Scotland Floyd on Britain and Ireland

Every time I have a new passion,

I make a quick call to the BBC and my dreams are realised.

Here I am, going through the basic training in the gentle art of salmon fishing.

Notice the concentration on the boat race?

The salmon is playing hard to get,

but under the eagle eye of Peter the ghillie,

who's clearly impressed by my progress, we WILL succeed.

Look at him glowing with pride!

Or is it the mask of a man who's seen it all before?

So, will I catch a fish supper or will the cameraman run out of f...?

This is Loch Fyne,

home of the noted kipper, superb oysters and plump prawns,

a loch of stunning views, moody skies,

AND the birthplace of our dubbing mixer, Stuart Greig!

OK, Stu? Quite good, Keith.

In a half-hour programme you can't do everything.

Take my mate, Jimmy McNab.

Could tell you stories all night!

One thing he does well is marinate and roast a haunch of venison.

Tell us about it, Jimmy. First, we get the venison from the estate.

We hang it for ten days in the cold room, then we butcher it.

The cut we want today is a haunch.

We put the haunch into the tin

and we add apple, parsnip, carrot, onion,

a mixture of dried herbs and fresh herbs.

We cover the whole haunch with brown sugar and a few cloves of garlic.

We rub it in with a few cloves of...

What are these? Cloves. Yes, we rub it well in.

Then add a bottle and a half of good red wine, and cover it with foil.

Jimmy, you get on with that and get it in the oven. We'll come back to see your herrings later.

I've got a dinner party dish to cook over here, Richard.

Jimmy's got the heavy, slow-cooking haunch. I've got the delicate, expensive fillet steak of venison.

I cook it in creme de cassis. It looks like a pork fillet or a fillet steak.

You cut pieces off it - round pieces called collops.

Then you beat them out...

into lovely thin collops of venison like that.

We also need some water, which I'll explain later.

These go into the hot pan for a couple of seconds on each side,

just to brown them.

Add a bit of salt and pepper.

Then, straightaway,

we pour in some blackcurrant liqueur...

..and flame it.

They must come out straightaway now.

In we put some of Jimmy McNab's wonderful venison stock.

We've got to reduce that... Come back here, Richard!

We've got to reduce that for three or four minutes,

so I'll have a word with Jimmy while someone carries on.

Right, Jimmy, you have two minutes to explain your fabulous herrings.

Richard, get close and help him!

Off you go, Jimmy! OK. That's your original Loch Fyne herring.

This is salt herring purchased from Ardrishaig.

Leave it for 36 hours under running cold water.

Then nick the backbone off, the fin off...

..and chop it into pieces.

Press on, Jimmy! Film's expensive.

Chop up the onion.

Add a wee drop pimento, rosemary,

mixed herbs, a wee shake of crushed chillies.

Chop up your onion and your dill. This is all fresh herbs, as well.

Richard, pay attention! Mint, chives, tarragon, fresh dill.

Mix all these ingredients together and leave them lying for two hours.

Then boil one cup of brown sugar to one cup of good malt vinegar.

Boil that till the sugar dissolves.

Then mix the whole lot together and there's your end product.

The longer it lies, the better it matures. Absolutely brilliant! Oh, boy!

Will you have a drink with that?

It's a great combination, a dram of whisky and pickled herring.

You have your dram, and that gives you... You're hungry.

The salt herring gives you the thirst, you go back to the dram, back to the herring...

To end up, you're as pickled as what the herring is! Cheers! I must go back to the sauce.

Mmm... That was delicious!

To finish this sauce, I beat in a little butter

to the creme de cassis and the venison stock.

It takes 30 seconds to make it smooth and creamy and wonderful.

It's now ready.

I strain it over the little venison collops.

Lovely rich sauce! Down close on that, Richard.

I DID say you needed water for this dish. It goes into the dram.

Jimmy, come and have a taste!

If he doesn't like it, we'll cut him out of the film.

See what you think of it. It's really streamlined venison!

It cuts lovely!

Mmm...! OK?

Really first class. Good.

You'll be a favourite with the berry-pickers in Dundee!

Let's have a look at yours that's been roasting in the oven. Right you are. Pass me the cloths.

We have to hope and pray that this turns out like yours.

I'm sure it'll be better.

This is the true Scottish version, mine is a Sassenach version!

That looks brilliant! Get in there, Richard!

That is beautiful! Look at that - as tender as a baby's bottom!

That is beautiful!

Oh...! That's incredible! You've got to have a dram, Jimmy. That's good!

Thank you very much. Here's all the very best! Absolutely brilliant!

Do you want a bit yourself? No, no, I'm on a diet.

Look at that man, on a diet!

On a diet or is that a diet?

Isn't it funny how time flies when you're really enjoying yourself?

I was thrilled when the producer proposed another boat trip(!)

No self-respecting food programme should miss a trip on a prawny boat.

It's worth noting, you know,

for those of you who are a bit tight on the old spondulix, a bit mean,

that the arduous work of a prawn fisherman is not rewarded

by bulging creels of this vibrant delicacy,

it's much more usual to haul up a pot containing two or three

and on top of that they have to contend with vicious tides,

demonic currents and whirlpools.

Because this is the legendary Corryvreckan.

I'm surprised no-one's done a real bit of moody music over this,

you know, a symphony or something.

I think I'll knock one up on the way back. It should only take, what, three or four hours?

You know that I'm a dreadful stickler for the finest and freshest ingredients.

If you want a really good plate of langoustines from where I live, for example, in Bristol,

you have to fly to Barcelona, Madrid or somewhere like that,

because the finest langoustines from the west coast of Scotland invariably end up down there.

I thought it was cheaper on my BBC mini break

to enjoy some fabulous langoustines, by catching them - you've seen me do that,

well, I was watching while they were doing it - and cook them here.

But, in fact, four out of five people

have seen my brilliant programmes

where I've grilled them, I've roasted them, I've flamed them, and if you

haven't caught it by now, hard luck, I ain't cooking any more langoustines.

One of the best meals I had here was a gigot of mutton.

Absolutely fabulous. I thought to round off this lovely fishing trip we've had,

I'd make some rissoles.

Richard, into the pot. Those are the rissoles.

Do you know how you make rissoles? Come back again, please, Richard.

I know you've had a tiring day.

You get some old mutton that you've cooked cold, you've minced it up

by hand, not in your Magimix cos that liquidises it almost.

You add some mashed potatoes, some finely chopped onion

and some parsley.

But you don't fry them in corn oil, you get proper dripping.

This kind of stuff. That's what you fry them in.

They are absolutely fabulous. Shame on you lot who go to supermarkets

and buy little frozen packs of square things and drop them

into corn oil, because it's dreadful.

That's my lecture for today.

The director's been quite, quite good,

so although there's only two of those, and that's one for me

and one for the cameraman, I'm going to prepare him

a really super meal of langoustine bait, which is

some really nice bits of old herring, left to rot.

There we are, that's for being so good. How kind(!)

FLOYD HUMS Yep, that's it.

That's the first movement

and I'll knock that out on the old Joanna after dinner.

Now on to the delicate art of coining a kitchen.

Being on the culinary knocker as we call it in the trade.

Point one - stay modest and don't set your sights too high.

Point two - choose a house well blessed with fertile lands and healthy stock.

Three - remember to wipe your feet as you enter.

Four - cross your fingers as you say, "It won't take long."

A serious cookery demonstration

should commence with a few words from the bard.

Not Shakespeare, Rabbie Burns.

"O Lord, when hunger pinches sore,

"Stand us in stead and send us from Thy bounteous store a tup or wether head."

What on earth is that? It's a mutton, an elderly sheep. It's four years old at least.

It lives on these wonderful hills and glens, nibbling at bog myrtle, wild thyme, sage, parsley, heather.

It doesn't need herbs to be roasted in, it's been eating them all its life.

It ends up as this dark meat.

You'd hardly think that was lamb if you're used to milky English lamb which is quite different.

This "gigot" is a Scottish-French word.

In France, they'd say, "un jee-go".

Here they say, "jig-ot". It's a leg of mutton.

They poach it in water, very simply, with root vegetables:

turnips, swedes, leeks, carrots, an onion stuffed with cloves, simmered for three or four hours.

It's brilliant, and so is this remarkable kitchen!

I know it's not Antiques Roadshow but look at it! Handmade pots with the owner's initials.

This amazing tiling!

Come and have a look! It's extraordinary.

The doors, the fittings... it's like a yacht.

But think of the work! Scrubbing carrots, peeling potatoes, baking bread.

Mr Hudson would say, "Not good enough! Clean those plates!"

Escoffier would have loved it.

This is what really interests me - the dairy. Come on in, Richard.

It's cool and quiet.

In the busy days of banquets,

when you were sent to make the cream, it was a great relief.

Of course, the servants and staff have gone, but the laird still makes wonderful creamy butter.

Anyway, it's meant to be a cooking programme. Let's get back to it!

One more thing - this is really interesting.

They didn't just go to the Job Centre

and get signed on because they were good laundry maids.

They had to read the whole thing, book, rule and verse. "Duty to God, duty to the King," and look here...

"To submit myself to my governors, teachers, spiritual pastors and masters.

"To order myself lowly and reverently to all my betters."

I'd better go and cook the laird's dinner!

Sorry, I was fascinated by that and wanted you to see it. It's amazing!

Anyway, let's get down to business, put the toasting fork away, and talk about the gigot.

It's going to be poached in water with those root vegetables, and later served with a caper sauce.

It's simple to make from a roux of butter and flour, add milk, add stock from the cooked dish,

and chuck in some capers.

It's got to be simmered for three hours, so we'll pop it into this tub of water

into which I've put a couple of bay leaves, a couple of cloves, a couple of peppercorns, and salt.

We then surround it with all these splendid vegetables.

Because it will be cooked slowly, these vegetables won't disintegrate as you might think.

It will be simmered. There we are!

This is the laird's pot... My God, I bet the laird doesn't do this himself!

I imagine there are a few old retainers to lift it over!

Gordon Bennett! It's true - it's damned heavy!

Cor! That will now simmer for three hours.

I think it's time for me to take a dram and for you to take a break and walk round the estate.

It's one of which dreams are made.

SWEET, PSEUDO-SCOTTISH MUSIC

Look, I'm really sorry about this music,

but the BBC library was shut and the producer lent us this.

On balance, it's better than his other record,

"Richard Clayderman Takes the High Road."

Now, I'm not so sure!

Oh, dear, here's the loch again,

noted for its kippers, fine oysters, plump prawns...

Now to business! If, like me, you've just become a gardener,

what a fine place this is to nick a few cuttings!

But don't mess with the salmon or YOU'LL end up split and smoked, like this superb Loch Fyne beauty.

There we are, that's just about it.

You've had a trip round the estate while I've been slaving here,

poaching the gigot with root vegetables for the laird.

I promised him lunch at... I always run over time a bit!

In there it goes, and I'll just pass it up to myself... in the lift.

OK, Keith?

# Hey ho, hey ho, It's off to work I go... #

There we are, my Lord. Sorry it's late. It's only five o'clock.

There's no comparison between imported lamb and mutton happily raised

# ..on bog myrtle, heather and thyme. #

Now then, what I forgot to mention to our viewers was

the indispensable caper sauce. Have a close look, Richard.

You melt some butter, put a little flour in to make a roux,

then you add some milk.

Then, as it thickens, you add some of the stock from this into it

and then finally, some beautifully chopped up capers, which you

then pour over this...

This is sort of piquant and creamy,

and it goes brilliantly with the mutton.

Right, John, if I can just give you a bit of this stuff. Lovely.

A leek, I think. Right.

If you've been out hauling up... oysters

and things like that all day

or chasing venison, or whatever you lairds do.

Reading the Sunday Times. It's very exhausting(!)

Thank you. How's that? Oh, and a carrot. You must have a carrot.

Tuck into that and I'll serve myself. Thank you very much.

This is a three-year-old wether and I should think that you and I are

the only people in Great Britain eating such a strange dish today.

Yeah, what a shame.

Because it's not available and mutton is almost a pejorative term,

isn't it? Mutton dressed as lamb.

How can we get people to eat things like mutton?

I think it's very much up to... I think we've got to market it.

The farmers have got to try to think of ways of getting it

to the marketplace... as hill mutton.

And rather like the small vineyard owners might market their own

single vineyard wines, that sort of thing.

Anyway, John, we've got to get on.

They've got to get to work and find some more scenes

and stuff to do, so thanks for letting us use your house.

Thank you for letting us muck up your day. Not at all.

We've had a fabulous time.

At the end of the day I had the most excellent boiled gigot of wether

and I must thank you for that. Well, thank you very much. Slainte!

Slainte! Slainte, as they say.

Meanwhile, back on the river bank...

That was a bit better! Much better.

I've only got a couple of hours to catch a superb salmon for Lady Maclean's lunch.

It shouldn't be any problem, it's just that...

That was quite good, again. Very good!

We'll get the lunch, don't worry. If not, we'll just starve.

A fish is after your fly!

I've got him! Keep the rod up!

How do I...? Wind this in.

Hold that...wind it in.

Watch you get it on the reel.

Right! It's on the reel. Lovely! Don't rush it. That's it...

Let him go quiet, but keep the rod up.

Let him go if he wants to go.

Wind in now.

Very good. I cast that one, too. That's the extraordinary thing.

Oh, he's gone! He's off again.

Well... Keep trying.

That's just my luck, isn't it?

Once encouraged, you just keep on doing it. That was a shame. Yes.

What did I do wrong? Nothing. You just didn't take it very well. You could have taken it better.

Quite impressive, eh? More or less first cast!

I'll have to start all over again. Yes, or Lady Maclean will go hungry.

'Failure is a solitary thing and I was sad to lose the fish,

'and when I took my next one, the crew were filming rare flowers!'

Richard, I've got one!

'I didn't even know the name of the plants.'

We did something that we shouldn't do.

But Lady Maclean's far more important than actually scruples

at the end of the day,

and I'm afraid what we did

was we put a little spinner on.

And in fact we've got one.

So, honour, in fact, is salvaged,

I think, if I can hold it just for the last...

Thank you very much, Peter. Here you are, see?

There's lunch for Lady Maclean.

She'll be very, very pleased with it, I think.

I'm certainly very pleased with me. We never cheat on this programme.

That's one really good thing about it. OK, how heavy is that?

Three or four pounds? It's lovely, about three pounds. Yeah.

It's absolutely fine. OK?

Absolutely fine. Ideal for your cooking.

Following the knocker routine to the letter,

we arrived at the home of Sir Fitzroy and Lady Maclean.

This man caused us a great conflict of interest.

We nearly ditched the cookery programme to make a documentary about Fitz,

who, some say, was Ian Fleming's inspiration for Bond.

The name's Bond, James Bond.

007. British intelligence.

He was good mates with Churchill

and was parachuted into Yugoslavia to find Tito, which he did.

Nowadays, he writes wonderful tales

and probably still has the odd word in the corridors of power.

This is absolutely brilliant! Do you like the little house I've borrowed?

It belongs to a friend of mine

who has a hotel which is smaller than the house she lives in!

We always like to beg, borrow and steal these humble little abodes.

But nothing humble about my efforts today, nothing humble at all.

This is the king of fish. Must make me the king of anglers.

Up here, in May, which it is now,

the rains haven't rained, rivers haven't spated,

the salmon aren't running, but I got one!

I did promise a five-pound one. I hope this will be all right?

It's marvellous!

I didn't believe you'd get one.

I was certain I'd have to take one out of the fridge!

Is it freshly run? Has it got lice on it?

It has...

Well, it's been up for three days. You know about that? Yes.

If a fish comes up the very day,

it has a louse with a streamer on it,

which you just wash off, from the sea.

If it comes up two days,

it has a louse without a streamer. This has been up for three days.

Really beautiful, fresh, wild salmon!

I should say...

Not very big, but all the better.

I like a small salmon better than a big one.

I ought to interrupt there before she takes complete charge!

Lady Veronica Maclean is one of the country's

leading cookery book writers.

She's travelled extensively.

She's the wife of that amazing adventurer, Sir Fitzroy Maclean.

And what she doesn't know about cooking isn't worth printing.

She knows the lot! How shall we cook this salmon?

Well, I've cooked it always like it was always cooked in my home as a child,

on a very great river, much better than the West Coast rivers,

the River Beauly.

We cooked it in a fish kettle,

covered, whatever the size of the fish,

by a finger of water.

Richard! We put it in the fish kettle. Cold water.

Richard, I want you to be particularly good today.

We all know you've won the Glenfiddich Award for being quite a good cameramen

but I want no mucking about.

I want it all covered carefully. That's about a finger of water.

The business of putting a couple of peppercorns,

a bay leaf and a tiny bit of white wine

is all nonsense, but it looks good. That's enough!

Some people say that, if the salmon came out of the sea,

it's best to cook it in sea water,

but I quite often cook it in just plain water.

That's it. No salt?

No, fish don't need salt.

Richard, the lady's speaking. I did ask you to do this properly.

Lady Maclean is talking. Look at her, please!

Do you always wear your hat?

Sorry! It's rather magnificent.

Has it got a Hardy fly in it? It ought to. It's my fishing hat.

Take that, could you? Now we're ready - hatless, but ready.

OK. You've got the lid?

This I love and live by.

It's my glorious 30-year-old cooker.

Put the lid on.

Does it quite fit? It does.

The next thing is that that's in cold water,

and we don't forget it.

The moment it comes to a nice sort of rolling boil...

How long will that be? 20 minutes?

About half an hour. It depends on the heat.

You don't want it on the hottest.

You want it on HOT heat, but not the VERY hottest.

When it comes to the boil,

you literally stand with your watch

and cook it for anything between 1? and three minutes. And that's it!

Then you let it cool in its steam.

Shall we have a wee dram to celebrate? I think so.

And also to welcome us here.

Very nice idea! Why not? Oh, you haven't got one!

A very curious thing about this Scottish lady...

Follow round with the microphone...

..is she doesn't drink that much Scotch whisky.

I do outside. Outside? On the hill.

Inside, I like bourbon.

Cheers to us! Thanks for having me here! Lovely having you.

Here beginneth the first MacLesson.

Lady Maclean's beurre blanc sauce for salmon.

One cup of dry white wine, half a cup of water,

half a cup of chopped shallots,

a tablespoon of good wine vinegar,

salt, pepper, two tablespoons of cream, and eight ounces of butter.

Reduce all the liquids except the butter and cream to almost nothing,

cut the butter into bits and whisk it in, with the cream,

by hand, as her ladyship is doing.

Richard, back on the pot so we can all see what's going on.

It's looking splendid, isn't it?

It's absolutely lovely, Keith!

I couldn't have done it better.

That little salmon was swimming up the river

at half past eight this morning.

It's now quarter to one, and I'm chuffed I caught it!

It didn't take your fly because it was hungry!

It's because they get irritated.

They don't feed at all in a river.

But when they see a fly,

they snap at it just to get rid of it.

I've got a confession to make.

I caught it on a spinner.

My first fish, caught on a fly, I lost.

The second I lost on a fly.

That's very honest!

But I couldn't come empty handed!

I have two sons and one is a very good spinner,

or rather he WIELDS a good spinner!

He always gets results whereas the other one often doesn't!

Shouldn't we go for a walk,

or have a little slurp somewhere and let them get on?

WE'VE had a nice time! I'm pleased.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd