Cole Wanted Down Under Revisited

Starting a new life far from home

can seem like a very exciting prospect

but can the reality match up to your hopes

and what if your family doesn't share your dream?

In 2009, Sharon Cole faced exactly that dilemma.

Today, we'll find out where the answer led.

Sharon Cole had separated from her husband

and wanted a new life for herself and her boys.

She was looking for a fresh start Down Under.

Everybody's enjoying just living, and I want to have that as well.

But older son Oliver and his brother Alex weren't so sure.

She wants to move on, she wants to drag us with her.

'It's got to be our decision as well if she's got to move.'

So three years on, have they come any closer to making that decision?

It's a dream, really, to think

that you could leave everything you've ever known

and go so far away and actually be able to earn a living,

so that you could live there.

In 2009, the Cole family

spent a week experiencing everyday life in New Zealand.

At the end of it, they'd have to decide

if they wanted to make the move Down Under for good.

Three years on, we're catching up with them

to find out what's happened next.

Sharon Cole lived with her two sons,

17-year-old Oliver and 14-year-old Alex, in Shipley, Yorkshire.

But Sharon was considering leaving it all behind.

She'd been separated from Richard,

her husband and father of her sons, for six years.

and she hoped New Zealand could provide the new life she dreamed of.

This house, in many ways, has a lot of sad memories for me

because of Richard leaving and everything.

And it's about a house that we shared, and I think in one way,

it would be good for me to do something completely different.

Sharon worked in a hospice as a palliative care social worker,

providing support to terminally ill patients and their families.

Moving Down Under would have been a huge upheaval,

and she hoped that sticking to a job she loved

would provide the stability she needed.

I want to stay in palliative care,

I want to do this probably until I retire.

It's rewarding because of the very nature of the work.

If I couldn't find a similar job, that would probably be a reason not to go.

Fitness-mad Oliver can see the benefits of a more outdoor life in New Zealand.

It's got less people, and it's less crowded.

It's just a better area, I think.

It's easier to get jobs, I think, there because there's more

space for that kind of thing.

But Sharon was the real driving force behind moving

and the boys could see just how important it was to her.

I don't think it's just about moving house, it's just everything

in our whole life has been in the same place.

She just wants to have a new adventure somewhere else.

She just needs to start again and needs a new, happy lifestyle.

She continually wants a break from memories of this life.

When we're on holiday, she forgets everything but when she comes back

to it, it's like, "Oh, I remember all this," and horrible bad memories creep up on her.

I want her to have a new beginning, even if I'm not included in it.

I want her to be happy.

Shipley had always been the boys' home

and Sharon was concerned about taking them away

from their father and friends.

Would it be the right choice?

My main concern is the boys,

because they're the most important people in my life and their happiness matters to me more than anything.

And I'm frightened that I would do this for me and perhaps,

you know, they would get there and think, "What's happened?

"There's nobody around that we know, nothing is familiar any more,

"Dad's a long way away,"

and I'm frightened that I might be wrecking their lives, I suppose,

that maybe I'll destabilise them in some way,

because their security is really important.

Sharon was facing a huge decision.

The Coles began their trial week in New Zealand.

The journey from Shipley to Auckland

had crossed three continents and more than 12,000 miles,

further than any of them had ever been before

but even after a 30-hour flight, Sharon was still raring to go.

I'm looking forward to seeing how people work here

and how it compares to what we do at home.

I'm excited to see, just everything.

Although I'm not sure the boys agreed.

We're tired, hungry.

Looking forward to sleeping.

For the final leg of their journey,

the Coles headed off to their accommodation for the week.

They were staying in the pretty Bush area of Titirangi in west Auckland.

The house was an open-plan three-bedroom home

with space for the family to roam around in.

Oh, my goodness, just look at that view, Oliver.

I just can't believe it's got this in the back garden.

This is amazing.

Hopefully the inside would be just as impressive.

Oh, I love this room.

Just look at the view.

I mean, this is just amazing. Wherever you look, you see the sea.

I would just be in heaven living here. I love it.

Let's see some more!

I call this room. This room has a guitar in it.

Have you seen this room? All the rooms are so light!

As initial reactions go, Sharon's were definitely promising,

so how was she feeling about her first taste of New Zealand life?

When you're actually here, it all seems possible and you think,

"Fantastic, I just want to be here."

But after the initial excitement of arriving,

how did the boys really feel?

I prefer being in Britain just based on what I've seen so far, really.

It's more in my comfort zone.

I know where everything is, it's just easier.

I can imagine coming here on holiday,

and spending a few days here. I couldn't imagine living here yet.

It looked like Sharon would have her work cut out

convince them to move here for good.

Back in the UK, the Coles lived in a three-bed semi-detached house in Shipley.

It was a tight squeeze, and Alex had drawn the short straw

with the tiny third bedroom, but it was in a great location

on the Yorkshire Moors, which Sharon loved.

However, she was ready for a change of scenery.

In New Zealand, they were hoping to find

a three-bedroomed house with character, set in the countryside

but near to amenities.

Sharon wanted to be mortgage-free,

and had a budget of £185,000 in mind

but was this realistic?

Property one was a three-bedroomed detached house in Titirangi village.

At the time, it was on the market

for around £170,000,

so comfortably within budget.

Right, let's take a look at the property.

But would it impress?

Sharon wanted somewhere with character.

Would she like the retro look?

Oh, it's got the old '50s-style furniture, as well.

It has. It's really in keeping with the era of the property.

Is that an open fire?

It's a wood burner which is very typical, again, of Kiwi properties.

-That would be nice if it was cleaned up.

-You've also got polished timber floors as well.

I like the floors and I like the fireplace.

Obviously, the decor isn't to my taste at all.

But I can see that it suits the house.

Floorboards and a fireplace alone weren't going to clinch it.

So what did Sharon think of the bedrooms?

So, this is one of the large double bedrooms.

It's just out of date, really, isn't it?

There's not much room for a wardrobe in here, if you had a double bed.

But what about Alex's bedroom?

Did it have the extra space he was looking for?

You could get a single bed, possibly a double bed in here.

I don't think you could get a double in...

If you had a double bed in here, you would have to take that out.

-Yes, you would.

-Yes.

Still, it's bigger than Alexander's current room.

Alex wasn't convinced.

Would the garden be able to make up for the tiny bedroom?

Oh, this is nice, I like the open aspect.

Property one wasn't quite right.

It certainly had plenty of character,

but not to anyone's taste.

So what was the final verdict?

I think the inside is quirky and interesting,

even though it is not furnished in my style.

Could you see yourself living here?

-Not really.

-I would still have a small room if we moved here.

-Yes.

And everything is a bit...

just small.

It was on to property two, in the hope that this had

the all-important big third bedroom for Alex.

The house was in Laingholm,

a pretty coastal area surrounded by lush green hills.

The property had three bedrooms

and a decent garden.

Back in 2009, it was slightly over budget

at £190,000.

This is bigger.

It feels more spacious. Do they have a dishwasher?

No, there's no dishwashers.

Well, you've got two. Over there!

I don't think the boys had quite adjusted to Kiwi humour

but Sharon soon noticed that the house was low-lying

and set in a valley with a stream running through it

so she had some important questions for estate agent Edwina.

Is there any flooding in this area?

We've actually got flooding down the bottom of Sandy's Parade.

There does appear to be quite a bit of flooding.

So, would this house be at risk?

I'd say, with the stream down here, you'd need to be mindful of that.

That wasn't the answer Sharon was looking for.

Would the rest of the property be able to win them over?

-So, this is one of the bedrooms?

-It is, this is the main room.

And it has its own en-suite.

A good start on the bedrooms so far. But would they all be this big?

Let's have a look in here.

-This is used as a study now?

-It is.

-How many bedrooms does the property have?

-It's three bedrooms.

-Does this include this one?

-It does.

-It is slightly on the tinier side.

-Yeah.

It was another cupboard for poor Alex

so would his brother get the bigger room again?

-Oh, this is a better size.

-It certainly is.

It's a pity we can't get three bedrooms with two...

-the other two bedrooms this size.

-This size.

It was another lukewarm response

and this house simply wasn't quite right.

I really like the setting. I think it is gorgeous.

I like the size of the house.

Even though the third bedroom is small,

it has a much more spacious feel.

But if there was any kind of flooding risk, I wouldn't buy it.

With the risk of flooding and another small bedroom for Alex,

it just didn't have what the Coles were looking for

and it was all up to the final house to win them over to Kiwi properties.

House number three was on higher land

and nearer to the main village of Titirangi.

It was a three-bedroom property, but to make the most of the views,

the bedrooms were downstairs and the living space was above.

But at £217,000 back then,

it was well over budget.

Beautiful view. This is about as noisy as Laingholm ever gets.

This must be a nice spot to sit.

-Yeah, that's a gin and tonic corner.

-Yeah.

Sharon was sold on the views,

but the deciding factor would be the size of that third bedroom.

Would it be big enough for a bed and Alex?

Which wall is six feet long?

So, a single bed would go down this way.

-It would fit there, would it?

-I'd be happy with that room.

So a slightly bigger room,

but would the other bedrooms downstairs be up to standard?

How would this work for you?

It's OK, but I'd prefer my windows lower down.

-Would you?

-Yeah.

-I think, cos I like...

-For the light, or...?

No, just because if you're actually sitting on the bed,

-you can see above you but you can't see at eye level.

-Yes.

-It's OK as a second bedroom.

-Hmm.

Would the master bedroom look more promising to Sharon?

Oh, now, this is better.

-Now, this is good.

-Yeah.

You see, I can see outside now, which is what I was meaning.

-That's lovely.

-So, a good-sized master, loads of wardrobe space.

Sharon liked the views, but wasn't completely won over.

Despite the small bedroom,

surprisingly, it was Alex who had taken a real shine to this house.

-You were quite excited when we walked up the drive.

-Yeah.

He wanted to buy it before we'd even come inside. Didn't you?

You said, "It's awesome. Buy it, Mum, and I'll come to New Zealand now."

SHE CHUCKLES

Which is... Which is encouraging,

because if we find the house that's right for all of us, you know...

Just, like...so good.

It's just...brilliant.

That was great news for Sharon,

but it looked like she and Oliver might need more persuading.

So how did they vote on property?

I like the fact that all the houses in New Zealand are individual,

and that they're all in lovely settings.

I'm worried about the fact that they're not as solidly made as English houses.

Comparing them to British homes, British homes have smaller spaces.

In New Zealand, they're all different

and they all have fantastic views.

I'm going to pick...

New Zealand!

New Zealand.

I'm going to vote, right now, with...

..the UK.

It was a big turnaround.

All along, Sharon had been the driving force behind a move to New Zealand

and now she was the one voting for home.

There was a lot at stake in making the move to New Zealand.

Not only would Sharon be taking the boys away from their father,

she'd also be moving away from the life they all knew well.

So, after the disappointment of Kiwi property,

it was even more important that Sharon felt confident

New Zealand could offer them all a better lifestyle.

They'd come to an outdoor thermal spa on the Hibiscus Coast

to spend some family time together,

doing something they'd never been able to do back in Shipley.

BOYS LAUGH

No, you're not pushing me!

You're not pushing me.

We're here to give you our support.

I can do without a challenge like this.

It's called Bob's Mistake for a reason.

It means that you find out too late that you shouldn't have done it.

-Oh, my God.

-Go on.

Oh, my Lord.

HE CHUCKLES It's not funny!

It isn't funny, Oliver!

SHE SQUEALS

HE CHUCKLES

Great!

She's a good sport

but she's not exactly doing it of her own will.

Water slides are not my favourite thing.

It's all about new challenges, New Zealand.

Can we go on some more now?

Perhaps I could just go for a swim now!

Sharon had proved her mettle,

so it was time for something a little more sedate.

But the boys were still looking for action,

and they found it.

Did you like that?

Sharon was definitely keen on a less white-knuckled activity,

but what had the boys enjoyed the most?

-Watching my mum scream.

-Yeah, pushing her down the slides!

Coming away with them is great,

cos I think it helps us to get closer because we do things together and they have fun.

I like to see them giggling and laughing and making them happy,

which is why I put myself through these torturous water slides.

The lifestyle here is just completely different to England.

People's way of looking at life is different.

Everybody's...

enjoying just living.

And I want to have that as well.

But Oliver knew there was more to this trip than just fun for his mum.

She needs a new start, she needs a new beginning,

she needs a new life. She wants...

She wants, you know, a new family life.

I do feel I need to move on emotionally, yeah.

And maybe that is one of the reasons that maybe it would be great for me,

because when I'm somewhere like this,

I feel I actually don't think about the past.

I just... I'm experiencing everything for the first time,

and it makes you feel really alive.

Sharon was facing a tough decision

but the time spent with her boys in New Zealand had filled her with optimism,

so how would they vote on lifestyle?

There's lots of fresh air, people are outdoors and smiling.

I think we're all agreed...

New Zealand.

-New Zealand.

-New Zealand.

Back in Yorkshire, Sharon worked three days a week in a hospice.

She earned £13,000 as a palliative-care social worker,

providing patients and their families with emotional and practical support.

I'm just ringing to see how things are going.

'In palliative care, I think I've found my niche.'

I love it. I love the job. I love...

I think I do it well and that gives me a lot of satisfaction.

If I couldn't find a similar job,

that would probably be a reason not to go, for me,

because if I was doing a different job, I think I'd be going backwards,

whereas right now, I think I'm in the right place, in terms of career.

For Sharon to start a new life, she needed a good job,

but at the time,

there were fewer than 250 palliative social workers in the UK

and potentially fewer still in New Zealand.

So she visited the Mercy Hospice in Auckland.

to meet the head of the Family Support Team, Tim Hurley,

and social worker Marie.

All her hopes rested on what she was about to find out.

For me, I want to find out whether you think

-there might be possibilities about getting a post as a social worker here.

-Yes.

Social work in hospices is quite new here in New Zealand.

It's really a growth area

and I am the second social worker in this hospice,

and hospices all through Auckland and the rest of the country are getting social workers.

-That sounds like really good news.

-Yes, it is.

So, it is a real growth industry,

in terms of people seeing what contribution social workers can make.

It seemed there could be work on offer, but what about the salary?

How much would they earn?

It's around about 55,000,

er, and that perhaps might vary a little,

depending on the organisation.

The district health boards may pay a little more than what hospices pay.

-That's fair enough.

-How does that compare to the UK?

-It sounds very similar.

-OK.

-Yeah.

It was great news. Sharon was beginning to feel assured

about her chances of finding work in New Zealand.

And she was relieved to find plenty of similarities

between work here and her job at home.

Often, people just wander in here and just have a bit of quiet time.

We've had a couple of weddings here.

-Yeah, we've had them in our chapel.

-Yes, yeah. Come on...

'Meeting Sharon, I think she's got a lovely warm personality.'

I think she would fit in well to the kind of people who work here.

'And I think that she could provide some experience and some leadership'

in areas we've thought perhaps we'd like to do, but are not yet doing.

So, I think she'd be a great asset

to any hospice environment where she works, yeah.

It was really interesting to talk to Tim and Marie,

and to find out that they do so many things the same way we do in England,

and that, you know, their approach to their work is the same,

their holistic philosophy's the same,

and what's really encouraging is that they're looking for social workers in the Auckland area.

But was it enough to give up the job she loved back home?

This is a really difficult one for me because I work with a lovely bunch of people in the UK.

Er, I love them to bits and it would be a wrench to leave them,

but today I felt energised and excited, so I'm going to vote for...

..New Zealand.

Back in the UK, the Coles lived in a three-bedroom property

which Sharon had bought with her husband.

She owned their home outright and hoped it would be worth £185,000.

We sent in two estate agents to give her their opinions.

'Right.'

The size of the kitchen, obviously, doesn't really fit with modern living.

Some people would choose to knock through, now,

and make that really nice - one big dining kitchen.

So, let's see what's out here.

Oh, gosh, the porch is a mess.

We have what was originally a sun room.

However, it is being used at the moment as a general storage space.

So, I would have to say that,

in order to really sell this as a feature,

it would need to be emptied.

Ah, this is a small room.

This will put off some potential buyers. Yeah, bit of a stumbling block here, really.

It could be an office, though.

Mm, a complete mismatch.

A boy's room with a girl's wallpaper.

-What?

-In fact, I'm sure I remember this.

This is a better room - nice size.

Nice views out of the window. I think that certainly is a nice feature.

It's nice to see that they have re-done the bathroom.

And it's got all the right features. Bath, good-sized shower cubicle with a rain head, fully tiled.

Yes, very nice. This is a good selling feature.

I'm glad she likes the bathroom - I chose that.

You've got a house here which is really going to appeal to families.

So, families will look at it, decide, perhaps, to change it rather.

The property does require some decorative improvement in places,

and also, the third bedroom is very, very small.

I think that might put off some buyers.

If the vendor wants a quick sale, I'd say you're probably more likely

to have to put it on at 160, 165, and probably have to come down

from that too, because people are expecting you to allow for the work that needs doing to modernise it.

For a quick sale, I would suggest £160,000.

At that level, I do feel there will be a good level of interest.

It's dropped a lot then.

I thought it was worth more than that.

I expected that it would probably be about 185 at least.

But I don't understand what needs modernising.

I've done the bathroom, the kitchen, I've put in a fireplace in the living room,

I've done loads to it, really.

So I'm really surprised that she thinks it needs work.

It was disappointing news, but there was still a chance to stay mortgage free.

It all depended on whether everyone could afford to live off her salary.

We prepared some figures on basic living costs in the UK

and New Zealand.

Oh, my goodness!

At first glance, this is really worrying -

to see that my food bill would double.

But how did other expenses weigh up?

New Zealand. This is good news - gas and electric is about half the price it is in England, which is great.

And council tax is less.

Petrol is a lot cheaper.

So, maybe, actually, it might balance out.

Sharon could have earned a higher salary, but was it enough to make the move affordable?

It's going to cost me an extra £54 a month.

Maybe I could work a couple of extra hours a month to make that difference up.

£54 a month isn't too big a difference, really.

So, how would Sharon vote on the cost of living?

Taking into account that food is far more expensive here,

which is a big shock, but gas and electric is cheaper,

I will vote for...

New Zealand.

The thought of taking the boys away from their friends

and family continued to worry Sharon, so,

watching messages from loved ones back home is not going to be easy.

ALL: Hi, Sharon!

Hello, Sharon.

ALL: Hi, Alex!

She's very kind, she's very caring.

She's a fabulous mother, and she's a great friend.

I can't speak more highly of her because she's coped with everything.

She's constantly cheerful and lifts the mood if you're feeling down.

That's really important in our line of work.

Alex is probably the craziest guy I've ever met. And the awesomest.

He's really nice, and he's kind, and he's funny.

A great friend.

It will be very hard to adjust, it'll be hard to not have her here.

And the fact that she's going to be so far away is going to be odd.

She's a really, really good pal. I'll miss her desperately.

I think she's had things in her life and I think she deserves

this chance for her and her boys, if it's the right thing for her.

We're all missing you here.

-It's not the same without you.

-Please come back soon.

Just know that I love you and I'm going to miss you. Bye, Sharon.

Whatever you want to do, darling, we'll back you up.

You don't have to feel you're on your own if you get stuck or anything. We're always here.

Er, but I can't imagine that you ever would need any help because

you're so competent, and you just get on with life,

and everything will work out fine for you.

I'll miss you if you do. Bye.

Oh, dear.

I just realised how special the people in my life are...

..and how much they mean to me.

And it's, it's...

wonderful to hear that they think the same about me.

I'm thinking that...

I want to be in two places!

And Sharon wasn't the only one affected by the messages.

Alex's fears had been rekindled after seeing his friends.

Like, watching that, I don't really want to go as much.

Like, I'd rather just stay in England because of all my friends and everything.

But yet, this week, you've really loved it.

I know, but I don't really want to leave England.

Yeah.

What about you, Oliver?

I'd be fine coming here.

I think you can see a lot of positives for you, can't you?

Yeah. Missing Dad probably wouldn't bother me too much.

Cos he's left me at too early an age for me to really care, so...

But he still cares about you.

Yeah.

Leaving loved ones can often trigger strong reactions,

and although Oliver's words didn't come as a surprise to Sharon, they were no less painful.

He feels like his dad's not there for him, so...

he's not really... He wants to give this strong, tough exterior

that says he doesn't care, but I know deep down he does.

And he's looking... He's looking for what he's lost.

That's why he thinks if he comes here and makes some good friends,

maybe he'll find what he's missing from his dad.

Sharon was left wondering what she needed to do to move on.

It's almost like I'm stuck in the past.

My house is the same house that I've always lived in throughout my married life,

so it's full of memories, sad memories, really, more than happy ones.

And it's taken me a long time to come to terms with what happened.

He was the love of my life and for a long time, I hoped he would come back.

As time has gone on, I've realised that's not going to happen.

I feel braver and stronger.

I've changed in the last few years and now,

I think I've reached a stage where I have to look to the future

and think, maybe this is what's right for all of us now.

For Alex, there was a lot more tying him to home.

Sharon faced a difficult task in making a decision that was right for everyone.

It would be really hard if one wants to go and one wants to stay.

And I don't think they're quite ready to be independent. That will be a really tough one.

It was the end of their trip to New Zealand.

It had been a week of new experiences, and a rare chance

to be together as a family.

It was time for the final vote.

Would Oliver and Alex give the answer Sharon was hoping for?

New Zealand.

New Zealand.

England.

I know two of us have voted for New Zealand and Alexander, you voted for the UK,

but we're going to go home and talk about it some more,

look at what courses are here for Alexander when he goes to university

and I think when that time comes, it will be right for us all.

After their week in New Zealand, Alex's vote for home left a big question mark

hanging over the Coles' future plans.

So, three years later, where they now?

It's May 2012, and the Cole family are living in...

..the UK.

Sharon and Alex have stayed in their family home in Yorkshire,

and Oliver is in his first year at Winchester University.

My trip to New Zealand was just absolutely incredible.

It was everything I hoped it would be.

As much as we all loved it there, and we really did,

it has to be something that everybody does 100% want.

In England I've got everything I want, and everything is set up,

so, like, moving to New Zealand would be pretty drastic.

I wouldn't want Alexander to have to give things up that matter to him

so that I could have something new and different for me.

Although the family decided not to emigrate,

they all valued their experiences in New Zealand,

and it opened their eyes to other possibilities.

It gave the boys a chance to see something different,

and to see that there is a bigger world out there,

and that there are, you know, there are possibilities of doing things with your life

and maybe experiencing something new and different.

'It just confirmed for me what I'd always suspected, really,

'that it would be possible to make a life out there,

and that it could actually become a reality,

because it's a dream, really, to think that you could

leave everything you've ever known and go so far away and actually

be able to earn a living, and that your skills would be in demand.

I was torn a little bit, because I think, for Oliver especially,

he really, I think he would probably find himself more at home in New Zealand

than he would here because of the kind of person that he is,

so in one way, wanting what is best for Oliver isn't necessarily what is best for Alex.

But I wouldn't ever do anything unless it was right for all of us.

Even though Sharon feels like she made the right choice for her and Alex,

at the end of their trial week, Oliver had voted yes to a move down under.

So, how does he feel about staying in the UK?

I love New Zealand.

It was a new kind of experience for me, cos when I went there

I found a lot more positives that I didn't originally consider with it.

You know, I love the weather there, it's great. It's got nice people.

It just seemed a lot more... Nicer in terms of living standards, I think.

That's the sort of first impressions I got.

But, with his mum's move off the cards for now,

he is happy to focus on his university studies,

and is making the most of a smaller change of scene.

Uni... Best thing about uni is being so many miles away from my parents.

That's great.

I've got to know quite a few people over, sort of, activities, I guess, around uni.

I do miss him. I miss Oliver a lot, cos, you know, you get used to being with them

all the time, and then suddenly they're gone.

He's been away a year, and I have been down to Winchester three or four times

because it's a lovely place, but when I go down I see Oliver

for about half an hour, because it's not cool to be seen with your mum.

It's nice to be more independent.

It's all about growing up, I guess, I suppose.

With her boys building their own lives, Sharon has been able

to focus on her job, and has taken on some new responsibilities.

At the moment I'm still working in the same job

and I'm enjoying it.

I'm part of this year's planning committee.

There's four of us planning the annual

conference for the Association Of Palliative Care Social Workers.

To have that time in the hospice in Auckland confirmed for me

that I could do this work in another setting.

There is going to be a need for people to work in end of life care,

and it's the kind of thing that I could find fulfilling wherever I was.

Alex is also busy, working towards his A-levels.

He is happy being home and spending time with his friends,

and now his brother is at uni, he's finally got that bigger bedroom.

Alex and I rub along together really well.

We are very close, and I suppose just living side-by-side, I mean,

it sounds mundane, but the everyday life with Alex is fun

because he's got a great sense of humour.

Since I got back from New Zealand, my life has completely gone

straight ahead with getting in a band and playing guitar.

His band rehearse in a garage nearby, and they are lovely boys,

and, you know, they have a lot of fun doing that,

and for Alex it's something he wants to make a career out of.

I'm hoping to go and do commercial music at uni,

after I've done my A-levels.

My band is called Hanging Onto Nothing, and we're a pop punk band.

I think if I'd taken the boys to New Zealand then,

Alexander would have been really unhappy.

What is great for Alex is that he's always had a really good

group of friends ever since he was in primary school,

and he's always been a happy-go-lucky character,

and everything in his life so far has gone well.

So, he can't see any reason why you would want to change anything.

Well, being in England is, um,

I can stay with all the contacts I already have,

and I can just go from there instead of going to New Zealand

and having to work from the bottom up again.

As well as leaving their friends, Alex and Oliver would also

have faced saying goodbye to their father had they emigrated.

One thing I've never undervalued is the boys' relationship with their dad.

And I've always tried to make sure that they felt that he was

a real presence in their life.

Seeing how they've been together in the last three years,

I think it would have been very sad if they'd have missed out on that.

Family connections are hugely important to Sharon, so much so

she felt it was worth sacrificing her dream life in New Zealand.

My relationship with my boys has always been mutual respect,

so, I think if I'd forced them to go,

either one of them against their will, I think that would have changed

the way we related to each other, and that wouldn't have been right.

I wasn't scared that I was going to be made to go to New Zealand, cos my mum wouldn't do that.

Keeping the family together may have meant giving up on a move down under,

but the trip reignited Sharon's love of travelling,

and since visiting New Zealand she has taken time to explore other countries, too.

Going away in the summer, I suppose it gives me that excitement that I got

when I was in Auckland, and I suppose it just confirms for me, really,

that one of the passions of my life is to meet new people

and experience new places, and that there is so much more to see.

I suppose one of the reasons I wanted to go to New Zealand was

because I have this sense of adventure,

and I thought that would be a really big adventure.

Especially if I could go with the boys,

and it would be a whole new life.

And I thought there were so many opportunities.

But these trips do help, because I can still

satisfy my yearning for new adventures and new experiences.

With both her boys happy, Sharon is enjoying the mix of home life and holidays away,

and it's helped her see everything she has in the UK in a new light.

I think I've become more content with my life.

I think I've realised that actually, although I'm quite eager to be

experiencing new things and not to stand still,

I've realised that actually it's OK to stand still for now

because the boys are getting to where they need to be, and for me,

seeing them achieve is a wonderful thing.

My life is very full. I like to go for walks on the moors.

I've been part of a book group since 1998, so I enjoy that.

We meet about every six weeks.

'And it's a social event, as well, cos we get together and talk about

'all sorts of things that are nothing to do with books, which is good.'

It's a whodunnit, but it's really, you just can't put it down.

I just didn't want it to end.

'I think my life here is good.'

I probably appreciate it more now having been to New Zealand.

But although Sharon feels a lot more settled with her life in England,

New Zealand has left a lasting impression on her.

I still have a yearning

to experience something new and different involving travel,

and, if possible, to be able to work in New Zealand.

I don't think I would emigrate, because Alexander is still absolutely convinced that his home

is in the UK and this is where he wants to be,

and I can't imagine living in New Zealand permanently if he was here.

Oliver I think would go, because he loved it.

It will be definitely a consideration for me, cos I really liked it there, so...

My brother really would like New Zealand,

cos he's all into sport and open areas.

He's more of a country person whereas I'm more of...

I like the city and parties and stuff like that.

We are a team, so I have to sort of consider my future in terms of what there's will be, as well.

But as they get older and more independent

and more established in their own lives, then that frees me, really.

'I think I am going to stay in England for my life,

'cos I'm happy with the UK.'

I've just got my life set, and I know what I'm going to do,

and I'd have to start all fresh again.

It's a bit... It's a really drastic move.

What was really special was that we had that time together,

and that it's created memories that we will carry with us forever.

It's a question of letting the boys do what they need to do

and be there for them right now,

but maybe in the future then think, "Well, what shall I do now?"

And actually it's quite exciting thinking about all the options.

With the family happy in the UK,

it looks like the decision to stay was the right one for the Coles.

But is the dream of emigrating well and truly over for everyone?

Time will tell.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd