on his route. | 0:02:45 | 0:02:48 | |
A brand new addition to the Total Wipeout course, | 0:02:48 | 0:02:52 | |
the Wall Street Smash | 0:02:52 | 0:02:53 | |
It's three obstacles in one. | 0:02:53 | 0:02:55 | |
Contestants must keep one eye on the sweeping arm, | 0:02:55 | 0:02:58 | |
the other eye on keeping their balance. | 0:02:58 | 0:03:00 | |
And then the other eye on the giant pieces of wall that swing out | 0:03:00 | 0:03:04 | |
and smash you in the face. | 0:03:04 | 0:03:07 | |
Here we go. | 0:03:07 | 0:03:09 | |
Oh! Special delivery! | 0:03:09 | 0:03:11 | |
Oh, watch your head, Michael! | 0:03:11 | 0:03:13 | |
That Wall Street Smash doesn't like unexpected mail, | 0:03:15 | 0:03:18 | |
so unexpected MALE - spelt differently, Michael, | 0:03:18 | 0:03:21 | |
is stamped and sent straight to his destination - muddy water. | 0:03:21 | 0:03:25 | |
A painful lesson to learn. He won't be doing that again in a hurry. | 0:03:25 | 0:03:28 | |
Here he goes. Watch out for the... Oh, be careful of the... And the... | 0:03:28 | 0:03:32 | |
And then there's the... | 0:03:32 | 0:03:33 | |
Oh, no, he's in. | 0:03:33 | 0:03:34 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:03:34 | 0:03:36 | |
This is tricky, isn't it? | 0:03:36 | 0:03:37 | |
Next, it punches, it punches, it squirts paint | 0:03:37 | 0:03:41 | |
and it punches some more. | 0:03:41 | 0:03:42 | |
Here we go. | 0:03:45 | 0:03:46 | |
Well, he's ducked the paint, but not the fists. | 0:03:47 | 0:03:51 | |
Avoided damaging his package, but it's not really an express delivery so far. | 0:03:51 | 0:03:56 | |
Now for the part of his route that he's dreading. | 0:03:56 | 0:03:59 | |
Four big red spheres that do not know the meaning of the words | 0:04:00 | 0:04:04 | |
"Do not bend", the Big Red Balls. | 0:04:04 | 0:04:07 | |
Oh, er, yeah, that works. | 0:04:08 | 0:04:10 | |
Ball one... | 0:04:12 | 0:04:14 | |
-and he's in. Second-class fall. -That was rubbish! | 0:04:14 | 0:04:19 | |
Maybe he'll have a bit more. luck on the final obstacle - | 0:04:19 | 0:04:23 | |
it's the Shapeshifter. | 0:04:23 | 0:04:25 | |
Up the ladder... | 0:04:26 | 0:04:27 | |
..down the slide. And which window shall we go through today? | 0:04:29 | 0:04:33 | |
The square window? | 0:04:33 | 0:04:35 | |
The triangle window? | 0:04:36 | 0:04:39 | |
Or the round window? | 0:04:40 | 0:04:42 | |
Yeah, that's right, probably none of them. | 0:04:43 | 0:04:47 | |
So the postman has nearly reached his final destination. | 0:04:47 | 0:04:49 | |
All he has to do now is post himself through one of the holes. | 0:04:49 | 0:04:52 | |
Should be easy for Michael. | 0:04:52 | 0:04:54 | |
Here we go. Oh, no. No. | 0:04:54 | 0:04:57 | |
A postman missing the hole. | 0:04:57 | 0:04:59 | |
I'm wondering if anyone in St Helens has ever received any post at all! | 0:04:59 | 0:05:04 | |
Second-class Michael posted a time of 2:36. | 0:05:06 | 0:05:09 | |
Will that send him into the next round? | 0:05:09 | 0:05:11 | |
I wouldn't go as far as to say it was a special delivery. | 0:05:13 | 0:05:16 | |
Certainly first class, possibly going on for second class. | 0:05:16 | 0:05:20 | |
Next to take on the Qualifier is 22-year-old Amita, | 0:05:20 | 0:05:23 | |
who describes herself simply as "awesome". | 0:05:23 | 0:05:26 | |
What kind of things do you do in your life to make you feel | 0:05:29 | 0:05:32 | |
you're awesome? | 0:05:32 | 0:05:33 | |
Multiple black belt in karate, | 0:05:33 | 0:05:35 | |
mango-juggling, professional air-guitar... | 0:05:35 | 0:05:38 | |
I can do the waltz, I think. Yes, I can do the waltz. | 0:05:38 | 0:05:41 | |
I can... | 0:05:41 | 0:05:43 | |
shoot a bow and arrow, I can ride a motorbike, | 0:05:43 | 0:05:46 | |
I can rally-drive a car, I can play snap. | 0:05:46 | 0:05:49 | |
I'm pretty good at snap, I've got a good long-jump, | 0:05:49 | 0:05:54 | |
I can play Scrabble... | 0:05:54 | 0:05:56 | |
-HE SNORES GENTLY -..I can play football, | 0:05:56 | 0:05:59 | |
I can ski, balance on a ball quite well, | 0:05:59 | 0:06:01 | |
I can scuba-dive, I can snowboard, I can skydive... | 0:06:01 | 0:06:05 | |
-Amita, are you telling porky pies? -No. I forgot to say pole-dance. | 0:06:05 | 0:06:09 | |
OK, that's enough of that. | 0:06:09 | 0:06:11 | |
Let's see how useful her long and honest list of genuine skills | 0:06:11 | 0:06:15 | |
will be on the Qualifier. | 0:06:15 | 0:06:16 | |
Oh! Is that on purpose? | 0:06:18 | 0:06:20 | |
SHE LAUGHS | 0:06:20 | 0:06:22 | |
The Wall Street Smash, a true test of Amita's awesomeness. | 0:06:22 | 0:06:26 | |
So here she goes. She's on, this is it. | 0:06:26 | 0:06:29 | |
-Oh, ow! -SHE SCREAMS | 0:06:29 | 0:06:32 | |
Yeah, wall smash to the head, sweeper hit to the body. | 0:06:32 | 0:06:36 | |
It's kind of more average than awesome. That's just what happens. | 0:06:36 | 0:06:40 | |
Awesome. Yeah. | 0:06:43 | 0:06:45 | |
Double awesome. But Amita is still standing strong, give her that. | 0:06:45 | 0:06:50 | |
Oooh! | 0:06:50 | 0:06:52 | |
The Sucker Punch must be losing its touch. | 0:06:52 | 0:06:55 | |
Oh, now there it is, there's the touch. | 0:06:55 | 0:06:57 | |
Not really awesome. Adequate. | 0:06:57 | 0:06:59 | |
Yes, adequate. | 0:06:59 | 0:07:02 | |
Amita is currently unemployed, but with all the awesome skills | 0:07:03 | 0:07:06 | |
she's learned today I'm sure a new career is just around the corner. | 0:07:06 | 0:07:10 | |
As a crash-test dummy maybe. | 0:07:10 | 0:07:12 | |
But awesome Amita finishes the Qualifier in 3:23 | 0:07:14 | 0:07:18 | |
and can now add mechanical rubber assault courses | 0:07:18 | 0:07:22 | |
to her long list of made-up skills. | 0:07:22 | 0:07:24 | |
Meet happily-married Philip and Eve. Awww, that's sweet. | 0:07:25 | 0:07:29 | |
Oh. | 0:07:29 | 0:07:30 | |
Philip, you may be my husband and an engineer, | 0:07:32 | 0:07:36 | |
but this one's going to suffer this course | 0:07:36 | 0:07:39 | |
and punish you for drinking all that beer! | 0:07:39 | 0:07:41 | |
Oh-ho-ho! | 0:07:41 | 0:07:43 | |
I didn't understand most of that, but it sounded so cross. | 0:07:43 | 0:07:46 | |
So it's 30-year-old Eve that kicks off this matrimonial face-off. | 0:07:46 | 0:07:50 | |
A lot at stake here. | 0:07:50 | 0:07:52 | |
Oh, an early slip. She's gone. | 0:07:52 | 0:07:53 | |
She's back. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:55 | |
Now, Eve's small stature is an advantage here, | 0:07:55 | 0:07:57 | |
easily ducking under those smash doors. | 0:07:57 | 0:08:00 | |
Yes! Oh, no. You can't duck the sweeper, Eve. | 0:08:00 | 0:08:04 | |
Oh, hang on. Oh, and that's a big hit to the little Brazilian. | 0:08:04 | 0:08:08 | |
I bet she can hear wedding bells right now. | 0:08:08 | 0:08:10 | |
SHE LAUGHS | 0:08:10 | 0:08:12 | |
Eve, you may be my wife, but I'm gonna rip you to shreds. | 0:08:12 | 0:08:15 | |
Aw, and they say romance is dead. | 0:08:15 | 0:08:18 | |
Philip on the Suckerpunch. | 0:08:20 | 0:08:22 | |
Not only representing England, he's representing husbands | 0:08:22 | 0:08:24 | |
and headband wearers everywhere. | 0:08:24 | 0:08:26 | |
Oh! Right in the nuptials! | 0:08:27 | 0:08:30 | |
Oh, Philip! | 0:08:30 | 0:08:31 | |
Big Red Balls for Eve. Good chance to show hubby how it's done. | 0:08:31 | 0:08:35 | |
There's the Demotivator. | 0:08:37 | 0:08:38 | |
And she's in. It worked. | 0:08:38 | 0:08:42 | |
Will Philip make the same mistake? | 0:08:42 | 0:08:44 | |
No, he charges! One, two, three... | 0:08:45 | 0:08:50 | |
No, not this time. | 0:08:50 | 0:08:51 | |
What was that hop, skip and a jump-a-loony? | 0:08:53 | 0:08:55 | |
Their times are very close, | 0:09:03 | 0:09:05 | |
so the war of the wedded will be settled on the Shapeshifter. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:08 | |
Bragging rights and a year of washing up at stake here. | 0:09:08 | 0:09:12 | |
Eve goes for it. She's in. She's out. | 0:09:12 | 0:09:15 | |
Which means it's all down to this one last slide. | 0:09:17 | 0:09:19 | |
Never has so much rested on what can only be described as, well... | 0:09:19 | 0:09:22 | |
playground equipment. | 0:09:22 | 0:09:25 | |
Philip's lost his headband, but will he keep his pride? | 0:09:25 | 0:09:27 | |
Nope, there it goes. Into the water. | 0:09:30 | 0:09:32 | |
And this was virtually identical to Eve's effort. | 0:09:33 | 0:09:36 | |
It's like they were meant to be together. It's beautiful, that. | 0:09:36 | 0:09:39 | |
Yeah, spiritually linked. | 0:09:39 | 0:09:41 | |
Mrs Eve finishes in 2:36, but it's Mr Philip who wears the trousers | 0:09:45 | 0:09:50 | |
and the smug grin, finishing in just under two minutes. | 0:09:50 | 0:09:53 | |
Whooo! | 0:09:54 | 0:09:57 | |
# D-I-V-O-R-C-E... # | 0:09:57 | 0:10:01 | |
-FLAMENCO MUSIC -This is air traffic controller, Zoe Spain. | 0:10:04 | 0:10:09 | |
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's Zoe Spain. | 0:10:09 | 0:10:14 | |
She's not from Spain, she's from Egham. | 0:10:14 | 0:10:17 | |
What a cool, big, important job you have | 0:10:17 | 0:10:20 | |
to clear the skies of danger and to guide jumbo jets in to land. | 0:10:20 | 0:10:24 | |
Actually, it's quite a small little airport in Surrey | 0:10:24 | 0:10:28 | |
called Fairoaks. It's not that big. | 0:10:28 | 0:10:31 | |
Zoe Spain, who's not from Spain, takes off down the runway and... | 0:10:33 | 0:10:37 | |
Oh, eject! Eject! Too late. | 0:10:37 | 0:10:39 | |
Bit of a crash landing. | 0:10:39 | 0:10:40 | |
She's up against two giant propellers. | 0:10:41 | 0:10:43 | |
Her aviation skills might just come in handy here. Good start. | 0:10:43 | 0:10:48 | |
Oh, dear, no. She's in. | 0:10:48 | 0:10:50 | |
In case of an emergency, Zoe is pointing out the nearest exit, | 0:10:50 | 0:10:53 | |
to your right, down the steps and into the muddy water. | 0:10:53 | 0:10:57 | |
Now it's the Suckerpunch. Will it put the pain into Zoe's Spain? | 0:10:57 | 0:11:02 | |
Oh, well, so far so good. | 0:11:02 | 0:11:05 | |
Zoe taking every punch firmly on the chin. | 0:11:05 | 0:11:08 | |
-Good girl! -Very brave. Or very stupid. | 0:11:08 | 0:11:11 | |
-It's brave, cos she's made it! -BELL DINGS | 0:11:13 | 0:11:15 | |
Zoe's face must be black and blue. | 0:11:15 | 0:11:19 | |
And yellow and a bit orange, is that, by the looks of it? Yeah. | 0:11:19 | 0:11:23 | |
Not sure she can take much more of this punishment. | 0:11:23 | 0:11:25 | |
So she's at the top of the slide. | 0:11:25 | 0:11:28 | |
She slides down. Oh! | 0:11:28 | 0:11:29 | |
Ohh! | 0:11:30 | 0:11:32 | |
This is... | 0:11:32 | 0:11:33 | |
No. And now she's... Oh, no. | 0:11:33 | 0:11:36 | |
-Oh, dear. -Hold on! Hang tight! | 0:11:36 | 0:11:38 | |
# I'm leavin' on a jet plane... # | 0:11:43 | 0:11:46 | |
Yeah, but no pain, no gain. | 0:11:46 | 0:11:48 | |
And with all that pain Zoe has gained a good time. | 0:11:48 | 0:11:50 | |
And now needs to gain some medical attention. | 0:11:50 | 0:11:53 | |
Next it's 25-year-old petrol-head from Kent. | 0:11:55 | 0:11:57 | |
TYRES SCREECH | 0:11:57 | 0:12:01 | |
So, Nathan, you clearly feel the need for speed, | 0:12:01 | 0:12:04 | |
but how speedy are you going to be on those Big Red Balls? | 0:12:04 | 0:12:08 | |
SHE MIMICS SPEEDING CAR Faster than that. | 0:12:08 | 0:12:10 | |
HE MIMICS EVEN FASTER CAR As fast as that. | 0:12:10 | 0:12:12 | |
Everyone's heard of Total Wipeout, | 0:12:12 | 0:12:14 | |
but this is going to be a total whitewash. | 0:12:14 | 0:12:17 | |
Um... That's a bad thing, isn't it? | 0:12:17 | 0:12:19 | |
OK. Right, softly, softly. | 0:12:19 | 0:12:23 | |
Catchy.... Oh. Well, nothing. | 0:12:23 | 0:12:26 | |
But he's up quickly and puts his foot on the pedal. Accelerating... | 0:12:28 | 0:12:31 | |
Thankfully there's no speed cameras here. Good manoeuvres from Nathan. | 0:12:31 | 0:12:35 | |
Oh, he's cleared... No. One slip and he was in. | 0:12:35 | 0:12:38 | |
It looked like he'd regained control, | 0:12:41 | 0:12:43 | |
but he swerves into the hard shoulder. | 0:12:43 | 0:12:45 | |
Now he's got a wet shoulder, as well. On to the Sucker Punch. | 0:12:45 | 0:12:48 | |
Oh, yeah. That was harsh. | 0:12:52 | 0:12:54 | |
Oh, that was a proper whack, forcing Nathan into a quick, muddy pit stop. | 0:12:54 | 0:13:00 | |
I say quick... | 0:13:02 | 0:13:04 | |
Right, he's got the green light for the Big Red Balls. | 0:13:06 | 0:13:09 | |
Go, go, go. | 0:13:09 | 0:13:11 | |
Yes. No. Yes? | 0:13:11 | 0:13:13 | |
No. False start. | 0:13:13 | 0:13:15 | |
Not so Formula One now. | 0:13:15 | 0:13:17 | |
But Nitro Nathan lives up to his speedy boast, | 0:13:17 | 0:13:20 | |
finishing in 2 minutes 16. Not bad. | 0:13:20 | 0:13:23 | |
So six runners in and it's Mr Philip that's taken the early lead | 0:13:24 | 0:13:29 | |
with Nitro Nathan hot on his heels. | 0:13:29 | 0:13:30 | |
Second-class Michael shares third with Mrs Eve | 0:13:30 | 0:13:33 | |
and Zoe Not From Spain is in fifth. | 0:13:33 | 0:13:35 | |
Awesome Amita is not living up to her name sat in sixth. | 0:13:35 | 0:13:39 | |
For years I've been pitching Total Wipeout: The Movie, | 0:13:41 | 0:13:44 | |
but due to lack of funding, lack of interest, | 0:13:44 | 0:13:47 | |
me not having got around to writing the script, | 0:13:47 | 0:13:50 | |
Angelina Jolie not returning any of my calls | 0:13:50 | 0:13:52 | |
and the whole restraining order thing, | 0:13:52 | 0:13:54 | |
it's remained a mere pipe dream. | 0:13:54 | 0:13:56 | |
Until today, for now I have the budget - | 0:13:56 | 0:14:01 | |
well, ish - and a leading actor, 28-year-old Jonathan from Cumbria. | 0:14:01 | 0:14:06 | |
So here goes. I've always wanted to do this. | 0:14:06 | 0:14:09 | |
Action! | 0:14:15 | 0:14:17 | |
Oh, it doesn't work. | 0:14:17 | 0:14:19 | |
Action! | 0:14:19 | 0:14:21 | |
-No, really. It's just not working... -LOUDHAILER SCREECHES | 0:14:21 | 0:14:23 | |
Argh! | 0:14:23 | 0:14:25 | |
That stings. It's broken. | 0:14:25 | 0:14:28 | |
DRAMATIC VOICE: He was an actor from Cumbria... | 0:14:47 | 0:14:49 | |
Feel the river, feel the ride! | 0:14:49 | 0:14:52 | |
Get on up, it Total Wipeout time! | 0:14:52 | 0:14:55 | |
..she was a TV presenter who was watching his every move. | 0:14:56 | 0:15:01 | |
And laughing. | 0:15:01 | 0:15:03 | |
One man must face his fears, defy all the odds, | 0:15:03 | 0:15:07 | |
achieve the impossible and other really dramatic things. | 0:15:07 | 0:15:12 | |
That was useless. | 0:15:14 | 0:15:17 | |
One dream, one chance, one... | 0:15:17 | 0:15:20 | |
NORMAL VOICE: ..embarrassing slip on the slide. | 0:15:20 | 0:15:23 | |
DRAMATIC VOICE: If you only see one | 0:15:27 | 0:15:29 | |
Argentinian obstacle course-based movie this year, | 0:15:29 | 0:15:33 | |
make sure it's this one. | 0:15:33 | 0:15:35 | |
At a supermarket near you. | 0:15:35 | 0:15:37 | |
Because it wasn't good enough to get on the big screen. | 0:15:37 | 0:15:41 | |
Well, it needs a bit of work, but Lights, Camera, Jonathan | 0:15:41 | 0:15:45 | |
finishes in just under three minutes. | 0:15:45 | 0:15:47 | |
Next to run, and hoping for the luck of the Irish - | 0:15:47 | 0:15:51 | |
because he's Irish - is 26-year-old Kevin who lives in London. | 0:15:51 | 0:15:54 | |
Now, listen - are you a fighting fit Irishman, Kevin? | 0:15:57 | 0:16:00 | |
-Is that what you are? Have you got the Celtic spirit in you? -Er... | 0:16:00 | 0:16:03 | |
..not really. I'm trying to do a little bit of preparation for this. | 0:16:06 | 0:16:09 | |
Didn't go all that well. | 0:16:12 | 0:16:14 | |
I went for a jog about three weeks ago and did a few push-ups | 0:16:14 | 0:16:17 | |
and nearly passed out after it, | 0:16:17 | 0:16:19 | |
so other than that, there hasn't been a lot of preparation. | 0:16:19 | 0:16:22 | |
Kevin to the Wall Street Smash. Here we go. | 0:16:26 | 0:16:29 | |
Oh, ducks and, again, the Smash Doors don't scare Kevin. | 0:16:30 | 0:16:35 | |
Whoo! | 0:16:35 | 0:16:36 | |
It's a lot harder to duck 22 mechanical fists, though, | 0:16:36 | 0:16:39 | |
and that's what he faces next. | 0:16:39 | 0:16:42 | |
See? Didn't duck. But he's still on. | 0:16:43 | 0:16:46 | |
He's nearly across the Sucker Punch, as well. This is amazing. | 0:16:47 | 0:16:51 | |
Oh! | 0:16:51 | 0:16:52 | |
-Look at those feet of flames. Whoo! -This is an impressive run. | 0:16:52 | 0:16:57 | |
He's actually good at this stuff. Here we go... | 0:16:57 | 0:17:00 | |
Oh, until that happened. | 0:17:00 | 0:17:02 | |
The luck of the Irish run out on the second ball, exactly then. | 0:17:02 | 0:17:06 | |
It's all gone. Used up. | 0:17:06 | 0:17:08 | |
Finished. But he still manages to check his way into the top spot. | 0:17:08 | 0:17:12 | |
Quite good, Kev - I'll call him Quite Good Kev, in fact. | 0:17:12 | 0:17:16 | |
That's the most fun I've had with me clothes on in ages. | 0:17:17 | 0:17:22 | |
This is 38-year-old Masters student Georgia. She has a problem. | 0:17:24 | 0:17:28 | |
With cats. | 0:17:28 | 0:17:30 | |
You've been getting some unwanted attention, Georgia, | 0:17:30 | 0:17:33 | |
from some cats at home. What's that all about? | 0:17:33 | 0:17:36 | |
Oh, my God. I have loads of cats. | 0:17:36 | 0:17:38 | |
They just come, perch on the back of my fence and look in at me. | 0:17:38 | 0:17:42 | |
There's one that wears a denim jacket. Can you imagine? | 0:17:42 | 0:17:46 | |
-A black cat in a denim jacket. -Are you serious? -I'm dead serious. | 0:17:46 | 0:17:51 | |
OK. Right, well, can't afford to pussyfoot around | 0:17:53 | 0:17:56 | |
on the Wall Street Smash. | 0:17:56 | 0:17:57 | |
No, you see? Because that's what happens when you do. | 0:17:59 | 0:18:03 | |
-Ooh, I wonder how she's "feline" now? -He-hey! She beat me to that. | 0:18:03 | 0:18:07 | |
-I had that... -PAPER SCRUNCHES | 0:18:07 | 0:18:08 | |
Forget it. | 0:18:08 | 0:18:09 | |
Well, there's no time to "paws" for thought | 0:18:09 | 0:18:12 | |
as Georgia approaches the Big Red Balls. | 0:18:12 | 0:18:14 | |
It's mine! Yeah, over you go. Oh, that was going to shock her. | 0:18:14 | 0:18:18 | |
Oh, dear. | 0:18:18 | 0:18:19 | |
Yep, I think she's used up another one of them nine lives. | 0:18:19 | 0:18:22 | |
Stop it! Georgia finishes the course in five minutes and 40, | 0:18:22 | 0:18:26 | |
and that puts her in a less than purr-fect last place. | 0:18:26 | 0:18:30 | |
Mine. Time now for the Total Wipeout lonely hearts segment. | 0:18:30 | 0:18:34 | |
You know, like I do every week. About this time. | 0:18:34 | 0:18:38 | |
Today's letter comes from a Mr WS Smash from Buenos Aires | 0:18:38 | 0:18:43 | |
and it reads, "Dear Richard. I am unlucky in love. | 0:18:43 | 0:18:47 | |
"When anyone gets close to me I end up pushing them away | 0:18:47 | 0:18:51 | |
"or hurting them. I like to surprise people, | 0:18:51 | 0:18:53 | |
"sweep them off their feet, | 0:18:53 | 0:18:56 | |
"but when I open up, all they want to do is run away. | 0:18:56 | 0:18:59 | |
"Yours lonely-ly, the Wall Street Smash." | 0:18:59 | 0:19:03 | |
Well, you're in luck. | 0:19:03 | 0:19:06 | |
It's Total Wipeout Dating, but which lucky girl is going to win | 0:19:08 | 0:19:11 | |
a date with our mechanical macho-man tonight? | 0:19:11 | 0:19:15 | |
Will it be contestant number one? | 0:19:15 | 0:19:17 | |
She's a five-foot tall student who likes shopping and extreme sports, | 0:19:17 | 0:19:21 | |
but is terrified of pigeons. Meet fun-size Tash from Swindon. | 0:19:21 | 0:19:25 | |
Will she fall in love? | 0:19:27 | 0:19:29 | |
No. No, just in the water. You saw that coming. | 0:19:31 | 0:19:34 | |
I know. So did I. Wall Street smash has given her the brush off - ha-ha! | 0:19:34 | 0:19:38 | |
That's not a great first impression. | 0:19:38 | 0:19:41 | |
Contestant number two is a head chef and cage fighter, obviously, | 0:19:43 | 0:19:46 | |
which makes her one tough cookie. | 0:19:46 | 0:19:48 | |
Meet Kim from Liverpool. | 0:19:48 | 0:19:51 | |
So, will the cage-fighting chef hit it off with the Wall Street Smash? | 0:19:51 | 0:19:57 | |
No. No, it was just Kim that was hit off. | 0:19:57 | 0:19:59 | |
Yeah, well - they say love hurts. And that did. | 0:20:04 | 0:20:09 | |
Can the last contestant win the heart of the ten-foot foam bachelor? | 0:20:09 | 0:20:14 | |
She's a dental practice manager that says she's mad as a box of frogs. | 0:20:14 | 0:20:19 | |
Number three's always the wacky one. Meet Debbie from Newport. | 0:20:19 | 0:20:23 | |
Will she fall head over heels? Well, I'd say... Yeah. | 0:20:23 | 0:20:28 | |
Pretty obviously, yeah. The wall's being all bashful. | 0:20:28 | 0:20:31 | |
I think true love has been found. Debbie is dizzy in love. | 0:20:32 | 0:20:36 | |
Maybe somebody should check that's not concussion. | 0:20:36 | 0:20:39 | |
Could this be a love that lasts forever? | 0:20:39 | 0:20:41 | |
Oh, no - she's up and doing a runner. | 0:20:43 | 0:20:44 | |
Looks like the Wall Street Smash is going home alone tonight. | 0:20:44 | 0:20:48 | |
So let's see how their efforts have affected the current leaderboard. | 0:20:54 | 0:20:58 | |
Quite Good Kev has now jigged into the top spot, | 0:20:58 | 0:21:00 | |
Fun-size Tash jumps into sixth | 0:21:00 | 0:21:02 | |
and Tough Cookie Kim is only seconds behind in seventh. | 0:21:02 | 0:21:05 | |
In ninth, it's Lights, Camera, Jonathan, | 0:21:05 | 0:21:07 | |
whilst at the foot of the table is Box-Of-Frogs Debbie | 0:21:07 | 0:21:10 | |
and Cats Love Georgia in 11th and 12th. | 0:21:10 | 0:21:12 | |
Time for a clash of culture. | 0:21:12 | 0:21:16 | |
Now, I'm a big fan of rock music like Foo Fighters, Led Zep, AC/DC, | 0:21:16 | 0:21:21 | |
but I'm also a big fan of opera music. | 0:21:21 | 0:21:24 | |
Like... | 0:21:24 | 0:21:26 | |
that World Cup one that Pavarotti did. Just One Cornetto. | 0:21:26 | 0:21:30 | |
Well, next it's a rocker versus an opera-ra-rist. | 0:21:30 | 0:21:34 | |
I'm going to really enjoy this. | 0:21:34 | 0:21:35 | |
In fact, I'm going to put my glasses on to enjoy it | 0:21:35 | 0:21:38 | |
and then pour myself a crystal glass of vintage champagne. | 0:21:38 | 0:21:41 | |
Doing it for the opera people, it's 40-year-old Jason. | 0:21:45 | 0:21:48 | |
# Truly, no other they can compare. # | 0:21:48 | 0:21:52 | |
And in the rock corner its 53-year-old Jean. | 0:21:52 | 0:21:55 | |
Rock-and-roll, baby, yeah! | 0:21:55 | 0:21:57 | |
# I shall win... # | 0:21:57 | 0:21:59 | |
Rock-and-roll, baby, yeah! | 0:21:59 | 0:22:01 | |
# Of that, have no doubt. # | 0:22:01 | 0:22:05 | |
Rock-and-roll, baby, yeah! | 0:22:07 | 0:22:09 | |
Yeah, rock on! | 0:22:12 | 0:22:13 | |
Oh, dear. No, she's been rocked off. | 0:22:13 | 0:22:16 | |
Classic operatic warm-up for Jason. | 0:22:19 | 0:22:22 | |
-HE BREAKS WIND -Oops. | 0:22:22 | 0:22:23 | |
And he's off! | 0:22:26 | 0:22:28 | |
Oh, dear. Right in the solar plexus. | 0:22:28 | 0:22:31 | |
Jean on the Sucker Punch. Let's see how tough this rocker really is. | 0:22:34 | 0:22:37 | |
That's it, Jean. | 0:22:40 | 0:22:41 | |
Yeah. Oh. Ooh. | 0:22:41 | 0:22:43 | |
Wow, the sucker punch actually seemed to help her out, there. | 0:22:43 | 0:22:46 | |
# You've got a friend... # | 0:22:46 | 0:22:50 | |
A helping hand. Must be a fellow rocker. | 0:22:50 | 0:22:53 | |
-Or not. -Almost! | 0:22:53 | 0:22:55 | |
Now, One-Tenor Jason taking on the four balls. Oh. | 0:23:01 | 0:23:05 | |
That's kind of an up-and-overture. | 0:23:07 | 0:23:10 | |
Hope he didn't hurt his "leg or toe". | 0:23:10 | 0:23:12 | |
Get it? Legato? It's an opera joke. Never mind. | 0:23:12 | 0:23:15 | |
So Jean's time not looking too rock-and-roll at the moment. | 0:23:19 | 0:23:22 | |
Can't afford to hang around. Here we go. | 0:23:22 | 0:23:25 | |
Oh, goodness! | 0:23:25 | 0:23:28 | |
Didn't even touch the sides. Look at that! | 0:23:28 | 0:23:31 | |
If that was the aim, she'd have won. It wasn't. | 0:23:31 | 0:23:34 | |
And now Jason, on to the Shape Shifter. | 0:23:34 | 0:23:37 | |
-HE GRUNTS LOUDLY -This isn't very operatic to me. | 0:23:37 | 0:23:39 | |
SHE SINGS OPERATICALLY | 0:23:40 | 0:23:44 | |
Down he goes... | 0:23:46 | 0:23:48 | |
Oh, Jason. Rubbish. | 0:23:48 | 0:23:52 | |
Yeah. Rock chick Jean completes the course in just under five minutes. | 0:23:52 | 0:23:56 | |
-Rock 'n' roll, baby! -Well, not really, no. | 0:23:56 | 0:24:00 | |
But it's One-Tenor Jason, that has something to sing about | 0:24:01 | 0:24:04 | |
finishing in 2 minutes 30. | 0:24:04 | 0:24:06 | |
The fat lady has sung. It's over. | 0:24:09 | 0:24:11 | |
DISTORTED GUITAR | 0:24:11 | 0:24:13 | |
UKULELE STRUMS | 0:24:13 | 0:24:15 | |
# Goodbye. # | 0:24:15 | 0:24:17 | |
EARTH RUMBLES | 0:24:17 | 0:24:19 | |
CAR ALARMS WAIL | 0:24:20 | 0:24:22 | |
GLASS SHATTERS | 0:24:22 | 0:24:24 | |
Next it's mum of two, Kate from Wetherby. | 0:24:27 | 0:24:29 | |
Her three and six-year-old sons, Stanley and Max, | 0:24:29 | 0:24:32 | |
made her apply for the show. | 0:24:32 | 0:24:34 | |
I'm sure she'll do them proud. OK, that's not a good start. | 0:24:34 | 0:24:37 | |
Don't underestimate this Yorkshire pudding! | 0:24:37 | 0:24:41 | |
Mm, my favourite type of pudding. Yorkshire. OK. | 0:24:41 | 0:24:45 | |
Oh, a very elegant walk down the ramp. | 0:24:45 | 0:24:48 | |
Oh, well, that got her to the bottom quicker, I suppose. | 0:24:48 | 0:24:51 | |
OK, she's up. | 0:24:51 | 0:24:53 | |
Oh, she's lost a shoe, but the rest of her is still intact. So far. | 0:24:53 | 0:24:58 | |
Here we go. Oh, head smash! | 0:24:58 | 0:25:01 | |
-Watch your head! -Too late. | 0:25:01 | 0:25:03 | |
Say that before it happens, not after. | 0:25:03 | 0:25:06 | |
OK, on to the Sucker Punch now. | 0:25:09 | 0:25:12 | |
Or not on to the Sucker Punch. | 0:25:12 | 0:25:14 | |
Hey, you haven't started yet! | 0:25:14 | 0:25:16 | |
That's what we call a welcome punch. Hi! | 0:25:16 | 0:25:20 | |
That's what we call just not very good. | 0:25:20 | 0:25:22 | |
Right, Silly Mummy Kate finishes in just 2 minutes 23 | 0:25:24 | 0:25:27 | |
and is the quickest lady so far. | 0:25:27 | 0:25:29 | |
Your boys can officially be proud. | 0:25:29 | 0:25:31 | |
Stanley, I've done it for you. Whoo! | 0:25:31 | 0:25:36 | |
Now doing it for the dads is 39-year-old Tony, | 0:25:36 | 0:25:39 | |
who has eight children. | 0:25:39 | 0:25:40 | |
# I'm the king of eight and I'm here to state | 0:25:40 | 0:25:43 | |
# That everything here has to total 8. # | 0:25:43 | 0:25:45 | |
You've got eight children? | 0:25:46 | 0:25:48 | |
Eight children from 13 down to 10 days. | 0:25:48 | 0:25:51 | |
-Can you name them for me? -I can. | 0:25:51 | 0:25:54 | |
Aisha Amira, Adnan, Adil, Aman, Amir, Aliya, Aleena. | 0:25:54 | 0:26:00 | |
He's not in my good books, you know. | 0:26:00 | 0:26:02 | |
Eight children all beginning with the letter A | 0:26:02 | 0:26:05 | |
and not one of them called Amanda. | 0:26:05 | 0:26:07 | |
Well, the Octo-poppa is off, | 0:26:07 | 0:26:10 | |
Tony hoping to prove that dad has still got it. | 0:26:10 | 0:26:13 | |
And he gets it all right - right in the face. | 0:26:13 | 0:26:16 | |
Now he's on to the sweeper and now he's in. | 0:26:16 | 0:26:19 | |
That was falling with style. | 0:26:19 | 0:26:21 | |
Talking of style, check out those amazing dad shorts. | 0:26:23 | 0:26:27 | |
Oh, straight into the mud - so are his shorts. | 0:26:29 | 0:26:33 | |
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. | 0:26:33 | 0:26:36 | |
If he can handle eight children, | 0:26:36 | 0:26:39 | |
I'm guessing four balls shouldn't be too hard. | 0:26:39 | 0:26:42 | |
# Everything here has to total eight. # | 0:26:42 | 0:26:43 | |
Here we go. | 0:26:43 | 0:26:46 | |
Oh, no. | 0:26:46 | 0:26:49 | |
Well, Octo-poppa Tony finishes in 3 minutes 16. | 0:26:49 | 0:26:52 | |
Daddy Cool, but daddy not quick. | 0:26:52 | 0:26:55 | |
# Everything here has to total eight. # | 0:26:55 | 0:26:57 | |
The next two competitors are desperate to lift | 0:26:59 | 0:27:01 | |
the Total Wipeout trophy, | 0:27:01 | 0:27:03 | |
but even more desperate to keep their hair dry. | 0:27:03 | 0:27:05 | |
18-year-old Ron is a lifeguard who can do one-armed press-ups. | 0:27:06 | 0:27:10 | |
He has big hair. | 0:27:10 | 0:27:11 | |
Just how fit are you, Ron? | 0:27:13 | 0:27:16 | |
Um, well, do you want to see? | 0:27:16 | 0:27:18 | |
Uh...OK. | 0:27:19 | 0:27:22 | |
Urgh! His stomach's all weird and lumpy! | 0:27:24 | 0:27:27 | |
A-doo Ron, Ron, Ron, ya do Ron, Ron! Whoa-ho-ho! | 0:27:27 | 0:27:32 | |
He's up against 26-year-old Tomasz | 0:27:32 | 0:27:35 | |
who's a casino croupier from Poland via Nottingham. | 0:27:35 | 0:27:39 | |
He has spiky hair. | 0:27:39 | 0:27:41 | |
Now, what kind of thing have you been doing in preparation for that? | 0:27:41 | 0:27:45 | |
I just tried to... | 0:27:45 | 0:27:47 | |
I was trying to look good and as long as I look good | 0:27:47 | 0:27:49 | |
and I'm comfortable with what I'm wearing | 0:27:49 | 0:27:51 | |
then it should be OK, I think. | 0:27:51 | 0:27:53 | |
Ron's first to go. The question is how long will that hair stay dry? | 0:27:56 | 0:27:59 | |
Oh. Hoo-hoo! | 0:27:59 | 0:28:02 | |
His hair is safe. It's dry so far. | 0:28:02 | 0:28:03 | |
Yeah, this is quick and dry. | 0:28:03 | 0:28:06 | |
He jumps, ducks and - oh, look at that! | 0:28:06 | 0:28:09 | |
That's how it's done. | 0:28:09 | 0:28:11 | |
Now, Tomasz. Will it be hair today, gone tomorrow? | 0:28:11 | 0:28:14 | |
Well, he ducks the first and, again, he's across with hair intact, too. | 0:28:14 | 0:28:20 | |
Maybe this is the answer. Ron's still dry, | 0:28:20 | 0:28:23 | |
but judging by today's Big Ball standards, | 0:28:23 | 0:28:25 | |
his big hair could be in big trouble here. | 0:28:25 | 0:28:27 | |
Oh. Oh. Oh! | 0:28:27 | 0:28:29 | |
He's on to the fourth ball! You're joking. | 0:28:29 | 0:28:32 | |
No, he's made it! Wow! | 0:28:32 | 0:28:34 | |
A superb crossing from Ron. | 0:28:34 | 0:28:38 | |
Maybe this is the answer - | 0:28:38 | 0:28:39 | |
desperation to keep your hair dry and, well, he does. | 0:28:39 | 0:28:42 | |
Can Tomasz get across without a hair wash, too? | 0:28:43 | 0:28:47 | |
Here we go. | 0:28:47 | 0:28:49 | |
Oh, no. No. The hair has taken a beating. Oh, he looks normal. | 0:28:49 | 0:28:52 | |
His hair's been all flattened, but his time is still looking good. | 0:28:56 | 0:29:00 | |
Can he make it across the Shape Shifter? | 0:29:00 | 0:29:02 | |
He's going for the Triangle... | 0:29:02 | 0:29:04 | |
In and out. | 0:29:04 | 0:29:06 | |
Get that man some straighteners. | 0:29:06 | 0:29:09 | |
His spirits are up. | 0:29:09 | 0:29:11 | |
Unfortunately, his hair obviously isn't. | 0:29:11 | 0:29:13 | |
But Tomasz The Tank Top is the quickest qualifier so far. | 0:29:13 | 0:29:16 | |
-I done it! -One minute 40. | 0:29:16 | 0:29:18 | |
Will Ron's hair fit through the Shape Shifter? | 0:29:19 | 0:29:22 | |
It's through...and he's holding on. | 0:29:22 | 0:29:25 | |
Is he going to make it all the way around? | 0:29:26 | 0:29:29 | |
I am genuinely amazed. | 0:29:29 | 0:29:30 | |
He has. | 0:29:33 | 0:29:34 | |
-Here's his chance... -AMANDA SQUEALS | 0:29:34 | 0:29:37 | |
He's done it! Across the balls. | 0:29:37 | 0:29:40 | |
First to beat the Shape Shifter | 0:29:40 | 0:29:42 | |
and with a time of only one minute 13 seconds, he's beaten Tomasz | 0:29:42 | 0:29:45 | |
and he's now top of the leaderboard, too. | 0:29:45 | 0:29:48 | |
All that and a completely dry hairdo. | 0:29:48 | 0:29:51 | |
I'm genuinely staggered. | 0:29:51 | 0:29:53 | |
Six-pack, plus an athlete, equals success in Total Wipeout. | 0:29:53 | 0:29:59 | |
Never mind, Tomasz. | 0:29:59 | 0:30:01 | |
18 contestants down, two still to go, and this is Emma, | 0:30:19 | 0:30:22 | |
a 26-year-old forensic psychologist who has a score to settle. | 0:30:22 | 0:30:26 | |
Rarrgh! | 0:30:26 | 0:30:28 | |
Now, is there anything you can draw on from the world | 0:30:28 | 0:30:31 | |
of forensic psychology that you can use to your advantage today? | 0:30:31 | 0:30:36 | |
My thesis is actually on revenge, so those Big Red Balls | 0:30:36 | 0:30:39 | |
better watch out cos I won't get mad, I'll just get even. | 0:30:39 | 0:30:43 | |
I've no idea why Emma wants revenge. | 0:30:43 | 0:30:45 | |
The qualifier hasn't done anything wrong, has it? | 0:30:45 | 0:30:48 | |
OK, it has now. | 0:30:49 | 0:30:51 | |
Right in the face. | 0:30:51 | 0:30:52 | |
So will Emma get even on the big red balls? | 0:30:52 | 0:30:56 | |
One, two, wet. | 0:30:56 | 0:30:59 | |
Nothing forensic about that. | 0:31:00 | 0:31:02 | |
She's got even... more wet than before. | 0:31:07 | 0:31:11 | |
I think the Qualifier may have won this one, Emma. | 0:31:12 | 0:31:15 | |
Emma completes the course in just over two minutes. | 0:31:15 | 0:31:19 | |
From one PhD student to... um...Alex. | 0:31:21 | 0:31:25 | |
Yeah! | 0:31:25 | 0:31:27 | |
I'm joined now at the top of the course by a very excitable | 0:31:27 | 0:31:30 | |
young man who is determined to put his village on the map. | 0:31:30 | 0:31:34 | |
This is Alex and he's a trainee maths teacher, I think. | 0:31:34 | 0:31:37 | |
-How are you doing? -Hello. I'm very excited. | 0:31:37 | 0:31:40 | |
I'm going to win this course for my village. Farrington Gurney. | 0:31:40 | 0:31:45 | |
Will this be the most dramatic thing Farrington Gurney has ever seen? | 0:31:45 | 0:31:48 | |
Definitely top ten. | 0:31:48 | 0:31:50 | |
But we had village pantomime a few weekends ago and I was in it as well. | 0:31:50 | 0:31:55 | |
-Who did you play? -I played the village idiot. | 0:31:55 | 0:31:58 | |
Yeah, I think is village should be on the map and it's not | 0:31:58 | 0:32:02 | |
because I want to go there. | 0:32:02 | 0:32:04 | |
But Alex is ploughing on after that slip and oh, no, he's down again. | 0:32:04 | 0:32:07 | |
But he's still going. Avoiding the Sweeper Arm. | 0:32:07 | 0:32:11 | |
And avoiding the Smash Door. | 0:32:11 | 0:32:13 | |
Alex got straight out of bed and came in his pyjamas this morning. | 0:32:13 | 0:32:16 | |
Alex approaching the balls. | 0:32:16 | 0:32:18 | |
Those mud-drenched pyjamas could be weighing him down. | 0:32:18 | 0:32:22 | |
That was amazing. He flew across those balls. He's still on. | 0:32:22 | 0:32:27 | |
Just one more jump. He's done it! | 0:32:27 | 0:32:29 | |
He's certainly put his village on the map now | 0:32:29 | 0:32:32 | |
and for all the very best of reasons. | 0:32:32 | 0:32:35 | |
With that amazing ball crossing, | 0:32:35 | 0:32:37 | |
Alex finishes in a very impressive 1 minute 41. | 0:32:37 | 0:32:41 | |
What a talented idiot! | 0:32:41 | 0:32:43 | |
And look how well you did. | 0:32:43 | 0:32:46 | |
-I did the Big Red Balls! -Yeah, you did. -First ever Big Red Ball person. | 0:32:46 | 0:32:51 | |
-Farrington Gurney, you should be proud. -Thank you! Yes! | 0:32:51 | 0:32:56 | |
Right, let's have a look at the final leaderboard. | 0:32:58 | 0:33:00 | |
Hairdo Ron Ron his head, shoulders and hairdo above the rest. | 0:33:00 | 0:33:04 | |
Tomasz the Tank Top is second and Alex the Village Idiot is in third. | 0:33:04 | 0:33:08 | |
Don't Get Mad Get Emma is the best performing lady in sixth. | 0:33:08 | 0:33:12 | |
Silly Mummy Kate is eighth. One Tenor Jason sings his way to ninth. | 0:33:12 | 0:33:16 | |
Second Class Michael, Mrs Eve and Fun Size Tash | 0:33:16 | 0:33:18 | |
are in 10th, 11th and 12. | 0:33:18 | 0:33:21 | |
Unfortunately, the fat lady has sung for One Tenor Jason. | 0:33:21 | 0:33:26 | |
He picked up an injury on the Qualifier and has withdrawn from the competition. | 0:33:26 | 0:33:30 | |
That means Tough Cookie Kim | 0:33:30 | 0:33:32 | |
pops up from 13th to take his place in Double Cross. | 0:33:32 | 0:33:35 | |
So the qualifying qualifiers have qualified, which earns them the title of Qualifiers. | 0:33:35 | 0:33:40 | |
This means we say goodbye to the non-qualifying qualifiers who didn't qualify, | 0:33:40 | 0:33:44 | |
earning them the title of Losers. | 0:33:44 | 0:33:47 | |
# There are places I'll remember | 0:33:47 | 0:33:51 | |
# All my life, though some have changed | 0:33:52 | 0:33:57 | |
# Some for ever, not for better | 0:33:57 | 0:34:02 | |
# Some have gone and some remain. # | 0:34:03 | 0:34:08 | |
Double Cross works like this. | 0:34:22 | 0:34:26 | |
The 12 competitors line-up over there before making a run for it along any one | 0:34:26 | 0:34:29 | |
of the green gangways into the middle. Once in the centre, | 0:34:29 | 0:34:33 | |
they can only use the single red gangway to reach the finish. | 0:34:33 | 0:34:36 | |
The fact that the gangway's rotating one direction whilst | 0:34:36 | 0:34:40 | |
the big red cross rotates in the other, means this obstacle is categorised as really tricky. | 0:34:40 | 0:34:46 | |
First six across qualify for the next round. | 0:34:46 | 0:34:48 | |
So let's meet today's Double Crossers. | 0:34:48 | 0:34:52 | |
Fastest in the qualifier and biggest in the hair, it's Hairdo Ron Ron. | 0:34:52 | 0:34:56 | |
Alex, you've got your pyjamas on. You should have stayed in bed, man. | 0:34:56 | 0:35:00 | |
OK. It's pole-vault time for Tomasz the Tank Top. | 0:35:00 | 0:35:04 | |
This is P-P-P-Polish fire! | 0:35:04 | 0:35:06 | |
Third fastest in the qualifier, it's Alex the Village Idiot. | 0:35:06 | 0:35:10 | |
I may be wearing girls' pyjamas, | 0:35:10 | 0:35:12 | |
but I'm still the most macho man here. Rarrgh! | 0:35:12 | 0:35:15 | |
I think Alex is great. I like him. | 0:35:15 | 0:35:18 | |
Then there's Quite Good Kev and Mr Philip. | 0:35:18 | 0:35:22 | |
Eve, I beat you in the first round. | 0:35:22 | 0:35:23 | |
Now I'm going to seek beat you in the second round. | 0:35:23 | 0:35:26 | |
Don't Get Mad Get Emma is next. | 0:35:26 | 0:35:28 | |
And hold onto your hats, it's Nitro Nathan. | 0:35:28 | 0:35:32 | |
Then there's Silly Mummy Kate. | 0:35:32 | 0:35:34 | |
Don't double crosses this Yorkshire pudding. | 0:35:34 | 0:35:37 | |
I'd never double cross a Yorkshire pudding. And that's Mrs Eve. | 0:35:37 | 0:35:40 | |
Philip, I'm going to beat you on this one. | 0:35:40 | 0:35:43 | |
If not, I'm going to beat you when I get home. | 0:35:43 | 0:35:47 | |
Then it's Second-Class Michael, Fun Size Tash | 0:35:47 | 0:35:50 | |
and finally, Jason's replacement, Tough Cookie Kim. | 0:35:50 | 0:35:54 | |
I can't shout. | 0:35:54 | 0:35:55 | |
One motto in life is keep calm and life carry on. | 0:35:57 | 0:36:01 | |
That's so not going to work here, | 0:36:01 | 0:36:04 | |
so I suggest keep calm, carry on and run like crazy! | 0:36:04 | 0:36:08 | |
-It's Double Cross. Are you already? -ALL: Yes. | 0:36:08 | 0:36:12 | |
Three, two, one. | 0:36:12 | 0:36:14 | |
KLAXON | 0:36:14 | 0:36:16 | |
The game is afoot. But nobody is moving their feet. | 0:36:17 | 0:36:21 | |
Tash gives it a go. Oh, just a test run, maybe. Emma. | 0:36:21 | 0:36:27 | |
Oh, I think that was Kate. This thing is brutal. | 0:36:27 | 0:36:33 | |
Hairdo Ron Ron, lasted as long as his nickname. | 0:36:33 | 0:36:36 | |
Remember, they can only use the green gangways | 0:36:36 | 0:36:39 | |
to get into the middle. Second-class Michael now and...Oh! | 0:36:39 | 0:36:43 | |
Collecting the post right in the ankle. | 0:36:43 | 0:36:47 | |
Right, it's Ron again. Oh! | 0:36:51 | 0:36:54 | |
Yeah. Fastest qualifier having no luck so far. | 0:36:55 | 0:37:00 | |
This is Mr Philip. Getting closer. | 0:37:03 | 0:37:05 | |
Michael now...is into the centre. | 0:37:05 | 0:37:09 | |
Finally. | 0:37:09 | 0:37:11 | |
What's this? Tomasz the Tank Top has joined Michael in the middle. | 0:37:11 | 0:37:14 | |
Nitro Nathan now. | 0:37:14 | 0:37:17 | |
Oh! Very close. | 0:37:17 | 0:37:20 | |
Quite Good Kev bolts for it. He's there as well. | 0:37:20 | 0:37:22 | |
Things are getting overcrowded in the centre now. | 0:37:22 | 0:37:26 | |
Remember they're all just waiting for that red gangway to come round. | 0:37:26 | 0:37:29 | |
It's the only way off. Michael's got one foot on the red gangway, | 0:37:29 | 0:37:32 | |
but then just sort of fell off. | 0:37:32 | 0:37:35 | |
Kevin attempts the exit. | 0:37:35 | 0:37:38 | |
Oh! That was close. Kevin almost made it across. | 0:37:39 | 0:37:43 | |
But then there was a pirouette somersault flip and a fall. | 0:37:43 | 0:37:48 | |
-I can't do it! -Yes, you can. There's no such thing as can't. -Possibly. | 0:37:48 | 0:37:54 | |
Tomasz alone in the middle. Come on, people. Nathan heard me. | 0:37:54 | 0:37:59 | |
Yes! He's on. | 0:37:59 | 0:38:01 | |
He's off. He's on. He's still on. | 0:38:01 | 0:38:04 | |
Mr Philip is back for more. The limbo. Oh! | 0:38:04 | 0:38:08 | |
Mr Philip is trying everything, but where's Mrs Eve? | 0:38:08 | 0:38:12 | |
Finally, Tomasz heads for the... water. | 0:38:15 | 0:38:19 | |
Getting off Double Cross is definitely difficult. | 0:38:19 | 0:38:23 | |
Michael now, third time lucky. Hurdles across. | 0:38:23 | 0:38:27 | |
And misses the middle completely. And in goes Nathan. | 0:38:27 | 0:38:30 | |
Into the middle. Surely he'll be able to do this. | 0:38:32 | 0:38:36 | |
Don't Get Mad Get Emma wants to join in and she's there. Just. | 0:38:37 | 0:38:43 | |
Kevin again now. And he's there. Michael too. | 0:38:44 | 0:38:48 | |
This is good middle management or something. | 0:38:48 | 0:38:51 | |
It's a Wipeout pile-up. | 0:38:51 | 0:38:53 | |
Oh, yeah, they're all there waiting for the optimum gap | 0:38:53 | 0:38:56 | |
betwixt red gangway and red cross. | 0:38:56 | 0:38:59 | |
That's the time to run to the finish. Kim piles on too. | 0:38:59 | 0:39:02 | |
Kevin sees his chance. Looking good. | 0:39:02 | 0:39:04 | |
Quite Good Kev is the first to qualify for the next round. | 0:39:04 | 0:39:07 | |
Oh, out of nowhere, Nathan speeds across to the finish line too. | 0:39:15 | 0:39:19 | |
-And we have Nathan. -Nitro Nathan is through. | 0:39:19 | 0:39:22 | |
Meanwhile, Tomasz has reached the centre | 0:39:22 | 0:39:25 | |
and now Eve's chasing her husband. | 0:39:25 | 0:39:27 | |
She's got the Sweeper Arm. But oh, no. She's hanging on. | 0:39:27 | 0:39:31 | |
Eve's rapidly becoming untenable. And she's been dropped. | 0:39:31 | 0:39:36 | |
But her husband is still up. Still in the middle. | 0:39:36 | 0:39:39 | |
Tense now. Michael, second assault on the exit beam. | 0:39:41 | 0:39:46 | |
Jumps and...not enough. | 0:39:46 | 0:39:48 | |
Four places in the next round are still up for grabs. | 0:39:48 | 0:39:51 | |
Who's got the legs to do it. Tomasz is making his move. Superb. | 0:39:51 | 0:39:56 | |
What a finish. Three down, three to go. | 0:39:56 | 0:39:58 | |
Usually it's around here that it all gets very fast and frantic. | 0:40:02 | 0:40:06 | |
Tash into the middle. Hairdo Ron Ron... Can he make it? | 0:40:06 | 0:40:11 | |
Yes! No! | 0:40:11 | 0:40:13 | |
I feel for Ron, I really do. That was close. Oh! | 0:40:13 | 0:40:17 | |
Kim sets off from the starting podium. | 0:40:20 | 0:40:22 | |
Lovely skip and into the middle. | 0:40:22 | 0:40:26 | |
But it's too crowded for Emma. | 0:40:26 | 0:40:28 | |
She's off and leaps across the finish line. | 0:40:28 | 0:40:31 | |
Actually, the next bit's the finish line, there. | 0:40:31 | 0:40:34 | |
Emma is through to the next round. So two places remain. | 0:40:34 | 0:40:38 | |
Will they go to Mike, Kim, Philip, Eve, Ron, Tash, Alex or Kate? | 0:40:38 | 0:40:43 | |
Here comes Michael. Into the middle again. | 0:40:45 | 0:40:48 | |
And...that's Mr Philip. | 0:40:50 | 0:40:53 | |
Takes one to the legs but soldiers on to the middle, | 0:40:54 | 0:40:57 | |
leaving his wife behind. | 0:40:57 | 0:40:59 | |
Michael's got his eyes on the prize and just makes that jump. | 0:40:59 | 0:41:04 | |
But Philip's on hot on his heels and like that, it's all over. | 0:41:04 | 0:41:07 | |
Philip and Michael are through to the next round, | 0:41:07 | 0:41:10 | |
joining Kevin, Emma, Tomasz, and Nathan, but not Philip's wife, Eve. | 0:41:10 | 0:41:14 | |
And a huge upset for Ron, the fastest in the Qualifier, he's out. | 0:41:14 | 0:41:18 | |
And his hair is wet. Oh. | 0:41:18 | 0:41:20 | |
In years to come, that edition of Double Cross | 0:41:20 | 0:41:23 | |
will claim its rightful place among the epic tales of yore, | 0:41:23 | 0:41:26 | |
the Odyssey, Beowulf and my shaggy dog story about the ticket inspector | 0:41:26 | 0:41:30 | |
who keeps throwing passengers through the train window. | 0:41:30 | 0:41:34 | |
It's a belter. | 0:41:34 | 0:41:36 | |
But for now, it's time to wave a solemn goodbye to the six | 0:41:36 | 0:41:39 | |
unlucky souls who fell on the long march to victory. | 0:41:39 | 0:41:43 | |
OK, so there's this ticket inspector, right. | 0:41:44 | 0:41:47 | |
-He's walking along the train. -Comes to the first passenger... | 0:41:47 | 0:41:50 | |
Double Cross is madness. I couldn't jump the Sweeper if I tried. | 0:41:52 | 0:41:58 | |
So I literally had to be Flash Tash or no Tash. | 0:41:58 | 0:42:02 | |
Nearly made it once, but yeah. That's the way the cookie crumbles. | 0:42:02 | 0:42:06 | |
Pretty gutted. | 0:42:06 | 0:42:08 | |
I was trying my hardest and I was just diving and going for it. | 0:42:09 | 0:42:12 | |
It's the best I could do. | 0:42:12 | 0:42:15 | |
It was a total disaster, wasn't it? | 0:42:15 | 0:42:17 | |
I really, really wanted to beat the Philip because he always claims | 0:42:17 | 0:42:23 | |
he's better than me, but I guess maybe it's true. | 0:42:23 | 0:42:26 | |
Aye, aye, aye. It hurt. | 0:42:26 | 0:42:30 | |
I wanted to get through. | 0:42:30 | 0:42:32 | |
I wanted to do the next round, but these things happen. | 0:42:32 | 0:42:35 | |
I can't do anything about it. | 0:42:35 | 0:42:37 | |
What you see here is a broken man. | 0:42:38 | 0:42:41 | |
I hope I haven't let down my village, my mum. | 0:42:41 | 0:42:43 | |
But it was not a good idea wearing pyjamas on the Total Wipeout course. | 0:42:43 | 0:42:48 | |
Today's Terror Go Round is brought to you by the good people | 0:42:58 | 0:43:01 | |
at Total Wipeout Airways. We hope you've enjoyed your flight. | 0:43:01 | 0:43:05 | |
Contestants must jog on the revolving turntable, | 0:43:05 | 0:43:09 | |
avoiding the spinning fickle fingers of fate, | 0:43:09 | 0:43:11 | |
as well as all the lost luggage items thrown by the Terror Twins. | 0:43:11 | 0:43:15 | |
There are three heats and each time, | 0:43:15 | 0:43:17 | |
the last person standing goes through to the Wipeout Zone. | 0:43:17 | 0:43:21 | |
Do you know what I've just spotted? Yep, that's right. | 0:43:21 | 0:43:24 | |
Too many contestants left in Total Wipeout. | 0:43:24 | 0:43:27 | |
Just going to have to get rid of half of them. | 0:43:27 | 0:43:30 | |
Terror Go Round should do it. | 0:43:30 | 0:43:32 | |
-Are you all ready? -ALL: Yes. -They think. | 0:43:32 | 0:43:35 | |
-Three, two, one. -Let's meet the Terrified Go Rounders. | 0:43:35 | 0:43:41 | |
Can the postie with the mostie send himself through to the final? | 0:43:41 | 0:43:46 | |
It's Second-Class Michael. | 0:43:46 | 0:43:47 | |
With express delivery! | 0:43:47 | 0:43:49 | |
Behind every great man, there's a great woman. | 0:43:51 | 0:43:55 | |
Although, in this man's case, she is way behind on the losers' bench. It's Mr Philip. | 0:43:55 | 0:44:01 | |
I'm going to rip you to shreds. | 0:44:01 | 0:44:02 | |
He was first to jig over the Double Cross, | 0:44:02 | 0:44:06 | |
but will the luck of the Irish carry him all the way to the final? It's Quite Good Kev. | 0:44:06 | 0:44:11 | |
That's the most fun I've had with my clothes on in ages. | 0:44:11 | 0:44:15 | |
She's given the guys a run for their money and hoping to take | 0:44:15 | 0:44:19 | |
sweet revenge on the Terror Go Round, it's Don't Get Mad Get Emma. | 0:44:19 | 0:44:22 | |
It's time for revenge. | 0:44:22 | 0:44:24 | |
He's the fastest qualifier left and the fastest talker ever. | 0:44:25 | 0:44:30 | |
I absolutely love it... hairstyle like that. | 0:44:30 | 0:44:33 | |
No idea. But will his dreams of ten grand fall flat as his hair? | 0:44:33 | 0:44:36 | |
It's Tomasz the Tank Top. | 0:44:36 | 0:44:38 | |
And finally, he's all revved up for a few laps on the Terror Go Round, | 0:44:38 | 0:44:41 | |
but will he be in pole position for the Wipeout Zone or just exhausted? | 0:44:41 | 0:44:46 | |
It's Nitro Nathan. | 0:44:46 | 0:44:48 | |
This is going to be a total whitewash. | 0:44:48 | 0:44:51 | |
So the frantic fast-paced fun begins. | 0:44:51 | 0:44:54 | |
Admittedly, not that frantic just yet. | 0:44:54 | 0:44:56 | |
But the Terror Twins haven't started lobbing their luggage yet. | 0:44:56 | 0:45:00 | |
Six remaining contestants, only three places in the final. | 0:45:00 | 0:45:04 | |
There they go. Holdall to the head for Tomasz. | 0:45:04 | 0:45:06 | |
That will ruin his hat hair. | 0:45:06 | 0:45:09 | |
There goes the Teddy. My favourite. Ouch. | 0:45:12 | 0:45:15 | |
They seem to be coping well, | 0:45:15 | 0:45:17 | |
but those fingers of fate will soon come into play. | 0:45:17 | 0:45:20 | |
Kevin using his feet to kick the box out of the way. | 0:45:20 | 0:45:23 | |
Oh, and here they come. Oh, good step over. | 0:45:25 | 0:45:30 | |
But Philip's gone in off the front. And there's trouble at the back. | 0:45:30 | 0:45:34 | |
Oh! Tomasz is in. | 0:45:34 | 0:45:37 | |
Lifted high off the turntable and dumped in the pool, | 0:45:37 | 0:45:40 | |
he's out of the game, at least for this heat. | 0:45:40 | 0:45:45 | |
So, four left standing. Here comes the finger. | 0:45:45 | 0:45:48 | |
Emma gets flipped and dunked. Head first. Down to three now. | 0:45:48 | 0:45:52 | |
Preparing to jump. Everyone's down. | 0:45:52 | 0:45:55 | |
They must stay this side of the punchbags. Back on their feet. | 0:45:55 | 0:45:59 | |
Michael's in trouble and Kevin's gone in. | 0:45:59 | 0:46:03 | |
All of that means Nitro Nathan is the last one standing | 0:46:03 | 0:46:07 | |
and the first one through to today's Wipeout Zone. | 0:46:07 | 0:46:11 | |
Second heat, five competitors left and the Terror Twins have got | 0:46:13 | 0:46:18 | |
a new trolley full of luggage. | 0:46:18 | 0:46:19 | |
All locally sourced. About time for those fingers to start. | 0:46:19 | 0:46:23 | |
This could be carnage. | 0:46:23 | 0:46:24 | |
Emma is over, but there's trouble at the back. Philip's first in again. | 0:46:26 | 0:46:30 | |
Synchronised bar work from Philip and Michael, | 0:46:30 | 0:46:32 | |
but Philip just lost his balance. He's out of this heat. | 0:46:32 | 0:46:36 | |
Second finger gets Michael that time. | 0:46:36 | 0:46:39 | |
Just Emma, Kevin and Tomasz left standing. | 0:46:39 | 0:46:43 | |
Oh, stumble from Kevin but he's back to his feet. Great recovery. | 0:46:44 | 0:46:48 | |
Hi jump from Tomasz. This is strong work from everyone. | 0:46:48 | 0:46:52 | |
Oh, Emma is down. Get up, get up. | 0:46:53 | 0:46:57 | |
No, she is under the punchbags and out of this heat. | 0:46:57 | 0:46:59 | |
So, Tomasz and Kevin, who is going through to the Wipeout Zone? | 0:46:59 | 0:47:04 | |
Looks like Kevin is struggling a bit there. There's no let-up in this. | 0:47:04 | 0:47:08 | |
He's down, he's gone. And Tomasz is through. | 0:47:08 | 0:47:11 | |
Tomasz, you're through to the final. Tomasz, you need to get off. | 0:47:14 | 0:47:17 | |
It's finished. You need to... Hello. There you go. | 0:47:17 | 0:47:21 | |
Concentrating a bit too hard maybe. | 0:47:21 | 0:47:23 | |
For Second-Class Michael, Mr Philip, Quite Good Kev, | 0:47:28 | 0:47:30 | |
and Don't Get Mad Get Emma, | 0:47:30 | 0:47:32 | |
this is the last chance to avoid elimination. | 0:47:32 | 0:47:36 | |
Only one can go through to the Wipeout Zone. | 0:47:36 | 0:47:39 | |
And they're off again. Terror Twins going hell for leather. | 0:47:39 | 0:47:41 | |
Throwing all their toys out of the pram. | 0:47:41 | 0:47:43 | |
Thinking about it, I'm not sure this is safe. | 0:47:48 | 0:47:50 | |
Cos those bags are a real trip hazard. | 0:47:50 | 0:47:52 | |
As are the Fingers Of Fate. | 0:47:52 | 0:47:55 | |
Emma's on but she's hanging on in there. Kevin almost gone. | 0:47:55 | 0:47:59 | |
No, he has gone. No, yes, no. No. | 0:47:59 | 0:48:02 | |
Gone. Kevin is out of Total Wipeout. | 0:48:02 | 0:48:05 | |
Emma's on her knees. Can she recover it? | 0:48:05 | 0:48:08 | |
No, she's out of the game, too. | 0:48:08 | 0:48:10 | |
It's now between Philip and Michael | 0:48:10 | 0:48:14 | |
for that last remaining spot in the Wipeout Zone. | 0:48:14 | 0:48:16 | |
That finger is fast. | 0:48:16 | 0:48:19 | |
Philip has fallen and in the blink of an eye it's all over. | 0:48:19 | 0:48:21 | |
Mr Philip is out of Total Wipeout. | 0:48:21 | 0:48:25 | |
But a first-class performance from Second-Class Michael | 0:48:27 | 0:48:30 | |
bags him the third and final spot in today's Wipeout Zone. | 0:48:30 | 0:48:34 | |
Which means it's time to wave goodbye to three brave competitors. | 0:48:36 | 0:48:39 | |
She came here for revenge but the Terror-Go-Round had the last laugh. | 0:48:39 | 0:48:42 | |
Farewell, Don't Get Mad Get Emma. | 0:48:42 | 0:48:45 | |
Quite good wasn't quite good enough for Quite Good Kev. | 0:48:45 | 0:48:50 | |
And although he's leaving us, he can at least be with his wife once more. | 0:48:50 | 0:48:54 | |
Over on the spectators' bench. Farewell, Mr Philip. | 0:48:54 | 0:48:57 | |
So there are only moments to go now | 0:48:59 | 0:49:01 | |
before today's thrilling Wipeout Zone begins. | 0:49:01 | 0:49:05 | |
I'm not entirely sure how long a moment is, | 0:49:05 | 0:49:08 | |
but it just so happens I've bought my Victorian momentometer. | 0:49:08 | 0:49:12 | |
So, three moments... | 0:49:12 | 0:49:15 | |
Two moments... | 0:49:15 | 0:49:17 | |
One moments... | 0:49:17 | 0:49:18 | |
Wipeout Zone! | 0:49:18 | 0:49:20 | |
Oh... | 0:49:20 | 0:49:22 | |
Yeah, momentometer is fast. It'll be coming up any time now, I imagine. | 0:49:23 | 0:49:28 | |
Unless... | 0:49:30 | 0:49:32 | |
I tell you what I'm going to bring to this final - one word. "Bottle." | 0:49:34 | 0:49:37 | |
It's just so hard. Nothing in the world can prepare you for this. | 0:49:37 | 0:49:41 | |
It's an unbelievable experience | 0:49:41 | 0:49:42 | |
and I'm never going to forget it for the rest of my life. | 0:49:42 | 0:49:45 | |
I never would expect I could actually get into the final | 0:49:46 | 0:49:49 | |
and my family is going to be really proud of me, especially my mum. | 0:49:49 | 0:49:53 | |
At the start I didn't really expect much of him | 0:49:53 | 0:49:56 | |
but he done better than I thought. | 0:49:56 | 0:49:57 | |
He's a fit lad but will he bottle it in the final? I think he will. | 0:49:57 | 0:50:02 | |
People have thought I'm going to be rubbish because of what I was wearing | 0:50:02 | 0:50:05 | |
and actually I'm here, it's just amazing. | 0:50:05 | 0:50:08 | |
It nearly all went wrong, but I've found my rhythm | 0:50:09 | 0:50:13 | |
and I knew I'd come good in the end. And it's game on. | 0:50:13 | 0:50:16 | |
I think he's done really good. | 0:50:16 | 0:50:17 | |
He doesn't give up and never stops. | 0:50:17 | 0:50:20 | |
I'm not far off. | 0:50:20 | 0:50:22 | |
I feel I've got the better of him for the next one. | 0:50:22 | 0:50:25 | |
To win here tonight would mean everything to me. | 0:50:25 | 0:50:27 | |
If you get the title of Total Wipeout champion, | 0:50:27 | 0:50:30 | |
no-one's going to take that away. | 0:50:30 | 0:50:31 | |
If I win tonight, I will feel so good about myself. | 0:50:32 | 0:50:36 | |
At the age of 17 I was diagnosed with cancer. | 0:50:39 | 0:50:42 | |
Um, from that experience, going through everything that I had to do, | 0:50:42 | 0:50:46 | |
and then here we are, years later, I'm back, fighting fit. | 0:50:46 | 0:50:51 | |
Now I'm ready to beat this. | 0:50:51 | 0:50:53 | |
This is for all the old boys. Life begins at 40. | 0:50:57 | 0:51:00 | |
This is my time. I am here, ready to win this. | 0:51:00 | 0:51:04 | |
This is the biggest challenge of my life and I feel so excited. | 0:51:04 | 0:51:06 | |
This is going to be fantastic. | 0:51:11 | 0:51:12 | |
Three guys on the road to destiny and there's no speed limit. | 0:51:18 | 0:51:22 | |
Who's in the fast lane | 0:51:22 | 0:51:24 | |
and who's on the hard shoulder waiting for the tow truck? | 0:51:24 | 0:51:28 | |
This is the Wipeout Zone and Michael is the first to brave it. | 0:51:28 | 0:51:31 | |
Can Second-Class Michael deliver yet another first-class performance? | 0:51:33 | 0:51:37 | |
-Cometh the hour, cometh the rasta postman. -Yeah, that old chestnut! | 0:51:38 | 0:51:43 | |
-HOOTER -Right, here he goes. | 0:51:43 | 0:51:45 | |
Special delivery! | 0:51:54 | 0:51:57 | |
So Michael gets today's final started. | 0:51:57 | 0:51:59 | |
He'll be setting the benchmark to beat. | 0:51:59 | 0:52:01 | |
A swim to the Rapid Climb. | 0:52:03 | 0:52:05 | |
And once he sets foot on the Rapid Climb | 0:52:06 | 0:52:08 | |
he's got ten seconds to scale it. | 0:52:08 | 0:52:11 | |
-Else a tidal wave will be released. -That's it. | 0:52:11 | 0:52:14 | |
Over the Garden Gate, Michael. Whoo! | 0:52:14 | 0:52:17 | |
He's up, so the countdown begins. Michael is doing well so far. | 0:52:17 | 0:52:22 | |
Tidal wave defeated. | 0:52:22 | 0:52:23 | |
Now, to the Seesaw of Truth. Michael is charging across it. | 0:52:25 | 0:52:29 | |
Yes, keeps his balance. | 0:52:29 | 0:52:32 | |
Will he be able to weave his way | 0:52:32 | 0:52:34 | |
across the Crazy Sweeper? This claims a lot... | 0:52:34 | 0:52:36 | |
-Oh, no, he's fallen! -Oh! | 0:52:36 | 0:52:38 | |
Michael totally misjudged the Sweeper there, | 0:52:38 | 0:52:41 | |
as so many have done, and he's paid for it. | 0:52:41 | 0:52:43 | |
Vital seconds lost. The final straight now, though. | 0:52:43 | 0:52:47 | |
The Turntables. Safely onto the first. | 0:52:47 | 0:52:49 | |
Now to the Pillars of No Return. | 0:52:49 | 0:52:51 | |
No! Oh... | 0:52:51 | 0:52:53 | |
That leap was way too short. | 0:52:53 | 0:52:56 | |
A second big slip. | 0:52:56 | 0:52:58 | |
Michael now needs to summon a final burst of energy | 0:53:00 | 0:53:02 | |
to make this one last jump. | 0:53:02 | 0:53:04 | |
He's there. 2:41. Not bad. But definitely beatable. | 0:53:07 | 0:53:11 | |
-Come on out, my lovely postman. -Hello there. | 0:53:16 | 0:53:19 | |
How are you feeling after that performance? | 0:53:19 | 0:53:23 | |
Er, I'm feeling 40 years old, actually. | 0:53:23 | 0:53:26 | |
-It was hard work. -Listen, Michael, well done. | 0:53:26 | 0:53:29 | |
You did that in two minutes and 41 seconds, | 0:53:29 | 0:53:32 | |
-which isn't bad for someone who fell off a couple of times. -That's right. | 0:53:32 | 0:53:35 | |
-Tomasz is up next, so let's watch. -OK. | 0:53:35 | 0:53:39 | |
He's got a hedgehog under that helmet. Tomasz. | 0:53:39 | 0:53:42 | |
-Everybody live your dream! Whoo! -I think this is more of a nightmare. | 0:53:43 | 0:53:48 | |
-HOOTER -And here he goes. | 0:53:48 | 0:53:52 | |
He doesn't yet know how Michael got on | 0:53:58 | 0:54:00 | |
so he's going to be concentrating on going as fast as he can. | 0:54:00 | 0:54:03 | |
Come on, Tomasz. | 0:54:03 | 0:54:04 | |
Yeah, wonderful sportsmanship from Michael. Let's see if that lasts. | 0:54:06 | 0:54:11 | |
Tomasz getting a refreshing blast of water in the face, but now he's up. | 0:54:12 | 0:54:16 | |
And the tidal wave countdown has started. | 0:54:16 | 0:54:20 | |
A little slip. | 0:54:20 | 0:54:22 | |
And he's up again, and now bounding up with the aid of the banister. | 0:54:22 | 0:54:26 | |
-Come along, the Pole. -It's more of a beam, actually. | 0:54:28 | 0:54:31 | |
Tomasz taking things very cautiously here. | 0:54:31 | 0:54:33 | |
Up to the balance point. | 0:54:35 | 0:54:37 | |
Tips it slowly. | 0:54:38 | 0:54:40 | |
He's cleared it. Taking no chances. | 0:54:42 | 0:54:45 | |
Right, crunch time. This is where Michael's first slip-up came. | 0:54:45 | 0:54:49 | |
Ducks. | 0:54:49 | 0:54:51 | |
Tomasz looking very comfortable up there. | 0:54:51 | 0:54:54 | |
He's cleared it. Just about. | 0:54:54 | 0:54:57 | |
Yes, very slick. Just the Turntables to go now. | 0:54:57 | 0:55:00 | |
He's onto the first. Lines up his next jump. | 0:55:00 | 0:55:02 | |
-No! -Oh! -Same place as Michael. | 0:55:02 | 0:55:04 | |
Tomasz slams into a Pillar Of No Return | 0:55:05 | 0:55:07 | |
and there is no returning from that. | 0:55:07 | 0:55:10 | |
Oh, wait, seems there is. Tomasz nearly there. | 0:55:10 | 0:55:12 | |
This is quicker than Michael. 1:44. Faster by nearly a minute. | 0:55:12 | 0:55:18 | |
Tomasz, you started out the Qualifier all bunny ears and bow ties, | 0:55:23 | 0:55:27 | |
and now look at you. You're all serious | 0:55:27 | 0:55:30 | |
and that serious performance... | 0:55:30 | 0:55:34 | |
-has just made you beat Michael. Well done! -My God, thank you very much. | 0:55:34 | 0:55:38 | |
Michael, hard luck, my man, go join the others. | 0:55:38 | 0:55:41 | |
What can you do? My 40-year-old legs caught up with me in the end. | 0:55:41 | 0:55:44 | |
See you later, Michael. | 0:55:44 | 0:55:45 | |
Tomasz, Nathan is up next and yours is the time to beat. | 0:55:45 | 0:55:48 | |
-Let's watch. -Can I have a kiss? | 0:55:48 | 0:55:50 | |
Nitro Nathan prepares for his final lap. | 0:55:51 | 0:55:54 | |
-Dig, Max, dig! -I don't know what that means. | 0:55:54 | 0:55:57 | |
-HOOTER -But let's not question him now. He's busy. | 0:55:57 | 0:56:00 | |
Time for the big finale. | 0:56:01 | 0:56:04 | |
So now it's a straight battle between Nathan and Tomasz. | 0:56:06 | 0:56:09 | |
And while Nathan doesn't know it, 1:44 is the time he must beat | 0:56:09 | 0:56:14 | |
if he is to win today's competition. | 0:56:14 | 0:56:16 | |
And the £10,000 prize. | 0:56:16 | 0:56:18 | |
And remember, Tomasz did make one slip, | 0:56:20 | 0:56:22 | |
-so an error-free run from Nathan will probably be enough. -Knees up! | 0:56:22 | 0:56:26 | |
He is, and the clock starts ticking now, | 0:56:28 | 0:56:32 | |
but Nitro Nathan accelerating up the Rapid Climb. | 0:56:32 | 0:56:35 | |
Oh, that's no problem. Right, See-Saw time. | 0:56:36 | 0:56:40 | |
It looks slippy but Nathan is looking well balanced. He's across. | 0:56:44 | 0:56:49 | |
Just. | 0:56:49 | 0:56:50 | |
Now the Crazy Sweeper. Nathan waits for his moment. | 0:56:50 | 0:56:54 | |
Careful, Nathan. | 0:56:54 | 0:56:57 | |
He's dashing. | 0:56:57 | 0:56:59 | |
Ooh, some sensible ducking. But slow to get back up. | 0:57:00 | 0:57:03 | |
-Get down! -Oh. Near miss there. | 0:57:03 | 0:57:07 | |
Up a bit quicker this time, and yes. | 0:57:07 | 0:57:10 | |
Right. Turntables. | 0:57:10 | 0:57:11 | |
Tomasz and Michael both fell here. | 0:57:11 | 0:57:13 | |
So a clean run now and the title is Nathan's. | 0:57:13 | 0:57:16 | |
Yes! No! | 0:57:18 | 0:57:20 | |
No! | 0:57:20 | 0:57:22 | |
Oh, that's the third strike today for the Pillars Of No Return. | 0:57:22 | 0:57:26 | |
Nathan clambers up the ladder, | 0:57:27 | 0:57:29 | |
but he's going to need a miracle now to beat Tomasz's time. | 0:57:29 | 0:57:33 | |
Get up, get up! | 0:57:33 | 0:57:34 | |
Oh, every second! | 0:57:38 | 0:57:40 | |
A great run! But ten seconds too slow today. | 0:57:42 | 0:57:47 | |
Nathan, come on out, my lovely. What a fantastic run from you. | 0:57:48 | 0:57:54 | |
It's so hard. The ladders are so hard. | 0:57:54 | 0:57:59 | |
But I did my best, that's all I can do. | 0:57:59 | 0:58:02 | |
Tomasz, I know this means an awful lot to you, too. | 0:58:02 | 0:58:06 | |
Tomasz, you are the Total Wipeout champion tonight! | 0:58:06 | 0:58:10 | |
Hard luck, Nathan. | 0:58:10 | 0:58:12 | |
HE CHEERS | 0:58:12 | 0:58:14 | |
So today's winner of the Total Wipeout trophy and £10,000 | 0:58:17 | 0:58:20 | |
is Tomasz Wiczneski, a 26-year-old croupier from Nottingham. | 0:58:20 | 0:58:24 | |
And if you've enjoyed Tomasz's performances half as much as me, | 0:58:24 | 0:58:26 | |
you'll want one of these - | 0:58:26 | 0:58:29 | |
a Tomasz-tribute hairpiece, | 0:58:29 | 0:58:30 | |
available nationwide in Hammond's Party Emporium. | 0:58:30 | 0:58:33 | |
That's it from today's show. From Amanda and me, it's goodbye. | 0:58:33 | 0:58:37 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:58:55 | 0:58:57 |