11/09/2011 Something for the Weekend

Good morning. It's Something for the Weekend on Sunday 11th

September. Our first guest joining us live in the studio today is

Irish rocker, honorary knight and celebrity Bob Geldof. And Russell

Kane. We'll cook, chat, drink, make cocktails and look at next week's

telly. This is Something for the Weekend.

Welcome indeed to Something for the Weekend. It is a poignant day today

in terms of world history. 9/11. It doesn't seem ten years ago does it?

No. I was working at Xfm, on a radio show, I remember having to

prepare for that. I went to the mercury music awards, PJ Harvey won

that year and again in year. It is funny how it has come round again.

What were you doing? I was in Durham. A cookery demonstration.

About 30 people showed up. It seemed really inappropriate.

Everything seemed inappropriate. Was on a radio tour. We went to

radio stations to promote the record. All anybody was doing was

watching the TV and seeing how things were going to unfold. Yeah,

not very good was it? Very scarey. I'm going to New York on Wednesday.

Will it be interest position be there around the time of 9/11. Two

days. Other things which are happening this week, we've got the

Rugby World Cup. That started. So every time you turn your TV on

you've got somebody going... Doing the haka. Just like that! Just like

that! Stick your tongue out. I have not watched any of it really. I'm

not a rugby fan, as people know. I'm not really into those minority

sports. I'm more for foot. Yesterday in honour I had a Kiwi

Burger.? Honour of the rugby? It who cheese and salady-type

things, an egg, beetroot and pineapple. Nice. They do eat them a

lot down in Kiwi-land, and in Australia I believe. It was

delicious. In honour of it. That's good of you. And the other thing

which happened this weekend is Strictly is back on TV. I get

excited when Strictly comes on. There's the ladies and here's all

the men. Robbie Savage - brilliant. Donovan's got it hasn't he! He's

got it! I think it is going to be a really fun series. A lot of

characters are in there. Do you? know you clearly don't, Tim. There

is only one man who knows who is going to win that and that is

Russell Grant. He can tell what's going on can you believe he's made

a career out of pretending to know your future? I don't know if we

should say "pretending". He believes he can see your future.

We'll sit him down and say, "You tell us who is going to win this

tournament." Do you believe in the stars? I'm going to annoy people.

do a little bit. What are you? I change every week. I'm a Gemini at

the moment. I decided on Monday. I was Capricorn. I have twin

daughters and their personalities are so different, which prove this

is can't be, there is proof there that it can't work. They... It is

clever they manage to always write it that it could apply to so many

millions of people. They never say, "You're going to have a bad week."

They say, "You're going through a change." Or Stay in bed on

Wednesday." Brilliant. Russell Grant, well see what his future

entails on Strictly. One of the most preciously intelligent acts on

the comedy scene is here today, Russell Kane. He's here to tell us

about his new show, Manscaping. And how his personal life shaichs his

act. He is a dine -- shapes his act. He is a dynamic performer. Plus

Boomtown Rat Bob Geldof will be chatting about his upcoming tour.

Wift be impossible to have him on without talking about Band Aid and

Live Aid. You should see his skills on the trampoline. It is really

impressive. He's got a few tricks in his locker. If you have any

questions, e-mail us or tweet us at @SFTW. Tell us your name if you are

going to send a tweet or an e-mail, so we know who you are, and stuff.

Simon, what are we making today? Russell Grant already knows what we

are making... Guys, please, I'm not having this the whole show! Until

he is knocked out, "But he knew that!" He isn't going to bother

training on Tuesday. Four tantalising dishes. Roasted squash

and pesto bake. It is a really nice, delicate flavour. Sometimes goats

cheese can be overpowering. This is a creamed goats cheese. The main

course is cod and smoked langoustine tails. These are one of

the most delicious things we've ever had on the show. I did a food

awards a few months ago and this they are divine. Absolutely

delicious. Penultimately we are doing Dublin Coddle with Bob Geldof,

who claims it is a made-up dish. was quite funny, that moment.

fundamentally a Luton Airported, backed breakfast dish, which I was

told originated in Dublin. Apparently it originated in my head.

And then dessert today is a classic swiss roll, we'll do that with

Russell. Look at that art we've created today. I like the

specifically-placed raspberries. did that sprinkling. That was me

doing that. Lover. That there you go. Our recipes are on our website

- bbc.co.uk/somethingfortheweekend. Here's what else is coming up for

you today. It is a perilous line of work for

the bomb squad. There should be an explosion, just a pop, that's it.

There's Jurassic CGI in Planet Dinosaur.

And Rhod and Greg drive The World's Most Dangerous Roads.

Just keep on this side but don't let him push you off the road.

There is loads packed into the next 90 minutes. Wayne, you are skising

- I can't even look at him - a decade into two cocktails.

fashion world is inspired by the '40s revival, with older glamour.

Today we'll be talking about what we were drinking in the 1940s.

Delectable drifrpbgs. He looks good doesn't he? -- drinks. He looks

good, doesn't he? It is London Fashion Week on Friday. Are you

going? I'm away this week, so no. So you are not doing any of the

shows? No, not this time. Can I have your tickets? I'm not sure I

have any, but if I have any... We'll be throwing with Mr Rimmer.

We'll be throwing with Mr Rimmer. What are we making? This is a baked,

layered dish with squash and pesto. It is one of those things that have

nice flavours. Onions are cooking. Sun-blushed tomatoes, pecorino

cheese. A pesto of basil, garlic, olive oil, pine nuts and pecorino.

A soft, creamy goats cheese and an egg. Layered up, simple flavours.

We make them in ramekins and serve them as a onoff. It is great for

your new-found cooking skills, Lou. Yes! Into the bowl, both cheeses,

crack an egg and beat them together. The egg means that it sets. It is

purely to help set it all. OK. I sustained an injury this week,

two injuries, a running injury, hamstring. And yesterday I was in

the park with the kids and I got -- a conker fell out of the tree,

smacked me on the head and really, really hurt. LAUGHTER It went bam!

If you don't have any hair it bounced off? It stuck in. Did you

play conkers at school? Yeah. you heat them up and put them in

vinegar? I did that as well. I put them in vinegar and put them in the

oven. I think I did that with my grandparents. If yours was a

threeer or a sixer and you played someone with a five, yours became

an eighter and you took their points as well. You've had people

walking around with a 116er. Good days. It should come back. My kids

love collecting conkers. Aren't they banned now? From taking them

to school? Health and safety. Not at our school. Basil, garlic. Cut

the edges off the pecorino and grate it. It is quite a strong

smell, this. It is a nice smell, because it is a subtle goats cheese.

Goats cheese is overpowering. with this? It is a fine grater that.

Would you have gone for a coarser grater? I would have just put in

lumps. You could do that but it never breaks down. We want it to

come together, so the finer it is grated, the better. I went to an

open-air cinema. I would love to do that. It is not really good in

England, because it rained What did you do? Sat there with our coats

and brolly above us. It was good though. It was Grease. It was funny,

because everyone sings along and claps. Where was that? Chiswick

House? West London. It was very entertaining. But the moral story

of Grease is awful isn't it? The ind. Smoke cigarettes to get the

man, dress in a leather jacket. good morals. Some of their

behaviour was awful. Ken Clarke doesn't need to go further than

Travolta and Olivia Newton-John really to know what's wrong with

our youth. I did think it was clean cut and then I remembered bits of

the film, and I had kids. They said, "PG" I was embarrassed. Pepper in

there, whizz that around. As it is going, drizzle at a gentle rate.

This is really all about... You didn't put the pine nuts in there.

Lou, this is all about Assembly. Onions, pumpkin, pepper and sun-

blushed tomatoes. Spoon half the onions into the base of our dish.

a handful, probably half of the tomatoes. All of this in? All of it,

mates. Because we are using this as a bit of a sauce, you want it all

to come together. Why just half of everything? It is not really

filling up. What isn't? The dish. It will, Lou. It will. Dribble half

our pesto. Now we are getting more flavour and nice colours. Spoon

half the cheese. You can sprit or dollop it. As it cooks it -- you

can dollop it. There is nothing holding it together other than the

egg. I can't see you enjoying this, Tim. I like squash but I'm not

really into goats cheese. Fine, so one out of the six ingredients you

like! I like pesto. I'm looking forward to trying it. This is our

veggie dish of the day, so if you don't endorse it, it is a sad state

of affairs. I'm feeling quite defensive about it now, "Don't

worry your pretty little head, I'll do it myself!" You've completely

taken over my role. Spoon the rest of that on. I love the smell of

pesto. And finally, we sprinkle on the pecorino. Maybe a bit generous

on the first layering Lou. Was I? Just a tad. I didn't know we were

thought we was saving some. That's what I said, it is not filling up.

I thought the word "half" was a clue. If you had given me a heads

layer so you cover it, and as it breaks the except sit. You could do

this in advance this week. No, you are working away this week. Lovely,

thanks. That goes into the oven, and then what we end up with is

this. That smells delicious. All we do, the big scoop of this. It does

look lovely. I am going to pretend it is healthy by putting some

lettuce alongside it. Feel free to begin, Tim! You don't get an

overpowering flavour of goat's cheese. It doesn't. Yes, lovely.

It's is just a subtle flavour that works well with tomatoes. What is

the main course? Cod with langoustines from Scotland. All of

today's recipes are on the website. This is a new two part documentary

following bomb disposal officer Adam and their team on tour in

Afghanistan. Everything they do is filmed and the tension is

unbearable as we watched the day- to-day work of The Bomb Squad.

Adam will try to cut the wire, but Start getting ready to move. Just

watch the cables. There should be a pop, not an explosion. The wire at

his court but it does not mean the bomb is now safe. The device is

placed to target an individual and is based on what they do, where

they go, what time they go for, what they torch. As soon as we find

a way to counter that, they try to change it and introduce something

else. We are like, they have developed this now, and it is a

game of cat and mouse. It is ongoing. There will be times when a

new device is discovered, and in a lot of instances it will involve

someone being injured before we have established what it is.

Everything we do is watch closely in order that we can be targeted in

the future. You can watch The Bomb Squad on

Tuesday at 10:35pm on BBC One. first guest is the driving force

between Band Aid and Live Aid, but he first burst of fame as the lead

singer of the Boomtown Rats. He is now back with a critically-

acclaimed albums, including this Ash so today is the day we are

going to come and declare our victory. Just you and me and our

Silly Pretty Thing. You silly pretty little thing now. Welcome to

Something For The Weekend, a very bouncy Bob Geldof. For get the

music, let's discuss your trampolining career. That was

amazing! That is what I am going to do on stage as well. Forget music,

I am just going to get a trampoline. So, her new album out. Exciting

times for you to be releasing a new album now? I mean that is what you

do, but I do music all the time, I play all the time. New songs, the

impulse to music occurs infrequently, and when it does I do

an album. Much to my dismay, people like it. You never think about it

really but they like it and you think that is nice. Say you go

through stages without writing music? It's not that I don't want

to, but I do other stuff. At a certain time it presses on you. I

know it sounds weird, but it does. It pushes and there is this impulse

towards picking up the guitar and then it just comes out. 32 songs in

this case. Do you lock yourself away and do it as and when you feel

like it? You don't set time aside? Unfortunately I don't have to set

times but it does come, there is this sort of dam burst, and I

suppose part of you is collecting sentences and ideas in your

subconscious. Ultimately that demands to be out and that is what

happens. I go to my friend's Place, Pete who still plays for me, and he

knows how to use this stuff. We sit in his bedroom like kids and we

construct it from there. The album has not got a theme to it, it is an

eclectic mix. It is because there are 32 tracks that I recorded and I

can't tell which are the ones... Obviously they are all works of

genius, which is what you were saying earlier. "why isn't it a

tribute album?" for that is what I said! He play it to people and

ultimately you distil it down to 10, 10 that are for some reason what

you want to here, what feels like you at that moment. Like a man

doing paintings in the gallery, he made do many but he only shows 10

because that is what he wants to be at that time. You distil it down to

10, and when you hear it back it is right. As a result, having done 30

songs, the net result is that they would be from all over the place

musically but there is one central feeding to it. When you tour, do

you do Boomtown Rats? Of course because it is 35 years of writing

songs. Some of that work at the moment, they are just songs to me

so I do a lot of them. The Boomtown Rats were massive when I was a kid

but Live Aid was so much bigger than it, that it has eclipsed your

music career. I remember seeing on Top Of the Pops ripping up posters

of Olivia Newton-John and people being enraged by it, Boomtown Rats

were massive but Live Aid has eclipsed it. That is because

millions of people watched Top Of the Pops but the vast bulk of the

population didn't, but the vast bulk of the population participated

in Live Aid. It was practically the entire country, royal wedding plus,

and everybody contributed. When you are buying a Boomtown Rats record,

I don't want this to sound like an old man, but to get there we have

to sell 690,000 records to get there. It has changed a lot.

Monday's was one of the best- selling records, even do They Know

It's Christmas sold a million out of a population of 52, but nearly

all of that 52 watched Live Aid. It dwarfs everything you do and you

have got to live with that. Music was quite political back then. I

have got to tell you this - my kids were so excited to meet you today

because at school they were asked to do a project. They had to choose

between three people - Oskar Schindler's, Dr Barnardo or you -

it is fantastic, isn't it? My kids would be mortified at pictures of

me picking my nose! The news about that was quite political. Music

these days, is it as political, do you think? Could somebody do what

you did now? Certainly the conditions. I am desperate and

waiting for the voice that grabs this moment and somehow you just

feel it is Absalom be right. That is what it feels like to be alive

now in these conditions. You have got to remember when the punk thing

exploded, it was similar, unemployment, the economy was

changing to a service economy and the reaction of young people coming

out of school was "where's the jobs?" back in the 60s there were

people like the Rolling Stones, like the Beatles, saying what is

this? I am waiting for that and I listen to a lot of new music.

Sometimes it is suggested but they never quite nail it. I am not

talking about overt political songs, they are boring, but when

rock'n'roll can still articulate its time it is a powerful thing.

You get a voice, a time to say something and be heard. You might

not even know what it is about. I saw a clip of I Don't Like Mondays

and most people thought that was about going to work on Monday after

a hard weekend. In fact it was about something else, but it was

during a time of a lot of strikes in Britain so the engineers unions

went on strike every Monday and asked if they could use it for

their banners. It is what is suggested by an idea, and that is

why sometimes this minor art form of pop music is bigger than is

suggested by some television programmes like the X Factor.

you got into music, did you ever think you would have as much power

through the music that you have actually had? On the first

interview I ever did it was with the New Musical Express, and they

said do you want to be famous? I said yes, and they said that is a

bit naff. I said I want to use the platform to talk about things that

bother me, and that was 1976. have got a brilliant clip to show

later. It will be mortally embarrassing. Do I look good?

Otherwise I want to see it now! are talking to Margaret Thatcher,

hammering her and going. We will share that later. I will be talking

more with Bob Geldof later in the show. You have just made it up!

There is still time to send any of your questions on Twitter, and also

for the comedian Russell Kane. is time to peel back the years now.

You don't need to sing the lyrics, you don't need to name the actors,

even know the stories behind the headlines, you just need to name

It was, said the Queen, the beginning of a new and historic

journey for the Scottish people. She was speaking as the first

Scottish parliament for 100 years was officially opened in Edinburgh.

Today the national minimum wage came into first, set at �3.60 an

hour. Two Libyans accused of murdering people by blowing up a

Look, here he comes. It looks like Sky Walker is moving up the field.

That was Star Wars and I saw the original that, number three, it in

1976 or something so that must mean it is from the 60s or something.

have never seen Star Wars. Never How can you not have seen them? I

blame your mum and dad. Did they never take you to the cinema?

Sometimes when everyone tells you how brilliant something is, I think,

I'm not going to do it then. In 1977 I was 14, really stroppy then.

Surely Star Wars would have intrigued you? Probably, but I was

probably just grumpy. What year was that? Ten years ago? I have no idea.

2001? I don't know. I don't know. I will go 2000. I don't know. I don't

even know the record. It is something that youngsters listen to,

Tim. Clearly I had lost interest. And this was by? Hm. I don't know.

We revisited my mum's classic We revisited my mum's classic

lasagne this week. Christopher from Glasgow in a Paolo

Maldini shirt. He said it was like Maldini -- packed a punch and was

extremely memorable. Two beautiful ladies from Lancashire made it and

said it was fantastic. And from the new romantic era, Julie made the

lasagne. They've started keeping obese and haven't worked out how to

take off the outfit yet! Have you done it? No. You know you are

protected but the bees are buzzing round your head. If they sting

you... It is quite scary, even though you know you are protected.

As ever, our funny food pictures. Dog in a hot chocolate cup. That is

a dog, yeah. Is it as good as the hippo carrot from last week? Yes, I

prefer, I supermuch more of a preference for things looking like

something to seeing stuff in food. A happy cocktail. You can tell

that's ghostly. Brilliant. Haunted cocktail. A happy cocktail. That's

Wayne's challenge, to create something like that. If you do find

things in food that amuse you, e- mail via

bbc.co.uk/somethingfortheweekend, or you can tweet us at @SFTW.

smell is amazing. It is the smell of smoked fish. We are going to do

smoked langoustines with cod. We've got cod, our smoked langoustines,

peeled tomatoes, butter, green peppers, garlic and tarragon. These

are the fellas when they are cooked. I was at the Grampian Food Festival

a while ago and tasted them there. Really good. Anything smoked is

good but it it was first time I had a smoked langoustine tail. That's

really good. Really strong flavour. Impossible

not to continually eat them. gutted for everybody at home who

can't taste these. That is delicious. If you get hold of them,

you could maybe do half and half of cod, and smoked salmon. Where did

you get them from? A company in Aberdeen shipped them down for us.

Search on-line. Delicious. We are going to cook the cod. As ever, the

fish is up to room temperature so it will cook well in the pan. Oil

on there. Salt, pepper. Rub it in. Beautiful. I love cod. It is still

one of my favourite fish. And there are still sustainable sources of it.

As long as you buy sustainable... How would you know? Nowadays if it

doesn't say on there that it is a recognised source, you can't

guarantee it. Fishmongers will know, and if it's been caught off the

north Irish coast. The sauce: onion. Cooked nice and gently. This is

quite an oilly sauce for our langoustine tails. We need diced

peppers to go in there. Diced peppers. Little squares of, however

small you want to make them. So this week's news, anything

exciting? Not for me. I've been watching a lot of sport. Have you

watched the ten is? No. Murray sadly got knocked out last night.

It is the US Open. Djokovic went through. He annoys me a bit. He

does that ball bouncing. All the tennis players have something but

he does that bouncing thing for hours. Nadal picks... I was

thinking about spitting. No-one's doing that, Tim. That would get

people talking about me. LAUGHTER At every point. What do you think?

I like the thing you were telling me about mind games in tennis. You

should do that more, criticising other people. I like that. I was

watching a bit of an an ture tour, and they were talking to each other

a lot -- an amateur tour. That would be maybe better than the

spitting one, to be honest. No, I think spitting. You can imagine the

outrage? Only too well. I'm talking now as if I'm going to make it as a

pro! You do think it. What happened to the football results this week?

I didn't see. Liverpool are on fire, how did they get on yesterday?

Liverpool lost 1-0 to Stoke with a controversial penalty. We had many

chances and should have won the game I'm friendly with Tony Pulis

the manager. Did he pick up the phone and sing Delilah to you?

That's the song they sing. I was going on Saturday but couldn't, I

hate going to watch my team lose. I can't find any comfort in a good

display with a defeat, can you? don't know. Sometimes when you go

and you lose, you kind of feel you've done your bit. It makes me

depressed. Have I done enough? Beautiful. Chuck those in with the

onions Tandgar lick. This is quite an oilly -- chuck those in with the

onions and garlic. This is quite an oily fish. Muck in the delicious

Lang -- chuck in the delicious langoustine tails. We've skinned

the tomatoes and chopped them. If you want to leave the skins on you

can. They tend to stick in your teeth. It only takes seconds to do

it. Put a cross on the bottom, put them in boiling water and count to

ten and the skin comes off. You can use tinned tomatoes but I think

this needs to be a fresh different we've got delicious flavours in

there. Bring it to the boil and simmer it. The trooments will cook

down. We want -- the tomatoes will cook down. You want the oily sauce,

that lovely flavour coming through. The next job for you, Tim, is chop

tarragon. Do you think we could knock out your mum's lasagne in our

catering vans? I think so. We would have to do it under licence. She's

not cheap. It is not long until the Olympics. We had better pick some

menus. Remember the duck meatballs? That is always going to work for us.

Do you have the stalks in this as well? It doesn't really matter, but

in an ideal world, take the leaves off and go for it. If you were

cooking a slow-cooked casserole with tarragon, it is nice to have

the stem in. Back to this. It is nice and oily. Once you've chopped

it, that can all go straight in to the little stew. You get all that

lovely tarragon flavour. To finish the figures as we sa often do, we

are going to -- so often do, we are going to add butter. Did you like

the Boomtown Rats? I did. It was a great album. I've got their first

two albums. I remember Johnny Fingers, he played the piano in his

pyjamas. And Angus from AC/DC in his school uniform. Why don't

people do it any more? Or do they? Dappy from N-Dubz. He dresses as a

toddler. Yes there, is that! Drain the excess butter so the butter

puts richness into that. The tarragon gives us a flavour.

There's got to be somebody who dresss in a strange way. I think

Wayne is trying to do it in a cocktail man. Bob, when did Johnny

Fingers decide to wear pyjamas? the very beginning. Did he come in

one day and say, "I've decided to wear pyjamas.", Snow, that was - No,

it was from the get-go. You can walk around shopping centres

anywhere in Britain and see people in pyjamas. Do dig in. Try some of

this Bob or is it materially for you? What is the this? Cod. And try

the smoked langoustines tail. are you doing later? Swiss roll

with Russell and with Bob the classic Irish dish of Dublin Coddle.

I've never heard of it. Johnny fingers loved it. The famous doubly

Coddle. I thought this was it. They'll be on our website -

bbc.co.uk/somethingfortheweekend. Langoustine is Irish for prawn

isn't it? It's the same address if you want to e-mail questions to our

guest. Or you with tweet us at @SFTW. If you fancy a big helping

of something Jurassic this is for you. As well as CGI. This is Planet

you. As well as CGI. This is Planet Dinosaur.

Land-based killer. A meat eater, a carnosaur. A cousin

of allosauru suction but four times bigger, with serrated teeth. It was

a giant killer. Up to 13 metres long and weighing

around 7 tonnes, like spin osaurus it was bigger than T Rex. This may

superneed up to 500 square kilometres each.

Making competition for the best Knees young male s both want

supremacy over this territory. Dominating the land is the key for

survival of these killers, and that You can walk with the carnivores of

Planet Dinosaur on Wednesday at 8.30pm on BBC intck and BBC is HD.

Our second guest has taken the comedy world by storm since winning

the Comedy Award in Edinburgh for his Smokescreens And Castles.

is quite an unfriendly ack sense. The London accent a open -- accent.

I'm in first class, I'm fine. Taught my mum to use Skype. And

there's my mum with her eye against Even his urine used to scare me as

a child. Dad up to the toilet, naked, discharge urine, retreat.

Comedian, presenter, welcome to the programme, Russell Kane. Change of

image. If you have got it, restyle it. Is that just something you

thought about, you would do? If I wear it like this on stage, I sweat

so much. My default haircut is Lego. I am straight! Last week there was

an issue with your luggage, you lost it. How precious these things

are, I am supposed to promote myself and my tour, but I had flown

in for this interview on the morning TV station. I won't mention

the airline, but whatever they asked me I said "where is my

luggage?"! One bloke thing I have got is that I don't need too many

shrews, and like an idiot I put all of them in my luggage. I have to

wear special Archers. What is going on with that? I have flat feet. I

think I have a syndrome, don't pretend this is normal what I can

do with my skin. You can put a clove of garlic and some basil in

there, cooking reference to! you good at yoga? Are and stretchy,

but people who are double-jointed are more prone to injury is because

you stretch more than your skeleton is capable of. When I'm on stage I

do an impression of my dad doing his cockney voice, and I stretched

too much with the pose. You are at Essex, is that right? A my dad is

from Berkeley, which is Essex. Every week we went down to Southend.

When my mum got pregnant she was just over the border in Enfield and

that is where the council flat was, but the connection was always with

Essex. As soon as I could, I moved out there. Do you like being in

Essex? It has so much publicity at the moment. Do you play on that?

The reality of the best bit is a pigeon pecking, the reality of a

tramp fallen out of a nightclub. It is not really that part of Essex, I

like the peer. Use seen quite proud of Essex, what do you think of the

image Essex is being given at the moment. You are intelligent and

they are trading on being stupid. think it is brilliant, it is folly.

People from Essex get it. It is ironic. You are laughing at it in

two ways but some people don't get it, say I don't understand it at

all. Do you want the sambuca?! Many people say my region is being

traded badly. Going down with hair straightness, saying we will not be

depressed! Let's talk about celebrity Mastermind. I don't know

if I can talk about it. No, because you might get in trouble. It is

pretty good, isn't it, going on Mastermind? Yes, because when I was

growing up books and Radio 4 were like transmissions coming from the

Republic of middle-class coming through my wall. My dad was like I

have never read a book, I have never needed to, look at these

hounds! He was a doorman, rugby player, scuba diver, so of course I

hate sport, I am as camp as I can be. What did he think of you? I

know he is dead now, isn't he? is like a lot of working-class

dance. He was all do when he had meso he was like some people's

grandad. I was never abused, I never went without food or clothes,

but they have no emotional literacy. Sometimes they say having a

daughter brings that out more in a man, but we were two boys. My

mother said as soon as we could move we were more like men to him!

When I see photos I don't recognise the softness of the expression on

his face, but as soon as I got older he was getting me into a

metal sheet work, getting the asbestos out of the loft. Men are

still like that. I have daughters and I am very soppy with them.

Maybe you are right, otherwise I would be playing football. My mum

said "he is very proud of you in private." I thought what kind of a

person needs to say you have got a degree, have you? I will be in the

shed. What is your new show about? Last year I metaphorically and

literally grieved for my dad, I wasn't coping with it so I buried

him at the end of the last show. This time I am talking about myself.

It is nice everyone thinks I am super successful but in my mind I

am just at the top of the upper and coming breaking through, which is

nice but quite scary. The amount of labels you had to say when you were

introducing me. You must relate to that, I have been through many

incarnations. At the same time my personal life went a bit haywire, a

long-term relationship broke up. it is quite a good time now for

what you are doing. Comedy has a lot of platforms. You can be as

outrageous as you want to be and people are enjoying it, and being

open-minded on comedy nowadays. At the alternative has become more

mainstream so I discovered about five fake selves I could be. It was

a complete disaster, so I talk about that. I am supposed to be on

BBC One Dancing for charity, that is not me. I thought rather than

pretending, why not talk about being lost? I hear you were very

successful at Edinburgh. Once you have won an award it is hard

following yourself. Russell is staying with us to help Simon Cook,

so no excuse not to send in your questions for him or Bob Geldof.

Here is a bit of what else is on the show today. It is getting hairy

on The World's Most Dangerous Roads. It is the maddest thing I have ever

seen in my life. Simon is making a swiss roll. And the waking the dead

spin-off, the Body Farm. Our retail expert will be guiding us threw

everything you need to go back to university or school. Now we are

joined in the kitchen by Bob Geldof. We are talking about this dish, the

Dublin coddle. Amanda who sometimes presents this show as well, she

says it was always her grand mothers speciality. She made it up.

For she has made it up as well? We are making this dish and Bob is

not convinced it exists. Maybe our family told it's something

completely different! It appears in several Dublin literary references

including James Joyce. Russell, you did Mastermind with Evelyn Waugh,

right? I don't know if I'm supposed to reveal that. But you're

literature buff. Look up references to Dublin coddle! It is a layered

breakfast style dishful stock do you do cooking? When I am in the

mood, yes. What do you cook? Name it, I will give it a go. My dad was

a chef, and a very good one. He was on the Queen Mary, in the best

hotels in Paris and London so he knew his kick. I was brought up

around that. My sisters are better but I picked up by osmosis. What

are we making? It is a layered breakfast dish. The theory goes

that it is something we made with any leftover bits of bacon, sausage,

meet that can be cooked on Thursday so it would last until past the

Friday when you could only eat fish. We have sausages, bacon, butter,

shopping? Sure. You do the potatoes. See, I get the potatoes! Irish stew

slicing, thinly. Did you ever think about doing politics? I know you

are into politics, but becoming a politician yourself? Cooking!

Representing a party. Did you ever think about doing it yourself?

because I am not a party man. I vote whatever feels right at that

moment. Also you end up being part of many people, and if you stand

for election in a constituency and save vote for me, we represent this,

then you are lying if you don't go along with what the party platform

is. We have this clip of you talking to Margaret Thatcher.

think it is the one where I bumped into her by accident. I didn't know

she was there so I seized my moment. You did, and it is brilliant TV.

have a problem with VAT. But don't forget, we have used some of 80

your VAT to give back. At the moment you have got a problem with

the butter mountain commune don't have to dispose it. Selling it to

the Russians is the cheapest way. If you can get it down... But it is

a by-product of butter. A lot is going, a lot of surface food is

going, but don't forget... People are dying and that is the terrible

thing. Where were you when that happened? It was an awards lunch

and I saw, and I knew I wouldn't get another moment. I also had the

presence of mind to keep my voice respectful and low because she got

more insistent. I also stood next to her because she would have to

look up to me, and that was it. Were you nervous? I was nervous.

After that there was a lunch and she turned around and said would

you like to come and see me at Number 10. I said yes, and they

made an appointment. Again, kind of afraid that I would make a fool of

myself, I brought my dog with me, a Yorkshire terrier. They were there

like this, and he sat there with his paws on the table. Mrs Thatcher

fell in love with him and I was in. What did you make of her? Did you

respect her? I did. It is the prime minister of Britain. That is the

thing. Whatever country you are in, this is the President, this is the

prime minister, they represent the entire country. You must show

respect, but you also must be on your game because as leaders they

are generous. They are not experts on your specific thing, their

advisers are there, you have got to know at least as much as them and

it is a way of... It is a game. It is a way of behaving. I stick

strictly to the subject I know about. If I was seeing Tony Blair,

I would not go on about Iraq. When I travelled through Africa with

George Bush he kept bringing that up, he insisted and I said my piece.

He didn't disrupt the rest of the trip or the Conversation, so it is

something you learn. Rather like This is probably slightly above all

those discussions. And probably those discussions. And probably

more pleasant! The sausages, we've cooked them off. We've done that

for colour. We layer those up. Put a layer of potatoes on there. It is

all about layering. If you've got left over pork chop or whatever...

Stop it, I haven't layered yet. I'm going to do this on tour. I'm going

to insist on this live on stage. How many dates have you got? Are we

talking about just Britain or the rest? In Britain there's ten and

then Europe and south and North America in the new year. But I

don't play here very much. I'm looking forward to that. We do the

next thing, we layer up our bits and pieces and then a bit more.

Onion, thyme. It looks very nice. It is just baking it together. It

is theoreticly leftovers. As James Joyce famously said in many of

husband novels... Poirt on, another layer of spuds and we -- pour it on,

another layer of spuds and we bake it. It does look good. It must make

you proud to be Irish. All we do, it is a big old stick it in the

middle of the table and dig in kind of dish. And because it's got stock

and butter, it stops it drying out and it is that which makes it a

cracking leftover dish. Your first memories will come back as you fast

Now I remember! You see! There you go. I don't really eat meat but.

was explaining to me what a metrosexual is. This is part of it,

is it? What are we making for dessert? A swiss roll. Wayne is

next with some "40-fied" cocktails. But now your second and last

opportunity to win bragging rights by guessing what year is today's

It was, said the Queen, the beginning of a new and historic

journey for the Scottish people. She was speaking as the first

Scottish Parliament for 300 years was officially opened in Edinburgh.

2 million people were give an pay rise today as the national minimum

wage came into force. It's been set at �3.60 per hour and applies to

all adult workers over the age of 21. The two Libyans accused of

murdering 270 people by blowing up a Pan Am plane over Lockerbie have

appeared in a Scottish court sitting in the Netherlands.

# I have a blue house with a blue What year did the Scottish

Parliament open and Phantom Menace get released? I've gone too early

with 2001. Phantom Menace. I think it is about ten years ago.

going 04? We'll find out later. You are making cocktails from the '40s,

because that's all the rage at the moment. Especially with the hair.

Pencil skirts. Pencil skirts Wayne? And gentlemen will be wearing

My granddad always had a hat on. hat, a cravat and a three-piece

suit. What we were drinking in the 1940s, or post-war everyone wanted

to celebrate and have fun again. They were looking at drinks which

were simple, either to the more aromatic side or the pungent sour

drinks. This is Begin and - thsh is Gin and It.

I remember that. Bitters. That's a great bottle.

Double gin to one of our sweet vermouth. Two gin and one of the

sweet vermouth, bitters. Chim it down. This -- chill it down. They

think this dates back to the gin Palace days of the 19th century.

Aromatic from Europe, and port. Double gin, the bitters and sweet

vermouth. Quite a serious drink. is elegant. It is based on a sweet

Martini. The dry vermouth would be a dry Martiny, and a twist of

orange. You can't drink this today? I'm taking malaria tablets and I'm

off to Uganda. I'm feeling slightly nauseous and I think a double gin,

you know... I'm going to Uganda for sport releaf. Back in the day with

mall airia, quinine -- malaria, quinine, that was the treatment.

This is my favourite part of the show. That is so good. This one has

lemon and sugar syrup. I can Snell it just sitting here. This was a

popular drink in the 1930s. In the late 40s, it was risque. It was

called Between The Sheets. It was cognac, Curacao and lemon. This was

one of the most fashionable drinks of the 40s and 50s. This came off

the back of silk stockings and you know. Silk stockings? You shake

this down. That lemon and sugar balance. Equal measures of orange

liqueur, the rum and the cognac. They even have a '40s look about

them colour-wise. Tom and jery should be mucking about in them. --

Tom and Jerry. In America, such a simple brilliant drink. These are

really nice. I'm not just saying this. We like old school drinks.

Try this at home. Both cocktails are on our website -

bbc.co.uk/somethingfortheweekend. Rhod Gilbert and Greg Davies are

deciding to take on the small challenge of driving ridiculously

unsafe roads of Nepal and China. I can't think why they called this

show The World's Most Dangerous According to the local newspaper,

floods, landslides take their toll across the country. Continuous rain

has triggered landslides across the country. A woman was injured and

her three sons all died when a landslide swept them away. She was

on her way to a nearby tap to fetch water. Oh, no.

It just brings it on, a nearby tan. Look at this! SOUNDS HORN

Look at this loir. Keep on this side but don't let him push you off

the road. He wants to come in now. I have not seen one place where I

would overtake. He's telling you to go. Let's take his advice. Oh, no,

a lorry right over our side! can't believe it. I lost the back

end then. Look at this! What the... What can I do with that!

Unbelievable. Just eating on a bend! On a blind bend! That is

incredible. A family laid out a carpet rug and are having a full

picnic taking up the entire lane on a blind bend. That's the maddest

thing I have ever seen in my life. Chickens. They're alive! They are

not. They are! Even the chickens are going, "This is a crazy place

to overtake." The World's Most Dangerous Roads with Greg and Rhod

is on tonight at 9 on BBC Two and BBC HD Some Things for the Weekend

we have lots ots products. Lots of schools are back. Universities are

schools are back. Universities are starting at the end of the month.

We've got some gadgets. This is the Livescribe Echo pen. If I was at

uni now this is what I would want. You need this paper, it has

microdots on. It is like a GPS system. You are taking notes while

it is recording. Press record and away it goes. If I press there,

tell it where I wanted to play from... That's from Simon's recipe

next week. We made some notes, which you can do. You press it and

record it and it connects to this? Exactly. It acts a bit like a GPS

system is. You have to use the microdot paper. You can print it

off for free. You can write free notes. How much is this one? This

is a 4GB one and it is �178. You can buy bigger or smaller.

I hate scanning but this is simple. This is the Docuscan. It comes with

a plastic wallet I saves it to an SD card. How much is that? This is

�120. You are interest ed in this? A Teasmade. Once voted the fifth

worst ever household gadget. It is back with a venge es this time. It

makes tea but it has an alarm clock, a reading life. There's a little

kettle. You put two tea bags in or two scoops of instant coffee. When

the alarm goes off it boils the water. Permanent shoe have a

toaster on the side. That's perfect �60 for that one. We have to move

on to this. This is fantastic. If you know anybody who is going to

university, this is the uni sack. When I was a kid not everyone went

to university. Now everyone goes. Not everyone, apart from the

tuition fees. Lets's not go there. Kitchen sink, a toilet roll...

a cuddly toilet. There is even a toilet roll. A duvet. You can order

it to arrive to your house or halls of residence. That's �150. There is

no Leveller CDs in there. �120, 20% cheaper than buying everything

individually. This is just a bit of phone. An iPhone bottle opener. It

comes with a free app. Click that off like that. There's a counter on

there. It tells you how many beers you are drifplgt Students can have

a competition. -- it tells you how many beers you are drinking. This

is quite cool. These stack on one another. It has a strap, so you can

carry. When you have finished, that one goes inside that, so you have

half the space to take home with you. That's �16. We've got these

for the kiddies. Your girls are probably a bit old for these.

wouldn't let my girls have crisps for lunch. You can substitute these.

�6. This is my favourite. It comes with a spork in the top. Everybody

love as big lunchbox don't sne You start with your sandwiches in

the morning and this packs away to half the size. Clever. �10 for this

one. A quick minute to do these. This one here is the Scratch N'

Scroll mouse mat. How many times have you been caught short without

a pen. If somebody rings you up and you haven't got anything to hand,

you can scratch with your finger or use a style us. That's �15. This is

a retro pixelated finger mouse. A right and left click button. That's

�15 as well. If you like a bit of bling and want a wireless mouse,

heats your cup of tea. Just make sure you don't use a plastic mug.

This is a CataPencil, it does what it says on the tin, a catapult with

a pencil to torment your teacher. This one is �8. We will see you

again next week when you do sports stuff for us. If you like pathology

drama for waking the dead, you will be leaping for joy because Tara

Fitzgerald is in a new show. This So you would take the job? I would

love it. You and the team? whole team? The Body Farm is a

research facility. The are closing down the laboratories. I am sending

samples to Germany. And you think we would be cheaper? And no, I

happen to think you are the best at what you do, simple as that. So?

I have just got to run it by my partner. It just would have been

nice to have discussed it before you ran off, that is all. Wait

until you see it. I will get the pick up. Great, I will get started.

Russell Kane is in the kitchen with me and Simon. Hello. I am a bit

some court action but this is scaring me. -- cod. Pudding suffix

are quite exact. You can't mess around with them. Truly posh people

say pudding, middle-class try hard people say desert, and working-

class people say afters. Starters, middles, afters, toilet. I think I

am an afters person. I am thinking, we sometimes change the words on

the menu. And for your afters sir? I would like bread-and-butter

pudding please! This is a very simple pudding, we are making

classic swiss roll. We have loads of cream, raspberries, jam, and

eggs and sugar we have been whisking away. I know how this is

going to end. It is going to be fine, we have wrecked many people's

clothes with this whisk. We need pinafores. Do you say pinafore or

apron? It is a minefield. You want loads of volume. Like in my hair.

Five minutes of whisking. More volume than a pensioner's

television. One-down, yes? Go right the way down, you can go for it now

it is started. Your memories of swiss roll, fluffy and light, that

is what we want to do. So we whisk and whisk. What is in here again?

Eggs and sugar. So we are whisking eggs and sugar, get a nice

consistency. Is that enough? could do slightly more but we have

another one for what we are going to do. Then we tip the plain flour

in and we are looking to fold it together. It is like powdery

origami. Do you still remember your fiance dance? -- Beyonce.

really, I have danced on holiday but I had never learnt to dance,

that is the left hand side of the brain, but I have done my shoulder

in doing it. I don't want to complain because it is for charity

but I do need an operation on my shoulder! I turned it on and I

thought he with that? It confused a lot of people. I got a lot of

messages from straight girls on Facebook. When I was wearing the

outfit they were saying that is disgusting, but a lot of the

messages I got were "I don't understand what I felt when I saw

you dressed in that". When my confidence is low I don't want to

meet someone who likes me dressed as a woman. Tip all that into there.

So I just empty my creamy contents into here. I am looking for another

good question. You have got a cat called Wayne. It was after Wayne

Collins, definitely. I have Keith and Wayne, two caps. It is amazing

how many tears a cat can absorb, quite a lot when you are single. I

am not single any more though, so... What we end up with is this. You to

pick out onto a piece of greaseproof paper with a lot of

sugar on. How many people have tried to make this, they get to

this stage, and it falls apart when you roll it - why? People who like

symmetry and prime numbers, like me. I like things to be tidy. As you

roll it, it will crack. But I have had ones that fall apart. If you

roll it in the greaseproof paper, put it in the fridge for 20 minutes,

it will almost miraculously seal itself because the moisture or will

hold it together again. Is there anything I am getting wrong at the

cooking stage? Cooking it for too long. You have to be careful when

you do this part that you don't press too hard because you will

break the swiss roll. Maybe that is another problem. I am so stressed,

I am just putting the spoon down into the desk, down into the

neighbour's flat. It comes out drier than Oscar Wilde's wit funny

most of the time. I am just impressed that you make swiss roll.

I am just sensitive. Do you go right to the edges? They never do

details on cooking programmes. think it is nice... If I do toast,

I have to have bought a right to the edges. I do, right up to the

crust. Sandwiches with filling only at the front are very annoying.

Don't start me on that. Now, the cream. Same spoon? It doesn't

matter because it will mix with the jam. If you are worried about

washing up, then... Will rustle be rolling it? Yes. I am looking

forward to the rolling of the swiss roll. We have one minute left,

interesting. I feel like I am giving sponge bought a shave. --

Sponge Bob. You have got very large Roseberry's, where are they from?

Scotland have beautiful raspberries. Euros breezed are massive. Sambuca,

please! This is the bit you always worry about. Look how moist it is.

Because it is not overcooked. Go for it, just Rollitt. -- roll it.

I'm shaking! We end up with that beautiful thing. Perfect, nicely

done. I have to wash my hands, slightly obsessive. Of course. Cut

a great big slab of lovely swiss roll and we had done. Now it is

over to Tim and Bob. The Year in Deja View was 1999. Do

you prefer a recording songs or touring them? Touring them. It is

like Russell, digging is where it is that. The enjoyment of working

out where they can go further. My tour starts on Wednesday in

Newcastle. We have a lot of people asking the same thing... Why are

you such a genius? I don't know. you agree with platforms such as X

Factor? They all want to know what you think about modern music and

artists. What do you think? I think X Factor is brilliant television,

really brilliant. It is fantastic entertainment. You get great

singers coming out of it but original music and stuff like that,

that is not what it is meant to do. In terms of watching television,

fantastic. In terms of people in it to be stars, some, but most

musicians are remit to make good music, and then they get famous.

I have a question from Al Murray, who says tell Ruston the ink has

come out. -- Russell. I was a bit new, and I got invited to his place.

I was with my partner at the time, and we went over and he had done a

posh dinner and laid it out on the side. He was helping me with a

panel show. I put my pen in my back pocket. The soap there was a long

suede version. I was so greedy I went up three times to get more

done it. I didn't realise my pen had exploded in my pocket, and the

History Of My Creed was indelibly marked on his sofa. I was running

and the tears were going like that, it was so humiliating. Have some of

that. They are loganberries. Not raspberries. Did you say give me

your swear word money on Live Aid? It is a myth, isn't it? No, I said

spare me the address. The DJ said "write-in...". This was the new

world, we had mobile phones just invented. I didn't say that. Coddle