Pennod 3 Bethan Gwanas: Y Menopos a Fi

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-Yes, this is a series

-about the menopause.

-Don't dare switch channels,

-because it affects us all.

-Yes, men too.

-I'm 53.

-I should be prepared.

-But I have no idea what to expect.

-I'm determined to find out more.

-How do women react to it?

-You get used to your body changing.

-What are the available treatments?

-The doctor wasn't much help.

-I felt worse leaving

-than when I went in.

-How do women all

-over the world deal with it?

-Sometimes, I feel

-as if I'm going nuts.

-This thing,

-the change, the menopause.

-Don't put that in!

-Don't put that in!

-

-I can't say.

-Whatever you call it,

-I'm determined to understand it.

-The menopause is the process...

-..when women's periods

-and childbearing years end.

-Women all over the world,

-if they live long enough...

-..go through the menopause

-at some point.

-It's an experience we all have...

-..but is still different

-for every individual.

-Today, I'll try to find out

-where I've reached...

-..and chat about emotions.

-But first, we hear about women's

-experiences all over the world.

-We don't have periods now.

-That's normal!

-We have had our children,

-and they have had theirs.

-We're happy to live without fatigue.

-We can help our family better.

-It happened last year.

-I think I noted the date.

-But it isn't something

-I want to remember.

-I can't even say the word.

-I haven't been well

-since I've had this illness.

-I've had terrible hot flushes.

-So many African women...

-..don't have pains or headache

-after their elder age.

-We know that

-the best years are past.

-Our living standards won't change.

-We're approaching death.

-There are fewer years ahead.

-The years to come will be less...

-..active.

-Some women bleed...

-..when the moon rises on that side.

-Others, when the moon

-moves to that side.

-But that isn't a problem for me now.

-If I had more children,

-they would die.

-I don't bleed any more.

-I don't need to bleed any more.

-The moon had the right

-to take it from me.

-What about our women?

-I wasn't sure if I was

-going through the menopause.

-It went on for a few months.

-But then, a period returned.

-I didn't know if I was on heat,

-in a heatwave or having a hot flush.

-I still have tampons

-at hand, in case.

-I was in my forties.

-It lasted about two years.

-Then I knew for sure that my body

-had changed, I was getting older.

-That was that.

-I didn't see it as a sad time.

-I had two children.

-I enjoyed bringing them up.

-But I felt that time was over.

-I was starting a new phase.

-It's part of life.

-I only wanted a child for five

-minutes, after it was too late.

-But before and after that, no.

-All my life, I had terrible pains...

-..and heavy periods.

-The menopause was fantastic for me.

-It was a relief

-not to have any more pain.

-Although hormonal

-change and periods ending...

-..is similar for almost everyone...

-..the symptoms seem

-to vary from country to country.

-Looking at research...

-..it's interesting to see so

-much difference between cultures.

-In the western world...

-..women describe the time

-just before their periods end...

-..as maybe having heavy periods,

-feeling tired, low and anxious...

-..and feeling extremely hot

-for a short time.

-These are the usual symptoms

-mentioned by women in the west.

-But research in Japan,

-or Greece, for example....

-..shows that these types

-of symptoms aren't mentioned.

-The feeling of being too hot

-isn't all that common.

-In Japan, there is no term

-for hot flushes...

-..which shows they aren't

-part of women's experiences there.

-They're more likely

-to complain of headaches...

-..or having stiff shoulders.

-It makes you think, OK,

-there is a cultural difference.

-But hormonally,

-it's the same condition.

-Some of the biggest differences...

-..are headaches, mentioned

-by women in the Philippines.

-Interesting.

-Very interesting.

-Oh!

-Is it something to do

-with what they eat?

-Maybe that's why they have different

-symptoms, compared to this country.

-In Nigeria,

-joint pain is the main complaint.

-Does it have anything

-to do with the weather?

-That comes with age, anyway.

-You have aches,

-your knee or shoulder goes.

-That's not the menopause,

-it's just ageing.

-As we heard...

-..in Japan they have headaches,

-feel stiff, and slightly cold.

-Oh. Lovely.

-Women are slightly smaller there.

-Maybe they're not as heavy

-as us in this country.

-Does that have an influence?

-It seems that Japanese

-women feel the cold.

-For me, it would be a blessing...

-..to feel the cold once more.

-At least you can wear

-more clothes to get warmer.

-Maybe I'm slightly Japanese.

-I'm like that.

-When I don't have a flush...

-..I'm freezing.

-My joints ache a lot.

-I'd like to find

-a happy medium again.

-Maybe there's a touch of that in me.

-Women are made the same way.

-How can menopausal

-symptoms differ so much?

-Maybe that's not

-what Japanese women have.

-No, I don't mean that.

-You know what I mean.

-I can't get my head round that.

-It is complicated.

-We know that some things

-help women, wherever they live.

-Being physically healthy can help.

-It's interesting to look

-at women's economic status...

-..in different countries

-and its effect on symptoms.

-Women of a higher economic status...

-..have worse symptoms.

-One wouldn't expect that.

-Poorer women who have had

-to work harder physically...

-..have fewer problems.

-The end of periods

-is something to be glad about.

-It's a nicer time of life...

-..when women can feel more

-comfortable in themselves.

-Some women also feel

-more accepted in a community...

-..perhaps particularly

-in Muslim countries...

-..when the time of the period means

-having to withdraw from society.

-Once this time in life is over...

-..women are valued for their wisdom.

-That certainly influences

-their experience of the change.

-In general, there are great

-differences in symptoms.

-Hot flushes and sweating

-are common ones.

-European and North American women

-say this is common and a problem.

-But they're much less

-common in Asia.

-Some psychologists have suggested

-that psychology is a factor.

-Our expectations

-of what is going to happen...

-..can affect what happens to us.

-It's difficult

-for women in the west.

-There is a lot of pressure on us...

-..to look physically healthy,

-attractive and sexy...

-..perhaps until we're

-in our 80s or 90s.

-Our literature and culture...

-..often describe older women

-as witches, or ugly and wrinkled.

-We have two different concepts...

-..of how women

-of a certain age should be.

-There's also a feeling

-that women over 50 disappear.

-We stop existing

-in the way society thinks of us.

-It's interesting...

-..how women incorporate

-these expectations...

-..with their personal experiences.

-Older women have to take in

-society's expectations of them.

-Coping with the menopause

-can be much harder...

-..if society's expectations

-are impossibly high.

-So our perspective

-can shape our experience.

-And our culture

-can change our symptoms.

-Who would have thought?

-Today, the moon shines

-for other women.

-It's not our problem any more.

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-One of the most troublesome

-symptom of the menopause...

-..is erratic emotions that

-are a result of hormonal changes.

-As a Relate Cymru therapist, Gwen

-Ellis deals with emotions every day.

-We had a chat about the menopause.

-The menopause can be used

-as an excuse to hide other issues.

-The partner can say,

-"She's going through the menopause.

-"That's why she's bad-tempered."

-There might be other reasons

-why she's feeling that way.

-In order to help people,

-counsellors have to be unbiased.

-People should be more sensitive...

-..towards menopausal women...

-..when they have hot flushes

-and feel tearful.

-If a woman has a hot flush,

-just open the window!

-We should say, "I'm having

-a hot flush. It's my age. Tough!

-"I'm opening the window."

-We shouldn't feel apologetic.

-Every woman goes through it.

-It's important

-that families and partners...

-..discuss what the menopause is.

-I was supposed to ask the questions.

-But Gwen is a counsellor.

-Have you started the menopause?

-I don't know.

-I haven't had any symptoms.

-My periods stopped a long time.

-I have a contraceptive implant

-that stop periods.

-I'm none the wiser.

-Why do a programme

-about the menopause?

-I knew very little

-about the menopause.

-I'd heard about hot flushes.

-I asked my mother,

-"Have you had the menopause?"

-"Yes," she said.

-Was your mother open about it?

-Was your mother open about it?

-

-I had to ask her.

-Do you like to think

-you're in control?

-Oh, yes.

-One of my pet hates would be

-a surprise party.

-I'm not happy

-unless I know what's going on.

-What is the attitude of your family

-to growing old?

-On the whole, my family

-live to a ripe old age.

-Mam is in her seventies.

-She sailed through the menopause.

-The Hafod Oer side

-of the family is tough.

-Explain to me what you mean

-about being tough.

-Blimey!

-Am I tough?

-Yes, in some ways, I am.

-But I also cry at the drop of a hat.

-Lassie gets me and my sister going.

-I really enjoy

-a tear-jerker film.

-How do you feel

-about the menopause?

-I'm quite happy about it.

-I'm 53.

-I'm getting on.

-I'd like to think I'll live out

-my days like a swan.

-I don't know if I will.

-You can have blood tests

-to find out.

-I'm going to have a blood test.

-Will you still be tough?

-Will you still be tough?

-

-Yes.

-"Self-test for the determination...

-"..of the follicle-stimulating

-hormone FSH in urine."

-It'll tell me if I'm going

-through the menopause.

-Oh, hello!

-I'm supposed to pee over that...

-..and only over that.

-I'll take this with me

-to the toilet.

-You can stay there.

-I hope I can pee now.

-APPLAUSE

-Right. I have to wait ten minutes.

-OK. The ten minutes is up.

-The left side is redder

-than the right.

-That's a positive result.

-"You could be undergoing

-the menopausal process."

-Oh! I wasn't expecting that.

-It says here that it's

-92.8% accurate.

-I don't know how I feel.

-I'm menopausal, according to this.

-Oh, no!

-Why have I said, "Oh, no?"

-It's a good thing.

-It is. Isn't it?

-We'll see.

-I have mixed emotions.

-If you're feeling unsure,

-get together with some old friends.

-I hoped I'd get away with it!

-Why did I think that?!

-It's going to happen.

-Have you discussed

-the menopause with friends?

-Yes, about ten years ago.

-Are you trying to say something?

-It's only recently that my friends

-and I started talking about it.

-We discuss it all the time now.

-Do you discuss it with friends?

-Yes.

-Once it's over,

-you'll never mention it again.

-It didn't bother me.

-It depends

-how many problems you get.

-Did you have any problems?

-None at all.

-The menopause isn't giving you

-too much grief?

-I've been lucky.

-You're looking well.

-You're looking well.

-

-Yes, fantastic. You do, too.

-Thanks. That was an afterthought!

-When I turned 50...

-..it was like a switch went on.

-I had a hot flush. I thought,

-'What the hell was that?!'

-Then I thought,

-'That's what it was!'

-It was just like switching

-something on.

-I was emotional, tearful...

-..and all sorts of things.

-I'm sure I put weight on.

-Where?

-Where?

-

-Everywhere.

-I was a stone heavier...

-..after I went through it.

-I was eating more.

-I was eating more.

-

-That's just it.

-I try to keep fit.

-After it began...

-..for about two years...

-..everything imploded.

-I couldn't understand what happened

-to my legs. They were like jelly.

-I couldn't believe it.

-I was petrified!

-I was horrified

-when I saw my reflection.

-I cried.

-I went to Kettlercise

-and I do a lot of walking.

-What's that, a cup of tea?

-What's that, a cup of tea?

-

-Like that...

-..with two kettles!

-It's said the menopause

-gives us the freedom...

-..to do the things

-we've always wanted to do.

-There's no doubt that

-I've felt a little crazy.

-Have you done anything crazy?

-Have you done anything crazy?

-

-Good grief, yes.

-Did it get worse with age?

-No. Less as I grew older,

-thank goodness.

-I get urges to do bonkers things...

-..like throwing myself

-out of an aeroplane.

-With a parachute, obviously.

-What?!

-I don't like heights.

-And I'd have a nice hunk to help me.

-I'm far more patient.

-I can laugh with more sincerity.

-I'm more in control

-of my own life.

-You mentioned having more patience.

-I went though

-a phase of being impatient.

-I hope I'll come out the other side.

-I'm looking forward to being nicer.

-We'll drink to that.

-With water and tea!

-With water and tea!

-

-To Bethan Gwanas being nicer.

-It's not a time for big knickers,

-pills and cream.

-It's a time to get stronger and

-feel comfortable in your own skin.

-Next time,

-we'll discuss men and sex.

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