Oklahoma The World's Strictest Parents

Around the world, many parents raise their kids with strict discipline...

Do not come back until you have checked your answers.

..rigid boundaries...

Drinking, drugs and sex

are selfish behaviours that destroy lives.

..and immediate consequences.

Come on!

Some people might say that my parents are strict,

but we'd rather call it love.

But can traditional parenting change the lives

of rebellious British teenagers?

I need more booze! Where's my booze?

If someone says you will do this, the first thing I say is, "I won't!"

I get away with murder, really. I can do anything I want.

Big lack of respect for authority.

I go to bed when I want, wake up when I want.

I don't care what anyone thinks about me. It's up to me.

To find out, two teens who've never met before leave their fraught families behind...

Don't embarrass your family!

..and head to the far corners of the world

where they will live according to strict rules imposed by new parents.

In my house, you're going to do as I tell you to do.

Please let me make it very clear.

My children won't defy me.

This is wrecking my head! This is wrecking my head!

When I punish, I punish really hard.

I'm sick of being treated like a kid when I'm not!

-Shut up and listen to me!

-Get upstairs!

-No!

You're a child, a minor. In the US you have to do what an adult says.

They're insane!

The British people's moral fabric is disintegrating.

FANFARE

Ladies and gentlemen, Stretford Pageant Rose Queen

is Kaya Jade Elliot.

16-year-old Kaya Elliot loves to be the centre of attention.

But her smile hides a ferocious temper.

You can see me there, can't you?

Why she just can't pin it?

She does my head in.

It's a nightmare living with Kaya, especially when she's in a grumpy mood!

I've got a horrendous temper.

Scream, shout, growl at whoever, throw things!

Kaya's approach to authority?

She doesn't like any source of authority.

To me, if I want to do something, I'll do it.

If I don't wanna do it, there's no chance of me doing it.

Kaya's anger has completely disrupted her education.

'Kaya got thrown out of three schools.'

The second primary school she went to, she got kicked out.

Her first secondary school she got kicked out of

and the third one, the one she's at now, she's just been kicked out of.

I don't like school. I never have done.

I'd just disrupt the class because I was bored

and the attention wasn't around me.

The feeling we got when we were told she was being expelled

it was like someone had hit me in the stomach and I was winded.

It's just a gut, a proper gut feeling.

'My dad, I completely just ignore everything he tells me to do.'

My relationship with my mum? Up and down, really.

I get along with her sometimes but sometimes she doesn't half peck my head!

You're gonna fall on your arse, Kaya.

Told ya!

Things are so bad at home,

Kaya's parents are on the verge of throwing her out.

I don't think Kaya's aware of the effects her behaviour's had on us.

When I've got upset, she'll say, "Why are you upset?" I look at her

and I just can't believe that she's saying that.

I can't believe she wouldn't understand.

It's my head, my life, my brain. I do what I want.

Disappointed, let-down and upset, I suppose.

As a parent. Mainly cos it makes me feel like I've failed.

'You always come back to a tidy house and stuff like that.'

I never sit there and you've come back to piles of rubbish.

So you think it's OK to get up at 11 or 12 o'clock?

In Kent, 17-year-old Jay Birch

is going nowhere fast.

Your easy option is to lay around in bed, get up just before I come home,

get the housework done, get some money and bugger off into town until ten o'clock.

-What life is that? What have you achieved that day?

-I've had a laugh.

The things that piss me off about Jay

are his laziness, more than anything in the world.

It is his laziness.

'We have asked him to get a job.

'But he comes back at us with different excuses.'

He thinks there's a money tree

that my mum goes and picks every day!

You can't live your life expecting everybody to pay for you

or scrounge or whatever. You'll never get anywhere.

With my mum and Steve I can get what I want off either one of them.

If one of them says no, the other one will say yes.

Jay passed six GCSEs but has no desire to continue in education.

He just thinks that he can wing it all the time.

MUM: He'll wink his eye and smile. "I'm not that bad!"

One of life's charmers.

Jay had a difficult childhood. His father left when he was five,

then last year, tragedy struck his family.

Molly was my niece.

She died when she was four.

Jay's motivation is non-existent since Molly died.

He was lazy to begin with anyway,

but I think it took a turn for the worse.

I've sat and thought, "Why am I always unlucky?

"Why do the bad things happen to me?"

While those around him have united in grief,

-Jay has stopped trying altogether.

-'He needs a kick up the arse.'

That's what Jay needs.

He needs a really big kick up the arse, actually!

MUM: 'I don't want him to give up.'

It's almost as if at times he's given up on life.

He's 17 years old and I don't want that for him.

To try and get their lives back on track,

both families are sending their wayward children to live with new parents

on the other side of the world.

It's an opportunity for you.

OK? Come back a better person!

I hope he's gonna come back a bit more enthusiastic with his life

and go somewhere with his life.

STEVE: And maybe eventually get a job.

That pays!

Make sure you walk around on the plane.

She needs to learn about herself more than anything. How she deals with people.

-How she puts herself across.

-I want her to appreciate being at home.

-Hi, I'm Jay.

-Hi, I'm Kaya.

-I've never been in a plane.

-Never? Wow!

The teens are travelling 4,500 miles to here,

the town of Kiefer, Oklahoma,

in the heart of middle America.

They'll be living under the absolute authority of Shannon and Stacey White.

He's the town's chief of police.

I believe that discipline itself is the most important thing for a teenager.

Whether they want to agree with it or not!

Obedience is demanded. It's not an option.

You go by our rules or you don't live here.

The Whites have four adopted children.

19-year-old Shelby,

16-year-old Trey,

ten-year-old Marquis

and nine-year-old Dorice.

They also have a daughter of their own, six-year-old Kailey-Mae.

We started our family by fostering.

We weren't able to have any children of our own

so we filled ourselves up with children from the state.

We've probably fostered between 13 and 20 kids over the years.

The Whites take an old-fashioned approach to parenting.

The roles that we take in the house are more of the traditional roles.

-I'm the boss.

-He is definitely the punisher. Um...

I like to use the threat, "Just wait till Dad gets home."

Stacey served six years in the Marine Corps before joining the police.

His career has persuaded him of the power of physical punishment.

I use a drill structure type of approach.

I would have to admit that yes, I am extremely tough.

The scripture, "Spare the rod, spoil the child," has a lot of meaning.

'It's not all strict.'

We believe in having a lot of fun with the kids

and if they mind the rules, we reward them.

I absolutely believe that we're tougher than most parents.

Parents should be tough because the world's tough.

If you don't learn it as a child, you won't make it as an adult.

After a nine-hour flight, Kaya and Jay touch down in Oklahoma,

one of the most conservative states in America.

It's just gonna be a free holiday.

It'll be all right.

Kiefer was once a rough, tough, oil boom town.

But today it's a sleepy, family-oriented home

to just 2,000 law-abiding citizens.

-Everything's on a bigger scale.

-Cos they're all fat bastards.

-Yeah.

Chief White believes his family should set an example to his community.

He sets his standards very high.

Meeting new people is always a great thing.

That's the way I look at it.

-Oh, my God, he's a police officer!

-You are BLEEP me!

'Oh, my God!'

-JAY:

-'No way!'

-Hello.

-Hi.

-Hi, there. Welcome to the White house!

-Nice to meet you. My name's Jay.

-I'm Stacey.

-I'm Kaya.

-Nice to meet you, Kaya.

-Nice to meet you.

-Come in and get comfortable.

-Come on in.

Wow! This is lovely.

The teens will live by the same rules as the White children.

-The littlest one is Kailey.

-Six.

-Dorice. Trey.

-Hi.

-I'm Shelby.

-Shelby.

-And then Marquis.

-Hi.

-Hi.

This is Kailey's room.

It's gonna be your room.

I hope you like pink!

I hate the police. I've not had a good relationship with police.

They don't like me and I don't like them

and that's the way it's gonna stay.

-Jay, that'll be your room.

-Yep.

I've never seen so many rules at all. The second one is gonna be hard.

Third one hard.

Fourth one hard.

Seventh one really hard.

Oh, my God.

Every child who stays with the Whites gets thoroughly briefed on the rules.

Kaya and Jay are not exception.

I want to talk to you guys for a few minutes

to go over a few things that we feel kinda strongly about.

As you can already see,

I'm a police officer. I'm the police chief in this town.

-And my wife is one of my officers.

-I'm also a police officer.

-She's also a police officer.

So we enforce certain rules with the law behind us.

Rule one. Respect us and our family.

We'll respect you in return.

Two, no cursing in the house or in front of the minor children.

This is the buckle of the Bible belt and cursing in front of a child is actually illegal.

Everybody does their chores on a daily basis.

If you've got a specific assignment given to you by me or Mrs White

we expect you to do it without us micro-managing you. OK.

Smoking and possession of tobacco is illegal in this state.

For anybody under the age of 18.

OK. The punishment around here, it ranges.

On the bottom side of the scale, physical exercises, additional chores.

To the other side of the scale, where you could wind up in front of our judge.

-For a crime.

-You're serious?

-Mm-hmm.

OK, as the owners of the house,

we have the right to search bedrooms and common areas

any time we feel like it.

-If you have any contraband in your bags...

-What does that mean?

-Cigarettes.

Alcohol, marijuana...

-Can we have one last fag?

-Huh?

-Can we have one last fag?

We can't have that.

You're now seen as part of the White family.

If these people in the town see my kids breaking the law,

it'll look bad upon me.

Right now is amnesty time.

I want you to bring 'em to the table.

I have five fags

and I'm gonna be stressed.

Hi, guys. Awesome!

-You went through that many already?

-Since we got off the plane.

-I've smoked all mine.

-Huh?

-I've smoked all mine.

-You've smoked all of 'em?

-Yeah.

There's the matches as well.

OK, guys.

I'm gonna give you the second and last amnesty that I'm gonna give you

to bring anything contraband to the table.

I hope you don't have any on your person cos I don't want to have to violate you.

For Kaya and Jay, the Whites' regime will take some getting used to.

It's a cigarette. I don't see what's wrong with anyone smoking.

BLEEP, it's my body, it's my decision.

"And the law states..." Well, at the end of the day I just don't care.

They're gonna make my life hell,

I know they are. I'll do it ten times back.

You've got to feed the fish and make up your bed. OK?

As fully-fledged members of the family,

Kaya and Jay are expected to get straight down to work.

Just like everyone else.

I won't do the breakfast dishes. Everyone can do their own dishes.

-Cleaning the toilet?

-It's just a brush.

It's still a toilet.

There is not a chore on there that my six-year-old daughter can't do.

And hasn't done.

I can't bother with the mither of getting a physical punishment.

It's not as bad as Jay. He's got to clean the toilet!

I didn't touch it.

Looks fine!

Eughh! That was wet!

I don't understand how somebody can expect to live in a house and not help out

with the day-to-day stuff.

Jay!

When we sweep, we move stuff.

So I do need you to come back through here and do another sweep.

And that toilet needs to be cleaned.

It's Jay's first taste of the all-American work ethic.

I ain't doing that.

Shannon!

-Could you show me how to do the toilet again?

-Sure. Come on.

OK. Just take it in here, use the brush and go round it.

What do I do when you let it down? What do I do with that bit?

I'm not gonna clean it all. I see what you're doing.

Bollocks.

'We don't play the games, so they're gonna get caught.'

Laziness doesn't work.

For Stacey, duty calls.

So it's up to Shannon to supervise the day's main chore.

Cleaning out the shed.

Come on, guys. It's heating up here.

OK, guys, let me explain to you real quick.

The reason why we do this yard clear-up day

is because in the town of Kiefer, if your yards are not clean, you can be given a ticket.

The police department has to give these tickets out.

So it's bad if the chief of police has to write himself a ticket.

Let's get that done.

However you guys wanna get 'em out, that's fine.

But all work together.

Kaya quickly finds a reason not to get her hands dirty.

Spider, spider, spider, spider!

I'm not doing it. There's spiders.

Is it a massive spider or is she making a lot out of nothing?

-I didn't see anything.

-No?

I'm not going back in there.

I don't understand why I should clean a shed.

They get tickets for the land being dirty.

They should have BLEEP kept it clean in the BLEEP first place.

-Why are we sitting?

-Cos there's spiders.

There was a massive spider in there.

Why don't you stand here and let them handle it, if you're making a pile?

-If it was that bad, instead of sitting?

-No.

-It's not a difficult thing, guys.

-It is for us!

-This isn't England.

-I'm not doing it all myself.

-No...

-If you give me a fag.

-I can't. That's breaking the law.

You guys can get it done early when it's cool enough.

Or you can sit out here on your bum till it's hot. But it still gets done today.

Hoping for an easier life, Jay reluctantly gets back to work

but Kaya is standing firm.

I'm not taking part in it.

You and I need to have a little talk.

I don't need a talk. I have a phobia of spiders.

I'm not going in a place where there's loads of them.

-I gave you another option.

-I can't lift heavy things, though.

It's not all heavy and I don't expect you to lift heavy stuff they can lift.

But don't tell me you can't lift that cos my six-year-old could.

If you don't want to get in there and do this, I'll call Stacey back.

-He'll stand over you while you do it.

-I can't believe you said that.

-Don't talk to me.

-We'll get Stacey up here.

Do that, then!

She thinks she's got a bigger attitude than Stacey.

Maybe she needs to get some respect for an adult.

-I'm doing it cos I don't want to...

-You're letting into them, Jay.

No, I just want an easy ride.

Shannon's called Stacey home, to deal with Kaya.

Here we go. I'm not doing it.

-What's wrong, Kaya?

-I'm not going in when there's spiders. I have a phobia. I'm not touching it.

Here's the way it works. Everybody else is working.

If you don't do it, I'm gonna pressure you till you do.

That's wrong. You shouldn't pressure someone into doing something.

You have to do things that you don't wanna do cos you have to.

That's a fact of life. We all do. You think I want to get up and go to work every...

Give me the respect of looking at me and talking to me.

I'm looking at you straight and giving you respect.

Life is about doing things we don't wanna do.

Think I wanna get up every morning and deal with dirt bags every day? No.

I can't do it.

-Hey, hey, hey.

-What?

-You are disrespecting me. I don't like that.

-I'm not disrespecting you.

-You are, cos you're making me...

-No.

-I am trying to teach you values.

-I've got mine.

Team work. Values. And you're refusing it.

SHE GRUMBLES

I've had enough. I just want to go home and not have this pressure.

I'm 16. I don't need to learn about all this BLEEP. I'm still a child.

-I don't need none of this.

-Come here.

Before getting tough with teenagers,

Stacey always tries reasoning with them first.

Let me talk to you.

Can you at least talk?

OK.

This is a team effort.

Do you just see you out there by yourself doing it?

-No.

-No.

Do you not see the other siblings out there

doing even worse jobs than what you were assigned to?

I'm not getting forced into doing something I don't want to do. It's as simple as that.

I just don't. I don't do it. It's how I've always been.

-If I don't wanna do something and I know that, I'm not doing it.

-Think you'll succeed doing that?

I don't know. I don't care. As long as I'm happy that's all that matters.

Simple as.

DOOR SLAMS

When reasoning falls on deaf ears, Stacey fights fire with fire.

-Kaya, come here.

-I'm not in the m... I'm not talking.

-Huh?

-I don't want to talk.

You know what? That's not an option. Come here.

-It's not an option whether or not I talk?

-Talk to me.

-I don't want to talk.

-Well, I do!

-Well, I don't!

-I'm not giving up until you do.

-I'm not giving up, either.

This is America. You don't act that way here.

-It doesn't...

-You agreed to this.

-OK? You agreed to this.

-So either be a quitter or not.

OK? We don't quit around here.

Make up your mind right now if you're gonna quit.

-If you are, pack your trash and get out.

-I will do.

-I don't tolerate that crap.

-I won't tolerate BLEEP off you, either.

Don't speak to me like that. Go away.

DOOR SLAMS

BLEEP a police officer can speak to me like that. I don't think so.

She just thinks that every time the going gets a bit rough,

I walk away from it.

That's not the way life works.

That girl's got a lot to learn.

What Kaya doesn't know is that in Oklahoma,

it's illegal for a minor to run away from home.

Stacey has called one of his colleagues to bring her back.

Why are they stopping?

If they're getting out of that car for me, I'll swear.

-Hi.

-I'm leaving.

-Where are you gonna go?

-I don't know, but I'm leaving.

You're in the United States and we have laws here you need to respect.

-You're going back to the house.

-No, I'm not!

-Put it this way. I am a person. I have feelings.

-I understand.

-I'm not going back.

-Let's start this way, OK?

You're gonna see a different side of me. Get in the car or I'll make you get in.

-I'm not doing it.

-I'm being serious.

-Why the BLEEP do you want me to get in the car?

-There's no debate. You need to cool off.

I'm not gonna cool off.

You're taking the piss, man.

OK. Here's your first lesson in Oklahoma law enforcement.

See what just happened to you?

-I don't care.

-You don't care?

OK. Take her down the station, lock her in the holding cells to cool off.

My kids have sat in the police department with handcuffs on.

Tough love.

I have to care for her which is why we're going through all this.

Before she's taken to the cells,

police dispatcher Marsha Morgan has some wise words for Kaya.

You have to listen to somebody somewhere.

At your age, somebody has to give you guidance.

You may be used to getting your own way,

-but here's it's a little different.

-I knew it'd be hard,

but I didn't realise how hard it was gonna be.

It may not be something you like and I'm telling you here and now,

life is not a bed of roses. I don't know who promised you that,

but whoever did, they lied.

I can't physically do it. I'm emotionally drained.

I want to go home and be with family.

-But you have to give it a chance, Kaya.

-I can't.

Do you possibly think that if you go back right now

that they're gonna be proud of you?

-They'll say, "What did we do wrong?"

-I know.

I'm trying to get her to understand that at her age,

she's not always gonna get what she wants.

And if she quits on herself now,

she's gonna quit on herself for the rest of her life.

After two hours at the police station,

Kaya is cornered into making a decision.

I'm gonna go back to the house.

Give it one more shot tomorrow. If I don't like it, I'm going home.

Hey, Momma, she's back!

To be welcomed back by the Whites, Kaya must first make amends for her behaviour.

I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you today.

-And being disrespectful.

-I appreciate that very much.

Kaya, today was a real rough day for all of us.

I want you to know how happy I am you decided to stick with it.

From this point on, things go back to the way they were.

We had the rules. We go with the rules and do everything we're supposed to be doing,

as a family, as a team.

And hopefully we'll get through this week

-with a much healthier respect for each other.

-Mm-hmm.

I want you to understand that the only reason I push so hard

is cos I care so much.

A lot of it has to do with my past as a police officer.

It seems like I'm extremely hard.

But my heart is much bigger than my bite.

So...

-Can I get a hug?

-Yeah.

I appreciate it.

-I do appreciate you sticking with it.

-It's OK.

For Stacey, dealing with Kaya is an uncomfortable reminder

of why he parents the way he does.

I was still pretty young into law enforcement and I had a young lady

who was much like Kaya.

She was pushy, she was rebellious against authority.

She had shown pretty much most of the characteristics Kaya shows now.

I was so caught up in being a cop, so to speak,

that I didn't take those extra steps like I did today

to ensure that we got to the root of the problem.

And the young lady committed suicide.

So that's always haunted me. It still does, a lot.

Evening chores give Kaya the chance to reflect on the day's events.

In America they have a strong opinion

that they don't like quitters.

They like people to just get on with it.

You can't quit because some things in life you've got to do.

That's the way they see it. Which is right, but sometimes it's annoying.

He's just passed out!

Come on, Jay. Time to get up.

Kaya, time to wake up.

KAYA GRUMBLES

As chief of police, Stacey takes enormous pride in his community.

He insists all his children do regular volunteer work.

Today, he's offered the teens' services washing police cars

under the supervision of Deputy Chief Matier.

I just expect them to do the job right. Get it done

and not complain about it.

After yesterday's run-in with the law, Kaya's decided it's easier to do as she's told.

I can't be arsed to argue with anyone. I want to get on with it, and go back to the house.

But work-shy Jay has a problem.

It's too hot. I'm not doing it.

I'll do something else. But I'm not cleaning cars. They're not my cars and it's not my community.

-It's not your community, but it's our community.

-Look at the weather!

-It's too hot. I don't feel good. I can't be bothered.

-Listen to me.

This is too hot, Stacey. I'm sorry.

Come on. Suck it up for 30 minutes. Toughen up, OK?

That's all I'm asking you to do. Just suck it up.

It's just bollocks.

I never done anything wrong. I'm never going in the back of these.

What they should do

is the criminals, they should be BLEEP cleaning them.

Regardless of where his frustration level is, there's no reason to be disrespectful.

We're just gonna have to hash that out later.

Deputy Chief Matier wants to know about Jay's life in the UK.

-Do you have a job back home?

-No.

-You're at school?

-Dropped out.

-What kinda job are you looking for?

-I'm not.

-You're not?

The pressure to make something of his life is getting to Jay.

I just want a cigarette or a spliff. This is just bollocks.

Jay, you all right, man?

I need a cigarette. I need to smoke.

I can't let you smoke anywhere here.

It's against the law.

Everything I do at home, I don't get stressed. I can't get stressed cos I'm too high to.

Here, I can't do anything. I can't even smoke. I don't even like smoking.

I only smoke if I can't have weed, which ain't very often.

You can't smoke that weed either, man. It's not good for you.

It makes you dumb.

HORN BLARES OUT

What it is, wash off the cars, get it done, get back to the house.

Doing a good job.

Jay, begrudgingly, finishes the job.

But Deputy Matier has got him thinking about his attitude.

I don't have motivation in England.

There's no motivation.

I don't want to do anything.

It's like, "So what?"

I'm with all my friends and everything.

I know it's a bit of fun, but they do so much stuff over here.

Like, I don't know. It's just weird.

Although Jay completed his task, Stacey has unfinished business to attend to.

What happened out there today at the police department, OK, was...

..in my mind totally unacceptable.

And the manner in which you spoke to me

I can't tolerate that out of any of my kids or any of my officers.

No matter what had happened,

it gave you no right to be disrespectful to me.

I apologise for that. I know it wasn't right,

but that's all I can say is sorry.

We need to have a clear understanding of how it works here.

You broke one of the rules, OK? So there needs to be a punishment for what happened.

OK. Go get the rifle. We'll get started.

Laziness and disrespect go against every value instilled in him

during his service in the Marine Corps.

-OK.

-Four minutes with the rifle. Go.

The dummy rifle weighs 12 pounds.

But this is not a test of physical strength.

Three minutes.

It's a punishment designed to create self discipline...

One minute.

..and one Stacey was made to do hundreds of times when he was a cadet.

Ten, nine, eight,

seven, six,

five, four,

three, two,

one. Put it down.

OK.

That's it.

I'm proud of you. I really am.

Yeah, it uh...

..that's a true man in the making right there.

I mean, my gosh!

I'm proud of him.

Sometimes you forget the human side.

When you strive so much to be tough

then things like this happen that remind you that,

"Wow, I do have feelings."

I'm happy right now.

I really am.

Seeing such determination

has left Stacey curious about Jay's defeatist attitude.

What caused Jay to develop to where he's at today?

It was a lot to do with my real father.

I had a BLEEP upbringing to begin with. It was awful.

Some of the stuff I saw and I went through...

I do hate my father.

But I hate him not for what he done, but for what he didn't do.

I understand that.

He didn't bring me up.

At the age of five I had to act like a 13-year-old.

My mum loved me to bits, I know she did, but she had her own problems.

I needed to take pressure off her. The only way to do that was by growing up too quickly.

How do you feel about yourself right now?

I still think I'm living in my childhood.

My parents say, "You're an adult. You're an adult."

But I've never shown them that I'm an adult.

Chatting to Stacey has got Jay thinking about home.

I miss my family and I don't appreciate them.

When you've got all those feelings going round your head,

it makes you realise what you're actually here for.

It's because you do need to change.

He's not the only one contemplating family.

Me being in America, it's a bit weird

cos obviously I want to go home cos I miss everyone.

I miss Mum and Dad a lot. Can't wait for the week to hurry up.

SIREN WAILS

It's 2.00am. Kaya has been rushed to hospital.

She complained of feeling unwell,

mentioning insect bites as a possible cause.

When she became unresponsive, Stacey called an ambulance.

The doctors can't find any physical symptoms.

The medics have suspicions

that it was a "put on" episode.

If she actually has a medical problem of any sort

it would have come out.

They would have found it in there.

Hell, only Kaya knows.

After extensive tests, Kaya is discharged.

The doctors who saw her described her episode as "most likely malingering".

I'm just gonna go and get some sleep before I act upon anything.

It's never a good idea to act when you're angry and tired.

It's only the teens' fourth morning in America.

Last night's drama has left the whole family shocked and confused.

She's faking.

-JAY:

-I don't know what to think.

If she was faking it, I don't think she'd let it go that far.

But...

I've only known her four days, so you never know.

But Kaya has no doubts about what she's doing.

I'm packing cos I'm going home.

I'm ill. I can't do this.

I'm physically drained. Actually, now I am.

I don't give two BLEEP what anyone says.

With the doctors' diagnosis on his mind,

Stacey had concluded that Kaya's episode was an elaborate plan to get home.

First of all, how are you feeling? Are you still feeling sickly?

I feel a bit better, but I feel I need to go to sleep,

but I can't sleep because I've slept enough.

If you had to go back through everything that happened,

-do you think it would have been different?

-What do you mean?

-With what happened last night.

-No, not at all, cos that was how I felt.

I felt ill. I couldn't open my eyes properly. It's how I felt.

I can't change what happened last night.

If I could, I would. But I can't.

I'll tell you I don't feel like it was really that bad.

I think that your illness last night

wasn't as extreme as led on to be.

I personally, having medical experience and training,

OK, um...

saw that your symptoms that you had

weren't indicative of a sting or bite.

It was merely some medicinal drama that didn't need to be there.

And it really hurt a lot of people.

That's how you feel. If that's your opinion, that's your opinion.

I'm not bothered.

At the end of the day I'm going home and that's it. It's finished.

Excuse me.

The conversation has confirmed Stacey's suspicions.

All I want is admission now, but that's not gonna happen. I tried.

If this is the type of ethics that she's going to have,

I think... I think she needs to be sent home.

I've gone as far as I'm prepared to go.

He wants to inform Kaya's parents of the situation.

Can I ask you, sir, have we had similar incidents

to what happened last night in the past with her?

I think this is drama.

I was ready to send her home today, but now I'm upset.

I'm now inclined to make her stick it out and not make it easy on her.

OK.

-'Bye.'

-Bye-bye.

These people truly are at their wits' end.

In my line of work,

when you absolutely refuse someone asking for your help

it's called negligence of duty.

I have a parent here asking for my help, you know?

I've already made that mistake of turning my back once.

I just can't do it again.

Hey, Kaya!

Come in and sit down.

OK.

Your father made it very clear to me...

..that he and your mother have endured insurmountable pain,

but that they love you so dearly

that this was what they felt you needed.

I know that, but I'm still not staying.

I know how my mum and dad feel. I know what I've done wrong.

I'm not staying. I can't. Sorry.

Your father nearly begged me to make you see this through.

And with cracked voice and I could tell what was beginning to be tears,

was asking me to help.

He doesn't need help because he doesn't know what I'm gonna be like when I get back.

-Mum and Dad don't know.

-What do you mean?

This has obviously changed me a lot.

What do you think you've learned?

I feel like I've learnt enough.

They're expecting you to see it through.

I don't care what anyone says. I need to go home.

I can't do it. I just can't.

Stop and think about it for a second the words that you're saying. "I can't. I can't."

-You can do anything you want to do.

-But I don't want to.

It's simple as that. I don't want to stay.

-Go dry your eyes up.

-OK.

She's done.

Making her stay here is gonna create more misery for our kids. I'm not gonna go through that.

I can't. It's hurting our family.

Think about others. Think about other people when you're going through life.

-OK.

-Good luck, baby.

Good luck too, for you.

-We love you.

-Love you, too.

-Take care.

-I will do.

I'm sure she has, in her mind, gotten what she wanted,

which was to be away from here and back home

where she can act however she wants.

But, bottom line, she hasn't learned anything here.

She'll continue on the destructive path she has chosen for herself.

She's got a long road ahead of her. I wish her the best, I really do.

For me, enough's enough. It's time to go home, back to where I belong.

As Kaya starts her journey home,

in Manchester her parents are left to contemplate their family's future.

-Well...

-I was devastated when I found out she was coming home.

I couldn't even speak. Completely numb.

I can't believe she's not followed it through to the end.

I said to her "You've got to meet middle ground with people.

"You can't have everything your way."

The thing is, she knows she could have done it.

-Oh, yeah.

-She just chose not to.

The point is, if that doesn't work, what is going to?

-All right?

-Yeah.

With just a short time before he's due to leave,

Stacey and Shannon are determined that Jay learns some valuable lessons.

-SHANNON:

-Jay is coming and being nicey, nicey, nicey.

"I'll do exactly what you say and then you're gonna like me."

That tells me a lot that he doesn't have the confidence in himself

to realise that he doesn't have to put the act on.

Once he realises that he is good and he's someone that's worth something,

I think that'll take him a long ways.

Stacey is a police firearms instructor for Oklahoma.

He believes weapons training can instil a sense of maturity and responsibility.

Welcome to the range!

He wants to show Jay just how much faith he has in him.

Jay's parents have given permission for Stacey to entrust him with a loaded gun.

OK, Jay, what you have here are the Government-model 1911s,

a .45 ACP. That's a .45-calibre round.

Do you want to hold it?

If someone gets shot with a .45, they're going down.

Even if they're carrying body armour, they're gonna hurt.

The Oklahoma law enforcement philosophy is you shoot to kill.

You don't want hot brass going down your shirt.

Fire when ready.

Lock it.

Let's see what you did to him.

Well, that guy's definitely dead and/or badly wounded.

-That could have just saved someone.

-Mm-hmm.

It's fun, isn't it? Want to do some more?

OK, Jay. This is the M4 AR-15 assault rifle.

It's a 5.56 millimetre.

You place those cross hairs in the middle of your target.

Understand?

OK?

Inspired by Stacey's trust,

Jay summons the courage to ask for advice.

I don't want people to think of Jay Birch like,

"Well, he could have been, but he weren't."

I'm fed up with that.

When I told my father that I'd joined the Marines, he said, "You won't make it."

He said, "They're too tough for you."

Well, I was gonna prove him wrong. And I did prove him wrong.

It's a matter of mentally telling yourself, "I'm gonna do this."

That's all it takes.

There's always the fear of failure. Always the fear.

Each time you get knocked down,

you've got to pick yourself up and say, "Hell, bring it on!

"Hit me again if you want."

I believe in you and I've only known you for a week.

I'm telling you the truth.

I believe you can do it. You can excel in whatever you want to do.

Jay is starting to accept why he's never tried at anything.

I'm afraid of other people seeing me fail

cos I'm a person that never likes to fail.

I don't set myself any goals because that way I can't fail, so no-one can see it.

When Jay's family sent him to Oklahoma,

their main hope was that he would find a way to move forward from the family's bereavement.

Jay's niece, Molly, was four years, coming up for five.

She very suddenly had a droopy face.

My daughter took her to the doctor's who sent her up the hospital.

Within three weeks of going up to London, Molly died.

It's devastated us.

One week I was sitting watching a favourite film with her,

playing around, having a play fight, mucking around.

The next week I'm sitting up at King's Hospital and I'm just...

I can't explain it,

you feel empty cos I believed that she was gonna get through it.

I built myself up,

built myself up, built myself up, but it didn't come through.

That's what knocked me down. That's kind of why I don't get my hopes up no more.

I don't think he's dealt with it at all.

I don't think he's dealt with her being in hospital,

the funeral.

I think losing Molly has made him think, "Don't look into the future,

"there's no point in planning a future

"because it could all go wrong."

It's Jay's last evening with the Whites.

Stacey has news from home.

We'll let you alone.

"My darling Jay,

"where you're going with your life now we do not know.

"I, as your mum, want so much more for you.

"But you need to get a grip and sort your life out.

"I think you've come to a standstill in your life.

"You seem to have given up since Molly died. Trust me when I say I want to give up too,

"but we all need to carry on.

"I am not your dad, but I am very proud to call you my son.

"All I want you...

"All I want you to do is achieve the best you can do

"with the maximum effort coming from you."

I've just never bothered in life.

And I've...

..not wasted my life, but it's beginning to get that way.

I thought I was only pissing her off. I didn't think I was actually hurting her like that.

I've let 'em down too many times.

I can't do it again. It's not an option no more.

Jay must now return to his own parents back in England.

Shannon and Stacey hope honorary membership of Kiefer's police department

will be a constant reminder of his time in Oklahoma.

Oh, my God!

Thank you.

You're very welcome.

It just means so much.

You earned it.

Thank you for coming into our lives.

You don't give up on yourself.

'They've made me see sense.

'They've made me see things that I wasn't willing to accept.'

I can do so much more with my life.

Kaya's parents have had three days

to get over the shock of her early departure.

MUM: 'I'd like an acknowledgement, really, more than an apology.

Just for her to know that what she did was wrong.

They both know the future is uncertain.

For your sake more than anyone's, not mine, not your mum's,

for your sake I hope you've brought back with you some good points that's gonna help you.

It does seem as you baled out. It's just disappointing

after putting as much as you put in, your mum put in and me.

I'm sorry for what I've put you through in the past

cos I know it was wrong.

-Don't cry.

-I want you to learn, mate, that's all.

Just learn by it, Kaya.

I hope Jay's come back with a better attitude to life.

I'm home!

-How you been?

-I'm all right.

I feel really clear about myself. I feel revitalised.

I have more confidence in myself instead of everyone else having confidence in me.

I needed it and I've got it now. I know what I wanna do and I'll do it.

You've come back a man! I've never heard you say that before, Jay.

No, I've not heard it before.

You don't know how proud and how much love my heart holds for you.

Next time on the World's Strictest Parents...

It was ridiculous. I felt so invaded.

Catch up with teens from across the series.

She had a fag in her hand, some vodka in her hand. A bit pissed!

I can smell it from here!

Go BLEEP yourself.

Evil thing am I to do that to a family.

And find out whether their experiences changed their lives...

It was the best thing I could have ever done in the whole of my life.

..or was swiftly forgotten.

There has been a little bit of change,

but not as much as, say, my mother would think.

-Thank you, darling. That's lovely.

-That's all right.

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