Two wayward British teenagers experience strict parenting on the other side of the world, as Debbie and Daniel travel to Lebanon for a week with a Sunni Muslim family.
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Around the world, many parents raise their kids on a diet of strict discipline...
Do not come back until you have checked your answers.
-Drinking, drugs and sex,
they're selfish behaviours that destroy lives.
..and immediate consequences.
Some people might say that my parents are strict,
but we'd rather call it love.
Can traditional parenting change the lives of rebellious British teenagers?
I need some more booze! Where is my booze?
If I'm told, "You will do this", the first thing I say is, "No, I won't."
I get away with murder, really. I can just do anything I want.
-Big lack of respect for authority.
-I go to bed when I want, wake up when I want.
I don't care what anyone else thinks about me, cos it's up to me.
To find out, two teens who've never met before will leave their fraught families behind.
Don't embarrass your family!
They'll head to the far corners of the world to live according to strict rules imposed by new parents.
In my house, you will do as I tell you to do.
Please let me make it very clear.
My children won't defy me.
This is wrecking my head! This is wrecking my head!
When I punish, I punish really hard.
I'm being treated like a kid when I'm not a kid!
-Shut up and listen to me.
You're a child. A minor. In the US, you have to do what an adult says.
The British people's moral fabric is disintegrating.
17-year-old Debbie McQueen is partying her life away.
I know I sound really bad.
Under-age drinking, all the boyfriends, going out every weekend.
She's completely dropped out of college.
She spends her days sleeping and obsessing over her appearance.
I've got seven mascaras that I use.
And a certain order that I've got to use them in as well. I'm a bit OCD with that, actually.
-What's the problem with a few people sat upstairs having a drink?
-But you didn't ask.
Debbie's stepfather Dave has been a part of her life since she was four.
'When I was younger,'
I was like his little princess.
I remember it was always him that I went to.
But in recent years, the relationship has completely broken down.
-They're not coming here, so what's the problem?
-Debbie, please listen.
-They're not coming so there's no problem.
We're always at loggerheads.
She will not accept the responsibility of being an adult
or of even being a human being at the moment!
FRUSTRATED, ANGRY MUTTERINGS
I hate being told what to do. Oh, it really grates on us.
I don't mind being asked to do something,
but as soon as someone says, "You will do this,"
I say, "No, I won't!"
The guidance we're giving her is falling on deaf ears.
I'm at a loss
as to where to move forward from here.
What have you done all afternoon? What have you done?
You haven't done schoolwork or what I've asked you to do.
You've laid on the sofa and watched TV all afternoon.
Over in Leeds, 17-year-old Daniel Drinkwater
is driving his parents to distraction.
Daniel is selfish, stubborn, lazy,
dirty, grubby, filthy.
Every day, we end up having some kind of argument, for want of a better word, with him.
My lifestyle is self-indulgent, decadent.
Doing anything without regard for others as long as I get personal fulfilment from it.
Daniel does nothing to help around the house,
spending all his time on his rock band, The Psycho Strangers.
I can't bear to speak to a teacher again. We'd have teachers ringing us, "He's not done that work."
'We argue about my schoolwork.'
Cos I don't do it or I don't go.
It's just been never-ending for the last two, three, four years.
And this is a child that supposedly wants to go to university!
Daniel was a promising student.
But he's been asked to leave two out of his four A-level courses.
He's so much cleverer than I am
that it's just such a waste.
It's not that he needs to make a massive effort.
He just needs to make a little effort and he'd go a long way.
He thinks he's a rock star.
He absolutely thinks he's a rock star.
Yes, it's good that he's got music in his life
but he's got to learn about other things in life as well.
He's got to do well at school - he may not become a famous rock star!
To try and get their lives back on track,
both families agreed to send their wayward children
to live with new parents on the other side of the world.
Give us a hug.
Have a good time!
Be sensible. Make me proud.
Any change would be brilliant for Daniel.
Any change in respect of his attitude.
Be less selfish and less narrow-minded
and have more understanding of other people's needs.
-Have a nice time.
-I will do.
-Take care of yourself, Debbie.
-I want you to enjoy everything as well.
-Come back and learn something.
-If I can give you that to treat yourself.
'I hope they are strict and enforce the rules.
'Then she might realise'
just how easy she's got it here.
-Cool. Are you nervous?
For the next ten days, the teens' new home will be Beirut,
capital city of Lebanon.
It's the most culturally diverse city in the Middle East.
Here, they'll be staying with the Hajjars, a Sunni Muslim family,
who believe that rigid boundaries are essential in raising rounded children.
'I think respect is everything in the world.'
When I punish, I punish really hard.
Dad Abdulsalam was a policeman
while Mum Iman is a nurse. They're the proud parents of 17-year-old Mahmud
and 16-year-old Jinan.
You have to better your handwriting.
'Study is very important.'
If they get low grades in school, they will be punished.
Iman strictly controls all outside influences on her children's lives.
'I always go through their email'
and even, you know, we have Facebook.
I always make like surprising them, "What you gonna do?"
"What are you doing?"
"Who's this girl?", "Who's this boy?", I always ask.
They tell me the truth. They have nothing to hide.
Being rude to your parents is not good at all
because they raised you.
Dry the dishes and you do that.
As a progressive Muslim family,
the Hajjars are keen to expose the Western teens to their cultural values.
The Americans and Britain and the other world think we're terrorists,
think we're bad people, but it's not like that.
We are open-minded, we go out, but we have some rules.
We don't drink, we don't do bad things.
This is some orders, we have to obey them,
and if we don't, we get punished.
Teenagers, British teenagers, they will learn a lot from this family.
After a 2,000-mile journey, Daniel and Debbie arrive in Beirut.
It was once a popular tourist destination, known as the Paris of the Middle East.
-There seems to be a load of
They've all got proper banger cars, as well.
They're all scratched.
They're all ridiculously crazy drivers.
This is a city ravaged by years of conflict.
It still bears the scars of a 15-year civil war
and was bombed by Israel in 2006.
God, did you see the size of his gun!
Don't know if I'd like to live here.
-Hello! Hi, how are you?
-Nice to meet you.
-I'm Iman Hajjar.
-This is my husband.
-My son, Mahmud.
Hello, how are you, Daniel? I'm Iman Hajjar.
-It seems like you smoke, Daniel.
-Smoking's not allowed in our house.
Welcome to our house.
From now on, Debbie and Daniel will live according to the same rules as the Hajjar children.
-This is our small...
-Not at all!
It's twice the size of my house.
My husband doesn't speak too much English.
Only Arabic with a little bit of English.
It's just to tell you that smoking is not allowed in our house
for our health and also Mahmud's health.
-He was born with health problems.
-Smoking will bother him a lot.
-Inside the house, no smoking.
-You don't smoke?
-Here is your room.
-Oh, it's dead nice.
Debbie will share a room with Jinan...
You've got a dead nice house.
-It's bigger than mine, seriously.
..while Daniel will take Mahmud's room.
-'The family all seem really nice, like.'
It seems like Iman controls the family
and the dad seems more laid-back.
They seem quite kind and sweet.
Maybe after they hear the rules they'll change! But the beginning was good.
Before the teens are fully welcomed into the family,
Iman wants to make their expectations absolutely clear.
Whilst you are living with us, OK,
we expect you to behave as though you are a member of our family,
the Hajjar family.
This includes following all our house regulations.
There will be no drinking of alcohol,
no smoking within or outside of these walls.
You must dress modestly and respectfully.
And boys or men are never, ever allowed to pee standing up.
Because we go and wash in the bathroom
so we have to make sure there is no pee in the bathroom.
I could be careful.
You can't. That is the truth.
You must eat whatever is available at home without any complaint
especially during escalations or times of war.
Nobody knows when Israel will come and bombard us.
Any visits to friends
are only allowed once Mum has met and vetted the friend's Mum
to make sure the family are suitable.
-Do you not trust your children?
-I do trust them. I do trust them.
They trust that what I'm doing, me and their father, is for their own benefit.
-I hope that you will enjoy your stay at our house.
HE SPEAKS ARABIC
He wants you to obey the rules
and help us to obey the rules.
That will be all, please.
-Some of them are just a pile of
-to be honest.
It says to dress modestly and respectfully.
I'm wearing my little hot pants! I bought them for here. I'm not gonna...
I'm glad I get to sit down and pee. That's ace!
-I can relax on the toilet.
-I can't get why. What did she say about it?
I'll take a bucket and make a right go of it!
And I'm not gonna get married just to have sex. Ridiculous!
I've seen their daughter looking at you!
At the beginning, they're gonna suffer with me.
Yes, they will. Because from their reaction,
it seems like they didn't like most of the rules.
But this is my house.
These are my rules. They have to obey it.
The Hajjars disapprove of drinking alcohol
as their Muslim faith bans all intoxicants.
Debbie, though, has smuggled some vodka from home.
I've brought alcohol as well.
You look dead scared.
It's all right. Don't worry. You won't get into trouble.
I always have a few drinks when I go on holiday.
If she finds out, she's gonna go mad, isn't she?
-If you want, you can give it to her...
-It costs money!
-She'll give it back to you when you're going back.
No, I'll just drink it.
Me and Daniel are gonna go out.
If Debbie tries to drink the alcohol here, in the house,
she's gonna be caught.
Cos I'm here, my mother's here.
It's definitely not gonna be hidden anywhere
cos there's no place to hide it.
Even if she's outside, we're gonna be with her
and my mum's gonna be with her so she's not gonna drink those.
For Debbie, modest clothing is a totally new concept.
That's better. Still gonna end up with dead dodgy tan lines.
What the hell are you doing?
-I'm sorry, you can't do it here.
-Because we have strict neighbours, all Muslims.
If they saw you, they will make a big problem with us.
-No-one can see us on the balcony.
-Yes, they will.
-No, no, no.
-There's absolutely no-one about.
-No way. Come on.
-Come on, you have to put on...
-Don't put it on me.
-I'm not a child.
-Yes, you are.
-Do you mind not putting that on my head!
-OK, would you mind to wear decent clothes?
-I am wearing decent clothes.
-No, they are not.
-No way. No way.
Iman decides to search Debbie's suitcase and confiscate
any other inappropriate clothing.
No, I'm not gonna take them. I'll put them in a bag.
No. I swear you're not taking them.
You're gonna stay on your luggage?
You're not taking my clothes.
OK. Fine. You're gonna stay here?
-Fine, for me. Wear this and stay in the room.
But you're not allowed out of the room until you change your clothes.
-Fine. I've got plenty of other shorts and vests to wear.
-That's all right.
-I hope you won't be bored sitting on your luggage.
You'll be hungry, have to go to the toilet.
I can not eat for days at a time.
-You don't have to eat or go to the toilet?
-Fine with me. You have to stay here.
-If you change your mind, I'm waiting for you.
Debbie, I think she is a little bit...
She seems nice, but she is a little bit naughty.
With Iman's back turned,
Debbie wastes no time in breaking yet another rule.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God! Debbie, you are smoking!
No, that's Daniel's. I'm just holding it for a sec.
-Yeah, I don't smoke.
I know that you don't smoke.
But I see Marlboro Lights.
-They were mine. They're mine.
-I bought some today.
I count one, two, three.
You're not allowed to smoke any more.
-Can I smell your mouth?
I think that you are smoking.
-No, I took one.
-Yes, you are. You took one.
But I thought you don't smoke.
No, I don't. It's just been a stressful day.
You smell now. Your hair smells.
-Really. Do you want to smell like him?
He's gonna get angry because I'm gonna take his cigarettes from him.
..he must be punished.
It's the end of the day and Debbie and Daniel are starting to realise what they've let themselves in for.
I'm not dependent on them. I can go without them. It's just a comfort.
People have sweets or chocolate. I've got cigarettes.
Everyone kept telling us, "It's not a holiday!
I came expecting a holiday, and it's not at all.
-My first day. It's
I want to go home.
The Hajjar family rise at dawn each day
for morning prayer.
ABDULSALAM SAYS PRAYERS
Today, Iman is keen to give the teens an education
in Lebanon's long religious history.
BELL JANGLES LOUDLY
She's taking them to an ancient mosque sited on the ruins
of a church built by European crusaders nearly 800 years ago.
It's called Al-Omari Mosque.
It's a very old mosque.
You can see from the long structure.
You are not allowed into the mosque wearing these clothes.
Iman wants Debbie to experience Islam from a woman's perspective.
I've got this one for you.
You should have to do this as well. Just for the experience!
-You look so beautiful!
-I feel really uncomfortable.
-You look so beautiful.
-Do you not feel dead trapped?
-I do. I've only just put it on.
-Really, you look so beautiful.
-Really? I don't feel it.
Honestly, I feel dead uncomfortable.
You look like Mother Teresa!
I don't know.
I really don't care. I just want to leave.
I don't feel comfortable at all.
At the mosque, men and women pray separately.
Before Muslims enter the prayer hall,
they must be entirely clean.
I first wash my hands.
The left leg with the right hand
and also at the heel.
But despite Iman's efforts,
Debbie can't see beyond the superficial.
It's so claustrophobic. It was tied dead tight under my chin.
There is no practical reason for it at all.
It's just... I just think it's sexist, to be honest,
but the women don't.
If they accept it, that's up to them.
The teens are required to attend school during their stay in Lebanon.
Iman is ready with her instructions.
You have to wear these clothes.
-Nice long-sleeved shirt.
And the trousers.
Honestly, I feel like crying. I really do.
I'm not wearing this!
I feel like I work in an ice-cream shop!
For Iman, a first-class education is the greatest gift a parent can give their child.
The most important achievement a human can achieve in life
Because education is the road we have to walk to get what we want.
Without education, they have nothing.
For college drop-out Debbie,
school was always a social event.
I always poke myself in the eye with it.
Iman's already told her the school dress code bans make-up.
Debbie, have you put any more mascara on your eyelashes?
I've put some on, but just let the school worry about it.
No, it's my responsibility to tell you that they will phone me
and tell me that "She didn't obey our rules."
I have. I haven't got as much as I normally do on.
-Yes, they are.
Honestly, when you first woke up, they were perfect, your eyelashes.
They were perfect.
What you've done to them, for me, they look like the legs of a cockroach!
I'm actually dreading this now.
At least we look sexy, though. That's the main thing!
The teens are heading here, the Lebanon Evangelical School.
It's a Christian institution, but welcomes students from all religions.
# Amazing grace
# How sweet the sound... #
Englishman Dr White is the headmaster.
He has a progressive approach to education.
I want to tell them what I believe
then it's up to them whether they think it's right or wrong.
I want discussions. I want them to think.
But the teens will have to answer to Iman
if their behaviour doesn't meet her expectations.
-I'm dressed in
-clothes, so the only thing that's making me ME is my make-up.
Like if I respect their culture, in the uniform, they should respect mine in the make-up.
Dr White has called them to his office.
-Debbie. Hi, nice to meet you.
-Have a seat.
So the main rule is no chewing gum and no abusive language
in the classroom. Debbie, one more button. One more button.
Second button done up when we're not doing ties. I don't know if you were told
that one of the rules is no make-up in school.
Yeah, I did get told, but I don't compromise on it.
-I've always worn it. I always will.
-Can you tone the...whatever, mascara,
-on your eyelashes?
-It doesn't come off.
-You'd have to cut your eyelashes.
-Pretty much, yeah.
We say no make-up. If you get a method of taking it off, I'd like you to.
I will tone it down. We'll see how comfortable I feel.
I can't see any other student with their button undone except Sam. Both done up.
The main lesson of the day is English.
The topic for debate is family values.
Debbie, do you care what your family thinks about you?
Well, they don't have an opinion on me, to be honest.
-I'm not close with my family.
-Do you have an opinion on them?
-Daniel, would you say the same, from what you've put there?
Well, they feed me, so that's the main thing.
-Is that what you use them for?
-They put a roof over my head.
-You don't care what they think about you?
-I don't care cos...
The teens' selfish attitudes might be cool in England,
but Lebanese culture has a different perspective.
Let's say he comes out and says something out of order to his family,
in Lebanese culture, they'll abandon you straight away.
"We're not gonna handle that in our family cos it brings shame."
Who agrees with that?
If you say something wrong, your family will abandon you?
-Because of the culture?
If they abandoned me cos I said something wrong, I'd have been abandoned ages ago.
You have to respect the family, but if you do something your father doesn't want you to do,
then he'll just abandon you.
Your parents know better than you do. They know what's good for you.
Everyone's family is different. Some families might tolerate bad behaviour
-like our families are, really!
We've got away with a lot more than we should have.
Or, like you say, I would probably have been abandoned.
OK. We're gonna do some homework.
The essay you have to write is on the title - 500 words, so two sides of A4 -
with the title "Why Bother?"
True to form, Daniel puts his music before his studies.
But to her credit, Debbie knuckles down.
So you're not doing your assignment?
-I'm not going to do it.
-Debbie is almost finished.
I've already said I don't want to do it.
I don't do homework at home.
At home. You are not now at home.
-You are now at my house.
You are now at my house.
I'm asking you politely to do your assignment.
I'm saying politely I don't want to do it.
But you have to. We have to do some things in our life we don't want to do.
But we have to do it. This is life. This is what life is about.
-I don't like to cook, but I have to cook.
So you're going to stick to your mind. You're not gonna change it?
'A 500-word essay to a school I'm not gonna see again?'
And on a thing like "Why Bother?" when I can say, "Yeah, why bother?
"I'm not gonna do it." It seems so vague.
If they want me to answer the question, I'll talk to them.
But if I'm writing it down never to be marked,
it doesn't mean anything. No point.
I'm disappointed with Daniel today. I was surprised.
I think Daniel's problem is probably with getting orders.
He doesn't like to be told to do something.
He thinks himself he's free to do whatever he wants, whenever he likes.
He doesn't bother.
Debbie may have done her homework,
but Iman wants to discuss her reliance on make-up.
-Can we have a talk?
Have a seat, please.
You should take your mascara off.
It doesn't come off. I do not take it off for anyone, ever.
I used to get bullied about the way I look.
You are so pretty!
No, I'm artificially pretty is the difference.
-So, does eyelashes give you confidence?
Cos it's... I dunno, it's like a guard, isn't it?
Honestly, I lose my personality and everything without my make-up on.
I'm not me.
It's just... It is kinda like...
It just sounds pathetic.
Like me wearing make-up and dressing the way I do
changed absolutely everything for me.
Like I stopped getting bullied.
I stopped being a nerd, stopped being unpopular.
I started getting treated better.
Started getting drinks bought for us. It's kinda who I am now. I'm used to it.
This is absolutely ridiculous.
I'm not taking it off.
If I've got to wear that stupid uniform,
it's the only thing I've got to keep of myself.
I've got the hiccups!
'Like I said from the start, I'm not compromising
with my make-up and that. It's like, go a night without it, go a day without it.
If it's that easy, I'd do it.
It's halfway through the teens' stay in Lebanon.
Wearing limited make-up, Debbie has decided to get her confidence from elsewhere.
She's uncovered her secret stash of vodka.
I don't see how we can get into trouble.
We're not gonna go in and go, "Look what we've got!"
If we get a bottle of Coke, drink some then tip that in,
no-one's gonna question it.
SCHOOL BELL RINGS
But before they have the chance to start drinking,
Daniel needs to explain his lack of homework.
-I was too tired.
Especially with the title being "Why Bother?", it was like, "Why bother doing it?"
About that. Why would one... Write about that!
I didn't want to do it.
-I was too tired.
-What was the point of setting homework? Why not say, "I'm not gonna do it?"
-Debbie, did you do your thing?
Good. Where's Carilav? Did you do it? David? Jake?
-Everybody else did it.
-Good for them.
-It is good for them.
Put your collar down, do your button up.
Daniel's spirited defence has attracted some kindred spirits to the UK teens.
-We're trying to find a place to go out.
We got told the nightlife was really good in Lebanon.
-I'd take you right now.
-Take us out. Take us out.
-Are you allowed?
-The nightlife here is amazing.
You can actually get in and you can buy cigarettes without a legal age for a dollar!
Typical of their attitudes at home,
neither Debbie nor Daniel have any interest in how their actions affect others.
They couldn't be more disrespectful to the devout Hajjar family
if they tried.
-It tastes BLEEP gorgeous. It tastes fun, actually.
-It is, isn't it?
Are you allowed to drink this in England?
Yeah. Well, no, not legally, but...
Daniel and Debbie, I need to see you in my office for about ten minutes.
Yeah, sure. Cool. Fine.
Dr White has called Iman into his office to deal with her surrogate teens.
-Debbie, did you drink this in school?
-No, I didn't.
Was it drunk in school?
OK, yeah, we drank that one at school.
-This one here?
Who did? Both?
Both of you. But you know from the first day alcohol is not allowed in my house.
We're not in your house.
-In my house!
-This was in my house.
-We're getting rid of it while we can.
This was in my house. In my girl's bedroom.
This is, for me, a very great violation of the rules.
Did Daniel smoke? Be honest, because God is seeing you.
-Did you smoke?
-He had one cigarette today.
-Where are you hiding the cigarettes?
-In my pocket.
In your pocket. Give it to me.
You should learn that in the future, in real life, you must obey rules.
You should respect others.
-I do respect others.
-No, if you respect others, you'd do as you were told.
This is only a short period of time.
We are not asking too much from you.
We are not taking anything out of your privileges.
We just want you to respect what we ask you to do.
Can I have the cigarettes?
One thing's definitely gonna happen.
-Your make-up case.
-It's not going anywhere!
-It will stay with me until you go back to England.
-Yes, you'll see.
Don't! I swear I will kick off like mad!
-OK, do it.
-Do it and it's not gonna happen.
-Debbie, no physical violence.
-I haven't got physical contact. I just mean...
-I'm not gonna touch you.
I'm not gonna touch you.
-I want only...
-..the make-up case.
-There's no compromising on that.
-Yes, you will.
-Yes, you will.
What we're stuck on is Debbie.
And I will not budge.
Can you agree on no make-up until...? Can you try that? None of your friends will see you.
IMAN: Where's the mascara?
- Thank you. - Thank you. Nice to meet you.
Daniel and Debbie are not the only ones to suffer Iman's wrath.
Jinan has come clean to her mother,
telling her she knew about the alcohol.
She helped Debbie to break this rule and she must be punished the same.
I don't know why the girls are much naughtier than the boys.
-The boys are more honest. Do you have something less than them?
-So why are you laughing now?
-I'm not laughing.
You laughed just a few seconds ago.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Don't look me in the eye.
Go to your bedroom cos I'm not satisfied with you.
She also took my phone but she'll give it to me tomorrow when...
-Took your phone? Why?
-Because... As a punishment, you know?
That's not.... Oh, my God. It wasn't your fault, though.
I just didn't want to tell her because
you said you wouldn't get me in trouble.
So I said that nothing's gonna happen.
-I was surprised that...
-I didn't like... Oh,
-yeah, I forgot.
Cos when we were talking at the school,
she went, "Oh, you should have handed it over."
And I said, "Jinan told me to, but I said no."
Like, I didn't even...
I didn't even think that she'd...do that.
She told me she wouldn't get me in trouble, but it seems I got in trouble.
'I trusted her, but...'
You know, she gave me a promise.
You have five minutes to get ready.
Despite the tension,
everyone needs to put on a brave face.
They have a family commitment they can't avoid.
CLAPPING AND CHEERING
A friend of Iman's is getting married. It would be an insult if the entire family didn't attend.
It's a chance for Daniel and Debbie to redeem themselves
and make Iman proud.
But Debbie is still sulking and for once isn't in the mood for a party.
Everyone's making out like I'm in the wrong.
-You think you haven't done anything wrong?
-No, not at all. I haven't.
-No, I really don't want your opinion.
It really doesn't care. It doesn't matter to me.
-No? But it does to me.
-Your opinion matters to you.
-Because I have the right to tell you my opinion.
-You won't like the answer you get. I'm in a really
I do not trust myself to be civil.
-Do you know what the problem with you is?
-That you don't have self-confidence at all.
-I did until I came here!
If you did, you would listen to me and what I'm telling you.
-I've listened for the past hour-and-a-half.
-You listen to yourself.
-Which is 100 per cent wrong.
-I'll add that to the list of everything else that's wrong with us.
I'm definite that days will prove that to you that you are absolutely wrong.
-Yes, I am, exactly! Go and
-yourself, I swear.
Literally get out my face.
-You're swearing at me?
-Yes, I am. Just go.
No-one has ever spoken to Iman like this before.
Honestly, I treated her as if she was my own daughter.
Honestly, I don't want her in my house.
Let her live alone! Find her a cave in some place and live there.
But in my house I don't think my husband would accept this at all.
He would be very, very angry.
Back at home, Iman has told her husband about Debbie's insulting behaviour.
He's called a family meeting.
His son Mahmud translates
and there's no mistaking his meaning.
HE SPEAKS ARABIC
Debbie's usual reaction to a family argument
is to stubbornly stand her ground and definitely never apologise.
That's me shut down from her now. Nothing's gonna change.
It's been going on with my stepdad for years.
I'm not comfortable staying in this house now and I'm not apologising.
'I know she's not your mother,'
but can't you just feel that she's your mother and talk to her,
sit with her, explain to her how you feel
and believe me, you'll feel comfortable.
As soon as someone says, "You should change this,"
what I hear is, "That's wrong. That's bad."
I just take it personally.
Like, being here's just kind of made it even more...
..drummed into us that I'm not good enough.
It's just so intense here.
It's just too intense
and it's obviously brought out the worst in us, to be honest.
As punishment for his own selfish behaviour,
Iman has sent Daniel to spend a day at a local children's charity.
She wants him to realise just how privileged he is
and to experience a world that does not revolve around him.
I'm really nervous about coming here today
cos I don't know what I'm gonna be doing
but if it's scrubbing floors or cleaning up, I'm not gonna enjoy it.
The Home of Hope cares for street children who've been abandoned or abused by their families.
The children's identity has been hidden for their protection.
Here's where the little ones sleep.
-Ages three to seven, eight, they sleep here.
Usually, little children don't give us lots of problems.
Yeah! Is it the older ones that give the problems?
Assam is a one-year-old Sudanese who came and he is part of our family now.
I would like to tell you about some of the stories of the children.
The saddest one is the story of a little girl.
She was four, five years old when the police brought her here.
Her mum was trying to sell her for body parts,
you know, to some rich family.
Now you can see her smile and laugh
and this makes me feel so happy.
At least I'd say this place, this home,
-has paid its dues to humanity.
Daniel gets down to work.
For once, he's not complaining.
I don't think I've ever done the washing up at home.
I don't even fill the dishwasher up, and that's not hard, is it?
Just, these kids...
They don't have anything else.
This is all they've got
and this is their home.
It's inspiring, really.
It's awfully emotional, some of the stories of some of the kids.
Been sold for body parts and been beaten and abused.
I don't know what to say about it.
I'm kind of speechless and you hardly ever catch me speechless!
I don't know. I really don't know what to say.
Do you not have any tools to fix any of these?
They're not worth fixing, I think.
I've worked with bikes before. I'm good with bikes.
I could probably help fix them.
I think they're fixable. It's just it would be a lot of work
and I'd need some tools like a chain splitter
and a puncture repair kit for most of them.
But they're all fixable.
The teens have been in Beirut for nearly a week
when Debbie has her first contact from home.
"We absolutely love you to bits and will always be here for you, no matter what.
"There used to be a little girl who would sit on her dad's knee when she was upset.
"Who always wanted to hold his hand, not her mum's.
"She would tell him all about her problems
"and he was the only one who could make it better.
"That little girl is all grown up now and we accept that.
"But if you see her, tell her we miss her!
"Help her understand that 'grown-up' brings its own responsibilities
"and that she needs to start and face them.
"We can only do so much, and we feel at times we've done more than we should.
"The rest has to come from you.
"Love you loads, Mum and Dad."
Oh, it's just that last paragraph.
I used to be very close with him.
With both of them.
Just seeing the family together and seeing how close they all are
it's kind of proved how distant I was with my family.
It's happened so slowly
over a gradual time, I hadn't noticed.
It's gonna sound really awful,
I kinda feel I'm not in a family.
there's my mum, my dad and my brother
and then there's me.
Just kind of a lodger in the house, to be honest.
I want it to change.
I kind of want my parents back. And my brother.
After a night of soul-searching,
Debbie has decided to take Mahmud's advice and approach Iman.
Iman, I'd just like to say about yesterday
I don't deal well with criticism,
but I should have expressed myself in a more appropriate manner
than swearing at you.
So I do apologise for swearing to you.
I don't want to be on bad terms.
It's just a natural thing.
As soon as I get like upset or angry the first thing I do is swearing.
Which is pretty sad, really, but...
I didn't realise it would offend you as much as it did
and it wasn't meant to offend you.
For me, it's just kind of, whatever.
-OK. Fine with me.
-Thank you for your apology.
-I am sorry.
'She has shown respect to me.'
I think she has passed all the past things.
She is a great girl.
Deep inside her, she is a wonderful girl.
Honestly, I do feel so much better.
There's no more pressure or no more atmosphere any more.
So I'm glad of it, yeah.
I'm glad everything's sorted
and it wouldn't have been if you hadn't spoken to me last night. Thanks for that.
It's nice to know that if I do apologise,
I don't feel like I've lost, whereas I did before.
That's why I wouldn't apologise. I was too stubborn.
"I'm not apologising. If I do, then I've lost it.
"I've lost the argument."
Whereas apologising now just seems like, "Oh, well.
"If I'm in the wrong, I might as well."
Daniel has asked to revisit the Home of Hope.
He wants to try and do something positive for someone else.
I'm just finishing this one.
Once I pull this off, it's finished.
Good - unless he kills himself on it!
Was it good?
It's good. That's one down. There's loads more to go!
He's realised he has an ability he can share
and teaches the older boys the skills to fix bikes for themselves.
Push it on like that.
Then all the way round.
The Home of Hope has inspired Daniel to complete his school assignment,
the essay on "Why Bother?"
It's making me think about why I should bother for people and my parents.
It's making me think that I should stop being selfish.
I found an opportunity to do the homework.
The one from Friday? Excellent. Excellent.
I like to see that sign that says "nothing is too late", cos I've done it.
Excellent. Good man. Good man.
"Why bother? Spending time in Lebanon
"has made me think about my selfish, egotistical way.
"Most of all, spending time at Home of Hope
"made me realise why bothering really does make a difference.
"Bothering is the one thing the kids rely on at the Home of Hope.
"If no-one bothered, these battered, abused and abandoned kids would have nothing.
"I've taken everything and everyone for granted.
"The kids at the shelter have nothing apart from the shelter
"yet are thankful for everything they receive.
"I've done one thing for the kids there, which was fix bikes,
"something I do frequently, yet the kids were thankful.
"One of the kids told me I was a great man for doing so.
"I lead my life on hedonism, although it hurts others, especially my parents.
"These children would do anything for parents like I have.
"I do nothing for my parents."
-Brilliant. Well done!
-Thank you for that homework.
Keep it. I want you to show it to your parents.
-They've gotta see that!
The British teens' stay is drawing to a close.
But not before one final excursion.
A picnic in the country, Lebanese-style.
It's the first time in years
Debbie's been out in public without make-up.
If this was back in Carlisle I wouldn't have went if I didn't have my make-up.
I'd have sat at home. So it is a pretty big thing
for me to be here now and not to be worried about it.
I think this feeling you should take with you back home.
Yeah, I wanna try cos I got half an hour extra in bed this morning
cos I didn't have to get up and worry about my face.
That was kinda nice, a nice lie-in!
After the last couple of days, seeing how hard other people get it,
I can see why it would be a good thing to do things for other people
rather than thinking about myself all the time.
It's time for Debbie and Daniel to leave Beirut
and return home to their own families.
I think we had a great experience with them.
-When Debbie came, we had so much in common,
the way we think, and it was so fun having her.
'Arguing with Iman was kind of a blessing in disguise.'
It's taught me how I can deal with my dad in a better way.
-It's been one hell of a journey.
I'm gonna remember it for the rest of my life!
-We'll definitely be back.
I'm coming back next week!
I feel a bit emotional, actually.
I'm quite excited to see him.
He's probably grown up just in ten days, but that's just being silly.
Mind the door!
Are you all right? Have you lost weight?
-I can't wait to have a beard!
-Is that to fit in with the culture?
-Everyone's got beards over there.
-Did it have an impact?
-It did. A lot of the places did, yeah.
The main thing for me was going to the Home of Hope, the shelter.
-Seeing people with nothing?
-Yeah. They have nothing. I take everything for granted.
Seeing those, they'd give anything to have all the things I have.
From speaking to him, he's had quite a positive experience,
which I think can only enrich his life
and hopefully will have some impact.
I loved the family to bits. They've welcomed us back any time.
If I'm ever back in Lebanon, they said go straight to their house.
So what have you learned from it?
I've learned that it's OK to back down when I'm in the wrong.
It's mainly me and you, isn't it?
I never apologise to you, you know what I mean?
Even over the pettiest thing, it's a silence after we argue.
It was the first time I'd really apologised to anyone.
I thought I'd feel like I'd lost, you know what I mean?
"Oh, she's won." But it didn't feel like that at all.
It's obvious that she has spent time thinking
-about how she's behaved, especially towards you.
I didn't expect that at all,
that she would let things go, that she was prepared to stand down.
If nothing else, it's gonna make a big difference, isn't it?
Oh, my God!
Next time on the World's Strictest Parents...
How do you expect me to live?
-Your initial text was rude.
-"Yeah, but..." "Yeah, but..."
And mum-hating Rosie Harley...
-Why don't you like speaking to me?
-I just don't like it.
..get new parents in Belize.
This is not England, Rosie.
I don't care. I wanna wear what I wanna wear.
-Calvin, I need that from you.
-I'll run away from you!
I don't suppose that I could say sorry?
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
Two wayward British teenagers experience strict parenting on the other side of the world, as 17-year-old college dropout Debbie McQueen from Carlisle and 17-year-old wannabe rock star Daniel Drinkwater from Leeds travel to Lebanon.
For a week they must live under the strict rules of the Hajjars, a liberal Sunni Muslim family. Dad Abdulsalam is a retired policeman, while mum Iman is a nurse. The Hajjars believe that demanding discipline and instilling respect are the keys to raising a happy family, and have high expectations of the British teens and their decadent approach to life. Strict religious rules around alcohol and modest dress codes make the teens' experience hard to acclimatise to.
Over the week the teens are required to attend mosque and school, and, for Daniel, work in a home for street children. Can the Hajjars' faith-based principles effect any change in the wayward teens?