Episode 7 Family Finders

Families can be driven apart for all manner of reasons.

I had no information at all about where my mum went.

And when you do lose touch with your loved ones...

You don't know who you are, where've you come from.

..finding them can take a lifetime.

I might have a brother that's still living here.

Especially when they could be anywhere - at home or abroad.

And that's where the Family Finders come in.

From international organisations...

Hi, it's The Salvation Army Family Tracing Service.

..to genealogy detective agencies...

For someone to say that it's changed their life,

it makes coming to work, you know, really, really special.

..and dedicated one-man bands.

It's a matter of how much effort you really want to put into it,

how badly you want to solve the problem.

They hunt through history to bring families back together again.

Finding new family is wonderful.

In this series, we follow the work of the Family Finders...

Suddenly, you get one spark of breakthrough and there they are.

..learning the tricks they use to track missing relatives through time...

I didn't think I'd ever find my sisters but I have.

..and meeting the people whose lives they change along the way.

I've been waiting to meet John my whole life.

Since we've met, I feel part of a family again.

You've just completed my life for me.

When it comes to tracking down lost family members,

you don't always have to pay for a professional service

or seek outside help.

In the age of the internet, anyone can become a family detective.

Today, we follow one man's mission to find out about his grandfather

which uncovered a family lost across the generations.

Well, that's really quite shocking, actually, in a pleasant kind of way.

It's as if it's meant to be.

And Lynn who spent years trying to track down her long-lost brother.

A million things went through my head,

what I thought I would say to him,

and I practised it and practised it and practised it

and then I rang the number

and just before I put the last digit in, I put the phone down

and if I did that once, I must have done it 20 times.

53-year-old Simon Wrigley was born and brought up on the Isle of Wight.

But at the age of 21, Simon decided to leave the island

and broaden his horizons.

And by chance, I ended up in Israel.

Literally by chance as a volunteer on a kibbutz.

I was working in the bananas and with the oranges

and we were a group of young people who were having a wonderful time.

And been there ever since.

Even though he's been living in Israel for over 30 years,

Simon has never forgotten his roots.

England is my home.

Especially the Isle of Wight and that's where I come from.

When you live away from your family, you realise how important they are.

But it wasn't until he returned to the Isle of Wight, briefly,

after his grandmother died that Simon began a fascination

with his family history.

When grandparents die, when they pass over,

the knowledge goes with them.

I think that living away from my family and growing older

and family members passing away,

I became aware of that more

and it's very important to talk to them about the past,

to get that knowledge from them, because if not, it goes.

I discovered a picture in my parents' house of my grandparents

and this was when they were engaged.

It must be around 1923.

I can see myself in my grandfather.

And I realise that nobody really had any connection

with his side of the family

and there was this whole, sort of, mystery that nobody knew.

That's why I wanted to know more about him.

Determined to discover more, back in Israel,

he began to search, in earnest, on the internet.

One of the first things I discovered online was

my grandfather's death certificate

and here's my grandfather's name on the certificate,

Bernard Frederick Groundsell.

He died at a very early age, at the age of 46 in 1949.

He died of lung cancer to which I didn't know.

It stirred an emotion in me, reading this because

what does this come down to,

just a piece of paper saying somebody's died?

But this is... This is...

This is somebody. This is my family. This is my...

This is my grandfather.

And it's not just a date on a piece of paper. It was a human being.

Simon also discovered that his grandfather was one of nine siblings.

He realised he could have surviving relatives out there

he didn't know about.

Simon decided to investigate further.

I thought I'd give it a go

by putting an advertisement in the local paper.

They have a section, here, called Islanders Reunited.

So I thought, "I'll send an e-mail, here,

"and let's see if anything comes up."

But with no idea if his ancestors had any surviving relatives

left on the Isle of Wight,

all he could do now was wait.

It must have been about six months and I got a bit, sort of...

..I wouldn't say I'd given up,

but I didn't have much hope of finding family members from this

but I thought, "At least I'll give it a try, you never know."

54-year-old Lynn Lewis has been waiting almost 40 years

to find out the truth about her long-lost family.

Lynn grew up in Buxton, in the Peak District, with her parents,

Maureen and Alan, her two sisters and a brother.

I had a wonderful childhood. Everything we wanted, we got.

We were a bit spoilt, really.

It was always a happy home.

But this picture of the perfect family wasn't all that it seems.

My parents told me I had an older brother when I was around 15.

I think they thought, at that point, I was probably old enough to

take on board the information.

It was much of a shock to me so I asked, "Will I ever see him?

"What does he look like?"

And they said, "Well, we'll never know

"cos we gave up all rights to have him.

"He was given up for adoption, you know,

"there's nothing you'll ever be able to do about it."

Mum was only 15, at the time, when she got pregnant

and she said in them days it wasn't allowed

for you to have a baby out of wedlock and so young

so she was sent away to a mother and baby home to have my brother.

She didn't want to give him away.

Her and my dad would have loved to have just kept the baby

and got married and carried on with a lovely family life,

but the decision was taken completely out of her hands.

In the years after giving up their son for adoption,

Lynn's parents carried on their relationship,

married, and had four children,

of whom Lynn is the eldest.

It wad the loss of her father, Alan, to leukaemia at the age of just 39

that inspired Lynn to start searching for her older brother.

So I gathered the information from Mum, as much as I could,

and I was determined that, one day, I'd meet this brother of mine.

But Lynn's search immediately hit a brick wall

that would leave her frustrated for the next 25 years.

Because Mum had given him up for adoption,

I didn't have any rights to look for him.

He could look for us but we couldn't look for him.

And it wasn't until I watched a programme on the television

in 2005 that said, "Please dial this number

"if you've been affected by this programme."

I dialled the number, I explained what had happened

and I was told, then, that the law had changed a couple of years ago

and you, now, had a right to look for your siblings.

It was because of this law change that Lynn could finally try

and find her long-lost brother with the help of an adoption agency.

I got a phone call from the agency saying they'd narrowed it down

to one person who they felt sure was my brother

and could I write a letter and send photographs

that they would pass on to him.

It was just so, so exciting to think that after 25 years

the door was opening and maybe he would be at the other side of it.

But there was still one big question that remained unanswered.

Would her long-lost brother want to get back in touch

with his birth family?

I wrote this long letter and left it with the adoption agency...

..and waited.

So, it all hung on whether he actually read the letter

and wanted to get in touch with me.

All Lynn could do now was wait.

In Israel, Simon Wrigley was also playing a waiting game.

What began as a desire to discover more about his grandfather

had become a mission to find long-lost relations on the Isle of Wight.

Simon had appealed online for any news

of his grandfather's eight brothers and sisters.

But, there, his search seemed to have hit a dead end.

From the time that I placed the advert,

more or less six months passed and I hadn't heard anything.

And, then, all of a sudden, out of the blue, I saw an e-mail.

It was a very emotional moment to think that somebody's read

the e-mail and who was a family member and I was very curious to see

who this person was or how they're connected.

I was quite excited about it

because, at the time, I was working on the family tree myself

but only the bare skeleton of it and he started telling me

a bit of the information that he'd got together which

I was, then, able to piece together with the information I already had.

And, then, I realised that her father must be my mother's first cousin.

Hayley had seen Simon's ad.

They worked out that their grandfathers were brothers,

making Hayley and Simon second cousins.

It was very exciting when I first read the e-mail because

I felt there was a re-connection with the Groundsell family.

It was the next step for me. It was another piece in the jigsaw.

I'd never met my grandad.

He died the year I was born and the Groundsell family has always

been quite a mystery to me, a bit of an enigma.

But it turns out it's actually quite a large, extended family

on the island that I never even knew about.

And that wasn't all. Someone else saw Simon's ad.

Jane.

Her father, Frank, was another of the Groundsell brothers.

It was so absolutely amazing because Simon wrote back to me

and wanted to know what stories I knew and I filled him in

with quite a lot because my father was a great storyteller.

I knew loads of...loads of stories going right back to

when they were little boys.

As more of Simon's grandfather's relatives came to light,

Simon decided to commit all his research to paper.

Although I had all this information, it was all online -

I had documents, I had things here and there -

so I decided to put a small book together.

I wrote a profile on each member of the family.

Everyone has a story.

Every relative has a story attached.

And I continuously work on this and I continuously update this

all the time so it's an ongoing project, basically.

They might have passed away but it's important to

keep their memory to know who they were, what they were,

how you were related because it's part of you.

It's important. It's important to know these things.

After making contact with relatives he never knew he had,

now Simon is embarking on the next chapter

of his ongoing journey to find out more about the Groundsell family.

He's making the 4,000-mile trip from Israel to the Isle of Wight

along with his partner, Yuval.

Tomorrow, he'll be reunited with his new relations again

and hopes to fill in even more of the blanks in his family history.

I'm going home and it's always exciting to be with your family

and to come home.

I've got some new information for them and to share with them

and maybe they have some new information for me

so it's quite exciting to see what they have

and, also, to share what I have.

But this morning, before the reunion,

Simon has one very important stop to make.

The graveyard where his grandfather, Bernard, is buried.

It's important to visit my grandfather's grave and to...

for me to keep his memory alive.

But while searching for his grandfather,

Simon stumbles on something unexpected.

By chance, I've just discovered my great grandfather's grave,

George Young Groundsell.

Died November the 28th, 1915.

Aged 74.

Well, that's really quite shocking, actually,

in a pleasant kind of way, to discover their grave by accident.

It's as if it's meant to be.

Just stumbling along here and there we are.

This must be the Groundsell row, I should imagine.

Think all these years have passed

since 1949.

But it's important to visit the grave and to remember.

After finding the graves of his grandfather

and even his great-grandfather, Simon's heading to meet

some of the surviving generations of the Groundsell family.

CHATTERING

Hello. Oh, so many people here. Hello.

Come in for a hug.

-You look lovely. Hello, Jane, how are you?

-Lovely to see you.

-Hello, Simon.

-Hello, how are you?

Thanks to Simon's work, everyone here has now been reconnected

with family members they never knew they had.

Now Simon can share the latest edition of his family history book.

And also his latest discovery, made just a few hours ago.

It took us a while to find the grave.

We were, sort of, hunting because it all looks the same.

And then, while we were looking, we came across our,

-let me get this right, great-great-grandparent's grave.

-Oh, wow.

-What? No.

-By chance.

-George Young Groundsell and his wife, Sarah.

-No way.

So that was interesting, yeah.

And cousin Jane has been carrying out some research of her own.

I brought this along for you to see, Simon,

because I know that some of the pictures you wanted... I've been up in the attic.

-Have you?

-Looking at...

-What did you discover in your attic?

That's an early picture of my father there...

And who's this little cute one?

-Ah, I was about three months old, I reckon.

-Ah.

All of this new information will be added

to Simon's ever-expanding archive

and the next edition of the Groundsell family history.

I've got some new information for you

regarding the Groundsell family house.

So, this is the house in its day, in the early 1900s.

-I think in its day it was quite a grand residence...

-Mmm.

-..by the looks of things. It was...

-I think they had servants.

-Mmm.

And this is the house, today, as it stands, so little has changed much.

We could have passed each other in the street umpteen times,

we live ten minutes away from each other,

and because of Simon, we've got to know each other.

On behalf of us all, I'd like to say a huge thank you, Simon,

for bringing us all together and for organising all of this.

So, I'd like you all to raise your glasses, please, to Simon.

-Thank you.

-And to the Groundsells. Cheers everybody.

Cheers.

Simon's mission to uncover his family history continues.

But today marks the successful conclusion to the chapter

that began his story 20 years ago.

I felt I've reconnected to my grandfather

and part of researching the family tree is to keep the memory of your relatives alive

and to realise, this is your heritage. It's very important.

It's like the end results of my research

so it's been a really fun day.

Lynn Lewis had been hoping for her own happy family reunion.

Through an adoption agency,

she thought she had found the older brother, David,

who her mother had given up for adoption 60 years earlier.

Now, all Lynn could do was wait and see if the man the agency believed

was her brother, would respond to her letter.

"Hello David, it's hard for me to describe how it feels

"to actually be sitting down writing this letter to you.

"Knowing that you are going to read it.

"You can't imagine how many times I have gone over what I would say

"if this time ever came."

I can't. I can't read it.

Oh.

"I totally understand that you need to take things very slowly,

"as do us all.

"I have tried many times to look for you."

"When I received the phone call with the wonderful news

"that you had been found,

"I went through a rollercoaster of emotions, as I expect, did you.

"I am so looking forward to receiving a letter back from you.

"In your own time."

BOTH: "Until then, may I wish yourself and your family well."

"Love, Lynn."

After reading that letter, I just wanted to get in touch

with her as quick as possible, really, then.

Lynn had found her long-lost brother, David.

Now, the adoption agency could put the two in touch directly.

They said, "We found your brother." And they said to me,

"We have a phone number for you.

"He wants you to get in touch with him."

And I was, "Oh, my goodness, no. It can't be happening."

And then I rang the number

and just before I put the last digit in,

I put the phone down and if I did that once,

I must've done it 20 times before I finally dialled the number

and the phone rang and my stomach was turning

and I was close to tears and this voice answered the phone.

I said, "Is that Dave? It's Lynn."

And he said, "Hello, Duck."

Erm, cos he's a proper country bumpkin

and I just said, "You wouldn't believe how long I've been trying to find you."

We just seemed to click and we just hit it off.

From within seconds,

we were laughing at each other's little jokes and things and...

You'd have thought we'd have known each other all our lives and, yet,

it was the first time we'd ever spoken.

After his mother, Maureen, had to give him up,

Dave grew up with his adoptive parents

on a farm in the Peak District.

I found out I was adopted at the age of around seven.

When I think me mum thought we'd possibly understand

what she was telling us and what it was.

And, I mean, I did asked many years ago if we wanted to find out any more

but, you know, you're a small child, then,

and Mum and Dad was Mum and Dad

and you never thought no more about it as a small child.

And it was left like that and before I knew any more,

I had a letter and a phone call

and Lynn had been looking for me, me sister.

As Dave learned more about his birth family,

there were several surprising revelations.

Not least, that his birth parents had stayed together

after he was born and that Dave grew up just a few miles away

from where they lived in Buxton.

It was a shock to know that they'd got married

and lived together happily ever after,

and raised a big family,

and I'd only been, literally, teens of miles away from them.

All those lives I'd never known but,

sadly, I never got to meet Alan.

He died before I got the chance to meet him.

Although it was too late to be reunited with Alan,

Dave wasted no time in getting together with Lynn

and the rest of his birth family.

Including his mother, Maureen.

I went along with my mum and my sister, Paula,

and we got there before they did.

We got there early so we wouldn't be late

and we sat down with a drink and we watched through the window

and, then, all of a sudden, this 4x4 pulls up

in the car park and out pops this strapping bloke.

Erm, round to the other side of the car, opens the door

and this little old lady gets out

so I said to me mum and Paula, "This must be them."

Lynn and Paula had seen me come in.

Unbeknown to me and as we walked through the door, they grabbed me. Ha.

They bounced on top of me, erm...

So that was very emotional.

We just hugged and cried and looked at each other

and didn't want to let each other go.

And me mum walked round the back and Maureen was sat there

very, very frightened, nervous like the rest. Like we all was really.

She walked straight up to her. Put her arm around her.

Said, "It's been a long time. But he's here now."

Maureen died a few years after they were reunited

but Dave still wants to learn more about his birth family

and, especially, his father, Alan.

Today, Lynn has arranged for Dave to meet their aunt,

Alan's sister, Beryl.

-Me dad confided in Auntie Beryl...

-Right.

..when he was 15 so she's known about you and the circumstances

why you were adopted, right from the very beginning, I think.

This is going to be a really good day.

A really good day.

Alan would have been overjoyed at this meeting.

Oh, it would have been a joy for him. A real joy for him.

-Hello.

-Hello.

-Come on, darling.

-Aw.

-Come on, David.

-Hello, Auntie Beryl.

THEY LAUGH

-Oh, dear, dear, dear.

-Oh, we'll have a nice little chat now, won't we?

Oh, yeah, I hope so.

-Oh, wow.

-Come on, sit down. Sit down with me.

-How special this is going to be.

-How special is it?

A very special day for me.

-Off I go!

-Ha-ha.

-Now, don't he look like me mum and our Alan?

Yes. Yes.

-He's more like your mum than our Alan.

-Yeah.

Dave's keen to find out exactly what happened to his mum

and dad after he was born, from someone who was there at the time.

-So, can you remember what actually happened after...?

-Not really.

No, it was more or less taboo, you know, I mean...

-Did Dad get into trouble...can you...at the time?

-Yes, he did.

Because they actually met again when they probably shouldn't have done

-and, well...

-Well, I don't thi...

-..as you know, they got married.

-..I don't think they ever stopped.

-So did Dad get told he had to keep away from her or...

-Yes.

-..was there things...?

-In fact, there was a really big do.

-Right.

-You know, he got really...

-Into trouble.

-Yeah.

-He did. Yeah.

They were a unit. There was no other word for it.

They were meant for one another, you know.

They did everything they could to be together.

It was a one, true love.

Like Heathcliff and... All over again.

Let's have a look at the photographs, then, Auntie Beryl, that you've brought. You start.

This is your dad. That was taken at Rhyl.

-I remember that.

-Wow.

-Wait till you see what I've got of my lads.

We all look the same and me when I was small, believe it or not.

-There's your mum and dad at the wedding.

-That one there, you mean?

-Yeah, yeah.

-You can have that because...

-Can I?

-..I've got a couple of them. Yes.

-Lovely, thank you.

-Yeah.

Let's look at your photographs, Dave.

-Oh, my God.

-Oh, my goodness. Look at that.

Wow.

-Oh, if only Mum and Dad had've seen these.

-Mmm.

Me mum seems to think that was me on me way home to the farm...

-When you were a...

-..the first day. Yes.

And the clothes I'm wearing there,

believe it or not, are in here.

The day that we met, the very, very first time,

we all sat there talking away and getting on really well

and me mum went down to her bag and come out with this.

And I'd never seen it.

And she said to Maureen, "You recognise these?"

Oh, my God.

And Maureen said, "Yes," she said, "Because I embroidered them."

And she couldn't believe me mum had still got them.

-And that's what I came...

-So that's...

-..that's what I came home in the first day.

-..that's what you came home in.

-Oh, my God.

Mum said, "How is it you've still got it?"

-And she said, "Cos I... I just wondered and thought maybe one day I could show you back again."

-Mmm.

Wow.

It really is amazing.

That is beautiful.

I can't believe she kept it.

Dave hasn't just been reunited with a sister and an aunt...

Let's have a group hug.

..he's now part of a large, extended family

that until a few years ago, he didn't know existed.

-Who is all these presents for?

-Are they yours, Elizabeth?

-Me!

-Wow.

-Birthday girl.

Dave seems a lovely man. Very pleased to have met him.

And to think he's part of me family so that's rather nice.

It's been a very good weekend.

I didn't expect half of what was going to happen and it's happened

and it's been good and, obviously, I've met more family so that's...

It's been a good ending to the story. And a new beginning.

ALL: Woo.

What a day. It's been absolutely fantastic.

I can't believe that it's took all these years...

FIREWORKS CRACKLING ALL: Woo.

..but, yeah, amazing.

Absolutely amazing.

I've loved every minute of it.