Alex and Kara Don't Tell the Bride

This programme contains strong language.

Five years of Don't Tell The Bride. 48 brave brides,

48 game-on grooms,

dozens of dress disasters...

Don't panic.

..and one near miss.

Please just get on the plane.

I'm not coming. Game over.

Now we're back for a whole new rollercoaster ride,

as 12 more blushing brides leave the biggest day of their lives...

Oh, my God.

..in the hands of the men they love. The grooms get three weeks...

No way!

..and £12,000.

12 Gs, man!

-Oh, my God!

-Are you ready?

-Born ready, mate.

And their brides get no say in how it's spent.

I don't want to do this.

So saddle up for tears...

SHE SOBS

..tantrums...

Why the hell are we at Thorpe Park?

..and total meltdowns.

-SOBBING:

-I can't even plan a wedding for her. I can't do anything.

Tonight, 22-year-old skater boy Alex

wants to turn his bride's big day into a big playground.

Bouncy castles, rodeo bulls, coconut shies, the lot.

I'm going to hate the whole day.

Will he and his best mates get a gold star for good behaviour?

ROARING

They're like children.

Or forever be condemned to the naughty step?

Hello, Mummy!

-Can his controlling bride let go?

-You look really angry.

Can Alex cover himself in glory?

Can this big kid give this woman...

I'd never have picked that dress.

..the happiest day of her life?

THEY SCREAM AND LAUGH

-I know she loves me.

-No.

Today, 25-year-old hairstylist Kara

is moving out of HER house in Reading and leaving the keys

in the tattooed hands of her fiance Alex.

This 22-year-old care worker

is about to take sole charge of planning their wedding.

-I'm really scared.

-I'll do it proper.

-I don't believe you.

-I promise.

They met two years ago

and it seems that Alex's hedonistic reputation preceded him.

He was a total slag.

I would say hero.

I wouldn't go as far as superhero. Just a hero.

Do I look like a superstar?

Alex is brilliant. He doesn't take anything too seriously

which in general life is nice because I'm really serious

and we balance each other out. He just makes me happy.

When they met, Kara was a hair stylist

and Alex was a barman and partying hard.

Before I met Kara I was quite a troublesome youth

and she's put me on the right path. It's so good that I've met her.

I'm only 22 and I feel ready because I know I love Kara so much.

I like the fact that you would do anything for me.

It's good to have someone like that in your life.

I've never really had it before, so...

At the tender age of 22,

Alex proposed to his girl, three years his senior, in a muddy field.

-I proposed to Kara at a festival.

-It was awesome.

We were amongst thousands of people but in our own little world.

I wouldn't have wanted a whole, massive proposal.

-That would have been so cringey.

-Family, friends.

-It would have been awful.

Kara has a five-year-old son Roman from a previous relationship.

I first met him when I was 21.

I love him to bits. He's such a nice character, so hyper.

He's at that age now where I'm embarrassing mum.

He sees Alex as his friend.

But when it comes to Alex and money it feels like she's a mum of two.

You don't take things seriously, like a child.

I'm not childish.

SHE GIGGLES

What are you doing?

Alex lived with Kara immediately after moving out of his mum's

and his more sensible fiancee

is petrified about leaving him alone in her house.

-Soon as I'm in here, ruling the roost...

-No, no.

-King of the castle.

-No, it's not your house. It's my house

and everything's in my name.

If you don't pay everything, that's on me.

It'll be fine. You panic too much.

He's so bad with money that she even has to baby-sit his bank card.

I have your card and stuff and I take out what needs to come out.

Kara is a control freak, basically.

Kara has worked as a hair stylist for hundreds of brides.

I've been to so many weddings and they're all so similar.

And she knows exactly what she wants.

I want people to come to our wedding and know they're never going to a wedding like that ever again.

Considering how often Kara changes her look,

Alex will need to be psychic

to guess the current flavour of the month.

I don't want diamonds, I don't like sparkles, bling or glitter.

So everything a normal bride likes I don't like.

Kara doesn't seem like she would be a Bridezilla,

but I think it's within her.

Extra small? Ooh!

I'm so small, so a dress that looks amazing on a six-foot girl

will not look amazing on a four-foot-eleven girl.

I'm just going to look like I'm in my mum's clothes playing dress-up.

I'd feel uncomfortable and it would ruin my whole day.

With a difficult bride,

Alex needs to ramp things up and learn a few new tricks

or this wedding could be bad, wheelie bad. Get it?

Go on, Alex. You can do it, my son.

I'm pretty clueless to what she wants.

We'll see. I'll just have to get it right.

I've got to rely on you and your mates

to plan the biggest day of my life.

THAT'S planning my wedding!

LAUGHTER

I'm really freaked out.

Kara likes Alex's fun side

but she doesn't want her wedding to be a joke.

I know that it could go disgustingly wrong.

Can he be serious enough to give himself a fighting chance?

If I get this wrong, she's going to go absolutely mad.

I think she's going to kick off at her friends and family,

whoever's around her. She'll kick off big-time.

It's time for the couple to say goodbye.

See you soon. Three weeks. It'll go quick.

-All right.

-Bye.

-Promise you won't mess up?

-Promise.

-I promise I won't kill you.

They won't see or speak to each other until their wedding day.

She probably will kick my head in if I mess up

but then again I think she has a little faith in me.

It's just going to be horrible.

With Roman at school for the day,

25-year-old Kara is moving back home with mum and younger sister Stacey

where she'll spend the next three weeks.

-What are you most nervous about?

-Just everything.

-You've got to have faith.

-He's not the best person with money

so I haven't really got much to go on.

Kara should be more worried about leaving Alex alone in her house

but he won't be alone for long.

-He's calling up his best men and old schoolmates Jack...

-Hello.

Jackie boy! It's on like Donkey Kong.

..and Gilbert.

-Yo.

-It's party time right now.

-Let's get it on.

Jack is a mechanic and tattoo artist.

Gilbert is a music producer and DJ.

When they all get together, it's the unholiest of trinities.

He's probably well excited that two of his friends are moving in.

Yeah, because he's never lived on his own.

He's probably like, "Argh! I've got my own house!"

It is mine. It's my house.

Yeah, but he will respect your house.

I know he won't mess it up or anything.

I'm worried about Jack.

This place is going to smell like a fucking brewery.

Gilbert is, like, good. He'll be all right. I think he'll be good.

-Let's do this. Let's plan a wedding.

-I just want to skate in the house.

HE BURPS

HE CRIES OUT AND LAUGHS

It's the next day and it's time for our big kids to get to work.

This has to be a blow-out. Take it to another level.

That no-one's ever seen before.

I want to try and do it like a summer fete.

# Summer time and the livin' is easy... #

Your spelling is horrendous.

THEY LAUGH

-Would Kara like that?

-She may do. But do we like that? Yeah, we do.

I don't know what he'll do.

I don't want him to go over the top. I don't want it to look tacky.

Let's get our thinking moustaches on.

There's just such a fine line and I'm really scared that he's going to cross it.

So we're going to do bouncy castles, rodeo bulls, coconut shies, the lot.

Less than 24 hours after moving out, just to rub it in,

Kara's back at work styling the hair of a bride who's got complete control of her wedding day.

I don't know how you feel confident enough

to let him plan your wedding at all.

I have no confidence.

Coming here has made me realise all these things

I know he's going to forget, and I'm trying to come to terms

with the fact that I'm not going to get what I want.

If it's down to them planning it, I'd be scared of what he'd do!

And so you should be, because after scribbling on the window...

12 Gs, man, we've got £12,000.

..the boys rush off to make their wedding party fantasies a reality.

MUSIC: "Wild Boys" by Hardcore Superstar

When he's with his friends he's...they just act like children.

They just think everything's funny

and I just want them to realise it's my wedding and it's not funny.

Well, it's quite funny.

And, like kids in a sweetshop,

the boys fritter away £500 on a bunch of inflatables.

Probably not the once-in-a-lifetime experience Kara's hoping for.

She's such a unique and uncompromising individual,

she wants to get married in a cave - obviously.

Oh, my God! You have no idea how much I love it.

This marriage might well be on the rocks before it's even started.

Nobody else would actually walk through a cave and get married.

Oh, I just want to get married here so bad!

-I'm going to cry.

-Oh, don't cry!

It's just actually stunning.

And it's so different.

I just love it here, because, I don't really like tradition.

I couldn't imagine you with the whole church, horse and carriage...

They're like my worst nightmare.

If I had a church and a manor house I'd be like, "Do you know me at all?"

Yeah, because any fool knows he should plan his wedding in a cave.

Except Alex,

who's come to the traditional setting of Lillibrooke Manor,

which has more than enough space to house his overgrown playpen.

This is our courtyard, cloister garden.

-This is amazing.

-It is brilliant.

You can actually get married there and your guests are on the lawn.

-Brilliant.

-Amazing. Absolutely amazing.

-This is really good.

It's just really important to me that he doesn't do traditional.

Yeah, but he knows how untraditional you are.

You don't do anything the way you should.

He could think getting married in a barn's not traditional.

So, this is the Great Barn.

This is a great barn, you're right.

Oh, no!

This barn has seen hundreds of weddings,

and it's absolutely ideal for a traditional start to the day.

And there's more.

It's massive.

We want to have a party sort of thing,

with a summer fete theme, so with bouncy castles

and rodeo bulls and inflatables, blah-blah-blah, the whole lot.

That's brilliant.

And in her underground chamber,

Kara is completely in the dark about Alex's choice of venue.

BOTH: I dooooo!

Nooooooo...

You don't.

Alex may be keen, but he still hasn't committed

to the £3,300 hire charge which would be the biggest because he's ever made.

You've got to see this place, this place is FRESH.

Alex is sold on the pitch for his inflatable playground,

but, as a man who doesn't even look after his own bank card, he's out of his depth.

So, it's up to best man Jack to seal the deal.

We were just hoping that we could knock you on a price.

What would you prefer?

Well, if we could just make it £3,000, then we'll shake your hand today and say yes.

Because it's late availability...

I know, that's another thing, as well, yeah.

-..I can give you a bit more discount.

-Really? That's brilliant.

Thank you very much. That's really good, I'm really...

LAUGHTER

Wahey!

Thank you!

Thank you so much!

ALL: Thank you!

At the end of day three,

Alex has spent £3,500 on a traditional wedding ceremony,

which couldn't be further from what his bride wants.

And it's not just the sheep who should be running scared.

He may have a massive venue to fill,

but rather than concentrating on wedding essentials,

the boys from Reading are in London to buy some games for their party.

This place is giving me the horn, man!

King of the castle, King of the castle!

And it's not long until the boys get carried away - again.

It's a bit smelly in here.

Ah! Get off! Get off!

'I just want everything, do you know what I mean?'

I want that, that'll be good. I want that, as well.

In the end, Alex splashes out on a tin can alley...

..a coconut shy...

..a game of hoopla...

..and a plethora of other toys to play with on his wedding day.

This wedding plan is going to be so easy.

-Do you know what you are?

-What?

-You're the donkey.

-Am I?!

By the time they stop assing around,

they're two grand worse off and halfway through the budget.

But he couldn't be happier.

MUSIC: "Jump Around" by House Of Pain

Jump around.

Jump around.

Jump up, jump up and get down!

Kara isn't the first bride in her family not to be in control of her wedding day.

When she was 16, she saw her mum walk down the aisle in a dress she hated

after the wedding was sprung on her during a family holiday.

I can't believe that I wore that.

You didn't have any choice in your dress, did you?

Obviously, when we went on holiday it wasn't a planned wedding trip, was it?

So, I had no dress, no make-up, no nothing.

so I had to make the best out of what was available.

-Pressure, you was under pressure.

-Yes, I was under big pressure.

Because everyone was there, as well.

I'd never have bought that dress back home in a million years.

It's like the say, don't they, "a picture never lies",

and I obviously was that sad.

I hope you don't ever feel like that.

That whole dress ruined your day.

How important is your dress in comparison with everything?

Massive. 90%.

If I don't feel like I look my best, I won't have a good time.

If you don't like the dress, you won't be happy.

So, your pictures might be like this, as well.

It starts to dawn on Kara that history could be repeating itself.

And as the first week draws to a close,

she's blissfully unaware that Alex is going to buy her wedding dress

and is taking a stinking hangover with him.

RAPPING: Went out last night, got in a mess,

today we've got to get a wedding dress.

Worse still, he's off to someone's house in the suburbs

that specialises in second hand dresses.

I'm coughin', I got glasses on but I'm not a boffin,

after the three weeks Kara's gonna put me in a coffin!

Maybe she'll bury you alive.

-Hello.

-Hello. I'm Alex.

-Hello, Alex, pleased to meet you.

Alex is about to make the most important purchase of his life

and he's surrounded by traditional looking dresses

for his very untraditional and picky bride.

-That one there with lace, or is she not a fan of lace?

-Um, I don't know.

Oh, they're just all the same, aren't they?

All the dresses are really nice,

but finding one for Kara is the hard one.

Cos she's short, man.

This is the biggest test of Alex's wedding planner credentials,

but can the boys stay serious long enough to find the perfect dress for his height-conscious bride?

We think we might have found the one for Kara.

-Definitely the right size.

-We won't need to take it in at all.

LAUGHTER

This one, this is ideal for her.

Just the right length and everything.

Oh dear, Alex, you might well be doomed.

I can imagine you walking down the aisle with this, mate.

Like you're standing at the altar.

HE HUMS WEDDING MARCH

There you go, it's Alex, hooray!

She's going to kill you.

I do - kiss it, kiss it.

-No!

-Imagine you haven't seen Kara in the over a week.

This is a coathanger form of Kara.

Have your little bit, say you love her, give her a little smooch.

Give her a kiss, man!

I'm not kissing a coat hanger!

Hello, Mummy!

Hello, Alex!

Meanwhile, in London, Kara's off to boutique wedding dressmaker Candy Anthony.

The frock of her dreams is a colourful 1950s-style prom dress -

the complete opposite of her mum's wedding day disaster.

# You and I'll go shopping and find exactly what we're looking for. #

I like that, as well.

Just perfect.

I'd never have got that.

I feel so sorry for Alex.

I just can't begin to imagine what he's going through.

I'm her sister, and even I hate buying her things for Christmas, birthdays...

Even as a youngster, I'd never let her open a Christmas present in front of somebody...

Cos she tells you straight, she's just like, "No."

If I struggled to buy her a dress for Christmas,

then Alex is going to struggle, big time.

Oh, my God. I'm actually welling up here!

Oh, you look really cute, yeah!

I love it.

Absolutely, it's just, you look like a woman.

I really like it, I really like it.

A little bit of colour, because I do like colour,

and I don't want a train, I want people to be able to see

my really expensive shoes that he's going to buy me, hopefully.

I don't even feel like I look short.

I think the reason you dress the way that you do

is because you are, deep down, self-conscious about yourself.

I wouldn't say I'm self-conscious about myself.

I'm self-conscious about my body, I've had a kid, do you know what I mean?

I know what suits my figure.

And I don't know if he does.

I'm really sad now.

I thought trying on my dream wedding dress is going to be amazing,

I'm going to love it, which makes it so much worse.

You look really angry. Chill out a little bit.

I'm just pissed off now.

I want people to be seeing my shoes.

But what Kara wants and what Alex is looking at are worlds apart.

I like the length in the trail.

You can't see her shoes, that'll be good.

-Yes, for sure, I like it.

-Would Kara like it?

I think she would.

I just don't want a long dress.

My worst nightmare, I would hate it.

I like it, I like it a lot.

-I think Kara would choose this dress, as well.

-Yeah, well I hope so.

She doesn't ever compromise - it's her way or no way.

She hasn't got a choice now, has she?

If you took this dress I don't think you'd regret it.

She'd just be really pissed off.

So, how much was this one?

It's priced at 1,200.

Oh, fff...

1,200.

She's not going to let him get away with it.

No, I think she'll bring it up every day. Every single day.

I'd pay a grand for it, I think.

I will do it for 1,000 including the alteration.

Yes, do it, I think.

Alex is now £1,000 lighter, has spent over £8,000 of his budget,

and Kara has a long, traditional, white wedding dress

with a trail to rival even her mum's.

-I hope she likes it then.

-Kara's going to be happy.

No doubt she'll be tripping over her train to thank you.

Despite not exactly acing the first two weeks,

Alex is going to let his hair down on his stag do.

And there was only ever one place it could start.

LOUD HAILER: He's going to do the next one,

he's off!

This day's over!

SCREAMING

For Kara's hen do, Alex has arranged for best man Jack

to whizz across town and chauffeur her to a mystery location.

Hello, sailor.

I'm your chauffeur this evening.

Here's a letter for you. Open and read now.

'Hey Babe, welcome to the start of your hen do.

'Be nice to your chauffeur. Have fun, love you so much.'

Shit, what am I doing?

I hate it that you know more than me.

The tattoo shop, we're going to the tattoo shop?

If I'm getting tattooed today and I haven't known about it...

I feel really unprepared.

Well, Kara, prepared to feel unprepared,

because Alex has organised for a very special tattoo

to be administered by Jack at his old workplace.

'To commemorate our special day, Jack is going to ink you up

'so you can remember our wedding date for ever.

'Love you millions.'

Oh, my God, I'm going to find out the day of the wedding?

You're going to find out the day of the wedding.

It's like the weirdest invitation I've ever had.

Hope I like it.

With just one week until the biggest day of her life,

Kara finally knows when she's getting hitched,

thanks to some Roman numerals on her leg.

Let's hope it's a day she'll want to remember.

-Meanwhile, at Cara's house...

-Drink it!

Alex is being put through his paces on his stag do.

Three! Four!

Lift it! Lift it! Lift it! LIFT IT!

Don't break anything now, boys.

CHEERING

Whilst the girls are out getting trashed.

Alex and a few mates are having a quiet night in at Kara's house.

MUSIC: "Let's Start A Riot by Three Days Grace

BOTTLES RATTLE AND MUSIC STOPS

MUSIC RESUMES

It's the day after Alex made the inspired decision to

have his stag do in Kara's house.

HE COUGHS

It's 9.37.

You've still got the Frisbee on!

I got really messed up.

Oh, and someone kept trying to finger my bum last night.

And speaking of a pain in the backside,

it's also the day he's going to buy some bridesmaids' dresses

and treat mother-in-law-to-be Anne to a frock as well.

I'm not excited about today, at all.

The hardest person to buy a dress for today is probably Anne,

because she's small, but her tits are massive.

Way to get in with the mother-in-law straight away.

Good lad.

With the alcohol fumes still evaporating from him,

Alex's sister and his in-laws are looming down on our green-looking groom.

-Hello.

-Hello.

-I bet you feel like shit.

-Yeah. Let's go and look at some dresses, then.

May the battle of the bridesmaids' dresses commence.

Going for a red. What about this one?

-It's a bit work-ish, though.

-Work-ish?

-Yeah, you could wear that to the office.

-You can try it on.

With Dutch courage still flowing through his veins,

-Alex makes an assertive start.

-It's going to take ages, I know it is.

I knew you'd have your trainers on.

Yeah, I think if there's something else on it, I think they'll look all right.

I'm trying to picture it without them trainers on.

-Has yours got that... that pointy thing?

-Yeah!

-It looks a bit like we've got massive nipples.

-Huh?

-Yeah, the nipples...

-No.

-Nah.

This is shocking.

Alex is losing his bottle...

I would prefer it to be red but if you can't find a red, then a blue.

..and his colour scheme has gone out of the window.

But at least he's found a dress for his mother-in-law.

I think this is quite a good shape.

With his hangover kicking in, he's going to have to rely on his boyish charm to see him through.

-What do you think?

-Dunno. A bit tight. I can see your bellies.

Oh, dear.

-What?! Insulting!

-I can't believe this.

I felt really fat before I even came out and then he just pointed it out.

OK, well, maybe you could lose some weight or something.

-No? All right, all right.

-Such a prick.

-What?!

-Such a prick.

-If we feel fat, we're not going to wear it.

-We're not going to wear it - you told us we look fat.

-I'm not saying you look fat.

-Alex, yes, you did.

-You did! You said, "I can see your stomachs."

I said, "I can see your belly."

-What?

-What are you trying to say, Alex?

-HE GROANS

-Do you want that?

-Not if we look obese.

-I didn't even say that, did I?

-Well...

-Yes, you look very nice.

-Do you like it, then? What do you think?

-I do like it.

What do you prefer? This one or the last one?

-This one. Better than the red one.

-Winner. So do you like that on?

-Yeah.

-Your tits look massive.

-I have massive boobs.

-Looks like you've got a loaf of bread in there!

-Alex!

He's narrowly avoided a lynching but Alex has been press-ganged

into spending almost double his £120 budget for the dresses.

Amazing.

Well, at least he has learned the most important lesson a man can ever learn.

Nah, you can't mess with the mother-in-law. She just smashed me out.

So far, Alex has managed to insult the bridesmaids,

pay £1,000 for the wrong dress,

and blow over three grand on the wrong type of venue.

Still, while we're throwing it around, why not keep going?

And spend £455 on suits...

and another £180 on bling...

before heading to the caterers to decide on a menu,

and with a conspicuous display of table manners,

forks out another £2,000 on grub for the guests.

With Alex fast approaching the 10 grand mark,

he can't resist splashing out on a little treat.

Thank you very much.

And as the brain freeze kicks in,

our three big kids have a totally awesome idea.

We were just wondering if you could help us out with a massive, massive favour?

I am getting married on Friday.

We were just wondering if you could maybe help us out

-by picking up the bride and taking her to the wedding.

-No problem.

-I'd be more than welcome to do that for you.

-Yes.

-Lifesaver.

And another £100 melts away.

Today, Kara's son Roman comes home for the first time

since she went away.

Alex is taking a day off planning

to get stuck into something that comes a bit more naturally.

No.

Why, did Mummy ask that?

Whoa!

Have you missed your bed? Have you missed me?

Let's do some painting. Yeah?

Remember when I told you I've got a good remembory?

-A good remembory?

-Yeah.

-It's called a good memory.

-Remembory.

-Good memory.

-Remembory.

-No, memory.

-Memory.

-Memory.

Yes.

I like chilling with you, because you make me laugh all the time.

-I know what makes you laugh.

-What?

HE SINGS

ALEX LAUGHS

I'm going to put your head in the paint.

-No, paint, please!

-Yes, please.

-No, no!

-Yeah.

'Jack and all my other friends, my close friends,

'they have been my friends for years and years and years and they're my past.

'And now Kara and Roman are my future,'

so...

Even though he's not my kid, but obviously I treat him like he is.

Do you know what I mean? Some people might say, "Oh, you've got a girlfriend with a kid,"

but again someone might say to someone,

"Well, you don't know how that is so you can't say anything."

'Ronan is a massive responsibility cos he's a five-year-old kid.

'To be like a male role model for him, living with him,'

is a great thing. Obviously the relationship me and Kara have

'started from when he was three - like, I'm not his dad,

'but I'm not trying to be his dad,'

But I'm there doing the things that any dad would do.

In the time that I've known you I don't think you've ever...

been as happy with anyone as you are with Alex.

He is the best thing that ever happened to me. You know, sometimes it seems too good to be true.

He is younger than me and I do appreciate, you know,

he took on me and Roman.

It's a lot.

But he's the first person I've ever met that we want the same future.

Even how I bring up Roman, he totally gets it.

I dunno, like, that's a massive thing,

to meet someone, like... We just agree on everything.

Straightaway, or after discussion?

The only thing after discussion is money, but, I mean, apart from that...

-Is that cos he's rubbish with it?

-Yeah.

-KARA LAUGHS

Right, so if you get your calculator out...

With only a few days till the wedding,

Alex is about to do his sums

to see if he's any better with money than when he started...

67.

..or if Kara's worst fears have come true.

So we've basically got £164 left.

What have we got left to do, then?

Shoes, underwear, flowers, decorations.

Alex's budget is in the doghouse.

Don't need underwear. Forget about undercrackers for Kara.

-So no underwear.

-Decorations - they're a vital.

-Yeah.

-We need decorations.

-And Kara's shoes. Fuck's sake.

Shoes...

for Kara.

-And we have £160.

-Mmm.

And for Kara, the shoes are even more important than the dress.

I just want some really expensive shoes.

Like, I think, "He's got 12 grand -

"the least he can do is buy me a decent pair of shoes."

Correction - he HAD 12 grand.

Alex needs a bargain, and quite possibly a miracle.

# I want to buy you something

# But I don't have any money Don't have any money

# Oh, oh, oh... #

I'll try and get some in the sale. That'd be good.

I think they'd be all right. We're going to be saving some money on this.

No-one looks at the shoes.

Ideally, I'd want an £800 pair of shoes.

Can you imagine if he just comes out with a normal pair of high street shoes?

Yeah, Jack!

-35.

-Yeah, boy.

-There's a few tiny little marks on them.

-A bit extra money off, Alex?

All right, I'm going to get these. Is there any chance - cos they've got little dents on them,

they're for my girlfriend for her wedding - I could get any money off?

-I'd be able to take 10% off.

-OK, that'd be brilliant.

-It'd make them non-refundable.

-That's cool, thank you.

Kara may dream of glamorous £800 designer footwear,

but Alex is so skint, he's spent £31.50

on a pair of bargain-basement, discounted, non-refundable, high street shoes...

-Thank you very much, cheers.

-..with dents in.

It's the day before our young groom's toy-town summer fete wedding,

-and the nerves are kicking in.

-It'll be a long day tomorrow.

It's just the setting up. That's the main thing - getting it all ready.

This whole three weeks is to show Kara how I love her

and how much she can rely on me in the end, you know.

She wants to, and I want to prove to her that she can.

So I just hope that... I hope that happens. I'm sure it will.

It's time for Kara to see if Alex has avoided

putting her through the same wedding dress disaster that her mum went through.

# It's all just a little bit of history repeating... #

I'm a bit more worried than I thought I would be, cos we're at a house,

not a shop. He knows what I like...

..so why would he bring me here?

I know how anxious you must be, Kara, cos I felt exactly the same.

On the day, yeah, I didn't feel great but it is a part of the day, that is it.

It's not just a small part. It's like a massive part.

If I don't feel comfortable or confident, then I'm just going to hate the whole day.

-Hello.

-ALL: Hiya.

-I'm sure you're anxious to see your dress, Kara.

-Yeah.

Kara wanted a colourful 1950s-inspired dress

that would show off the £800 shoes she's not getting.

The dress Alex chose is a long, long, long way off.

It's like a proper bride's dress.

I'd never have picked that dress in my life. Ever. Ever.

The dress isn't what she would pick,

so I'm hoping Alex has done well with her shoes and made it really different.

I'm more worried about the shoes than the dress, I think.

Before Kara sees herself, Mum and sister Stacey give their verdict.

I love it.

I really do like it.

How do you feel? Feeling upset?

-It's just so big.

-Yeah, but it's big because it's long as well.

Remember you've got no shoes on.

-It doesn't make much difference.

-It does.

It'll make a big difference, Kara, because you've probably got a foot on there what needs to be shortened.

You like it, then?

I'm excited now.

Stacey may be feeling the love, but what will Kara think

when she sees herself in the mirror for the first time?

Oh, shit.

No, I like it.

I think I look really pretty.

I do like it.

I think you're really lucky cos, even though you haven't got a choice,

-you actually do like it.

-I do like it a lot.

You look good in it.

I just feel, like, really grown up and...stuff.

Yeah, but maybe he just wants to be like that for one day.

To be grown up and to be a proper couple, a proper grown-up.

-Cos maybe he wants to...

-Take it seriously.

-Yeah, take it serious.

I just look like such a bride.

-It's a wedding.

-No, I know that.

I do love it, though.

-Yeah, which I'm glad about.

-Yeah, I don't hate it.

So our boyish groom has pulled off a grown-up gown for his bride,

who might just be more traditional than she realises.

But when it comes to the shoes...

Dorothy, I've a feeling you're not in Kansas any more.

-I'm not keen on the shoes.

-You're not keen? Why?

They're just not designer shoes.

-I don't...

-I think they look really cute.

-I don't think I want them.

And I really didn't want to be a...

They're not high enough for the front or the back.

There's no platform. They're quite mumsy, I think.

I just think they're shit.

Can we not call him?

-Come and sit down.

-They're horrible, Mum.

-Yeah, I would wear them.

-Exactly.

Oh, they're horrible.

I actually don't mind them.

You see, I'd wear them.

-Hi, Alex, it's Stacey.

-Hiya, Stace.

-Kara loves her dress, by the way.

-She loves her dress.

-Yeah.

The shoes, you've got to admit, they are a bit mamby, aren't they?

She wants me to take those ones back?

Yeah, she still wants them to be red,

just get ones with a bit more platform at the front.

-And I'm a size three.

-And she's a size three, not a size four.

I'll get her three.

But I don't want to get a three and it be too small.

If you get a three it might be too small.

Er, what does she want me to do?

Would you be able to get the shoes in a size three and a size four.

No. I haven't got enough money to be buying two pairs of shoes.

-He hasn't got enough money.

-Oh, fucking hell, I'm fucked off.

-What does she want, three or four?

-I don't know, Mum.

I think a three will be fine.

They'll probably be too small and then he's to go back again!

Is she saying go back in if they're too big or too small?

They're going to be too big, Mum.

I haven't got time to be going to town and back, town and back.

I've got other things to do.

He hasn't got time, he's got other things to do. He's stressing now.

Go for a three-and-a-half if he can get it.

Three-and-a-half if you can get it. If not, four and insoles.

-Yeah.

-And make sure you don't get it wrong.

-All right, then.

Bye. For fuck's sake.

-You're being a little bit...

-I'm not Stace.

A little bit, because he can't... He's already rushing around.

He's stressing at me on the phone.

You're saying buy two pairs of shoes which you don't have the money for.

He's under so much pressure. You don't know what he's got to do.

I just want to get out of the dress.

Can we take it off? Can we take it off?

I'll go and see if she's all right.

I just hope he can get something.

With Alex down to the bare bones of his budget,

he can only afford one pair of shoes, so he better get it right.

It's sunrise on the morning of the wedding.

It's your wedding day!

In a few hours Kara will find out if her 22-year-old groom

has taken a mature, considered approach to her big day.

Or, if he's just bought some toys and stuck 'em in a field.

It's twenty past six now. We've got to leave as soon as possible.

Get them to the venue, organise what we've got to do.

It's 9am and Alex has left it all to the last minute.

He's only got two hours to set up his entire wedding.

Even then he might still get a kicking,

if he's bought his bride the wrong shoes.

Back at her mum's, Kara's getting ready.

If there's one thing this hairstylist is especially concerned about, it's her hair.

Yeah, obviously, hair and make-up's the most important thing.

If you don't look good, you don't feel good and you have a crap day.

Listen, you trusted Alex in everything.

This is my job though.

Kara, it's fine.

I know it's really important to you but you trusted him

with your whole wedding.

He doesn't know about hair.

Kara, stop stressing.

If she doesn't like her hair it will ruin her day.

With the hair stylist about to start,

the pressure is starting to show.

Will I like what you're gonna do?

I think you will, yeah. Yes!

Mmm, she doesn't sound too sure.

The clock is ticking and there's a long way to go.

Alex's barn is bare and his inflatable summer fete looks limp.

Time is running out fast.

Come on, we've got to get it done and be dressed

and get the tables done. We haven't got a lot of time

and we've got to set up the tables as well.

So, let's get to it.

Meanwhile, the hairstylist's fingers are in a flurry

and Kara's day is about to be made or broken.

Dun-dun-dun!

-Is it what you're expecting?

-No.

-No?!

-Yeah, kind of.

-From what you were doing, but...

-No?

-Yeah, good hair.

With the bridesmaids ready to reveal their dresses,

let's hope Kara's nicer to them than Alex.

-Yeah, you all look really nice.

-Yay!

-You look really slim, all of you.

That's not what he said.

Where's the colour scheme, then? We've got red, blue, pink...

I don't really know.

Neither does Alex,

who has only got an hour and a quarter till Kara's due.

And he's a long way off.

It's just because, you know, we was running an hour late.

So, that's put us back a bit.

But, you know, we're just trying to get it done.

THEY LAUGH

Right, come on. Let's go.

It's almost time for Kara to leave.

But does she like her new shoes?

SCREAMING AND SHOUTING

-Oh, beautiful! Beautiful!

-I can't believe he chose them!

THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER

Her shoes, wait for 'em!

LAUGHTER AND SHOUTING

-Yeah! Look at that!

-The shoes...!

You should've seen the shoes he bought me before. They were horrible!

Listen, that's all he's got wrong.

What a difference a bow makes.

Bouncy castle round here

and then the Bucking Bronco I think near there for the riders.

Kara may be ready to go, but Alex still has a lot to do,

and at this rate, he's sure to smell extra fragrant at the altar.

-Right, Kara's getting picked up in 20 minutes.

-Don't worry about her, mate!

Kara's smiling so far,

but will her novelty transport receive an icy reception?

-I hope it's not a horse and carriage.

-That would be awful.

No way!

LAUGHTER

-I'm going in an ice cream van?!

-Yeah!

-You just need to focus on it.

OK...

-Couldn't have put a bow on it?

-Oh!

At the barn, our motley crew of skaters have scrubbed up

rather well.

-She's left. Let's go.

-We've got to get it sorted.

And Jack's remembered the rings.

Even if he does nearly drop them in the gutter.

Down the drain! Imagine that!

The excitement that I have seeing Alex has just overtaken everything.

I'm not even thinking about anything else, really, apart from seeing him.

-You're ruining it!

-I'm not ruining it!

First time I've got a clue where the hell I'm going.

I just want to, like, I just want to ask someone

all these questions and no one knows. It's, like, so frustrating.

She may have loved her quirky transport,

but will the courtyard ceremony suit Kara's non-traditional tastes?

PLAYS "Wonderwall" by Oasis

Oh my God!

(Where's Alex?)

Oh look, he's crying!

Oh, don't cry!

-(I missed you.)

-Me too.

-Don't cry.

-You look lovely.

-So do you.

(Oh my God, we're going to get married!)

-Do you like it?

-(I love it!)

May I first ask, who gives this woman to be married to this man?

-Say "I do".

-I do.

-Alex, do you take Kara to be your wife?

-I do.

No, you've got to promise a few more things first!

LAUGHTER

Do you promise to love her, and to cherish her,

and to remain true to her, for the rest of your lives together?

I do.

Kara, do you take Alex to be your husband, do you promise to love him

and to cherish him, for the rest of your lives together?

I do.

Roman, can I ask you to step forward and give Alex the ring, please?

Thank you. Give me a kiss.

(Love you.)

Oh, that's so cute!

I, Alexander, take you, Kara, to be my wedded wife.

I, Kara, take you, Alexander, to be my wedded husband.

It's now my pleasure to announce

that you are lawfully husband and wife.

APPLAUSE

Feels so good to see you, it feels like it's been years.

I know, it feels like ages.

This is the start of our life together, married.

-You've done so much better than I thought you would.

-That's good.

-It's absolutely perfect.

-It's only just started.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And so, after three weeks of kidding around,

Alex has proven that he can be a grown-up after all.

-But he's still a big kid at heart.

-Smell 'em.

-I can't believe they've fags on!

He's just a grown-up who really likes to have fun,

which is exactly why Kara loves him.

-This is way good.

-Yes.

I love it.

I don't want to lose him, he's my brother,

but I'm not losing a brother, I'm gaining a sister, and Roman.

I've added two more wolves to my wolfpack, so my wolfpack is now complete.

It's so important that everyone's here today...

What?

I just hope you all like it just as much as I planned everyone to.

< We love it!

You've done really well!

APPLAUSE AND WHISTLING

The emotion is running high for Alex, and hopefully,

Kara will be wowed by her wedding day Wonderland.

-Oh my God!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Oh, my God!

-Right, let's go for it.

-What, to play?

Yeah, do what you want!

What's that?

This is mental! I wouldn't have thought of doing this, but I love it.

Oh, I just want to see everything, I'm just like, ooh!

I don't think she would have thought of this at all,

and I don't think she could have done a better job, but don't tell her I told you that!

Everything's been amazing. Really proud of you. I didn't expect that.

-Like, at all.

-That's a good thing, then.

-Yeah, you did so good.

I love both of 'em, and I'm really glad that Roman's got a good role model around him in Alex.

Alex!

-I'm just really looking forward to the future now.

-Cos this is day one, really.

This is another step closer for us three to be more of a family together.

It's the first stage of moving up.

MUSIC: "You And Me Song" by the Wannadies

Next time, ex-footballer Steve wants to give his wannabe-WAG Kayleigh...

Proper, proper, shut up!

-..the ride of her life.

-...say "I do", and then, boom!

-But will his romantic idea...

-Why the hell are we at Thorpe Park on my wedding day?

..derail the entire wedding?

I know whatever I pick will be wrong.

Will this ex-footballer give this one wannabe-WAG the wedding of her nightmares?

SHE SOBS I don't want to go!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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