Rian and Matt Don't Tell the Bride

-I'll make a wish.

-Every girl dreams of her wedding.

-I want to be her, now.

-But what happens when she has no say

on her big day?

-Don't Tell The Bride is back.

-This is all for the name of love.

12 gallant grooms are taking control.

-(SCREAMS)

-With 12 grand apiece.

-Give it to me!

-And just three weeks to organise a wedding.

-An absolute idiot.

-They're more daring...

-Why are we here?

-..more ambitious...

-Why has he done this?

..and more outrageous than ever before.

-It's not a joke.

-(GROANS)

-Will the glass slipper fit?

-Oh, my word.

-Hell, no.

-Will true love conquer all?

-Horrid, horrid, horrid.

Oh, my God. It's going to be on the beach.

CHEERING

And will there be a fairy-tale ending?

-I don't like it!

-(SCREAMS)

-Is it the right ring?

-Turn that camera off.

-Or just a damsel in distress?

-Wishes do come true.

-Sometimes they don't.

Tonight, hopeless romantic Matt plans a nostalgic wedding...

She must trust me if she lets me do this, eh?

..for his Valley VIP girl, Rian.

I deserve it, Matt! Give it to me!

While she craves a wedding fit for a WAG...

-All eyes on Rian.

-Yes!

..he's planning a sentimental trip down memory lane.

It's a doddle, this planning a wedding lark, isn't it?

But will Matt's gamble on a week-long stag...

We're expecting gambling, drinking and possibly a divorce.

-..and a Welsh wedding outdoors...

-This is nice, Matt.

..turn his beer festival into a barrel of laughs...

I should have sorted this out earlier.

..or a total wash-out?

-It could be outside.

-And we're in wet Wales.

-Can this sentimental groom...

-Too late now to back out.

..give his high-flying bride...

If I don't like it, I'm not wearing it. Simple.

..the wedding of her dreams?

Oh, my goodness! Is the burger a clue?

-I don't envy him, doing this task.

-Imagine it's Matt's head.

Arrgh!

High-flying sales rep Rian first met laid-back Matt ten years ago

in their home town of Abergavenny.

I was 16 and Rian was 20.

Yes. I'm a cougar.

And this cougar pounced.

We saw each other for a couple of months

and that's as far as it went.

And then not long after I moved up to Birmingham.

The budding romance fizzled out when ambitious Rian felt the pull of the big city.

I needed to make something of myself because I knew I liked nice things.

Career girl Rian set off in search of nice things,

leaving the Valleys and Matt behind.

-Cheers.

-Until eight years later.

I was at the beer festival with the boys, having a few beers,

then Rian walked in and we bumped into each other again.

We just clicked. We started talking and we haven't gone for a day without speaking since.

-So how did Matt woo back a girl...

-Thank you.

..who likes the finer things in life?

Our first date was at a car-boot sale at a burger van.

You want a bite? 'Rian had a cheeseburger and I had a sausage and egg bap.'

But it doesn't seem to have put Rian off.

They've been together for two years now.

Our relationship has moved pretty quickly.

It had to because I gave up my life to move back,

-so we weren't going to do that for no reason.

-No.

We bought a house a year later and here we are now

on the verge of getting married.

Sales manager Rian clearly knows what she likes

and what she likes about her job are the perks.

I've always had nice cars.

That's always been important to me. It's a status symbol.

Care worker Matt is less concerned with image.

Matt has got a terrible car that I'm ashamed to go around in.

I don't want people to think, "Oh, she's gone downhill."

It doesn't really bother me what other people think - not at all.

-It really bothers me.

-It bothers you.

It's about keeping up with the Joneses.

No, don't like that.

Rian's very specific about what she wants and what she likes.

He finds it really difficult to make a decision of his own accord

and he's constantly asking me for approval or confirmation.

It's easier to just ask her than do something she's not going to be happy with.

Lovely. I am a little bit of a control freak,

if the truth be told.

If we relied on Matt to organise anything,

we wouldn't have done one thing since we got together -

not a meal, not a trip out, not a holiday.

-When was the last time...?

-I don't know, mind.

I don't organise things very often but when we went to Mexico...

-What? We both went into a shop and booked it together.

-Yeah. I suppose.

And this controlling cougar knows exactly what her wedding should be like.

The type of wedding I would like is something that's really feminine.

An absolutely amazing venue -

Valleys but it's got to have an exclusive edge as well.

I don't want to get married outside. The Welsh weather is very, very temperamental.

Definitely important to me at my wedding is lavish

and people talking about it for the right reasons.

I'd like to get at least five years' gossip out of it.

So lavish, then. But what's Matt's master plan?

The sort of route I want to take with the wedding

is going back to when me and Rian first met

at the beer festival.

SHE LAUGHS

Bring the Welsh countryside into it.

A romantic stroll down memory lane, potentially.

And I want to see if Rian can remember some of the stuff we've done.

If she can't remember, then I can turn around and say to her,

"Actually, you're the one who's not so thoughtful.

"You can't remember but I can."

This could sort of be "in your face", kind of thing.

But organising a wedding isn't the only new responsibility that Matt is facing.

We've discovered that we're expecting a baby.

He got lucky at the engagement party and that's when it happened.

-Or you got lucky, maybe! Who knows?

-Maybe.

And Rian's pregnancy has spurred Matt into action.

I want to be married to her as soon as I can.

I don't want to be leaving it years and having a baby

and thinking, "We'll do it this year, we'll do it next year," and it not ever happening.

It would be nice to be married before the baby came,

so that we all had the same names.

If Matt messes this up, I will be really cross.

If I don't think he's tried, I will be really upset.

It will make me wonder whether he was the right person for me to marry in the first place.

The stakes are high but what about Matt's confidence?

-Do you think you're going to get everything right?

-Probably not.

-But...

-Oh!

-I'm not going to get everything right, am I?

-You could try.

-But I'm not going to worry about it.

Don't go in there with that attitude.

I'm going to go in there and do the best job that I can.

-Don't worry.

-The right job.

-The right job.

-I'm worried.

I'm more worried about not seeing Rian.

That's going to be the hardest thing.

You won't be seeing me after if you get it wrong.

# Every little thing Every little thing... #

-So I've got to zip this up, have I?

-Yes, please.

Get on top of it.

It's time for the couple to say goodbye.

-I love you.

-Love you.

-I'm going to miss you.

-Miss you.

The next time they meet will be on their wedding day in three weeks.

# The old home town looks the same

# As I step down from the train

# And there to meet me is... #

Rian is going to be staying a few miles up the road at her aunt's house.

Hello, lovely? All right? Are you all right?

-Yeah!

-Whee!

-Hey!

For the next three weeks, she'll be living with her younger sister Jess,

Auntie Andrea, her husband Chris and cousin Greg.

-Do you want a cuppa?

-Yes, please.

-Who's he having as best man?

-Two!

-Two.

-He's having Dan and Scott.

-So they won't let him...?

-No, they're worse than Matt..

Honestly, together, they're like three clowns.

What will you do if they have random girls up at the house?

They won't. I've already told Matt there's no way there's any girls in the house.

-Cheers.

-But did anyone tell the best men?

Old school friends Scott and Dan have arrived just in time...

-To the next three weeks, boys.

-Cheers.

-Cheers.

..to help Matt book his stag do, of course.

We're looking at Las Vegas. Have we got any cheap deals?

Matt's decided to blow a chunk of the budget on a dream trip to where else but Las Vegas.

How long are you planning on going for?

You've got to do at least four nights.

-What?

-That's two grand per person.

-That's half the budget.

-That's fine.

-Doable, isn't it?

-No. It's not happening.

-We'll find a cheap deal.

-Do you realise what you sound like?

-Shut up!

This is the last time we'll go away together.

-So I'll just spend six grand on you two clowns coming to Las Vegas?

-Yeah!

-You've got to prioritise.

-The sooner your realise this is more about us than you, Matt, the better.

-I've already realised.

-Total price for three of us...

-£2,200.

Shall we book online now?

-Yeah.

-Book it.

-Book it?

-Book it.

-Are you ready?

-Just do it before I change my mind.

-Booked.

-She's going to kill me.

-I don't care.

-She is going to kill me now.

So instead of the usual twelve grand and three weeks to plan a wedding,

Matt has given himself just ten grand and two weeks.

That's it. I've booked my stag do.

We've spent £2,200 on a stag do, Las Vegas,

and I haven't booked anything else.

MALEVOICE CHOIR SINGS

With a week till Vegas, the lads need to find a wedding venue fast.

Mushy Matt's plan for the big day is a sentimental trip down memory lane

and as he met Rian at a beer festival,

his first stop is a cider farm,

miles from anywhere, 1,000 feet up in the Welsh hills.

-Hello.

-Hiya. Are you all right? Nice to meet you.

We just want to see what the venue offers.

This here's the cider bar, which is pretty rustic, as you can see.

This is what we're looking for. We met at a festival, so we're going down that sort of road.

-Hopefully the weather will be a bit better.

-Yeah.

What we normally do is put a marquee up.

-This is normally in the summer, of course.

-Yeah, yeah.

We are 1,000 feet up here, so it's normally a couple of degrees...

A bit colder, yeah.

It would be perfect if it wasn't in such an out-of-the-way location.

It's too far out of the way for everything.

-I think he's panicking.

-I don't think he's realised what he's let himself in for.

Backing out on our trip to Vegas, I think he would be but...

He's not backing out on no trip to Vegas.

It's a lot more work than I thought it would be, yeah, definitely.

Good luck to me.

So while Matt looks for a romantic outdoorsy venue,

back indoors his high-flying bride is already fearing the worst.

So what are you worrying about the most?

I'm worried about it all, to be honest.

There's not one part of it that I'm confident that he will definitely get right.

-No?

-I'm worried that it's going to be outside

and that the weather's going to be terrible.

He needs to make sure that he's sorted out somewhere

that it doesn't matter whether it's raining or not, especially in the winter.

Ruling out the cider farm as too remote,

Matt still needs to nail down a venue before leaving for Vegas.

Yeah, it looks lovely.

So next stop, the more accessible Usk Castle.

-Hiya. Nice to meet you. I'm Matt.

-Hi, Matt.

-Thanks for showing us round.

-I'm Dan.

We're looking for somewhere that's got plenty of outside space

and obviously, an inside part of the venue where we can get creative ourself.

Right, let's go and have a look at the barn.

Matt wants a rustic, indoor space for the ceremony

with room outside for his beer festival.

Wow. This is really nice.

Trouble is, it's always falling down.

-Sorry about the stuff but it's in its winter clothes at the moment.

-It's lovely.

I think this is the sort of place where you could make it really nice.

I'm not pretending it's a tidy barn. It's a country barn.

-You do what you like with it.

-The look of it is obviously perfect.

I've never seen anyone get married anywhere like this.

-We could make it good, couldn't we?

-It's my favourite.

-We like it. Will she like it?

Whilst Matt's getting inspired by a barn,

Rian's arrived at the venue that she would have chosen

if she was in charge - Peterstone Court -

along with her sister, aunt and cousin.

Oh! This is lovely.

-Oh, wow.

-Oh!

-Look at the chandeliers.

I love it. The table dressings - it's so feminine.

It's beautiful.

I love the candles and the flowers. It's just what I wanted.

You know, it's just me. It's classy. It's lovely.

-And I don't think Matt's going to choose it.

-LAUGHTER

She knows her man so well.

Matt's vision is taking shape in a cold, dark barn

in the middle of a field.

-Would there be any way we could sort of cover up this for the people to walk on?

-You could.

-But then it looks a bit wedding venue, which is what we're trying to avoid, isn't it?

-Yeah.

It's better if people realise that you can't do heels.

It's an outdoor event, it's on grass.

No heels for Rian, then. Flat shoes.

# Mud, mud, glorious mud

# Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood. #

-This is your wow factor.

-Oh, this is nice, Matt.

-This is what we've been looking for.

-We could get a vehicle up here - a burger van.

Mm. Maybe some Morris dancers.

When we met there was Morris dancers at the festival, so...

-To Mr and Mrs Stephens.

-Yay!

Got the exclusive, VIP, classy edge - like me, eh?

-It's special.

-Really special.

-Valley girl with a little bit of an edge.

-Really special.

I know you want the WAG lifestyle but Matt isn't a footballer, is he?

What sort of money are we looking at? Because this idiot's just gone and spent two grand on a stag do.

-Stop saying that.

-And we're on a budget.

-Jesus.

The venue costs £2,200 for 100 people.

I deserve it, Matt! Give it to me!

DESPERATE LAUGHTER

I know it won't be like this. I already feel disappointed.

If he's the person I think he is,

then he will want to give me everything that I want

or at least try to give me everything I want.

He can picture it here but he doesn't think he can afford it.

So booking Vegas for two grand was not a bright idea, really.

-It was a hell of a good idea.

-For him - for him it wasn't.

-It was.

-Really?

-Yeah.

It's crucial that we get everything done this week before next Monday

because we're not going to have long when we get back.

Back at the house, the lads do a few sums

and figure out they can just about afford Usk Castle.

OK, thanks, Rosie. Thank you very much. Bye. Bye.

-Yes, Matthew!

-We've got a venue, boys.

Yes!

We might not have enough money to get anything there but...

Oh! Watch my hair. I haven't even done it today.

I'm so relieved it's unbelievable. I feel like it's my wedding now.

So the venue's booked and it's a good job, too,

because cougar Rian's out having her nails sharpened.

-So is he the romantic type?

-No.

-No?

-He's never done anything romantic for me.

Actually, sometimes he sends me flowers if he's done something bad.

-That's guilty conscience.

-Yeah, it's guilt.

So maybe I should have loads of flowers after the wedding.

-I think he'll be a typical man and have what he likes.

-Yeah.

Rian might be surprised how thoughtful Matt is.

He's had another romantic idea and this one's a whopper.

-..sausage and egg sandwiches, please?

-Of course you can.

Also, I'm getting married and the first date I had with my girlfriend was at a burger van.

Old romantic, see?

So what I want at the ceremony when she turns up and gets out the car

is a burger van sort of parked outside the venue.

-No problem.

-Thank you very much. Happy with that, boys?

Well happy. I'd be happy with a sausage and egg sandwich, as well.

Thank you.

Matt's spent nearly half his budget with just an outdoor venue, a burger van

and a dream stag do in Las Vegas to show for it.

HORN BEEPS

So what we're after, mate, is some hay bales. Got any about?

Plenty, mate, plenty.

And with Vegas just four days away, he's got time and money against him.

Lilies, obviously, are all the same, aren't they?

-You can get different colours.

-Can you?

-You can get pink,

yellow, white...

Boys, none of this. This is a respectable establishment!

Calla lilies, tiger lilies, Oriental lilies.

Give it a little step.

At least he's saving some dosh

by getting his mates to recreate the beer festival's Morris dancers.

You all span the wrong way!

Vegas may be looming but before he leaves the country,

Matt has one very important purchase to make.

Basically, we've come here to find a wedding dress for my bride to be.

-OK. Lovely.

-Upstairs, then.

I'm feeling nervous about buying a dress.

I felt all right this morning but now I'm here, I'm...

It's probably the most important part of the wedding, so...

I'm scared.

HE SIGHS

Oh, Jesus.

-Right, then.

-Where do you start, Matt?

I haven't got a clue.

I like that, though. That's nice, isn't it?

My girlfriend's pregnant, so I need to get something sort of...

covering up the belly. I haven't got a clue.

If she wasn't pregnant, she'd like something really slim fitted, wouldn't she?

She's usually in good shape, isn't she?

-She's not in good shape now.

-LAUGHTER

I'm sorry. Well, let's face the facts.

Well, when she's pregnant, she's not going to be, is she?

That's my child you're talking about.

Across town, material girl Rian is fantasising about the dress she'd choose.

-I like that one.

-Is there a particular dress that you wouldn't want?

Something that wasn't flattering. I don't want it to have straps, either.

-You want the wow factor.

-Yeah, wow factor.

-All eyes on Rian.

-Yes!

-Oh, wow!

-THEY GASP

Oh, you look beautiful.

With the pregnancy in mind, Rian's trying on a dress that will disguise her emerging bump.

It looks beautiful.

I know!

Yeah. It's beautiful.

I didn't think I would like this. I wouldn't have thought of this.

-I love my shoes.

-Ooh, they're lovely!

I'm thinking, what is he going to choose for you?

-I just hope it compares to that.

-Yeah. It had better.

Rian's looking at big without straps

but Matt's eyeing up something slightly sleeker

and it's not strapless.

I'm trying to imagine her in it now, you know.

I think she'd like it.

-It's got no back on it.

-Yeah.

-That'd be half price.

I think she'd probably like the back of that, you know.

You could turn it round and stick her bump out the...

Matt is struggling to make a decision.

I don't like it as much as the last one.

But he does know that he wants something to hide the baby bump.

Because she's pregnant, it's a bit difficult.

If she wasn't, she would like something really tight.

-So the dresses get bigger...

-I do like that.

-..and bigger...

-I do like that.

-..and even bigger.

I prefer that one. It's going to be a nightmare, carrying that around.

-You're not going to be carrying it.

-Who is going to carry it, Matt?

Someone's will go to the toilet with her. That's what the bridesmaids do.

-She won't fit in a toilet.

-Have you ever been to a wedding?

-Yes!

-On a serious note.

-But not one in a field.

-But when...

-In the winter. In Wales.

Oh, I tell you what, if he picks a straight one, that would be beautiful.

-That seems more you.

-That is you.

Before the pregnancy, Rian had always wanted a sleek fish-tail number.

I wanted one like this but I didn't envisage the pleats on it

but the pleats are what covers my stomach.

And with this dress, she realises it is possible.

I don't think Matt will go for anything tight, though.

What shoes have you got on with those?

-The high ones, is it?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Might be better of with a pair of wellies for Matt's muddy venue.

I need a bit of height, otherwise I'm going to look stumpy.

-Watch now.

-SHOES CLATTER

-Oh, no.

-Yeah, you need the height.

-Yeah. It's ridiculous.

-It's all about the bride.

-It's all about the bride.

But with Rian now set on her sleek, fitted number,

Matt's only got eyes for something big and bouffant.

Yeah, that's the dress I'm going to get for her.

-That's the one.

-End of. How much is that one?

This one's 995 but it is our sample.

So you're saying we might be able to negotiate on the price, slightly?

Yeah, we can do that, yeah.

-That's the one.

-That is really nice.

And as a sample dress, Matt picks up a bargain

at a £1,000 with veil and tiara thrown in.

If we didn't go to Vegas, we haven't at all cut costs on the dress, have we?

-No.

-Either way, we would have had that dress.

-Probably.

-Because now we haven't got much money left at all.

-Got to have the stag do, got to have a dress.

-Yeah.

The day before leaving for Vegas and Matt's on the hunt for some last-minute wedding essentials.

In keeping with the place he and Rian had their first date,

he's picking out a few table decorations

at a car boot sale.

-£2.

-Deal. First deal of the day. Thank you.

They're steins from the Belgian beer festival.

Oh, yes!

-Today's going to be a good day.

-Thank you, mate, cheers.

-Four of these for dancing with.

-Nice.

Matt blows 45 quid on a load of old jugs...

I mean, tasteful centrepieces.

It's a doddle, this planning a wedding lark, isn't it?

Look at them!

-Ah, good luck, sweetheart.

-Thank you very much.

-You need trust in a marriage.

-Yeah!

-That's the main thing.

-Exactly.

Well, she must trust me if she lets me do this, eh?

LAUGHTER So that's a good start, isn't it?

-Ta-ra.

-Thank you.

-Bye.

But would she still trust him if she knew he was heading to Vegas for a week?

-Boxers.

-Matt's getting married in less than two weeks.

He still has to sort out shoes, bridesmaids' dresses

and invite some people to his wedding.

But, hey - it's Vegas time, baby!

First time in America, first time in Vegas.

I'm expecting a bollocking when I go home off Rian.

That's what I'm expecting.

Possibly a divorce.

# Viva, Las Vegas... #

The boys get stuck in at the home of gambling, girls and 24-hour gratification.

# Viva, viva...

-Some drinks!

-# Viva! #

The sun rises on a new Nevada day.

A long way from wet Wales.

We're trying to just forget about the wedding.

I think we've been stressed out for a week.

I think a week's enough for anyone, never mind three, so...

-I think this week out is brilliant.

-Just chill out, have some fun.

Matt's quite literally having a blast.

It's a dream stag do. I've just got to try and enjoy it now with the boys as much as I can

and worry about the wedding when I get back.

Back in Wales, Rian hasn't a clue what Matt's doing

and with nine days to go, she's no idea when or where her wedding is, either.

I haven't slept one full night since this whole process began

and that's not like me at all.

Usually I sleep eight hours straight.

-It's the unknowing, isn't it?

-Mm-hm. It's the not knowing.

And it's the wanting to know, as well.

Would you find it easier if you did have a little bit of information?

Erm, it depends what the information was.

-It all depends.

-You'd like to know the day of the wedding.

I'd like to know the day, where it was - I'd like to know everything.

I literally know nothing.

# Everybody was kung fu fighting

-# Those cats were fast as lightning

-Stop messing about now!

In the shower!

While Matt and the boys let it all hang on out on the stag...

Hmm. His car's not there.

..oblivious, Rian's sister Jess decides to quiz Matt

to see if she can find out when the wedding might be.

What's been happening here?

The rubbish hasn't been collected.

Dishes haven't been washed.

There's empty bottles of squash and rubbish all around.

He's obviously not in.

-'It's not been possible to connect your call.'

-It's off.

SHE SIGHS

I've tried ringing Scott, to find out where they are

and get a little bit of information, so coming down here wasn't a complete waste of time

but his phone's off.

# Who's getting married in the morning?

-# Ding-dong the bells are going to chime... #

-We're going downtown.

Whilst the stags live it up for a third night in a row...

Jess reports back to Rian.

-Hey.

-Hey.

-What did you find out?

-Nothing. I wish I hadn't gone down there. It was a waste of time.

-Why?

-Nobody was in.

-Mm?

-At Rian's?

-Yeah. Nobody was there. The curtains were closed in the living room

and the upstairs bedroom.

-The curtains were closed?

-Yeah. So I snuck up around the back.

There's a pile of black bags, obviously haven't been collected.

-I looked in the kitchen.

-Since Monday night, that is.

-Right.

-So is that your collection?

-What's the bin day?

-Tuesday morning.

Something's happening. I expect he's on his stag weekend, isn't he?

I tried ringing Scott. No answer. I tried him a few times.

-Well, he's away, isn't he?

-It wasn't ringing at all, was it?

It said, "I'm sorry, cannot connect you."

-So they could be abroad.

-They're abroad, I'd say.

-They're abroad.

-That's what's happened

and they've been away since Monday at least, because the bins are there.

-Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.

-Mm-hm.

-For a stag?

-Mm.

Mm.

My husband to be, who's planning my wedding, the most special day of my life,

is on a week-long holiday with his friends

on our money.

I wish I didn't know that.

# I'd do it anyway

# Cos there's nothing left for us to say... #

After another heavy night in Vegas,

Matt may be finally waking up to the fact he has a wedding to plan.

We shouldn't have booked so long in Vegas, really.

It was stupid, when you think about it.

We shouldn't have come to Vegas at all.

I mean, it's pretty stressful. You can't forget about it.

You can't just forget that you've got to plan a wedding.

But there we are.

A bit late now to say you shouldn't have come to Vegas

because it's screwed me over for time but it's done now, isn't it?

The guilty groom decides to interrupt his stag to return to the job at hand.

So would they both be the same, exactly the same,

or would the woman's one be slightly thinner or...?

-They'll be the same.

-They'll be the same.

-Mm-hm.

Yeah, it's not a...

-Some of these rings really look masculine.

-Yeah, yeah.

And this will actually go good for both.

-I do like them.

-I think they're nice.

-Mm-hm.

Like you said, it's not too masculine, it's not too feminine and they're both matching.

He spends £125 on matching his and hers rings,

leaving him about £355 of his twelve grand budget.

-He loves a bargain, doesn't he?

-Yeah.

-He does love a bargain.

He's Money-maker Matt, that's what I call him.

Come on, Sam.

Money-maker Matt has found a great place to make a saving - the hen do.

Oh, you're in the gutter!

Yes, he really has sent them to mini golf.

Matt's getting it when I see him.

I don't think this is a good send-off for Rian's hen do.

-It's nothing like what Rian would like.

-I'm bored of it now.

-Arrgh!

-Oh, God!

This is not what I want to do at all. At all.

-I don't think you could get much cheaper than this.

-No.

Rian, just think it's Matt's head you're knocking!

-Uhh! Uhhh!

-LAUGHTER

It's the lads' last night in Vegas.

And they're making the most of it.

On its own, number five.

Four and two, forty-two.

But, of course, Matt hasn't just sent the girls to mini golf.

No, he's sent them to bingo, too.

Six and nine, sixty-nine.

WHOOPING

CALLER: I should have seen that coming. Ooh, you are awful.

-This is how I always imagined spending your hen night.

-I know!

Four-oh, 40. Five and six, 56.

-This is not good for my rage.

-This is stressing me out.

-Shhh!

-Matthew Stephens...

-You're dead.

-Yeah.

Matt may not be popular with the ladies in Wales...

DANCE MUSIC

..but in Vegas...

he's Mister Popular.

We're in like the best seats in the Bellagio.

Everybody around us is probably millionaires, we're nobodies from Abergavenny.

CHEERING

Eight and two, eighty-two.

Seven-oh, seventy.

One-eight, eighteen.

-Five and one, fifty-one. Eight and four, eighty-four.

-House!

GROANING Ladies in the front row, please, can we have it nice and quiet?

-You don't need to repeat the numbers as I call them.

-I keep telling you.

Oh, my God. This is the worst hen do ever.

-What the hell was Matt thinking?

-I know.

The girls have had all the fun they can handle for one night.

A jet-lagged, hung-over Matt is finally back in Wales

after his extended stag do.

I'm feeling pretty tired.

We've got about four days left - well, four nights left, anyway.

Er...

With time running out, he still has to set up his outdoor wedding venue,

buy Rian some suitable shoes, deliver the invites

and buy six bridesmaids' dresses.

Where are the dresses, then?

All with only 355 quid.

Trying to look for something nice and cheap.

That'll do, won't it? HE CHUCKLES

This is more nerve-wracking than getting the wedding dress

because there's a number of them to lynch me if I get it wrong.

Cousin Ffion and sister Jess arrive with two other bridesmaids

to see what Matt has chosen.

-Hi!

-All right?

-Are you OK?

-I'm a bit tired.

-Oh, are you?

-Have you got a colour?

-Is there a theme, a colour?

-Not really.

You're just going to have to try them on and see what we think.

And don't give me a hard time because I've had a stressful time.

We won't.

-It's too close to white.

-It'll be all right.

You'll have to accessorize around it.

-I like the dress but I'm concerned...

-That it's the same colour.

It's the same colour as her wedding dress.

I wouldn't want to be a bride and my bridesmaids in this colour.

How are we doing?

-So where did you go on you stag do?

-I haven't had one.

You haven't had one?

-No.

-So you really haven't had a stag do?

Nah.

-It's a nice dress. It's just the colour that concerns me.

-Yeah.

I need a drink.

Of water. Not beer. I've had enough beer.

-What do you think?

-They're all right.

-Not bad.

-I reckon I've done good.

-I like the dress.

It's a shape that'll suit us all. We've got to think of the two Hannahs.

-I'm really impressed with you, Matt.

-Yeah! To be honest, yeah.

-Thanks.

You are sweet!

120 quid for six bridesmaids' dresses.

Can't grumble at that, can you?

-Thanks, girls. See you later.

-See you later.

-Ta-ra.

See you later.

That was easy.

Not.

A few hours later, the girls report back to Rian.

We went to Cwmbran today, shopping, to get our bridesmaids' outfits.

-And you saw Matt?

-We saw Matt.

-How did he look?

-Shattered.

-A bit stressed.

-Exhausted.

-Really?

-Yeah. And he'd got a nice tan.

-Has he, indeed?

-Well, he looked brown, anyway, didn't he, Fi?

-Yeah.

-Did you ask about his stag do?

-Yes, but he was just quite evasive.

-He didn't really say much.

-He tried to avoid the question.

-Did he?

-Yeah.

-He's in trouble.

-Yeah.

Mushy Matt is keen to remind his bride of their first date at a burger van.

-There you go, then. Thank you.

-Thank you very much. Bye.

It's given him an idea for Rian's wedding invite - with extra cheese.

The unsuspecting bride is at her weekly aerobics class,

run by Auntie Andrea.

SHE SHRIEKS

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

CHEERING

Thanks, Dan.

It smells like a burger.

And I'm starving.

Oh, my God, it's an invitation.

CHEERING

Oh, my God. He frightened me to death.

Oh, my God.

"Hey, baby. So how do you fancy getting married on Friday 12th April?"

CHEERING

And my burger.

Oh, my goodness! Is the burger a clue?

Because we had our first date at a burger van.

What do you think this means, the burger? It's a stinking burger.

-Oh!

-# Things that make you go ooh! #

With the wedding a couple of days away,

it's all hands on deck at the venue.

-I almost kissed you, then.

-That did feel all romantic, didn't it?

And Matt also has to make a final shopping trip

to get his high-maintenance bride some very low shoes.

25 quid. Bargain. Size five, as well.

A heel is just not going to be practical.

It was easier than I thought, anyway.

Got 25 quid still, as well.

It's the day before the wedding

and it's time for Rian to try on the dress Matt bought for her.

If I don't like it I'm not wearing it, simple.

No, I'm not going to.

The dress she loved was a slinky satin fish-tailed frock.

When I've got something in my head, I'm so stubborn,

that's all I can think about.

I'm like a bull. A stubborn bull.

-Hello!

-I'm OK, thank you.

-Give us a hug. Excited?

-Yeah, I'm not nervous.

-You're not nervous.

-I'm really nervous.

-You are.

-Well, it's a beautiful dress.

-Is it?

-Do you want to come on through?

Thank you.

There we go.

Do you want to go through. It's at the other end.

-There you go.

-Right.

-This is the one.

-It's this one?

-It's that one.

Is it what you expected?

Erm... Right.

-It's quite big.

-Yes.

I just hope it doesn't make me look too "pouf", do you know what I mean?

-Like out like that too much?

-Right.

I wanted one that was like... Do you know what I mean?

-A smoother transition, that's what I wanted.

-OK, then. OK.

I thought we'd hear her scream, "Oh, I love it, I love it." But no.

-I've just a feeling.

-A feeling, I know.

-It's not going...

-Good.

-It's not going well.

-No.

It's a lot bigger than the ones I tried on, I think.

Erm... It's lovely made

but I can see...

little bits different - gold or something - behind the jewels.

That's putting me off it.

I know that sounds ridiculous. I know it sounds really ridiculous.

If it makes me look hippy and makes me look bigger than I already feel,

I'm not going to wear it.

Rian is very, very particular.

You know, she won't wear anything.

So if she doesn't like it, she'll say, "I'm not wearing it."

And I can't blame her. It is her special day.

-Can't wait to see you!

-Is it big?

It's a big dress, yeah. It's really big.

I'm in between at the moment. I need to see it.

-If it doesn't look right, we'll say.

-She knows what she wants

-and we can't say, "Oh, that's lovely," if it's not, really.

-No.

I wouldn't like to do that.

Tomorrow I'd feel guilty, thinking we don't really like it.

-THEY GASP

-Oh, my God! You look beautiful.

Oh, it's gorgeous. It's perfect.

-Oh, it's lovely.

-You look absolutely beautiful.

Yeah, it's stunning.

-Does it look nice?

-Yeah, it looks absolutely gorgeous.

-Yeah!

-The detail is gorgeous, isn't it?

It's absolutely beautiful.

-Oh, he's done so well, hasn't he? Fair play.

-Yeah.

He's done a really good job.

Oh, it's lovely.

-That's the reaction!

-I really like it.

-Yeah, it's perfect, isn't it?

-Oh, yeah.

-Oh, thank God! Thank God!

-CHEERING

-Do you think everybody will be looking at you in that?

-Yes!

Shoes? Do I have any shoes?

Rian had her heart set on ultra-glam sparkly high heels

to avoid looking stumpy.

-Oh, my word.

-Oh, my God.

-I can't wear those.

-They're like pumps.

-But with a heel. Pumps with a heel.

-Oh, good God, no.

-Look at that.

-That's nothing like you'd wear.

-Oh, Ri!

-Oh, that'll spoil the look of the dress.

-They don't even match. These are bloody terrible.

-How did he pick those?

What...? What...?

-Look at my feet.

-Oh.

-And all those sparkly ones you liked.

-I know!

These shoes are possibly some of the most disgusting things I've ever seen.

LAUGHTER

Perhaps you've got to walk a long way.

You're right. Perhaps he has bought them for a reason.

-He's picked them for the venue.

-So it's obviously weather dependent.

And we're in wet Wales.

# I want to rain on your parade... #

As the weather takes a turn for the worse, the lads get busy at Matt's outdoor venue.

We should have sorted this out earlier.

It's pissing down with rain.

# Drip, drip, drop little April shower

# Beating a tune as you fall all around

# Drip, drip, drop little April shower... #

We could do without this tomorrow at this time.

Shit.

It's making things very awkward now.

It's soaking through, as well.

It's just because we opened the door.

It's not good, is it?

Could be just... Could ruin the day.

MATT SIGHS

Have to bring our wellies, won't we?

I don't think she'll be very happy.

It's too late now to back out, isn't it?

Just got to go for it,

hope for the best.

It's the morning of Matt's trip-down-memory-lane wedding

and the Welsh weather isn't looking too friendly.

-Oh, Rian!

-WHOOPING AND CHEERING

But at Auntie Andrea's house, the girls are celebrating already.

Happy wedding day!

And Andrea has got her hands on the bridesmaids' dresses.

It is a little bit naughty

but I'm sure he wouldn't mind me adding a couple of finishing touches

for it to look a little bit more girlish.

-I'm really excited now.

-Yeah?

-I can't wait to see him.

At the venue, Matt's mates are adding the finishing touches.

With the wedding just hours away, the groom is nervous.

-What's worrying you at the moment?

-The weather, mainly.

With where it is, like, I mean, if it's wet,

then it could be potentially quite muddy up there.

-The beautiful Welsh weather.

-Yeah.

-I can't believe it's raining.

-I know! I don't want my fake tan running.

-No!

-Our shoes, hopefully, won't be covered in mud.

-We've all got really high shoes, as well, haven't we?

-And cream.

-If it's outside, we're going to get stuck in the mud.

-Yeah!

But it's not only the weather Matt has to worry about.

-CLICKING Why is it making that noise?

-Turn it off.

-It's off.

It won't... It won't start!

As another sentimental gesture,

Matt's plan is for Rian to be picked up in his Blue Beast,

just like she was on their first date.

Come on! We haven't got much time!

-The battery's just flat.

-I'll jump it going forward.

I don't know. Do I need to put it in reverse?

No!

In an hour and a half, Rian is due to be collected in the car she hates

but it's not playing ball.

-Have you got any jump leads, boys?

-I've got jump leads, here.

-Oh, have you?

I'm getting married in a couple of hours and I need my car, like.

It isn't going to be inside. It's outside. We've come to that conclusion.

The flat shoes?

I just think it will be outside.

It's not going to be seamless, I'm sure.

Oh, this is a nightmare.

My legs are killing me. What's my hair looking like?

-It's the last thing I need, like.

-When are you getting married?

-Now.

CAR REVS

The Beast has still got it in her, look!

HORN TOOTS

The Blue Beast has awoken. Now Matt needs to get himself into gear.

-Rian, the flowers are here!

-Oh, my goodness!

Hey! Yeee!

They're so beautiful.

My boy is proving to be pretty good at details.

It's time for Rian to get her first look at Matt's bridesmaids' dresses.

You all look lovely!

Guests have started to arrive at Usk Castle.

Oh, what the hell is that?

And Matt has only just started to get ready.

Oh, my God, I feel stressed, like.

-I can't believe the car let me down.

-Get that down you.

Nearly there.

CHEERING

Check these out.

Rian shows off the shoes that left her feeling, well, low.

GROANING

They're disgusting!

HORN TOOTS

Matt's car's turned up outside with Dan driving it,

so I'm guessing that I'm supposed to get in Matt's car.

-Can you get in, like?

-I don't know.

Your dress is in the door!

HORN TOOTS

I know I'd be picked up in something stupid.

Everything has been too good this morning for me

not to have a lovely car as well.

On his quest to take Rian on a trip down memory lane,

Matt has arranged a surprise -

a stop-off at the pub that held the original beer festival.

Oooh! It's a new car!

Yay!

SHE LAUGHS

And he's left her a note.

"Baby, please understand that I wanted your journey to our wedding to start where it all began.

"I love you. I can't wait to see you."

Matt nervously waits for his bride.

But Rian is still a few miles away and there's no let-up from the rain.

Perhaps it's just a shower.

Hmm.

At the last minute, just as the bride is about to arrive,

the storm clouds finally part.

What is that building?

Oh, Usk Castle!

Oh, my goodness.

A castle!

CHEERING

Hi!

-Careful, careful!

-Before you put your feet down.

Girls, why is there a burger van?

-We had our first date at a burger van!

-Yes!

Isn't that romantic?

Oh, my God, what's this? These shoes make absolute sense now.

You should all have got a pair of these.

Oh, wow! Look! Matt and Rian's beer festival!

SHRIEKING

-FOLK MUSIC

-What?!

LAUGHTER

Oh, my God!

Hey, boys!

-I, Rian-Cara Palfrey.

-I, Rian-Cara Palfrey.

-Do take thee, Matthew John Stephens.

-Do take thee, Matthew John Stephens.

-To be my lawful wedded husband.

-To be my lawful wedded husband.

The gentleman who's got the bride's ring to give to the groom, please.

-Rian, I give you this ring.

-Rian, I give you this ring.

As a symbol of my love for you.

Place the ring all the way onto her finger.

That's a terrible ring!

I mean, it's like a man's ring.

-Is it the right ring?

-Yeah.

-Is it the right ring?

-It's a boy's ring!

-They're both the same.

It's the right one. It's the right one.

-It's too big. It's too big, it is.

-You're joking?

Oh, my God! This is the worst ring I've ever seen.

Don't worry about it, don't worry about it.

Don't worry. I'll speak to you about it after.

-Fair play. It is a man's ring.

-It is.

Congratulations. You may kiss the bride.

CHEERING

As the ceremony ends, the sun puts in an appearance

but Rian has other things on her mind.

-Matt?

-What?

-I've got a bone to pick with you, as well.

I'm not even out, now. Oh, no.

-Where did you go on your stag do, then?

-What?

-Where did you go on your stag do?

-We don't need talk about that now.

-Where did you go on your stag do?

-We'll talk about it after.

-All right.

It was beautiful when we walked in.

It was so pretty with all the candles and the flowers.

It was exactly what Rian wanted.

I'm not usually one to cry but I welled up.

It was a beautiful ceremony.

I didn't think he could pull this out of the bag.

It's beautiful. He must have worked so hard at it for it to be good enough for Rian.

Yay!

The venue is amazing. I couldn't have done a better job myself.

-Really?

-Apart from the car.

And apart from the rings.

DAN: It's gone really well so far.

I couldn't stop laughing when Rian said about the rings.

She didn't seem very happy with that

but I'm sure that's something they can sort out in the future.

One, two, three...

Yes!

He's lucky with the weather, to be honest.

My shoes are ruined, pretty much. My fault for buying heels!

The time has come for Matt to take his bride - literally - on a trip down memory lane.

-What do you think of the burger bar?

-Because that was our first date.

-You're so romantic.

-You said I'm not thoughtful.

-You are thoughtful.

-I can't believe you're having a burger in your wedding dress.

-Mmmm!

-Thank goodness it's a nice day.

-Are you glad you're in flat shoes?

Yeah. Do you know what, I am glad but you could have got me nicer ones that these.

Oh, my goodness!

-What is it?

-It's a beer festival.

It's where we met! Ah!

-Boy's done good.

-You've done really well.

Hold on. So what's the table names?

Caesar's Palace, Planet Hollywood, MGM Grand.

They're hotels in Vegas, I believe.

I don't know. I've never been.

-Matthew...

-What?

-Tell me that again.

Tell me a lie now as a married couple.

We went to Vegas on the stag do.

I know you did! I knew it anyway.

And it's fine because you've done a really good job. Show me around.

It seems that Matt has dodged a bullet.

What are they? Tankards? I don't understand what they are.

-Where did we go on that first date?

-A boot sale!

You got them from a boot sale!

You've been really romantic. I'm really impressed.

CHEERING

Thank you.

The most important person here today and in my life forever from now on.

Thank you for coming.

And thank you for being my wife and my best friend.

Most importantly, I just want us to have fun and laugh our way through life.

CHEERING

And, guys, if anyone wants to buy me two drinks tonight

because Rian can't drink because we are going to be parents...

CHEERING

Boys, I couldn't have done it without you, mind. Fair play.

Fair play, seriously.

I've learnt he's very sensitive, a lot more thoughtful than I give him credit for

but I have to give him the space to do it himself.

I'm not organising anything again. That's it now. I'm done.

Wales has been kind to us today.

-It was a gamble that paid off.

-It was a big gamble.

You must have got used to that in Vegas.

CHEERING

He's done an absolutely fabulous job.

-I thought the ceremony was really intimate.

-Yeah, it was beautiful.

-And I can't fault anything he's done.

-No.

-No.

-Thank you, girls!

-Yay!

I will remember this day for the rest of my life.

I'm a very lucky girl.

# Bap ba-ah Bap-bap ba-dah-dah

# Bap ba-ah Bap-bap ba-dah-dah... #

We went to Vegas for a week.

Who needs three weeks when you can do it in two?

Like I always say - when she ain't home, I wear the trousers.

CHEERING

I love you! I love you!

Next time, self-confessed alien addict Liam...

Come into my house.

..plans a wedding that's out of this world.

We're the Men In Black. It's a military covert operation.

..for his super-sensible bride, Lynne.

Oh, Liam!

-Can our space cadet groom...

-This is what my mind looks like.

-To Liam!

-..launch his wedding into orbit...

or will it be lost in space?

-I'm not wearing it.

-Liam, I hate you.

It's a joke. He will be in big trouble.

# If I was a flower growing wild and free

# All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee

# And if I was a tree growing tall and green

# All I'd want is you to shade me And be my leaves

# All I want is you Will you be my bride?

# Take me by the hand and stand by my side

# All I want is you Will you stay with me?

# Hold me in your arms And sway me like the sea. #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd