North West Judging Great British Menu

BLEEP!

It's been an intense week on Great British Menu...

BLEEP! That microwave is lethal.

..with two newcomers...

BLEEP!

..technical Chris Holland...

-Nerves of steel.

-Woooo!

..and Heston Blumenthal trained Mary-Ellen McTague...

-Oh

-BLEEP!

-Barley grass, barley grass.

..trying to outwit returning three-time loser, Aiden Byrne.

BLEEP!

The prize - to cook a special banquet

celebrating 25 years of Red Nose Day.

Yesterday's dessert course saw Chris leave the competition...

It's been a pleasure.

..and Aiden receive his lowest score of the week.

-It just wasn't very nice.

-I've scored you a four.

Today Aiden and Mary-Ellen will go head-to-head for the North West.

Fair to say Phil wasn't very complimentary about this dessert.

I think that's the least you could say.

Backstage the judges know they're in for a real battle today.

So, we've got an old hand and a new girl.

What do you think?

I'm thinking four-time Aiden Byrne, that's what I'm thinking!

Making sure the food has wit as well as flavour

is a fourth comedy judge.

Oh, not you again!

This week it's Comic Relief supporter, Rowland Rivron.

What, do you put the whole thing in the washing machine?!

THEY LAUGH

The food must deliver gastronomic excellence...

This is fantastic!

This is a banquet dish.

..and make the judges laugh!

THEY LAUGH

There's only room for one chef in the national final!

Been a couple of tens, but there's also been a five and a four.

Aprons on, Aiden wastes no time showing Mary-Ellen who's boss.

There's not a chance I'm going home today.

I've been in this position far too many times, I'm afraid.

I'm going to cook my socks off. Come on.

This is returning contender Aiden's FOURTH TIME in front

of the judges, so he's under enormous pressure

to go further today.

Going home today without going to that national final

is not an option. Got to knock Mary-Ellen out.

I've never been more determined about anything, this is it.

But cutting-edge rival Mary-Ellen won't be easy to beat.

She has had consistently good scores for her dishes all week.

I am really nervous about today, and it's a really important day.

And, you know, it would be so amazing to get through

to the nationals.

Both chefs have tried to design fun, gastronomic dishes,

inspired by Comic Relief.

Baked Bean Bathtub? That's something that should definitely be kept in the privacy of your own home.

Judges Prue Leith, Matthew Fort and Oliver Peyton aren't only

getting a preview of the chefs' menus,

but also how they went down with veteran Phil Howard during the week.

Aiden - ten and a four!

That's a bit of a gap!

29 and 29, level pegging, that's what I like to see.

It could be one hell of a battle.

This year the judges will be scoring every dish to determine

the winner and for the first time, much to the surprise of the chefs,

the judges are venturing into the kitchen to meet them.

-Surprise!

-Hello.

-You're not supposed to be in here!

-Hi!

-Last time I saw you, I wasn't too happy with you.

Listen, you are like a prize fighter.

It is your fourth time, you keep getting up for more.

How often are you going to do it?

I'm going to convince you that I can win this.

You've only got one obstacle in your way.

OK, we've got a busy day ahead of us.

I think we better get back to the chamber.

-Wow!

-See you later. Good luck.

-Good luck. Nice to see you.

I don't know about you, but that was absolutely petrifying.

Yeah, I wasn't expecting to see them before the end of the day.

They've never done that before.

-Well, crikey, it's tense in there.

-It certainly is.

But there is some great food going on.

Both chefs are well into cooking their starters.

First up is Aiden and his Mad As A Box Of Frogs dish -

a modern take on a French classic

with frogs' legs, parsley and garlic.

Veteran Phil Howard liked the props,

but criticised the size of the dish and its modern garlic gel

and awarded top marks to rival Mary-Ellen.

-Are you changing anything for your starter?

-Yeah, I am.

I'm going to put an extra frog's leg on.

And I'm going to get rid of my garlic gel.

-I'm just going to do a garlic puree.

-Right.

-And all on time?

-I'm pretty sorted, yes.

It's just a case of assembling the plates now.

So, I'm actually going to start, to be honest with you.

But this year, there is a fourth plate for our fourth judge,

who is here to make sure the dishes are witty as well as gastronomic.

Today, it is comedy writer, presenter

and performer Rowland Rivron.

-Rowland, welcome to the judges' chamber.

-Thank you.

We are here to celebrate the phenomenal success

of Comic Relief and to add to it.

-Will there be food included?

-Food's extra.

-I'm looking forward to it.

It is about gastronomy, quality, quality, quality.

-And humour!

-Yes, what is red and white? Pink!

THEY LAUGH

Aiden begins his frogs' legs starter with parsley cubes,

then adds black fermented garlic,

garlic crisps, his deep-fried garlic-coated frogs' legs,

creamed garlic and a drizzle of garlic sauce,

before placing his plates in his special boxes,

with more comedy props on the side.

There you go.

Off you go. Nice and gently, please, guys.

-Oh! Right, that's it, it's out of my hands now.

-It is indeed.

-"Open me first."

-Ah.

I say, Prue, I think that's very becoming.

-One, two, three!

-Synchronized opening.

Wow!

CROAKING

THEY LAUGH

Good Lord, it has been so long since I have been out for meal,

-is this what people do nowadays?

-Yes.

I think it'll definitely put a smile on their faces.

It has to be equal comedy value and gastronomic value.

I really like this.

Frogs' legs are one of my favourite things in the entire world.

-Parsley wafers.

-The flavoured garlic is delicious.

-So, that classic combination of...

-Parsley, garlic and frogs' legs.

It is everywhere that garlic, isn't it?

Prue, don't even think about trying to kiss me now.

At the same time, it doesn't mask the sweetness of the frogs' leg.

-This is really beautifully balanced.

-It's lovely.

-Has he nailed the brief?

-I think so.

-Yeah.

There is something inherently humorous about the idea

of frogs and legs. And now we're the wrong side of this,

are we jumping for joy?

-Oh!

-Well, I think we're...

-No, but I think we're hopping with hope.

-Yes!

Cutting-edge new girl Mary-Ellen is up next,

with her charity fund raising inspired Baked Bean Bath Tub,

with potted crab, baked beans, edible sponge and rubber duck jelly,

a dish that Phil awarded an impressive eight

despite being extremely late to the pass.

Your starter was fantastic, you're not making any changes, are you?

No, just going to be a bit more organised on the plating up.

I think that was your downfall all week, really, wasn't it?

Yeah, it was.

Mary-Ellen soon discovers that this time won't be plain sailing either.

No, it's not.

The siphon for her sponge batter is blocked, and because it is full

of gas, it can't be opened without ruining its contents,

leaving Mary-Ellen with little choice.

I'll have to remake the batter,

which isn't exactly what I need at this point.

-Having problems?

-Yeah. I am on the second batch of better here.

-That's the last thing you need today, isn't it?

-Yeah.

Luckily, Mary-Ellen's second batter comes out OK.

But she is now in a rush to get the rest of her dish done.

Ten minutes to go, how are you feeling?

Sometimes you have just got to run, haven't you?

-BLEEP

-goes wrong.

She adds a layer of beans to her potted crab filled baths

and gets her quirky bathtubs onto her plate,

with her bread sponges and crab bisque rubber duck jelly

in the nick of time.

Oh, it's shaking!

-Four little ducks in a row.

-Yeah!

Happy?

Yeah, I think so.

Why don't you look happy?

-Because...because that was just a

-BLEEP

-fight.

-Welcome to the club.

-Yeah.

Oh!

Look at the duck.

It is adorable, I love the duck.

-This is all too beautiful.

-Isn't it lovely?

I feel like I've accidentally ordered from the kids menu.

I think you have.

I'm just wondering if I did get everything perfect.

So, yeah, it is a scary time.

The rubber duck is incredibly intensely flavoured.

-The sponge...is great.

-It's lovely.

Hang on, there's more in this bathtub than meets the eye.

-It's freezing cold!

-I know, it is freezing cold.

I think the flavours are a little bit too strong.

The flavour of the crab is lost on me.

It is such a pity, because it is so beautifully conceived.

-Yeah.

-And then the crab is overpowered by, I think, mostly salt.

-But the bisque is delicious.

-It's gorgeous.

Guys, but let's not forget the comic element.

-It's really witty what she has done.

-Yes.

I think the presentation is brilliant.

I think it is really funny, I think it is really clever.

It is a duck masquerading as bisque.

Or it's a bisque masquerading as a duck.

I think it takes the bisque-it.

Next, it's the fish course, and Aiden

is using his competition experience to unnerve Mary-Ellen.

It is much harder on this fifth day.

Oh, my God, the pressure is unbelievable.

-It's horrible, isn't it?

-Yeah, it's awful.

It doesn't get any easier, I'm afraid.

First up is Aiden's Culinary Joke -

a modern spin on the prawn cocktail with passion fruit,

horseradish, beetroot and a comedy red nose.

Veteran Phil Howard

wasn't convinced by its flavours,

but scored him an impressive eight for technique and presentation.

That, when I saw those, they really worried me, I have to say.

Hit the nail on the head there.

Hopefully, that's my trump card, then.

HE LAUGHS

He starts his plate with langoustine powder,

then adds some golden beetroot,

passion fruit dressing and baby leaves.

Do you think the judges will like the flavours?

It is a bit of a wild card with regards to flavour, but, you know,

I think it works, so we'll see what happens.

He continues with passion fruit and horseradish gel,

red beetroot, his marinated Sicilian prawns

and his Culinary Joke's crowning glory -

a frozen red sphere of passion fruit juice.

All right, gents, off you go.

Thank you.

One, two, three!

ALL: Whoa!

-Wow!

-Well, that is a few points already.

This is a bit of a prawn cocktail, I do declare.

-And beetroot in the middle.

-And beetroot.

What is beetroot doing there?

I have to tell you, it is truly horrible.

Why's that?

-Sweet and slimy, too many flavours.

-Are we tasting the same dish, Prue?

Come on, listen, try mine because mine is absolutely delicious.

You know, Phil said that he struggled a bit with that

combination of flavours.

I have stuck to that because I believe in it.

-You are just too conventional here. This is amazing!

-I am conventional.

I speak for the conventional old lady.

Oh, Prue, don't tell me it's a denture problem.

I like it. It is slimy,

there is a lot of goo, but it is nice goo.

-And this was a good joke.

-It's interesting, it's comical.

-I think this is a runner.

-I think it is revolting.

This is one of the more unusual fish dishes

we have ever had in this competition.

Cheer up!

Mary-Ellen's fish course is up next and her nerves

are still getting the better of her.

BLEEP!

BLEEP!

-That's about 50 quid's worth of essential oil there.

-Oof!

She is cooking peppermint-cured Dover sole with oyster puddings,

a restaurant dish that was marked down by veteran Phil

for its lack of humour in the week.

How are you feeling about this one?

Don't look too confident.

My approach to this dish was totally different from your approach,

-totally different.

-Yeah.

-Uh...

-Yeah.

Mary-Ellen's biggest mistake on her first attempt was her oyster

suet puddings that need careful cooking.

-So you are doing your puddings again, yeah?

-Yeah.

I nearly died in the tasting room when the pastry was raw.

This was the biggest mess up for me this week.

You certainly don't want to be giving the judges any raw pastry,

do you?

She starts her plate with sea beet, then adds her oyster suet puddings.

-No raw puddings today.

-No raw puddings.

Please, God, no raw puddings.

She continues with her peppermint-cured Dover sole,

sour verjuice jelly, more sea vegetables

and verjuice butter sauce.

OK, so, like that.

-Are you happy with that?

-Yeah.

Oh, look! It's an oyster pie, isn't it?

-You don't eat the rocky bit.

-No?

-No-no.

-Too late, sorry.

The middle is delicious, but the pastry is soggy.

It is such a pity cos it's a great idea.

But I think the fish is absolutely perfect.

It has a lovely density to it, it is nice and meaty.

Obviously, a great deal of skill has gone into the dish.

But I think it is actually quite a conventional dish.

With every single course,

the inspiration was things I associate with raising money.

I'm not there to explain it, though, that's the thing.

I hope they're not sat there going,

"What has this got to do with anything?"

-"Where is the comic element in this dish?"

-Yeah.

Is it suitable for this type of occasion? What would you say, Rowl?

Has this dish made me laugh? No, it hasn't.

As a dish, the conceptual failure about this, if I might be so bold,

is it isn't funny.

This sole has got no rhythm.

It ain't soul food.

Halfway through the courses

and the judges are taking a breather to discuss their scores.

It has been a bit of an up-and-down sort of morning, hasn't it?

Laughter and tears.

What do you mean up and down? I've got a nine!

And I've got a four in there, so some tears.

But I have got them running neck and neck.

I've really not liked a couple of dishes

and I've really loved another couple of dishes.

Time for the main course. Mary-Ellen is up first with her dish -

Our Kid.

She is serving different cuts of goat with

textures of cauliflower and a quirky goat and barley lasagne.

It has got comedy in the name,

but otherwise it is another serious take on the brief.

This fourth judge today, who is there specifically to look

for the comedy element,

which is a bit lacking in two out of my four dishes.

So, that worries me a lot.

Ah! This is where it all happens. Hello. How is it going?

-Pretty good.

-The scoring is going very well.

You can barely get a fag paper between the pair of you.

Just thought I'd let you know. It's very tense in there.

Have we any more humorous stunts?

-Plenty of props for you to see.

-Great stuff.

-I'm off!

-Bye.

-That was a bit of a giveaway there, wasn't it?

-Yeah, it was.

I'm glad he didn't say you could get an elephant between the scores.

That would be worse. Let's hope he likes the main courses.

-Yeah, exactly.

-Or rather let's hope they like my main course.

HE LAUGHS

Mary-Ellen starts her plate off with cauliflower-encrusted goat loin,

then begins to assemble her lasagne with pearl barley at the bottom,

goat milk lasagne sheets, goat shoulder and barley grass.

She then scatters the plate with roasted cauliflower,

dots of cauliflower yogurt and tops it all off with some goat gravy.

OK. Thank you.

It is very intriguing.

I mean, what is that that sort of egg whitey stuff on the top?

It has got a slightly cheesy smell,

so I think that is sort of goat's milk lasagne.

You are not just getting the kid, goat,

you're getting the mother's milk, as well.

-And barley.

-This is delicious.

-Mm.

-This is fabulous food.

The flavour is fantastic.

This is so much more pressure than I thought it would be today.

You've got these dishes you've spent months working on

and in a few hours' time, that could be it.

This is the best bit of cooking we have seen today. It is perfect.

This is fabulous food.

The flavours are fabulous, the way they marry together,

the way they feed off one another. But the brief, humour?

That wasn't very funny.

Well, if this is put down in front of me in a restaurant,

-I'd say, are you kidding me?

-See what you have done there?

You've managed to shoehorn some humour in it.

THEY LAUGH

Next up is Aiden's

prehistoric beef dish,

with comedy noodle pot that received a perfect ten

from two Michelin-starred Phil Howard

earlier in the week.

Are you making any changes to your main course, Aiden?

I don't think I should make any changes, to be honest.

-He gave me a ten out of ten for a reason, you know?

-He did.

Rowland, I have to tell you, Mr Phil Howard, to give a ten

to any dish, it must mean that it has some special quality to it

that no human being has ever encountered before,

-cos he is a tough guy.

-Really?

-You need to free your mind.

-Free your mind.

-I didn't come here to free my mind.

Aiden is hoping to put his losing streak in the competition

behind him, with his long horn beef dish with clay-baked potatoes,

onion-encrusted ox tail and slow-cooked beef cheek.

For me, this dish screams the brief.

It is fun, gastronomic,

got such a wow factor it belongs on that banquet.

Next, the onion consomme for his noodle pot,

horns full of gravy, fossilized salsify,

and last but not least, barbecued beef fillet.

Off you go.

HE SIGHS

-Wow! I feel happy. I feel very happy.

-You should.

-Whoa!

-Oh, my goodness!

THEY LAUGH

It looks like a brontosaurus' graveyard.

HE TOOTS

Fingers crossed they get it, they understand it, they embrace it.

God, I am so relieved that is over.

Look, it is a noodle pot.

These are funny, aren't they?

Oh, look, because, you know, the last time

I had to be able to eat my spaghetti.

Go on then.

This is the best looking dish I think we have ever had

on the Great British Menu.

The salsify there that looks like a stick,

the little potato which looks like a stone...

And they're really good potatoes.

We have got a fillet of beef, we've got beef cheek.

It is a sort of hunter's delight,

-isn't it?

-I think this is beyond delight.

As I was plating up that main course,

the pressure was just off the scale.

But it went out exactly how I wanted it to go out.

This is just outstanding.

I mean, the meat itself is absolutely gorgeous.

The amount of endeavour the chef has put into every single element...

I love it.

And it feels like an event.

I feel like I am an extra on a Flintstones film.

Phil gave this dish ten out of ten, and I think, actually,

he was absolutely right.

But dessert is yet to come, the course that saw Mary-Ellen

catch up with Aiden in the heats.

I am hoping my dessert is going to beat yours, you know.

Do you know what?

As happy as I feel about the main course,

I have got the weakest one to come.

So, it's not over.

Mary-Ellen's Last Laugh is a quirky chamomile,

almond and apricot trifle disguised as a compost heap,

with edible soil and a mandarin and thyme wheelie bin syllabub.

-Sophisticated bin juice?

-Yeah.

It is not your average bin juice, though, it is pretty nice.

Mary-Ellen starts off the trifle with a layer of almond sponge,

soaks it in chamomile liquor and adds some delicate apricot spheres.

-Can I taste that juice again?

-Yeah, go for it.

It is the muscatel

and then I've just let it down with a bit of chamomile tea.

She then places her trifles in chamomile lawn plates

and fills her wheelie bins with mandarin and thyme syllabub,

before finishing off her compost heap trifle with chamomile custard,

toasted flaked almonds and, finally, her edible soil,

made with cocoa powder and powdered almonds.

OK.

Can I have a hug, please?

THEY LAUGH

Well, she has gone one better than the bath, I think.

HE SLURPS

I love the spherifications. I love the sponge. I love the cream.

It is all delicious. This is a beauty.

-I'm glad I finished on that.

-Yeah, of course.

Because that is something that I know I can be proud of.

Absolutely.

This is a very, very, very unusual pudding.

I have never had anything like it. Really well balanced.

A lot of thought and a lot of technical skills gone into this.

I think she has just held back a bit.

It is a bit too polite.

I agree it is polite, in a way,

but I think it is absolutely lovely because it's like an English trifle.

The whole point is that you keep discovering more and more delights

as you go down.

-I think that is lovely.

-I finished mine and do you know what?

I could eat that again. Because I am a pig.

Do you put the whole thing in the washing machine? I mean...

THEY LAUGH

Last up is Aiden and his sweet burger,

a high risk dish that received four points yesterday

and could see him fall at the final hurdle.

It's fair to say Phil wasn't very complimentary

-about this dessert.

-That's the least you could say.

He swapped out the warm panna cotta burger that didn't set properly

for a piece of caramelized pineapple instead.

He needs his dessert to do well today in order to put

the ghosts of his past behind him.

For me, this is the hardest part

because I have never gone past this point.

So I'm actually quite nervous about it. Very nervous about it, in fact.

Do you think it's better than my dessert?

The answer to that is no.

His new pineapple burger goes on to his tray with a cream cheese

slice, lime tuile and sesame savarine bun.

And last but not least, his pineapple ice cream chips.

Yeah, that's fine. Just so they're both the same.

OK.

Cool.

Done now. All done.

Just have to wait and see what they say.

We haven't got a pudding here, we've got another first course.

-Has it put a smile on your face?

-Absolutely.

What are the chips made of?

-They are made of coconut.

-Oh!

-Delicious.

It is a delight.

Probably a six now, not a four. It's much better than yesterday.

The burger... He has done it, he's got the cheese, he's got the meat.

You have to give him a ten out of ten for trying.

Really, I think it is a bit too sweet though.

I'm feeling positively light-headed now with all the sugar.

I got a sugar rush.

It looked great, but once you start eating it, it was very, very sweet.

You have to go and have a lie down, wouldn't you, after eating it?

Today has been very, very, very intense.

If I am standing in front of the judges and they call out my name,

I will be a very, very happy man.

-What do you think, Matthew?

-Well...

Actually, the flavours tend to sort of confuse one another.

There's too much going on.

Cooking complete, all the chefs can do is wait

while the judges consider their final scores.

Are you feeling the pressure here?

Ever so slightly one feels one's is playing with someone's life.

I have always been sent home as a loser.

Nobody comes back four times and is not desperate to win.

Aiden has incorporated witty props this year to meet the Comic Relief

brief and used big, bold flavours to surprise and delight.

-The beef?

-I loved the beef.

-You didn't like it that much.

-I did!

Well, I loved the kid, too.

It is a pretty nerve-racking time, just feeling pretty apprehensive.

Mary-Ellen has relied on quirky presentation

and unusual flavour combinations to raise a smile

and focused on the serious part of the brief

as well as the funny side.

-Well, we have done the arithmetic.

-We better get them in.

Aiden, it is like welcoming back an old friend here.

Fourth time.

Do you feel sort of reasonably confident this year?

I feel confident every year, Matthew,

but it doesn't seem to happen, unfortunately.

-And Mary-Ellen?

-It has been really tough, actually.

Much higher pressure than I imagined it would be.

I think you both nailed it to a greater or lesser extent.

There have been a couple of tens, which as Aiden knows,

is an unusual score for us to give,

but there also has been a five and a four.

Anyway, it is a competition

and there can only be one winner.

And the winner is...

..Aiden.

Ah!

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

I never thought I'd be giving you a hug.

Can I have one, please?

Well done.

Well, Aiden...

For me it was the long horn beef dish that really nailed it.

I mean, that was a tremendous theatrical appearance.

-Thank you very much.

-How are you feeling, Aiden?

Elated, relieved and very proud.

But actually, Mary-Ellen, you have an enormous amount to celebrate as well.

I mean, that kid, the milk and the meat and the barley

and the barley grass,

it just was a magic thing to eat.

Thank you.

Aiden, I look forward to seeing you in the final, where you know

things will get even tougher than they have been over the last week.

Really, congratulations to you both.

BOTH: Thank you.

I'm...delighted for Aiden.

-Really happy for him.

-I've done it.

SCREAMING

I think it has gone the right way.

I just...I don't...I don't...

I still don't believe it, yeah.

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