Charles and Lauren Don't Tell the Bride

This programme contains some strong language

Five years of Don't Tell The Bride, 48 brave brides,

48 game-on grooms, dozens of dress disasters...

Don't panic.

..and one near-miss.

-Please, just get on the plane.

-I'm not coming, game over.

Now, we're back for a whole new roller coaster ride,

as 12 more blushing brides leave the biggest day of their lives...

Oh, my God.

..in the hands of the men they love.

The grooms get three weeks...

No way!

..and £12,000...

12 Gs, man.

-Are you ready?

-Born ready, mate.

..and the brides get no say in how it's spent.

I just don't want to do this any more.

So saddle up for tears...

He's not going to get the right one.

..tantrums...

Why the hell are we at Thorpe Park on my wedding day?!

..and total meltdown.

I can't even get the wedding for her. I can't do anything.

Tonight, the pressure's on

-for sci-fi nut Charles...

-We're in over our heads here, I think, lads.

..as he tries to impress his classy bride-to-be...

I really don't know how Charles is going to get on. I'm quite picky.

..by organising the biggest day of her life.

Oh, wow!

-She wants a wedding that is mature and sophisticated.

-It's perfect.

But he is on a completely different planet.

We just found our spaceship!

Will he boldly go where no groom has gone before?

-I am quite happy that these are the centrepieces.

-Or will his obsession with sci-fi

take him to the dark side?

-Right, I'm not wearing that!

-Crotch-less.

-No.

I could have completely messed up the whole damn thing.

Can this man...

..give this woman...

I am not wearing it, I'm sorry.

..a wedding that is out of this world?

I wouldn't wish this on anyone really.

ROBOTIC LAUGHTER

This programme contains some strong language.

Today 26-year-old Lauren is moving out.

-Are you going to miss me, babe?

-I'm going to miss you a lot. Yes.

Leaving behind 30-year-old fiance Charles,

who has three weeks to organise their wedding.

Just be sensible, don't get carried away.

Easier said than done, Lauren.

The couple live together with their cat Sarah in Newcastle

and they are madly in love.

Give us a kiss!

One of the things I really love about her is she is just so cute.

She'll wake up and be like, ahh!

It's like, aww, look at her. She's like a little baby bear or something.

Kiss me, Lauren.

I really like his ridiculous sense of humour.

It's the way he thinks he's so comical and amusing...

-What do you mean "thinks"?

-..and really he's just a bit silly.

They were both born in Yorkshire but met five years ago

when they worked behind a bar in Newcastle city centre.

Cheers, my love.

'She was like, "I think you should come round and I'll make a cocktail." '

So we had the cocktail,

and I think both of us just kind of leaned into each other

and had a great big snog and there you go, done.

Deal sealed, basically.

Four years after first puckering up, the couple decided to shack up.

Lauren is an art teacher with very classy tastes.

'I like going to galleries, I like going to the theatre.'

He prefers to have a takeaway, I like to go out for dinner, have a glass of wine and things.

So I think my tastes are a little bit more sophisticated than his.

Maybe a little bit more mature as well.

Because only-child Charles is a little boy who never grew up.

He lives in a parallel universe of science fiction.

He is still quite like a big kid, I mean, he likes his sci-fi, there's action figures all round the house.

Inflatable movie Dalek? Boom!

Charles's favourite film of all time is Star Wars.

And if it involves spaceships, aliens or robots, he's got to have it.

I love sci-fi because as an only child, it blew me away

and as an older child, it still blows me away to this day.

Sometimes I'd like a serious conversation and let's not shoot aliens while I'm doing it

would be nice.

-Charles?

-Yeah.

-What you doing?

-Just shooting aliens, darling.

And for school teacher Lauren, who deals with 120 children every day,

coming home to another big kid makes it hard to leave her job at the door.

I imagine myself in a classroom of one, and she will be like, "Charles, no!"

-Don't say that!

-She rocks out what we call the teacher voice.

It's hard to leave it at work, though, cos sometimes you need the teacher voice to do as you're told!

And being with a bloke who's literally on another planet,

means Lauren has her work cut out.

I literally do everything.

I have no role in any shopping, organisation, bills, anything really.

It is literally me that does absolutely everything.

But Charles will have to organise something -

the biggest day of her life.

And Lauren has a very particular day in mind.

There are things that I would want, like I would want a beautiful dress

and I would want it to be in a beautiful location. Maybe, like, a castle.

But I'd also want somewhere quite private, I would want the right sort of food,

I would want people to be happy, oh God! I would want the right sort of music and things like that.

But for Charles, the right sort of wedding can only mean one thing.

This wedding is all about sci-fi, it's all about aliens.

It's about lasers, it's going to go where no wedding has ever gone before.

Fortunately, he hasn't totally forgotten what the big day's all about.

This process is an opportunity for me to organise the biggest day of our lives.

Pull it off and it's something that will probably blow away Lauren in a positive way.

Charles being the big kid is slightly worrying because a wedding is for the rest of your life.

It's not a joke, it is a big, serious thing.

You know, who goes to a wedding in Newcastle and there's dry ice and aliens hanging from the ceiling

and robots serving drinks? No-one.

Who'd do a silly thing like that(?)

Done.

It's time for the couple to say goodbye.

OK?

-I love you.

-Take care, sweetie.

-See you when we get married!

-Yeah.

Oh, go on, just one more snog, then.

The next time they see each other will be at the altar.

I am feeling quite sad about leaving Charles. I didn't think I would feel so upset.

And that's it, I can't speak to him for three weeks, now. So...

That's it.

Until the wedding, Lauren will be staying in Newcastle with her bridesmaid,

who's currently on holiday.

I'm hoping that Charles isn't at home, with his feet on the table,

playing on the Xbox, cracking open a beer,

because three weeks, for me, is a long time, I think,

but for him, he's got a lot to do so it isn't really that long at all.

But this Jedi is already hard at work,

protecting the Galactic Empire from the forces of evil.

Fortunately he's not alone in his quest.

He has his very own Han Solo for the next three weeks -

old school chum Neil. But Neil's a fashion photographer,

not the pilot of the Millennium Falcon.

-How you doing?

-How you doing, buddy?

-I'm sound, mate, sound. Come on through.

And here's Chewbacca - Luke, a bar manager from Charles's childhood town of Skipton.

-All right, mate?

-How you doing, mate?

-I'm all right, man.

-Long time no see.

Wasting no time, Charles unveils his master plan.

Right lads, this is the concept.

What else, Charlie, what else?

What else could it be?

It's going to be sci-fi, we're going to make it ridiculously spectacular.

We're talking 1970s Lycra, we're talking mother ship has just landed.

It may be funny now, but it's already ringing alarm bells for the best men.

What is Lauren going to think about this? Is she even into sci-fi?

I think she will be bedazzled when she walks into the venue from the ceremony. Boom!

How you're going to make this good enough is going to be the biggest challenge.

Hence why I drafted you in, boys. So I'm not going to get blamed solely when it all goes wrong.

Hopefully she'll like it, she finds him funny, hopefully that'll pull through.

Um, yeah, I dunno.

It will be interesting to see her face, definitely!

While Charles wants to bedazzle his bride with his sci-fi theme,

it's galaxies away from what she wants.

For sophisticated Lauren, the setting of her dream wedding is key.

So she's taking bridesmaid Kate and old college friend Sam to see her perfect wedding venue.

It's the stunning Lindisfarne Castle.

Located on the scenic Northumberland coastline, with over 450 years of history.

Oh, wow! It is beautiful.

I think all the chandeliers and the light and that cosy feeling does make it really romantic, doesn't it?

It is like where a princess would live.

-Do you want to be Maid Marian?!

-Yes!

So Maid Lauren wants a historic, romantic castle in the remote countryside.

Sadly Charles Skywalker doesn't.

The boys have started their venue search slap bang in the centre of Newcastle.

His best men have convinced him to look at a safe option -

The Assembly Rooms, which hosts at least one wedding every week of the year.

-Very...

-Weddingy.

-Yeah, very weddingy.

Well, it is a wedding you're organising, mate.

I quite like this. I mean, this could be done very beautiful and pretty and girly, in a way.

That kind of feminine touch.

Yeah, it wouldn't need much doing to make it girly, would it?

This is what I would describe as a safe option if I didn't want Lauren to stab me!

Surely near the top of any sensible groom's wish list?

-Lauren, it's so lovely.

-It's amazing!

But Maid Lauren's already been swept off her feet by the romance of her castle.

So you'd sweep in through that door looking all gorgeous and walk up, Charles'll be waiting for you.

It's so romantic.

It is, it's really romantic.

Really you as well, with all the different bits and pieces, all kind of lovingly placed.

It looks like a house, even. It looks like you could live here.

I could live here! I definitely could live here. It is, like, my ideal home,

as well as my ideal wedding venue.

It's perfect.

So the bride-to-be just wants somewhere intimate, scenic and steeped in history.

But in Newcastle city centre, Charles is heading confidently back to the future.

What could be more appropriate for his sci-fi theme

than the Discovery Science Museum?

It has around 450,000 visitors a year.

Hello there, I'm Charlie, nice to meet you.

But they have never held a wedding before.

It's a sci-fi, quirky theme that I'm going for. So I need to see what space you've got to work with.

-All right, I'll take you around, show you the museum.

-Let's go, let's do it.

Look at this, guys. Yeah?

First stop, the reception room.

It's a vast hall, not exactly the intimate space Lauren dreams of.

Such a big space, so versatile, you can do absolutely all sorts to it.

What's the capacity for this?

-You can fit 350 people in here.

-Oh, easily enough.

-Easily enough space for his

-90

-guests.

It's got the industrial, buttress kind of look,

that can be described as like the inside hull of a spaceship.

It does have that vibe, you know.

It's got that wow factor when you walk in.

I'm actually quite liking what I'm seeing so far.

If this was going to be the reception hall, that's fine.

But you were going to have a separate bit for your ceremony, and then come in to sci-fi, weren't we?

-Yeah.

-Why don't we look at the science maze for your ceremony?

Let's have a look at that.

Did she say science maze for your ceremony?

Yep, she did.

Welcome to the science maze.

-The science maze is

-very

-popular... with small children.

It features a Sinclair C5, an air hockey table,

and believe it or not, it is licensed for weddings.

This end space here, I would say, would be where you'd have your ceremony.

-Right.

-So, yes, it takes a bit of imagination.

Just a bit!

It's a kids' canteen at the end of a science maze.

We could literally have all your black drapes around the sides here, with all your twinkly lights.

Just making it really romantic for Lauren.

This takes a lot of imagination to see this as a place to get married in, but I think you could do it

if you deck it out in black and all the lights.

If you've got an empty space, you've got somewhere you can get married in, at the end of the day.

Do you think it's grand enough for Lauren? Do you think it'll have that wow factor?

Maybe it's not an ideal dream of a wedding. But hey, you're the groom.

But the wedding is a day, the ceremony is, what, half an hour?

Charlie Skywalker may be feeling the force of the venue,

but Lukebacca and Neil Solo don't seem quite so sure.

You walk into a museum for your wedding, I'm not sure what you think?

That's my thinking, you walk in through a maze to go to your own wedding.

-Very Charlie...

-Very Charlie.

-..but is it very Lauren?

60 miles are all that separate the science maze from the romantic Northumberland coastline.

But it feels like a world away.

-A bit like Lauren's chances of getting the wedding

-she

-wants.

-To be honest, it's pretty much exactly what you want, isn't it?

-It is, yeah. It is, it is perfect.

Can you imagine if you're, like, stuck in the city centre? If you haven't got this drama?

I would be quite disappointed if it wasn't like this.

When you get into the car in the morning, you won't know where you're going.

-I know, it could be Newcastle city centre!

-Jumping in the back of a black cab!

You'll just have to trust him.

Yeah...

-Meanwhile, the most important decision of her life is being made over

-a couple

-of beers.

What set the standard for the day, really, for me, was the Discovery Museum.

The room for the evening was amazing.

Incredible, yeah.

If we can't make that room look spectacular, then who the hell in the world can?

-So this is it?

-That's the decision?

-The decision is Discovery Museum.

-The whole thing?

-Yep.

-I'm with you on that.

-I am confident it will be amazing.

-Let's do it.

If you're confident, Charlie, I'm confident.

That's over £4,500 spent on a science museum.

And with the big day falling on half term,

there's a good chance teacher Lauren will be seeing some of her students.

Bonus(!)

With the venue booked, there's no let-up for the boys.

They'll be hard at work planning the essentials,

checking out rings, flowers, table plans...

Hang on, oh...

I am not really 100% sure what we're looking for here, are we looking for people dressed as robots?

-Yeah, I think so, that's...

-That's what we want?

Well, we'll have to work out what actual ones cost, and how much...

There aren't actually real robots that you can get.

So you're telling me, right, I can send someone a message in Australia in two seconds,

but we don't have robots yet? I'm upset.

In search of futuristic waiters to serve drinks at his wedding,

Charles has arranged to see some suitable candidates.

-We've got a couple of robots for you, I understand that's what you want.

-Yes, please.

-Come on, robots!

LAUGHTER

Yes!

-Amazing!

-Brilliant.

So if you were handing out drinks to my guests as they come in,

can you show me some drink serving skills maybe?

Brilliant.

It's class.

'If Lauren saw those two robots at her wedding, she's freak out.

'I think we need to basically, reel him in, and hopefully'

get him back on the straight and narrow, so we get a wedding that Lauren will turn up to and enjoy.

Ladies first.

Lauren and friend Sam have gone to get their nails done

in preparation for the wedding.

It's only been five days but Lauren is already starting to worry.

Slightly concerned that nobody knows anything about anything yet.

Had lots of people wondering what's going on.

What about your invites? Has he...

Well, no. Nobody's said anything about that, yet.

And I've got lots of people asking me all the time. So it's...

That's getting a little bit stressful.

Phew, she's stressed? The groom has got much more important things to think about.

MUSIC: "STAR WARS" THEME TUNE

Like...

the special effects for the sci-fi theme.

I really think this is going to make it, mate. Looks amazing.

-I think it's absolutely mint.

-It's going to be good.

-It's going to be awesome.

Yes, it is a bit expensive, £1,500, but you know, some people spend that on rings, for crying out loud.

So I think that I've secured my theme, basically.

Who needs rings, anyway?

But if he does blow our budget on something ridiculous, and thinking, "Oh, it's not that expensive."

But then all his money's gone, I don't know how I could forgive that, to be honest.

I think we just found our spaceship, guys.

With nearly a week gone and with plenty of time on her hands,

Lauren's off to a wedding fair.

She wants to show bridesmaids Gisele and Kate

exactly what she'd choose if she were organising this wedding.

-They swirl, don't they?

-You wouldn't swirl that, at your bridesmaids.

Catch!

Do you think you'll remember buttonholes? I like this.

-It's a bit different, isn't it?

-What cake would you like?

I think something quite traditional but I hadn't really thought

about cake that much but they do look impressive, don't they?

That's so pretty, so delicate.

I don't think Charles will have thought...

Cake won't have crossed his mind.

Charles may live on another planet but don't underestimate him.

He's already briefed a cake maker on his theme.

She's come round to talk through her design.

If you imagine a square cake on the bottom with chocolate rolls

around the edge to create a garden wall.

Inside, little green alien sort of blobs,

looking up at a spaceship.

Separating this flying saucer from the cake, a clear glass vase

so it looks like it's hovering.

Inside the vase, LEDs, so it looks like the beams coming down.

How does that sound?

That's amazing!

It's really out there but I just sort of came up with that idea.

-What do you think, guys?

-That's really cool.

-Excellent.

-I'm happy with that.

-I'm happy too. Thank you very much.

With a £300 alien cake in the bag,

this groom's sci-fi dream has gone truly intergalactic.

But so has his spending.

He's splurged half his 12 grand budget in just a week.

It's week two and Charles finally remembers that he also has

a bride to please.

Bricking it.

It's high time he bought her a frock.

If we can ask you to wear some gloves.

They're not very manly, I'm afraid, but just to keep the dresses clean.

And true to form, he has a very specific frock in mind.

What kind of wedding is it going to be, Charlie,

what sort of theme have you got going on?

I've got a space age, sci-fi theme going on so

if we can get a futuristic princess, I don't know if that's even viable.

-Princess, galactic princess.

-A galactic princess.

I think they've got four of them dresses.

Got anything called a galactic princess?

Oh, dear. No galactic princess. This could be tricky.

And now the boys are on their own.

Have you got any idea what style of dress we're actually looking for?

-No idea. What do you reckon?

-I don't know.

-Professional opinion, guys.

Professional opinion?

We're hoping to your input on this dress thing,

on the basis you know what her style is.

I don't know.

The search for the perfect dress begins.

-That's not quite what I'm looking for.

-What colour is this?

Definitely don't want peach, do we?

Charles is genuinely in an alien world

and it's light years out of his comfort zone.

We're in over our heads here, lads, I think. Well, I am anyway.

It's daunting.

The girls have headed to a boutique bridal shop in the city centre

to have a look for Lauren's dream wedding dress.

I do really, really, really like that one actually.

She quickly picks out an oyster-coloured vintage-style number.

I think this would be quite flattering.

As the bride tries it on,

her bridesmaids begin to realise the size of the task faced by Charles.

I couldn't do it, could you?

I don't think we could do it, the three of us together.

I think we'd find it really hard. And its three boys doing it.

Oh, my God. I'm just imagining them sat on this sofa!

And they're all trying to pick a dress.

After a two-hour search,

Charles is struggling to find a dress that fits his theme.

You see, that's really nice. But it has got the big...

-Is that too big at the bottom there?

-I think so.

-It's nice but maybe it's just a bit too simple.

-This is too simple.

-Next one?

-Next one.

-Let's do it.

-That's nice, isn't it?

-I think that's quality. I really like that.

I like it. It's more retro, not too modern.

For me, retro is a no-no.

-I want her to look so dazzlingly modern.

-That's definitely Lauren.

So retro is a definite no-no for Charles.

The dress must be modern and preferably even futuristic.

Back at the boutique,

Lauren is about to reveal her dream vintage dress to her bridesmaids.

-Are you ready, ladies?

-Yeah.

-Oh, my God!

That's definitely the wow factor!

-That is amazing.

-Oh, my goodness.

I absolutely love it.

It's beautiful, isn't it?

It's just...

-..amazing!

-SHE LAUGHS

I just feel like a princess.

With its romantic ruches and roses, it's worlds away

from the futuristic frock her bloke has in mind.

I love it, the colour of it.

Looks like, really vintage-y and old.

This the sort of dress that I would want to get married in.

It's...beautiful.

I can't imagine you in anything else now.

How will you feel if you don't get this dress?

I don't know, I really don't have a clue what he would think of.

Now that I've tried on dresses, I do feel more like,

"What on earth is he going to pick?"

I genuinely don't think he has any idea whatsoever.

I really don't.

After five hours, it's all become a bit much for Charles.

He's lost, he can't phone home and his best mates

are a couple of kids.

A bit like ET, really.

I've got a headache. I've literally...

I'm more nervous now than I was when I proposed to her.

I'm glad I'm only doing it once.

I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

But just when he's on the verge of giving up...

STAR WARS THEME PLAYS

..who should appear but his Galactic Princess.

I like it, yeah.

I like that. It's wicked.

I do like it. I can imagine Lauren will look lush in that.

-That's the one then.

-Yeah.

Out of ten?

-Nine.

-That's good. I like that.

I think that's nice.

So let's look with all the additions,

see if it's what I imagine

my bride will be wearing when she's walking down the aisle.

But just to be on the safe side,

he throws some traditional accessories at it.

-Yep.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

I think that is quite beautiful, really.

-Definitely, I like it.

-Yeah.

The next time you'll see Lauren, soon to be your wife,

-she'll be in that.

-She'll look absolutely stunning.

The deal is done - £1,100 on a futuristic frock.

And more accessories than you could shake a light sabre at.

She HAS to love that.

Scared when I said that, though!

With the dress sorted,

Charles can get back to something he's actually interested in -

his own little world of make-believe.

And the hunt for a robot continues.

"Primo is 6ft 3in in a glitzy polished metal.

"He's able to sing and dance and has many sound effects

"to suit the mood of every occasion.

"Primo works very well for meet-and-greet situations

"and also at events when maximum impact is required."

Boo!

People will be surprised to see a robot greet them at the wedding.

It's not a wedding-type thing, is it? But my theme is a wedding-type thing

so I think it'll work really well.

I am convinced it will be a good choice.

Chuffed by his success, he moves on to the entertainment.

I've got a David Bowie tribute act to come in for the wedding.

He looks mint.

He says he's going to dress in the Ziggy Stardust space sci-fi era.

So I'm going to get him involved in my wedding, why would I not?

With one more Space Oddity in the bag,

the boys quickly suss the table decorations.

I'm quite happy that these are the centrepieces for my top table.

That's another £1,000 spent on a 6ft 3in robot,

a Bowie tribute act and a few glowing balls.

Lauren will be thrilled(!)

With two weeks nearly up,

Charles has blown over £10,000 on his sci-fi extravaganza.

And his next task could be his hardest -

finding the bridesmaids' outfits for the big day.

Oh, my God!

He may have his theme, but he hasn't thought about a colour scheme.

Now, that is quite nice.

OK! 135 quid.

That's a nice dress, but I've got a budget.

Ooh, sale 70% off, boom!

-Says it all.

-He's going to need all his Jedi superpowers to keep these three bridesmaids in check.

-Hello, ladies, how are we doing?

-Charles! Hello.

I've got a feeling I'm going to get quite angry with Charles today.

I don't feel that he'll have made the right choice for me.

I don't trust him at all, not one bit. I think I'll have to put my foot down.

-Can I just ask first...?

-Sod off!

-No, seriously.

-Don't even... I'm not even looking at them.

-So...

-Right, I'm not wearing that. There's no chance.

-Crotchless?

-No.

OK, ladies, I would like you to try these on for me.

The silver bikinis may have been a joke. but the sci-fi silver dresses aren't.

Good luck, girls.

Oh, my God, this is awful!

Oh, I just caught sight of my arse.

Completely disgusting, I hate it.

-OK, if you don't like it...

-The material's not very forgiving.

There's lumps and bumps in all the wrong places.

Next up, alien pink...

I think they do look quite nice.

-It's better...

-But?

-Don't like it.

The girls are having none of it

and push for something more traditional,

and more expensive at £135 a pop.

-These ones are better. Charles, she'll love these.

-These are better.

I must admit these look much better.

-These are very Lauren.

-I think she'll really like it. It's quirky.

However, because of what I am sincerely

pushing beyond the boundaries of budgets,

I don't know about shoes. You might have to do your own choices.

-We'll buy our own shoes if that helps.

-Is that OK?

-Decision made then. Thank you very much.

-Woo, thank you! They're lovely.

-They are beautiful, really like them, thank you.

-Good.

You all look beautiful so I'm happy.

With less than a week until the wedding,

money and time are rapidly running out.

After losing sight of his sci-fi theme with the dresses,

Charles gets back on track...

Look at them, they'll look mint for lapels.

..spending another £500 on alien blue flowers...

That looks class for the lads, definitely.

..wedding bands...

Rings done!

..and even sci-fi-themed favours for the guests.

What about sci-fi masks

so everyone can have a bit of fun?

I could write a personal message on each one.

You are a genius, Neil!

Oh, yeah, and he finally gets round to inviting them!

One week until the wedding, finally getting the invites away. Thank God.

It's been a hectic few weeks.

In the rush to perfect his sci-fi theme,

Charles has forgotten his wedding venue is light years away

from the intimate setting Lauren wants.

I think what I've done is booked a canteen at the end of a science maze

for my special day to get married with my future wife.

I could have completely messed up the whole damn thing.

-Quite possibly.

-Look at it, it's a warehouse, for crying out loud!

There are upside down mirrors and a bit of kaleidoscopes.

Ignore that. You have to focus on what you want.

What is it you really want this to feel like?

I just want Lauren to smile and know that I've done all right.

-So, romantic?

-Yeah.

We need to start thinking along the lines of how to make this pretty.

Like you say, it's an industrial space, but maybe it's candles, fairy lights.

-We can do it.

-We CAN do it, we will do it.

A different venue should do it!

Back at the flat, it's starting to dawn on Charles

how much the big day means to the love of his life.

This wedding is massively important, and with Lauren being away,

I've realised how much she does.

How that reflects on the wedding, it's going to have to be nothing but perfect.

It's going to have to be my gratitude times 1,000 right back at her

saying, "I've organised this. I love you with all my heart.

"I hope you're impressed with what I've done."

Because she deserves it. I want her to be happy.

I want her not just to be happy but amazed...

and happy that she's marrying me

so...it's a lot of pressure.

With only four days until the wedding,

it's time for the stag and hen.

Charles has booked the girls a mystery meal.

With his love of space, he's probably sending them somewhere exciting

far, far away.

Well, KFC is that way, so that's OK.

As is McDonald's.

Nope, he's sending them to Solomon's,

the curry house 300 metres down the road.

THEY LAUGH

Ah, Solomon's, we never come here(!)

I do love it, though, it's good.

-Thanks.

-Thank you, bye.

Good old Solomon's!

CHEERING

While the girls settle in at the local curry house, over at the stag,

the best men have arranged for an appearance

from Charlie's fantasy sci-fi woman.

Say hello to princess Charles...

Give us a little spin!

..complete with princess pants.

It's good, yeah, cheers.

I don't like the knickers, though.

Princess Charles's first stop is the local pub

where "she" thinks everyone else will be in fancy dress.

CHEERING

They're not.

I stupidly thought that I was going to get away

with not having to dress up as some idiot.

-May the Force be with you.

-In your pants!

I'm wearing knickers that say "princess" on them.

You know, whatever, I can deal with it.

At the curry house, Charles has arranged a few romantic surprises

for his sophisticated bride.

This was bought by your future husband,

and also he has bought you five spicy chicken starters.

THEY CHEER

Five spicy chicken starters for 15 girls?

Woooo!

-It's not the finest of dining, a curry, is it?

-No.

-But we got Moet.

-And a spiced chicken.

LAUREN LAUGHS So, no, I think it's good.

But those spiced chickens haven't quite taken Lauren's mind off her biggest worry.

I'm actually getting a bit stressed out that I haven't received an invite yet cos...

I just don't know how far we've got to go,

how much longer I'm not going to see him for.

I would like to receive that invite fairly soon. That would be nice.

Well, wait no longer, it's Charles's next surprise -

the invite.

Special poppadum!

It's the invitation, we've not seen it.

"You are cordially invited to the wedding of the Millennium.

"Charles Cagney Thompson and Lauren Elizabeth Farlow

"boldly going where no bride has gone before."

Things might not be as normal

as I'd initially predicted.

It's a bit plain, like!

I'm slightly concerned that Charles might have taken things a bit too far.

If he's gone completely over the top and just thought about himself, then I will be quite upset.

It's less than 24 hours until the wedding.

The reception room is still an empty shell

and the ceremony room is still a kids' canteen.

There's lots to do.

But with the last few pennies of the budget gone,

the boys have their work cut out

trying to transform the museum into a venue fit for a wedding.

I can't wait for her to see what I've done.

It literally means everything.

Tomorrow's the rest of my life after we sign on the dotted line.

I'm looking forward to every aspect of tomorrow.

But Charles is forgetting that his blushing bride will be arriving

at one of Newcastle's busiest museums. And with it being half term,

there's a good chance teacher Lauren will end up surrounded by kids

on what should be the most special day of her life.

The more close it's getting, the more the nerves start to kick in

about is it the right choice?

I'm genuinely very worried! I'm trying not to...

-I think it will be one of the first wedding...

-Ever.

..where the bride turns up in a lift at a science museum.

Not a lot we can do about that now. Just have to hope she likes it.

Oblivious to the array of potential disasters at the museum,

Lauren has worries of her own.

She's about to see her wedding dress for the first time.

-I am pretty nervous.

-I wonder how far it's going to be?

I know. how far is it going to be?

-Hopefully further than the hen do.

-Let's hope so.

Are we going to The Bridal Room?

-Have you ever noticed anything nice in the window?

-No.

Lauren wanted a vintage dress that made her feel like a princess,

but her groom's choice is more suited to a princess from another galaxy.

I am starting to feel really quite nervous

about what I am going to be wearing on my big day.

I'm scared it's going to be something that I really dislike.

Here we go!

-Hello.

-Hiya. I'm Lauren.

It's starting to become a lot more real now. This is the dress,

this is what I'll be wearing. I have no choice in the matter.

It's so important to you, this, isn't it?

It really is.

If it's not right I think I will be quite upset.

I think I'll find it hard to sort of be myself

if I don't feel comfortable.

-Would you like to come with me into the fitting room?

-Yes.

-Good luck.

-Thank you.

It's, er,

very plain.

It's really straight, I think.

I don't know if it's what I would have picked.

It's not what I expected at all.

I expected to open it and it would be like, wow!

But it doesn't feel wow.

It's just not necessarily

me.

I just feel a bit silly in all the stuff.

You can't wear all of that.

What's he thinking buying a tiara, a veil and a bolero?

I really can't stand this bolero, and not wearing it. I'm sorry.

The dress, you look absolutely stunning in.

You figure looks beautiful. But the rest of it's not right.

I just feel a bit silly.

So far the bride is far from bedazzled.

It's time to see the full effect in the mirror.

The dress is absolutely beautiful.

I love the dress.

I think it is absolutely fantastic.

I feel really slim and nice.

Quite sexy.

And considering how bad I felt five minutes ago, I feel really, really good.

And when I get this off it will look wonderful!

-It looks so much better.

-It's gorgeous.

-Really beautiful.

-Stunning.

I feel really good now.

I just want to get my make-up on, get my hair done,

walk down the aisle.

I feel really good now.

I think it's beautiful and I can't believe that he walked in a shop

with all these dresses and thought that's the one.

Because it is amazing, isn't it? And I just feel good.

So, he's got the dress, we're feeling good.

But let's see what tomorrow brings, girls, eh?

It's the morning of the wedding.

And it's a very traditional start to not such a traditional day.

Look who's arrived.

First, the make-up artist.

-Are you all excited?

-I am.

-Let's get you all done up.

Swiftly followed by best man Neil

with some gifts for the bride.

Hello!

So we've got some more Moet!

It's all gone incredibly well so far.

I don't know if that's leading up to some sort of disaster,

and whether we've had all our luck already.

But it has been very traditional,

we've had champagne, strawberries,

hair, make-up.

I'm still expecting something...unexpected.

Across town, the boys are also getting ready.

Surprisingly, the groom will be saying

"I do" in a morning suit, rather than a space suit.

No last-minute nerves.

Over-confidence is my only feeling right now.

We've done everything we humanly can.

We've done so much effort, put so much in in these three weeks.

No, I am all right, I'll be fine.

Let's rock. Let's do this.

As the boys head out to the museum,

at bride HQ there's still no hint of the theme to come

as the bridesmaids reveal the dresses they chose.

Oh, they are absolutely beautiful.

Do you like them as a dress?

I think they're so glamorous. Let's have a twirl.

They are beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

Next, Lauren's father arrives at the house.

Hello. Come in.

It's the first opportunity to see his daughter in her dress.

Oh, you look

fantastic!

You look lovely, Dad.

I look lovely?!

You look lovely. Fantastic.

I don't know what to expect. I am amazed.

There is no doubt who the bride is.

So far, every surprise has been a nice traditional one for Lauren.

And it doesn't stop with her transport.

-Aw!

-Oh, I like that!

I can't believe how traditional everything is.

It's really nice, everything's just really nice.

He's doing really well so far.

I am really chuffed. Really chuffed.

Off you go.

Charles has done it again,

but with a sci-fi wedding just around the corner,

it may take more than nice cars to keep Lauren smiling.

Back at the museum, the first of Charles's guests has arrived.

Oh, my word!

Hello Charles, my name is Primo.

-And I'm hear to help you with your wedding today.

-Spectacular!

High five, Primo. Yeah!

Hello, everyone.

And the groom puts him straight to work.

Welcome to Lauren and Charles' wedding, please make your way to the second floor and the Science Maze.

Thank you!

Oh, yeah, he's a funny character!

And as the guests make their way up to the Science Maze,

the bride draws ever closer.

Lauren dreamt of a wedding in an historic castle,

surrounded by rolling countryside.

But as she heads into Newcastle,

the penny finally drops.

We must be in the city centre.

It must be in the city centre.

Absolutely.

He's surprised us with everything else.

He has been good.

But everything is so wonderful and beautiful,

I'm worried he spent all our money on that,

and not the venue which is the most important one.

Do you think so? Do you think it is more important than the dress?

It's nice if the photos can be nice. Here, the photographs wouldn't be very nice.

What's going on?

Is it the Discovery Museum?

We wouldn't be coming down here if it wasn't, would we?

Here you go, kid.

Well, she's laughing.

But Lauren wanted an intimate wedding with a few invited guests.

Although, to be fair, only a few of these people ARE invited guests.

There's loads of people!

This is one science experiment that could go anywhere.

This is when I see some children from school.

Next up, every bride's favourite part of her special day.

The lift.

There's people looking at me through the lift. It's quite odd.

It's too public for me. This way, darling.

It's quite bizarre,

there's hundreds of people watching me.

Is it what you expected?

No. Not at all. It is like being in school.

Lauren may be laughing off the crowds but how will she feel about her ceremony room?

24 hours ago it was a kids' canteen at the end of a Science Maze.

But Charles pulled out all the stops

to try and make this room something his bride will love.

Ladies and gentleman, would you all please stand.

Good afternoon, everyone. On behalf of Charles and Lauren,

thank you all for coming here today to witness their marriage.

Do you, Charles, take Lauren here present to be your lawful wedded wife?

I do.

-Do you, Lauren, take Charles here present to be your lawful wedded husband?

-I do.

-From this day forward...

-From this day forward...

-I promise to share my life with you.

-I promise to share my life with you.

-To laugh with you.

-To laugh with you.

-To be proud of you.

-To be proud of you.

-To never take you for granted.

-To never take you for granted.

-To always take care of you.

-To always take care of you.

I promise to love you for the rest of my life.

I promise to love you for the rest of my life.

Therefore, it gives me the greatest of pleasure to say you are now husband and wife.

APPLAUSE

Amazing. It was a bit weird

walking in and everyone was staring at me in the middle of the Science Museum.

-Have they not got owt better to do?

-Hundreds of people!

It's cool. That was lovely in there. That was really nice.

-That is the best sort of thing we could do.

-You did?

-Yes.

-You did that?

Me and the boys.

-You didn't do that!

-We did.

-That's amazing.

You haven't seen everything yet.

You've done well so far. I'm really pleased.

-And I feel good.

-Good, I'm so glad. I love you.

-Love you too.

-Mrs Thomson.

It was so classy, really lovely, like a string quartet playing. It was gorgeous.

A fantastic job, I'm really impressed with him.

It was really beautiful what they had done with the space.

It felt really homely and cosy and that feeling she wanted to get out of it. It was really special.

Everything seems to have gone really well.

Now we just need to go upstairs and see what that bit is like. Hopefully she'll enjoy that as well.

So far our groom has wowed his bride with a few traditional touches

and a magically transformed children's science maze.

But this was a man with a dream. A sci-fi dream.

And Princess Lauren is about to have a close encounter

of the absurd kind.

Congratulations on your big day.

It's nice to see her smiling, anyway.

-Do you want to come and look at the tables?

-Yes.

It's very dark, that's my concern.

It's been done like this to show you the full extent of the lighting and everything.

I'm going to show you the cake.

Are there peas?

They are aliens.

I'm going to think peas if that's OK with you,

that makes me feel a bit better than aliens.

I have written messages to every single person

and everyone gets a mask.

It is ridiculous but I didn't spend any money and favours at all.

The masks are tacky, but apart from that

I'm very, very happy.

It is cool, it was just a shock, that was all.

It'll be lighter than this, that was just to show you the extent of the lighting for later.

OK. That feels a bit better.

Charles's sci-fi wonderland hasn't exactly sent Lauren into orbit.

His alien cake, dodgy favours

and disco lighting have left her feeling...

well, a bit spaced out.

But it seems she can see some light in the dark.

No, I love it, I just got that massive shock

when I walked in it was so dark and there was a robot in front of me.

The lights will come on soon, don't worry and they will go down later on.

-This will be good later on for dancing as well, isn't it?

-Yes.

-I like it. It is funny.

And you given me my little bits,

then you've got your bit as well,

so that's nice, it's the compromise.

That's what I thought.

And at least her knight in shining armour is by her side.

Ladies and gentlemen,

can you please be upstanding for the bride and groom?

I'm amazed that he's managed to pull all this off.

It's definitely the most unique wedding I've ever been to.

I thought a sci-fi wedding would be absolutely horrendous,

but Charles has blown me away today.

He has just done so well.

It has set him up for married life because now he can't do anything wrong.

And Charles has one last sci-fi treat he hopes will win over his new wife.

# Ground Control to Major Tom

# Take your protein pills and put your helmet on... #

I feel amazing, we did it. We pulled it off.

Best sci-fi wedding of the century. It has been fantastic.

I have really enjoyed it. Honestly, it has been a pleasure.

And it's not just the best men feeling the love in the air.

It seems that Lauren has finally given in to the dark side

and is enjoying the sci-fi vibe.

I couldn't be happier.

I'm married to literally the most beautiful girl I know.

I've have had the best day, Charles. I absolutely loved it.

I cannot believe that you have done all that in three weeks.

He has proved that he can do a lot more than he says he can do.

Not bad for a boy who just likes shooting aliens.

# This is Ground Control to Major Tom

# You've really made the grade. #

And I've shown you that sci-fi can be romantic.

Today is proof.

-Do not think?

-Yes.

Next time, will Anna be able to ditch her tomboyish ways...

The biggest decision I've had to make.

..by trying to give her bride-to-be...

I'm getting nervous.

..the classic civil wedding of her dreams?

Oh my God!

I think we'll be divorced before the day even over.

Or will the girly world of weddings...

How do girls do this?

..prove too hard to handle, leaving their big day in ruins?

I just want to go home, scrap it.

I feel like not marrying her now.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

E-mail [email protected]