03/07/2011 Something for the Weekend


Live cooking, the best of the week's TV and celebrity chat. Tim Lovejoy, Amanda Byram and chef Simon Rimmer are joined by comedian Danny Wallace and soul diva Beverley Knight.

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Good morning. It's 10 o'clock and Amanda is back here in the hot seat


standing in for Louise. It is quite hot, actually. We need the air con


on. Our first guest is author, producer, comedian, actor and the


King of lovely, Danny Wallace. Hello! We shoulda, woulda, coulda


and we actually dida, the Queen of British soul will join us, it's


Beverley Knight. And they are here to do some cocktails and cook for


you Andrew this week's telly. This is Something for the Weekend.


Good morning. Welcome to Something for the Weekend. Great to have you


back. We've got microphone problems? My levels were off. Story


of my life. How have you been? Really good. I had an amazing June.


I've been on holidays, or you say, hollibobs. I've been to Paris and


Ibiza. I believe Louise is on her holidays this week. Before the show


you were eating salmon and cucumber, which made us laugh, because you


are super-ing a detox? Ibiza left me a broken woman. It was pretty


intense. I came home and thought, I'm going to clean myself. Have a


wash, yeah. And did you feel better for your detox? Don't I look better,


Simon! Tim and I were just saying that. I was at Glastonbury last


weekend. How was that? The best thing I saw was the sun, when it


came up on the Saturday. I was that deep in mud but it was brilliant.


Did you glamp or camp? Neither! didn't hotel it, did you? Such a


ziv va. No, I didn't hotel it. I stayed in a house. A house! It was


good fun in my house. Who were your favourite snacks Yesterday we went


to the tennis. Thanks for the invite, by the way. We scoured the


souvenir shop to get you most expensive thing we could find.


God, here we go. Oh, you went to Wimbledon and that's all you


brought me back? It was fantastic. It was really, really good. Shar


sharp, was she grunting? Sharapova, was she grunting? It is


not as bad in real life. Why does she do it? To make sure they don't


hold their breath when they hit. We are joined by the soulful Beverley


Knight, here to talk about her new album of classic covers, her MBE


and 17 years of success. I will never be able to look at you same


way again, Tim. We have commandian and celebrity clomnust Danny


Wallace, who will be able to tell - - clom nist Danny Wallace, who will


be able to tell us about his amazing new programme. E-mail or


tweet us and we'll ask your questions. What's happening in the


kitchen today? Have you been doing raw juice? Yeah, juices and raw


food. That's what I have most days. Nuts, ham and apple. And water.


water. Ham is cooked. I'll explain it later, Tim, don't worry.? Well,


in the real world what we were cooking today, we start with a


baked paella salad. Think rice and add acidity in it, bizarrely adding


Viking tore the rice gives it a -- adding vinegar to the rice gives it


a delicious flavour. The main course is a lamb meat loaf. Meat


loaf is much maligned. Over here we tend not to eat it much, but it is


gorgeous. Delicious, loads of meat and lots of flavour. Really good


for a detox. I would like to acknowledge Julia Bradbury for her


recipe for loukoumades. It is doughnuts basically, with yoghurt


and honey. How but get that recipe? It is her nan's recipe and I've


stolen it. And finally a declucks fish finger sandwich, salmon, and


making our own tartare sauce. You can't do poncy bread. You need


thick, sliced white. How are you getting away with doing that?


magnificent. Everyone will send you pictures of that next week.


Sandwich spread? Why don't we make that? What is it, mayonnaise?


Mayonnaise, chopped gherkins. what's that other stuff we ate as


kids? Toast Toppers. That's way, way before my time. All our recipes


are on our website - bbc.co.uk/somethingfortheweekend.


Here's some other stuff happening on the show today. Damien Lewis


struggles against the child traffickers in Stolen.


It is bedsit bedlam in comedy Him And Her. And we get down with the


songwriters in LA's Troubador club. We had a great time. It was


terrific. Looking forward to all of that and


especially to Wayne Collins's cocktails. Your detox is over.


Tomorrow is American Independence Day, so we've got two but bon


drinks and a cherry-infused but bon to try. Sounds cool. Before we


to try. Sounds cool. Before we drink we've got to cook. We were


making a paella salad. Paprika, turmeric, garlic and son on.


Watercress, stock, cherry tomatoes, peas, parsley, artichokes, good


Spanish extra Virgin olive oil and sherry vinegar. Slice that down the


middle, cut side down on the board and slice. Don't confuse me. Cut-


side down. We don't want half moons. This way, as fine as you can get it.


Tim, you can finely slice the garlic. Do you want to swap?


always stinks of garlic. You said that and people believe it.


fish fingers later. An awful smelly finger you've got. One of the


things I noticed yesterday, there are so many different types of food,


it did make me think of our Olympic stand when we have our hutch at the


Olympics. Are you really going to do that? Yeah, we haven't got any


tickets, it's the only way we can get in. We thought about names for


the stalls. I was taking my inspiration for a stall, a salad


bar, The Only Way Is Lettuce. Or if we did a beef jerky stall, we could


do Jerky Shors. I see what you did there. Did you watch these


programmes? Never. I can't stand those. I do like the Kardashians.


They all look the same. The mum looks the same age as the


granddaughter. Why don't you call your stand wolverine or Joy...


don't know, do you? No, I don't. I'm doing well here. Well done! In


goes the onions... Thanks, dad! Cook this for a few minutes.


Ideally cook this slowly for five or six minutes to get the sweetness


from the onion and the garlic. I deliberately sliced the garlic


rather than crushed it. I like it as an ingredient rather than a


flavouring. If you crush garlic it gets through everything. If you


slice it, straight away you can smell the garlic begins the cook


rather than permeate through the on yofpbltmuck in the paella rice and


-- through the onion. Chuck in the paella rice. Valencia is the centre


of paella rice production. You see them harvesting rice from the paddy


fields. It is surreal. You don't think you would see that in Europe.


I like paella. Is that how you say it? Paeya-yaaah! Is that just a


sound? One long sill billion. joy for me of paella ovaries Otto


is once we've stirred it round a bit, we are using veggie stock,


then turn it down to a simmer. Bake for 20 minutes. None of this adding


liquid all the time. No stirring around. It is dead easy. This is a


basic paella. There is no fish or veg glis there, purely on --


veggies in there, purely onion. Nice flavour, delicious. Amanda,


halve... What does it feel like eating food like that after your


diet, amazing? Are detox diets good for you? They are. You've got to


give your system a break. From what? From the old routine. How do


they cleanse new I'm not sure. body is very efficient as a piece


of machinery. Remember they say there is meat hanging round in you


for ten years? It is Frew! Our intestines a complex object. Well


if there is stuff hanging around in you, go for a run, do star jumps,


that's what I do. There are so many toxins in the air today that we


didn't have many years ago. The cavemen didn't have. Have what?


these toxins. How do you know that? They told me... In my dreams.


they only lived until 12. Are you doing the caveman diet? No, what is


that? Is it just meat? Anything you would eat if you were a caveman.


Dinosaurs... And I've got a personal trainer. I'm going all out.


A personal trainer, have you really? How are you getting on with


your personal trainer? Great. Mine's really good. What do you do


with your personal trainer? He's brilliant, Nick. I don't think he


likes me very much. Y because you are lazy? He makes me do things I


don't want to do, and I'm sore the next day. Star jump stphrs Lots of


running and -- star jumps, lots of running, all of that. We'll write a


book soon. Detox the star jump way. Right, we've got the rice. All


these ingredients we are adding separately and we bake it together.


Add a little sherry vinegar into there and a good glug of Spanish


extra Virgin olive oil. Sprinkle salt and pepper. Add the cherry


tomatoes, peas, artichokes. Tim, chuck in the parsley and Amanda


stir it round. Now the rice is cooked and it is open, the way it


is soft. That does smell really good. All of a sudden you get that


lovely smell and the acidity goes into the rice. You change the way


the rice behaves. Rather than it being stodgey and sweet and dry,


now you've got a lovely, delicious, and look at the colours in this.


You could add whatever you want. Chilled prawns in there would be


lovely. Chorizo would be delicious. I'm layering this with watercress.


I think this is nice to do as one big bowlful really. You are making


sure you are allowing juice to come out. A touch more of that. Finally


a bite of that. You've got the pepperyness in there. One of the


things about it is making sure you've got good ingredients


organisation so good sherry vinegar and olive oil. That's really


delicious. Very fresh. It is bizarre how a bit of vinegar on


Main course? It won't be your cup of tea, it's a lamb meatloaf,


hearty American. I am back on the meat again. As Ulster, you can get


all -- as always, you can get all of today's recipes on our website.


Now a preview of a beautifully directed programme on the subject


of child trafficking, this is Hello, this is Rosemary. Come in.


I will show you where you will be sleeping. You must be very tired.


Do you want to follow me. Come on. Keisha. What. This is Rosemary.


She's going to be staying with us for a couple of days. Another one.


When Rosemary is in the house I always want the doors locked. I


want all phones out of sight at all times. She's my only link to the


trafficker and I do not want to lose her. Then put a policeman on


the door. As far as security goes You can catch Stolen starring


Damien Lewis tonight at 9.00pm on BBC1 and BBC1 HD. Our first guest


has released his best selling books, written blockbuster movies,


presented TV shows and even tried to represent the UK at the


Eurovision Song Contest. Not busy A man of very many talents, clearly.


Welcome Danny Wallace. It's about time my music was broadcast to a


wider audience. I am pleased, at last. Did you get nil points?


went ungraded because I wasn't allowed to enter, sadly. I went to


Brussels and met the man in charge of the thing, I told him I wanted


to bring the music back to the people. What is he like, is he like


Sepp Blatter? That's a football reference and you know I don't know


what you are talking about. I will say yes if that helps in that he


has a foreign sounding name. I wanted to write a song about people


coming together. Stop the mugging, start the hugging was born.


didn't work. Good one to start on. We were discussing before the show,


you are doing so many things. What are you, Danny Wallace? If you were


to go to the dole office now what is your job description? I am a


writer. That's what I do and other stuff. My whole philosophy about it


is try and have fun and do things that are fun and try and do them


well so you get asked to have more fun later. The writing is my job.


If I am in a cab and they ask me I don't want to say so I say I work


at Argos and that kills it dead. they say how many of those free


pens do you get? They don't. That's what I would ask. It's all


automated - we are getting into specific Argoes-based... You write


a brilliant column in Shortlist about awkward situations you have


got into and people find themselves in, it's Danny Wallace is a Man.


write that. It didn't start that way. It developed into me writing


about things that would happen to me and my friends, strange


situations. Give us an example. Like I don't know how to walk


behind a woman I don't know at night. It's an awkward thing. You


immediately think, arrogantly somehow... You think about your


breathing. That they see you as a threat. You can't just go "I am not


a threat" because that seems weird and if you slow down that's odd and


speed up that's worse. I developed a technique, a jaunty whistle to


put them at their ease. That's worse. It made it into like a


horror movie. Whistle Killer! then got all of those stories made


into a book. Put them together as a book last year, Awkward Situations


For Men. Have you had awkward situations this morning? One when I


walked into the wrong room and saw Tim ironing his own shirt. I have


learned a lot about you today, you are you are terrible at Spanish, we


established that and you mainly eat ham and nuts. Actually, that's a


lie, I just eat apples now. just eat apples. Kind of, I do like


apples. Is that bad? I suppose if you are the host of a show that


involves a lot of cooking it's not ideal. It's awkward. Elliot says


are the stories in your books exaggerated for comedy effect or


genuine? They're the way I would tell them to you if if you are in


the the pub. It's the way I would tell an anecdote. I write like I


speak, but posher. That's my rule for writing. I met Dylan Jones the


other night, editor of GQ and he says you have been out to interview


Charlie Sheen. I did a little piece for GQ. Was he he sober? I brought


a $750 ticket to sheus show -- to his show which earns you ten


seconds with Charlie Sheen and I met him. Did you? I met him and it


was weird, he was doing his live tour across the States and I went


to Texas and it was a very strange show and I wasn't sure I wanted to


meet him after watching it. I knew I would have ten seconds so the


piece is about what I was going to ask him. In ten seconds? Yeah.


Brilliant and your impressions of the man and everything. And the


fans, yeah. Your book got made into - is it a sitcom? Yeah, for ABC in


America last year. It was a pilot, so you go out there and it's an


extraordinary experience in going out there with my little boy and


being on the set and the director and stuff and that brought its own


situations, to get the visa sorted I sought this thing I shouldn't


have seen, the company plying me -- flying me over said I was an actor


of international renoun and I am not. I have had a 15 second bit in


the IT Crowd and not sure that's enough. They let you in. Then they


decided they wanted it with an audience and maybe a baby. Get the


baby in there. We shot it, not the baby, I do apologise, we shot the


pilot at that stage and so it was very hard to CGI in a baby. Then


they decided that what they wanted really was female comedy, comedy


based around women and mine was called Awkward Situations For Men.


Rename it. How was your acting. looks like a proper sitcom. And


it's shot in that way and we are in yellow cabs and looks like Seinfeld


and there's me walking down the middle in my ordinary clothes. It's


a strange one, yeah. I had to act at being an actor who was good at


acting. Everything you write seems to almost turn to gold. You wrote


Yes Man which turned into a movie with Jim Carrey. You have written a


first fiction novel which is being picked up for a movie. Yeah, I


haven't really talked about this. I wrote a novel and just handed it in


and it comes out in a year and Working Title have picked it up.


It's a romantic comedy and they've made all my favourite comedies ever.


They have made Notting Hill. Four Weddings and that kind of


stuff. How jammy are you! Maybe talented and not jammy. I go for a


bit of both. The book's not even out, how do they get it? They take


it to the publishers? There's various processes involved and it


gets sent out to foreign publishers as well so they can pick it up if


they want to. What is the book about? It's about a man and a lady.


This is different. A thing that happens. Oh! Controversial. I will


wait until next year. Will you come back? This is very much a a teaser


campaign. Are you going to be playing yourself in it? I would


like to have a cameo. I did a cameo in Yes Man, maybe that's why they


thought I was an international actor, and I was standing at the


end of a bar looking very uncomfortable and out of place but


with a British pint glass. I would like to maybe try and re-create


that same cameo in any films I am able to get ever, so one day in an


infinite universe someone downloads those same films and always sees


the same man at the boar. -- at the bar. We can't go without talking


about your latest book, More Awkward Situations For Men. Is it


Is it different or same stories rehashed in posh writing. I changed


the font. It's much more stuff and I will a little boy now, so there


are elements of the situations that happens there. Being a dad. There's


the day my kid turned into a toddler, he went from a baby, into


a proper person person with kind of - either incredibly happy because I


made a ridiculous noise or incredibly sad, throwing his arms


in the air, despair because I won't let him him throw a pear out of a


window at a policeman. And how I became a star of a advertising


campaign throughout Egypt. There is a picture of me with a monkey, I


love the picture and someone in Egypt must have Googled funny


monkey, and found this, and blew it up over massive billboards over


Cairo and Luxor without telling me. What is it for? I am happy to


endorse them, the Africa Safari and Hotel Chain, no money has changed


hands for this. I am the monkey man of Egypt. You are going to hang


around and get involved with our gadgets this week. What are we


looking at, Nicki? As you can see from the stylish bicycle, Tour de


France started yesterday so we are going to be looking at the coolest


bikes on the market. Is it too late to pull out of the show? If you


want your lunch, you have to hang around. Danny will be cooking


pudding as well as that. If you have any questions for him or


Beverley you can tweet or e-mail them. We are going to be travelling


back in time now but you won't need the DeLorean, Marty McFly. I was


only interested in the hoverboard. 88 stks mph -- 88mph. Thanks for


#. Winnie Mandela never looked like a woman sentenced to years in jail.


Out on bail straightaway pending her appeal against sentence and


conviction. The organisers of last night's


Pavarotti concert in Hyde Park say the event was a huge success,


despite the heavy rain which drenched the 100,000-strong crowd.


Tonight, the Royal Albert Hall staged one of its most unusual


I don't have to stand here and justify my actions to you, next


time you can pick up your own mail. Another thing, if I find one more


of those stupid yellow notes I may not be responsible for my actions.


That was Angus Deayton. Yes. What do KLF do now? They have just


reformed actually and played a couple of gigs They burnt a couple


of million pounds, remember that? Did they though? What year was


that? 87 or 88? I think it is 87 or '88. I say 87. I'm now to see what


'88. I say 87. I'm now to see what you've cooked from last week's show.


This is Amy Lyttelton and this is their tiny dog Travis, and this is


only James Martin. Really? Look very green, those peas. They made


the crab risotto cakes, which are yummy. How big are those dog's


ears? Massive. What would you call that dog fit was yours? Come back


to me. Gary Lineker. Prince Charles. I don't know, cliche comedy. This


is Ben and Harrison. If there's a manufacturer looking for a cute kid


to endorse a product, look at his little face. Brilliant. Chocolate


swirl cake. It was Ben's 9th birthday. Kay and Sian are from


Kettering. The doggy is called Sky. Dressing up animals. What's that


Dressing up animals. What's that one there? It is a snake. No, it's


not a snake, it's got legs! It is not a snake, it's got legs! It is


some form of lizard-type beast. Is it a really large newt? We need to


know. If this is you... It's a dragon. What is it? I don't know.


We'll find out, if you were watching. There is lots of people


at home who know. Somebody is muttering in my ear. I love this, a


beautifully framed shot. Kirsty from Lincoln. That girl there with


her Cham eel onwhich you can't see, because it's blended into the


course? Lamb meat loaf. Meat and bread, right? Pretty much. It is


all leftovers. With the exception of fresh parsley I'm using dried


herbs. We've got bacon. Minced lamb, minced pork, cook off some of the


bacon. Lamb and pork, why? Because of the


fat content will hold it together. The lamb, while it is fatty, lots


of fat will come out of the lamb and it can shrink. I thought meat


loafs were made out of beef. They are, generally speaking. I think


lamb and pork is an interesting combination. We've got parsley, our


only fresh ingredients. Bacon, onion, celery, Worcestershire sauce,


do rehearsalst at 7.30am and on air I can't remember how to do this.


Surely there is an order to everything, Simon? There is, but


when you are staging it for the purposes of television it is


different. From a reality point of view you soak the bread with the


egg and the milk. Then we mash it. I will do that while you finely


chop that. I will chop the celery. Soak this for 20 minutes or so. The


milk and the egg start to break down. You need to work this quite


well so it becomes (Inaudible). How many recipes don't have an onion in


it? Only three, and they are all desserts! Mix all of that together


and really break it down. On yon is a -- onion is a good basis for most


things. If somebody in a restaurant is allergic to onions you really


struggle. Try another restaurant. It is a difficult one.


Mash all this together. Thenly chuck in our spices into there and


chuck in the mustard and the Worcestershire sauce. Amazing time


for sport at the moment isn't it? Brilliant. The fight last night.


Disappointed, are you? A bit disappointed. I really wanted David


Haye to win that. I loved the hype and the build-up. The tennis, who


do you want to win today? As a person I like Rafael Nadal. One of


the I like mostly about this Championships a picture of him in


his local supermarket shopping is, because he likes to cook. I like


Nadal. I want to go for him. Tour de France started. Did you see the


crash? No, I red about it but didn't see it. I'm not really a


summer sports person. That's a disgrace. Next year you've got the


Olympics as well. Olympics and euro 2012. A huge summer of sport. What


am I doing? Mix it all together. The simplicity of a meat loaf is it


all gets cooked together. Get your hands In goes the pork and the lamb.


Plenty of seasoning. The key to a meat loaf is loads of salt, and


particularly pepper. You are aiming to mix that so it all becomes one,


so rather than having pockets of bread and meat, you want to turn in


into a complete ingredient. The parsley gives it that fresh


grassiness. It is a much-maligned thing, meat loaf. If you go to the


United States it is everywhere, but we never have it here. We always


think it is going to be rubbish. With our leftovers we make bubble


and squeak, or Scouse in your case. That will become the national dish


come the revolution. Get right in there, Tim. I am, I can't get any


more in there, Simon! Everything's in there! A big bowl is essential,


so you can really work it. We are on the brink of that bowl being too


small. The big ter bowl the more you can get -- bigger the bowl, the


more you can get stuck in there. With the tennis I liked all of the


kit that the ballboys and line judges had. They looked really cool.


They looked really smart with the diagonal cross. I thought it was a


fantastic day. It was great. Louis Vuitton was great. How is your --


Kvitka was great. How is your tennis coming on? I was a one-


hander and I saw Nadal the other day and thought, I should should be


doing two hands. Roger and Pistol Pete are single-handed. I was


modelling my game on them. My coach thinks my weapon's my forehand. I


think it's my smile. LAUGHTER will be a long season. Now it's


mixed together, all of it goes in there. The key is to make sure


these corners are filled. hearing that animal is called a


blue-tonged skink. I've never heard of one of those before. The key is


getting it into the corners. What will happen is the meat will shrink


as it cooks. If you don't really pack it down, what will happen is


that as the meat shrinks, when you turn this out you will end up with


a meat Oval, and we want this to be really deliciously packed into the


corners. Once it's gone in, to keep more fat in it, the same way that


you could... What animal is a skink? I didn't know what it was


from the pictures, there is no point asking me now. I think it's a


2011er -- dweller of the Amazonian rainforest. What does it eat?


Bacon on top keeps it moist. We bake that for an hour. I think


somebody just made that up and tweeted it in. And we were so


paranoid that there is something we Knight not know that we've taken it


as fact. -- we might not know that we've taken it as fact. That smell


is really great. I think it is the bacon. The bacon and the herbs.


I can smell pork. And the lamb in the middle, you get that fattiness


of the lamb. That is a fantastic smell. If you want to do something


different for Sunday dinner. Let it sit for five minutes before you


carve it. That is glorious. We have a lovely big slab of our meat loaf.


With it we serve. Danny, do you want to try this? Mashed potato.


And we serve some greenery, in our case green beans. We serve it


with... Dany, as you are the face of wildlife in Egypt, what's a


skink? Have you heard of a blue- tonged skink? No, that's why I like


this show. Educational. So you get the juicy moistness that the bread


gives it. You've got bacon, pork and lamb and the spices. And it is


great cold as well. That's yummy. Meat loaf can be for every day of


the week. We are making loukoumades, Danny, as you well know. Is that


the Greek thing? It is what the blue-tongued lizards eat. They do


like loukoumades. If you want to make any of that or today's recipes,


go to our website - bbc.co.uk/somethingfortheweekend.


In your mouth, Tim. That's the same In your mouth, Tim. That's the same


address if you wants to e-mail questions for Danny Wallace or


Beverley Knight. @SFTW. Quite a racy comedy, set in their bedsit it


stars Russell Tovey and his girlfriend in Him And Her. Steve?


Why have you put your mug face down on the floor? Chuck it out if


window. You can get AIDS from a spider. I read it on a website.


a man for once in your life and get rid of the spied err. Alright, give


me that. Stand back! Stay behind me. Oh, God.


I'll deal with him in a minute when I've worked out a plan. Up side


down. You put a mug up side down, not face down. DOORBELL RINGS


Ignore him. I can't. You can meet Him And Her if you are up late on a


Wednesday at 11.15pm on BBC One. Our next guest burst on the music


scene in 1995. She's worked with the likes of Stevey wonder and


Prince. And picked up an MBE while churning out hits like these.


# Hold on to the beautiful night # There is no need to worry


# Because I won't turn on the light # Oh, I wish I had done a little


bit more # I shoulda, woulda, coulda means


I'm out of time # And I wonder, wonder what I'm


gonna do # Shoulda, woulda, could da are the


# Come as you are # Don't be shy


# Don't deny Welcome back, Beverley Night, you


played with Prince, what was he like? Absolutely mind-blowing,


there are no words. It was incredible. The whole thing was


like did this really happen? It was like a dream. Didn't he fly you to


LA? He did. I didn't know why I was going. I was told it's a meeting,


but when I got there I realised it was Oscars weekend, I thought


what's going on? Yeah, it turned out he wanted me there to sing at


his Oscars party. Have you been to the purple Palace? I haven't yet,


because the home in LA was rented house, but I am waiting. Have you


spent time with him socially, did you get to hang out with him?


I got there he called me at the hotel, I was like this because it


was the jet-lag had kicked in. We chatted on the phone for a good 20


minutes and I was like, yeah, yeah, wake up! But then the next day when


it was Oscars party day and the Oscars we kind of spent time


together talking music, he was playing me demos. Is he a laugh?


is, honestly. Does he wear that stuff in his normal outfits or


tracksuits or stuff. He does not dress down. The way - it's like he


kind of full fills everything you want him to, to be honest. He is


not like going up the shop in my trackies. He is totally - that's


him all the time. 17 years you have been around, we were talking about


it. You have had an incredibly long year. I --. A long career. I do


feel grateful and humbled. It's the fans who have done it and they're


amazing. It's been quite an incredible career I have had.


that time how has the music industry changed for you? You have


a few things to say about the way things have gone of late. I always


have something to say! Me and my opinions. Yeah, I have seen so many


revolutions really in how music, not only is bought, but how it's


actually received. Back in the day when I started Top of the Pops was


a massive event. We haven't even got that any more. In fact, we


hardly have any music shows, apart from Jools Holland which is a


delight for any musician, you get to play live. In the past decade


more or less, we have seen shows like X Factor come up and I worry


about shows like that because... You have been outspoken about it


recently. Didn't you call it a monstrosity or something? It's the


machine that I find so, oh my God, you know, it's overwhelming. These


kids go in, they're like yes I want to do it and I am like do you


really understand the industry? Do you know what you are getting into?


Do you know that folk at home in auditions spend time laughing and


stuff like that? I think it's so... When you got into the industry you


didn't know, so they've come in. They've sailed in at a level where


it's like everybody's going to watch you make your mistakes, your


triumphs, everything. The ones who make it, there's very few. On one


hand. Leona Lewis. It was a great way for her to get through.


Arguably, she was going to get through anyway, because a voice


like that, that comes through and I would put Alex Burke in the same


category. Fantastic. Love her. When people like that come along they


rarely get ignored. It's like OK, Alex and Leona and there's tens of


thousands of others who end up on the telly, everybody knows them and


they fade away. They're set up for a fall basically. A lot of the time.


It's tough for the music companies now, the labels, they can't invest


in someone like Leona because they don't make money out of record


sales. By getting them on X Factor people will buy it, it's a quick-


fix for them as well. It is a quick-fix scenario for them and if


I am wearing my record label hat I can understand that. But my concern


is first and foremost for the people who go on it because of the


way the show is. It's a great TV show, it's good to watch, but


because of the more serious element of it being part and parcel of the


music industry, that's when I can see the cracks. That's when I see


the problems. If you don't understand an industry you are


getting into in any way, shape or form and you go in at top drawer,


your first tour is Wembley arena, for example, it's overwhelming and


if you make any tiny error, everybody gets to see it. That's


concerning. I made all my mistakes along the way. Maybe they should do


a show where they go and look at everybody after they've been on


these shows and see what they're doing and how their lives are good


or bad. The after effect. Let's do it! Let's talk about your music.


You are doing an album of cover versions. It has more depth, it has


a concept. Yes, it's me covering some of the great British songs


that we have either forgotten about or forgotten about careers of the


people who have done it. I am trying to celebrate them. It's like


my love letter to these guys who enabled me to have the career that


I have got. They paved the way. They're your inspirations.


Absolutely. Run through some of the acts. At the big end of the scale


we have got the amazing George Michael, who I absolutely love and


I have done his track One More Try. You have Jamiroquai and with both


those guys sometimes we forget their back catalogue and how


amazing they are. Sometimes the personal life gets talked about a


lot. Then you go along and I have people like Omar, a British soul


stalwart. You have Jacqui Graham from Wolverhampton and songs that


came out when I was little and I remember, Soul II Soul, of course.


It's a mix. Junior is the single. # At the time he couldn't


understand # Mama used to say


# Take your time young man # Don't you rush


# Mama used to say This remind me of Soul Train which


we used to tune into. I used to fancy Geoffrey Daniels. What's the


name of the album? It's Soul UK. Does what it says on the tin.


totally does. Thank you so much. Beverley is going to stay around


for the rest of the show. You want to see her shoes. Huge. You can


tweet or e-mail us with any questions.


There's loads to come on the show, including all of this.


Joni Mitchell hung out there, it was the Troubadour Club. I thought


she was Shakespeare reinkarpbated. Simon is cooking a deluxe fish


finger sandwich. It's the last chance to see the


tortured Luther. Danny Wallace has joined Simon and


me in the kitchen. Writing comedy, acting. There's no end to your


talents. Cooking. I can't remember what you were like last time.


terrific. What have you cooked since? I cooked loukoumades. Funny


enough we are doing them again just because you are back. Do you know


loukoumades? I never met him. A little joke there there! I have


seen Simon do a similar thing before. So, I am aware of it, but I


would like to know how to make it. Thank you. That's a nice intro. The


sauce, we have lemon, honey, water and sugar. The loukoumades are


fundamentally a donut, a fried batter thing. We have flour sifted


well, honey, warm water, salt and yeast. So, Mr Wallace, if you would


like to dip in the salt and yeast, spoon. As you stir, gradually add


the water. You are trying to avoid it being too lumpy really. Got you.


We are just three guys hanging out making pudding. It's what we do.


Awkward situation. I went a little bit bit gloopy there. You are


trying to mix this together without it being too lumpy, but equally


without beating the life out of the flour because they'll become too


stiff. Honey in there for flavour. As you talk about men's issues,


where are you with man hugs? I am all for man hugs. I enjoy man hugs,


I encourage them. You struggle, don't you? What do we do now.


Remain like this for a while. finding it uncomfortable. It's the


back pressure is a tricky thing. It's having a conversation doing it


which is even weirder. We have to cook at some point. To actually do


it now, it's like what do you do, a little press like that. A little


press is nice. That was unnerving, Tim. It made me feel strange.


Tim will enjoy, is just hold hands while cooking and do this for a


little while. As a man I feel really uncomfortable. I hope some


people have just turned on right now. I will let you go. That was


uncomfortable. I enjoy your discomfort. Because it's weird.


It's only because we don't do it. We are getting into a dangerous


area now. Do you greet someone like you, good friends, it's easy to do


that. You have to do that or this or hug. Or that. The tennis,


doubles yesterday. They do that one. We are still cooking, aren't we?


Speaking of which, what happens, we cover that and let that sit. I will


have to go back to this, when is the time to do it and not hug, when


do you make that decision? You have to judge the other person. It's


also like - do you do the thing it's been the end of the night you


have had terrific fun at a bar or restaurant and you go outside you


go it's been great, see you soon. See you later and you both walk off


in the same direction and you have to do the same thing and you are


judging the other person, you go if he goes left I will have to double


back. With this, we covered this and the yeast has done its magic


and it's fizzy and it's puffed up beautifully. Normally with any


batter what you do is you do what you call knocking back, get some of


this air out. You don't do that with loukoumades. What we want to


do, if you have a deep fat frier, fry these at about 160-180. Where


am I? Now, the sauce. Zest a bit of lemon. The rest of the sauce goes


in like that. You do find it uncomfortable, always. I don't know


when to do it and not. In that case just do it all the time. If what's


worrying you is when it's correct, just do it to everyone. OK. I will


try that. Even policemen and everything. Especially policemen,


yeah. What about kisses on text messages, are they acceptable to


send to other men? Not like your accountant or anything. I had to


write an angry e-mail to the council once and I was using words


I wouldn't normally use and I was angry, I was impressed with myself


and when I sent it I thought something's not right and I looked


and I had popped a little kiss at the end and I thought that probably


undermined the point I was trying to make. I think it's changed,


though. It has for you. I quite like it. Happens all the time, in


the phorpb -- mornings when we are here everyone hugs and kisses,


apart from you. I don't mind. All this lemon zest into the sauce. The


sauce, we put honey, water, we put soft light brown sugar. We have


loads of sweetness in all of this. Now we are turning it into...


Turning it into what? Fruitiness. We squeeze the lemon in. You are


laughing at how uncomfortable I was. I am going to cradle you to sleep


tonight. I reckon there's a lot of people at home thinking I am in the


same boat as Tim. Really? I think mate Lee Boardman was on, I gave


Lee a hug, like you do, and Tim went,, "Whoa!" And yet you are in


there ironing your shirt. I have to embrace your Metro sexuality.


like to think I am a metrosexual, but I'm not enamoured with the


hugging. Now, fish those out and pop them on the kitchen roll to


take away the excess fat. You want them slightly more golden than that


but these will be delicious nonetheless. Here we've got a


combination of icing sugar and cinnamon. This will smell like any


American interior design store. do they make them smell of


cinnamon? I've never thought about that. We layer up our beautiful


loukoumades, which are piping hot, nice and sweet. Then we pour over


this incredible pistachio honey and lemon sauce. Another dusting of


this and a touch of Greek yoghurt on the top. Dig They are going to


be warm, chaps. How many people on average die immediately after


eating one of these? A fairly high percentage. Coming up, Wayne


Collins's whisky cocktails and Beverley will be cooking a final


dish with us. A fish finger butty. I'm desperate to try some of this.


Oh, wow! Oh, God! A deep-fried sweet. What's not to like? That's


great. Now I'm uncomfortable. great. Now I'm uncomfortable.


Another man hug. And now me and you. Guess the year that all these


things happen in Deja View. LAUGHTER


# It's 3am, 3am, eternal # KLF is gonna rock ya


# Ancients of Mumu # Winnie Mandela never looked like a


woman just sentenced to six years in jail, out on bail.


organisers of last night's Pavarotti concert in Hyde Park say


the event was a huge success despite the heavy rain which


drenched the 100,000 strong crowd. Tonight the Royal Albert Hall


stages the grand Sumo tournament. # KLF (uh-huh, uh-ha uh-ha)


# Ancients of MuMu # TELEPHONE RINGS


Yes! What? No, I don't want to subscribe to Which?. I don't


believe it! That was Deja View with the KLF.


it. (Uh-huh, uh-ha uh-ha) Can you name the year they were at number


one? Winnie Mandela was imprisoned and Pavarotti was in the Park.


was around the time I left school, in 2001. I think it was early '90s.


Wayne, any idea? Late '80s. We'll find out for sure in approximately


18 minutes' time. First, Wayne is here to titillate us with some


here to titillate us with some cocktails. What's on the menu?


American Independence Day tomorrow so we've got American whisky, a


good old but bon. And cherry- infused. Isn't whisky Irish? The


water of life. I'm alive! Historically the Americans probably


wouldn't have started with American whisky but for the war of


independence. There was a tax on rum and on mead, but the Irish


immigrants started the whisky production in America. So they can


thank us. This is a cherry smash, a classic American drink using whisky,


mint and sugar, with new flavours in it as well. Fresh cherry. A


double slug of the black cherry- infused but bon. That's that?


hammer, a few gimmicks now and then. You don't have one of them, Tim, at


your party house. At my cocktail house. He'll make one. A wedge of


orange and mint leaves, and fresh lemon juice, a drizzle of sugar to


sweeten. This is all raw ingredients, so it's perfect for a


detox diet. What exercises do you do with your personal trainer?


of weights, squats, and I've been walking funny, funny strange, not


funny ha-ha. Lots of resistance training with bands and stuff.


Outside? In the park, yes. Did you wants to come and join in? I like


running. Just running. apparently short bouves running is


much better than one hour of running. I like running Forrest


Gump running. Yeah, just getting in and running. It clears the head,


just like this will clear our head. The mint and the cherries,


wonderful. A cherry garnish with a sprig of mint for perfume. That's a


real classic smash whisky, with fresh cherry in there. And cherry


but bon as well. What do you think? What do you know? Did you know


what? It's absolutely gorgeous but I would drink that in 12 seconds


flat, because it is so sweet it tastes like a fizzy drink. It is


amazing. Oh, wow! That's a real girl's drirk. You really like it,


Tim. It is like a sherb efforts. That's the lemon mixed with the


fresh cherries -- like a Cher Bert. That's the lemon mixed with the


fresh cherries. Lemon and sugar, runny00y. They used to make a form


of mea dfrpblgts It sounds dangerous. -- a form of mead. It


sounds dangerous. Green apple likor is like a Granny Smith and a shot-


and-a-half of wheated but bon for a different texture to it. This is


based on a sour but adding the apple liqueur and the honey.


But bon, I'm often asked what it is. It is how it's made, not where it


comes from. It is leaking all over the place. Thank for, that Wayne.


Don't waste it. How is it made then? They use different cereals,


corn predominantly plus a bit of rye and bar limit but bon can be


made anywhere in America but Kentucky has the rights to the name


but bon. What are you calling this you used to suck as a kid. That's


really good. Thank you so much. If you wants to make either of these


fris Kiwis I can cocktails the recipes are -- either of these fris


This is the Troubadors: The Rise of # They won't give us a chance


# It was just a dream # I wouldn't want to stay here


# It's too old and cold and settled in its ways here


# But California, California had me coming home. #


Joni Mitchell. I thought she was Shakespeare reincarnated. So many


of the people that would consider California music didn't come from


here. People like Joni Mitchell, who was Canadian, took an outside


look at what was going on in America and took her own particular


values and situations and put them into personal songs. I think it


really expanded the way people thought about writing. That was one


of the biggest contributions to the music at the time.


# California, oh, California # Had me coming home


# Make me feel good, rock 'n' roll band


# I'm your biggest fan # . We were living at Laurel Canyon


at her house. It was a wonderful time. Just great. We travelled a


lot. She sang beautifully and several songs of mine I played on


that album of hers. We had a great time. It was terrific. Too good to


Looks great, that. You can get down with the Troubadors on Friday at


9.00pm on BBC Four. Now it is time for our gadgets. What have we got


today? We've got some bikes, because of the Tour de France.


love the Tour de France. How did this happen! If you want to hold


hands through the sides, I know you hands through the sides, I know you


two are bosom buddies now. I'm going to be walking round as you


two pedal. Danny, do you like cycling? I've bought a bike but


it's being sent round soon. It was late-night Prime Minister. I have


had a glass of win. You bought one on-line? Isn't that how you buy


bikes? You've got the glittery bike and the ladies' helmet. I feel like


I'm in a spin class. This is by a Japanese designer. Lots of


attention to to deDale. There's a leopard print one which is sold out.


This is what the fashionistas are wearing. This one is �68. The one


you have that there is the emotion Are you secretly pretending to be


cool but there's a lot of competition going on here?


can't pretend to be cool wearing this ladies' hat. They've injected


a bit of macho there to counter balance the hat. Their �19.99 and


made of goatskin leather. Safety first, we've got reflective sashes


for you as well. Are you more of a sprinter or a hill rider? Have


you stopped? No, I'm a sprinter. I'm like Cavendish. These are


probably both a bit feminine because of the pink. I've never


really put a sash on before. This is a play on the Miss Board. This


one is the striped Zune but it comes in stars and candy cane. Tim


looks like he's about to go off raving. It is by a company called


Cycladeic. And we've got cuffs for tow wear. Am I being punked right


now. What's going on? It does feel Can I wear all this home? These are


reflective cuffs. This one is �14. The one Tim has is �19. I am not


having these. You look terrific. It's not very practical. I am not


having it. We have had hugging and hand holding and now... Pink


accessories. The gadgets now. Danny, I will let you model this one. This


is a HD helmet-cam. Pop it over your head. This is going to get


messy. It is. Which bit? This way is easier. Whilst you are putting


that on, we have footage that we filmed earlier. This is people


going through some traffic. This is what we actually filmed. There's


filming in the city there. You can see the picture you get. It's a


great lens on it. It comes with a durable shockproof and outerproof


casing. I am a respected author. Yeah, but you know, you have a fun


side. How much is that one? �299. Come on, I was told to keep going.


Have we got much time? We haven't. I am being rushed. Bike signals


here. It does what it says on the tin, well it should do. Hopefully


it will work. If you press that, there we go. A right signal. Talk


us through this one. This is kind of my favourite. This is the Veleau


hydration system. As you can see, the straw goes through there,


attached to the saddle, into your mouth. When you are finished if you


let go it has retractable cord which pulls it back into place.


you cycle backwards it provides a colonic. That's a handy feature!


Who won? Probably a draw. What! Thanks. If you want more


information on any of that bike stuff you can e-mail us and we will


get back with all the details. This is the big one, this is the last


time this series he will be stalking around and solving crimes


with instinct and intuition, this Good news is we found this laptop.


What's the bad news? We need to find a password, wait until you see


It will take weeks. It's not right, is it? How? Well, I mean, in order


for it to work you need the exact book. You get another edition.


this is all secondhand junk shop copies. How are you going to get an


Gideons bible, there's one of these in every hotel room in the country.


The key to breaking that code is in You can watch the final episode of


Luther on Tuesday at 9.00pm. Now Beverley is in the kitchen. Do you


cook, Beverley? I do. I kind of watched my mum and my dad, my late


dad, cooking in the kitchen and kind of copied them. Me and my


sister and my brother all did the same. Mostly west Indian. You are a


dab hand with the knife then. Will she need to get the chopping skills


out? I have always been surrounded by people who cooked, my dad and


mum, grandmothers and blah-blah- blah, if you are surrounded by it


it's not a big issue. It's weird when you hear people say I never


cook and you find out their parents didn't and you can see why. My mum


cooked, but I am still useless. don't believe you. You say that.


am getting better. What are we cooking today? Something that's


indulgeent, a fish finger buttie. Sounds posh. Sundays you get away


with something cheeky. Spring onions, smoked salmon and salmon.


You could use any finish you want, to be honest. Haddock would be a


nice combination. English mustard, mayo and capers. We will roll the


fish fingers in breadcrumbs and salmon. It's a fatty fish, salmon.


You want it as fine as you can get it. You could actually do this in a


food processer. You could put it in and whizz it up so it becomes like


a pate. But it's nice to hand chop it. It really is fishy fingers then.


It's definitely fishy fingers right now. It's just lovely, that thing


of chopping it all up. It's fish and breadcrumbs. You don't have


anywhere to go after this, tkefrly -- Beverley? Actually I am going to


a festival later to see Prince, so I better wash my hands. You are


going to see Prince, on a personal level? I am going to be hearing him


play with 50,000 others, so I am excited about that. On your new


album, what's your favourite track? What was the one that had to be on?


One of the first ones I recorded Fair Play and after that Southern


Freeze, I thought OK they've got to be on. These are songs I remember


and love from childhood. Certainly The Soul II Soul track, I remember


wishing I was old enough to go to the clubs and do my thing, but I


wasn't. We were talking about that earlier, 17 years you have been in


the industry, which is a lifetime in the music industry really. This


is your 7th album. That's right. you have a favourite so far, a baby


album? I don't. Every time that anybody asks me that it changes.


Who I am, I am really grateful for, I am proud of the songs and the


writing on that and that was the one that broke me out into the


wider mainstream. I don't know if any one of them is my baby, as such.


You love them all equally. I do, they're my children. Do you have a


favourite moment? You have had the moments with Prince, Stevie Wonder


moments, and what was this about Nelson Mandela, did you sing for


him? It was the most amazing thing that I was asked to sing for Nelson


Mandela. It was a tiny private dinner for his children's aids


foundation and I was asked along to sing. I stood up at the table and


just sang. Is that one of those moments you think back and think


this can't really be happening? really do. I think to myself just


this girl from Wolverhampton who had a big dream about having a


career in music and it came true. It came true in the most amazing


way. Grateful for every day. That's your favourite moment apart from


chopping salmon on Something For The Weekend. And trying desperately


to concentrate to get it right! have lots of salt and pepper in


there. It gets worse now in terms of fishy fingers. All of the salmon


goes in. Then, similar to the meatloaf before, we mix this


together. This is really only one way and that is physically do that.


You are almost using your hands then as a processer to mash it


together. I will do it for you, I am feeling generous. You don't want


to meet Prince later and him going she was nice when I met her, but


she's smellly, to be honest. Then you get a little bit of the fish


and you simply smash it into fish fingers. It's sticking together


because there's so much fat in the salmon. A bit of that. It doesn't


matter they're rough and lumpy, that's fine. You are not going to


do one now, I can sense it. I am going to do it. You don't have to,


I won't be 15ed. We really -- won't be offended. Into flour and egg.


They're delicate at this stage. We combine the breadcrumbs and polenta.


Once you coat them put them in the fridge so they set. At the moment


they're very soft. So in the frying pan they would fall apart. You have


avoided that, Beverley Knight. have to ask you this, you have got


a couple of pair of shoes at home, and we asked people to guess, they


guessed 200, 300. There is some of them, the camera didn't have a wide


enough Lens! How many shoes do you own? Drums, please. North of 450


pairs. That was some of the the boxes piling up paoeupbd the


clothes -- behind the clothes. much money would that cost over the


years? I don't even know, probably a deposit on the house. Quickly,


the sauce, because we are running out of time. These go into the


frying pan for 4-5 minutes. Sauce, we have capers and gherkins in


first of all, then add mayo, English mustard, then we add our


capers in there. We mix that around. We have salt, we have pepper. The


nice thing about having a little bit of mustard there you get this


nice colour. Amanda, could you do me a lovely flavour, bring out our


fishy fingers. To serve this we have bread, thick white sliced,


gorgeous bread, from magnificent northern bakeries. A couple of


fishy fingers sit in there like that. A little bit of rocket to


make it look like we are being posh. Bread on top. Finally, cut that


fella in half and we just about managed it. This is such a dish you


are going to eat, Beverley. Over to Tim and Danny for the Deja View


The headlines, music was KLF and the year was? 1991. We haven't a


lot of time left. People have been asking about your cult Join Me, if


it's still going and you have your country? People still join.


Beverley is now looking at me that I might be odd. It's good, people


do random acts of goodness on a Friday. December we do a big thing


where people get together and do random acts of kindness on the


streets. Excel Excellent. Thanks to Beverley and Danny. Next week we


have Denise van Outen and Simon Callow show and talking to the F F1


Live cooking, the best of this week's TV and celebrity chat to set up your Sunday. This week Tim Lovejoy, Amanda Byram and chef Simon Rimmer are joined by comedian Danny Wallace and British soul diva Beverley Knight.

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