Live cooking, the best of the week's TV and celebrity chat. Tim Lovejoy, Amanda Byram and chef Simon Rimmer are joined by comedian Danny Wallace and soul diva Beverley Knight.
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Good morning. It's 10 o'clock and Amanda is back here in the hot seat
standing in for Louise. It is quite hot, actually. We need the air con
on. Our first guest is author, producer, comedian, actor and the
King of lovely, Danny Wallace. Hello! We shoulda, woulda, coulda
and we actually dida, the Queen of British soul will join us, it's
Beverley Knight. And they are here to do some cocktails and cook for
you Andrew this week's telly. This is Something for the Weekend.
Good morning. Welcome to Something for the Weekend. Great to have you
back. We've got microphone problems? My levels were off. Story
of my life. How have you been? Really good. I had an amazing June.
I've been on holidays, or you say, hollibobs. I've been to Paris and
Ibiza. I believe Louise is on her holidays this week. Before the show
you were eating salmon and cucumber, which made us laugh, because you
are super-ing a detox? Ibiza left me a broken woman. It was pretty
intense. I came home and thought, I'm going to clean myself. Have a
wash, yeah. And did you feel better for your detox? Don't I look better,
Simon! Tim and I were just saying that. I was at Glastonbury last
weekend. How was that? The best thing I saw was the sun, when it
came up on the Saturday. I was that deep in mud but it was brilliant.
Did you glamp or camp? Neither! didn't hotel it, did you? Such a
ziv va. No, I didn't hotel it. I stayed in a house. A house! It was
good fun in my house. Who were your favourite snacks Yesterday we went
to the tennis. Thanks for the invite, by the way. We scoured the
souvenir shop to get you most expensive thing we could find.
God, here we go. Oh, you went to Wimbledon and that's all you
brought me back? It was fantastic. It was really, really good. Shar
sharp, was she grunting? Sharapova, was she grunting? It is
not as bad in real life. Why does she do it? To make sure they don't
hold their breath when they hit. We are joined by the soulful Beverley
Knight, here to talk about her new album of classic covers, her MBE
and 17 years of success. I will never be able to look at you same
way again, Tim. We have commandian and celebrity clomnust Danny
Wallace, who will be able to tell - - clom nist Danny Wallace, who will
be able to tell us about his amazing new programme. E-mail or
tweet us and we'll ask your questions. What's happening in the
kitchen today? Have you been doing raw juice? Yeah, juices and raw
food. That's what I have most days. Nuts, ham and apple. And water.
water. Ham is cooked. I'll explain it later, Tim, don't worry.? Well,
in the real world what we were cooking today, we start with a
baked paella salad. Think rice and add acidity in it, bizarrely adding
Viking tore the rice gives it a -- adding vinegar to the rice gives it
a delicious flavour. The main course is a lamb meat loaf. Meat
loaf is much maligned. Over here we tend not to eat it much, but it is
gorgeous. Delicious, loads of meat and lots of flavour. Really good
for a detox. I would like to acknowledge Julia Bradbury for her
recipe for loukoumades. It is doughnuts basically, with yoghurt
and honey. How but get that recipe? It is her nan's recipe and I've
stolen it. And finally a declucks fish finger sandwich, salmon, and
making our own tartare sauce. You can't do poncy bread. You need
thick, sliced white. How are you getting away with doing that?
magnificent. Everyone will send you pictures of that next week.
Sandwich spread? Why don't we make that? What is it, mayonnaise?
Mayonnaise, chopped gherkins. what's that other stuff we ate as
kids? Toast Toppers. That's way, way before my time. All our recipes
are on our website - bbc.co.uk/somethingfortheweekend.
Here's some other stuff happening on the show today. Damien Lewis
struggles against the child traffickers in Stolen.
It is bedsit bedlam in comedy Him And Her. And we get down with the
songwriters in LA's Troubador club. We had a great time. It was
terrific. Looking forward to all of that and
especially to Wayne Collins's cocktails. Your detox is over.
Tomorrow is American Independence Day, so we've got two but bon
drinks and a cherry-infused but bon to try. Sounds cool. Before we
to try. Sounds cool. Before we drink we've got to cook. We were
making a paella salad. Paprika, turmeric, garlic and son on.
Watercress, stock, cherry tomatoes, peas, parsley, artichokes, good
Spanish extra Virgin olive oil and sherry vinegar. Slice that down the
middle, cut side down on the board and slice. Don't confuse me. Cut-
side down. We don't want half moons. This way, as fine as you can get it.
Tim, you can finely slice the garlic. Do you want to swap?
always stinks of garlic. You said that and people believe it.
fish fingers later. An awful smelly finger you've got. One of the
things I noticed yesterday, there are so many different types of food,
it did make me think of our Olympic stand when we have our hutch at the
Olympics. Are you really going to do that? Yeah, we haven't got any
tickets, it's the only way we can get in. We thought about names for
the stalls. I was taking my inspiration for a stall, a salad
bar, The Only Way Is Lettuce. Or if we did a beef jerky stall, we could
do Jerky Shors. I see what you did there. Did you watch these
programmes? Never. I can't stand those. I do like the Kardashians.
They all look the same. The mum looks the same age as the
granddaughter. Why don't you call your stand wolverine or Joy...
don't know, do you? No, I don't. I'm doing well here. Well done! In
goes the onions... Thanks, dad! Cook this for a few minutes.
Ideally cook this slowly for five or six minutes to get the sweetness
from the onion and the garlic. I deliberately sliced the garlic
rather than crushed it. I like it as an ingredient rather than a
flavouring. If you crush garlic it gets through everything. If you
slice it, straight away you can smell the garlic begins the cook
rather than permeate through the on yofpbltmuck in the paella rice and
-- through the onion. Chuck in the paella rice. Valencia is the centre
of paella rice production. You see them harvesting rice from the paddy
fields. It is surreal. You don't think you would see that in Europe.
I like paella. Is that how you say it? Paeya-yaaah! Is that just a
sound? One long sill billion. joy for me of paella ovaries Otto
is once we've stirred it round a bit, we are using veggie stock,
then turn it down to a simmer. Bake for 20 minutes. None of this adding
liquid all the time. No stirring around. It is dead easy. This is a
basic paella. There is no fish or veg glis there, purely on --
veggies in there, purely onion. Nice flavour, delicious. Amanda,
halve... What does it feel like eating food like that after your
diet, amazing? Are detox diets good for you? They are. You've got to
give your system a break. From what? From the old routine. How do
they cleanse new I'm not sure. body is very efficient as a piece
of machinery. Remember they say there is meat hanging round in you
for ten years? It is Frew! Our intestines a complex object. Well
if there is stuff hanging around in you, go for a run, do star jumps,
that's what I do. There are so many toxins in the air today that we
didn't have many years ago. The cavemen didn't have. Have what?
these toxins. How do you know that? They told me... In my dreams.
they only lived until 12. Are you doing the caveman diet? No, what is
that? Is it just meat? Anything you would eat if you were a caveman.
Dinosaurs... And I've got a personal trainer. I'm going all out.
A personal trainer, have you really? How are you getting on with
your personal trainer? Great. Mine's really good. What do you do
with your personal trainer? He's brilliant, Nick. I don't think he
likes me very much. Y because you are lazy? He makes me do things I
don't want to do, and I'm sore the next day. Star jump stphrs Lots of
running and -- star jumps, lots of running, all of that. We'll write a
book soon. Detox the star jump way. Right, we've got the rice. All
these ingredients we are adding separately and we bake it together.
Add a little sherry vinegar into there and a good glug of Spanish
extra Virgin olive oil. Sprinkle salt and pepper. Add the cherry
tomatoes, peas, artichokes. Tim, chuck in the parsley and Amanda
stir it round. Now the rice is cooked and it is open, the way it
is soft. That does smell really good. All of a sudden you get that
lovely smell and the acidity goes into the rice. You change the way
the rice behaves. Rather than it being stodgey and sweet and dry,
now you've got a lovely, delicious, and look at the colours in this.
You could add whatever you want. Chilled prawns in there would be
lovely. Chorizo would be delicious. I'm layering this with watercress.
I think this is nice to do as one big bowlful really. You are making
sure you are allowing juice to come out. A touch more of that. Finally
a bite of that. You've got the pepperyness in there. One of the
things about it is making sure you've got good ingredients
organisation so good sherry vinegar and olive oil. That's really
delicious. Very fresh. It is bizarre how a bit of vinegar on
Main course? It won't be your cup of tea, it's a lamb meatloaf,
hearty American. I am back on the meat again. As Ulster, you can get
all -- as always, you can get all of today's recipes on our website.
Now a preview of a beautifully directed programme on the subject
of child trafficking, this is Hello, this is Rosemary. Come in.
I will show you where you will be sleeping. You must be very tired.
Do you want to follow me. Come on. Keisha. What. This is Rosemary.
She's going to be staying with us for a couple of days. Another one.
When Rosemary is in the house I always want the doors locked. I
want all phones out of sight at all times. She's my only link to the
trafficker and I do not want to lose her. Then put a policeman on
the door. As far as security goes You can catch Stolen starring
Damien Lewis tonight at 9.00pm on BBC1 and BBC1 HD. Our first guest
has released his best selling books, written blockbuster movies,
presented TV shows and even tried to represent the UK at the
Eurovision Song Contest. Not busy A man of very many talents, clearly.
Welcome Danny Wallace. It's about time my music was broadcast to a
wider audience. I am pleased, at last. Did you get nil points?
went ungraded because I wasn't allowed to enter, sadly. I went to
Brussels and met the man in charge of the thing, I told him I wanted
to bring the music back to the people. What is he like, is he like
Sepp Blatter? That's a football reference and you know I don't know
what you are talking about. I will say yes if that helps in that he
has a foreign sounding name. I wanted to write a song about people
coming together. Stop the mugging, start the hugging was born.
didn't work. Good one to start on. We were discussing before the show,
you are doing so many things. What are you, Danny Wallace? If you were
to go to the dole office now what is your job description? I am a
writer. That's what I do and other stuff. My whole philosophy about it
is try and have fun and do things that are fun and try and do them
well so you get asked to have more fun later. The writing is my job.
If I am in a cab and they ask me I don't want to say so I say I work
at Argos and that kills it dead. they say how many of those free
pens do you get? They don't. That's what I would ask. It's all
automated - we are getting into specific Argoes-based... You write
a brilliant column in Shortlist about awkward situations you have
got into and people find themselves in, it's Danny Wallace is a Man.
write that. It didn't start that way. It developed into me writing
about things that would happen to me and my friends, strange
situations. Give us an example. Like I don't know how to walk
behind a woman I don't know at night. It's an awkward thing. You
immediately think, arrogantly somehow... You think about your
breathing. That they see you as a threat. You can't just go "I am not
a threat" because that seems weird and if you slow down that's odd and
speed up that's worse. I developed a technique, a jaunty whistle to
put them at their ease. That's worse. It made it into like a
horror movie. Whistle Killer! then got all of those stories made
into a book. Put them together as a book last year, Awkward Situations
For Men. Have you had awkward situations this morning? One when I
walked into the wrong room and saw Tim ironing his own shirt. I have
learned a lot about you today, you are you are terrible at Spanish, we
established that and you mainly eat ham and nuts. Actually, that's a
lie, I just eat apples now. just eat apples. Kind of, I do like
apples. Is that bad? I suppose if you are the host of a show that
involves a lot of cooking it's not ideal. It's awkward. Elliot says
are the stories in your books exaggerated for comedy effect or
genuine? They're the way I would tell them to you if if you are in
the the pub. It's the way I would tell an anecdote. I write like I
speak, but posher. That's my rule for writing. I met Dylan Jones the
other night, editor of GQ and he says you have been out to interview
Charlie Sheen. I did a little piece for GQ. Was he he sober? I brought
a $750 ticket to sheus show -- to his show which earns you ten
seconds with Charlie Sheen and I met him. Did you? I met him and it
was weird, he was doing his live tour across the States and I went
to Texas and it was a very strange show and I wasn't sure I wanted to
meet him after watching it. I knew I would have ten seconds so the
piece is about what I was going to ask him. In ten seconds? Yeah.
Brilliant and your impressions of the man and everything. And the
fans, yeah. Your book got made into - is it a sitcom? Yeah, for ABC in
America last year. It was a pilot, so you go out there and it's an
extraordinary experience in going out there with my little boy and
being on the set and the director and stuff and that brought its own
situations, to get the visa sorted I sought this thing I shouldn't
have seen, the company plying me -- flying me over said I was an actor
of international renoun and I am not. I have had a 15 second bit in
the IT Crowd and not sure that's enough. They let you in. Then they
decided they wanted it with an audience and maybe a baby. Get the
baby in there. We shot it, not the baby, I do apologise, we shot the
pilot at that stage and so it was very hard to CGI in a baby. Then
they decided that what they wanted really was female comedy, comedy
based around women and mine was called Awkward Situations For Men.
Rename it. How was your acting. looks like a proper sitcom. And
it's shot in that way and we are in yellow cabs and looks like Seinfeld
and there's me walking down the middle in my ordinary clothes. It's
a strange one, yeah. I had to act at being an actor who was good at
acting. Everything you write seems to almost turn to gold. You wrote
Yes Man which turned into a movie with Jim Carrey. You have written a
first fiction novel which is being picked up for a movie. Yeah, I
haven't really talked about this. I wrote a novel and just handed it in
and it comes out in a year and Working Title have picked it up.
It's a romantic comedy and they've made all my favourite comedies ever.
They have made Notting Hill. Four Weddings and that kind of
stuff. How jammy are you! Maybe talented and not jammy. I go for a
bit of both. The book's not even out, how do they get it? They take
it to the publishers? There's various processes involved and it
gets sent out to foreign publishers as well so they can pick it up if
they want to. What is the book about? It's about a man and a lady.
This is different. A thing that happens. Oh! Controversial. I will
wait until next year. Will you come back? This is very much a a teaser
campaign. Are you going to be playing yourself in it? I would
like to have a cameo. I did a cameo in Yes Man, maybe that's why they
thought I was an international actor, and I was standing at the
end of a bar looking very uncomfortable and out of place but
with a British pint glass. I would like to maybe try and re-create
that same cameo in any films I am able to get ever, so one day in an
infinite universe someone downloads those same films and always sees
the same man at the boar. -- at the bar. We can't go without talking
about your latest book, More Awkward Situations For Men. Is it
Is it different or same stories rehashed in posh writing. I changed
the font. It's much more stuff and I will a little boy now, so there
are elements of the situations that happens there. Being a dad. There's
the day my kid turned into a toddler, he went from a baby, into
a proper person person with kind of - either incredibly happy because I
made a ridiculous noise or incredibly sad, throwing his arms
in the air, despair because I won't let him him throw a pear out of a
window at a policeman. And how I became a star of a advertising
campaign throughout Egypt. There is a picture of me with a monkey, I
love the picture and someone in Egypt must have Googled funny
monkey, and found this, and blew it up over massive billboards over
Cairo and Luxor without telling me. What is it for? I am happy to
endorse them, the Africa Safari and Hotel Chain, no money has changed
hands for this. I am the monkey man of Egypt. You are going to hang
around and get involved with our gadgets this week. What are we
looking at, Nicki? As you can see from the stylish bicycle, Tour de
France started yesterday so we are going to be looking at the coolest
bikes on the market. Is it too late to pull out of the show? If you
want your lunch, you have to hang around. Danny will be cooking
pudding as well as that. If you have any questions for him or
Beverley you can tweet or e-mail them. We are going to be travelling
back in time now but you won't need the DeLorean, Marty McFly. I was
only interested in the hoverboard. 88 stks mph -- 88mph. Thanks for
#. Winnie Mandela never looked like a woman sentenced to years in jail.
Out on bail straightaway pending her appeal against sentence and
conviction. The organisers of last night's
Pavarotti concert in Hyde Park say the event was a huge success,
despite the heavy rain which drenched the 100,000-strong crowd.
Tonight, the Royal Albert Hall staged one of its most unusual
I don't have to stand here and justify my actions to you, next
time you can pick up your own mail. Another thing, if I find one more
of those stupid yellow notes I may not be responsible for my actions.
That was Angus Deayton. Yes. What do KLF do now? They have just
reformed actually and played a couple of gigs They burnt a couple
of million pounds, remember that? Did they though? What year was
that? 87 or 88? I think it is 87 or '88. I say 87. I'm now to see what
'88. I say 87. I'm now to see what you've cooked from last week's show.
This is Amy Lyttelton and this is their tiny dog Travis, and this is
only James Martin. Really? Look very green, those peas. They made
the crab risotto cakes, which are yummy. How big are those dog's
ears? Massive. What would you call that dog fit was yours? Come back
to me. Gary Lineker. Prince Charles. I don't know, cliche comedy. This
is Ben and Harrison. If there's a manufacturer looking for a cute kid
to endorse a product, look at his little face. Brilliant. Chocolate
swirl cake. It was Ben's 9th birthday. Kay and Sian are from
Kettering. The doggy is called Sky. Dressing up animals. What's that
Dressing up animals. What's that one there? It is a snake. No, it's
not a snake, it's got legs! It is not a snake, it's got legs! It is
some form of lizard-type beast. Is it a really large newt? We need to
know. If this is you... It's a dragon. What is it? I don't know.
We'll find out, if you were watching. There is lots of people
at home who know. Somebody is muttering in my ear. I love this, a
beautifully framed shot. Kirsty from Lincoln. That girl there with
her Cham eel onwhich you can't see, because it's blended into the
course? Lamb meat loaf. Meat and bread, right? Pretty much. It is
all leftovers. With the exception of fresh parsley I'm using dried
herbs. We've got bacon. Minced lamb, minced pork, cook off some of the
bacon. Lamb and pork, why? Because of the
fat content will hold it together. The lamb, while it is fatty, lots
of fat will come out of the lamb and it can shrink. I thought meat
loafs were made out of beef. They are, generally speaking. I think
lamb and pork is an interesting combination. We've got parsley, our
only fresh ingredients. Bacon, onion, celery, Worcestershire sauce,
do rehearsalst at 7.30am and on air I can't remember how to do this.
Surely there is an order to everything, Simon? There is, but
when you are staging it for the purposes of television it is
different. From a reality point of view you soak the bread with the
egg and the milk. Then we mash it. I will do that while you finely
chop that. I will chop the celery. Soak this for 20 minutes or so. The
milk and the egg start to break down. You need to work this quite
well so it becomes (Inaudible). How many recipes don't have an onion in
it? Only three, and they are all desserts! Mix all of that together
and really break it down. On yon is a -- onion is a good basis for most
things. If somebody in a restaurant is allergic to onions you really
struggle. Try another restaurant. It is a difficult one.
Mash all this together. Thenly chuck in our spices into there and
chuck in the mustard and the Worcestershire sauce. Amazing time
for sport at the moment isn't it? Brilliant. The fight last night.
Disappointed, are you? A bit disappointed. I really wanted David
Haye to win that. I loved the hype and the build-up. The tennis, who
do you want to win today? As a person I like Rafael Nadal. One of
the I like mostly about this Championships a picture of him in
his local supermarket shopping is, because he likes to cook. I like
Nadal. I want to go for him. Tour de France started. Did you see the
crash? No, I red about it but didn't see it. I'm not really a
summer sports person. That's a disgrace. Next year you've got the
Olympics as well. Olympics and euro 2012. A huge summer of sport. What
am I doing? Mix it all together. The simplicity of a meat loaf is it
all gets cooked together. Get your hands In goes the pork and the lamb.
Plenty of seasoning. The key to a meat loaf is loads of salt, and
particularly pepper. You are aiming to mix that so it all becomes one,
so rather than having pockets of bread and meat, you want to turn in
into a complete ingredient. The parsley gives it that fresh
grassiness. It is a much-maligned thing, meat loaf. If you go to the
United States it is everywhere, but we never have it here. We always
think it is going to be rubbish. With our leftovers we make bubble
and squeak, or Scouse in your case. That will become the national dish
come the revolution. Get right in there, Tim. I am, I can't get any
more in there, Simon! Everything's in there! A big bowl is essential,
so you can really work it. We are on the brink of that bowl being too
small. The big ter bowl the more you can get -- bigger the bowl, the
more you can get stuck in there. With the tennis I liked all of the
kit that the ballboys and line judges had. They looked really cool.
They looked really smart with the diagonal cross. I thought it was a
fantastic day. It was great. Louis Vuitton was great. How is your --
Kvitka was great. How is your tennis coming on? I was a one-
hander and I saw Nadal the other day and thought, I should should be
doing two hands. Roger and Pistol Pete are single-handed. I was
modelling my game on them. My coach thinks my weapon's my forehand. I
think it's my smile. LAUGHTER will be a long season. Now it's
mixed together, all of it goes in there. The key is to make sure
these corners are filled. hearing that animal is called a
blue-tonged skink. I've never heard of one of those before. The key is
getting it into the corners. What will happen is the meat will shrink
as it cooks. If you don't really pack it down, what will happen is
that as the meat shrinks, when you turn this out you will end up with
a meat Oval, and we want this to be really deliciously packed into the
corners. Once it's gone in, to keep more fat in it, the same way that
you could... What animal is a skink? I didn't know what it was
from the pictures, there is no point asking me now. I think it's a
2011er -- dweller of the Amazonian rainforest. What does it eat?
Bacon on top keeps it moist. We bake that for an hour. I think
somebody just made that up and tweeted it in. And we were so
paranoid that there is something we Knight not know that we've taken it
as fact. -- we might not know that we've taken it as fact. That smell
is really great. I think it is the bacon. The bacon and the herbs.
I can smell pork. And the lamb in the middle, you get that fattiness
of the lamb. That is a fantastic smell. If you want to do something
different for Sunday dinner. Let it sit for five minutes before you
carve it. That is glorious. We have a lovely big slab of our meat loaf.
With it we serve. Danny, do you want to try this? Mashed potato.
And we serve some greenery, in our case green beans. We serve it
with... Dany, as you are the face of wildlife in Egypt, what's a
skink? Have you heard of a blue- tonged skink? No, that's why I like
this show. Educational. So you get the juicy moistness that the bread
gives it. You've got bacon, pork and lamb and the spices. And it is
great cold as well. That's yummy. Meat loaf can be for every day of
the week. We are making loukoumades, Danny, as you well know. Is that
the Greek thing? It is what the blue-tongued lizards eat. They do
like loukoumades. If you want to make any of that or today's recipes,
go to our website - bbc.co.uk/somethingfortheweekend.
In your mouth, Tim. That's the same In your mouth, Tim. That's the same
address if you wants to e-mail questions for Danny Wallace or
Beverley Knight. @SFTW. Quite a racy comedy, set in their bedsit it
stars Russell Tovey and his girlfriend in Him And Her. Steve?
Why have you put your mug face down on the floor? Chuck it out if
window. You can get AIDS from a spider. I read it on a website.
a man for once in your life and get rid of the spied err. Alright, give
me that. Stand back! Stay behind me. Oh, God.
I'll deal with him in a minute when I've worked out a plan. Up side
down. You put a mug up side down, not face down. DOORBELL RINGS
Ignore him. I can't. You can meet Him And Her if you are up late on a
Wednesday at 11.15pm on BBC One. Our next guest burst on the music
scene in 1995. She's worked with the likes of Stevey wonder and
Prince. And picked up an MBE while churning out hits like these.
# Hold on to the beautiful night # There is no need to worry
# Because I won't turn on the light # Oh, I wish I had done a little
bit more # I shoulda, woulda, coulda means
I'm out of time # And I wonder, wonder what I'm
gonna do # Shoulda, woulda, could da are the
# Come as you are # Don't be shy
# Don't deny Welcome back, Beverley Night, you
played with Prince, what was he like? Absolutely mind-blowing,
there are no words. It was incredible. The whole thing was
like did this really happen? It was like a dream. Didn't he fly you to
LA? He did. I didn't know why I was going. I was told it's a meeting,
but when I got there I realised it was Oscars weekend, I thought
what's going on? Yeah, it turned out he wanted me there to sing at
his Oscars party. Have you been to the purple Palace? I haven't yet,
because the home in LA was rented house, but I am waiting. Have you
spent time with him socially, did you get to hang out with him?
I got there he called me at the hotel, I was like this because it
was the jet-lag had kicked in. We chatted on the phone for a good 20
minutes and I was like, yeah, yeah, wake up! But then the next day when
it was Oscars party day and the Oscars we kind of spent time
together talking music, he was playing me demos. Is he a laugh?
is, honestly. Does he wear that stuff in his normal outfits or
tracksuits or stuff. He does not dress down. The way - it's like he
kind of full fills everything you want him to, to be honest. He is
not like going up the shop in my trackies. He is totally - that's
him all the time. 17 years you have been around, we were talking about
it. You have had an incredibly long year. I --. A long career. I do
feel grateful and humbled. It's the fans who have done it and they're
amazing. It's been quite an incredible career I have had.
that time how has the music industry changed for you? You have
a few things to say about the way things have gone of late. I always
have something to say! Me and my opinions. Yeah, I have seen so many
revolutions really in how music, not only is bought, but how it's
actually received. Back in the day when I started Top of the Pops was
a massive event. We haven't even got that any more. In fact, we
hardly have any music shows, apart from Jools Holland which is a
delight for any musician, you get to play live. In the past decade
more or less, we have seen shows like X Factor come up and I worry
about shows like that because... You have been outspoken about it
recently. Didn't you call it a monstrosity or something? It's the
machine that I find so, oh my God, you know, it's overwhelming. These
kids go in, they're like yes I want to do it and I am like do you
really understand the industry? Do you know what you are getting into?
Do you know that folk at home in auditions spend time laughing and
stuff like that? I think it's so... When you got into the industry you
didn't know, so they've come in. They've sailed in at a level where
it's like everybody's going to watch you make your mistakes, your
triumphs, everything. The ones who make it, there's very few. On one
hand. Leona Lewis. It was a great way for her to get through.
Arguably, she was going to get through anyway, because a voice
like that, that comes through and I would put Alex Burke in the same
category. Fantastic. Love her. When people like that come along they
rarely get ignored. It's like OK, Alex and Leona and there's tens of
thousands of others who end up on the telly, everybody knows them and
they fade away. They're set up for a fall basically. A lot of the time.
It's tough for the music companies now, the labels, they can't invest
in someone like Leona because they don't make money out of record
sales. By getting them on X Factor people will buy it, it's a quick-
fix for them as well. It is a quick-fix scenario for them and if
I am wearing my record label hat I can understand that. But my concern
is first and foremost for the people who go on it because of the
way the show is. It's a great TV show, it's good to watch, but
because of the more serious element of it being part and parcel of the
music industry, that's when I can see the cracks. That's when I see
the problems. If you don't understand an industry you are
getting into in any way, shape or form and you go in at top drawer,
your first tour is Wembley arena, for example, it's overwhelming and
if you make any tiny error, everybody gets to see it. That's
concerning. I made all my mistakes along the way. Maybe they should do
a show where they go and look at everybody after they've been on
these shows and see what they're doing and how their lives are good
or bad. The after effect. Let's do it! Let's talk about your music.
You are doing an album of cover versions. It has more depth, it has
a concept. Yes, it's me covering some of the great British songs
that we have either forgotten about or forgotten about careers of the
people who have done it. I am trying to celebrate them. It's like
my love letter to these guys who enabled me to have the career that
I have got. They paved the way. They're your inspirations.
Absolutely. Run through some of the acts. At the big end of the scale
we have got the amazing George Michael, who I absolutely love and
I have done his track One More Try. You have Jamiroquai and with both
those guys sometimes we forget their back catalogue and how
amazing they are. Sometimes the personal life gets talked about a
lot. Then you go along and I have people like Omar, a British soul
stalwart. You have Jacqui Graham from Wolverhampton and songs that
came out when I was little and I remember, Soul II Soul, of course.
It's a mix. Junior is the single. # At the time he couldn't
understand # Mama used to say
# Take your time young man # Don't you rush
# Mama used to say This remind me of Soul Train which
we used to tune into. I used to fancy Geoffrey Daniels. What's the
name of the album? It's Soul UK. Does what it says on the tin.
totally does. Thank you so much. Beverley is going to stay around
for the rest of the show. You want to see her shoes. Huge. You can
tweet or e-mail us with any questions.
There's loads to come on the show, including all of this.
Joni Mitchell hung out there, it was the Troubadour Club. I thought
she was Shakespeare reinkarpbated. Simon is cooking a deluxe fish
finger sandwich. It's the last chance to see the
tortured Luther. Danny Wallace has joined Simon and
me in the kitchen. Writing comedy, acting. There's no end to your
talents. Cooking. I can't remember what you were like last time.
terrific. What have you cooked since? I cooked loukoumades. Funny
enough we are doing them again just because you are back. Do you know
loukoumades? I never met him. A little joke there there! I have
seen Simon do a similar thing before. So, I am aware of it, but I
would like to know how to make it. Thank you. That's a nice intro. The
sauce, we have lemon, honey, water and sugar. The loukoumades are
fundamentally a donut, a fried batter thing. We have flour sifted
well, honey, warm water, salt and yeast. So, Mr Wallace, if you would
like to dip in the salt and yeast, spoon. As you stir, gradually add
the water. You are trying to avoid it being too lumpy really. Got you.
We are just three guys hanging out making pudding. It's what we do.
Awkward situation. I went a little bit bit gloopy there. You are
trying to mix this together without it being too lumpy, but equally
without beating the life out of the flour because they'll become too
stiff. Honey in there for flavour. As you talk about men's issues,
where are you with man hugs? I am all for man hugs. I enjoy man hugs,
I encourage them. You struggle, don't you? What do we do now.
Remain like this for a while. finding it uncomfortable. It's the
back pressure is a tricky thing. It's having a conversation doing it
which is even weirder. We have to cook at some point. To actually do
it now, it's like what do you do, a little press like that. A little
press is nice. That was unnerving, Tim. It made me feel strange.
Tim will enjoy, is just hold hands while cooking and do this for a
little while. As a man I feel really uncomfortable. I hope some
people have just turned on right now. I will let you go. That was
uncomfortable. I enjoy your discomfort. Because it's weird.
It's only because we don't do it. We are getting into a dangerous
area now. Do you greet someone like you, good friends, it's easy to do
that. You have to do that or this or hug. Or that. The tennis,
doubles yesterday. They do that one. We are still cooking, aren't we?
Speaking of which, what happens, we cover that and let that sit. I will
have to go back to this, when is the time to do it and not hug, when
do you make that decision? You have to judge the other person. It's
also like - do you do the thing it's been the end of the night you
have had terrific fun at a bar or restaurant and you go outside you
go it's been great, see you soon. See you later and you both walk off
in the same direction and you have to do the same thing and you are
judging the other person, you go if he goes left I will have to double
back. With this, we covered this and the yeast has done its magic
and it's fizzy and it's puffed up beautifully. Normally with any
batter what you do is you do what you call knocking back, get some of
this air out. You don't do that with loukoumades. What we want to
do, if you have a deep fat frier, fry these at about 160-180. Where
am I? Now, the sauce. Zest a bit of lemon. The rest of the sauce goes
in like that. You do find it uncomfortable, always. I don't know
when to do it and not. In that case just do it all the time. If what's
worrying you is when it's correct, just do it to everyone. OK. I will
try that. Even policemen and everything. Especially policemen,
yeah. What about kisses on text messages, are they acceptable to
send to other men? Not like your accountant or anything. I had to
write an angry e-mail to the council once and I was using words
I wouldn't normally use and I was angry, I was impressed with myself
and when I sent it I thought something's not right and I looked
and I had popped a little kiss at the end and I thought that probably
undermined the point I was trying to make. I think it's changed,
though. It has for you. I quite like it. Happens all the time, in
the phorpb -- mornings when we are here everyone hugs and kisses,
apart from you. I don't mind. All this lemon zest into the sauce. The
sauce, we put honey, water, we put soft light brown sugar. We have
loads of sweetness in all of this. Now we are turning it into...
Turning it into what? Fruitiness. We squeeze the lemon in. You are
laughing at how uncomfortable I was. I am going to cradle you to sleep
tonight. I reckon there's a lot of people at home thinking I am in the
same boat as Tim. Really? I think mate Lee Boardman was on, I gave
Lee a hug, like you do, and Tim went,, "Whoa!" And yet you are in
there ironing your shirt. I have to embrace your Metro sexuality.
like to think I am a metrosexual, but I'm not enamoured with the
hugging. Now, fish those out and pop them on the kitchen roll to
take away the excess fat. You want them slightly more golden than that
but these will be delicious nonetheless. Here we've got a
combination of icing sugar and cinnamon. This will smell like any
American interior design store. do they make them smell of
cinnamon? I've never thought about that. We layer up our beautiful
loukoumades, which are piping hot, nice and sweet. Then we pour over
this incredible pistachio honey and lemon sauce. Another dusting of
this and a touch of Greek yoghurt on the top. Dig They are going to
be warm, chaps. How many people on average die immediately after
eating one of these? A fairly high percentage. Coming up, Wayne
Collins's whisky cocktails and Beverley will be cooking a final
dish with us. A fish finger butty. I'm desperate to try some of this.
Oh, wow! Oh, God! A deep-fried sweet. What's not to like? That's
great. Now I'm uncomfortable. great. Now I'm uncomfortable.
Another man hug. And now me and you. Guess the year that all these
things happen in Deja View. LAUGHTER
# It's 3am, 3am, eternal # KLF is gonna rock ya
# Ancients of Mumu # Winnie Mandela never looked like a
woman just sentenced to six years in jail, out on bail.
organisers of last night's Pavarotti concert in Hyde Park say
the event was a huge success despite the heavy rain which
drenched the 100,000 strong crowd. Tonight the Royal Albert Hall
stages the grand Sumo tournament. # KLF (uh-huh, uh-ha uh-ha)
# Ancients of MuMu # TELEPHONE RINGS
Yes! What? No, I don't want to subscribe to Which?. I don't
believe it! That was Deja View with the KLF.
it. (Uh-huh, uh-ha uh-ha) Can you name the year they were at number
one? Winnie Mandela was imprisoned and Pavarotti was in the Park.
was around the time I left school, in 2001. I think it was early '90s.
Wayne, any idea? Late '80s. We'll find out for sure in approximately
18 minutes' time. First, Wayne is here to titillate us with some
here to titillate us with some cocktails. What's on the menu?
American Independence Day tomorrow so we've got American whisky, a
good old but bon. And cherry- infused. Isn't whisky Irish? The
water of life. I'm alive! Historically the Americans probably
wouldn't have started with American whisky but for the war of
independence. There was a tax on rum and on mead, but the Irish
immigrants started the whisky production in America. So they can
thank us. This is a cherry smash, a classic American drink using whisky,
mint and sugar, with new flavours in it as well. Fresh cherry. A
double slug of the black cherry- infused but bon. That's that?
hammer, a few gimmicks now and then. You don't have one of them, Tim, at
your party house. At my cocktail house. He'll make one. A wedge of
orange and mint leaves, and fresh lemon juice, a drizzle of sugar to
sweeten. This is all raw ingredients, so it's perfect for a
detox diet. What exercises do you do with your personal trainer?
of weights, squats, and I've been walking funny, funny strange, not
funny ha-ha. Lots of resistance training with bands and stuff.
Outside? In the park, yes. Did you wants to come and join in? I like
running. Just running. apparently short bouves running is
much better than one hour of running. I like running Forrest
Gump running. Yeah, just getting in and running. It clears the head,
just like this will clear our head. The mint and the cherries,
wonderful. A cherry garnish with a sprig of mint for perfume. That's a
real classic smash whisky, with fresh cherry in there. And cherry
but bon as well. What do you think? What do you know? Did you know
what? It's absolutely gorgeous but I would drink that in 12 seconds
flat, because it is so sweet it tastes like a fizzy drink. It is
amazing. Oh, wow! That's a real girl's drirk. You really like it,
Tim. It is like a sherb efforts. That's the lemon mixed with the
fresh cherries -- like a Cher Bert. That's the lemon mixed with the
fresh cherries. Lemon and sugar, runny00y. They used to make a form
of mea dfrpblgts It sounds dangerous. -- a form of mead. It
sounds dangerous. Green apple likor is like a Granny Smith and a shot-
and-a-half of wheated but bon for a different texture to it. This is
based on a sour but adding the apple liqueur and the honey.
But bon, I'm often asked what it is. It is how it's made, not where it
comes from. It is leaking all over the place. Thank for, that Wayne.
Don't waste it. How is it made then? They use different cereals,
corn predominantly plus a bit of rye and bar limit but bon can be
made anywhere in America but Kentucky has the rights to the name
but bon. What are you calling this you used to suck as a kid. That's
really good. Thank you so much. If you wants to make either of these
fris Kiwis I can cocktails the recipes are -- either of these fris
This is the Troubadors: The Rise of # They won't give us a chance
# It was just a dream # I wouldn't want to stay here
# It's too old and cold and settled in its ways here
# But California, California had me coming home. #
Joni Mitchell. I thought she was Shakespeare reincarnated. So many
of the people that would consider California music didn't come from
here. People like Joni Mitchell, who was Canadian, took an outside
look at what was going on in America and took her own particular
values and situations and put them into personal songs. I think it
really expanded the way people thought about writing. That was one
of the biggest contributions to the music at the time.
# California, oh, California # Had me coming home
# Make me feel good, rock 'n' roll band
# I'm your biggest fan # . We were living at Laurel Canyon
at her house. It was a wonderful time. Just great. We travelled a
lot. She sang beautifully and several songs of mine I played on
that album of hers. We had a great time. It was terrific. Too good to
Looks great, that. You can get down with the Troubadors on Friday at
9.00pm on BBC Four. Now it is time for our gadgets. What have we got
today? We've got some bikes, because of the Tour de France.
love the Tour de France. How did this happen! If you want to hold
hands through the sides, I know you hands through the sides, I know you
two are bosom buddies now. I'm going to be walking round as you
two pedal. Danny, do you like cycling? I've bought a bike but
it's being sent round soon. It was late-night Prime Minister. I have
had a glass of win. You bought one on-line? Isn't that how you buy
bikes? You've got the glittery bike and the ladies' helmet. I feel like
I'm in a spin class. This is by a Japanese designer. Lots of
attention to to deDale. There's a leopard print one which is sold out.
This is what the fashionistas are wearing. This one is �68. The one
you have that there is the emotion Are you secretly pretending to be
cool but there's a lot of competition going on here?
can't pretend to be cool wearing this ladies' hat. They've injected
a bit of macho there to counter balance the hat. Their �19.99 and
made of goatskin leather. Safety first, we've got reflective sashes
for you as well. Are you more of a sprinter or a hill rider? Have
you stopped? No, I'm a sprinter. I'm like Cavendish. These are
probably both a bit feminine because of the pink. I've never
really put a sash on before. This is a play on the Miss Board. This
one is the striped Zune but it comes in stars and candy cane. Tim
looks like he's about to go off raving. It is by a company called
Cycladeic. And we've got cuffs for tow wear. Am I being punked right
now. What's going on? It does feel Can I wear all this home? These are
reflective cuffs. This one is �14. The one Tim has is �19. I am not
having these. You look terrific. It's not very practical. I am not
having it. We have had hugging and hand holding and now... Pink
accessories. The gadgets now. Danny, I will let you model this one. This
is a HD helmet-cam. Pop it over your head. This is going to get
messy. It is. Which bit? This way is easier. Whilst you are putting
that on, we have footage that we filmed earlier. This is people
going through some traffic. This is what we actually filmed. There's
filming in the city there. You can see the picture you get. It's a
great lens on it. It comes with a durable shockproof and outerproof
casing. I am a respected author. Yeah, but you know, you have a fun
side. How much is that one? �299. Come on, I was told to keep going.
Have we got much time? We haven't. I am being rushed. Bike signals
here. It does what it says on the tin, well it should do. Hopefully
it will work. If you press that, there we go. A right signal. Talk
us through this one. This is kind of my favourite. This is the Veleau
hydration system. As you can see, the straw goes through there,
attached to the saddle, into your mouth. When you are finished if you
let go it has retractable cord which pulls it back into place.
you cycle backwards it provides a colonic. That's a handy feature!
Who won? Probably a draw. What! Thanks. If you want more
information on any of that bike stuff you can e-mail us and we will
get back with all the details. This is the big one, this is the last
time this series he will be stalking around and solving crimes
with instinct and intuition, this Good news is we found this laptop.
What's the bad news? We need to find a password, wait until you see
It will take weeks. It's not right, is it? How? Well, I mean, in order
for it to work you need the exact book. You get another edition.
this is all secondhand junk shop copies. How are you going to get an
Gideons bible, there's one of these in every hotel room in the country.
The key to breaking that code is in You can watch the final episode of
Luther on Tuesday at 9.00pm. Now Beverley is in the kitchen. Do you
cook, Beverley? I do. I kind of watched my mum and my dad, my late
dad, cooking in the kitchen and kind of copied them. Me and my
sister and my brother all did the same. Mostly west Indian. You are a
dab hand with the knife then. Will she need to get the chopping skills
out? I have always been surrounded by people who cooked, my dad and
mum, grandmothers and blah-blah- blah, if you are surrounded by it
it's not a big issue. It's weird when you hear people say I never
cook and you find out their parents didn't and you can see why. My mum
cooked, but I am still useless. don't believe you. You say that.
am getting better. What are we cooking today? Something that's
indulgeent, a fish finger buttie. Sounds posh. Sundays you get away
with something cheeky. Spring onions, smoked salmon and salmon.
You could use any finish you want, to be honest. Haddock would be a
nice combination. English mustard, mayo and capers. We will roll the
fish fingers in breadcrumbs and salmon. It's a fatty fish, salmon.
You want it as fine as you can get it. You could actually do this in a
food processer. You could put it in and whizz it up so it becomes like
a pate. But it's nice to hand chop it. It really is fishy fingers then.
It's definitely fishy fingers right now. It's just lovely, that thing
of chopping it all up. It's fish and breadcrumbs. You don't have
anywhere to go after this, tkefrly -- Beverley? Actually I am going to
a festival later to see Prince, so I better wash my hands. You are
going to see Prince, on a personal level? I am going to be hearing him
play with 50,000 others, so I am excited about that. On your new
album, what's your favourite track? What was the one that had to be on?
One of the first ones I recorded Fair Play and after that Southern
Freeze, I thought OK they've got to be on. These are songs I remember
and love from childhood. Certainly The Soul II Soul track, I remember
wishing I was old enough to go to the clubs and do my thing, but I
wasn't. We were talking about that earlier, 17 years you have been in
the industry, which is a lifetime in the music industry really. This
is your 7th album. That's right. you have a favourite so far, a baby
album? I don't. Every time that anybody asks me that it changes.
Who I am, I am really grateful for, I am proud of the songs and the
writing on that and that was the one that broke me out into the
wider mainstream. I don't know if any one of them is my baby, as such.
You love them all equally. I do, they're my children. Do you have a
favourite moment? You have had the moments with Prince, Stevie Wonder
moments, and what was this about Nelson Mandela, did you sing for
him? It was the most amazing thing that I was asked to sing for Nelson
Mandela. It was a tiny private dinner for his children's aids
foundation and I was asked along to sing. I stood up at the table and
just sang. Is that one of those moments you think back and think
this can't really be happening? really do. I think to myself just
this girl from Wolverhampton who had a big dream about having a
career in music and it came true. It came true in the most amazing
way. Grateful for every day. That's your favourite moment apart from
chopping salmon on Something For The Weekend. And trying desperately
to concentrate to get it right! have lots of salt and pepper in
there. It gets worse now in terms of fishy fingers. All of the salmon
goes in. Then, similar to the meatloaf before, we mix this
together. This is really only one way and that is physically do that.
You are almost using your hands then as a processer to mash it
together. I will do it for you, I am feeling generous. You don't want
to meet Prince later and him going she was nice when I met her, but
she's smellly, to be honest. Then you get a little bit of the fish
and you simply smash it into fish fingers. It's sticking together
because there's so much fat in the salmon. A bit of that. It doesn't
matter they're rough and lumpy, that's fine. You are not going to
do one now, I can sense it. I am going to do it. You don't have to,
I won't be 15ed. We really -- won't be offended. Into flour and egg.
They're delicate at this stage. We combine the breadcrumbs and polenta.
Once you coat them put them in the fridge so they set. At the moment
they're very soft. So in the frying pan they would fall apart. You have
avoided that, Beverley Knight. have to ask you this, you have got
a couple of pair of shoes at home, and we asked people to guess, they
guessed 200, 300. There is some of them, the camera didn't have a wide
enough Lens! How many shoes do you own? Drums, please. North of 450
pairs. That was some of the the boxes piling up paoeupbd the
clothes -- behind the clothes. much money would that cost over the
years? I don't even know, probably a deposit on the house. Quickly,
the sauce, because we are running out of time. These go into the
frying pan for 4-5 minutes. Sauce, we have capers and gherkins in
first of all, then add mayo, English mustard, then we add our
capers in there. We mix that around. We have salt, we have pepper. The
nice thing about having a little bit of mustard there you get this
nice colour. Amanda, could you do me a lovely flavour, bring out our
fishy fingers. To serve this we have bread, thick white sliced,
gorgeous bread, from magnificent northern bakeries. A couple of
fishy fingers sit in there like that. A little bit of rocket to
make it look like we are being posh. Bread on top. Finally, cut that
fella in half and we just about managed it. This is such a dish you
are going to eat, Beverley. Over to Tim and Danny for the Deja View
The headlines, music was KLF and the year was? 1991. We haven't a
lot of time left. People have been asking about your cult Join Me, if
it's still going and you have your country? People still join.
Beverley is now looking at me that I might be odd. It's good, people
do random acts of goodness on a Friday. December we do a big thing
where people get together and do random acts of kindness on the
streets. Excel Excellent. Thanks to Beverley and Danny. Next week we
have Denise van Outen and Simon Callow show and talking to the F F1
Live cooking, the best of this week's TV and celebrity chat to set up your Sunday. This week Tim Lovejoy, Amanda Byram and chef Simon Rimmer are joined by comedian Danny Wallace and British soul diva Beverley Knight.