Northern Ireland Judging Great British Menu

It's D-Day on Great British Menu for the Northern Irish chefs.

-Come on, Ray.

-I'm only having a laugh!

This week has been a gastronomic battle between returning

banquet winner Chris Fearon, his old boss Raymond McCardle...

The master and the apprentice.

..and rising star Ian Orr.

For the chance to cook at a special banquet,

celebrating 25 years of Red Nose Day.

Yesterday's dessert course saw the competitions first ever draw.

So, chefs, a tie breaker.

And it was Ian who said goodbye.

-Well done, boys.

-What an experience.

Today Chris and Raymond will face off for the final showdown.

-I know the name of the game, big boy.

-Big trees, easy falls.

Backstage, the judges are expecting culinary entertainment.

I always love it when the Irishmen come.

To make sure the food has wit as well as flavour,

is Fast Show comedian,

author and Comic Relief supporter Charlie Higson.

Not trying to put any pressure on you.

But you've got two minutes to get that on a plate.

Come on, two minutes now.

The food must deliver gastronomic excellence.

Witty and delicious.

And make the judges laugh.

Nobody steals my pastry.

Only one chef can represent

Northern Ireland at the national finals.

The winner is...

It's returning contender Chris's third time

in front of the judges and his former boss Raymond's first.

Both chefs are refusing to show any signs of weakness.

You ready for this? Ready for battle? D-Day!

-Well, Friday anyway.

-It's my third time here.

I know the name of the game, big boy.

-I know how to walk the walk.

-Well, big trees, easy falls.

Former regional champion Chris has previously both succeeded

and failed to get his dishes through to the banquet.

You know, I've been up against bigger,

harder chefs than Raymond before.

I've been to the final twice before.

I'm really determined to get there again.

I'm not here to waste anybody's time. I'm here to do a job.

But experienced chef Raymond has got his eye on the prize

and won't go down without a fight.

I intend to put my best foot forward.

I also intend to get past Chris.

Judges Prue Leith, Oliver Peyton

and Matthew Fort are browsing today's menus.

Our old friend Chris is back again.

We didn't see him at the banquet last year, did we?

No, I think his ego run amok last year.

He might be feeling a bit contrite this year.

He'll be desperate to get through again. I'm sure he'll do well.

-Raymond McArdle, what do we know about him?

-I think he's new blood.

I hope he's not going to put a red nose on the Titanic.

-But it is tongue in cheek, Oliver.

-Not very funny though.

In the kitchen, Chris reflects on his previous disappointment.

I didn't get through to the banquet last year.

I got through to the finals. It was tough, you know.

I'd like to get there, maybe have a go at it again.

-You've got to get past me first.

-I know. I'm shaking in my boots here.

But you know, third time is the charm.

-Irish charm, Chris.

-Irish charm. Aye, I've got bags of that.

-So have you.

-You definitely do.

-The two of us are charismatic Irishmen.

Must be a County Down thing, swagger.

The chefs have to seriously focus on executing each course

to perfection,

as the judges will be scoring every dish to decide the winner.

-Hello, chefs.

-Hello!

I didn't expect to see you guys in here.

We have to keep a check on what you are up to.

You didn't make it last year, did you, Chris?

HE LAUGHS

-I didn't perform to the best of my ability, Oliver, I think.

-Right.

I'm going to put that right, hopefully, this year.

-Raymond, are you going to give him a run for his money?

-All the way.

It's good to be here, up against the professional here.

HE LAUGHS

I know, there's a first for everything, isn't there?

OK, I think we better leave you to serious business of

making funny food.

-Good luck.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

They definitely mean business. Matthew was tasting the soup.

-He sort of put the nerves into me.

-It's daunting, isn't it?

-It's always daunting.

-But listen, good luck.

-Thanks.

-That's important.

-You'll need it.

-Irish luck.

Irish luck. BLEEP! You should work for Northern Ireland Tourism.

Why don't you get dressed up in a big leprechaun suit today?

Whatever.

I think there's a huge amount of tension there. You can sense it.

You can see the completely different characters.

I think it's more the Rumble in the Jungle

than a twitching in the kitchen.

Both chefs are serving soups for their first courses

and earlier in the week Raymond scored one point more

than Chris for his starter.

Black truffle and wild mushroom veloute, with bacon cream,

served as a glass of stout.

-Nervous?

-No.

-You're not nervous?

-Not yet.

It's my third time doing it, yeah, and I'm nervous.

I think it's good to have nerves. It keeps you on your toes.

You know what I mean, chief?

If you're self motivated, you don't need nerves.

You must be reading those self-confidence books, are you, yeah?

-Yeah, I bought four of them.

-Good, good.

This year there's even more pressure on the chefs, in the form

of a fourth judge and this week it's comedian and author Charlie Higson.

Hi, Charlie, and welcome to the judges' chamber.

Ooh, the judges' chamber.

Does that mean we get to sentence them to death

if the food is inedible?

-You brought your black cap.

-Yes!

Raymond's soup is the first under scrutiny.

Christopher, I made a few adjustments to Glyn's comments.

Lovely.

Before he serves up, he gets rival Chris's opinion.

Do you think it's more bacony?

Bacony enough.

-Is it hitting those bacony notes?

-Is that Richard?

I hope for your sake it does!

RAYMOND LAUGHS

Raymond puts his wheaten bread rolls into sacks.

He fills his glasses with the black truffle

and mushroom veloute, tops with bacon foam,

and serves the remaining soup in his custom made stout bottles.

Finishing with a sprinkling of bacon and wild rice crumble.

Very good.

Drink!

Do you think the judges will think that will fit the brief?

You can see the comical side of that without having to explain it.

You know what, that is really witty.

I thought, ah, drink at last.

But I have a terrible fear there is no alcohol involved.

I was hoping to get smashed quite early on.

Do you think the judges will like my take on Irish Stout?

I definitely think Matthew will love that.

-Yeah?

-Definitely. It will be right up his street.

You've got that sort of soft creaminess against the lip

of the top.

And then that really beautifully flavoured veloute.

Truffles and veloute, this must be very usual stuff for a comedian.

Well, this is what I normally have for breakfast.

-Truffles on my cornflakes.

-Right.

I'm always saying things are too salty.

These two guys are always saying they are not salty enough.

And I think this amount of bacon on the top is just right,

because it gives you a little salty kick.

HE LAUGHS You and salt!

It's nice to see you coming over to the side of the angels at long last.

I think that was great.

Witty and delicious. What more do we want?

Former regional champion Chris is up next with his soup.

A fragrant broth with a pork, prawn and scallop dumpling, served

in a comedy piggy bank, with coin shaped pork scratchings on the side.

Earlier in the week,

veteran Glyn Purnell thought that the soup was under seasoned.

It was a bit bland in the heats.

Don't worry about my food being bland, big boy.

Just worry about your own being bland, yeah?

To try to achieve a richer flavour, Chris has reduced his consomme.

-That's totally different.

-I thought is was all right yesterday.

I don't want it too BLEEP salty, you know.

Chris seasons his pork scratchings with his bacon salt

and puts them in sackcloth bags.

Got a wee taste of Chris' soup.

It's a consomme and he's really got it well reduced today.

So it's salty. I would be a wee bit worried about it.

He places his quirky piggybanks on the pass,

adds his chargrilled scallops, mushrooms, steamed dumplings

and langoustine tails.

-Like the old days.

-Like the old days, yeah.

And finishes with the soup.

Yeah go, go, go!

I'm quite excited by these. I'm intrigued.

Yes, are these posh pork scratchings?

-These are posh pork scratchings.

-They are delicious.

-Will the judges see the brief?

-Yeah, come on, Raymond.

-I think it's staring you in the face, isn't it?

-Big pig.

You know, the pig is laughing at you, you know what I mean? Oink, oink.

I think the pig and the fish, I don't understand where that

pig and fish thing is going at all.

I reduced the stock. Worked on the seasoning a bit better.

It looked as good as what you put up, only more reduced.

I'm interested on your view on the consomme.

You know what I'm going to say.

-I think you know what I'm going to say.

-I think I'm with you.

It is very salty.

It is actually too salty, even for me.

And as for the little dumplings, I mean it's got...

-HE COUGHS

-Crikey Almighty!

-Do you think you got the salt levels right?

-Yeah, definitely.

I was much happier with it today, man.

You know what, he can't have tasted this dish.

If he'd tasted that consomme, he would not have sent it out.

It's awful. It really is quite...it's inedible.

The pork itself is really good quality meat. It's a tragedy.

When I tasted it out there in the kitchen, it was beautiful.

It was just perfectly balanced. It was not too intense.

And he certainly hasn't over seasoned it.

Maybe it was Raymond what done it!

Experienced chef Raymond is hoping to nail his fish course today.

Aptly named A Day At The Beach featuring a tail of turbot,

complete with marine life, seaweed and oil slicks.

He's hoping to improve on the low five he scored for it

earlier in the week.

Cooking of the fish looks a lot better this time.

Yeah, I pushed it on a few degrees on the water bath as well.

Raymond brushes the plate with crab bisque and dots on toasted quinoa.

Next, cockles, mussels, winkles and crab claws.

Followed by seaweed and sea spaghetti.

And the tail of turbot is laid across the plate.

It looks good, man.

With time ticking, Raymond adds his oil slicks made of fish sauce,

rapeseed and dill oil.

-Ray, you're seven minutes late. Are you all right?

-Yes, perfect.

Will the temperature of the fish be all right?

And finally, a creamy dill sauce is served on the side.

OK, lads.

It certainly looks a bit like a beach.

- Great looking use of fish.

I think the whole thing looks really, really good.

I think it was totally polished.

I think they are really going to enjoy it.

I have never liked seaweed in any shape or form.

And this one, let me tell you, is utterly delicious.

The sauce is absolutely delicious.

Bit of cream there to give it the luxury.

Seven and a half minutes, long time for the judges to be waiting on you.

Are you sure they are going to be OK with that?

I know, but everything that's good is worth waiting on.

-I understand that but, you know...

-I'm not concerned.

My only concern here is that we've been waiting here a long time.

Some of the ingredients here are cold.

I was wondering, is it supposed to be cold?

The shellfish is absolutely stone cold.

I think this must be an English day at the beach

-where it's just too cold.

-THEY ALL LAUGH

Chris is hoping to laugh his way to the banquet

with his fish course, Stitched Up Like A Kipper.

Featuring mackerel stuffed with curry spiced pilaff,

and a mini scotch egg of quail egg wrapped in haddock paste.

Served in an elaborate rock pool presentation, complete with

fishing rods, that really did stitch him up earlier in the week

when he scored a disappointing four.

You may have got carried away with the whole prop theme.

The egg was overcooked, the fish was overcooked.

How's the Scotch eggs? Are they going to be soft in the centre?

Yes, they were sitting there for ten minutes the last time.

I suppose the difference between a good chef

and a great chef is 30 seconds.

-That's correct, chief.

-That's what they say.

-So they say.

Chris fries his stuffed mackerel fillets.

He deep fries his quail eggs wrapped in haddock paste,

and arranges his almond and fennel salad on the plate.

Oh, come on, Ray. BLEEP off, yeah.

I'm only having a laugh. It's Comic Relief!

He puts his fish in the nets and attaches his fishing rods.

And finally serves his mini scotch eggs.

OK.

THEY LAUGH

Wow.

-That looked great, Christopher.

-It looked the way it's supposed to.

I thought the nets worked out for me really well. The wee bags.

I always like to have a catch guaranteed.

This smells absolutely delicious, whatever is in here.

-Lot of big flavours here.

-Very clean, well defined flavours.

It is delicious.

Hopefully, everything works out well.

I dropped a Scotch egg on the floor and it was runny. So happy days.

THEY LAUGH

He's very cleverly got the little quails' egg yolk. It's still runny.

Oh, yeah! Brilliant!

-This is delicious, original, and everybody would like this.

-Yeah.

I think the fennel salad is a bit disappointing.

Other than that, I think that if I was coming down to this banquet,

I'd be perfectly happy to see that.

I think people would have a good time seeing it.

I think certainly the more childish elements at the banquet

would have hours of fun.

Sorry, Dad.

THEY ALL LAUGH

With two courses down, the judges are reflecting on the food

so far and discuss their scores.

This morning has been really good. I mean, I did give one dish a four.

And I do think Chris still has a mountain to climb.

He started with an absolutely disastrous dish, it's true.

But I think he's climbing back up. I hope that the best is yet to come.

Time for the main course.

Earlier in the week, Chris caught up with Raymond

on the scoreboard in this round,

when he was awarded a nine and Raymond was given a seven.

You got a nine in the main so that's quite worrying, you know.

Because it was better than yours, mate. It would make me worry too...

-I'm not worried.

-You should be.

-It's a different set of judges.

Chris is up first with his comic book inspired

cowboy pie of beef cheeks and ceps, with BBQ beans and sweet corn.

It hit the mark for gastronomy and comedy first time around,

and it's the fun side of the brief that fourth judge

Charlie Higson is keeping a close eye on today.

-All right? Hello.

-You having fun out here?

As much as we can, yes.

I gather that one of you used to work for the other.

I used to work for Raymond when I was a child.

So there must be quite an intense, bitter rivalry here.

-Aw...

-He's like the Jedi master and you're...

No, he's the dark Sith. And I'm like Luke Skywalker.

So it's all smiles back here between the two of you?

Because we've had some quite high scores, and we have had a four.

Not trying to put any pressure on you.

But you've got two minutes to get that on a plate.

Come on, two minutes now!

-Alarm bells are ringing, eh? A four!

-Certainly makes me nervous.

You know, you think you're rocking,

you think you're happy with everything.

Chris, in all sincerity, I really hope it's you that got the four.

Having assembled and baked his pie of beef cheeks,

ceps and braised onions, Chris puts his BBQ beans into tins.

To prepare his flaming camp fire surprise, he tops his grilled

sweetcorn with hay and pours his sweet and spicy butter into jugs.

He adds his final comedy touch...

Horns. Knife. OK.

..and with the judges suitably attired,

the cowboys head to the chamber.

PRUE LAUGHS That's brilliant!

-Did you see the sight of them going out?

-Yeah.

-Brilliant!

-Yeah.

THEY LAUGH

Is there a reason that's next to me?

THEY LAUGH

Heavens!

I have a feeling this is going to be high on the comedy side

and low on the gastronomy.

The pie looked fantastic. The beans were perfect.

The beer was ready to rock 'n' roll. What else do you need?

I have to say, it smells delicious.

I think I might be eating my words about this.

This pie is a triumph, honestly. The meat is really delicious.

The pastry is perfect. That sauce is delicious.

It should be soup it's so good.

-I can see this going down terribly well.

-It's just what we want.

It's funny, it tastes delicious, it takes a lot of skill to do it.

It's a triumph.

I do like a proper pie.

I'm tempted to give you a bit of the soggy stuff at the bottom.

It tastes fantastic.

Look at him, he's come steaming in and taken my pastry.

Charlie, if you don't mind my saying,

it's not a very cowboy remark.

Well, if I was a cowboy, I'd shoot you.

Exactly, I think they would go for you.

Nobody steals my pastry!

Raymond's main course is a technical dish of smoked venison,

sweetbreads and tongue and cheek pie,

which pays homage to the Titanic with its smoky presentation.

I just don't see the humour in it.

I can definitely see the wow factor in it.

But I just don't see how it's funny, or where the joke is in it.

So is everything meant to make you squeal, laugh?

No, but that's what the whole thing's about this year.

-Otherwise, what's the point?

-It said, "make you smile" or "humorous."

Raymond puts his venison loin into his Titanic smoker.

He dresses his plate with honeycomb, carrot and cumin puree

and tops with his sweetbread stuffed carrots.

He adds his tongue and cheek pie and spoons on his pickled damsons.

You've got to go really fast here.

And finally, the Titanic sets sail to the judges' chamber.

Yeah, this side looks better.

PRUE LAUGHS

Oh, that's beautiful.

Goodness!

It looked amazing going out, man.

Do you think they're going to find the humorous side of that?

Yeah, I think so. I think they're going to be surprised it's a smoker.

Titanic.

Well, that's a great theme for Comic Relief, the Titanic,

one of the funniest episodes in history where hundreds of women

and children died a hideous, freezing death.

Stop. Stop that.

I think this is about shipbuilding in Northern Ireland.

Yeah, the Titanic was a great advert for that after all.

I think they're going to love the smoker.

An actual hot smoker with coal in it.

This meat is so over smoked I can't tell what it is.

All I'm getting is the smoked flavour.

That notwithstanding, I don't understand the dish.

- I like the inside of the pie.

- Inside of the pie is good.

There are a lot of flavours here which don't seem to have

a reason to be together.

I must say, I find it slightly weird that the Raymond McArdle

that cooked the very first dish of the day, cooked this one.

I think we can safely say this is not any good. It's not gastronomy.

It has no connection to the Titanic. And the Titanic is a bad idea.

So otherwise, it's fine.

Back in the kitchen,

Chris has lots of elements to bring together for his dessert.

A deconstructed black forest gateau of chocolate

and cherry flavours, with a frozen surprise in the centre

and a witty nod to the famous Tommy Cooper catchphrase.

Just like that.

A dish that got him past Ray on the scoreboard

when he was awarded a seven.

Chris adds swipes of cherry granola to the plate

and pipes on his chocolate mousse.

You sticking with the presentation even though Glyn thought it

was a wee bit messy?

Yeah, it's supposed to be about a performance on a plate.

Yeah, quite arty, isn't it?

Next he adds his cherry doughnuts

and carefully spoons on his cherry compote.

Then he decorates with chocolate sponge discs, cherry sorbet

and meringue sticks.

Right, left, I'm following right behind you. Thank you.

The plates leave the pass, but Chris has

insisted on serving his final surprise at the very last minute.

Finally he adds his chocolate mousse, frozen in liquid nitrogen.

Oh, goodness me! Smoky stuff.

WAITERS: Just like that!

THE JUDGES LAUGH

Well done, boys.

I have to say, that looks a right mess.

I think the presentation tends to be a bit messy with that kind of food.

Maybe it's meant to be like that.

-This, I don't think is a good idea.

-Yes.

-That is delicious!

-The frozen thing in the middle is amazing.

I would have been happy with just a big

plate of the stuff in the middle.

I'm going to agree with you

because I think the rest of it is the emperor's new clothes. Bits and bobs.

Maybe I would have added a vanilla custard to break up the very

rich flavours of cherry and chocolate.

The cherry is too powerful. Overwhelming.

What's it supposed to be? Am I missing a gag there?

I think it was a bit of a Jackson Pollock of a dish.

It was sort of splattered onto the plate.

Rather than a carefully constructed piece of pudding work.

-So are we agreed it's a load of old pollocks then?

-We are.

Raymond's last laugh is an erupting volcano of orange puree

at the heart of rocky textures and chocolate and orange flavours,

served with sheep's milk ice cream.

A dish which scored just six points yesterday when the citric acid

didn't dissolve, causing the orange eruption to fail.

Today he can't afford to make the same mistakes.

So, Ray, this is the different mix to activate the volcano?

-What have you done differently?

-I took out the citric acid.

I just thought it was too offensive.

-That sherbet, is it?

-Yes, it's sherbet.

So it's going to go out into the room and hit this.

And it's going to just keep coming up.

-Yeah, I see it now. It's good, isn't it?

-I've tested it a few times today.

With his glucose tube, the heart of the volcano,

carefully placed into the centre of the chocolate mousse base,

Raymond adds his rocky textures of chocolate, coconut and cream rocks

and chocolate caramel popcorn.

Next he carefully adds his sherbet mixture,

and at the last minute he makes another change to his orange puree.

Phil, can you get me a saucepan? I'm going to thicken it.

Once thickened, he pours the puree into jugs, and finally,

he adds the sheep's milk ice cream to the plate.

OK, guys, I want you to fill the tube very skilfully.

-That's a bit disappointing!

-Is that it?!

Volcanoes don't always go off, do they?

This one clearly didn't.

This looks great!

Although I'm rather disappointed by the absence of pyrotechnic

effects, I love the texture.

It's soft and creamy.

-It looked like fun.

-It was definitely fun to make.

I think they're going to like it.

This is very good ice cream. It's rich and light.

How he does that, I don't know.

The only thing I don't think it needed was

chunks of unreconstructed chocolate.

I'm in the love department on this. I like it. It's very elegant.

It looks so well, I hope everything works out for you.

Yeah, I worked very hard on it today and I think I got the right formula.

The only thing about this pudding, if the whole fizz-up volcano

doesn't work, you end up eating the powder and that is truly disgusting.

It is.

It's just a technical fault.

If that had erupted out, it would have been absolutely amazing.

This is a very, very good pudding.

It was great. It was a little bit like, it's your last big gag

and it doesn't work and no-one laughs.

This pudding will erupt one day!

As the Mayor of Pompeii said.

Cooking complete, all the chefs can do is wait

while the judges consider their final scores.

I found the scoring extraordinary today. I went from a ten to a four.

Up one moment, crashing down the next.

My head is spinning.

Chris has tried hard to impress the judges

and whip up some laughs for Comic Relief with witty, fun

presentation to compliment his serious cooking.

They were both very variable, weren't they,

-which is a little bit...

-Worrying.

-..concerning, yes.

In the hope of raising a smile at the Comic Relief banquet,

Raymond has taken inspiration from the produce and landscape of Ireland

and shown a true determination

to fulfil both the comedy and gastronomic sides of the brief.

Well, I bet you Chris is worried. He must know it's close.

If it wins on points, it wins on points.

Welcome, chefs.

I have to say, you look a bit exhausted. Has it been a tough week?

Tough wouldn't be the word for it.

It's the hardest week since I've been in the programme.

And, Raymond, this is the first time for you. How are you feeling?

Confident?

I think at the start of the week, I under estimated it.

And yesterday I got a real slap. I think it was the slap I needed.

It really kicked me into gear, as it should.

Well, you know, it's been such a rollercoaster day.

You both made an outstanding dish each.

And you both had one dish that really didn't work at all.

So our scores have gone from four through to ten.

I guess you quite want to know who won.

Right, well, the winner...

Is...

Raymond.

RAYMOND GASPS

Well done, Ray.

Well done.

I just can't even describe it.

It's quite emotional.

You got off to a racing start with the stout.

Once I got over my bitter disappointment it wasn't

actually the real thing,

I found it slipped down just as easily.

Chris, I want to talk about your pie.

I gave that a ten.

I thought it was the outstanding dish of the week.

I thought it was faultless.

That dish was absolutely amazing. It was great.

But I'm going to talk piggybank with you.

Because, you know, we literally couldn't eat it.

That lost you the competition.

I lost points because it wasn't seasoned enough. It just got to me.

And then, yeah, I probably got carried away with the salt.

That's what blew it for you.

Chris, commiserations. I mean, you were this close.

-That's OK.

-It must feel not too good.

It's OK. Somebody has to lose and there is no better man to lose to.

Thank you very much. We had a great day.

BOTH: Thank you.

Oh, man.

Wow.

-Yay.

-Here. Here's a proper pint. Well done.

Listen, seriously, all jokes aside, well done. You deserve it.

Up the Irish.

Cheers.

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