Episode 3 Family Finders

Families can be driven apart for all manner of reasons.

My mum went away and didn't come back.

And when you do lose touch with your loved ones...

I never saw Kathleen again.

..finding them can take a lifetime...

I wonder where he is, I wonder what he is doing.

You don't really know where to begin.

..especially when they could be anywhere, at home or abroad.

And that is where the Family Finders come in.

Hi, it is the Salvation Army Family Tracing Service.

From international organisations...

There has never been a day when we have never had new inquiries.

..to genealogy detective agencies...

When was it you last had contact with him?

..and dedicated one-man bands...

I like to do searches other people can't get,

because it makes me feel good.

..they hunt through history...

to bring families back together again.

"You're my biological dad."

In this series, we follow the work of the Family Finders...

This case came from our Australian colleagues.

..learning the tricks they use

to track missing relatives through time...

I am 68 years of age, he is 75 years of age and we are just starting off.

..and meeting the people whose lives they change along the way.

I said, "This is your younger sister."

It is a miracle.

I was struck speechless. And I couldn't stop crying.

It's a proud moment for Dad.

It was a start on finding my family.

There are a wealth of agencies all over the UK that can help

reunite estranged families.

I don't just look for dead people

but I also look for live people, trying to reunite relatives

or friends who have lost contact with each other.

But not everyone chooses to call in the experts.

Plenty of people decide to turn family finder themselves.

Nowadays you sit down at your computer, you go onto the screen,

you click the mouse and hopefully

the computer will do the searching for you.

And that is exactly what 40-year-old Tracy has decided to do

on behalf of her father, George Chapman.

It was about eight months searching through all the files

until we actually found what we thought was a family member.

Throughout his tough upbringing in 1940s Northumberland,

George believed he was an only child.

Well, I was born in 1946.

I moved to a place called Hartford Huts,

which belonged to the council now,

but they were Nissen huts, you know?

They had no toilet, so you had to walk a quarter of a mile

if you wanted your toilet.

And we were there until I was nearly four, four years old.

Then the council had built a new estate at Bedlington Station

and that is when we all moved down to Bedlington Station.

I had a couple of paper rounds, you know,

to make a bit of pocket money

and I used to come back in the morning and do my mum's

breakfast because she had turned blind, you know, she couldn't cook.

And then away to school, come back at dinner time,

do a little sandwich or something for her, you know,

because she was diabetic, so she hardly had food.

Many a time I came in and she was in, like,

what we call a diabetic coma.

I had to try and get her out of it with plenty of sweet tea.

My dad contracted TB.

He was ill with that, so I had two ill parents for a long time.

Hadn't any help from social services at all

and I still had to go to school.

But I coped, you know.

With so many responsibilities at home,

George was encouraged to go on a school trip when he was 15.

My dad says, "Oh, just get away. You need a break and that," you know?

And my mother was in hospital at this time, she had been

took in two days before I went, but they told us to still go.

So I went away and everything was all right

and a week later I got a letter saying my mother had died.

And she had been buried.

And nobody had informed us, you know, till then.

My dad and me just had to get on with our two selves

until I started going out with Maureen.

George and Maureen became engaged and got married not long after.

Then, a few years later, George's dad also passed away.

I was 22 when my dad died and I was going through a lot

of papers, you know, as you do with your dad's stuff and that.

And stuffed away in a little wallet, hidden away

was this adoption certificate

which I had never seen.

So I looked at it and...

..I couldn't believe what I saw.

I am shocked, you know,

at nobody telling me this, you know?

George pleaded with his relatives for more information

about his birth parents but was given nothing more than his mother's name.

He went on to have a family of his own, but it wasn't until his

daughter Tracy had grown up that he decided to open up about the past.

This is how it started.

I found this and I couldn't believe it

when I saw the date that I had been adopted.

With me being born on 4th May, it's...

The whole thing was completed in 1946 on 31st May.

-And that's it.

-Yeah.

Armed with her dad's adoption papers, Tracy approached

Northumberland social services, who gave her his birth certificate.

And this crucial document gave them

confirmation of George's original name.

They give you the name of your mam,

who was Purdy, formerly Foster, which was her maiden name.

With this vital information, the next part of the search could begin.

We went on a site on the internet and you could search through births,

you could search through deaths, marriages.

There was a census on there as well.

I looked under the marriages from Mary Purdy

and it came up saying that she had been married to George Clough.

So then we put in Clough in the next ten years

and it brought up Christine, Vera and Allan.

Christine, Vera and Allan were also children

of George's birth mother, Mary.

At the very least, they were half-siblings to George

and possibly even full siblings.

And armed with these names, Tracy turned her attention to social media.

Me and my niece Rebecca,

we had the list of names and she contacted me and says,

"Why don't you search through the social media site and see

"if you can see if anybody is on there?"

And when Tracy entered the name of George's brother, Allan Clough,

she seemed to strike gold.

I said straight away that he looked like my dad. I could see.

The bit from the eyes and the...

The nose and the eyes, I thought that was...

They looked very similar.

So I pretty much thought we hit on finding the right person.

Tracy sent this Allan a message asking if he might be a relative.

But they received no reply.

I just thought, "Oh, they don't want to know. They have rejected it."

But we knew that they hadn't read it.

But Tracy kept saying, "Well, nobody has read it.

-"They haven't read it..."

-Yeah.

"..so it cannot have been rejected," you know?

George's search had hit a dead end.

Little did they know what was just around the corner.

Since the early 1960s Britain's divorce rate has risen by 80%.

And with families splitting up,

many children get separated from one of their parents.

That is what happened to Rebecca Taylor,

who enlisted the help of the Salvation Army to try to track down

her biological father.

OK, and can I just take her name? Sorry.

More often than not people can't provide the information

that would be ideal,

but we can still work with quite basic information.

Rebecca's story begins in the Black Country in 1976.

I was born in Walsall in the West Midlands.

My mum was from Walsall and my dad was from Walsall

and I grew up there.

Rebecca has a few precious early memories of her father, Trevor.

I remember seeing my dad when I was very little.

I also remember him teaching me to ride a bike.

At the age of three her parents split up,

but Rebecca continued to see her dad.

I used to see him every now and again.

I remember he took me to a teddy bears' picnic in the park.

We went to Alton Towers. He didn't live with us, but I got to see him.

However, when Rebecca was ten, her mother remarried

and the new family decided to start a fresh life in Devon.

We moved from a semidetached house in Smethwick,

which is not the nicest part of the world but that is where we lived,

and we moved down south.

And that was the last time Rebecca saw her dad.

I stopped seeing my dad when we moved away.

My dad was quite keen to see me but then my mum remarried again

and they had my sister when I was ten years old.

Even though she grew up far removed from her biological father

and had just a few blurry photos of him,

Rebecca was always determined to track him down.

I always kind of said to myself, "I'm going to find my dad one day."

You know, "I'm going to do it."

She made several failed attempts to track down her father

over the years, but it wasn't until she hit her late 30s

that Rebecca took her search online.

I put in my dad's name, where he was born and birthday

and I came across an amazing story.

Rebecca found an article relating to a Trevor Matthews.

"To our brother on 20 February. Have a great day.

"Love you, from sisters and families and Auntie Peggy."

But with no knowledge of this Auntie Peggy,

Rebecca couldn't be certain if she had the right man.

When I opened the page up there was a photograph of him.

I saw that and thought,

"Wow, I actually think this is my dad."

With a photo, date of birth and location,

Rebecca would have had a fighting chance of finding Trevor by herself.

But nervous about making first contact,

she decided to place the search in the hands of the experts.

The Salvation Army have a high rate of success

when it comes to reuniting families.

Rebecca had made a good start, but she couldn't be entirely sure

that the man she had found was her father.

Could the Family Tracing Unit solve the case and find their man?

She contacted us in the first place

by filling in one of our online inquiry forms.

She provided us with her father's full name, date of birth

and the last known area he was possibly known to be in.

Rebecca was also able to send us a copy of her birth certificate,

her parents' marriage certificate, which was able to help us

with our searches.

They had some basic information, but the Salvation Army now needed

to track down Trevor Matthews' current whereabouts

and then write to him asking if he'd like to reconnect with his daughter.

And while this all took place, all Rebecca could do was wait.

In Tyne and Wear, ten months have passed since George

and his daughter Tracy sent a message on social media

to the man they thought to be his brother Allan.

Understandably, they had given up hope.

But a mere ten miles away, his prayers have just been answered.

I didn't go on for over a year

and on 27 December...

for some reason I decided to go on.

And I realised I had a message and when I opened the message,

it was from a Tracy Stephenson.

She said her father had been doing his family tree.

His mother was called Mary Purdy, nee Foster,

who then married George Clough...

..and asked if I was a relative.

And when I'm seeing this, I thought, "God, I don't believe this,"

because Mary and George were my mother and father.

So I replied to Tracy's message telling her who I was

and I'll give the telephone number out and...

..George phoned me a couple of days later.

I phoned up, I was shaking, I was phoning up,

and funny enough the first words out of his mouth was,

"Is that George?"

He says, "I have been sitting here waiting all morning

"hoping that you would phone us."

And, oh, I think we spoke for about an hour.

I wept, you know,

that I had found some family.

After 68 years, and knowing that you've got a brother

and sisters, it's the best feeling in the world, you know.

It felt great, you know, to know that I had a brother.

And, like I say, it just felt as though I knew him for years.

Allan and Christine had a loving but tough upbringing with their mum, who

raised them by herself after their father died when Allan was just 11.

And their mother kept George a secret from both of them all her life.

I was 21 when she died and she never mentioned anything whatsoever.

I just couldn't take it in and I just thought,

"My mum's not my mum, not the person I knew."

It was just a shock at first for me.

Then Allan came down New Year's Day, specifically to make me

talk to him, and I never regretted it from the day I did.

It's Christine's birthday today and George and his new

siblings are all coming together for a proper knees-up tonight.

But there's another big event today, too.

Allan and Christine had a sister, Vera, who died in her 20s.

But there's also another sister, Thelma, who now lives in Australia.

And today, Thelma's come all the way over to Northumberland to

celebrate Christine's birthday and to meet George,

the brother she never knew she had.

When Christine rang to say we had a brother, I was so confused.

-"Who is it?"

-Yeah.

But when I've seen the picture of him, it was the image of Christine.

Yeah, very excited when I see them. Yeah.

I'm...

I'm usually fairly calm, you know, but when I come to see

the family, I do get a bit excited about it, you know?

Just because I've never had anything like this.

I've been an only one, you know, and I've always seen

a lot of families, you know, when they're all together.

And...

And I've often said I wouldn't mind having a family, a brother

and sisters, to share, you know. I think that would be lovely.

And it's happened.

I've got brothers and sisters and it's the best feeling in the world.

I love it.

George has met Allan and Christine already

but this is the first time he'll get to know Thelma.

-Hello.

-Hello, Christine.

-You all right?

-That's another one.

After a tough childhood caring for sick parents

-and believing he was an only child...

-What are you doing, then?

Hello, Allan.

..George now has not just a brother and sister who live ten miles away

but also another sister from the other side of the world.

-At long last!

-At long last!

-My brother, George.

-Yeah.

-It's a long flight, isn't it? 23, is it?

-24.

-24?

And then the rest and hanging around the airport.

-Yeah, I think that's the worst part.

-Yeah, but it was worth it.

-It was.

-It was worth it.

-Very well worth it.

-I'm pleased you've come over.

-Yeah, so am I.

-Been looking forward to this for a long time.

-Yeah, I have, too. Yeah.

-Yeah. Now I've got a new family.

That's right, yeah. It's lovely.

Just wish that I had met my mother, you know,

-before she died, you know?

-She was young when she died.

-Yeah.

-That's my mum.

-That's your mum, yeah?

-That's Allan when he was little.

-She was great. Great sense of humour.

She was strict, very strict, but fair. Very strict but fair.

Shame it's taken all these years to find each other.

-But we'll make up for it now.

-Oh, yes, yes.

-The best we can.

We were shocked and then happy and then saddened

-because it's taken all this time.

-It's taken all this time, that's it.

But it's great.

It's the best thing that's ever happened to me, you know.

I've always said I wanted brothers or sisters...and sisters,

-and I've got what I've asked for. Cannot ask for any more.

-Yeah.

Sadly, the exact reasons why George was adopted remain a mystery.

But having spent his whole life wishing he had siblings,

George's dream has come true, and tonight,

he gets to celebrate his sister's birthday with his new-found family.

Just like to thank everyone for coming.

I would like to thank George and family for looking and finding us.

It was the best thing that ever happened and to tell him all his

new family love him and his family, and I'm sure Allan will agree.

Me and him are much closer now.

And that's it.

SHE LAUGHS

CHEERING

I was going to have a little party

but my girls have decided I'm going to have a big party

because I found my brother that I never knew I had,

and it's the best thing that's ever happened.

This is the first time the four of us

have had a night out together and it's really good.

-Nice to take back memories to Australia.

-Yeah.

It's been a fabulous night

and we're hoping you'll enjoy the rest of it.

I did well.

Christine's speech was lovely and I was very emotional when she made it.

Um...

I really got, you know...got the lump in my throat at the time.

Well, it was nice just to get some lovely words and that

about my family and that, and I appreciate what she said.

It is better late than never.

I mean, it all happened...

Really got together in about 68 weeks, you know,

and to be together like this is just fantastic, you know.

Being accepted is the main thing for me, being accepted.

I found them and I'll never let go.

That's what I want and that's what I've got.

In Berkshire, Rebecca had contacted the Salvation Army to help

find her father, Trevor, after over 30 years apart.

The Family Tracing Unit had made some inroads

but Rebecca had heard nothing.

The best place to start with a case like this one with

the information we were provided with is the electoral roll.

I was able to cross-reference the details, which meant

I was able to narrow it down to possibly the right person.

After an agonising wait, the Salvation Army had come up trumps.

They were able to confirm that the man Rebecca had found online

was her father, Trevor Matthews, and they were also able to

confirm that he was happy to reconnect with her.

I got a phone call two weeks after, roughly.

And I thought to myself, "This is going to be an emotional moment."

So I went into a meeting room, shut myself in there and she said,

"I've got some fantastic news for you.

"I'm really pleased to tell you that we found your dad and he's

"over the moon that you've taken the effort and found, you know...

"that he's in touch with you now." And I was in floods of tears.

I was just so happy, emotional tears,

after all these years, I'd actually finally found him

and that, actually, he wanted me to find him.

Naturally, Rebecca wasn't the only one the Salvation Army had

got in touch with.

When I received the letter saying one of my family would like to

contact me, um...

Well, my mind was doing overtime.

I found Rebecca and I heard a voice and I thought,

"I'm glad when I can meet you, you know,

"really pleased to meet you, you know,

"I just want to meet you."

I thought, "Oh, it's my dad, it's my dad!"

So that was quite a good memory, when I actually got to speak to him.

He kept saying to me, "I can't actually believe this.

"I keep having to pinch myself.

"I can't believe this is actually happening,"

because he didn't think he would actually ever see me again.

Rebecca and Trevor were separated for 30 years.

There's been a lot of water under the bridge

and Trevor's only recently been able to share his version of events.

It was so sad...

..because I didn't want to leave Rebecca behind or anybody else,

yeah.

But, you know, due to circumstances beyond my control...

..I decided I could, and that's what I'll always do.

I don't know if that's any good but that's about the truth of it,

you know.

Back in contact, the pair are hoping they can make up for lost time.

And that's exactly what they did when they first met.

I went there for the weekend

and I was supposed to see him on the Saturday.

And he was so keen to see me that he phoned me up and said, "I think

"you should come and meet us tonight. Why wait?"

And I said, "I'm not ready for this yet!

"This is such a big thing, I'm not ready. Let's just do it tomorrow."

You know, seize the day and all that, just do it now.

He's asking to see you.

So we got ready and we went and met him at his local pub, got the

taxi, and the taxi pulled up and he was waiting outside the pub already.

I was, like, "I think that's my dad. I think that's him! There he is.

"But is it him?"

So we got out of the taxi and he said, "All right, Rebecca?"

He was really over the moon

and it was really good to speak to him again.

As for Trevor, he's just pleased to get a second chance.

I'll put back, you know, what I've missed out on.

Yeah? And do my best to do it.

Cos I'm determined

and I'm glad to be back.

As Arnold Schwarzenegger said, "I'll be back."

TREVOR WHEEZES AND LAUGHS

Rebecca and her daughter, Holly, now live in Berkshire.

Today, they're making the 120-mile journey to Walsall,

so Rebecca can take Holly to meet her grandad on home turf.

Hello.

-Hello, Holly. Nice to meet you.

-Are you all right?

-Yes, lovely.

-Long time.

-Hello.

-How are you?

-I've been good, how are you?

-Not too bad, thank you.

-Good.

We've brought a present for you today, Grandad.

We've brought you...some photos.

Oh, thank you very much, that's absolutely...

beautiful.

The first picture was me as a baby, five months old.

That's absolutely beautiful.

You recognise?

That's a lovely photo.

That's me and my mum when I was born.

That's me and Holly, when Holly was just a few months old.

I shall treasure this. It's absolutely beautiful.

And she's got the family red hair.

-HOLLY LAUGHS

-Yeah.

And then there's some from when I was young.

I was in Zimbabwe there, in 1987.

I was 11 years old there.

-Thank you very much.

-That's fine.

-I'll give you a cuddle.

OK.

-Good girl.

-I hope you enjoy looking at them.

-I will do.

-I've enjoyed putting those together.

-Yes.

-It's been nice.

-And you...

-look after yourself, right?

-I will.

-Thank you.

The great thing is, even though we don't know each other that well,

I've honestly got that connection, because you're my dad.

You can't replace that, I don't feel that way with other people,

-you know? So...

-Well, you won't, will you?

I'd love to have had you there when I got married to give me away and things like that.

There's times like that that I...

I really appreciate that, believe me, that you think like that, right?

-Mm.

-But there is only one thing I want you to do, is be happy.

-Yeah.

-And that's all I want in the world.

Yeah, well... I'm happier now that I've got you.

We writ a book, a part of the book, it's not finished yet, right?

-Mm.

-But now we're moving on to this chapter,

now you've found me,

and this chapter in the book is the most interesting part of that book.

-Mm.

-Let's leave it like that, yeah?

'It's nice to actually show him,'

instead of just telling him what's been going on.

It's good that we've actually made the effort,

she's made the effort to finally find him

and now hopefully we'll be able to see him a lot more often.

I'm over the moon.

And I feel tremendous...

that this, my own daughter searched after all these years,

for us to come together

and now I know we can build a future from here.

This is the happiest thing that's happened to me in the last year

and it's something that I will never forget.

You know, it's something you can't recreate.

Um...you know, I'm lucky to have the rest of my family around,

but this was like the missing piece, if you like,

so I'm really glad I've found my dad and now I can spend time with him

and my two daughters can spend time with him, and if they have children,

hopefully he'll be around to be there for his great-grandchildren.

So, for me it's a great achievement, I'm really happy.