Ratatouille

Although each of the world's countries dispute this fact,

we French know the truth. The best food in the world is made in France.

The best food in France is made in Paris.

The best food in Paris is made by chef Auguste Gusteau.

Gusteau's restaurant is the toast of Paris,

booked five months in advance.

His ascent to the top of fine French cuisine

has made his competitors envious.

He is the youngest chef ever to achieve a five-star rating.

Chef Gusteau's cookbook, 'Anyone Can Cook',

climbed to the top of the bestseller list.

But not everyone celebrates its success.

Amusing title. "Anyone Can Cook".

What is even more amusing is that Gusteau seems to believe it.

I, on the other hand, take cooking seriously,

and no, I don't think anyone can do it.

THUNDER ROLLS

SCREAM/CRASH

'This...is me.

'I think it's apparent I need to rethink my life.

'What's my problem?

'First of all, I'm a rat.

'Which means life is hard.

'And second, I have a highly developed sense of taste and smell.'

Flour, eggs, sugar, vanilla bean.

Oh, small twist of lemon!

You can smell all that?

You have a gift.

'This is Emile, my brother.

-'He is easily impressed.'

-So, you can smell ingredients.

-So what?

-'This is my dad.

'He is never impressed.

'He also happens to be the leader of our clan.

'What's wrong with having highly developed senses?'

-Whoa, whoa, don't eat that!

-What's going on here?

'Turns out that funny smell was rat poison.

'Suddenly Dad didn't think my talent was useless.

'I was feeling pretty good about my gift.

'Until Dad gave me a job.'

Clean... Clean...

'That's right. Poison checker.'

Cleanarino... Close to godliness...

..which means "clean".

You know, cleanliness is close to... Never mind.

'It made my dad proud.'

Don't you feel better, Remy?

-You've helped a noble cause.

-Noble?

We're thieves, Dad.

And what we're stealing is, let's face it, garbage.

It isn't stealing if no-one wants it.

If no-one wants it, why are we stealing it?

'Let's just say we have different points of view.

'This much I knew - if you are what you eat,

then I only want to eat the good stuff.

'But to my dad...'

Food is fuel.

If you get picky about what you put in the tank, your engine will die.

Now shut up and eat your garbage.

If we're going to be thieves, why not steal stuff in the kitchen?

Where nothing is poisoned.

First of all, we are not thieves.

Secondly, stay out of the kitchen and away from the humans.

It's dangerous.

'I know I'm supposed to hate humans, but there's something about them.

'They don't just survive - they discover, they create.

'Just look at what they do with food!'

'Good food is like music you can taste, colour you can smell.'

'There is excellence all around you.'

'You need only be aware to stop and savour it.'

'Gusteau was right.

'Mmm, yeah. Amazing.

'Each flavour was totally unique.

'But, combine one flavour with another

'and something new was created.

'So now I had a secret life.'

HE CHUCKLES

'The only one who knew about it was Emile.'

Pst! Hey, Emile. Emile!

I found a mushroom.

You're good at hiding food, help me find a place to put this.

'He doesn't understand me, but I can be myself around him.'

Why are you walking like that?

I don't want to constantly wash my paws.

Do you ever think how we walk on the same paws that we handle food with?

-Think about what we put into our mouths?

-All the time.

When I eat, I don't want to taste everywhere my paws have been.

Well, go ahead.

But if Dad see you walking like that, he's not going to like it.

What have you got there?

HE CHUCKLES

You found cheese? And not just any cheese.

Tomme de chevre de pays!

That would go beautifully with my mushroom!

And... and...

..And this rosemary.

With - maybe - maybe a few drops from this sweet grass.

Well, throw it on the pile, I guess. And then we'll...

We don't want to throw this in with the garbage! This is special.

But we're supposed to return before sundown...

Emile! There are possibilities unexplored here.

We've got to cook this.

Now exactly HOW we cook this is the real question...

Ooh! Yeah!

The key is to keep turning, get the smoky flavour nice and even.

That storm is getting closer.

Hey, Remy.

You think that maybe we shouldn't be so...

THEY SCREAM

THUD

REMY GROANS

NIBBLES FOOD

Whoa! You've got to taste this!

It's got this kind of burny... melty...

It's not really a smoky taste.

It's kind of like a...boom! Zap! Kind of taste.

What would you call that flavour?

-Lightning-y?

-Yeah! It's lightning-y!

We've got to do that again!

When the next storm comes, we'll go up on the roof...

I know what this needs. Saffron! A little saffron would MAKE this!

-Saffron. Why do I get the feeling...

-BOTH: It's in the kitchen!

COOKING PROGRAMME ON TV

Er... Saffron...

-Not good.

-Saffron...

Don't like it. She's going to wake up.

I've been down here a million times.

She turns on the cooking channel, boom. She never wakes up.

You've been here a million times?

Saffron will be just the thing. Gusteau swears by it.

-Who's Gusteau?

-Just the greatest chef in the world.

Wrote this cookbook.

Wait, wait, you...read?

-Well...not excessively.

-Man, does Dad know?

You could fill a book - a lot of books - with things Dad doesn't know.

And they have. Which is why I read.

Which is also our secret.

I don't like secrets.

All this cooking and reading and TV watching.

While we...read and cook.

It's like you're involving me in crime, and I let you.

Why do I let you?

What's taking those kids so long?

L'Aquila Saffron. Italian. Gusteau says it's excellent.

Good thing the old lady is a food lov...

Hey, that's Gusteau. Emile, look.

'Great cooking is not for the faint of heart.

'You must be imaginative, strong-hearted,

'you must try things that may not work

'and you must not let anyone define your limits

'because of where you come from. Your only limit is your soul.

'What I say is true, anyone can cook.

'But only the fearless can be great.'

Pure poetry.

'But it was not to last.

'Gusteau's restaurant lost one of its five stars

'after a scathing review by France's top food critic, Anton Ego.

'It was a severe blow to Gusteau.

'The broken-hearted chef died shortly afterwards.

'Which, according to tradition, meant the loss of another star.'

Gusteau is dead?

SHE GASPS, HE SQUEAKS

Oh! Ohh!

Whoah!

Oh.

Blood!

Run!

No, you'll lead her to the colony!

GUN CLICKS

-Help, Remy, help!

-Emile, start swinging the light.

SQUEAKING

I'll try to grab you!

Emile, swing to me!

HE YELLS

CEILING CRACKS

SHE SCREAMS

Evacuate! Everyone to the boats!

The book!

BREATHES HEAVILY

Go, go! Move, move!

Move it! Move it!

Give me your paw!

Hey, wait for me!

Do we have everybody? Where's Remy?

Right here, I'm coming!

I'm coming!

Hold on, Son. Give him something to grab on to.

Paddle, son.

Come on, reach for it.

-Remy!

-Dad!

Come on, you can make it!

Guys, wait! Stop!

-Remy, come on!

-Wait for me!

Hold on.

Dad?

Dad?

Argh!

HE COUGHS

GASPS FOR AIR

'I waited...

'..for a sound...

'..a voice...

'..a sign...

'..something.'

STOMACH GROWLS

If you are hungry, go up and look around, Remy.

Why do you wait and mope?

Well, I've just lost my family.

All my friends. Probably forever.

How do you know?

Well... I... YOU are an illustration.

Why am I talking to you?

You just lost your family, all your friends.

You are lonely.

Yeah, well, you're dead.

But zat is no match for wishful thinking!

If you focus on what you have left behind

you will never see what lies ahead.

Now go up and look around!

HUM OF CONVERSATION

HE SNIFFS

CORK POPS, PEOPLE EXCLAIM

-What are you doing?

-I'm hungry.

I don't know where I am and I don't know when I'll find food again.

Remy, you are better than zat.

You are a cook.

A cook makes. A thief takes.

-You are not a thief.

-I AM hungry.

Food will come, Remy.

Food always comes to those who love to cook.

MAN SHOUTS: You don't have the guts!

GUNSHOT

DOG BARKS

Paris.

All this time I've been underneath Paris?

Wow.

It's beautiful.

Ze most beautiful.

Gusteau's? Your restaurant?

You've led to me to your restaurant?

It seems as though I have.

Yes. There it is, I have led you to it!

I've got to see this.

Ready to go on table seven!

I need more soup bowls, please.

I need two salmon, three salades composes and three filets!

Two orders seared salmon.

Three filets, working! I need plates.

Hello, Chef Skinner.

Evening, Chef.

Hey, boss, look who's here. Alfredo Linguini.

Renata's little boy.

All grown up, eh? You remember Renata.

Gusteau's old flame.

-Ah, yes. How are you, erm...

-Linguini.

Yes, Linguini. So nice of you to visit.

-How is...

-My mother?

-Renata.

-Yes, Renata. How is she?

Good, well, not good. She's been better.

She died.

Oh. I'm sorry.

Don't be.

She believed in heaven, so she's covered.

You know, afterlife-wise.

-What is this?

-She left it for you.

I think she hoped it would help.

Me. You know, get a job. Here.

But of course, Gusteau wouldn't hesitate.

Any son of Renata...

Well, we could file this and if something suitable opens up...

-We've already hired him.

-What?!

-How dare you hire someone without...

-We needed a garbage boy.

Oh, garbage.

Well... I'm glad it worked out.

Er...

I can't believe it.

A real gourmet kitchen and I get to watch.

You've read my book. Let's see how much you know.

-Which one is the chef?

-Oh... Er...

-That guy.

-Very good.

-Who is next in command?

-The sous-chef...

there.

The sous is responsible for the kitchen when the chef is not around.

Saucier, in charge of sauces. Very important.

Chef de partie, demi-chef de partie, both important.

Commis, commis... They're cooks, very important.

You are a clever rat. Now, who is that?

Oh, him? He's nobody.

Not nobody, he is part of zee kitchen.

He's a plongeur, or something.

He washes dishes or takes out the garbage.

-He doesn't cook.

-But he could.

Er, no.

How do you know? What do I always say?

Anyone can cook.

Yeah, anyone CAN. That doesn't mean that anyone SHOULD.

Zat is not stopping him. See?

What is he doing?

No. No! This is terrible.

He's ruining the soup!

And nobody is noticing.

It's your restaurant, do something!

What can I do? I'm a figment of your imagination.

But he's ruining the soup, we have to tell someone!

HE GASPS

Whoah!

Gah!

HE SNIFFS

CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS

-Ooh!

-Ah!

HE PANTS

Huh!

HE GAGS

HE SNIFFS

-Remy!

-What are you waiting for?

Is this going to become a regular thing?

You know how to fix it, this is your chance.

The soup! Where is the soup?

Out of my way.

Move it, garbage boy.

YOU are cooking?

How dare you cook in my kitchen?

Where do you get the gall to even attempt something

so monumentally idiotic?

I should have you drawn and quartered.

I'll do it! I think the law is on my side.

Put him in the duck press to squeeze the fat out!

What are you blathering about?

The soup!

Soup.

Stop that soup!

Nooooo!

Waiter!

Linguini!

You're fired!

F-I-R-E-D!

-Fired!

-She wants to see the chef.

But, he-he...

What did the customer say?

It was not a customer. It was a critic.

-Ego?

-Celine LeClaire.

LeClaire. What did she say?

She likes the soup.

What do you mean, "wait"? You're the reason I'm in this mess.

Someone is asking about your soup.

What are you playing at?

I, um... Am I still fired?

-You can't fire him.

-What?!

LeClaire likes it. She made a point of telling you so.

If she writes a review and finds out you fired the cook responsible...

-He is a garbage boy.

-Who made something she likes.

How can we claim to represent the name of Gusteau

if we don't uphold his most cherished belief?

And what belief is that, Mademoiselle Tatou?

Anyone can cook.

Perhaps I have been a bit...'arsh on our new garbage boy.

'Ee has taken a bold risk. We should reward that.

As Chef Gusteau would have.

If he wishes to swim in dangerous waters, who are we to deny him?

-You were escaping.

-Oh, yeah.

Since you have expressed such an interest in his cooking career,

you shall be responsible for it.

Anyone else?

Then back to work!

You are either very lucky or very unlucky.

You will make the soup again and zis time, I'll be paying attention.

Very close attention.

They think you might be a cook.

But you know what I think, Linguini?

I think you are a sneaky, over-reaching little...

Rat!

Get the rat!

Get something to trap it!

-What should I do now?

-Kill it.

-Now?

-No, not in the kitchen.

Do you know what would happen to us

if anyone knew we had a rat in our kitchen?

They'd close us down.

Our reputation is 'anging by a thread as it is.

Take it away from here. Far away. Kill it. Dispose of it.

Go!

REMY PANTS

Don't look at me like that.

You aren't the only one who's trapped.

They expect me to cook it again!

I'm not ambitious, I wasn't trying to cook,

I was just trying to stay out of trouble.

You're the one who was getting fancy with the spices.

What did you throw in there? Oregano?

No? Rosemary?

That's a spice, isn't it? Rosemary.

You didn't throw rosemary in there?

Then what was all the flipping and throwing and...

I need this job.

I've lost so many.

I don't know how to cook and now I'm actually talking to a rat as if you...

Did you nod? Have you been nodding?

You understand me?

So I'm not crazy.

Wait a second, wait a second.

I can't cook. Can I?

But you... You can. Right?

Don't be so modest, you're a rat, for Pete's sake.

Whatever you did, they liked it.

Yeah... This could work.

Hey, they liked the soup. Ah!

They liked the soup.

Do you think you could... do it again?

OK, I'm going to let you out now.

But we're together on this.

Right?

OK.

HE CHUCKLES

HE SIGHS

Nng!

GRUNTING

HE CURSES

So, this is it.

It's not much, but it's...

You know...

Not much.

Could be worse. There's heat and light and a couch with a TV,

so what's mine is yours.

-'Are you... Is this...a dream?

-'Ze best kind of dream.

'One we can share.

-'But why here, why now?'

-HE SNORES

'Why NOT here, why NOT now?

'What better place to dream than in Paris?'

Morning, little chef.

Rise and shi...

Oh, no.

Idiot, I knew this would happen!

I let a rat in to my place and tell him what's mine is his.

Eggs, gone!

Stupid, he stole my food and hit the road.

What did I expect? That's what I get for trusting a...

Is that for me?

Mm! That's good. What did you put in this?

Where did you get that?

Look, it's delicious, but don't steal.

I'll buy some spices, OK?

Now, we're going to be late and on the first day!

Come on, little chef.

"Though I, like many other critics,

"have written off Gusteau as irrelevant

"since the great chef's death, the soup was a revelation.

"A spicy yet subtle taste experience."

-Celine LeClaire?

-Yes!

"Against all odds, Gusteau's has recaptured our attention.

"Only time will tell if they deserve it."

Well...

You know.

Look, I know it's stupid and weird,

but neither of us can do this alone so we got to do it together, right?

You with me?

So, let's do this thing!

DOORS BANG

HE WINCES AND MUTTERS

Welcome to hell.

Now, recreate the soup.

Take as much time as you need.

All week, if you must.

Soup.

HE LAUGHS

Ow! (You little...)

Ow!

Ow!

HE SHOUTS REPEATEDLY

(Just stop that...) Oooh!

Ow! (You...!)

Argh!

HE SHOUTS

HE SHOUTS

This is NOT going to work, little chef!

I'm going to lose it if we do this any more.

We've got to figure out something else.

Something that doesn't involve any biting or nipping

or running up and down my body with your little rat feet.

The biting - no!

Scampering - no!

No scampering or scurrying.

Understand, little chef?

Little chef?

Oh, you're hungry.

OK, so let's think this out.

You know how to cook and I know how to appear...human.

We just need to work out a system so I do what you want

in a way that doesn't look like I'm being controlled by a tiny rat chef.

Will you listen to me, I'm insane, I'm insane!

Talking to a rat in a refrigerator!

MUFFLED SHOUTING

-Linguini?

-We've got to communicate.

I can't be constantly checking for a yes or no head shake from a rat...

The rat! I saw it!

-The rat?

-Yes, yes, a rat, right next to you.

What are you doing in here?

I'm just...familiarising myself with the vegetables and such.

Get out!

One can get too familiar with vegetables, you know.

That was close.

Are you OK up there?

HE LAUGHS

How did you do that?

Oh.

Whoah! That's strangely involuntary.

'One look and I knew, we had the same crazy idea.'

OK.

Huh?

Ow!

Where are you taking me?

Wait...

CRASH

I'm sorry.

Whoa.

OK.

HE SNIFFS

HE SNIFFS

TYRES SCREECH

CRASH

Whoa!

Whoa!

A votre sante.

HE LAUGHS

That should do it.

Congratulations.

You were able to repeat your accidental success.

But you will need to know more than soup

if you are to survive in my kitchen, boy.

Colette will be responsible for teaching you how we do things here.

Listen, I just want you to know how honoured I am

to be studying under such a...

No, you listen. I want you to know who you are dealing with.

-How many women do you see in this kitchen?

-Well, I...

Only me. Why do you think that is?

Because Haute Cuisine is an antiquated hierarchy

built on rules written by stupid old men.

Rules designed to make it impossible for women to enter this world.

But still I am here. How did this happen?

Because, well, because...

Because I am the toughest cook in this kitchen.

I worked too hard for too long to get here

and I'm not going to jeopardise it for some garbage boy who got lucky.

Got it?

Wow.

Easy to cook, easy to eat.

Gusteau makes Chinese food Chin-easy!

-Excellent work, Francois, as usual.

-It's good, isn't it?

I want you to work up something for my latest frozen food concept.

Gusteau's corn puppies. They are like corn dogs, only smaller.

-Bite size.

-What are corn dogs?

Cheap sausages dipped in batter and deep fried. You know, American.

Whip something up. Maybe Gusteau in overalls.

Or as a big ear of corn in doggy make-up.

But please, with dignity.

Get my lawyer!

Well, the will stipulates that if after a period of two years

from the date of death no heir appears,

Gusteau's business interests will pass to his sous-chef. You.

I know what the will stipulates.

What I want to know is if this letter...

If this BOY changes anything.

-There is not much resemblance.

-There's no resemblance at all!

He is not Gusteau's son. Gusteau had no children.

And what of the timing of all this?

The deadline in the will expires in less than a month.

Some boy arrives with a letter from his recently-deceased mother

claiming Gusteau's his father. Highly suspect.

-This is Gusteau's.

-Yes, yes.

-May I?

-Of course, of course.

But the boy does not know.

She claimed she never told him or Gusteau. And asks that I don't tell.

-Why you? What does she want?

-A job for the boy.

-Only a job?

-Well, yes.

Then what are you worried about?

If he works here, you will be able to keep an eye on him

while I do a little digging, find out how much of this is real.

I'll need you to collect some DNA samples from the boy.

-Hair, maybe.

-Mark my words, the whole thing is highly suspect.

He knows something.

Relax, he's a garbage boy. I think you can handle him.

-What are you doing?

-I'm cutting vegetables.

-Cutting vegetables.

-No, you waste energy and time.

You think cooking is a cute job. Like Mummy in the kitchen.

Mummy never had to face the dinner rush when orders come flooding in

and every dish is different with different cooking times,

but must arrive on the customer's table at exactly the same time. I am chopping.

Every second counts and you cannot be Mummy!

What is this? Keep your station clear.

Messy station, sloppy stance. Orders pile up, disaster.

I'll make this easy to remember.

Keep your station clear

or I will kill you!

Eurgh! Your sleeves look like you threw up on them.

Keep your hands and arms in, close to the body.

Always return to this position.

Cooks move fast, sharp utensils, hot metal. Keep your arms in,

you will minimise cuts and burns and keep your sleeves clean.

Mark of a chef, messy apron, clean sleeves.

I know the Gusteau style code.

In every dish, Gusteau always had something unexpected.

I'll show you. I memorised all his recipes.

-Always do something unexpected.

-No, follow the recipe.

-But you just said...

-No, it was his job be unexpected.

It is our job to follow the recipe.

How do you tell how good bread is without tasting it?

Not the smell, not the look, but the sound.

The crust. Listen.

BREAD CRACKLES

A symphony of crackle. Only great bread sounds this way.

The only way to get the best produce is to have first pick of the day.

Only two ways to get first pick. Grow it yourself, or bribe a grower.

Bonjour.

Voila. The best restaurants get first pick.

People think Haute Cuisine is snooty.

So the chef must also be snooty. But not so.

Lalo there, ran away from home at 12.

Got hired by circus people as an acrobat.

And then he gets fired

for messing around with the ringmaster's daughter.

-Horst has done time.

-What for?

No-one knows. He changes the story every time you ask.

I defrauded a major corporation.

I robbed the second largest bank in France using only a ballpoint pen.

I created a hole in the ozone over Avignon.

I killed a man...with this thumb.

Don't ever play cards with Pompidou.

He's been banned from Las Vegas and Monte Carlo.

-Larousse ran guns for the Resistance.

-Which Resistance?

He won't say. Apparently they didn't win.

So you see, we are artists. Pirates.

-More than cooks are we.

-We?

-We. You are one of us now, oui?

-Oui!

Thank you, for the advice about cooking.

-Thank you, too.

-For what?

For taking it.

The rat!

I just dropped my keys.

Have you decided this evening?

-The soup is excellent...

-But we order it every time.

-What else do you have?

-We have a very nice foie gras...

I know about the foie gras, the old standby.

What does the chef have that's new?

-Someone has asked what is new!

-New?

-What did you tell them?

-I told them I would ask!

What are you blathering about?

-Customers asking what is new.

-What should I tell them?

-What DID you tell them?

-I told them I would ask!

This is simple. Just pull out an old Gusteau recipe.

-One we haven't made in a while...

-They know about the old stuff.

They like Linguini's soup.

They are asking for food from Linguini?

A lot of customers like the soup. That's all we're saying.

Very well, if it's Linguini they want, tell them chef Linguini

has prepared something special for them, something definitely off-menu.

-And don't forget to stress its Linguini-ness.

-Oui, Chef.

Now is your chance to try something worthy of your talent, Linguini.

A forgotten favourite of the chef's. Sweetbread a la Gusteau.

-Colette will help you.

-Oui, Chef.

Hurry up, our diners are hungry.

Are you sure? That recipe was a disaster. Gusteau himself said so.

Just the sort of challenge a budding chef needs.

Sweetbread a la Gusteau. Sweetbread cooked in a sweet salt crust

with cuttlefish tentacle, duck egg,

dried white fungus and liquorice sauce.

I don't know this one, but it's Gusteau. So - Lalo!

-We have some veal stomach soaking, yes?

-Yes!

Veal stomach?

I'll be right back.

Where?

Y...OK!

Hey! Don't mind me! I just...

Need to borrow this, real quick.

Let's see...over here.

I'll be back.

Thank you.

Excuse me. Apparently I need this. I'll be right back.

I'm going to have some of that... spice.

OK.

What are you doing? Prepare the Gusteau recipe!

This is the recipe.

The recipe doesn't call for white truffle oil.

You are improvising?!

This is no time to experiment. The customers are waiting.

You're right, I should listen to you.

-Stop that.

-Stop what?

Freaking me out. Whatever you're doing, stop it.

-Where is the special order?

-Coming!

-I thought we were together on this.

-We are together.

-There what are you doing?

-It's very hard to explain.

-The special!

-Come get it.

Whoa! I forgot the anchovy liquorice sauce.

-Don't you dare.

-I'm not, I'm not!

Sorry.

-Is Linguini's dish done yet?

-It's as bad as we remember.

-Just went out.

-Did you taste it?

-Of course, before he changed it.

-Good.

What? How could he change it?

He changed it as it was going out the door!

-Argh!

-They love it!

Other diners are already asking about it.

-I have seven more orders.

-That's... wonderful.

Special order.

Special order. Special order! Special order!

(ALL) To Linguini!

Take a break, little chef. Get some air.

We really did it tonight.

Da!

Got your toque!

Seriously now. I would love to have a little talk with you,

-Linguini - in my office.

-Am I in trouble?

Trouble? No! A little wine, a friendly chat.

Just us cooks.

The plongeur won't be coming to you for advice any more, eh, Colette?

He's gotten all he needs.

Toasting your success, eh, Linguini?

Good for you.

I just took it to be polite. I don't really drink.

Of course you don't.

I wouldn't either if I was drinking zat.

But you would have to be an idiot of elephantine proportions

not to appreciate this '61 Chateau Latour.

And you, Monsieur Linguini, are no idiot.

Let us toast your non-idiocy.

GLASSES CLINK

CRASH

-Remy!

-Emile?

I can't believe you're alive!

I thought I'd never see you guys again!

We thought you didn't survive the rapids.

What ARE you eating?

I don't really know.

I think it was some sort of wrapper once.

What? No.

You're in Paris now, baby. My town.

No brother of mine eats rejectamenta in my town.

Remy! You're stealing?

You told Linguini he could trust you.

-And he can, it's for my brother.

-But the boy could lose his job.

Which means I would too. It's under control, OK?

More wine?

I-I shouldn't, but... OK.

-So, where did you train, Linguini?

-Train?

Surely you don't expect me to believe

this is your first time cooking?

-It's not.

-I knew it!

It's my...(third, fourth...) fifth time.

Monday was my first time.

But I've taken out the garbage lots of times before that.

Yes, yes, have some more wine.

Tell me, Linguini, about your interests.

-Do you like animals?

-What? Animals?

What kind?

The usual - dogs, cats, horses, guinea pigs...

rats?

I brought you something...

No, no, no! Spit that out right now!

I have GOT to teach you about food. Close your eyes.

Now, take a bite of this...

-No, no, don't just hawk it down!

-Too late.

Here, chew it slowly. Only think about the taste.

See?

Not really.

Creamy, salty, sweet... An oaky nuttiness.

-You detect that?

-Oh, I'm detecting nuttiness.

Close your eyes. Now taste this.

A whole different thing, right?

Sweet, crisp, a slight tang on the finish.

-OK.

-Now, try them together.

I think I'm getting a little something there.

-Might be the nuttiness.

-See?

-Could be the tang.

-That's it.

Now imagine every great taste in the world,

combined in infinite combinations. Tastes that no-one has tried yet!

Discoveries to be made!

-I think...

-Uh-uh?

You lost me again. But that was interesting.

Most interesting garbage I ever... What are we doing?!

Dad doesn't know you're alive yet. We've got to go to the colony.

-Everyone will be thrilled!

-Yeah, but...

-What?

-The thing is, I kind of have to...

What do you "have to" more than family?

What's more important here?

Well...

It wouldn't hurt to visit.

-Have you ever had a pet rat?

-No.

-Did you work in a lab with rats?

-No.

-Perhaps you lived in squalor at some point?

-Nopety-nopety-no.

You know something about rats, you know you do!

You know who-know do, whack-a-do.

Rat-a-tat-a... Hey, why do they call it that?

-What?

-Ratatouille.

It's like a stew, right? Why do they call it that?

If you're going to name a food, give it a name that sounds delicious.

Ratatouille doesn't sound delicious.

It sounds like rat and patootie.

Rat-patootie.

Which does NOT sound delicious.

Regrettably, we are all out of wine.

My son has returned!

CHEERING

JAZZ PLAYS

Finding someone to replace you for poison checker has been a disaster.

Nothing's been poisoned, thank God,

but it hasn't been easy. You didn't make it easy.

I know. I'm sorry, Dad.

Well, the important thing is that you're home.

-Yeah, well, about that...

-You look thin. Why's that?

A shortage of food or a surplus of snobbery?!

It's tough out there in the big world all alone, isn't it?

Sure, but it's not like I'm a kid any more.

I can take care of myself.

I've found a nice spot not far away, so I'll be able to visit often.

Nothing like a cold splash of reality to...

Visit?

-I will, I promise. Often.

-You're not staying?

No. It's not a big deal, Dad.

You didn't think I was going to stay forever, did you?

Eventually a bird has to leave the nest.

We're not birds. We are rats.

We don't leave our nests, we make them bigger.

Maybe I'm a different kind of rat.

-Maybe you're not a rat at all.

-Maybe that's a good thing.

Hey, the band's really on tonight.

Rats - all we do is take. I'm tired of taking.

I want to make things.

I want to ADD something to this world.

-You're talking like a human.

-Who are not as bad as you say.

Oh, yeah? What makes you so sure?

I've...been able to observe them at a close-ish sort of range.

-Yeah? How close?

-Close enough.

And they're not so bad as you say.

Come with me. I got something I want you to see.

I'm going to stay here.

Make sure the floors and counter tops are clean before you lock up.

-You want me to stay and clean?

-Is that a problem?

-No.

-Good boy.

See you tomorrow.

HE GROANS

We're here.

HE GASPS

Take a good long look, Remy.

This is what happens when a rat

gets a little too comfortable around humans.

The world we live in belongs to the enemy.

We must live carefully.

We look out for our own kind, Remy.

When all is said and done, we're all we've got.

No.

What?

No. Dad, I don't believe it.

You're telling me that the future is, can only be, more of this?

This is the way things are. You can't change nature.

Change IS nature, Dad. The part that we can influence.

And it starts when we decide.

-Where are you going?

-With luck, forward.

Hey.

Oof!

SNORING

MOTORBIKE PULLS UP

(Stop it.)

Morning.

(Ahem.) Good morning.

So...

The chef, he invited you in for a drink. That's big.

That's big. What did he say?

What?

You can't tell me?

Oh, forgive me for intruding on your deep personal relationship

with the Chef.

I see how it is.

You get me to teach you a few kitchen tricks to dazzle the boss

and then you blow past me.

(Wake up. Wake up!)

I thought you were different.

-I thought you thought

-I

-was different.

-I thought...

-HE SNORES

I didn't have to help you!

If I looked out only for myself, I would have let you drown.

But... I wanted you to succeed.

I liked you.

-My mistake.

-Colette.

Wait, wait!

It's over, little chef. I can't do it any more.

Colette, wait, wait!

Don't motorcycle away!

I'm no good with words, I'm no good with food, either.

At least, not without your help.

I hate false modesty.

It's just another way to lie.

-You have talent.

-But I don't, really. It's not me.

When I added that ingredient instead of following a recipe like you said,

-that wasn't me.

-What do you mean?

-I mean

-I

-wouldn't have done that. I would have followed the recipe.

I would have followed your advice.

I would have followed your advice because I love you...r advice.

But?

-But, I...

-Don't do it.

I have a secret. It's sort of disturbing.

I have a r...

What...?

I have a ra...

You have a...rash?

No, no. I have this tiny little...

..a tiny chef who tells me what to do.

-A...tiny...chef.

-Yes, yes.

He's...

-He's up here.

-In...your brain?

HE GROANS Why is it so hard to talk to you?

OK. Here we go.

You inspire me.

I'm going to risk it all.

I'm going to risk looking like the biggest idiot psycho ever.

You want to know why I'm such a fast learner?

You want to know why I'm such a great cook?

Don't laugh. I'm going to show you.

No! No!

TYPEWRITER KEYS CLACK

-What is it, Ambrister?

-Gusteau's.

-Finally closing, is it?

-No.

-More financial trouble?

-No.

Announced a new line of microwave egg rolls?

What? What? Spit it out!

It's...come back. It's popular.

-I haven't reviewed Gusteau's in years.

-No, sir.

-My last review condemned it to the tourist trade.

-Yes, sir.

I said, "Gusteau has finally found his rightful place in history,

"right alongside another equally famous chef, Monsieur Boyardee."

Touche.

That is where I left it. That was my last word.

-THE last word.

-Yes.

Then tell me, Ambrister - how could it be popular?

-No, no, no, no, no!

-The DNA matches.

The timing works. Everything checks out.

-He is Gusteau's son.

-But this can't just happen.

The whole thing is a set-up. The boy knows.

Look at him out there, pretending to be an idiot.

He's toying with my mind like a cat with a ball.

-Of...something.

-String?

Yes, playing dumb, taunting me with that rat.

-Rat?

-Yes, he's consorting with it.

Deliberately trying to make me think it's important.

-Ze rat?

-Exactly.

-Is the rat important?

-Of course not.

He just wants me to think that it is.

I see the theatricality of it.

The rat appears on the boy's first night.

I order him to kill it and now he wants me to see it everywhere.

Oooh!

It's here, no it isn't, it's here.

Am I seeing things? Am I crazy? Is there a phantom?

No, I REFUSE to be sucked into his little game.

Of...

Should I be concerned about this?

About you?

I can't fire him, he's getting attention.

If I fire him now, everyone will wonder why.

And the last thing I want is people looking into this.

What are you so worried about? Isn't it good to have the press?

Good to get headlines?

Not if they're over his face.

Gusteau's already has a face and it's fat and lovable and familiar.

And it sells burritos.

Millions and millions of burritos.

Ze deadline passes in three days.

Zen you can fire him whenever he ceases to be valuable.

And no-one will ever know.

I was worried about the hair sample you gave me.

I had to send it back to the lab.

The first time it came back identified as rodent hair.

No, no, no. Try this.

It's better.

Whoah!

ENGINE ROARS

Rat!

SCREAMING

Disgusting little creatures.

'I was reminded how fragile it all was.

'How the world really saw me.

'And it just kept getting better.'

Remy?

Hey, little brother!

We were afraid you weren't going to show up.

Hey, Remy. How you doing?

You told them?

Emile, that's exactly what I said not to do.

You know these guys, they're my friends.

I didn't think you meant them.

I'm sorry.

Don't tell ME you're sorry, tell THEM you're sorry.

Is there a problem over here?

No. There is not.

Wait here.

It's locked.

Remy, what are you doing in here?

Emile shows up with... I said not to, I told him.

He goes and blabs to... It's a disaster.

Anyway, they're hungry, the food safe is locked and I need the key.

-Zey want you to steal food?

-Yes. No.

It's complicated.

It's family. They don't have your ideals.

Ideals?

If Chef fancy pants had ideals, you think I'd be hocking barbecue here?

Or microwave burritos?

Or tooth - I say tooth-pickin' Chicken?

-About as French as a corn dog.

-BARKS

We're inventing new ways to sell out over here.

-Would you be wanting some haggis back there?

-ALL TALK AT ONCE

Shut up!

I've got to think.

Word is getting out and if I can't keep them quiet,

the entire clan is going to be after me

with their mouths open... Oh, here it is.

Hey! Your will! This is interesting.

-Mind if I...?

-Not at all.

Linguini?

Why would Linguini be filed with your will?

Zis used to be my office.

-He's your SON?!

-I have a son?!

-How could you not know this?

-I'm a figment of your imagination.

You did not know, how could I?

Your SON is the rightful owner of this restaurant!

No, no!

The rat!

Aaaargggh!

-Sorry, Chef.

-The rat has stolen my documents!

It's getting away!

Whooah!

Ow!

Aaaargh!

SPLASH

SHOES SQUELCH

You!

Get out of my office!

He's not in YOUR office. YOU are in HIS.

THEY CHEER

MUSIC: "Le Festin" by Camille

Your rise has been meteoric, yet you have no formal training.

-What is the secret to your genius?

-Secret? You want the truth?

I am...

..Gusteau's son.

It's in my blood, I guess.

-But you weren't aware of that until very recently.

-No.

And it resulted in your taking ownership of this restaurant.

How did you find out?

Well, some part of me just knew.

The Gusteau part. Ow!

Where do you get your inspiration?

Inspiration has many names.

Mine is named Colette.

What?! SQUEAKING

Something stuck in my teeth.

PHONE RINGS

-Health inspector.

-I wish to report a rat infestation.

It's taken over my... Gusteau's restaurant.

'Gusteau's, eh?'

I can drop by... Let's see... First opening is...three months.

'It must happen now.'

Monsieur, I have the information.

'If someone cancels, I will slot you in.'

But-but... The rat! You must!

It stole...my documents.

-It's past opening time.

-He should have finished an hour ago.

Bonjour, ma cherie. Join us.

-We're just talking about my inspiration.

-Yes,

-he calls it his tiny chef.

-Not that, dearest, I meant YOU.

DOOR CREAKS

CROWD WHISPERS It's him.

(I can't believe it.)

You are Monsieur Linguini?

Pardon me for interrupting your premature celebration.

But I thought it only fair to give you a sporting chance

as you are new to this game.

-Game?

-Yes.

And you've been playing without an opponent.

Which is, as you may have guessed, against the rules.

You're Anton Ego.

You're slow for someone in the fast lane.

And...you're thin for someone who likes food.

GASPS

I don't LIKE food,

I LOVE it.

If I don't love it, I don't swallow.

I will return tomorrow night with high expectations.

Pray you don't disappoint me.

We hate to be rude, but we are French, and it is dinner-time.

She meant to say, it's dinner time and we're French.

Don't give me that look.

You were distracting me in front of the press.

How am I supposed to concentrate with you yanking on my hair all the time?

And that's another thing,

your opinion isn't the only one that matters here.

Colette knows how to cook too, you know. Ow!

All right, that's it.

You take a break, little chef.

I'm not your puppet.

And you're not my... puppet-controlling guy.

The rat is the cook!

Get your mind right, little chef.

Ego is coming and I need to focus.

Grrr... You...stupid...

Wow. I have never seen that before.

Yeah. It's like you're his fluffy bunny or something.

ALL LAUGH

I'm sorry, Remy.

I know there are too many guys...

It's OK, I've been selfish. You guys hungry?

-You kidding?

-Dinner's on me. We'll go after closing.

In fact, tell Dad to bring the whole clan.

Little chef?

This is great, Son.

-An inside job. I see the appeal.

-Sh!

THUD

Little chef? Little chef?

Hey, little chef.

I thought you went back to the apartment.

Then when you weren't there, I... I don't know,

it didn't seem right to leave things the way that we did.

So, look, I don't want to fight. I've been under a lot of pressure.

A lot has changed in not very much time.

I'm suddenly a Gusteau and I gotta be a Gusteau.

Or people will be disappointed. It's weird.

I've never disappointed anyone before,

because nobody has ever expected anything of me.

And the only reason anyone expects anything of me now is because of you.

I haven't been fair to you.

You've never failed me and I should never forget that.

You've been a good friend.

The most honourable friend a guy could ever...

Urgh!

What is this?

What's going on?

You're... You're stealing food?

How could you?

I thought you were my friend! I trusted you!

Get out! You and all your rat buddies.

And don't come back

or I'll treat you the way restaurants are supposed to treat pests.

You're right, Dad.

Who am I kidding?

We are what we are.

And we're rats.

He'll leave soon and now you know how to get in. Steal all you want.

You're not coming?

I've lost my appetite.

Do you know what you would like this evening, sir?

Yes, I'd like your heart, roasted on a spit.

HE LAUGHS

KNOCK ON DOOR Come in!

Today's the big day. You should say something to them.

-Like what?

-You're the boss, inspire them.

Attention.

Attention, everyone.

Tonight is a big night.

Appetite is coming and he is going to have a big ego.

I mean, Ego. He's coming. The critic.

And he's going to order... something.

Something from our menu.

And we'll have to cook it.

Just can't leave it alone, can you?

You shouldn't be here during restaurant hours.

It's not safe.

I'm hungry. And I don't need inside food to be happy.

The key, my friend, is to not be picky.

Observe.

No, wait!

Oh, no. What do I do?

I'll go get Dad.

HE LAUGHS EVILLY

You might think you're a chef, but you are still only a rat.

Sure, he took away a star last time he reviewed this place.

-Sure, it probably killed Guste...

-This is very bad juju here.

-But I'll tell you one thing...

-Ego is here.

Anton Ego is just another customer. Let's cook.

Yeah! Let's...

OK.

So, I have in mind a simple arrangement.

You will create for me a new line of Chef Skinner frozen foods.

And I, in return, will not kill you.

Au revoir, rat.

Do you know what you would like this evening, sir?

Yes, I think I do.

After reading a lot of overheated puffery about your new cook,

you know what I'm craving?

A little perspective.

That's it.

I'd like some fresh, clear, well-seasoned perspective.

Can you suggest a good wine to go with that?

With...what, sir?

Perspective. Fresh out, I take it?

I erm, er...

Very well. Since you are all out of perspective

and no-one else seems to have it in this bloody town,

I will make you a deal.

You provide the food, I will provide the perspective.

Which would go nicely with a bottle of Cheval Blanc 1947.

I'm afraid... Your dinner selection?

Tell your chef Linguini that I want whatever he dares to serve me.

Tell him to hit me with his best shot.

I will 'ave whatever 'ee is having.

-So. We have given up.

-Why do you say that?

We are in a cage. Inside a car trunk.

Awaiting a future in frozen food products.

No, I'M the one in a cage.

I'VE given up.

You...are free.

I am only as free as you imagine me to be.

As you are.

Oh, please. I'm sick of pretending.

I pretend to be a rat for my father, I pretend to be a human for Linguini,

I pretend you EXIST so I have someone to talk to.

You only tell me stuff I already know!

I KNOW who I am. Why do I need YOU to tell me?

Why do I NEED to pretend?

Ah, but you don't, Remy.

You never did.

BANG

No, my OTHER left!

MUFFLED: Dad? Dad, I'm here!

BANG What the...?

-Dad!

-Hey, little brother.

Emile!

I love you guys.

Where you going?

Back to the restaurant. They'll fail without me!

-Why do you care?

-Because I'm a cook!

CRASH!

It's your recipe. How can you not know your own recipe?!

I didn't write it down, it just came to me.

Well make it come to you again, ja?

Because we've got service!

-Where is my order?

-Can't we serve them something else?

-This is what they're ordering.

-Tell them we're all out!

-We can't be all out, we just opened.

I have another idea, what if we... SERVE THEM WHAT THEY ORDERED?!

-Just tell us what you did.

-I don't know what I did!

We need to tell the customers something.

Tell them... Tell them...

HE SCREAMS

"Aah?"

Remy, don't do it!

They'll see you, stop!

They're talking about what to do right no...

ALL YELL

Don't - touch him!

Thanks for coming back, little chef.

I know this sounds insane, but the truth sounds insane sometimes.

But that doesn't mean it's not.

Er... The truth.