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Starting a new life far from home | 0:00:02 | 0:00:03 | |
can seem like a very exciting prospect | 0:00:03 | 0:00:06 | |
but can the reality match up to your hopes | 0:00:06 | 0:00:08 | |
and what if your family doesn't share your dream? | 0:00:08 | 0:00:11 | |
In 2009, Sharon Cole faced exactly that dilemma. | 0:00:11 | 0:00:15 | |
Today, we'll find out where the answer led. | 0:00:15 | 0:00:18 | |
Sharon Cole had separated from her husband | 0:00:18 | 0:00:20 | |
and wanted a new life for herself and her boys. | 0:00:20 | 0:00:23 | |
She was looking for a fresh start Down Under. | 0:00:25 | 0:00:28 | |
Everybody's enjoying just living, and I want to have that as well. | 0:00:28 | 0:00:32 | |
But older son Oliver and his brother Alex weren't so sure. | 0:00:32 | 0:00:36 | |
She wants to move on, she wants to drag us with her. | 0:00:36 | 0:00:38 | |
'It's got to be our decision as well if she's got to move.' | 0:00:38 | 0:00:42 | |
So three years on, have they come any closer to making that decision? | 0:00:42 | 0:00:47 | |
It's a dream, really, to think | 0:00:47 | 0:00:48 | |
that you could leave everything you've ever known | 0:00:48 | 0:00:51 | |
and go so far away and actually be able to earn a living, | 0:00:51 | 0:00:55 | |
so that you could live there. | 0:00:55 | 0:00:57 | |
In 2009, the Cole family | 0:01:19 | 0:01:22 | |
spent a week experiencing everyday life in New Zealand. | 0:01:22 | 0:01:25 | |
At the end of it, they'd have to decide | 0:01:25 | 0:01:27 | |
if they wanted to make the move Down Under for good. | 0:01:27 | 0:01:30 | |
Three years on, we're catching up with them | 0:01:30 | 0:01:32 | |
to find out what's happened next. | 0:01:32 | 0:01:34 | |
Sharon Cole lived with her two sons, | 0:01:36 | 0:01:38 | |
17-year-old Oliver and 14-year-old Alex, in Shipley, Yorkshire. | 0:01:38 | 0:01:43 | |
But Sharon was considering leaving it all behind. | 0:01:43 | 0:01:46 | |
She'd been separated from Richard, | 0:01:46 | 0:01:48 | |
her husband and father of her sons, for six years. | 0:01:48 | 0:01:51 | |
and she hoped New Zealand could provide the new life she dreamed of. | 0:01:51 | 0:01:55 | |
This house, in many ways, has a lot of sad memories for me | 0:01:56 | 0:02:01 | |
because of Richard leaving and everything. | 0:02:01 | 0:02:03 | |
And it's about a house that we shared, and I think in one way, | 0:02:03 | 0:02:07 | |
it would be good for me to do something completely different. | 0:02:07 | 0:02:11 | |
Sharon worked in a hospice as a palliative care social worker, | 0:02:11 | 0:02:15 | |
providing support to terminally ill patients and their families. | 0:02:15 | 0:02:19 | |
Moving Down Under would have been a huge upheaval, | 0:02:19 | 0:02:23 | |
and she hoped that sticking to a job she loved | 0:02:23 | 0:02:25 | |
would provide the stability she needed. | 0:02:25 | 0:02:29 | |
I want to stay in palliative care, | 0:02:29 | 0:02:31 | |
I want to do this probably until I retire. | 0:02:31 | 0:02:34 | |
It's rewarding because of the very nature of the work. | 0:02:34 | 0:02:37 | |
If I couldn't find a similar job, that would probably be a reason not to go. | 0:02:37 | 0:02:42 | |
Fitness-mad Oliver can see the benefits of a more outdoor life in New Zealand. | 0:02:42 | 0:02:48 | |
It's got less people, and it's less crowded. | 0:02:49 | 0:02:52 | |
It's just a better area, I think. | 0:02:52 | 0:02:54 | |
It's easier to get jobs, I think, there because there's more | 0:02:54 | 0:02:57 | |
space for that kind of thing. | 0:02:57 | 0:02:59 | |
But Sharon was the real driving force behind moving | 0:02:59 | 0:03:02 | |
and the boys could see just how important it was to her. | 0:03:02 | 0:03:06 | |
I don't think it's just about moving house, it's just everything | 0:03:07 | 0:03:10 | |
in our whole life has been in the same place. | 0:03:10 | 0:03:13 | |
She just wants to have a new adventure somewhere else. | 0:03:13 | 0:03:17 | |
She just needs to start again and needs a new, happy lifestyle. | 0:03:17 | 0:03:21 | |
She continually wants a break from memories of this life. | 0:03:21 | 0:03:26 | |
When we're on holiday, she forgets everything but when she comes back | 0:03:26 | 0:03:29 | |
to it, it's like, "Oh, I remember all this," and horrible bad memories creep up on her. | 0:03:29 | 0:03:34 | |
I want her to have a new beginning, even if I'm not included in it. | 0:03:34 | 0:03:39 | |
I want her to be happy. | 0:03:39 | 0:03:41 | |
Shipley had always been the boys' home | 0:03:41 | 0:03:43 | |
and Sharon was concerned about taking them away | 0:03:43 | 0:03:46 | |
from their father and friends. | 0:03:46 | 0:03:48 | |
Would it be the right choice? | 0:03:48 | 0:03:51 | |
My main concern is the boys, | 0:03:51 | 0:03:53 | |
because they're the most important people in my life and their happiness matters to me more than anything. | 0:03:53 | 0:03:59 | |
And I'm frightened that I would do this for me and perhaps, | 0:03:59 | 0:04:03 | |
you know, they would get there and think, "What's happened? | 0:04:03 | 0:04:06 | |
"There's nobody around that we know, nothing is familiar any more, | 0:04:06 | 0:04:09 | |
"Dad's a long way away," | 0:04:09 | 0:04:11 | |
and I'm frightened that I might be wrecking their lives, I suppose, | 0:04:11 | 0:04:16 | |
that maybe I'll destabilise them in some way, | 0:04:16 | 0:04:19 | |
because their security is really important. | 0:04:19 | 0:04:22 | |
Sharon was facing a huge decision. | 0:04:22 | 0:04:25 | |
The Coles began their trial week in New Zealand. | 0:04:31 | 0:04:35 | |
The journey from Shipley to Auckland | 0:04:35 | 0:04:37 | |
had crossed three continents and more than 12,000 miles, | 0:04:37 | 0:04:41 | |
further than any of them had ever been before | 0:04:41 | 0:04:43 | |
but even after a 30-hour flight, Sharon was still raring to go. | 0:04:43 | 0:04:48 | |
I'm looking forward to seeing how people work here | 0:04:50 | 0:04:54 | |
and how it compares to what we do at home. | 0:04:54 | 0:04:57 | |
I'm excited to see, just everything. | 0:04:57 | 0:05:01 | |
Although I'm not sure the boys agreed. | 0:05:01 | 0:05:03 | |
We're tired, hungry. | 0:05:03 | 0:05:06 | |
Looking forward to sleeping. | 0:05:06 | 0:05:09 | |
For the final leg of their journey, | 0:05:10 | 0:05:12 | |
the Coles headed off to their accommodation for the week. | 0:05:12 | 0:05:15 | |
They were staying in the pretty Bush area of Titirangi in west Auckland. | 0:05:16 | 0:05:21 | |
The house was an open-plan three-bedroom home | 0:05:21 | 0:05:24 | |
with space for the family to roam around in. | 0:05:24 | 0:05:26 | |
Oh, my goodness, just look at that view, Oliver. | 0:05:29 | 0:05:32 | |
I just can't believe it's got this in the back garden. | 0:05:32 | 0:05:35 | |
This is amazing. | 0:05:35 | 0:05:38 | |
Hopefully the inside would be just as impressive. | 0:05:38 | 0:05:41 | |
Oh, I love this room. | 0:05:41 | 0:05:42 | |
Just look at the view. | 0:05:42 | 0:05:44 | |
I mean, this is just amazing. Wherever you look, you see the sea. | 0:05:44 | 0:05:49 | |
I would just be in heaven living here. I love it. | 0:05:49 | 0:05:53 | |
Let's see some more! | 0:05:53 | 0:05:55 | |
I call this room. This room has a guitar in it. | 0:05:56 | 0:06:00 | |
Have you seen this room? All the rooms are so light! | 0:06:00 | 0:06:03 | |
As initial reactions go, Sharon's were definitely promising, | 0:06:03 | 0:06:06 | |
so how was she feeling about her first taste of New Zealand life? | 0:06:06 | 0:06:11 | |
When you're actually here, it all seems possible and you think, | 0:06:11 | 0:06:15 | |
"Fantastic, I just want to be here." | 0:06:15 | 0:06:17 | |
But after the initial excitement of arriving, | 0:06:17 | 0:06:20 | |
how did the boys really feel? | 0:06:20 | 0:06:23 | |
I prefer being in Britain just based on what I've seen so far, really. | 0:06:23 | 0:06:28 | |
It's more in my comfort zone. | 0:06:28 | 0:06:31 | |
I know where everything is, it's just easier. | 0:06:31 | 0:06:35 | |
I can imagine coming here on holiday, | 0:06:35 | 0:06:39 | |
and spending a few days here. I couldn't imagine living here yet. | 0:06:39 | 0:06:43 | |
It looked like Sharon would have her work cut out | 0:06:43 | 0:06:46 | |
convince them to move here for good. | 0:06:46 | 0:06:50 | |
Back in the UK, the Coles lived in a three-bed semi-detached house in Shipley. | 0:06:54 | 0:06:59 | |
It was a tight squeeze, and Alex had drawn the short straw | 0:06:59 | 0:07:02 | |
with the tiny third bedroom, but it was in a great location | 0:07:02 | 0:07:06 | |
on the Yorkshire Moors, which Sharon loved. | 0:07:06 | 0:07:09 | |
However, she was ready for a change of scenery. | 0:07:09 | 0:07:11 | |
In New Zealand, they were hoping to find | 0:07:13 | 0:07:15 | |
a three-bedroomed house with character, set in the countryside | 0:07:15 | 0:07:19 | |
but near to amenities. | 0:07:19 | 0:07:21 | |
Sharon wanted to be mortgage-free, | 0:07:21 | 0:07:23 | |
and had a budget of £185,000 in mind | 0:07:23 | 0:07:26 | |
but was this realistic? | 0:07:26 | 0:07:28 | |
Property one was a three-bedroomed detached house in Titirangi village. | 0:07:31 | 0:07:35 | |
At the time, it was on the market | 0:07:35 | 0:07:37 | |
for around £170,000, | 0:07:37 | 0:07:40 | |
so comfortably within budget. | 0:07:40 | 0:07:42 | |
Right, let's take a look at the property. | 0:07:42 | 0:07:45 | |
But would it impress? | 0:07:45 | 0:07:47 | |
Sharon wanted somewhere with character. | 0:07:47 | 0:07:50 | |
Would she like the retro look? | 0:07:50 | 0:07:52 | |
Oh, it's got the old '50s-style furniture, as well. | 0:07:52 | 0:07:55 | |
It has. It's really in keeping with the era of the property. | 0:07:55 | 0:08:00 | |
Is that an open fire? | 0:08:00 | 0:08:01 | |
It's a wood burner which is very typical, again, of Kiwi properties. | 0:08:01 | 0:08:07 | |
-That would be nice if it was cleaned up. -You've also got polished timber floors as well. | 0:08:07 | 0:08:12 | |
I like the floors and I like the fireplace. | 0:08:12 | 0:08:15 | |
Obviously, the decor isn't to my taste at all. | 0:08:15 | 0:08:18 | |
But I can see that it suits the house. | 0:08:18 | 0:08:21 | |
Floorboards and a fireplace alone weren't going to clinch it. | 0:08:21 | 0:08:25 | |
So what did Sharon think of the bedrooms? | 0:08:25 | 0:08:27 | |
So, this is one of the large double bedrooms. | 0:08:29 | 0:08:33 | |
It's just out of date, really, isn't it? | 0:08:35 | 0:08:37 | |
There's not much room for a wardrobe in here, if you had a double bed. | 0:08:37 | 0:08:42 | |
But what about Alex's bedroom? | 0:08:42 | 0:08:44 | |
Did it have the extra space he was looking for? | 0:08:44 | 0:08:47 | |
You could get a single bed, possibly a double bed in here. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:51 | |
I don't think you could get a double in... | 0:08:51 | 0:08:54 | |
If you had a double bed in here, you would have to take that out. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:57 | |
-Yes, you would. -Yes. | 0:08:57 | 0:08:59 | |
Still, it's bigger than Alexander's current room. | 0:08:59 | 0:09:02 | |
Alex wasn't convinced. | 0:09:02 | 0:09:04 | |
Would the garden be able to make up for the tiny bedroom? | 0:09:04 | 0:09:07 | |
Oh, this is nice, I like the open aspect. | 0:09:08 | 0:09:14 | |
Property one wasn't quite right. | 0:09:14 | 0:09:16 | |
It certainly had plenty of character, | 0:09:18 | 0:09:20 | |
but not to anyone's taste. | 0:09:20 | 0:09:22 | |
So what was the final verdict? | 0:09:22 | 0:09:24 | |
I think the inside is quirky and interesting, | 0:09:25 | 0:09:29 | |
even though it is not furnished in my style. | 0:09:29 | 0:09:32 | |
Could you see yourself living here? | 0:09:32 | 0:09:34 | |
-Not really. -I would still have a small room if we moved here. -Yes. | 0:09:34 | 0:09:39 | |
And everything is a bit... | 0:09:39 | 0:09:42 | |
just small. | 0:09:42 | 0:09:44 | |
It was on to property two, in the hope that this had | 0:09:44 | 0:09:47 | |
the all-important big third bedroom for Alex. | 0:09:47 | 0:09:51 | |
The house was in Laingholm, | 0:09:51 | 0:09:53 | |
a pretty coastal area surrounded by lush green hills. | 0:09:53 | 0:09:57 | |
The property had three bedrooms | 0:09:57 | 0:09:59 | |
and a decent garden. | 0:09:59 | 0:10:00 | |
Back in 2009, it was slightly over budget | 0:10:00 | 0:10:02 | |
at £190,000. | 0:10:02 | 0:10:05 | |
This is bigger. | 0:10:09 | 0:10:11 | |
It feels more spacious. Do they have a dishwasher? | 0:10:13 | 0:10:16 | |
No, there's no dishwashers. | 0:10:16 | 0:10:18 | |
Well, you've got two. Over there! | 0:10:18 | 0:10:21 | |
I don't think the boys had quite adjusted to Kiwi humour | 0:10:21 | 0:10:25 | |
but Sharon soon noticed that the house was low-lying | 0:10:25 | 0:10:28 | |
and set in a valley with a stream running through it | 0:10:28 | 0:10:31 | |
so she had some important questions for estate agent Edwina. | 0:10:31 | 0:10:35 | |
Is there any flooding in this area? | 0:10:35 | 0:10:37 | |
We've actually got flooding down the bottom of Sandy's Parade. | 0:10:37 | 0:10:41 | |
There does appear to be quite a bit of flooding. | 0:10:41 | 0:10:44 | |
So, would this house be at risk? | 0:10:44 | 0:10:46 | |
I'd say, with the stream down here, you'd need to be mindful of that. | 0:10:46 | 0:10:50 | |
That wasn't the answer Sharon was looking for. | 0:10:50 | 0:10:53 | |
Would the rest of the property be able to win them over? | 0:10:53 | 0:10:56 | |
-So, this is one of the bedrooms? -It is, this is the main room. | 0:10:56 | 0:11:00 | |
And it has its own en-suite. | 0:11:00 | 0:11:03 | |
A good start on the bedrooms so far. But would they all be this big? | 0:11:03 | 0:11:07 | |
Let's have a look in here. | 0:11:07 | 0:11:09 | |
-This is used as a study now? -It is. | 0:11:09 | 0:11:11 | |
-How many bedrooms does the property have? -It's three bedrooms. | 0:11:11 | 0:11:14 | |
-Does this include this one? -It does. | 0:11:14 | 0:11:16 | |
-It is slightly on the tinier side. -Yeah. | 0:11:16 | 0:11:19 | |
It was another cupboard for poor Alex | 0:11:19 | 0:11:22 | |
so would his brother get the bigger room again? | 0:11:22 | 0:11:25 | |
-Oh, this is a better size. -It certainly is. | 0:11:25 | 0:11:28 | |
It's a pity we can't get three bedrooms with two... | 0:11:28 | 0:11:31 | |
-the other two bedrooms this size. -This size. | 0:11:31 | 0:11:34 | |
It was another lukewarm response | 0:11:34 | 0:11:36 | |
and this house simply wasn't quite right. | 0:11:36 | 0:11:39 | |
I really like the setting. I think it is gorgeous. | 0:11:40 | 0:11:43 | |
I like the size of the house. | 0:11:43 | 0:11:45 | |
Even though the third bedroom is small, | 0:11:45 | 0:11:48 | |
it has a much more spacious feel. | 0:11:48 | 0:11:51 | |
But if there was any kind of flooding risk, I wouldn't buy it. | 0:11:51 | 0:11:56 | |
With the risk of flooding and another small bedroom for Alex, | 0:11:56 | 0:12:00 | |
it just didn't have what the Coles were looking for | 0:12:00 | 0:12:02 | |
and it was all up to the final house to win them over to Kiwi properties. | 0:12:02 | 0:12:06 | |
House number three was on higher land | 0:12:08 | 0:12:11 | |
and nearer to the main village of Titirangi. | 0:12:11 | 0:12:14 | |
It was a three-bedroom property, but to make the most of the views, | 0:12:14 | 0:12:17 | |
the bedrooms were downstairs and the living space was above. | 0:12:17 | 0:12:21 | |
But at £217,000 back then, | 0:12:21 | 0:12:24 | |
it was well over budget. | 0:12:24 | 0:12:25 | |
Beautiful view. This is about as noisy as Laingholm ever gets. | 0:12:29 | 0:12:32 | |
This must be a nice spot to sit. | 0:12:32 | 0:12:33 | |
-Yeah, that's a gin and tonic corner. -Yeah. | 0:12:33 | 0:12:36 | |
Sharon was sold on the views, | 0:12:36 | 0:12:38 | |
but the deciding factor would be the size of that third bedroom. | 0:12:38 | 0:12:41 | |
Would it be big enough for a bed and Alex? | 0:12:41 | 0:12:44 | |
Which wall is six feet long? | 0:12:44 | 0:12:46 | |
So, a single bed would go down this way. | 0:12:46 | 0:12:48 | |
-It would fit there, would it? -I'd be happy with that room. | 0:12:48 | 0:12:51 | |
So a slightly bigger room, | 0:12:51 | 0:12:53 | |
but would the other bedrooms downstairs be up to standard? | 0:12:53 | 0:12:57 | |
How would this work for you? | 0:12:57 | 0:12:58 | |
It's OK, but I'd prefer my windows lower down. | 0:12:58 | 0:13:02 | |
-Would you? -Yeah. | 0:13:02 | 0:13:03 | |
-I think, cos I like... -For the light, or...? | 0:13:03 | 0:13:05 | |
No, just because if you're actually sitting on the bed, | 0:13:05 | 0:13:09 | |
-you can see above you but you can't see at eye level. -Yes. | 0:13:09 | 0:13:13 | |
-It's OK as a second bedroom. -Hmm. | 0:13:13 | 0:13:16 | |
Would the master bedroom look more promising to Sharon? | 0:13:16 | 0:13:20 | |
Oh, now, this is better. | 0:13:21 | 0:13:22 | |
-Now, this is good. -Yeah. | 0:13:22 | 0:13:24 | |
You see, I can see outside now, which is what I was meaning. | 0:13:24 | 0:13:28 | |
-That's lovely. -So, a good-sized master, loads of wardrobe space. | 0:13:28 | 0:13:32 | |
Sharon liked the views, but wasn't completely won over. | 0:13:32 | 0:13:36 | |
Despite the small bedroom, | 0:13:36 | 0:13:38 | |
surprisingly, it was Alex who had taken a real shine to this house. | 0:13:38 | 0:13:41 | |
-You were quite excited when we walked up the drive. -Yeah. | 0:13:41 | 0:13:44 | |
He wanted to buy it before we'd even come inside. Didn't you? | 0:13:44 | 0:13:47 | |
You said, "It's awesome. Buy it, Mum, and I'll come to New Zealand now." | 0:13:47 | 0:13:50 | |
SHE CHUCKLES | 0:13:50 | 0:13:52 | |
Which is... Which is encouraging, | 0:13:52 | 0:13:54 | |
because if we find the house that's right for all of us, you know... | 0:13:54 | 0:13:57 | |
Just, like...so good. | 0:13:57 | 0:14:00 | |
It's just...brilliant. | 0:14:00 | 0:14:02 | |
That was great news for Sharon, | 0:14:04 | 0:14:06 | |
but it looked like she and Oliver might need more persuading. | 0:14:06 | 0:14:10 | |
So how did they vote on property? | 0:14:10 | 0:14:13 | |
I like the fact that all the houses in New Zealand are individual, | 0:14:15 | 0:14:18 | |
and that they're all in lovely settings. | 0:14:18 | 0:14:21 | |
I'm worried about the fact that they're not as solidly made as English houses. | 0:14:21 | 0:14:25 | |
Comparing them to British homes, British homes have smaller spaces. | 0:14:25 | 0:14:29 | |
In New Zealand, they're all different | 0:14:29 | 0:14:31 | |
and they all have fantastic views. | 0:14:31 | 0:14:33 | |
I'm going to pick... | 0:14:33 | 0:14:35 | |
New Zealand! | 0:14:35 | 0:14:37 | |
New Zealand. | 0:14:37 | 0:14:39 | |
I'm going to vote, right now, with... | 0:14:39 | 0:14:41 | |
..the UK. | 0:14:43 | 0:14:45 | |
It was a big turnaround. | 0:14:45 | 0:14:47 | |
All along, Sharon had been the driving force behind a move to New Zealand | 0:14:47 | 0:14:51 | |
and now she was the one voting for home. | 0:14:51 | 0:14:54 | |
There was a lot at stake in making the move to New Zealand. | 0:14:59 | 0:15:03 | |
Not only would Sharon be taking the boys away from their father, | 0:15:03 | 0:15:07 | |
she'd also be moving away from the life they all knew well. | 0:15:07 | 0:15:12 | |
So, after the disappointment of Kiwi property, | 0:15:12 | 0:15:14 | |
it was even more important that Sharon felt confident | 0:15:14 | 0:15:18 | |
New Zealand could offer them all a better lifestyle. | 0:15:18 | 0:15:22 | |
They'd come to an outdoor thermal spa on the Hibiscus Coast | 0:15:22 | 0:15:25 | |
to spend some family time together, | 0:15:25 | 0:15:28 | |
doing something they'd never been able to do back in Shipley. | 0:15:28 | 0:15:31 | |
BOYS LAUGH | 0:15:37 | 0:15:38 | |
No, you're not pushing me! | 0:15:38 | 0:15:40 | |
You're not pushing me. | 0:15:40 | 0:15:42 | |
We're here to give you our support. | 0:15:42 | 0:15:44 | |
I can do without a challenge like this. | 0:15:47 | 0:15:50 | |
It's called Bob's Mistake for a reason. | 0:15:50 | 0:15:54 | |
It means that you find out too late that you shouldn't have done it. | 0:15:54 | 0:15:57 | |
-Oh, my God. -Go on. | 0:15:57 | 0:16:00 | |
Oh, my Lord. | 0:16:00 | 0:16:02 | |
HE CHUCKLES It's not funny! | 0:16:02 | 0:16:04 | |
It isn't funny, Oliver! | 0:16:04 | 0:16:05 | |
SHE SQUEALS | 0:16:05 | 0:16:07 | |
HE CHUCKLES | 0:16:12 | 0:16:13 | |
Great! | 0:16:13 | 0:16:14 | |
She's a good sport | 0:16:17 | 0:16:19 | |
but she's not exactly doing it of her own will. | 0:16:19 | 0:16:22 | |
Water slides are not my favourite thing. | 0:16:28 | 0:16:31 | |
It's all about new challenges, New Zealand. | 0:16:31 | 0:16:34 | |
Can we go on some more now? | 0:16:34 | 0:16:37 | |
Perhaps I could just go for a swim now! | 0:16:37 | 0:16:40 | |
Sharon had proved her mettle, | 0:16:40 | 0:16:42 | |
so it was time for something a little more sedate. | 0:16:42 | 0:16:45 | |
But the boys were still looking for action, | 0:16:45 | 0:16:47 | |
and they found it. | 0:16:47 | 0:16:49 | |
Did you like that? | 0:16:58 | 0:16:59 | |
Sharon was definitely keen on a less white-knuckled activity, | 0:17:01 | 0:17:05 | |
but what had the boys enjoyed the most? | 0:17:05 | 0:17:07 | |
-Watching my mum scream. -Yeah, pushing her down the slides! | 0:17:07 | 0:17:11 | |
Coming away with them is great, | 0:17:11 | 0:17:13 | |
cos I think it helps us to get closer because we do things together and they have fun. | 0:17:13 | 0:17:17 | |
I like to see them giggling and laughing and making them happy, | 0:17:18 | 0:17:22 | |
which is why I put myself through these torturous water slides. | 0:17:22 | 0:17:27 | |
The lifestyle here is just completely different to England. | 0:17:27 | 0:17:31 | |
People's way of looking at life is different. | 0:17:31 | 0:17:34 | |
Everybody's... | 0:17:35 | 0:17:38 | |
enjoying just living. | 0:17:38 | 0:17:39 | |
And I want to have that as well. | 0:17:41 | 0:17:43 | |
But Oliver knew there was more to this trip than just fun for his mum. | 0:17:43 | 0:17:48 | |
She needs a new start, she needs a new beginning, | 0:17:48 | 0:17:51 | |
she needs a new life. She wants... | 0:17:51 | 0:17:53 | |
She wants, you know, a new family life. | 0:17:53 | 0:17:56 | |
I do feel I need to move on emotionally, yeah. | 0:17:56 | 0:18:01 | |
And maybe that is one of the reasons that maybe it would be great for me, | 0:18:01 | 0:18:05 | |
because when I'm somewhere like this, | 0:18:05 | 0:18:07 | |
I feel I actually don't think about the past. | 0:18:07 | 0:18:10 | |
I just... I'm experiencing everything for the first time, | 0:18:10 | 0:18:13 | |
and it makes you feel really alive. | 0:18:13 | 0:18:17 | |
Sharon was facing a tough decision | 0:18:17 | 0:18:20 | |
but the time spent with her boys in New Zealand had filled her with optimism, | 0:18:20 | 0:18:23 | |
so how would they vote on lifestyle? | 0:18:23 | 0:18:26 | |
There's lots of fresh air, people are outdoors and smiling. | 0:18:27 | 0:18:31 | |
I think we're all agreed... | 0:18:31 | 0:18:33 | |
New Zealand. | 0:18:34 | 0:18:35 | |
-New Zealand. -New Zealand. | 0:18:35 | 0:18:37 | |
Back in Yorkshire, Sharon worked three days a week in a hospice. | 0:18:44 | 0:18:48 | |
She earned £13,000 as a palliative-care social worker, | 0:18:48 | 0:18:52 | |
providing patients and their families with emotional and practical support. | 0:18:52 | 0:18:57 | |
I'm just ringing to see how things are going. | 0:18:57 | 0:18:59 | |
'In palliative care, I think I've found my niche.' | 0:18:59 | 0:19:03 | |
I love it. I love the job. I love... | 0:19:03 | 0:19:05 | |
I think I do it well and that gives me a lot of satisfaction. | 0:19:05 | 0:19:09 | |
If I couldn't find a similar job, | 0:19:09 | 0:19:11 | |
that would probably be a reason not to go, for me, | 0:19:11 | 0:19:14 | |
because if I was doing a different job, I think I'd be going backwards, | 0:19:14 | 0:19:18 | |
whereas right now, I think I'm in the right place, in terms of career. | 0:19:18 | 0:19:22 | |
For Sharon to start a new life, she needed a good job, | 0:19:23 | 0:19:26 | |
but at the time, | 0:19:26 | 0:19:27 | |
there were fewer than 250 palliative social workers in the UK | 0:19:27 | 0:19:32 | |
and potentially fewer still in New Zealand. | 0:19:32 | 0:19:34 | |
So she visited the Mercy Hospice in Auckland. | 0:19:38 | 0:19:41 | |
to meet the head of the Family Support Team, Tim Hurley, | 0:19:41 | 0:19:44 | |
and social worker Marie. | 0:19:44 | 0:19:45 | |
All her hopes rested on what she was about to find out. | 0:19:45 | 0:19:49 | |
For me, I want to find out whether you think | 0:19:54 | 0:19:56 | |
-there might be possibilities about getting a post as a social worker here. -Yes. | 0:19:56 | 0:20:01 | |
Social work in hospices is quite new here in New Zealand. | 0:20:01 | 0:20:05 | |
It's really a growth area | 0:20:05 | 0:20:07 | |
and I am the second social worker in this hospice, | 0:20:07 | 0:20:10 | |
and hospices all through Auckland and the rest of the country are getting social workers. | 0:20:10 | 0:20:14 | |
-That sounds like really good news. -Yes, it is. | 0:20:14 | 0:20:17 | |
So, it is a real growth industry, | 0:20:17 | 0:20:19 | |
in terms of people seeing what contribution social workers can make. | 0:20:19 | 0:20:24 | |
It seemed there could be work on offer, but what about the salary? | 0:20:24 | 0:20:29 | |
How much would they earn? | 0:20:29 | 0:20:31 | |
It's around about 55,000, | 0:20:31 | 0:20:34 | |
er, and that perhaps might vary a little, | 0:20:34 | 0:20:38 | |
depending on the organisation. | 0:20:38 | 0:20:40 | |
The district health boards may pay a little more than what hospices pay. | 0:20:40 | 0:20:45 | |
-That's fair enough. -How does that compare to the UK? | 0:20:45 | 0:20:47 | |
-It sounds very similar. -OK. -Yeah. | 0:20:47 | 0:20:50 | |
It was great news. Sharon was beginning to feel assured | 0:20:50 | 0:20:54 | |
about her chances of finding work in New Zealand. | 0:20:54 | 0:20:58 | |
And she was relieved to find plenty of similarities | 0:20:58 | 0:21:01 | |
between work here and her job at home. | 0:21:01 | 0:21:04 | |
Often, people just wander in here and just have a bit of quiet time. | 0:21:04 | 0:21:08 | |
We've had a couple of weddings here. | 0:21:08 | 0:21:10 | |
-Yeah, we've had them in our chapel. -Yes, yeah. Come on... | 0:21:10 | 0:21:13 | |
'Meeting Sharon, I think she's got a lovely warm personality.' | 0:21:13 | 0:21:16 | |
I think she would fit in well to the kind of people who work here. | 0:21:16 | 0:21:20 | |
'And I think that she could provide some experience and some leadership' | 0:21:20 | 0:21:24 | |
in areas we've thought perhaps we'd like to do, but are not yet doing. | 0:21:24 | 0:21:27 | |
So, I think she'd be a great asset | 0:21:27 | 0:21:29 | |
to any hospice environment where she works, yeah. | 0:21:29 | 0:21:32 | |
It was really interesting to talk to Tim and Marie, | 0:21:32 | 0:21:36 | |
and to find out that they do so many things the same way we do in England, | 0:21:36 | 0:21:40 | |
and that, you know, their approach to their work is the same, | 0:21:40 | 0:21:43 | |
their holistic philosophy's the same, | 0:21:43 | 0:21:45 | |
and what's really encouraging is that they're looking for social workers in the Auckland area. | 0:21:45 | 0:21:51 | |
But was it enough to give up the job she loved back home? | 0:21:51 | 0:21:54 | |
This is a really difficult one for me because I work with a lovely bunch of people in the UK. | 0:21:54 | 0:21:59 | |
Er, I love them to bits and it would be a wrench to leave them, | 0:21:59 | 0:22:03 | |
but today I felt energised and excited, so I'm going to vote for... | 0:22:03 | 0:22:08 | |
..New Zealand. | 0:22:10 | 0:22:12 | |
Back in the UK, the Coles lived in a three-bedroom property | 0:22:17 | 0:22:21 | |
which Sharon had bought with her husband. | 0:22:21 | 0:22:23 | |
She owned their home outright and hoped it would be worth £185,000. | 0:22:23 | 0:22:29 | |
We sent in two estate agents to give her their opinions. | 0:22:29 | 0:22:33 | |
'Right.' | 0:22:33 | 0:22:34 | |
The size of the kitchen, obviously, doesn't really fit with modern living. | 0:22:34 | 0:22:39 | |
Some people would choose to knock through, now, | 0:22:39 | 0:22:41 | |
and make that really nice - one big dining kitchen. | 0:22:41 | 0:22:45 | |
So, let's see what's out here. | 0:22:45 | 0:22:47 | |
Oh, gosh, the porch is a mess. | 0:22:47 | 0:22:49 | |
We have what was originally a sun room. | 0:22:49 | 0:22:52 | |
However, it is being used at the moment as a general storage space. | 0:22:52 | 0:22:57 | |
So, I would have to say that, | 0:22:57 | 0:22:58 | |
in order to really sell this as a feature, | 0:22:58 | 0:23:01 | |
it would need to be emptied. | 0:23:01 | 0:23:03 | |
Ah, this is a small room. | 0:23:06 | 0:23:08 | |
This will put off some potential buyers. Yeah, bit of a stumbling block here, really. | 0:23:08 | 0:23:12 | |
It could be an office, though. | 0:23:12 | 0:23:13 | |
Mm, a complete mismatch. | 0:23:15 | 0:23:17 | |
A boy's room with a girl's wallpaper. | 0:23:17 | 0:23:20 | |
-What? -In fact, I'm sure I remember this. | 0:23:20 | 0:23:22 | |
This is a better room - nice size. | 0:23:22 | 0:23:25 | |
Nice views out of the window. I think that certainly is a nice feature. | 0:23:25 | 0:23:30 | |
It's nice to see that they have re-done the bathroom. | 0:23:32 | 0:23:36 | |
And it's got all the right features. Bath, good-sized shower cubicle with a rain head, fully tiled. | 0:23:36 | 0:23:43 | |
Yes, very nice. This is a good selling feature. | 0:23:43 | 0:23:46 | |
I'm glad she likes the bathroom - I chose that. | 0:23:46 | 0:23:47 | |
You've got a house here which is really going to appeal to families. | 0:23:47 | 0:23:51 | |
So, families will look at it, decide, perhaps, to change it rather. | 0:23:51 | 0:23:54 | |
The property does require some decorative improvement in places, | 0:23:54 | 0:23:58 | |
and also, the third bedroom is very, very small. | 0:23:58 | 0:24:01 | |
I think that might put off some buyers. | 0:24:01 | 0:24:03 | |
If the vendor wants a quick sale, I'd say you're probably more likely | 0:24:03 | 0:24:08 | |
to have to put it on at 160, 165, and probably have to come down | 0:24:08 | 0:24:12 | |
from that too, because people are expecting you to allow for the work that needs doing to modernise it. | 0:24:12 | 0:24:19 | |
For a quick sale, I would suggest £160,000. | 0:24:19 | 0:24:22 | |
At that level, I do feel there will be a good level of interest. | 0:24:22 | 0:24:26 | |
It's dropped a lot then. | 0:24:26 | 0:24:28 | |
I thought it was worth more than that. | 0:24:28 | 0:24:30 | |
I expected that it would probably be about 185 at least. | 0:24:30 | 0:24:34 | |
But I don't understand what needs modernising. | 0:24:34 | 0:24:37 | |
I've done the bathroom, the kitchen, I've put in a fireplace in the living room, | 0:24:37 | 0:24:40 | |
I've done loads to it, really. | 0:24:40 | 0:24:43 | |
So I'm really surprised that she thinks it needs work. | 0:24:43 | 0:24:47 | |
It was disappointing news, but there was still a chance to stay mortgage free. | 0:24:47 | 0:24:51 | |
It all depended on whether everyone could afford to live off her salary. | 0:24:51 | 0:24:55 | |
We prepared some figures on basic living costs in the UK | 0:24:55 | 0:24:59 | |
and New Zealand. | 0:24:59 | 0:25:00 | |
Oh, my goodness! | 0:25:00 | 0:25:03 | |
At first glance, this is really worrying - | 0:25:03 | 0:25:05 | |
to see that my food bill would double. | 0:25:05 | 0:25:08 | |
But how did other expenses weigh up? | 0:25:08 | 0:25:11 | |
New Zealand. This is good news - gas and electric is about half the price it is in England, which is great. | 0:25:11 | 0:25:17 | |
And council tax is less. | 0:25:17 | 0:25:20 | |
Petrol is a lot cheaper. | 0:25:20 | 0:25:22 | |
So, maybe, actually, it might balance out. | 0:25:22 | 0:25:24 | |
Sharon could have earned a higher salary, but was it enough to make the move affordable? | 0:25:24 | 0:25:30 | |
It's going to cost me an extra £54 a month. | 0:25:30 | 0:25:33 | |
Maybe I could work a couple of extra hours a month to make that difference up. | 0:25:33 | 0:25:38 | |
£54 a month isn't too big a difference, really. | 0:25:38 | 0:25:41 | |
So, how would Sharon vote on the cost of living? | 0:25:41 | 0:25:45 | |
Taking into account that food is far more expensive here, | 0:25:45 | 0:25:50 | |
which is a big shock, but gas and electric is cheaper, | 0:25:50 | 0:25:54 | |
I will vote for... | 0:25:54 | 0:25:57 | |
New Zealand. | 0:25:57 | 0:25:59 | |
The thought of taking the boys away from their friends | 0:26:04 | 0:26:07 | |
and family continued to worry Sharon, so, | 0:26:07 | 0:26:10 | |
watching messages from loved ones back home is not going to be easy. | 0:26:10 | 0:26:14 | |
ALL: Hi, Sharon! | 0:26:14 | 0:26:15 | |
Hello, Sharon. | 0:26:15 | 0:26:17 | |
ALL: Hi, Alex! | 0:26:17 | 0:26:19 | |
She's very kind, she's very caring. | 0:26:19 | 0:26:22 | |
She's a fabulous mother, and she's a great friend. | 0:26:22 | 0:26:25 | |
I can't speak more highly of her because she's coped with everything. | 0:26:25 | 0:26:31 | |
She's constantly cheerful and lifts the mood if you're feeling down. | 0:26:32 | 0:26:38 | |
That's really important in our line of work. | 0:26:38 | 0:26:40 | |
Alex is probably the craziest guy I've ever met. And the awesomest. | 0:26:40 | 0:26:44 | |
He's really nice, and he's kind, and he's funny. | 0:26:44 | 0:26:48 | |
A great friend. | 0:26:48 | 0:26:50 | |
It will be very hard to adjust, it'll be hard to not have her here. | 0:26:50 | 0:26:54 | |
And the fact that she's going to be so far away is going to be odd. | 0:26:54 | 0:26:58 | |
She's a really, really good pal. I'll miss her desperately. | 0:26:58 | 0:27:02 | |
I think she's had things in her life and I think she deserves | 0:27:02 | 0:27:06 | |
this chance for her and her boys, if it's the right thing for her. | 0:27:06 | 0:27:10 | |
We're all missing you here. | 0:27:10 | 0:27:12 | |
-It's not the same without you. -Please come back soon. | 0:27:12 | 0:27:15 | |
Just know that I love you and I'm going to miss you. Bye, Sharon. | 0:27:15 | 0:27:20 | |
Whatever you want to do, darling, we'll back you up. | 0:27:20 | 0:27:25 | |
You don't have to feel you're on your own if you get stuck or anything. We're always here. | 0:27:25 | 0:27:29 | |
Er, but I can't imagine that you ever would need any help because | 0:27:29 | 0:27:33 | |
you're so competent, and you just get on with life, | 0:27:33 | 0:27:36 | |
and everything will work out fine for you. | 0:27:36 | 0:27:41 | |
I'll miss you if you do. Bye. | 0:27:41 | 0:27:45 | |
Oh, dear. | 0:27:47 | 0:27:49 | |
I just realised how special the people in my life are... | 0:27:55 | 0:27:59 | |
..and how much they mean to me. | 0:28:00 | 0:28:03 | |
And it's, it's... | 0:28:03 | 0:28:05 | |
wonderful to hear that they think the same about me. | 0:28:05 | 0:28:08 | |
I'm thinking that... | 0:28:08 | 0:28:10 | |
I want to be in two places! | 0:28:10 | 0:28:14 | |
And Sharon wasn't the only one affected by the messages. | 0:28:14 | 0:28:17 | |
Alex's fears had been rekindled after seeing his friends. | 0:28:17 | 0:28:21 | |
Like, watching that, I don't really want to go as much. | 0:28:21 | 0:28:25 | |
Like, I'd rather just stay in England because of all my friends and everything. | 0:28:25 | 0:28:30 | |
But yet, this week, you've really loved it. | 0:28:30 | 0:28:33 | |
I know, but I don't really want to leave England. | 0:28:33 | 0:28:37 | |
Yeah. | 0:28:40 | 0:28:41 | |
What about you, Oliver? | 0:28:41 | 0:28:44 | |
I'd be fine coming here. | 0:28:44 | 0:28:45 | |
I think you can see a lot of positives for you, can't you? | 0:28:45 | 0:28:50 | |
Yeah. Missing Dad probably wouldn't bother me too much. | 0:28:50 | 0:28:54 | |
Cos he's left me at too early an age for me to really care, so... | 0:28:54 | 0:28:59 | |
But he still cares about you. | 0:29:01 | 0:29:03 | |
Yeah. | 0:29:03 | 0:29:05 | |
Leaving loved ones can often trigger strong reactions, | 0:29:09 | 0:29:13 | |
and although Oliver's words didn't come as a surprise to Sharon, they were no less painful. | 0:29:13 | 0:29:18 | |
He feels like his dad's not there for him, so... | 0:29:25 | 0:29:29 | |
he's not really... He wants to give this strong, tough exterior | 0:29:29 | 0:29:36 | |
that says he doesn't care, but I know deep down he does. | 0:29:36 | 0:29:40 | |
And he's looking... He's looking for what he's lost. | 0:29:40 | 0:29:45 | |
That's why he thinks if he comes here and makes some good friends, | 0:29:45 | 0:29:48 | |
maybe he'll find what he's missing from his dad. | 0:29:48 | 0:29:50 | |
Sharon was left wondering what she needed to do to move on. | 0:29:50 | 0:29:56 | |
It's almost like I'm stuck in the past. | 0:29:56 | 0:29:59 | |
My house is the same house that I've always lived in throughout my married life, | 0:29:59 | 0:30:04 | |
so it's full of memories, sad memories, really, more than happy ones. | 0:30:04 | 0:30:08 | |
And it's taken me a long time to come to terms with what happened. | 0:30:08 | 0:30:13 | |
He was the love of my life and for a long time, I hoped he would come back. | 0:30:13 | 0:30:18 | |
As time has gone on, I've realised that's not going to happen. | 0:30:18 | 0:30:21 | |
I feel braver and stronger. | 0:30:21 | 0:30:24 | |
I've changed in the last few years and now, | 0:30:24 | 0:30:27 | |
I think I've reached a stage where I have to look to the future | 0:30:27 | 0:30:31 | |
and think, maybe this is what's right for all of us now. | 0:30:31 | 0:30:34 | |
For Alex, there was a lot more tying him to home. | 0:30:34 | 0:30:38 | |
Sharon faced a difficult task in making a decision that was right for everyone. | 0:30:38 | 0:30:43 | |
It would be really hard if one wants to go and one wants to stay. | 0:30:43 | 0:30:47 | |
And I don't think they're quite ready to be independent. That will be a really tough one. | 0:30:47 | 0:30:53 | |
It was the end of their trip to New Zealand. | 0:30:58 | 0:31:00 | |
It had been a week of new experiences, and a rare chance | 0:31:00 | 0:31:04 | |
to be together as a family. | 0:31:04 | 0:31:06 | |
It was time for the final vote. | 0:31:11 | 0:31:14 | |
Would Oliver and Alex give the answer Sharon was hoping for? | 0:31:14 | 0:31:18 | |
New Zealand. | 0:31:19 | 0:31:22 | |
New Zealand. | 0:31:22 | 0:31:23 | |
England. | 0:31:27 | 0:31:28 | |
I know two of us have voted for New Zealand and Alexander, you voted for the UK, | 0:31:33 | 0:31:38 | |
but we're going to go home and talk about it some more, | 0:31:38 | 0:31:41 | |
look at what courses are here for Alexander when he goes to university | 0:31:41 | 0:31:45 | |
and I think when that time comes, it will be right for us all. | 0:31:45 | 0:31:48 | |
After their week in New Zealand, Alex's vote for home left a big question mark | 0:31:56 | 0:32:01 | |
hanging over the Coles' future plans. | 0:32:01 | 0:32:03 | |
So, three years later, where they now? | 0:32:03 | 0:32:07 | |
It's May 2012, and the Cole family are living in... | 0:32:09 | 0:32:14 | |
..the UK. | 0:32:16 | 0:32:17 | |
Sharon and Alex have stayed in their family home in Yorkshire, | 0:32:20 | 0:32:24 | |
and Oliver is in his first year at Winchester University. | 0:32:24 | 0:32:27 | |
My trip to New Zealand was just absolutely incredible. | 0:32:29 | 0:32:32 | |
It was everything I hoped it would be. | 0:32:32 | 0:32:34 | |
As much as we all loved it there, and we really did, | 0:32:35 | 0:32:39 | |
it has to be something that everybody does 100% want. | 0:32:39 | 0:32:43 | |
In England I've got everything I want, and everything is set up, | 0:32:43 | 0:32:47 | |
so, like, moving to New Zealand would be pretty drastic. | 0:32:47 | 0:32:52 | |
I wouldn't want Alexander to have to give things up that matter to him | 0:32:52 | 0:32:55 | |
so that I could have something new and different for me. | 0:32:55 | 0:32:59 | |
Although the family decided not to emigrate, | 0:33:00 | 0:33:03 | |
they all valued their experiences in New Zealand, | 0:33:03 | 0:33:06 | |
and it opened their eyes to other possibilities. | 0:33:06 | 0:33:10 | |
It gave the boys a chance to see something different, | 0:33:10 | 0:33:13 | |
and to see that there is a bigger world out there, | 0:33:13 | 0:33:16 | |
and that there are, you know, there are possibilities of doing things with your life | 0:33:16 | 0:33:21 | |
and maybe experiencing something new and different. | 0:33:21 | 0:33:24 | |
'It just confirmed for me what I'd always suspected, really, | 0:33:25 | 0:33:29 | |
'that it would be possible to make a life out there, | 0:33:29 | 0:33:34 | |
and that it could actually become a reality, | 0:33:34 | 0:33:36 | |
because it's a dream, really, to think that you could | 0:33:36 | 0:33:40 | |
leave everything you've ever known and go so far away and actually | 0:33:40 | 0:33:44 | |
be able to earn a living, and that your skills would be in demand. | 0:33:44 | 0:33:48 | |
I was torn a little bit, because I think, for Oliver especially, | 0:33:50 | 0:33:54 | |
he really, I think he would probably find himself more at home in New Zealand | 0:33:54 | 0:33:58 | |
than he would here because of the kind of person that he is, | 0:33:58 | 0:34:02 | |
so in one way, wanting what is best for Oliver isn't necessarily what is best for Alex. | 0:34:02 | 0:34:07 | |
But I wouldn't ever do anything unless it was right for all of us. | 0:34:07 | 0:34:10 | |
Even though Sharon feels like she made the right choice for her and Alex, | 0:34:12 | 0:34:16 | |
at the end of their trial week, Oliver had voted yes to a move down under. | 0:34:16 | 0:34:21 | |
So, how does he feel about staying in the UK? | 0:34:21 | 0:34:23 | |
I love New Zealand. | 0:34:25 | 0:34:26 | |
It was a new kind of experience for me, cos when I went there | 0:34:28 | 0:34:32 | |
I found a lot more positives that I didn't originally consider with it. | 0:34:32 | 0:34:35 | |
You know, I love the weather there, it's great. It's got nice people. | 0:34:35 | 0:34:40 | |
It just seemed a lot more... Nicer in terms of living standards, I think. | 0:34:40 | 0:34:45 | |
That's the sort of first impressions I got. | 0:34:45 | 0:34:48 | |
But, with his mum's move off the cards for now, | 0:34:48 | 0:34:51 | |
he is happy to focus on his university studies, | 0:34:51 | 0:34:54 | |
and is making the most of a smaller change of scene. | 0:34:54 | 0:34:57 | |
Uni... Best thing about uni is being so many miles away from my parents. | 0:34:57 | 0:35:02 | |
That's great. | 0:35:02 | 0:35:03 | |
I've got to know quite a few people over, sort of, activities, I guess, around uni. | 0:35:03 | 0:35:10 | |
I do miss him. I miss Oliver a lot, cos, you know, you get used to being with them | 0:35:10 | 0:35:16 | |
all the time, and then suddenly they're gone. | 0:35:16 | 0:35:19 | |
He's been away a year, and I have been down to Winchester three or four times | 0:35:19 | 0:35:23 | |
because it's a lovely place, but when I go down I see Oliver | 0:35:23 | 0:35:26 | |
for about half an hour, because it's not cool to be seen with your mum. | 0:35:26 | 0:35:31 | |
It's nice to be more independent. | 0:35:31 | 0:35:32 | |
It's all about growing up, I guess, I suppose. | 0:35:32 | 0:35:36 | |
With her boys building their own lives, Sharon has been able | 0:35:36 | 0:35:39 | |
to focus on her job, and has taken on some new responsibilities. | 0:35:39 | 0:35:44 | |
At the moment I'm still working in the same job | 0:35:45 | 0:35:48 | |
and I'm enjoying it. | 0:35:48 | 0:35:49 | |
I'm part of this year's planning committee. | 0:35:49 | 0:35:52 | |
There's four of us planning the annual | 0:35:52 | 0:35:54 | |
conference for the Association Of Palliative Care Social Workers. | 0:35:54 | 0:35:59 | |
To have that time in the hospice in Auckland confirmed for me | 0:35:59 | 0:36:02 | |
that I could do this work in another setting. | 0:36:02 | 0:36:06 | |
There is going to be a need for people to work in end of life care, | 0:36:06 | 0:36:09 | |
and it's the kind of thing that I could find fulfilling wherever I was. | 0:36:09 | 0:36:13 | |
Alex is also busy, working towards his A-levels. | 0:36:16 | 0:36:19 | |
He is happy being home and spending time with his friends, | 0:36:19 | 0:36:22 | |
and now his brother is at uni, he's finally got that bigger bedroom. | 0:36:22 | 0:36:26 | |
Alex and I rub along together really well. | 0:36:27 | 0:36:30 | |
We are very close, and I suppose just living side-by-side, I mean, | 0:36:30 | 0:36:35 | |
it sounds mundane, but the everyday life with Alex is fun | 0:36:35 | 0:36:38 | |
because he's got a great sense of humour. | 0:36:38 | 0:36:41 | |
Since I got back from New Zealand, my life has completely gone | 0:36:41 | 0:36:46 | |
straight ahead with getting in a band and playing guitar. | 0:36:46 | 0:36:50 | |
His band rehearse in a garage nearby, and they are lovely boys, | 0:36:50 | 0:36:56 | |
and, you know, they have a lot of fun doing that, | 0:36:56 | 0:36:59 | |
and for Alex it's something he wants to make a career out of. | 0:36:59 | 0:37:03 | |
I'm hoping to go and do commercial music at uni, | 0:37:03 | 0:37:07 | |
after I've done my A-levels. | 0:37:07 | 0:37:10 | |
My band is called Hanging Onto Nothing, and we're a pop punk band. | 0:37:10 | 0:37:13 | |
I think if I'd taken the boys to New Zealand then, | 0:37:24 | 0:37:27 | |
Alexander would have been really unhappy. | 0:37:27 | 0:37:29 | |
What is great for Alex is that he's always had a really good | 0:37:29 | 0:37:33 | |
group of friends ever since he was in primary school, | 0:37:33 | 0:37:35 | |
and he's always been a happy-go-lucky character, | 0:37:35 | 0:37:38 | |
and everything in his life so far has gone well. | 0:37:38 | 0:37:41 | |
So, he can't see any reason why you would want to change anything. | 0:37:41 | 0:37:46 | |
Well, being in England is, um, | 0:37:46 | 0:37:48 | |
I can stay with all the contacts I already have, | 0:37:48 | 0:37:51 | |
and I can just go from there instead of going to New Zealand | 0:37:51 | 0:37:57 | |
and having to work from the bottom up again. | 0:37:57 | 0:37:59 | |
As well as leaving their friends, Alex and Oliver would also | 0:38:04 | 0:38:08 | |
have faced saying goodbye to their father had they emigrated. | 0:38:08 | 0:38:11 | |
One thing I've never undervalued is the boys' relationship with their dad. | 0:38:13 | 0:38:18 | |
And I've always tried to make sure that they felt that he was | 0:38:18 | 0:38:22 | |
a real presence in their life. | 0:38:22 | 0:38:23 | |
Seeing how they've been together in the last three years, | 0:38:23 | 0:38:26 | |
I think it would have been very sad if they'd have missed out on that. | 0:38:26 | 0:38:30 | |
Family connections are hugely important to Sharon, so much so | 0:38:30 | 0:38:34 | |
she felt it was worth sacrificing her dream life in New Zealand. | 0:38:34 | 0:38:39 | |
My relationship with my boys has always been mutual respect, | 0:38:39 | 0:38:42 | |
so, I think if I'd forced them to go, | 0:38:42 | 0:38:44 | |
either one of them against their will, I think that would have changed | 0:38:44 | 0:38:49 | |
the way we related to each other, and that wouldn't have been right. | 0:38:49 | 0:38:52 | |
I wasn't scared that I was going to be made to go to New Zealand, cos my mum wouldn't do that. | 0:38:52 | 0:38:58 | |
Keeping the family together may have meant giving up on a move down under, | 0:39:00 | 0:39:04 | |
but the trip reignited Sharon's love of travelling, | 0:39:04 | 0:39:08 | |
and since visiting New Zealand she has taken time to explore other countries, too. | 0:39:08 | 0:39:12 | |
Going away in the summer, I suppose it gives me that excitement that I got | 0:39:13 | 0:39:16 | |
when I was in Auckland, and I suppose it just confirms for me, really, | 0:39:16 | 0:39:21 | |
that one of the passions of my life is to meet new people | 0:39:21 | 0:39:25 | |
and experience new places, and that there is so much more to see. | 0:39:25 | 0:39:30 | |
I suppose one of the reasons I wanted to go to New Zealand was | 0:39:30 | 0:39:34 | |
because I have this sense of adventure, | 0:39:34 | 0:39:36 | |
and I thought that would be a really big adventure. | 0:39:36 | 0:39:39 | |
Especially if I could go with the boys, | 0:39:39 | 0:39:41 | |
and it would be a whole new life. | 0:39:41 | 0:39:46 | |
And I thought there were so many opportunities. | 0:39:46 | 0:39:49 | |
But these trips do help, because I can still | 0:39:49 | 0:39:52 | |
satisfy my yearning for new adventures and new experiences. | 0:39:52 | 0:39:58 | |
With both her boys happy, Sharon is enjoying the mix of home life and holidays away, | 0:39:59 | 0:40:04 | |
and it's helped her see everything she has in the UK in a new light. | 0:40:04 | 0:40:08 | |
I think I've become more content with my life. | 0:40:10 | 0:40:12 | |
I think I've realised that actually, although I'm quite eager to be | 0:40:12 | 0:40:18 | |
experiencing new things and not to stand still, | 0:40:18 | 0:40:21 | |
I've realised that actually it's OK to stand still for now | 0:40:21 | 0:40:23 | |
because the boys are getting to where they need to be, and for me, | 0:40:23 | 0:40:27 | |
seeing them achieve is a wonderful thing. | 0:40:27 | 0:40:31 | |
My life is very full. I like to go for walks on the moors. | 0:40:31 | 0:40:35 | |
I've been part of a book group since 1998, so I enjoy that. | 0:40:35 | 0:40:38 | |
We meet about every six weeks. | 0:40:38 | 0:40:40 | |
'And it's a social event, as well, cos we get together and talk about | 0:40:40 | 0:40:43 | |
'all sorts of things that are nothing to do with books, which is good.' | 0:40:43 | 0:40:47 | |
It's a whodunnit, but it's really, you just can't put it down. | 0:40:47 | 0:40:51 | |
I just didn't want it to end. | 0:40:51 | 0:40:53 | |
'I think my life here is good.' | 0:40:53 | 0:40:55 | |
I probably appreciate it more now having been to New Zealand. | 0:40:55 | 0:40:59 | |
But although Sharon feels a lot more settled with her life in England, | 0:41:04 | 0:41:08 | |
New Zealand has left a lasting impression on her. | 0:41:08 | 0:41:11 | |
I still have a yearning | 0:41:13 | 0:41:14 | |
to experience something new and different involving travel, | 0:41:14 | 0:41:18 | |
and, if possible, to be able to work in New Zealand. | 0:41:18 | 0:41:23 | |
I don't think I would emigrate, because Alexander is still absolutely convinced that his home | 0:41:23 | 0:41:27 | |
is in the UK and this is where he wants to be, | 0:41:27 | 0:41:30 | |
and I can't imagine living in New Zealand permanently if he was here. | 0:41:30 | 0:41:35 | |
Oliver I think would go, because he loved it. | 0:41:35 | 0:41:38 | |
It will be definitely a consideration for me, cos I really liked it there, so... | 0:41:38 | 0:41:43 | |
My brother really would like New Zealand, | 0:41:43 | 0:41:45 | |
cos he's all into sport and open areas. | 0:41:45 | 0:41:49 | |
He's more of a country person whereas I'm more of... | 0:41:49 | 0:41:53 | |
I like the city and parties and stuff like that. | 0:41:53 | 0:41:56 | |
We are a team, so I have to sort of consider my future in terms of what there's will be, as well. | 0:41:56 | 0:42:04 | |
But as they get older and more independent | 0:42:04 | 0:42:06 | |
and more established in their own lives, then that frees me, really. | 0:42:06 | 0:42:10 | |
'I think I am going to stay in England for my life, | 0:42:11 | 0:42:13 | |
'cos I'm happy with the UK.' | 0:42:13 | 0:42:15 | |
I've just got my life set, and I know what I'm going to do, | 0:42:17 | 0:42:21 | |
and I'd have to start all fresh again. | 0:42:21 | 0:42:25 | |
It's a bit... It's a really drastic move. | 0:42:25 | 0:42:28 | |
What was really special was that we had that time together, | 0:42:29 | 0:42:33 | |
and that it's created memories that we will carry with us forever. | 0:42:33 | 0:42:37 | |
It's a question of letting the boys do what they need to do | 0:42:38 | 0:42:41 | |
and be there for them right now, | 0:42:41 | 0:42:43 | |
but maybe in the future then think, "Well, what shall I do now?" | 0:42:43 | 0:42:47 | |
And actually it's quite exciting thinking about all the options. | 0:42:47 | 0:42:51 | |
With the family happy in the UK, | 0:42:53 | 0:42:55 | |
it looks like the decision to stay was the right one for the Coles. | 0:42:55 | 0:42:59 | |
But is the dream of emigrating well and truly over for everyone? | 0:42:59 | 0:43:02 | |
Time will tell. | 0:43:02 | 0:43:04 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:43:09 | 0:43:13 |