Luke and Alex Don't Tell the Bride

This programme contains strong language

Five years of Don't Tell The Bride, 48 brave brides,

48 game-on grooms,

-dozens of dress disasters...

-Don't panic.

..and one near miss.

-Please just get on the plane.

-I'm not coming. Game over.

Now we're back for a whole new rollercoaster ride

as 12 more blushing brides

-leave the biggest day of their lives...

-Oh, my God.

..in the hands of the men they love.

The grooms get three weeks and £12,000.

12 Gs, man.

Are you ready?

And the brides get no say in how it's spent.

I just don't want to do this any more.

So, saddle up for tears...

It's not the right one.

-..tantrums...

-Why are we at some park on my wedding day?!

..and total meltdowns.

I can't even get it right. I can't, I can't do anything.

Tonight, is 22-year-old Luke really ready

to abandon his hedonistic days?

My wife is London and my mistress is Ibiza.

Will he follow his heart and have his wedding in Ibiza?

Is it really what she'd want?

Or will he give his bride the traditional wedding she wants?

A registry office, that'd be game over.

Will he stick by his own decisions?

I feel sick.

And can he convince the whole wedding party to keep his plans a secret?

I've got no idea what that boy's up to!

Will his over-elaborate plan be his undoing?

Turn back into the person you are, and I will speak to you.

Has he plunged himself in too deep?

-I'm sorry - I don't want to do it any more.

-Or can he turn it around at the last minute?

Actually unbelievable, mate.

-Can this party boy...

-I am on a non-stop trip to nervousville.

-..give this woman...

-I can't wear it.

..the wedding of her dreams...

-He's bitten off more than he can chew.

-It's a complete nightmare.

..and finally man up?

Today, 22-year-old Luke is moving out of the house

he shares with 25-year-old fiancee Alex and her parents in East Ham, London,

in order to arrange their wedding.

-Are you going to miss me?

-A lot.

Lots.

The couple may have only been together for ten months,

but they know they're made for each other.

It was love at first sight for me.

Luke has got an infectious personality,

which attracts a lot of people.

He's fun to be around, and he is funny and he's cheeky

and he can get away with things that most people don't.

Everyone's a winner.

'She's lovely, she's caring, she's considerate, she's funny.

'She's so funny. She's a bit wild.'

She's got everything.

They met while working in rival bars during the summer season in Ibiza.

'I went there two years ago'

because I got made redundant and I was struggling to find work here.

I was living on my own at the time.

Not living in the greatest area in Coventry. The bar I was working in went under.

I had £200 on me, and I was just like, "Let's go."

Not looked back since. I've been doing the seasons -

Ibiza, France, Ibiza, France.

That's been my lifestyle the past four years.

People go to Ibiza to get away from things

rather than go and find somebody they're going to marry!

Alex gave me a reason to get up in the morning.

She made me do things like going out for dinner,

things that I normally wouldn't do.

I'd normally just sleep, eat, work and party.

For the last four years, Luke's been working in temporary jobs abroad,

but now his life's been transformed by Alex, three years his senior.

I think if I didn't meet Alex then I'd still be there.

There was nothing that pulled me away.

You've got to grow up some time.

When the summer season ended, unable to afford their own place,

Alex invited Luke back to London to live with her parents.

Bon appetit.

Back in the UK, Alex works as a recruitment consultant,

while Luke works in retail.

The couple are now saving up for a home of their own.

I'm quite happy with it, to be honest.

I've been living on my own for a good few years, and it's nice to feel that I'm back at home.

It's just like having another son, really. Which is nice.

With his parents divorced and his mum living in Corfu,

Luke's fended for himself since the age of 17.

This is the first time he's felt settled.

So after just six loved-up months with Alex, he decided to propose.

People have said to me I'm far too young to be getting married,

but who are they to say, really?

Who are they to judge? I know that I'm ready.

This isn't messing around. It's not a holiday romance any more.

Money is tight, but this hasn't stopped Alex

dreaming of a traditional wedding, surrounded by her friends and family.

Family and friends at the wedding would be probably I would say the most important thing.

'I have got quite a big family, and we are all really close.'

Even though you've got this great venue or a nice dress,

if you've not got people that you want to spend the day with, then it's not really a wedding.

But Luke has got very different ideas.

It's really important for me to get married in Ibiza.

It is something I've always wanted to do. It's something we should do.

That's where we fell in love.

Alex has been planning her perfect English manor house wedding for years.

As soon as you say the word engaged, you become a woman obsessed.

You're forever on Google.

I have got a clear idea about what I want to do with the wedding.

But I've been planning mine since I was about nine.

So mine is more detailed than yours, probably!

'As far as Luke organising things,'

I don't think he's ever organised...

anything, really.

I know that I can do this, definitely, 100 percent.

I'll pull off the most amazing Ibiza wedding you've ever seen in your life.

It's time for the couple to say goodbye.

-Give us a kiss. I'll see you later, all right?

-I love you.

-I love you.

The biggest day of her life is now in his hands.

-Next time I see him will be at the wedding.

-Yeah.

Luke is headed four miles away to Bow,

east London, for the next three weeks.

But he doesn't have to tackle the job of organising the wedding alone.

He'll have help from the other special person in his life -

best friend 24-year-old Jay.

-Want a drink?

-Yes, drink!

They met while working in a bar in Coventry six years ago

and Luke soon followed Jay out to Ibiza.

And it's been a wild bromance ever since.

I love him to bits,

and I will do whatever I can to make sure this works.

Separate, they're great. Together, absolute nightmare.

They will cause chaos.

For me to go to his wedding and be his best man

will be the greatest day of my life.

They can't legally marry in Ibiza,

so Luke has an exciting plan -

to tie the knot in London in a registry office on a Thursday.

Venue, registry office, short, sweet, simple. Witnesses, in, out.

-Are we having a party at all?

-No, no party.

Right, so that is the England list done.

I think we deserve a drink for that.

After the registry office, he'll fly back to Ibiza

to make preparations for Alex's surprise blessing.

I'm not spending the night with my wife on my wedding night.

You can spend it with me!

Before flying his bride and their guests out on the Friday

for a blessing and a party on the Saturday.

The big wedding is Ibiza, that's when we're really going to get married.

This is set to be the most convoluted wedding ever!

So, what do we need to do first? England venue?

Come on, man, we've been doing this 25 minutes!

-You're killing me already.

-This is what we have got to do by tomorrow.

Ibiza can be put on the hob to simmer.

-This is boiling.

-Stressing me out already.

First stop for the lads, Marylebone Registry office in central London.

A place just to get the legal bit out of the way.

So, this is our yellow room.

As you can see, it's one of our smaller rooms.

It is usually booked out. Liam Gallagher got married here.

-In this room?

-Yes.

-Celebs!

Accompanied by her friend Kelly, Alex has come to see her

dream wedding venue, Boreham House in Essex.

With her Ibiza party days behind her,

she's wishing for a more grown-up wedding setting.

Oh, wow! Oh, that is so nice.

-How many people approximately?

-Probably 50 to 60.

-And your partner's side?

-Possibly 20.

-This is set up for 110, but 80 of you is going to be fine.

-Oh, dear.

80 people in this room might be a bit of a squeeze.

-And how many people does this hold?

-20 people.

-It could be perfect. Spot-on.

I love that you can see out as you walk in.

That's so nice.

-It's quieter because we've only got the one row of traffic going on.

-So far, so good.

-So, this is our blue room. It seats more people.

-I like this room.

-It seats 230 people.

Think it's the perfect size.

This is exactly what I want.

Exactly like this. You've got a nice amount of space,

it's not too small.

I'm just thinking about filling it. Do I want 30 people here?

This is just the legal side.

Once we walk outside, we break up again until, like, two days later. WOMAN LAUGHS

She's laughing, but will Alex see the funny side?

In a way, I do wish I had planned it now. When I see this...

Because this is so, so nice. It is so me.

I am going to send him thoughts in my mind to get this one.

So, have we made a decision?

I think I'm going to go for the blue room.

Well done, mate.

In Luke's mind, the real wedding will be in Ibiza, but this is still

where Alex will say her vows,

a world away from her ideal.

The lads' thoughts now turn to booking flights.

The hardest part about this is deciding who can't go.

You just need to look at it like names on the list rather than

worrying about them. If you get upset thinking about who it is,

this'll be the worst day of your life.

-You need to just look at this and go, "I'm sorry, you are more important to Alex."

-OK.

We should tick everybody that has no children, in the nicest possible way that can sound!

The budget will only stretch to 20 of the 60 friends

-and family Alex wants to invite.

-How many?

-About 36, 37.

-OK, so we need to get rid of 17.

I don't want you to hate me because of this,

but I've to be the harsh voice of reality.

You can't afford to let emotions get in the way of this, Luke.

You can't let this take over. You just get rid of people.

-One family is six people.

-Well...

She grew up with these people, though, you know?

Forget about that. Cut it.

Hello! How are you, honey?

Oblivious, Alex has invited all her mates around for a girly night in.

If you got the invitation and he was like, "Turn up here,"

and he just handed you tickets, you're getting married in Ibiza?

-Has she read Luke's mind?

-I don't know about that.

That could happen.

You never know.

Yes, but then you have got to think, my family is so big,

it'd be impossible.

If you got married in Ibiza,

and it was a case that he had to choose ten people to be out there...

-Oh, God.

-..including you two?

I couldn't do it. I just couldn't do it.

I literally couldn't pick ten people.

Well, luckily, she doesn't have to -

Luke does. It's decision time,

and he has to whittle down the flights to 20 of Alex's guests

and 10 of his own.

-Hannah and who?

-Hannah... she's got two kids.

I'm not picking out one of the kids! Don't look at me like that.

It's like Sophie's Choice, but not quite as drastic.

I need all my old school friends.

They're all hopefully at my wedding!

If not, there is going to be trouble!

Sorry, ladies, it's not looking hopeful.

These people are really close.

She's close to every single one of her friends.

I think he'll be panicking,

but when Luke gets stressed, he walks away from it.

-He can't walk away from this.

-No, he bloody can't.

I don't even want to think about it, I've been thinking it too much.

I finally get over it and then I start thinking again.

Luke's having doubts.

Sadly, that doesn't stop him, and with one click, he blows

over half his budget on 30 flights with nothing sorted in Ibiza.

That's about £6,500 that we've spent so far.

But that means we've got £5,500 left to do...

wedding, dresses,

rings, suits, food, flowers...

One week in, and they head off to the White Isle.

Because you can't legally marry in Ibiza,

they've allowed themselves six days to arrange the blessing.

They may have organised the travel for 30 of their guests,

but they've turned up with nowhere to stay.

Ibiza, baby! We're back home.

It's their first night in Ibiza for a whole year,

so tonight, plans for the blessing are on hold.

I love being here. It's like coming home. My wife...

is London, and my mistress is Ibiza.

With over half the budget spent already,

the lads hope to get by on a wing and a prayer.

First time here for a year, buddy. Are you ready?

Born ready, mate.

After way too many shots,

Luke wants to do the sensible thing and call it a night.

-Let's go.

-I want to find a place to live and I want to go home.

What do you mean find a place to live? You've got nowhere to live!

-You're winding me up. Come on.

-Yeah.

But they haven't booked a hotel and things take a turn for the worse.

I've just arrived in Ibiza and I need somewhere to stay.

Where is he? I need to get him. We need to stay together, basically.

He needs to be with me for tomorrow.

Nightmare. Argh!

Argh. I want to go home.

I'm going to find somewhere where we can stay, mate, where we can live.

Mate? Are you coming or not?

What did you walk off for? Are you going to walk off again? Jay!

Knobhead. What are you doing walking off?

-I'm trying...

-I'm asking where you are. Where's Jay?

-And you walk off.

-I'm talking, you're shouting.

-Then you walk off again.

-Stop shouting.

I don't want you here if you just walk away from me.

We're meant to be in this together. You can't walk away from me.

I've not shouted at you. For five years, I've never fucking...

-I wasn't shouting at you.

-Look at you. Look how tense you are!

Turn into a normal person. Turn back to the person you are and I'll speak to you.

-I'm not talking to you like this.

-I don't understand. Dickhead.

What the fuck am I supposed to do?

On their first night in Ibiza, will Luke lose his best man

and jeopardise his whole wedding?

Back in London, Alex is blissfully unaware of what's been happening.

For some reason, I've got this really strange feeling that he's on top of things.

I really don't know why.

Usually I'd be double-checking everything he's done.

I don't know why. It's strange.

I just feel like he's doing something right.

I hope. Maybe that's just my wishful thinking!

It's definitely the second one.

But after crashing out on a mate's floor for the night,

the lads have had a chance to reflect.

Feeling rough, really rough this morning.

He felt bad, I felt bad.

We had a hug and a kiss and made up and that's it. It's over and done with.

Never ever have me and Jay ever been like that.

That shows that, like, obviously there is some sort of stress.

That's why there's the stress. He wants to do it for Alex, the most important person in his world.

I want to do it for him, one of the most important in my world.

Luke's now paying for a hotel for the rest of the week

out of an already overstretched budget.

Our nuptial novices set out to find a venue for the Ibiza blessing,

but with less than half their finances left.

First up, a converted farmhouse which specialises in weddings.

-This is our garden.

-This is a bit special.

It's nice. Really nice.

What we do is decorate the arch with flowers

and we actually do your wedding blessing there.

I like it. I do actually like it.

-Do you think your future wife would like it?

-Yeah, I do. She'd love it.

It's about five grand to do everything.

-Getting people, getting a venue...

-Your face dropped then.

-Yes, that's going to be difficult.

-I knew it.

That amount of money, we've got to get a wedding dress,

bridesmaid dresses, rings, suits.

This is the Simple Fresh package.

4,900 euros, that would be for everything.

That would leave Luke with just £1,000 to arrange everything else.

Can we physically afford that? No.

We can if we don't get a dress.

Oh! Initially that was most important, to get everyone here.

Now we're going to bring them out here for nothing.

You've got a problem with the budget.

SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY AND HE SIGHS

But with the flights booked, there's no turning back now.

Just should've been thinking from the start, really. Stupid.

The lads leave the island in four days.

Unable to afford a ready-made venue, they decide to find a free one.

I'd have it over here on the rocks.

Those rocks over there, it's just lovely. That water looks so good.

We can make all and plans, but unless we know we actually can it's pointless. What do you think?

No. It's not feasible you can have it here.

I'm not feeling good today.

It's hard. I don't want to do it any more. I don't want to do this.

I just can't do it. I can't plan this wedding.

Not out here. It's just so hard.

I'm sorry. I just don't want to do it any more.

No point in getting everyone out here and having a shit venue, is there?

Absolutely no point. Could've stayed at home and had a shit venue.

I wouldn't have paid so much for flights.

I would've brought a small number out and had a perfect venue.

I didn't think about it. I haven't thought about everything.

Yeah, it is beautiful. When I was out here, I was just partying.

It still is a beautiful island

and it's where me and Alex met and where fell in love

and that's what I keep saying to myself.

But is it really what she'd want?

A dip to cool off.

But is 22-year-old Luke now swimming against the tide?

As the sun sets, the lads head back out to drink away their doubts

about bringing people to a possible ceremonial calamity.

I need to get up and get ready.

With 30 guests flying out in a week's time and nothing sorted,

a groom-to-be who's never organised more than a round of drinks

has realised he's bitten off more than he can chew.

We've got so much to do.

We've pissed it up the wall.

Here is not what Alex would want.

Why would I do a wedding where she doesn't want to get married?

I can't go home and tell her she hasn't got a wedding.

HE SOBS

I can't even plan a wedding for her.

I can't do anything.

I'm fucking useless, mate. It's pathetic.

I can't make any decisions myself.

I can't do nothing. I can't do it.

I can't fucking do it.

HE SOBS

I'm fucking hiding away and shying away from everything.

I'm not fucking ready. I'm not fucking ready for it.

What the fuck is the matter with me, mate?

There's something fucking the matter with me.

Give me the opportunity to plan a wedding

and I can't even do it.

What do you know about planning weddings? You know nothing about it.

We need to do the best we can.

I've let her down so much.

You haven't let anyone down.

-I fucking have. I've let everyone down.

-We'll get it done.

HE SOBS

I'm sorry, mate. I know it's stressful.

I didn't realise how stressful it would be.

We just need to carry on, don't we?

Shake it off and keep going.

Almost 900 miles away,

Luke's fiancee is catching up with her girlfriends.

-ALL:

-Alex and Luke!

-Thank you.

Clueless about registry offices and Balearic breakdowns.

He's quite irresponsible at times but when it comes to something like this

I think he will be deadly serious.

Yeah. When it matters.

At the end of the day, he knows that I'm going to go there

and if he's messed up...

..then he's got to see my face.

Is he going to know who to invite?

That's what I'm worried about as well.

Say if he's got a venue where there's a minimum, obviously there always is,

what if he misses really important people?

My main concern out of the venue, the dress, everything, is my guest list.

The worst thing for me, I don't want a registry office.

That would be game over.

-He might do a registry thing and then a big party.

-No, no, no.

-Still no?

-No. They're horrible.

My mum got married in a registry office and she had photo. It was like a brick wall.

The bottom line is I'm getting married.

Hm, maybe not when you see where you'll be saying your vows, Alex.

In the depths of despair, Luke's had a brainwave.

He's scaled down his ambitions and goes cap-in-hand to his former boss

to beg the use of his restaurant.

It's good that it's you, the boss man.

-Could you see yourself getting married here?

-I definitely could.

That's it, then.

That view just says it all.

Negotiating mates' rates,

Luke only has to pay for food at £20 a head, plus alcohol.

I'm just so happy.

I was feeling awful earlier. I wanted to quit, really.

But I feel so much better now than what I did.

The big man cheered me up.

Luke's finally on a roll and in his last two days in Ibiza,

sorts out the wedding cake...

I was thinking of one of those cupcake tiers.

..the floral arrangements...

This is the first time I've ever been in a florist.

..and the all-important bridal make-up.

The one thing I haven't sorted is hair and make-up.

I'm hoping you're going to be available on 9th July.

-Yeah, I am, actually.

-That's why I love you. That is why I love you!

Congratulations!

There wasn't 100 percent effort out here with me

and I'm shooting myself in the foot for it now,

but I'm going to turn it around. I know I am.

I'm going to make this the shitest hottest wedding day of all time.

Let's hope for Alex's sake it's the latter.

Back in the UK, Luke's left it three days before the registry office

to make one of the most important decisions.

I'm actually bricking it, like totally bricking it.

He sets out to buy a dress suitable for two occasions -

a registry office and a beach.

Honestly, so nervous.

I'd offer you some advice, mate, but I haven't got a clue!

This is all just white to me.

Straighter neckline like that.

-That's quite nice.

-That's probably the nicest.

-Get someone to try it?

And this is only shop number one.

Still blissfully ignorant of her fretting fiance's decisions,

Alex goes fantasy wedding dress shopping with her mum and sister-in-law Laura.

And a bride-to-be who spends her lunch hours Googling wedding dresses

won't settle for anything other than perfection.

I don't like that, it's got straps.

-This one?

-Champagne? No, I don't like that.

It looks a bit dirty.

-Oh, this one.

-No, this looks tacky.

I'm so fussy.

That's actually white.

I prefer the ivory. I think white's a bit too Daz.

I think she'd want a white dress, that's the only thing.

I think the white ones look really cheap.

I always thought I'd like white,

but I slightly like it off-white.

This is the big decision. This is the one.

This is like...

Make sure you get the dress right and she'll forget everything else.

OK, if you'd like to come out.

First dress. What do you think of that one, Luke?

I think it looks good. I can see Alex in that. I think she would like it.

Will she love it?

So a plain white dress is the firm favourite as the lads head to the next shop.

Which is a satin, which would have a hoop under.

You've got the beautiful detail at the top.

That is quite nice, actually. The satin one, it's big.

-It's big and glam.

-I think that would be an ideal dress for her.

-Do you like this satin?

-No, I hate satin.

I hate it for bridesmaid dresses.

I don't like satin at all.

And here we have our model, sporting a little satin number.

-It's nice, isn't it?

-It is a nice dress, yeah.

Can you give us a twirl?

That's a really nice dress. Alex would look gorgeous in that.

-In white on a beach.

-It's special, it's glamorous.

-Oh, wow.

-That's lovely. Ah!

-I really like it.

-I love the tiara.

-Yeah, I do.

-That is nice.

It's so pretty.

Mummy, I like it. I want this one!

Alex has fallen in love with a confection of lace,

suitable for a quintessential English manor house setting.

But can Luke read her mind?

I think Luke will pick a nice dress.

I have every faith in him.

Agh.

Makes that one we've seen before look boring, don't it?

I'm thinking she'd like something a little bit...

Razzle-dazzle.

I feel sick.

I think I'm going to go with...

the dress this young lady's wearing.

-Thank you very much.

-Dazzled by the razzles,

Luke's spent £1,000 of his shrinking budget

on a white shiny satin dress.

Now I'm nervous about whether she's going to like it or not.

It's like a non-stop trip to Nervousnessville.

With two days to go and with just over £1,000 left in his budget,

Luke must channel his inner wedding planner and sort out the rings.

When are you getting married?

Ha... Thursday.

Whoa!

And the bridesmaid dresses.

It's more stressful than I anticipated.

Ladies, you look fantastic.

Tell you what, I don't want to shop any more.

It's the day before the registry office wedding

and the moment that Alex has been waiting for.

It's time to try on the dress.

I just hope that she loves it. She's got to love it.

Really has to love it.

Luke's picky partner has her heart set on lace,

but she's about to come face to face with Satan...

Satin, sorry. ..she's about to come face to face with satin.

God, what's he picked?

I'm looking at them now and I'm thinking,

"I just don't know how he'd pick one."

She'll see it, love it, her friends will love it.

Everyone's going to be crying, tears everywhere.

Tears and wedding dresses.

They'll be, like, "Luke's done a great job. Good dress."

"He's not a total idiot."

-How you feeling?

-Sick.

-Ready?

-Yes.

I don't like it.

-Oh, no.

-I don't like it. No.

-It's nice.

-I don't like it at all.

Don't like that. Don't like that. It's too white.

Don't like all the ruffle.

-Do you like the top?

-No.

-The top's lovely.

-No. I don't like the dress at all.

I don't like them white like that. I don't like this...

I hate satin, I hate it.

I hate that material.

-(I can't believe it).

-I know, I didn't think he'd get that.

It's just... No. I don't like it. This is horrible.

That is awful. That is awful.

Everything I hate about dresses, everything I've been saying,

I don't like satin, I don't like those little sequin bits...

I'm sure you'll like it better when you try it on.

I'll try it on.

I just think it's the worst...

OTHERS CHAT

It's the one thing she said, "I hate white and I hate satin."

And it's white satin.

-Couldn't be worse, really, could it?

-No.

No.

It's not happening.

I don't... No.

I HATE the back. I hate the back.

-I'm not wearing the dress.

-That's up to you.

I'm not wearing the dress. I'm sorry, I'm not wearing it.

Absolutely not.

He knows I don't like tack and he knows I'd think that was tacky.

I'm sure he would know that, he knows what I'm like.

Ooh, I hate it. I actually...

I honestly thought he might pick something that I probably wouldn't,

but to pick something that I completely dislike...

No, I want to get out of it, cos I can't wear it.

I'm not wearing it.

Confident they've made the right choice with her outer wear,

-the lads go shopping for Alex's underwear.

-PHONE BEEPS

Hello, Luke speaking.

Oh, Luke speaking, it's Elaine speaking.

-'We're in the dress shop.'

-OK.

'We have a little bit of a problem.'

-What's the problem?

-Alex doesn't like the dress.

-Really?

-'Yeah.'

-She completely hates it?

-'She completely hates it.'

She's refusing to wear it.

'She said, "Do you have a Plan B?"'

HE SIGHS

'Sorry, mate.'

It's all right.

If she don't like it, she don't like it, does she?

Exactly, and, um,

to be honest, I don't much either, and neither does Laura.

Do you have any money left in the budget for a Plan B?

-No. No, I don't.

-You don't. OK.

So we have to try and get a Plan B together somehow, don't we?

All right, yeah, we definitely do.

-'Sorry, Luke.'

-It's all right, no. I understand. Sorry.

She hates it. Hates the dress. Refusing to wear it.

Do you want some of these, mate? Stress boobs?

We should've come here on day one and bought a pair of these!

They can swap it over, but if there's any difference in cost,

-we'll have to make it up.

-OK.

Luke can't, he hasn't got any left on the budget.

Luke hasn't a penny left, so his future mother-in-law

will have to bail him out on this one occasion, to ensure Alex has something to wear tomorrow.

Do you like it?

Don't like that at all.

Oh, wow, that's lovely. Beautiful.

-What about you, Alex?

-I like it, but...

I think I may prefer that one.

That is nice.

I don't like it.

-It's huge!

-Are you OK?

-Yeah.

-That's lovely.

-Oh, I like that.

-Do you like it?

No, I don't like it.

-Poor Luke!

-SHE LAUGHS

Got the beautiful buttons down the back.

I'm not trying to be a bitch, I just don't like them.

It's one dress you haven't tried.

I'm not thrilled. It's such a hard decision to make

to pick a dress based on, "It's OK".

I think you should go for that one.

This is the dress I'm going to pick cos it's the one I like the most,

but I still wouldn't pick this if I had a choice.

Little does Alex know she'll get to wear this dress twice.

So, I guess, Mum, I have to tell you the difference in price

for the dress and accessories and alterations.

-That's an additional £660.

-OK.

Six painful hours later and our bolshy bride has a lacy dress

that she'll wear to her wedding,

but only thanks to the bank of Mum and Dad.

It's the morning of their wedding and things haven't got off to the sunniest of starts.

Oh, you know. It doesn't rain, it pours.

This is ridiculous. It's my luck.

I'm bricking it a little bit, to be honest.

She's going to be like, "Why are you here? You've had a budget of £12,000

"and I'm getting married in a registry office in Marylebone."

You know, for £115. I've got to leave her after that.

She's going to come in, we have to legally get married

and then I've got to go.

I've got a Megabus to catch to Birmingham, baby.

-Oh, mate.

-How you feeling?

You know when you just feel a bit sick?

Butterflies, like. Just nervous.

And he's right to be nervous.

In Luke's mind, the real wedding is in two days' time

when he flies Alex to Ibiza for the blessing.

So he hasn't invited any of his own family to the registry office,

and only a handful of hers,

-to witness them officially become man and wife.

-I'm ready to do this.

This is fucking unbelievable.

Actually unbelievable, mate.

To make matters worse, he'll be leaving his new bride

at the altar only minutes after they say "I do".

-You ready?

-Born ready.

-Let's do it, come on.

-Let's do it.

In Central London, the troops have arrived

at the bride-to-be's hotel to get her ready

for one of the most important days of her life.

All Alex knows is that she has to be ready for midday.

They know about Luke's Ibiza plans, but he's sworn them to secrecy.

Yay, all done up!

I was nervous this morning, cos I didn't know what was going on,

then as soon as the girls came, I'm fine.

But the bridesmaids predict her mood will change

once she finds out where she's signing the register.

-She's not going to be happy.

-No. But I just think...

Hopefully, we'll be there to help her through

whatever she gets thrown at her, so...

She'll be married at the end of it, that's what matters.

So I'm hoping that's all she's thinking about -

seeing Luke and marrying him at the end of the day, so...

-Oh, I love them! It's navy!

-Navy!

-It's navy!

-Do you like them?

-So nice!

It's navy!

Luke's invited just a smattering of guests,

but Alex's friends have phoned round to make sure she won't be getting married in an empty room.

All of the guests are in on the conspiracy, but they're anxious

not to spoil the Ibiza surprise for Alex.

-I wonder where we're going?

-I know.

I'm just kind of baffled.

Will it be game over once Alex registers that it's a registry office?

It's 1pm and after three weeks apart,

Alex is about to be reunited with her groom.

For all of 30 minutes.

I haven't got a bouquet.

I've got no flowers.

Could I ask you please to be upstanding for the bride?

APPLAUSE

Could I ask who has Alex's ring?

That's me.

Cheers, mate.

Now placing the ring on your bride's finger,

-could you repeat after me...

-(You're shaking).

Look at your bride and don't take your eyes off her.

LAUGHTER

And breathe, Luke!

LAUGHTER

-I give you this ring.

-I give you this ring.

-As a symbol.

-As a symbol.

-Of my love.

-Of my love.

-And commitment.

-And commitment.

-And I call upon.

-And I call upon.

-These persons here present.

-These persons here present.

-To witness.

-To witness.

-That I, Alex.

-That I, Alex.

-Do take thee, Luke.

-Do take thee, Luke.

-To be my lawful wedded husband.

-To be my lawful wedded husband.

-And place the ring on his...

-SIREN BLARES NEARBY

So it now gives me great pleasure to pronounce you both husband and wife.

Congratulations. And, Luke, you may now kiss your bride.

CHEERING

-ALEX:

-Where's your mum?

Not here. None of my family could...

-Aw...

-It's all right.

-You must be joking.

-It's all right.

Before Alex can even get her head round

why Luke's family aren't there, the groom must away.

-We've got to go.

-I'm not going now.

-We've got to go now.

-I just need to talk to her.

We've got to go. I am sorry, we've got to.

Just go and say to her, "Trust me." All right? Let's go.

-Listen, come and have a chat.

-What?

-Give me a kiss.

-I love you so much.

-I love you, too.

-It's not over.

-I've got to go.

-Eh?

-Trust me.

-We've only just got married and you're leaving me?!

-I've got to go.

-I don't understand!

-You're not supposed to!

I know it's hard, but it's something you've got to do. Bigger picture.

With a plane to catch, the lads make a bundled getaway,

en route to spending Luke's first night as a married man

with each other.

How am I going to spend it, the night with my wife?

Have to make do with me for a couple more days.

-Leaving a bewildered bride in their wake.

-What are we doing?

Do I... Do I sit here?

Alex is the only person there who doesn't know about the upcoming blessing.

-I'm baffled.

-Aren't we all? Should we go and get more baffled?

-Do you not know what we're supposed to be doing?

-No, no. No idea.

-OK.

This is the strangest wedding.

And it's not just the bride who's baffled by Luke's lack of planning.

Thank you.

-So, where's she going tonight?

-Don't know.

-She didn't know he wasn't going to see her?

-No, he's not going to see her.

She laughed and then she realised, no, actually, it is "What do we do now?"

There's so much we can do, really. Can't do everything, can we?

It should've been down to Luke.

A lot of people have had to make up for the mistakes he's made and the things he's forgotten.

And...

to try to make it better for Alex.

-Maybe he bit off more than he can chew.

-Yeah.

-So, what am I doing? Going home and doing what?

-I guess we go...

Get changed and get something to eat.

-Do whatever you want for the rest of the day.

-Everyone can stay.

And then...yeah.

That's all we know, so far.

Someone can go and get my stuff because I'm not going back to the hotel. I'm too hot.

I'm not flipping getting in that car.

It's 3pm and with no better suggestions,

the bride and her family and friends simply head to the nearest pub.

Unsure of what they can and can't tell Alex,

the guests are tiptoeing on eggshells.

Like everyone else, her brother is terrified of ruining the surprise.

It's a complete nightmare. Every time I speak,

I think I'm going to blurb away something about the plans,

not that I know that much,

but I know probably a little bit more than she does

for the organisation purposes, but, yeah, it's a complete nightmare.

It's really, really hard because, obviously, all the time,

she's like, "What's going, I want to know what's going on."

It's understandable because she's stressed,

and this is her wedding day.

I am confused, you know,

I was kind of standing there and didn't know what was going on.

There was no instructions of what to do.

I didn't think my reception would be in here.

I've got no idea what that boy's up to.

Absolutely no idea what he's doing.

And on what should be the most romantic night of her life,

Alex gets to share her bed with...

her chief bridesmaid.

It's not how I expected the wedding night to turn out.

-I thought we'd all sort of still be...

-Partying?

Yeah, or out for a drink, just the normal stuff, you know.

I didn't think I'd be having a cup of tea,

with my bridesmaid, ready to go to bed!

I thought it was quite strange his family wasn't there.

So I think maybe it may have something to do with...

going to see his family,

possibly going to see his mum.

It could be Coventry or Corfu, you reckon?

Something like that, maybe.

Meanwhile, the runaway groom has just arrived at Birmingham Airport.

I've basically spent my wedding day missing a bus,

sitting on the floor of a train,

and coming to an airport. That's not how I would have planned my wedding day.

Er, this IS how you planned your wedding day, Luke.

-It's been a really hard day. I've got married.

-Congratulations.

-But I haven't spent it with my bride. Shit.

-I know, I'm sorry.

I've not known anybody on their wedding day to fly away from their bride. You've got it tough.

-Come on, you big handsome bastard.

-Yes, that's why I love you.

Fortunately, the best man is there to lift his spirits.

That's why I love you.

It's the day after the wedding

and Luke sends word for Alex to pack a bag and be ready for 7pm.

She sets off. Destination - unknown.

Back in Ibiza, Luke's making final preparations.

After the damp squib in London, he needs everything to be perfect.

Alex will be at Gatwick...Gatwick Airport,

she'll be getting ready to get on a flight.

Coming over here...

..she's going crazy not knowing what's going on.

As long as I can get everyone out here, that's when I can start...

-..making some magic.

-But there's a problem.

'The Blackwall Tunnel southbound remains closed

'as it has been since 3:30. 'A lorry crashed.

'This is causing all sorts of problems.

'The whole of East London is absolutely awful.'

Come on, we've got places to be, get out of the way. Dillydallying along.

A road sign alerts Alex that she could be getting on a flight.

-Seen a sign, it's going towards Gatwick.

-What could it mean?

Well, unless he's taking me to some ghetto in Brixton...

THEY LAUGH

..then I'm kind of swayed to Gatwick.

Oblivious to the delay, Luke meets his mum from the airport.

You look absolutely gorgeous. Married man now.

She's flown in from her home in Corfu and they haven't seen each other for months.

Back on the road, the chief bridesmaid knows

they're now running almost two hours late for their 10pm flight.

-We've got, like...20 minutes, 25 minutes?

-Yeah.

We won't get there in 25 minutes.

We'll see.

A panicked phone call from Alex's dad drops the bombshell

that Luke could be brideless tomorrow.

Oh!

If they don't get on the flight, then there is no wedding.

We've got just over 10 minutes to get there.

He wants to hope we make it on time otherwise he'll have no bride there.

OK, we need to go. Thanks!

That way, that way.

I'm going to miss my own fucking wedding!

Last time I spoke to Alex,

she was running through the airport trying to get to her plane.

Oh, God.

# Sun rising

# Sun rising... #

It's the morning of the blessing and Luke arrives at his venue,

unsure whether his new wife will actually turn up.

Here's good. Right here, yeah, right here's good.

Planning a wedding seriously is the most stressful thing I've ever done in my life.

The 30 guests lucky enough to be invited

have flown in from the UK, and take their places.

# Sun rising. #

But have they turned up to witness a blessing without a bride?

# If I should die

# This very moment

# I wouldn't fear

# For I...#

Luckily for Luke, she's made it.

# ..like being here

# Here is true peace

# Here my heart knows calm

# Safe in your soul... #

-Oh...

-Oh, hello!

APPLAUSE

Bloody hell, you sod!

Again! I can't believe you're going to make me do this again.

These last three weeks have probably been the hardest three weeks of my life.

I would do endless amount of weeks

if that meant I could be with you.

I love you so much, like...

ridiculous amounts, you know.

It's ridiculous, I love you so much.

It's been the...probably the worst three weeks I've ever had to...

had to deal with.

But I know you would do well

and this is better than anything I could have planned.

And I'm really proud of you.

It gives me great pleasure to pronounce you now man and wife.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-Go on, Luke!

-Thank you, everyone. CHEERING

Go on, Luke!

When you left the other day, I was like...

"What the ... hell is going on here?"

But there's, like, cousins, there's my friends, there's like...

I can't believe I'm in Ibiza. I'm in shock.

And Luke's island setting is also a hit with his guests.

It's come together now, he's made up for everything.

It's just absolutely stunning. It's beautiful.

It's a happy ending. It's really lovely.

There were moments when it was a bit touch and go, in terms of where we're going, what we're doing,

especially when he left her at the registry office,

we didn't have a clue what we're supposed to be doing.

And Alex... It's not nice to be left when you've just been married.

The journey's been a bit of a rollercoaster,

but now we're here, it's just, yeah, it's gorgeous.

# The sun goes down

# The stars come out

# And all that counts is here and now

# My universe

# Will never be the same

# I'm glad you came

# The sun goes down, the stars come out

# And all that counts is here and now

# My universe will never be the same

# I'm glad you came

# I'm glad you came. #

And after the sunset photos, there's a chance for the groom

to reflect on his big day with that special someone.

Hell of a wedding, pal.

Hell of a wedding.

I think it's worked out well.

I think it's worked out really well. I think...

she's happy, you know.

As long as she's happy, that was the main objective out of it all,

to make sure Alex was happy, and I just want to thank you,

-thank you for everything. Just want to say thank you, man.

-Cheers, buddy.

It's been a pleasure to do it with you. Me being able to plan

so much of the biggest day of your life

has been present enough, dude.

So, the 22-year-old groom who wanted to quit

has pulled off not just a wedding, but a blessing as well.

But has he managed to pull off the wedding of Alex's dreams?

What I would've done would not have been anything like this.

It's been amazing.

It's all been worth it. To be where we met, as well, to have it where we met, it's just...

it's just unbelievable.

It's been three weeks from hell, but it's been worth it.

Every single second has been worth it, just to see you happy like that.

It's been worth it.

-You are amazing.

-You're making me cry.

Seeing you now, I'd do it all over again.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-What, the stress?

-100%, I'd do it all over again.

-Even the stressy bits?

-Everything.

Everyone can raise their glasses to Luke and Alex on what is the most special day of their lives

and one of the most special day of mine. OK, so to Luke and Alex.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Next time, 22-year-old skater boy Alex...

..wants to turn his bride's big day into a big playground.

Bouncy castles, rodeo bulls, coconut shies, the lot.

I'm going to hate the whole day.

Will he and his mates get a gold star for good behaviour?

They just act like children.

Or forever be condemned to the naughty step?

Hello, Mummy!

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