Zante Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents

The freedom of your first ever holiday with your mates.

THEY CHANT

Where everyone's up for it...

I'm not missing home!

..and anything goes.

Cheap booze...

I am really drunk.

Leave me alone.

Dirty dancing...

And that all-important independence.

HE GROANS

Away from Mum and Dad.

I hope my mum does never watch this.

Sorry, Dad!

But what the teenagers don't know is that the parents are coming too.

That's disgusting!

Secretly watching...

Can we have just five minutes?

He's an absolute bloody disgrace, he is.

..sneakily spying...

This programme contains strong language.

..and outrageously hiding.

Tricky. Tricky.

All to see if their kids can stand on their own two feet.

It's the one thing that we said we didn't want to see.

I'm starting to wonder if I even know Ashley.

I'm shocked.

He's dead.

Will the parents like what they see...

You've turned from a girl to a woman.

..as the teenagers get the shock of their lives?

What?!

Oh!

Oh, my God! Why are you on my holiday?

Coming up...

can two 18-year-olds who lead completely different lives...

Yeah, bitches!

..survive a week away from their parents in Zante?

Right, I honestly just need to go home, lads.

Scouser Phil says goodbye to his traditionally-minded mum and dad.

Just make sure that you treat girls out there with the same respect

that you would treat girls at home.

But with 60 condoms packed, he tries anything to pull.

Get your fried eggs out!

What?!

Spoilt teen Cian

leaves to go on his first holiday away from his overprotective mum...

You've got flip-flops, haven't you?

So don't go out without your shoes on.

..and has something to get off his chest.

I came out as gay when I was 16.

I sort of like expect my mum to come to terms with it,

but in a way I sort of haven't come to terms with it myself.

But when the parents go undercover to spy on their kids,

will it all be too much to take...

I really don't want to watch any more.

Can we have just five minutes?

Just so I can go outside and scream.

..before Phil and Cian get the surprise of their lives?

Cian, I've been watching you.

Oh, my God.

This programme contains strong language.

-These going in?

-Yeah, a nice pair of boxys.

And you roll your boxys as well.

In Liverpool, 18-year-old builder and modern man Phil

is getting ready to go on holiday.

I do like to look after meself.

I'm always on the sunbeds and I like to whiten me teeth.

So, yeah, I'd say I'm pretty vain.

The youngest of four children, Phil's the last one living at home

with traditionally-minded dad Bob and doting mum Wendy.

-He takes his appearance very seriously.

-Hmm.

But it's nice though, I think it's a nice trait.

I think so.

What is it, what is it, a meta what?

-They call it "metrosexual" in Liverpool.

-Metrosexual.

And it's another word for just looking after yourself, basically.

I hope so!

But there's a clear generation gap

between Phil and former navy man, 61-year-old Bob.

I'd say me dad's quite strict,

cos me dad's like, I think me dad's like 60 or something.

What are you going to do while you're there, you going to behave?

I'm going to be a typical lad, aren't I? These might come in handy.

The condoms in, so I've got two packs, two packs of 30.

-60?!

-I'll just be on the safe side, yeah.

Your mother's just told me that a certain amount of, erm,

bits and bobs have been secreted in your bloomin' suitcase upstairs -

60 of 'em!

-Hm.

-60?!

-Yeah.

-What are you, Superman?

But for mum Wendy, her youngest son can do no wrong.

Me mum describes me as being this wonderful son that she has.

He's got a lovely personality, he's caring, erm,

and I genuinely just think he's a nice lad.

He's your little soldier, isn't he, love?

Me relationship with me mum and dad,

I don't think me mum and dad know me.

Well, the house rule is I won't let a girl stay over,

cos I just think it's respect, at the end of the day, really.

This bed actually has seen quite a bit of action.

Just make sure that you treat girls out there with the same respect

that you would treat girls at home. Just cos you're on holiday...

Yeah, but that's the thing, we're all on holiday.

-It doesn't matter.

-Holiday romances.

It doesn't matter, you still treat women with respect.

So, what do Bob and Wendy hope to get out of this experience?

It'll be just interesting to see that other side to Philip, really.

I don't know - is that a good thing or bad thing,

to see that other side to your kids that you don't know?

I would be hoping to be able to see a side of Philip

to show us that we've done a reasonably good job on him.

It's what it means, going out there.

Have an absolute ball with me mates, get speaking to some girls,

trying got get some girls back to the hotel.

I get called a slag quite often by my mates.

See how many times I get lucky!

Hoping to get lucky with Phil are two old mates.

I think we should just cancel Phil out in this game.

Mark has actually done a 51-year-old.

Best friend and fellow ladies man, Mark...

-We want to threesome someone, don't we? It will be funny.

-Yeah.

We want to high-five halfway through it just for banter.

-Oh, my God.

-It'll be hilarious.

-See who I've got to go away with here, you know?

-Yeah.

..and the sensible one of the group, Mike.

Me mum's got it all to come,

she'll see a completely different side to me on TV

when she watches this back, deffo.

And me dad, for that reason. She's got, they've got...

They've got it all to come.

This is no good, this, mate.

I'm taking, like, three weeks' worth of clothes for, like, a week.

Clothes are like my weakness.

Also going to Zante is 18-year-old Cian,

who's the youngest of three brothers.

Have you got any sun cream, Cian?

I definitely like to be centre of attention,

I like all the eyes to be on me.

Now his brothers have moved out, Cian lives at home in Cheltenham

with over-protective mum Angela and her partner of ten years, John.

Have you got... Have you got swimming trunks, toothbrush?

'I'm like her youngest, so she still treats me like a baby'

even though I'm like 18 and an adult.

He is quite spoilt.

Angela and John run a successful property development company

from home.

We work hard, erm, I'm not sure we've...

We try to instil a work ethic in Cian.

He sees we've got a nice lifestyle because we work hard,

so hopefully it'll rub off.

Like, my family are well off and stuff,

and I do have a car and stuff. In some ways I'd say I'm spoilt.

In three months, Cian leaves home for university,

and mum Angela is concerned how he'll cope without her.

He's not got anyone running around making him tea, food and, er,

picking up his stuff off the floor.

I do wonder how he's going to cope with that.

-Check you've got your passport?

-No.

You haven't got your passport?

I don't actually know where my passport is.

You don't know where your passport is?

No that's... That's totally your job.

So, for mum Angela, this trip is a chance to see

just how much her spoilt-rotten son, Cian,

will struggle living away from home.

It would be nice to see what... How he relates with his friends,

it'll be nice to see what he does on a night out, erm,

it'd be nice to see him grow up a little bit.

Two years ago, Cian revealed something

which changed the dynamic of his close relationship with his mum.

When Cian came out as being gay, it was quite a shock,

because he didn't really tell me, he just brought a boy home,

and when I spoke to Cian about it, he said that he thought I knew, erm,

but I don't know why he thought I'd know because there were no signs.

I'd say she is still getting her head around it, but I'm not really

open about relationships and stuff, I don't tell her stuff like that.

She doesn't know any of the people I've slept with,

or anything like that.

And don't drink the tap water.

So what does Cian hope to get from his week away from home?

I literally can't wait,

because I'm just going to be able to do what I want

and, like, break all the rules.

But little does he know,

Angela and John will be watching his every move, and they'll be

checking that he's following their rules, of which there's a fair few.

You've got flip-flops, haven't you?

All right, so don't go out without your shoes on.

Don't speak to any strangers, don't go back to their room or anything.

Stay together, OK? Don't let the girls on their own.

No more than two units of alcohol a day. Yeah?

-Are you for real, Mum?

-Yeah.

Sun cream's a must, absolute must.

Yeah...

-To Zante!

-Zante!

-Woo!

Joining Cian on holiday are...

-I'm sensible.

-No, you're not.

-No, you're not.

How am I not sensible?

..mother hen Sam...

We're going to drink as much as possible, as much as we can stomach.

..best friend and future uni flatmate, Jade...

In our first 24 hours, we're going to get drunk.

That's what our money is going on - booze. We don't care about food.

..and wild child Corey.

We have to have a rule,

if someone pulls they have to put, like,

a hat on the door or something.

In Liverpool,

it's time for Phil to say his goodbyes.

-Have a lovely time.

-Yeah, will do.

Mwah! I'll miss you. Now, listen, be good.

-Yeah.

-Be good, be careful.

-Behave yourself.

But little does he know it's only goodbye for now,

as his parents will be coming along too, spying on his every move.

You're going to see us a damn sight quicker than you think.

-Yeah.

-Ta-rah!

I'm just buzzing to get out there, get all fanny.

Telling you. Telling you...

You're like a dog on heat.

In Cheltenham, Cian's also heading off

on his first ever parent-free holiday.

Or at least that's what he thinks.

Be good. We'll know if you haven't been!

We'll know.

A drink to Zante.

What are you like?

What are you like?!

Oh, shit, this is going to go over my two units. Damn(!)

Damn it(!)

The beautiful Greek island of Zante,

famed for its crystal-blue water, golden beaches and stunning scenery.

It's also one of the hottest party islands in the Med.

Each year, thousands of revellers descend on the resort of Laganas,

looking for sun, fun and an endless supply of cheap booze.

Oh, this is right, boys.

Joining the party are Phil, Mark and Mike.

I can actually smell fanny already.

-What are you trying to do?

-It's not going to fit.

Phil's brought a big case with us and we can't fit it in.

It's cos you brought your hairdryer and straighteners. Stop pushing.

Mike has a room to himself

and Phil and Mark, the ladies' men, are sharing.

Oh, here we are, boys,

this isn't too bad. I mean, the pool's a bit small, but...

Apparently the view inside their room

is less interesting than the one outside.

Ah, there's some birds in the Jacuzzi there, lad, over there.

There's another one. I've got dibs on her in the blue. She's all right.

Listen, mate, the thing is, you've got dibs on her,

but she doesn't have dibs on you.

It's none of these.

But things aren't looking so good for Cian.

-I don't think your, erm, bag's here.

-Shut up.

Right, is this it coming up?

No, they've fucking lost my case, it fucking takes the piss.

Apparently it's still in Gatwick.

For fashion-conscious Cian,

losing his entire wardrobe is a disastrous start to his holiday.

I'm so pissed off.

We need to get speaking to them - fact.

We need to speak to them soon as.

Less than an hour after landing,

and Phil's already ignoring Mum's rule on respecting women.

She's quite nice as well, in the pool right there,

that ginger one. Mate, I wouldn't last two seconds.

Just make sure you leave me with your room key.

I honestly would not last two seconds.

At the other end of town, no-clothes Cian and his gang

have finally arrived at their hotel.

Oh, my God, that is so awesome.

Jade's sharing with Sam.

I like it.

And Corey and Cian are in the room next door.

This is so awesome.

-Argh!

-Ahhh!

I might go and unpack, because I can.

Fuck you. Oh, I'm just going to whale out on here.

Without even a pair of swimming shorts to his name,

Cian's not feeling the holiday spirit.

Well, I did want to sleep, but now I'm too angry to sleep.

He said he's just not going to do anything

until his suitcase get's here, cos he's literally like...

I don't think he'll want to go out...

No, it's his life in a bag.

Or his holiday life in a bag, and, like, he doesn't have any makeup.

As the sun goes down on Zante, the party starts up.

Which do you think - should I wear this skirt?

Yeah, definitely that one.

Oh, my God, you look so hot, Jade.

Should I just wear this?!

Despite having to borrow clothes,

Cian's decided he can't miss their first night out.

I don't care if they lost my suitcase, I'm just going out anyway.

I'm literally just going to get drunk.

In no time, Cian's revelling in being the centre of attention.

Next, he hits the laughing gas, considered dangerous by some.

Fucking yeah, bitches!

It's pretty wild right now.

I'm pretty fucked, and who gives a shit?

We're going to go, like, down there somewhere, so who knows.

Cian leads Sam and Corey off in search of the next party,

leaving behind his best friend and future housemate, Jade,

another rule broken.

It's 11 o'clock.

Phil, Mark and Mike are also making the most

of Zante's legendary nightlife.

Can I have three shots of Sambuca?

It's boss! It's boss!

I'm telling you, it's birds all round, mate.

Ladies man Mark is already getting to know some fellow partygoers.

Some bird just put her hand

down Mark's pants and touched his willy.

And I was like, "What? She's game here."

I mean, we've still got seven nights of this to come, so bring it on!

Every single girl I see I think, "Yeah, she's fit!"

He's like a leech!

I'm like a fly on shit!

In an effort to impress the ladies, Phil splashes the cash.

Three, two, one!

But after four hours on the town, too much cheap fizz

means there's only one way the night is going to end.

Right, I honestly need to go home, lads.

I literally need me bed, I can't stand up.

Looks like Phil won't be getting any female company tonight.

Yeah, I'm fucking fucked out my head.

With no sign of her friends,

Jade is still being looked after by strangers.

Where's Cian?

An hour and a half after being separated from Jade,

mum of the group Sam

and party boy Corey are reunited with her.

But there's no sign of Cian.

Corey and I were looking around for her, just trying to find Jade,

then we found her. She was, like, passed out.

I've never seen her in a state like this before.

As Jade's condition deteriorates, Sam takes action.

I called her an ambulance

and she's just being taken into the medical centre to be looked after.

And at last, they've located the final member of the group.

Cian's by himself at the hotel.

And Cian found his way back home to the hotel.

It's been an eventful first night.

I'm so hung-over!

11.00am.

I feel absolutely horrific.

After four hours in hospital on a drip, Jade has been discharged.

I didn't know about Jade.

I fell over and then I got covered in drink

and then I came back and showered,

and then I was, like, locked out the room,

and then I didn't really know what happened,

and then I got told that Jade was in hospital afterwards,

so I didn't actually know about Jade.

Yeah, but your best friend's dying!

I remember leaving the hospital.

It's very, like, scary to find out

that your best friend's, like, in hospital,

cos, obviously, I wish I was there to help her and support her.

Please, stop!

Phil, too, is feeling a little delicate.

-Come on.

-Oh, I haven't felt like this in all me life!

-Come on.

-Do you know what's making me feel ill?

-What?

-That champagne we had.

I don't remember having champagne.

It's not going down too well. I feel pretty sick, to be honest.

But for Phil and Cian, things are about to get worse.

A lot worse.

At the airport, the parents have landed.

-Hello!

-Hi there!

Nice to meet you!

My name's Bob, this is Wendy.

Oh, the heat out here, Wendy! My word!

-We've got a son, he's 18.

-Oh, the same as our Phillip, yeah.

Oh, all right, same as your son? Oh, lovely.

-Phil is the youngest.

-The youngest?

-He's the last one.

-Oh, right. Cian is too.

Oh, I hope you're not like Wendy, though.

So do you baby Philip cos he's the youngest?

-Yeah.

-Yeah!

Yeah, it sounds a bit like Cian. A bit spoiled.

Well, you see, I don't think that's unusual.

What do you think they're going to be like?

-Oh, I'm so nervous!

-Me too.

So nervous.

The parents approach the strip.

If they're spotted now, it will be game over.

Well, it's certainly not the sort of place we would normally go to.

Oh, there's no way, if you brought me here on holiday!

Oh, I like a Mediterranean resort,

but I must admit, we've been to Benidorm a few times.

Now, that IS an eye-opener!

I think they're all drinking already. In the bars.

Did you see that?

Having seen the strip...

It's very hot, isn't it?

..the parents check into their hotel

and get ready to watch what their children got up to

in their first 24 hours away from home.

I'm actually feeling a bit nervous

about finding out what Cian does of an evening,

because a lot of teenagers are binge-drinking.

I'm hoping he'll surprise us in a nice way. Hopefully.

-This should be interesting.

-Gosh!

Here we go.

First to view are Phil's traditionally-minded parents,

Bob and Wendy.

Right, here we go, here's our Phil.

-Now it's our kid.

-Stand by!

I can actually smell the fanny already.

-THEY GASP

-I'm going to kill him!

Lick it! Lick it! Proper smell it, la!

There, that ginger one. Mate, I wouldn't last two seconds.

Just make sure you leave me with your room key!

I honestly would not last two seconds.

I'd put a Johnny on it and would just blow, straight away.

-It's harmless fun though, isn't it? Harmless fun.

-I hope so.

Yeah, it is, harmless fun.

A bit of respect wouldn't go amiss, particularly for himself.

Just wishful thinking!

I was a bit shocked, as I say, about how graphic it is,

but then again... I don't know, it's hard.

Nothing a bit of masking tape wouldn't cure.

-THEY LAUGH

-What's next?

Oh, God!

Can I have three shots of Sambuca?

I can't stand up properly,

I need to sit down, lads.

He's had a little bit too much to drink! "I need to sit down!"

-Overall?

-OK.

Yeah, yeah.

Subtle stakes that need a little bit of tweaking,

but in general...not bad, not bad.

-It's what teenagers do, isn't it?

-It is, it is.

Time for mum Angela and boyfriend John

to see if Cian's been sticking to their holiday rules.

SCREAMING AND CHANTING

He's being egged on to drinking.

-Yeah, that Sam's egging him on.

-Yeah.

Oh, my God! Not more!

Oh, they look like they're having a good time!

I'm glad they're all sticking together and harmless fun so far.

I need to pee.

Hang on, hang on. Have some water.

-Oh, no, is that the ambulance?

-Oh, dear!

We found her, she was, like, passed out

and we called an ambulance

and she's just been taken into the medical centre to be looked after.

I know Cian's by himself at the hotel.

Tsk, the end.

-Hmm!

-That's shocking, isn't it?

I wasn't expecting that.

And Cian, of course, went back on his own,

so he must have been in a bad way.

And I'm surprised he got separated.

I am surprised they got separated.

Yeah, that was one of the things I said.

"Don't get separated. Stick together and..."

-I did think they would have stuck together.

-Yeah, I did.

-Especially on the first night.

-Yeah.

I was relying on her to look after Cian when they went to university.

I thought, of all of them, she would be the most sensible,

-like the mother of the group.

-Yeah.

It does make you wonder

-if they're going to get through the week, doesn't it?

-Yeah.

We thought Jade was the sensible one and was going to perhaps...

-So we got that well-wrong!

-..rein Cian in.

We got it well-wrong.

But maybe that first day of excess will make her see sense. So...

It might just teach them all a lesson maybe.

I'm hoping that as the week goes by

they'll sort of calm down a little bit

and that initial excitement

and initial, "Let's get out and get absolutely drunk," you know,

hopefully will sort of subside a little bit.

Across town, there's a much-anticipated delivery for Cian.

Argh!

His precious suitcase has finally turned up.

Fucking yeah!

No, not in the deep end!

Now the holiday can really begin.

And away from his mum, Cian's thinking about

what life will be like when he leaves home for university.

It hasn't hit me yet that I am actually moving away

and I'm moving away from my family and my friends and stuff.

I think my mum is going to miss me, cos she won't let me go.

I'm, like, her youngest and she doesn't want me to go just yet.

Across town,

Phil appears to have forgotten his mum's rule about respecting women.

-That's not how you spell "list!"

-THEY LAUGH

Last night's failure to use any of his 60 condoms

has focused his determination to pull.

Before we came out here, me and the boys had a little game plan

what we were going to do.

What we want to achieve while we're out here.

Threesome.

It's like a little list of things that we want to tick off

before the end of the week.

Neck a fatty! Neck a ginger!

He's getting laid.

Sorted.

And where better to start box-ticking...

Some champers!

..than a Zante booze cruise?

This is our party, it's our type of party.

Chilled, a bit more classy,

but everyone's having a boss time. I think she's fit.

Buzz on.

But it's not just Phil enjoying life on the ocean waves.

Mum and Dad are coming too, or at least, that's the plan.

Bob, looking at that boat, I'm not going to be able to do it.

Just weeks ago, Wendy had a hip replacement.

-So you're going to go on your own?

-I'm a gladiator, I'll sort it.

Bob takes to the sea, sailing solo.

Phil is getting into the party spirit...

SCREAMING

..blissfully unaware that his ex-navy dad

is heading straight for him.

SQUEALING

I think there's a lot of dancing going on, on there,

and a lot of drinking.

LOUD DANCE MUSIC

Now we can hear the music from this distance here now as well,

and you can see all the kids,

all the young people having a fine old time.

And somewhere amongst that lot is my son.

Phil looks like he's enjoying himself,

every couple of minutes he's getting a three-way kiss.

And it happens again and again and again.

Spot-on!

Worried he's going to be spotted, Bob returns to shore.

And just in time, because in the melee off-camera,

Phil gets frisky with yet another girl.

Hey, Phil, what did you do?

I fingered her.

I fingered that bird's gash.

Prawn. The sausage wallet.

The dangle ham. She was fit.

Smell!

Unaware what Phil eventually got up to,

back on terra firma, Bob fills Wendy in.

-Oh, hiya!

-Hello, love.

You missed a good one. You really did.

Is it like a disco on a boat?

It's a mobile disco on a boat, yeah, with plenty of booze, yeah.

That bump, bump, bump!

At their hotel, Cian and his crew

are customising T-shirts for tonight's paint party.

Got to have me nips out!

And he's determined not to repeat last night's antics.

Tonight I'm sort of just set out to have a good night.

Maybe more together tonight.

Sort of bonding as a foursome,

rather than us going off and doing our own thing.

Being away from home

has also given Cian time to consider his relationship with mum Angela.

I came out as gay when I was 16.

I sort of like expect my mum to come to terms with it,

but in a way, I still haven't come to terms with it myself.

I've never spoke to her about this.

But I'd love to talk to her more about it and stuff,

but I don't feel I will.

The booze cruise is over.

Bolstered by his conquests...

Me and Mark pulled!

..and after five hours of drinking,

Phil decides to try his luck again.

Get your football studs out!

My football studs?! What?!

Get your fried eggs out!

They're not fried eggs!

They're a little bit bigger than fried eggs!

Show us your burger nips!

Oh, my God! You did not just say that!

How big is your cock, like, two inches?

I'll whack it out right now.

Yeah, go on, whack it out! Whack it out then, whack it out!

-I'll put it in your gob.

-Get your fried eggs out!

-Can I put it in your gob?

-Whack your tiny little dick out.

-Can I put it in your gob?

-No.

Well, fuck that then.

There's no point in whacking it out then, is there?

Arriving back in Zante...

See you later, burger nips!

Hey! Stop trying to squeeze my willy!

..the boys head back to their hotel

with their checklist still un-ticked.

But the fun's just starting for Cian and his gang,

as they get drenched at a paint party.

What he doesn't know is, nearby,

two other revellers are getting ready to join him.

We're going to go and see how the group's getting on,

how they're interacting first hand.

We want to get really close.

As Cian takes to the stage...

We're sitting amongst the rubbish.

..he has no idea that Mum and John

are in an alley outside the club watching his every move.

Erm, the things we do as parents to see what our kids are up to!

The mind boggles.

-Oh, my God! Oh, messy!

-Oh, God, they're covered in paint.

-Oh, that is a lot of paint.

-They look as if they're having fun, though.

-Shall we see if we can get in there?

-Yeah, let's go for it.

Throwing caution to the wind, Angela and John sneak into the club.

DJ: Big shout-out to the Ghostbusters.

Cian's totally unaware that Mum and John

are only metres away on the balcony.

DJ: I think someone covered these people in paint. I don't care how.

And now the person at the end of the paint gun is his mum.

Put you faces on them. Touch yourselves, touch each other.

-We did it.

-Fantastic, fantastic.

-We got them, we sprayed them with paint,

we were that close. They were right next to us.

Yeah. Real, real close. They were on the stage.

Yeah, that place is buzzing.

Everyone was looking at us and they didn't recognise us,

it's so funny, it was awesome.

-The mask really works.

-We were dancing, they were dancing.

They didn't spot us, it's amazing.

It's 1am, and reassured that Cian and his friends

are sticking together, Angela and John head home.

But there's no stopping a paint-sodden Cian.

Yeah! Fucking yeah!

Tonight, Cian's determined to be the centre of attention.

They're all going to get my name tattooed on them.

-What, real tattoo?

-No, henna, henna.

Oh, yeah! Look at my shirt. I need some more alcohol.

I need a shower.

I am so sober right now.

Let's go wash, then we're coming back out.

No, fuck going home to wash, that's just fucking lame.

To Cian's disgust, two of the gang head off for a shower...

Jade and Corey are so fucking boring.

..leaving Sensible Sam to try and control Cian.

-Cian, out of the way of the bus.

-Cian, Cian, Cian!

Cian, what did I just say?

Scared for my life right now, I nearly got run over by a bus.

Cian's on the teetering of almost very drunk,

so I'm keeping an eye on him.

Time to break yet another of mum Angela's rules by going barefoot.

"Don't go barefoot, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh." Whatever.

She's not here, so how is she even going to know?

I just stood on a lit cigarette and it fucking killed.

Jade and Corey return,

but Cian isn't interested in anyone but himself.

We look beautiful now.

-That's no...

-We're back.

-Yeah, they're back.

Fuck them. I've just got my name tattooed on nine people.

He's being a little diva, it's really pissing everyone off

and I can't be fucked and we should just go on without him.

We're going to Showboat with or without you, so...

Anyway, so I have 11 people with my name tattooed on them. 11.

We don't care, we want to go.

I'm just saying I have 11 people with my name...

We're going to Showboat with or without you.

'Cian's is being really, really, really annoying,

'so we're not going to talk to him until the morning when he's sober.'

By the time the evening ends at 6am,

they head home with Cian just about in tow.

And you can all walk fast as you like,

but I'm not going to keep up with you

because I'm walking like a bitch right now.

At their hotel,

the parents are preparing themselves to watch last night's footage.

I seen him on the booze cruise enjoying himself,

obviously having plenty to drink.

I wouldn't really like to see him carry on through the night

drinking to excess.

We were pleased that they were sticking together last night,

which was nice. The thing I'd like to see

is that they went home not long after we left.

Time for Bob and Wendy to see

whether Phil's been following Mum's advice to respect women.

I think he can tick that off his list.

Oh, he's going to catch something, he is.

Put them down, you dirty dog.

He's definitely got to go to the dentist after that. He really has.

What a player, what a player.

-He's going to be bringing all kinds back with him.

-He's doing well.

-Oh, my word.

-He's like a rabid dog. Crazy, crazy.

Oh, great fun.

I fingered that bird's gash. Her puffin, her prawn.

Her sausage wallet, her dangle ham.

I'm going to have words with you, lad!

She was fit, and I've also pied her. Three fingers. Smell.

PARENTS GROAN

That's so embarrassing.

That wasn't nice.

That really wasn't, that was, erm... Going above and beyond.

-Yeah.

-It was.

I am quite shocked by what I've just seen.

That is, erm...another side to Philip that I didn't know existed.

And it's quite difficult to watch it as well,

cos I thought he had a lot more respect for himself

and a lot more respect for women.

It's a late 20th, 21st century phenomenon,

I think, that's coming out nowadays.

The kids seem to enjoy actually being revolting.

The only thing I can say in his favour is,

-he does not carry on like that in front of me and his mum.

-Mm.

He wouldn't dare.

But there's more to come for Bob and Wendy.

Show us your fried eggs. Show us your burger lips.

How big is your cock, like, two inches?

I'll come and whack it out right now.

Yeah, go on, go on. Whack it out, whack it out, then. whack it out.

-Can I put it in your gob?

-Get your fried eggs out.

-Can I put it in your gob?

-Whack your tiny dick out.

-Can I put it in your gob?

-No.

Well, fuck that then, there's no point in whacking it out, is there?

Oh, he's so drunk. I don't want to watch any more.

Can we have just five minutes?

Just so I can go outside and scream for a bit,

then I'll come back in again.

-WENDY GASPS

-Come on.

He's an absolute bloody disgrace, he is.

You all right?

I think I've realised that I'm too naive

and it's quite a shock for me cos I've never, ever seen that at home.

After a ten-minute break, Bob and Wendy return.

-Are you OK?

-Yeah, I'm fine.

-Right.

-Are you all right?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, yeah.

You feel like putting a banner out saying, "Sorry about my son."

I am shocked about it. I really thought Philip had

-so much more respect for himself.

-Mm.

-And for girls.

-I've got a totally different opinion of him now.

-There's a whole culture with that age group.

-There is, yeah.

-Yeah.

And unless it's right there in your face,

you don't know what your kids are doing.

Next to view is Angela and John.

-Oh.

-Uh-oh.

-Here we go.

Yeah, fucking yeah!

-Look.

-Oh, God.

-He's sounding well...

-Well-gone.

-Well-gone.

-It's all down to alcohol.

-Yeah.

-When they haven't had a drink...

-They lose their inhibitions.

..they're fine, they're compos mentis, sensible.

-As soon as they've had a drink, that's it.

-Next one?

-Yeah.

It's taken me like a long time to come to terms with my sexuality,

and me and my mum have a really close relationship and stuff,

but I've never spoke to her about this,

but I'd love to talk to her more about it and stuff,

but I don't feel I will.

-Mmm. BOB:

-Very sensible young man.

I feel quite sad about that, erm...

I think I assumed he was talking to people about it.

You know, I thought he had that support.

-He's doing very well.

-Yeah.

-He really is.

I'm really proud of him. But I feel I've let him down a bit,

that I've not... That he's not been able to talk to me.

No. That will come in time.

-Yeah.

-What we've got to do is support him. And I think that's what we do.

-Yeah.

-I think I just don't know how to support him, I don't feel...

-Just being his mum.

-Yeah, I don't feel that I know how to support him.

We've just got to be there.

It's been a difficult viewing for both sets of parents.

But they have all learned something.

At least I know how he's feeling.

He's obviously found it difficult to talk to me,

so now, I can take charge of that and open up a chat.

Yeah, it has been a big learning curve for us,

and I think if you put 100% of children,

80% of them will let themselves down when they're not at home

and allowed to do whatever they want.

-But to have to watch that is painful, isn't it?

-It is.

Because deep down, he is a nice lad.

Across town in the freedom of being away from Mum and Dad's rules,

Phil's perspective is a little different.

Me mum did tell to me to treat girls like I would treat me sister,

erm, but no, I'm on holiday, I want to enjoy myself.

There's a massive generation gap between me and me parents,

me dad's like 60, he's getting on.

There's always questions asked. When you bring people home,

he's always one for asking me to keep me bedroom door open,

keep the light on, sit downstairs.

So, yeah, when you're on holidays there's nothing to worry about

in that sense, you can just get on and do what you want to do.

"Do not speak to strangers." Erm, I've definitely spoke to strangers.

Cian is also relishing his independence

away from his mum and her lists.

My mum's given me this set of, like, list of rules and stuff

that I can't do. I aim to break all of them before the end of the week.

His mum had hoped this holiday would prove Cian was grown-up enough

to look after himself at university.

I sort of can't picture myself at uni,

I can't picture myself doing all the work.

I can sort of picture myself going out every night.

I'm going to spend my student loan in the first month.

# We like to sleep all day and party all night

# This is how we like to live our life. #

But for now, all thoughts of uni are banished,

as the gang hit the strip for another night out.

-It's going fucking amazing, like.

-Free drinks!

We're all fucked right now, it's an open bar,

we came outside for some air cos it's so hot in there.

DRUNKEN CHEERING

It's midnight and at his hotel,

Phil's having a few drinks to get into the party spirit.

I wouldn't say the more drunk I get, me personality changes,

I'd say the more drunk I get, a bit more confidence I get.

Erm, like, i.e. with girls.

Mike, then, it's just me and you.

Just me and you left, let's go.

Mark is spending the evening with a girl.

But Phil's still got 60 condoms to get through,

so he and Mike are heading into town.

-I'm in the mood to get absolutely trollied.

-Let's 'ave it.

Show us the pussy.

Mark may not have made it out, but Phil's parents have.

They're also heading into town to spy on him.

-I am getting a little bit nervous, are you?

-Yeah.

-My attitude's changed as the week's gone on.

-Yeah.

-I am nervous now, watching him, seeing what he's doing.

-Yeah.

Dismayed at seeing their son's drunken behaviour,

they're anxious about what they'll see tonight.

I want to see him enjoying himself without being silly.

Cocktails!

As Phil and Mike hit the strip,

Wendy and Bob take up position on a balcony across the road.

-OK?

-Yeah.

Some fit Scousers there, mate. Little tidy bastards.

-I can see Mike and Phil, but I can't see Mark.

-Yeah, where's Mark?

Yeah. Strange, isn't it?

-Come on then.

-We need as many Scousers as we can.

You're fucking sullied, you're fit.

Oh, God. He's got a bloody armful of girls on each arm.

This is what it's all about. Get in! Hey, girls, where you from?

-From Northampton.

-Northampton.

My word, I've never seen such a group of...

people of the opposite sex.

-Girls, group hug. Girl, group kiss.

-GIRLS: No!

Whoa, whoa, get your bloody head in.

Your mama, your mama, yeah, yeah, your mama.

I remember my first drink as well!

There's some girl gyrating all over the place.

-Hey, are you interested in going back to the hotel?

-Are you paying?

He seems to be enjoying himself, but...

I'd like to see, tomorrow, what he's been saying to people.

With Phil safely out of sight, Wendy and Bob sneak back to their hotel.

Three, two, one! Whoo!

Across town, the party's in full swing for Cian, Corey and Jade,

but not for Sam.

I've drank a little bit too much and unlike everyone else,

I know when to go home and go to bed.

But for Corey and Jade, the night is just getting interesting.

Jade got on some random lad, who happened to have a gay best friend.

Then Cian gets involved.

They're trying to get me to go back to that guy's hotel

and I'm just like, well, that's not really what I do,

that's not really what I'm about.

Which I know is really lame and most young people aren't like that,

but I, sort of... I don't know, I'm still holding onto this, like,

grasp that it's, like, special and...

I think my mum will be proud of me

cos it does come to a point where I'm like, "No, I won't do this."

With his mind made up, Cian heads home alone.

Scousers! Whoo!

But that isn't an option for Phil,

especially as mate Mark has turned up, with his girl.

Mark's got his willy wet tonight, so I aim on doing the same.

You're fit, let's have sex.

It's 4am, and hours after trying his luck, Phil finally calls it a night.

The next day.

I'm sort of, like, regretting drinking too much now

cos I'm so hung-over but, yeah, it was definitely a good night.

While his friends sleep it off,

Cian reflects on the difficult position

he found himself in last night.

Jade got with the guy and then I got with his friend.

I was sort of pressured into it really,

it wasn't really what I wanted to do,

and then, like, the...

They were trying to get me to go back to the hotel and stuff,

but I obviously didn't go.

I don't want to degrade myself like that

and although that's what everyone does out here,

it's not really what I do.

In just a few hours, the parents will be reunited with their sons.

But for now, it's their last chance to see what their teenagers

have been getting up to.

I'm hoping when we see him today that he's not too drunk.

Really concerned about how much they're consuming

and binge-drinking continually every night,

and if he goes off to university, he's going to have to curb that

or he's just going to make himself ill.

-Hiya.

-Hiya.

Last day. Last day today.

-Last day of torture.

-Yeah.

Yeah, well, I wouldn't say

the more drunk I get me personality changes.

I'd say the more drunk I get, a bit more confidence I get,

erm...like, i.e. with girls.

I think Philip was saying

that he thinks the drink makes him more confident

and I think it makes him not a very nice person, to be honest.

It becomes a crutch, that.

That means that if he can only get confident when he's had a drink...

-It's not going to do him much good...

-No, no.

..you know, through life,

cos you can't have a drink every time you want to do something.

Yes, basically, Mark's got his willy wet tonight,

so I aim on doing the same.

-Again, alcohol.

-A bit of peer pressure?

-Bravado.

-That's not from peer pressure, that.

-No?

-No, that's his choice.

It's almost like he's keeping up with Mark.

This is how he is.

Obviously, when he's away on holiday, this is how he behaves

and it's most unattractive, it really is.

He needs to grow up,

you know, because he can't carry on being like that

and expect to have a lovely relationship

with somebody in the future.

Next, Angela and John, who are already concerned

about how Cian will cope at university.

I don't really know, like, whether I'm going to stay at uni or not.

Like, I sort of can't picture myself at uni,

I can't picture myself doing all the work and uni's definitely

going to be one big party,

I'm literally going to be out every night.

I'm going to spend my student loan in the first month.

THEY LAUGH

-Probably our worst nightmare.

-I don't know why I'm laughing.

I'm going to have to have a word with him about that.

At the moment, he has money drip-fed to him.

Thinking about it, he's never had a lump sum come his way. I suppose

the loan they give them in a lump sum, don't they? So I'm not sure

he's mature enough to work out how much he needs for each...

For each month. So if I can have his loan and give it to him weekly.

Yeah, on a weekly basis.

I think we're going to have to let him struggle a bit

so that if he does go mad and overspend,

then he'll feel the consequences.

-He'll have to learn the hard way.

-He'll learn the hard way.

-Yeah.

Cos kids don't listen to parents.

-No, of course they don't.

-They don't.

Jade got with the guy and then I got with his friend.

I was sort of pressured into it, it wasn't really what I wanted to do.

And then, like, they were, like,

trying to get me to go back to the hotel and stuff,

but I obviously didn't go.

-That's nice.

-That's good, yeah. Gosh, my heart was going there.

I know, it's horrible, isn't it?

A very level-headed young man. I keep saying it, but he is.

Yeah, I'm so relieved by that. My heart was in my mouth thinking,

-"Did he do something he didn't want to?"

-Yeah.

It was really nice to see that he's got so much respect for himself

and for other people as well. So yeah, we were...

-Yeah.

-We were pleased with that.

We were really proud the way he handled that.

After a week of spying,

it's time for the parents to reveal themselves to their kids.

Phil is soaking up last night's alcohol with a proper meal.

-Does mine come with chips?

-Yeah.

-Sweet!

What he doesn't know is he's about to be confronted by his mum and dad,

who are very concerned about his attitude towards women.

We both were a little bit naive

and I think we were looking through rose-tinted glasses, really,

and it has opened our eyes a lot.

And we have learnt what Philip can be like, which is interesting.

A little bit upsetting, but nothing that we can't put right.

As his parents approach the restaurant,

Phil is still blissfully unaware.

Right at this moment me heart is pounding,

cos I'm a little bit nervous.

Oh, my.

You've got to be taking the piss. What the fuck?

Unlucky, Philip!

Oh, you absolute bastards.

Your mum and dad are here.

-Lost your voice?

-Hm. What's happening?

-Not very happy, son.

-Aren't you?

-No.

-Oh, no.

Do you know what? Honestly, you've just let yourself down.

When you've had alcohol, disrespect for yourself goes,

disrespect for women certainly goes.

We've seen everything.

Does a good time mean you've got to be so obnoxious?

I'm not obnoxious, I'm just doing what, like, every lad does.

The problem I've got is going up to girls, "Get your fried eggs out."

-It's was funny!

-It sounds funny, I grant you,

but it's the response that comes back from that.

But there was much worse than that, much, much worse.

But this is what people our age do.

I honestly do think, yeah, cos I'm your son you might think,

"Oh, dear, my son shouldn't be saying things like that."

-And people...

-Because I think...

-..your age...

Let me just speak. People your age will think,

"You know what? That's bang out of order."

-Then people my age, they wouldn't think twice about it.

-Yeah.

I understand you're... Yous are both, you know, 50 and stuff..

-Old.

-Yeah, but you've got to realise, this day and age,

this is how people my age speak to each other.

-Yeah.

-By the way last night, I could have gone,

"Phil," and you'd have turned round.

Yeah. All those girls dancing around you last night.

There were cameras going down the road,

they were giving it all this, going to town and what have you, you know.

-I'll tell you...

-At that point, I wanted to come down and join you.

No-one wants to let your mum and dad see what you's really like

with your mates, and now obviously they know.

Yeah, it's bit me right on the backside, I must admit,

but I've had a good time.

With a lot to talk about,

Phil and his parents have a sit-down chat in a more private location,

away from his mates.

It's been an experience. Maybe we were naive.

As each new generation comes along, it's different from the last.

Well, exactly.

We've learnt that your generation do things totally different from us.

-Yeah.

-Totally different.

People my age do things like this.

Let's be honest, you do always praise me, or to be this person.

Like, you think I'm amazing, "Oh, my boy is perfect."

You always think I'm going to go out and never get drunk

and never be sick and all this, and I'm glad, like, in a way,

I'm glad in a way that you've seen, like, me true self.

Let's be honest, we've never really sat down, have we,

and had like a proper lad conversation.

I've always felt like I couldn't turn round and say,

"Oh, bloody hell! Guess what, Dad.

"I bloody had sex with this girl last weekend," for instance.

But now, I'm starting to feel, after this programme,

like stuff like that I'll be able to talk to you about,

cos obviously now you've seen.

I've always thought, I've never put me self forward

as that kind of person I suppose,

where you could come and talk to me, so that's my fault, not yours.

I do feel I can come and speak to you now...

-Good. That's fine.

-..put it like that.

That's fine.

Hopefully all of us,

and I mean all of us, can get something out of this.

Exactly yeah.

I'm hoping, like,

this week where they've been spying on me,

it'll bring us a bit more close together,

they can understand what I'm actually like as a son,

and that they can understand what lads do these days,

in this day and age, compared to back in the 19th century.

There's been moments when it's been difficult,

but it's been well worth doing,

it really has, because it's given us a wider view of our Philip,

-you know.

-We maybe need to realise as well

that we maybe need to understand more about his generation

and how they are.

As much as we all like to think that we know our kids well,

this has proven that we don't.

Across Zante, Cian is enjoying his last meal.

-Are you going to eat pasta with a spoon?

-No, I'll use a fork.

It feels good to actually eat.

He's unaware that two uninvited guests...

Come on, quick.

..are about to join him for dinner.

I'm really, really feeling sick about revealing that I'm here to Cian.

I feel absolutely nauseous.

Oh, wow. Oh, my God. It's crazy, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-A teenager's life is absolutely crazy.

-Yeah.

-It's been a huge insight

to see what they're like with their friends

and how much energy they've got.

-Cian...

-Oh, my God.

-..I've been watching you.

-Oh, my God!

-Are you serious?

We've been watching you all week. And what were you doing to my list?

Every night you've been binge-drinking.

We've seen it, kid, we've seen it.

And what did we say to you about how much alcohol to drink?

No more than two units.

This is so awkward!

You're not going to live like that at uni, are you?

No.

And, erm...sort of expect to, er...

spend all of your student loan pretty quickly, I gather.

In the first month.

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.

-Eh?

-We've got a lot to talk about, Cian, haven't we?

-Apparently so.

-You're going to ask me to help support you, aren't you?

And then you're just blowing all your money on alcohol.

Go on, give him a hug, for Christ's sake!

-Hello. You all right?

-Yeah.

I'm a little bit annoyed about Mum spying on me,

but it's quite nice that they've seen what I'm like,

cos they haven't really seen this side of me before.

They don't know what I'm like on a night out,

they don't know what I'm like with my friends and stuff,

so it's just nice to be open with them now.

-You sprayed us with paint?

-Did you not see that?

-No.

-You sprayed us with paint?

-Yeah.

-We were on the balcony.

-We waved to you

-No!

Angela and John want to air a few concerns

they've got from the last week.

I think you probably could benefit from some lessons in laundry

and cleaning and cooking.

I definitely mucked that up,

cos I don't know how to do any of those things, really.

Well, I think maybe the blowing the student loan

in the first couple of weeks needs a little bit of a conversation.

We did notice you did a lot of drinking, Cian.

But there is one overriding issue Angela wants to talk about.

Well, you said that, erm, you didn't think

I had quite come to terms with you coming out as gay.

Just find it really awkward to talk about,

cos I don't really understand myself

and then I can't expect you to understand if I don't understand.

-Yeah.

-Yeah. But I don't really feel I have any expertise!

I don't really have any... I don't have any advice. I would love to say,

"You're going to go through this stage, or this is going to happen,

"you're going to feel confused,"

but I just don't know if I can say anything

that's really going to help you, but I can share it with you.

You know when you, like,

when you just rant about your problems to someone,

and, like, even if they don't... Even if they don't help you...

-Yeah, yeah.

-..it just feels better.

-You've aired them and you know that,

like, a problem shared is halved.

-Yeah.

-You've got to know we're there for you though, kid.

-Yeah.

-I do know.

We really have adjusted to it.

There's no question that we accept it and that we're proud of you.

I definitely think things are going to change

between, like, me and my mum now

cos we can be more open, we can sort of have more of a bond now,

cos I realise that I can tell her everything.

I don't have to hide certain stuff from her.

I think the whole experience has definitely been worth it for us.

-It has...

-I'd say so.

It has been a bit up and down and it has been quite emotional,

but I think it has really taken us on a journey

which has made us all a bit closer.

Next time - an irresponsible boy let's rip...

Yeah! Fucking yeah. Right.

..and a sheltered teen lets loose...

Let's get naughty!

..in the carnage and chaos of Kavos.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd