Episode 8 Family Finders

Families can be driven apart for all manner of reasons.

I had no information at all about where my mum went.

And when you do lose touch with your loved ones...

You don't know who you are, where you've come from.

..finding them can take a lifetime...

I might have a brother that's still living here.

..especially when they could be anywhere, at home or abroad.

And that's where the Family Finders come in.

From international organisations...

Hi, it's The Salvation Army Family Tracing Service.

..to genealogy detective agencies...

For them to say that it's changed their life, it makes coming to work,

you know, really, really special.

..and dedicated one-man bands...

It's a matter of how much effort you really want to put into it,

how badly you want to solve the problem.

..they hunt through history to bring families back together again.

Finding new families is wonderful.

In this series, we follow the work of the Family Finders...

Suddenly, you get one spark of breakthrough, and there they are.

..learning the tricks they use

to track missing relatives through time...

I didn't think I'd ever find sisters, but I have.

..and meeting the people whose lives they change along the way.

I've been waiting to meet John my whole life.

Since we've met, I feel part of a family again.

You just completed my life for me.

Families can lose contact for all sorts of reasons.

But in the history of human civilisation,

one thing above all others has been responsible

for tearing families apart - war.

Today, we follow the stories of two families,

both split up by the huge upheaval created by the Second World War

and both left unresolved for decades.

Wendy Stringer has been searching for answers

to a 70-year-old wartime family mystery.

She never got to see her son.

That she must have always loved.

And Maureen Cooper's search for her birth mother began

when they were split up by the conflict in Europe.

Inside, you feel,

you know, warm and fuzzy about meeting them cos you're nervous.

This is the first time.

For Mum as well, this is... This is a big moment for my mum.

Wendy Stringer was born in Wigan

as the Battle of Britain was being fought

in the skies over southern England.

My parents were married very young.

My mum was 17. My dad, 19.

They wanted to get married before he went to war.

A few months later, I was born, in June 1940.

Just before she was born,

Wendy's father, Ronald, was sent to fight in North Africa,

leaving his daughter and her mum, Marjorie,

in Wigan to face the war alone.

It was hard. It was quite difficult for my mother, really.

But life was about to get even harder.

My mum got a telegram.

And in this telegram, it said that my dad was missing, presumed dead.

I can remember her crying a lot, but I didn't understand.

I was too young to understand.

Wendy's father was missing in action.

Her mother assumed the worst.

But wartime life carried on for Wendy and Marjorie,

just two more innocent victims of a conflict that had engulfed millions,

until one day, two years later...

And then another telegram came saying that he had been found

with malaria and desert sores and loss of memory.

Ronald was alive.

Soon after, he returned home and met his daughter, Wendy,

for the very first time.

It wasn't until years later,

after Wendy had started a family of her own,

that she learned of her mother's wartime secret.

My mother said to me that my dad was missing, presumed dead,

and how upset she was.

Her two sisters wanted to take her out so that she wouldn't be so

upset, and she met an old school friend and she went out with him

for a while. And then she found out she was pregnant.

But then she found out that my dad was still alive.

Wendy's grandparents hastily made plans for the unborn baby

to be adopted.

My mum told me that we had gone to Cornwall,

where she had the baby and the adoption papers were signed.

I can remember her crying

as she told me.

I felt awful because I couldn't console her cos I was so...shocked

at what she was telling me. I couldn't take it in.

That was in 1960.

The subject of Wendy's half-brother was not mentioned again until after

the death of Wendy's father in 1993.

My mum started to talk about it and she said,

"I would love to meet my son before I died."

And I started to feel

that I should...we should do something.

All we'd got was the telephone directory, you know,

and nobody answered the phone,

or the ones that did, didn't know what we were talking about.

So we came to a dead end.

So we put that on one side.

And sadly, my mum died in 1999.

It wasn't until 2010 and I thought to myself,

"I've lived my threescore years and ten, you know,

"and I would love to see him, see what he's like,

"what he looks like," so I made it a quest to find him.

With very little information to go on, Wendy's husband, Graham,

took up the reins.

The only information

I had was his name, his place of birth

-and possibly a year.

-HE LAUGHS

My mother had found out

that his parents were called Sheriff and they'd called him John.

So we went through 192, Yell, everything I could find.

Nothing came up.

And then my son suggested that I use one of the social media websites,

and I found every John Sheriff that I could

that sort of fit within a one-year parameter.

And I sent every one of them a message.

We never heard anything. Nobody...

Not one person answered, so we gave it up as a bad job.

I thought to myself, "We're never going to find him now."

Cos nine months had passed and we hadn't heard.

Then, out of the blue, Wendy and Graham finally got a response.

I was just checking my e-mails and

one popped up from a John Sheriff.

And I thought, "Wow!"

So I opened it, and it said,

"I could be the person you're looking for."

100 miles away, 70-year-old Maureen Cooper had also been trying

to piece back together a family blown apart by the Second World War.

Maureen grew up in post-war Birmingham with her parents,

Robert and Mary, and her sister, Brenda.

Although the conflict had ended, the upheaval it had caused

for so many families was about to have a profound effect

on a young Maureen's life.

I didn't find out I was adopted until I was 11.

I'd had a row with my cousin Norma over the fence.

And she blurted out that I was adopted, just like her.

And I... "What's she mean?"

So I went running into Mum and I said, "Am I adopted?"

She said, "Yes, you're adopted." I was quite upset.

Then they explained it all.

They couldn't have children at the time.

They decided they would adopt.

Although Maureen had a happy childhood, as she grew up,

her thoughts often turned to her birth mother.

When you get a bit older, you think to yourself,

"I wonder what she looks like.

"I wonder what my natural mother looks like.

"I wonder if I could find her."

In those days, it wasn't the done thing, you know,

It was all kept sort of hush-hush.

But then, in 1965, on the day of her wedding,

Maureen's adoptive father dropped a bombshell.

My dad was in the bedroom and he said, "Here's your adoption papers.

"If you want to try and find your natural mum, you can."

"I don't know where she is." He said, "That's all I can tell you."

Obviously, I was looking at them.

Something you don't really do on your wedding day! But...

I was looking down at them and I thought, "Oh, my God."

Slowly, Maureen began to learn more about her background

and her birth mother, Dorothy.

My natural mum, she was married in 1938.

I was born in '45, so...

What I was told was that her husband had probably gone off to war.

It seems Maureen's mother, Dorothy, may have thought her husband

was killed in action and while he was away, she fell pregnant.

However, when Maureen was just six months old,

word reached her mother that her husband was returning.

All I know is that he was coming home from war and she had to get

rid of me before he got home, just had to get rid of me.

Put me in a... You know, ready for adoption.

Within a few months, Maureen was found a new home and began a new

life with her adoptive parents. It wasn't until years later, after they

had died and Maureen had children of her own, that she started

to consider finding her birth family.

We could see what it meant to Mum to

hopefully find, you know, part of

her family, and ideally, her mum.

Several years passed, without any results.

Then in 2011, Maureen was contacted by adoption agency.

But it wasn't the news she'd been expecting.

I had this phone call out of the blue.

She said, "We think we have found a sibling."

I said, "Really?"

I couldn't believe it. I was...

I was in awe! I thought, "You're joking!"

I said, "We think we've found somebody, you know, of mine!"

And, I know I got all excited, as you do.

You think, "God, after 50 years!"

And I was tickled pink, I really was.

Little did Maureen know that the search for her birth mother

was about to bring together two families separated by war.

To meet your family you've never met before,

it's exciting and scary and a little bit anxious about it

all in one go.

Hello.

Wendy and her husband, Graham, had been searching online

and on social media for Wendy's half-brother, John.

John had been born and then given up for adoption during the war.

But with no luck, Wendy had given up hope of ever finding her brother,

until one day, months later, when Graham was checking for messages.

And one popped up from a John Sheriff.

And it said, "I could be the person you're looking for."

And I thought, "Wow!"

We'd been on holiday, we arrived back and,

as you do when you get home,

you have to see if there are any messages, mails.

There was one there asking if John Sheriff,

who was born in 1942 or 1943,

was somebody I knew.

So I decided I would e-mail them back.

I gave him my phone number and he telephoned me.

And we had a quick discussion,

and then I gave the phone to Wendy,

which was quite emotional.

HE CHUCKLES

I just screamed.

I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it.

I thought all my birthdays had come at once.

And when I heard his voice, I said, "Is that really you?"

And he said, "Yes, it's me."

And we just talked for two hours solid.

John wasted no time in filling Wendy in on his life since being adopted

and discovered he had spent many years living just half an hour away.

I grew up in Stockport with my parents.

Happy, very happy. It was a lovely background.

And I first found out that I was adopted

when I was about seven or eight years old.

I always felt that it would be a bit cruel to my parents

to actually start chasing original family.

So I decided to leave well alone.

I thought it would be disrespectful for my family.

But after his adoptive parents died, John felt able to start

looking for his birth family. He began with his adoption papers.

There was no mention of a father,

but it did provide some other vital information.

It had my mother's name, Marjorie Hallon,

and I was born in Redruth.

I tried to contact the registrar in Redruth.

And I sent an application for a birth certificate,

putting all the information that I had from my adoption certificate.

The registrar spoke to me

and she said that she couldn't send me a birth certificate because I had

gotten the name incorrectly.

When I looked at the adoption certificate, and it looked right to

me, Hallon, H-A-L-L-O-N, so frustration kicked in

and she wasn't then able to tell me the correct spelling

and left me in limbo, to be truthful.

And there, John's search may have ended

were it not for the determination of his son.

On the birth certificate, it was Halton, not Hallon.

When I looked at the adoption certificate,

the L, the second L, hadn't been crossed.

John's son also discovered some other news

he had to break to his dad.

He said, "Your mum's died, sadly.

"She died in 1999."

Which was...quite upsetting,

you know, cos I would've liked to have...

I'd have liked to let her know that...

-EMOTIONAL:

-..that I'd been happy.

This simple administrative error had prevented John from making contact

with his mum before she died.

He'd done further research and found out that I had two sisters,

one who was born prior to me and one who was born after.

He said, "They don't live too far away,

"should we contact them?"

And I said, "No."

Being in between the two sisters and they having the same father and

me not having a father named made me more aware that there was...

a danger of upsetting by making an approach.

John put his search on hold.

What he didn't know was that one of his sisters, Wendy,

was looking for him.

But it was another ten years before they eventually make contact.

They've been making up for lost time ever since. But Wendy and John's

happiness at finding each other after all these years is tinged with

regret on both sides.

I just feel very selfish...

..that I didn't look for him while my mum was alive.

I feel guilty because she'd never saw him.

And it was her last wish, to see him.

She never got to see the son...

..that she must've always loved...

..but couldn't do anything about.

But I'm so pleased that we found him.

He's the most wonderful person.

-TEARFUL:

-He's so much like my mother.

If I'd pursued things in '98,

I'd have probably had the chance to actually meet my mother.

I think what would've been good about that

would have been to tell her that everything had been good.

But sadly, that didn't happen.

Today, Wendy and John are meeting up again.

John will be visiting his mother's grave for the first time.

The closer we get, the more emotional I feel.

Here it is.

Marjorie was buried on a family plot,

alongside husband, Ronald, and her parents.

SHE SNIFFLES

HE SIGHS

-Let's put the flowers in. Can I?

-You do it.

Thank you for, well, finding me.

It's just the most wonderful thing that's happened.

I...I... I'm just over the moon that, you know, we found you.

You meet after 70 years or whatever and it's as if

you've known each other all...

-all the time.

-It is, isn't it? Yeah.

Maureen Cooper had also been given up for adoption after being

born out of wedlock during the Second World War.

She had no luck tracing her birth mother.

But an adoption agency had discovered she had an older sister.

The agency put the two families in contact.

But it wasn't Maureen's sister who called...

So I rang the phone number and Terry, Maureen's husband, answered.

And I, of course, had to explain who I was.

The voice on the end of the phone belonged to Maureen's niece,

Adele, the daughter of her long-lost sister

who she discovered was called Christine.

But the news was bittersweet for Maureen.

My sister had died 12 years before.

But I did find out off Adele

that her mum, my sister,

was looking for me.

You know, I was glad somebody was looking for me.

But upset that, you know, my sister died and I'd never get to meet her.

Christine had died in 2000 at the age of 57.

Adele helped Maureen to fill in the missing gaps

about her sister's life.

My mother, Christine, was born in Birmingham

and was Carol Anne Hunt until she was three-and-a-half.

And then she was adopted by a family called the Parkers,

and they renamed her Christine Parker.

She met my father at a dance in St Catherine's.

And he'd been working in Cadbury's.

And they got married and they had my two brothers in England.

And then they moved back to Ireland and had my sister and myself.

For Mum to find out that she had a younger sister

would be just huge.

I think that's the saddest part of all of this.

It's lovely for us to have found Maureen,

but I think for my mother, it would have been huge. And for Maureen.

They were so close in age.

It would have been lovely for them to have found each other, yeah.

After making contact, Maureen went to Ireland to meet her

new-found nephews and nieces.

Today they are meeting up again in England.

It'll be the first time Maureen's sons, Mark and Matt,

will meet their long lost cousins.

It's like the culmination of something that's been

going on for years.

And to meet your family, your extended family that you've never

met before, I can't quite imagine how the moment is going to be.

And it's exciting and scary and, you know,

a little bit anxious about it all in one go.

They know I've got two boys and,

obviously, they would like to meet both of you.

-So today's the day.

-Yeah.

-Yeah, well exciting.

-Yeah.

Can't wait. Can't wait.

Inside, you feel, you know, warm and fuzzy about meeting them.

Because you're nervous cos, you know, this is the first time.

And for Mum as well. This is a big moment for my mum.

Waiting to meet them are all of Christine's children -

Philip, Patrick, Donna and Adele.

-Hi!

-All right.

THEY LAUGH

-Hello.

-Hello.

-Oh, great.

-Isn't it just?

-Yeah.

-Tired?

-Oh, hi, Philip.

-Hi. How are you?

-Mark is it?

-Matt.

-Matt, sorry.

-That's Matt. Sorry.

-How are you?

-Good, good.

Christine's children have brought with them

some family archive that Maureen has never seen before.

OK, these are some pictures that we brought. That's Mum

when she was about six, I'd imagine. I can see the resemblance there.

-Yeah. It's the same. Uncanny.

-That's her wedding dress.

-And that one.

-It's quite like yours, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-You can see the resemblance, then?

-Oh, yeah. Definitely.

Through his mother's passion for writing and painting,

Philip can also reveal that her unknown birth family were

never far from Christine's thoughts.

And then we brought these as well.

-These... She used to write short stories.

-Oh, right.

But she used a pen name - Hunt.

-Really?

-That's interesting.

Yeah. She used to sign them Christine Hunt.

Oh.

And then I have a photograph of a painting.

But she used to use a pen name for painting, which was Carol Anne Hunt.

Which was her birth name.

-Yeah, that's right, cos that's on the birth certificate.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

That's a little biography that she wrote,

and there's the actual document with her handwriting on it.

And her signature, Christine Hunt.

-Her handwriting is similar to yours as well.

-I know!

-Really?

-Yeah, absolutely.

-It's so uncanny, this is.

-It's so uncanny, yeah.

It really is.

Goes to show how much your genes have an influence on your life,

-doesn't it?

-Crazy.

And Maureen has some memories of her own to share.

These are of me when I was... I think I was about three on that one.

You were born Hunt.

-Yeah.

-What name had you here?

-Truman.

-Truman, OK.

-Yeah.

-They're lovely.

You couldn't make it more complicated, could you?

No, you couldn't.

This is the wedding one.

Terry was 21 and I was 19.

Same age as Mum when she got married.

-Yeah, the same.

-What church is that?

-St John's.

-In Birmingham?

-Yep.

-And it snowed.

-It snowed. The night before we got married.

The same with Mum's wedding.

-It snowed.

-Did it?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Both got married at the same age, both did nursing,

both have amazing looking children.

-THEY LAUGH ALL:

-Yeah!

Maureen's family is just one of millions that were left

devastated and divided by the Second World War.

The consequences of this conflict mean Maureen will now never

get to meet her birth mother or sister. But from today,

at least the next generation of their family is reunited.

-ALL:

-Whoo!

-Hey!

-THEY LAUGH

Today has been...fantastic!

I'm really pleased.

And now that I've been able to catch up and little bits of snippets

come out, you know. But, yeah, it's been great.

They are relatives. I mean, all of them.

You know? And it's...

..brilliant. I am so pleased.

A toast to Carol Anne Hunt.

-Yes.

-Carol Anne Hunt.

-ALL:

-Cheers.

-It's been fab. Really, really very special.

-They've been brilliant.

It's a long time that my mum's been looking.

You kind of thought it was never ever going to happen.

And now it's happened.

Mum's not a particularly emotional person, and now, today, stood

right next to her, you could feel how pleased and excited she was.

It sort of completes everything for her.

-Really, really nice feeling.

-Yeah.

They're a great bunch of people as well.

-PHILIP:

-Mum would be very proud that we found them.

And I'm so happy for Auntie Maureen that she's found closure.

She is a wonderful woman and I'm just very happy for her.

It's almost like the final piece in the jigsaw puzzle for all of us.

It's lovely to know now the that we will keep in contact,

and with the next generation coming through.

And seeing us all together in the one room, it really is a family.

From Mum's history, we have another side to our story,

another chapter.

That's all I need to mention.

50 years...

Yeah, it's been a long time coming. But it has paid off.

It's nice when you find what you're looking for.