23/10/2011 Something for the Weekend


23/10/2011

Live cooking and celebrity chat. Tim Lovejoy, Louise Redknapp and chef Simon Rimmer's guests are comedian Bill Bailey and 'One Day' actor Rafe Spall.


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Transcript


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Good morning. It's tone.00am. It's Sunday, the 23rd of October. We're

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joined in the studio today by the man with the dandelion man who has

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put rock 'n' roll into stand-up comedy.

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And the wonderful Raith Small. Stay with us to have some Sunday

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food, drink some Sunday cocktails. Yeah, welcome to Something For the

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Weekend. Louise is off this week because she's ill. Get well soon.

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Get well. Angellica Bell has stepped in. She's pregnant. I am.

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It's not a pillow. How on earth did that happen? I am asking myself

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that same question. Just remember, pregnancy is not an illness. Have

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you felt good? There were three weeks where I thought, my gosh,

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what is happening here? But most of the time I am upbeat. How long

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until you give birth? Eight weeks. Could come today? Could. You have

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your scrubs? Hot water, towels, a cup of tea. Nice. You have been to

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the Good Food Show. It was fab. I was at the BBC Good Food Show in

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Scotland. I was in a kilt. Here it is - no, that's not me in the kilt.

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There it is. What was underneath? Do you know, I did bottle it. I did

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actually wear underwear. I wasn't a true Scotsman. Jude made me a kilt.

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It's great. It's very liberating. Have you ever worn won? No, I

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haven't. Would you? Yeah, but I feel I shouldn't because isn't it

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all heaped in history? I felt because my wife is Scottish, by

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default I could do it. Your wife is Scottish? Yeah. How is that going

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on? It's all right, you know? together. It was the Masterchef

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final this week. Boo. You're booing because I am not in it, and Phil

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won it. This is the moment he won it. Let's have a look.

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Phil. I was robbed. It wasn't right. How

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did he win? He already does a cooking slot on This Morning. He is

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a chef, isn't he? It's cheating, absolutely. He stole the show

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recently playing Emma's boyfriend in One Day, but he'll be telling us

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about a new film, Anonymous, and what it's like taking direction

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from Ridley Scott. This film, I went to see it the other day. It's

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really good. I am going to see it. Don't give anything away. I have to.

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Not too much. Not too much. It's all about a conspiracy theory how

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Shakespeare didn't write his play. I'll explain more about that later

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on. I have just finished reading a Shakespeare. Which one? William.

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Plus, bill Baillie, described as a master of comedy, is here to give

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us an insight into his extremely musical, extremely funny brain.

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Don't forget to tell us your name when you e-mail via the web site. I

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can't believe he gave me the live access - used to have to dig for

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that for awhile. I am pregnant. Give me a break. Do you need a wee?

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No. I went before I came on! E-mail us or Tweet us if you have

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questions for Bill and Raith. What is cooking today? We have coal

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and... Chalk, tar! Exactly. All the things you're craving. This is

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lovely. This is a Middle Eastern dish, so king prawns. We have some

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nigella seeds and tahini. The main course is sherry-braised chicken,

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dead simple, on a winterish day. Always going on about - what is

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going on with the weather? It's boiling - not boiling but... It's

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pleasant is how I would describe it. I really want winter to kick in.

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do. I am bored of the Indian summer. I love winter clothes. When I think

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of winter, I think of labour. due on Christmas? 19th of December.

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Everybody is going, "It's going to come Christmas Day." Yeah! Everyone

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is going, oh! Think of the publicity! There is actually no

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news at Christmas. A quiet time. You could be news. You could be the

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news. Last year you got married, and it was all about show in New

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York. All of those pictures of you and Michael in the snow in the

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streets of New York. Were you jealous? Did it touch your heart?

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Made me feel jealous. He's a good- looking boy. Today's dessert is

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apple and passion fruit mer eng pie. What more could you want? Heaven.

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Finally today, it's a sweet potato bhuna masala. You could add other

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ingredients, but I want to show the main bulk of the curry is the

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exciting bit of that. Lovely. Tasty. Thank you. You can follow all of

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those recipes on the website. you can look forward to on the

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show... British police have been murdered in a rich man's panic room.

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Attenborough is back to explore the frozen planet. Millions of tonnes

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of ice have lost the support of their rocky bed. And The

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Impressions Show with Cull Shaw and Stephenson. Now, you've still got

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another Dragon in here, so let me tell you where I am at.

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Can't wait for all of that but we have to go over to Wayne. He's

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going to tell us what cocktails I will not be tasting. I'll be under

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the microscope from Mr Rimmer here because I am doing dessert-style

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cocktails, pudding in a glass, lemon cheesecake and an apple

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crumble. What? In a glass? Sounds sweet. Puddings in a glass. I am

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not sure that's going to be my thing. I think that sounds nice.

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Your thing, not mine. They come in after the pub, take some pudding,

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vodka, puree it. They don't! course they do. They drink cider,

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anyway, students. What are we going to make? Very tasty prawns. We have

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some butter to cook them in, then the wet part of the sauce is lemon,

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tahini, olive oil, mint and sumac, which is a great ingredient, a

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spicy berry. You'll not be able to eat those, are you? They already

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told me I can't. You can't eat shellfish, soft cheese, what else?

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Pate. That's about it. What are you - are you doing any cravings at the

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moment? None. I haven't had one craving at all. Supposedly your

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cravings are the things your body requires? What the baby needs - I

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love it you're so in touch with your feminine side. You have made

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me go to the toilet. Do you need a wee? If you do, just go.

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LAUGHTER What are you having, a boy or a

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girl? I can't tell you that. Do you know? Yeah. Do you? Do you think

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you can tell from the way I look? It's a boy, definitely a boy - 100%

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- well, 50% - 50/50. Boy or a girl? Definitely a boy. Am I right? Am I

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right? I'm not going to say! Let's get cooking. Did you find out?

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my daughter, we did find out, then with Hamish, we did, I think

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because we really liked the idea of having another girl. We thought, if

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it was a boy, we didn't want to have that moment when you think,

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it's a shame. So when we did, we were ready. I couldn't wait. I

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wanted to find out. What's the point in waiting? I know. It's like,

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the midwife knows and you don't - it's ridiculous. It's a control

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thing there, Tim. We have toasted off the sesame seeds, the cumin

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seeds, the nigella seeds, the hazel nuts, then we spoon all of this

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into a mortar and pestel and grind it. You could put this into a spice

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grinder, but there is something quite nice about this. Smells

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lovely. Smells delicious. Just mash it down, so you're breaking down

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all of those flavours. While that happens, we'll start to cook the

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prawns off which is the bit you can't have, but to be honest, I

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think this sauce is delicious on its own. I can taste that? We'll

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have it with a little bit of flatbread. Some oil in there,

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garlic in there. Slice the garlic so you use it as an ingredient,

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then we chuck in our prawns and cook those away, so we have a

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lovely, delicious buttery, prawny flavour going on in there.

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DING Are you doing that... No, I am not

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doing that on purpose. Keep banging! I am working. My dad

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used to ask me to clean the house. I just used to go - I am going to

:11:17.:11:27.
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use a product name - I apologise - Mr Sheen, then think, they'll think

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I cleaned now. Leaving pictures at an angle to show they have done it.

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I might try that at home. Michael is a modern man. He has been really

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good, doing the dinners, cooking. Does he know what sex your baby is?

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He doesn't even know I am pregnant. Yeah, he does! He does. I sort of

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convinced him at first, let's find out. He was like, mmm. Now he's

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glad he knows. I don't think it matters either way. It's up to you

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whatever you want to do. Yeah, but some people are dead against

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finding out. They think it should be a surprise. Should be a surprise

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on the day, but I'll tell you what, there is quite a lot going on when

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you give birth. LAUGHTER

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Squeeze the lemon oil in with the sumac, add the tahini. What sort of

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birth are you going to have? haven't got a birth plan. I am just

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going to go in and see what happens. Wing it? Wing it, yeah! Because I

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think if you go in with too much preconceptions with what you want

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and that, it doesn't go to plan, you can be disappointed. I wouldn't

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mind trying natural. You should do - I think definitely. Yeah? And if

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it's really bad, I might start screaming and yelping and saying,

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"Give me something." But I am hoping I can - and one of the girls

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here was talking about hip know- birthing, breathing and... That's

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all good. Most of the world give birth naturally. It's only Western

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societies - if you can. Obviously, if there is medical problems...

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Exactly. Isn't your lifestyle different because if you have a

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headache, you take pills and - not that you do. Is that enough? Yeah.

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Chuck in all the lemon juice and give it a mix. That smells

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delicious - you have all the nuts in there. That's beautiful.

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chuck the vast majority of this in. We just coat the prawns with this,

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so straight away, we start getting all of this lovely flavour. Why is

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it pregnant women can't eat shellfish and soft cheese and

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things? What happens to them? don't know. It's - with cheese -

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mix it up - and the tahini. It's the lack of pasteurisation in soft

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cheese, isn't it? What can you get? It's about bacterial - there are

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things like salmonella. From the cheese, I am not sure. Probably

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simply because if you get... I am thinking of things you can normally

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get from shellfish as a nonpregnant person, like E-coli, salmonella -

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what's the really scary one? It's a bit like the super-bug in

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hospitals? No. It's called - Anyway! Anyone help? Norrow virus,

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which is a really serious one. Right. A little bit of water comes

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into that. Mix that around as well. Back into here - all the things

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like the hazel nuts and the sesame seeds - they smell delicious.

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Normally, we always have prawns in a creamy sauce and stuff like that.

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Let's add a touch more. In here we have the lemon and the sumac. Come

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Half of that into that pan and the rest over there. Enough? Lovely.

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Then we combine all of this lovely tahini sauce with the nuts an the

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reason we do it in two layers is that we wafpbt there to be this

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nice toastiness from all of the nuts -- want there to be all of the

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toastiness from all the nuts. Then, in here,... Is that the flat

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bread? Flat bread. So we've got the prawns, delicious flat bread to go

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with it. You can use any kind of flat bread. That's like Lebanese

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flavour. Yes, all the things are Lebanese, like the sumac. We are

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going to tear the bread like that and then to serve it, we have some

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delicious, delicious prawns sitting on the plate. So you get it like a

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sauce, quite thick and the nuts are thickening it all up. Then we serve

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it with pickled chillis and a little squeeze of Lemon over the

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:16:22.:16:27.

top and Angellica, for you, some sauce. And bread. The hazelnuts and

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prawns work really well. That's lovely. Really nice. What are we

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going to have for the main course? Sherry-braised chicken. Luckily all

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the alcohol gets cooked out so I can taste that. Yes. You can see

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see that and the recipes at our website. This is just what I wanted

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for breakfast this morning. Yes, prawns. Ben Miller steps into a new

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drama in the role of detective Richard Poole now. Sun, sand and

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serious crime. Oh, this is great. We have got a British policeman

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murdered in a richman's panic room. An old book clutched in his hands.

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A safe that's open and a vase that's smashed. As for suspects,

:17:14.:17:17.

there are only two people without an alibi. James, because he was

:17:17.:17:21.

town on his beach alone and Sarah because she was taking a shower.

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Not that any of this matters. Doesn't get us any closer to

:17:28.:17:32.

understanding how the murderer escaped. I need to see the pieces

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from the vase and the book Charlie was holding, but first the body.

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That won't be possible. What won't? Seeing the body? No, none of it,

:17:41.:17:49.

the book, the boody, the vase, none of it is here. What are you saying?

:17:49.:17:57.

It's in Guadeloupe. Fine. Which is a completely different island.

:17:57.:18:01.

can head for the Caribbean and Death In Paradise on Tuesday at 9

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on BBC One. The first guest starred in Black Books and led one of the

:18:07.:18:12.

Never Mind the Buzzcocks teams for 11 series. He's most known for his

:18:12.:18:17.

combining music with comedy and he has a sell out show coming up.

:18:17.:18:20.

likes eating, that's his own qualification for judging people's

:18:20.:18:23.

dinners, right. Worrying what Michael Winner thinks of your food,

:18:23.:18:26.

it would be like going to the park and worrying that a duck has looked

:18:26.:18:36.
:18:36.:18:41.

at you in a funny way. Fabio Capello said it was unappetita

:18:41.:18:51.
:18:51.:18:51.

Anglaise which is like very damning. The badger and the sparrow, but I

:18:51.:19:00.

like the rustic bling, I've got a Prada wheel barrow. That was from

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his new tour, Dandelion Mind. Welcome back to something for the

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weekend, Mr Bill Bailey. A new tour that's not new because you have

:19:09.:19:14.

been doing it for a year? Yes, it's modified gently. It's been all

:19:14.:19:24.
:19:24.:19:25.

around the world and it's kind of, every show's an different thing, it

:19:25.:19:29.

changes all the time. When you take a show, you said earlier, you have

:19:29.:19:33.

taken it to Australia, where else? Started off in the Scottish

:19:33.:19:39.

Highlands. Why did you start off there? I've always wanted to go

:19:39.:19:44.

there. I've longed to go there. It's a beautiful part of Britain

:19:44.:19:48.

and just trying to organise a trip to get up there was tricky so I

:19:48.:19:51.

thought, if I book a load of gig there is, I have to go, you know,

:19:51.:19:56.

you've committed to it. Also the fact is, there was a way of trying

:19:56.:20:01.

out the show. So it wasn't like they were funnier up there and they

:20:01.:20:06.

would like you better? No, the food was good as well. How far do they

:20:06.:20:13.

have to travel? Isn't there 200,000 people up there in the size of

:20:13.:20:17.

Belgium or something? Yes, it's tricky to get around, we were

:20:17.:20:21.

hampered by the ash cloud when we were there, you usually fly from

:20:21.:20:26.

Inverness to Orkney or Shetland, but we had to drive all the way up.

:20:26.:20:36.

On a train track. We had to build a bridge! What is Dandelion Mind, the

:20:36.:20:39.

concept behind it? The name comes from a dream I had in Melbourne

:20:39.:20:47.

where I had a bit of a fever and/or too much blue cheese before I went

:20:47.:20:53.

to bed. Basically, I had this vision at the back of my head that

:20:53.:20:56.

disintegrated into dandelion spores, and I thought, that is interesting.

:20:56.:21:01.

It sums up the idea of the thoughts spinning off in all directions, so

:21:01.:21:06.

I adopted it for the show. It's one of my favourite images. So the show

:21:06.:21:10.

is about nothing and just thoughts? That was the loose theme b, doubt

:21:10.:21:14.

about it, you know, doubt about the world, western capital itch,

:21:14.:21:20.

teetering on the brunk, doubt about what -- brink, doubt about where we

:21:20.:21:25.

are going, it's a good way to start the show then you get spun off into

:21:25.:21:28.

different challenges. There's a lot of music in it as well. You've

:21:28.:21:34.

toured Australia, where else? Zealand, America and Canada and I

:21:35.:21:39.

did three months in the West End. Years ago people used to tour

:21:39.:21:42.

around Britain, didn't they, and say it's harder crowds up there.

:21:42.:21:47.

Are they harder to play, some of the countries than others, or are

:21:47.:21:53.

they all similar because the world's a closer place? It's got

:21:53.:21:58.

closer, physically it's shrinking as well. Things are moving all the

:21:58.:22:02.

time. I think that's a myth. People always say, humour is different in

:22:02.:22:07.

America, I don't believe that, I think that's a myth. I think

:22:07.:22:11.

comedy's become much more global partly because of things like the

:22:11.:22:16.

intermet and YouTube, you noshes people can Google up your comedian

:22:16.:22:24.

and wash clips -- you know. They're more comedy savvy now aren't they.

:22:24.:22:28.

Sometimes people might think the culture is really funny and another

:22:28.:22:33.

place they might think it's dead pan. Not to blow our trumpet, but

:22:33.:22:36.

British comedy generally travels well around the world, probably

:22:36.:22:41.

better than a lot of comedy. Some comedy of countries, certain

:22:41.:22:44.

countries, can be quite country specific, but British comedy spends

:22:44.:22:47.

to be universal, that's why it travels very well. Tell us about

:22:47.:22:56.

this thing you are doing, called the Tenori-on? Yes, the Tenori-on

:22:56.:23:02.

is a Japanese muzical and is visual instrument -- musical. It consists

:23:02.:23:07.

of a pad of 140-odd buttons and each button, when you press it, it

:23:07.:23:15.

luem naits and it shines in a pattern -- luminates. You can

:23:15.:23:19.

create images and they're then played use ago musical tone.

:23:19.:23:26.

think we should see it in action. It's extraordinary. We have a clip.

:23:26.:23:30.

# Whilst vaguely watching you nibble your sandwich

:23:30.:23:36.

# I was gripped by an overwhelming sense of utter futility

:23:36.:23:41.

# You Twitter Oh my God I'm having a sandwich

:23:41.:23:50.

# Like it's thrilling # Then later 4,000 Tweeters tweet

:23:50.:23:56.

what filling... # That's not it. We had a girl come on here, an artist,

:23:56.:24:00.

Ellie Goulding, she came on and played one I think. Yes, there are

:24:00.:24:07.

a few. Little Boots as well. That was easy it, she came on, yes. --

:24:07.:24:12.

that was it; yes. You can hook up to other instruments and play other

:24:12.:24:17.

instruments, so it's very much of now because it's a midi, meaning it

:24:17.:24:23.

talks a lot to other instruments. I also like the low tech element of

:24:23.:24:26.

pressing buttons because so much of music is about programming and

:24:27.:24:32.

digital sounds on a computer, whereas this is, physically making

:24:32.:24:36.

an image and it get played. It's perfect for me, the combination of

:24:36.:24:42.

comedy and visual. We have got a Tweet from Stephanie who says what

:24:42.:24:46.

do you get more pleasure from, comedy or music, you are probably

:24:46.:24:51.

going to say both but music drives you, doesn't it? Yes, when I was a

:24:51.:24:55.

kid I thought I would be in a rock band. I thought I'd be in Talking

:24:55.:24:58.

Heads, I thought that was my ambition, I didn't write to them

:24:58.:25:02.

and asked if I could be in their band. Stupid really, I should have

:25:03.:25:10.

done - duh! I sat at home with with the window open playing the piano

:25:11.:25:13.

hoping that David Byrne would snap me up. I thought that was what I'd

:25:14.:25:18.

do. I was in band at school, played music, learned music to a high

:25:18.:25:22.

level, took lots of exams, the diploma, I thought that's what I

:25:23.:25:28.

would end up doing and I ended up doing the School Review and plays

:25:28.:25:33.

and I loved comedy. The spoken word took over as well as a love of

:25:33.:25:38.

music. I think I probably love them the same now. Didn't you headline

:25:38.:25:48.
:25:48.:25:48.

neb worth? This summer. -- neb worth? I was on between Limp

:25:48.:25:53.

Biscuit and another band, that was great fun. What is the biggest buzz,

:25:53.:25:56.

getting the audience laugh or getting them to love your tunes?

:25:56.:26:01.

Probably a bit of both. That's where it all happened, it all came

:26:01.:26:04.

together because people were laughing about the comedy. Then I

:26:04.:26:14.
:26:14.:26:15.

did a couple of new songs in that show. I did a version of the folk

:26:15.:26:20.

song Scarborough Fair. I had the whole place bouncing and it was

:26:20.:26:30.
:26:30.:26:31.

singing, you know, Scarborough Fair, you know, and it was great. For me

:26:31.:26:35.

that,'s the ideal gig, you know, a bit of comedy and music. Is there

:26:35.:26:40.

any instrument you can't or want to play? I'm not so good on the violin.

:26:40.:26:46.

Is it because of your fingers are big? I just can't play it. They

:26:46.:26:52.

don't move quick enough? I've never learned it. It's something I must

:26:52.:26:57.

do. That's on my-to-do list. Stringed instruments, key boards,

:26:57.:27:01.

I'm fine. OK, Bill is not allowed to leave

:27:01.:27:05.

because he's going to cook a pudding with us. Keep treething

:27:05.:27:11.

your questions for him or Raith Small -- tweeting. It's try and

:27:11.:27:16.

remember what year it was time now or what we like to call it, Deja

:27:16.:27:21.

View. # And I said

:27:21.:27:26.

# What about Breakfast at Tiffany's # She said I think I remember the

:27:26.:27:29.

film # As I call laughing

:27:29.:27:32.

# We both kind of liked it # And I said

:27:32.:27:37.

# Well that's the one thing we've got... # The world's first

:27:37.:27:42.

processed food to be made from GM fruit has gone on sale here. It's

:27:42.:27:47.

tomato paste from tomatoes which have an added gene to slow the

:27:47.:27:50.

ripening process. It was far and away the most serious incident in

:27:50.:27:54.

the Channel Tunnel's two years of operation. The fire broke out when

:27:54.:27:58.

the train was approximately 12 miles from Calais. After an absence

:27:58.:28:01.

of 700 years, the stone of destiny is returning to Scotland. The stone,

:28:01.:28:07.

which was used for Scottish Coronations, has been kept at

:28:07.:28:17.
:28:17.:28:18.

# I say # What about breakfast at

:28:18.:28:28.
:28:28.:28:47.

What was the year that all happened? I can't join in because I

:28:47.:28:52.

cheated. Last night I went to look up the name of that band because I

:28:52.:28:56.

thought, what on earth is the name of that band? They were called Deep

:28:57.:29:04.

Blue something, but when I looked it up, with the hit - in that year.

:29:04.:29:09.

2003. I am getting worse at this. am embarrassed for you. I am

:29:09.:29:16.

absolutely embarrassed for you. What year was that? Have a guess!

:29:16.:29:20.

am rubbish! We have had so many photos. Most have been the Davina

:29:20.:29:29.

McCall. -- cauliflower cottage pie. But first, naked pictures - Bruce

:29:29.:29:34.

from Middleton made the cauliflower cottage pie - that's great. He has

:29:34.:29:40.

a koi carp tattooed on his chest. Right over your heart - that's

:29:40.:29:44.

going to hurt. It's not a bad tattoo, is it?

:29:44.:29:47.

LAUGHTER Finally, when we started this and

:29:47.:29:51.

you sent in the pictures we were hoping for some ladies, so Karren

:29:51.:29:55.

from St Ann's - never lets us down, do you? She did the cauliflower

:29:55.:30:00.

cottage pie. She made it for her boyfriend Carl. She's apologised

:30:00.:30:06.

for the tan lines, Tim. Apologies accepted. Excellent. We're

:30:06.:30:12.

delighted with that. Fully clothed we have Sarah, Amy, Cassie and

:30:12.:30:15.

Hannah. They also made the cauliflower cottage pie. They're

:30:15.:30:19.

wearing their tiger costumes as they can't afford heating. What are

:30:19.:30:26.

they? Rompers? For grown-ups, yeah. Finally, Paul Evans, the dad, and

:30:26.:30:32.

the son - again, cauliflower cottage pie. They're from Newcastle

:30:32.:30:38.

under lime. Nice work. Cool. So if you're going to cook any of today's

:30:38.:30:43.

dishes and want to show yourself - and your dish - on telly...

:30:43.:30:53.
:30:53.:30:54.

don't have to be naked. It helps! Send it to the website. Or you can

:30:54.:30:58.

Tweet. Have your face or whatever you want to show us on the telly.

:30:58.:31:03.

What goes through your mind when you think, I am going to get a koi

:31:03.:31:07.

carp tattooed on his chest? He has none on his arm, does he? He just

:31:07.:31:13.

has a fish on his chest - so bizarre. I bet he's got more than

:31:13.:31:23.
:31:23.:31:23.

one tattoo - don't you think? 4 -- Certainly on his thigh or something.

:31:23.:31:27.

That starter was absolutely beautiful. Thank you! What are we

:31:27.:31:31.

going to do? A simple dish - sherry-braised chicken. We have

:31:31.:31:37.

chicken, onion, stock, sherry, olives, parsley, butter and some

:31:37.:31:41.

bacon. This is a really lovely simple dish to do. The nice thing

:31:41.:31:47.

about using something like sherry is it's quite sweet so you get that

:31:47.:31:53.

flavour in there. If it was volume, it would be a loud flavour - aaah

:31:53.:31:58.

It's shouting about its flavour. Reminds me of my nan's and

:31:58.:32:03.

Grandad's - used to drink that. schooner of sherry. How much is

:32:03.:32:09.

that? Like a double measure. They used to have little sherry glasses.

:32:09.:32:17.

Give it a good dredge in the flour, then pat off the excess. So Phil

:32:17.:32:23.

Vickery winning - did it make you agree... Just because he's a rugby

:32:23.:32:28.

player! You didn't compete against him? No, no, I didn't see him. I

:32:28.:32:32.

saw him in the semi-final. He was very good. He was taking it very

:32:32.:32:36.

seriously. I think that's the great thing about those shows now is the

:32:36.:32:39.

contestants take it very seriously and get stuck in, so good luck to

:32:39.:32:47.

him. Well done! Well done - yeah! Phil, well done, mate. I was hoping

:32:47.:32:53.

for the trophy here! Whatever! Let's cook. You were robbed! I was!

:32:53.:32:58.

So flour, patting the excess off, the seasoned flour into some nice

:32:58.:33:02.

hot fat to seal it. While we're doing that, slice the onion down

:33:02.:33:06.

the middle, take off the stem on the bottom and slice it - however

:33:06.:33:11.

you want to do it, really. This is classic casserole-style cooking,

:33:11.:33:15.

really. That size or thicker? That's fine. So we're sealing off

:33:15.:33:20.

the meat. Then we take the meat out of the pan, then add all the other

:33:20.:33:24.

ingredients. So we have onion, smoked bacon, a great combination.

:33:24.:33:29.

Do you have our Stone Roses tickets sorted yet? Because we're going to

:33:29.:33:35.

be the support act, it shouldn't... Going to do catering to do? I can't

:33:35.:33:41.

decide what we have on, really. everyone a bit giddyap in the

:33:41.:33:46.

north-west because it's the Derby today, isn't it? It is. It's United

:33:46.:33:50.

at Old Trafford today. Who do you think - not who do you think - but

:33:50.:33:57.

who do you want to win? Obviously, I am completely unbiased - in a

:33:57.:34:02.

second they'll go in here. I am unbiased, but if I had my choice of

:34:02.:34:08.

who would win today, they'd be wearing sky blue. Being a Liverpool

:34:08.:34:14.

fan, they're your biggest enemies, aren't they? What I would say about

:34:14.:34:20.

that is whenever Liverpool played Manchester United, I felt both

:34:20.:34:25.

clubs buried the hatchet and said, it's time we stop all the hideous

:34:26.:34:31.

chatter. I hate all of that. That hatred thing hopefully goes. I have

:34:31.:34:36.

had enough of that. Stick to the football. I agree with you. I just

:34:36.:34:43.

want Mario Balotelli to play. Do you hear what he did yesterday or

:34:43.:34:47.

the day before? He set off a load of fireworks in his house. I am not

:34:47.:34:52.

laughing - because it's a stupid thing to do. But it's mental, isn't

:34:52.:34:57.

it? Hilarious. We sweat down the onions. We get in the smoked bacon,

:34:57.:35:01.

sweat that down as well. What you would probably do is I would cook

:35:01.:35:05.

the onions, let them get soft, take them out of the pan or fry the

:35:05.:35:09.

bacon, then the onions. I am sticking to this because that's all

:35:09.:35:15.

we need to do. Let's pretend, Tim... Why would you want to do them

:35:15.:35:18.

separately? I like building up the flavours. At the end of the day,

:35:18.:35:22.

what I want to do have the heat high for the bacon so it gets

:35:22.:35:25.

crispy, take it out of the pan, drop the heat down, then cook the

:35:25.:35:28.

onions slowly so we get that natural sweetness. That's just me.

:35:29.:35:34.

You don't have to do that at all. You could theoretically chuck all

:35:34.:35:38.

of this in at the same time and it would work, but we want to build

:35:38.:35:43.

the flavour. Give the parsley a little bit of a chop. This is all

:35:43.:35:45.

about balance. When you're doing anything like a casserole, you want

:35:45.:35:49.

to get a good balance. Let's imagine we cooked down the bacon

:35:49.:35:54.

and onion for six minutes or so. What we do is put the chicken back

:35:54.:35:58.

in. Remember, we put it in with a little bit of flour. Of course, as

:35:58.:36:02.

we add moisture to this dish, the flour will give it a little bit of

:36:02.:36:05.

thickening, so you're not going to have to worry about whether it's

:36:05.:36:10.

going to be too thin or not. Once we have the chicken back in, add

:36:10.:36:15.

your sherry into there. This works with any kind of sherry. It goes in

:36:15.:36:19.

there? It will do at the end. This works with any kind at all. It

:36:19.:36:24.

works with port. It works with red wine. It works with beer. It's the

:36:24.:36:28.

booze and the stock combined that'll give us a nice flavour. If

:36:28.:36:32.

you were cooking this with beer, I might say add a little bit of sugar

:36:32.:36:36.

so it stays nice and sweet. OK. bring that up to the boil. This is

:36:36.:36:40.

a fast one. Normally, with a casserole, it would be a long cook.

:36:40.:36:48.

If you were going to do this with chicken thighs, it might take a

:36:48.:36:53.

long time. Have a little sniff. It's amazing. It smells wintry.

:36:53.:36:59.

can smell the sherry. When you're heating it this much, are you going

:36:59.:37:03.

to lose all the moisture from it? It will reduce down. When that

:37:03.:37:06.

happens, always the temptation is you'll put more stock in it. I

:37:06.:37:11.

would say put more water in, not stock. If it does reduce too much,

:37:11.:37:17.

add a little bit of water into it. Chuck those in, give it a bit of a

:37:17.:37:22.

stir around. Nice. Then we want to just thicken the sauce a little bit

:37:22.:37:27.

and give it an extra flavour and make it a little bit glossy, so

:37:27.:37:32.

what we do is add butter. In that goes and give that a little bit of

:37:32.:37:41.

a whisk around. Ideally, if you put cold butter in it, it works better.

:37:41.:37:45.

Move things to one side. Give it a stir-around so it works. So we have

:37:45.:37:50.

all the sherry, the stock, the butter, the bacon and everything in

:37:50.:37:57.

there. Then, of course, it's quite heavy - the flavours are big and

:37:57.:38:02.

heavy in there, so let's add some delicious parsley in there to make

:38:02.:38:06.

it nice and grassy. What we have done to serve this - with anything,

:38:06.:38:12.

you can serve it with rice, with vegetables, a bit of spinach,

:38:12.:38:17.

whatever you fancy, but what I've done is we have sauteed off some

:38:17.:38:22.

potatoes so you've got a nice little bit of carbohydrate in there,

:38:22.:38:26.

a nice bit of crunch. They sit like that then we'll have... It does

:38:26.:38:33.

smell good. One of those on there. This is the best. Time of year for

:38:33.:38:38.

food, Tim. For clothes and food! Autumn is the best time. Then we

:38:38.:38:48.
:38:48.:38:50.

spoon over this delicious sauce. And then finally, we add...

:38:50.:38:56.

these flaked almonds there? Can I sprinkle on? Please feel free to

:38:56.:39:02.

sprinkle it on, Mr Baillie. So you have sherry, flaked almonds, all

:39:02.:39:10.

the flavours in there. Dig in. do you doll this? It's sherry-

:39:10.:39:14.

braised chicken. Sherry-braised chicken? OK. Let's have a bit of a

:39:14.:39:23.

What do you think? Autumny. Quite delicate flavour. Yeah, because the

:39:23.:39:27.

chicken makes it nice and... Hearty. That's delicious! I can imagine

:39:27.:39:33.

that - walking the dogs, coming in out of the cold wind sitting down

:39:33.:39:39.

to a plate of that, fantastic. you got dogs? Yeah, we have four

:39:39.:39:49.

dogs. Four? Four! You said that like I am a Komodo dragon. One of

:39:49.:39:56.

my favourite animals, the Komodo dragons. It's not like I say I have

:39:56.:40:05.

three dogs and a injuroff. It is a lot. What sort of dogs are they?

:40:05.:40:11.

am afraid to say now. You're just going to lash out and stab me in

:40:11.:40:18.

the arm with a fork. Bill is cooking dessert later. What are you

:40:18.:40:22.

doing? An apple and passion fruit meringue. Fantastic. That recipe is

:40:22.:40:30.

on our website. You can also e-mail your questions for Bill or Rafe at

:40:30.:40:38.

SFTW. Are you weird or what? What's wrong with you? Why can't you have

:40:38.:40:48.
:40:48.:40:49.

a hamster like normal people? are they called? Teddy, banjo and

:40:49.:40:55.

Brackon. Three are feral dogs we got on holiday. We took pity on

:40:55.:41:03.

them. How are they getting on with the language barriers? Fine. I do

:41:03.:41:08.

signing. "Do you want -" it's amazing how it works. There is

:41:08.:41:14.

frost on the ground, and Attenborough is back on the telly.

:41:14.:41:23.

It's reached the ocean, and millions of tonnes of ice have lost

:41:23.:41:33.
:41:33.:41:53.

the support of their rocky bed. These icefalls are an ominous sign

:41:53.:41:59.

of what is about to happen. There is a rupture deep within the

:42:00.:42:09.
:42:10.:42:47.

A colossal iceberg is born. And you can watch the incredible

:42:47.:42:51.

cinematography of Frozen Planet Wednesday at 9.00pm. Amazing. You

:42:51.:42:59.

have either watched our guests in Pete Versus Life or the hit Shadow

:42:59.:43:04.

Lion. You won't be able to miss him playing Shakespeare himself in a

:43:05.:43:10.

new film, Anonymous. You are the famous William Shakespeare whose

:43:10.:43:18.

labours I have so enjoyed. I am at your service, sir. My expenses have

:43:18.:43:23.

enlarged - grandised. If your Lordship does not agree to an

:43:23.:43:30.

increase in my fee, then I shall be forced to make certain facts public.

:43:30.:43:38.

Have you any idea to whom you are speaking? Yes, I am addressing the

:43:38.:43:47.

writer of Hamlet - Giulio and Romeo, am I not? Get out. Wait. How much?

:43:47.:43:57.
:43:57.:44:04.

Something for the weekend's Raith Spall.

:44:04.:44:08.

I'm an honest guy, I think it's brilliant. It's a fantastic film.

:44:08.:44:13.

It's so different to anything I've seen recently. It's an old-

:44:13.:44:22.

fashioned film. It's got the period aspect, which studios think are

:44:22.:44:26.

hard to pay for. The director is known for directing things like

:44:26.:44:31.

Independence Day and 2012, so it's a departure for him. The studios,

:44:31.:44:34.

as a favour to him said, you can make your movie that you have

:44:34.:44:39.

wanted to do for 20 years to do this period piece. This works.

:44:39.:44:43.

us what it's about. Without giving away too much because I'm seeing it

:44:43.:44:47.

tomorrow morning. It's about who wrote Shakespeare's plays and

:44:47.:44:50.

there's lots of conspiracies floating around that this man

:44:50.:44:53.

didn't write the plays and this film centres on the theory that it

:44:53.:45:01.

was a guy who was the Earl of Oxford. I play Shakespeare but mine

:45:01.:45:11.
:45:11.:45:12.

is like Fakes-speare but I'm just an actor that got lucky. If the

:45:12.:45:16.

story's not real, it's obviously a huge conspiracy theory, but you get

:45:16.:45:19.

so engrossed and you think it's real and when it's finished I think,

:45:19.:45:24.

no, I don't want it to be real because I like the idea. You like

:45:24.:45:32.

the idea of this guy writing a huge body of work. One person could have

:45:32.:45:42.
:45:42.:45:44.

written Julius caesar and Macbeth and Mim someer Night's Dream, I

:45:44.:45:50.

don't believe Edward De Vere wrote it but if people want to Google him

:45:50.:45:55.

and watch it with a new set of eyes... People love conspiracy

:45:55.:45:59.

theories. Yes and the film is not dry, it's not intellectual, it's a

:45:59.:46:03.

cracking good story, like a thriller. I'm not interested in

:46:03.:46:11.

being in films that are boring and dry. It's fun and it rips alone and

:46:11.:46:15.

it's engaidgeing and it's for everyone -- edge gauging. You've

:46:15.:46:22.

shot a lot of of it on CGI. Period were tough to do years ago because

:46:22.:46:27.

you had to create huge sets, now you can create immense depth?

:46:27.:46:34.

exactly and it's pretty weird doing green screen in period costume. If

:46:34.:46:38.

you are dressed as Shakespeare and everything is green around you

:46:38.:46:43.

that,'s weird. But that's the merit of having someone like Rowland

:46:43.:46:46.

doing it, there are big aeriel shots, have been though helicopter

:46:46.:46:51.

weren't invented then, of 17th century London, which hasn't been

:46:51.:46:56.

seen before. Period pieces are closed in and small, but this is

:46:56.:47:03.

huge with a big scope. Was it hard as an actor, because Shakespeare is

:47:03.:47:07.

your God as an actor. Was it hard to say yes to the film because

:47:07.:47:13.

there are conspiracy theories in it and you are belittling him? Nah!

:47:13.:47:18.

Good! I'm an actor, I want to do good parts, I'm not going to go, to,

:47:18.:47:23.

that's offensive to me and my fellow actors. Yeah, I'll do it,

:47:23.:47:33.
:47:33.:47:34.

when do I start?! You also like doing the TV stuff. I liked you on

:47:35.:47:41.

Friday. Yes, it's a simple thing to say, but comedy's either funny or

:47:41.:47:49.

it's not and my programme was a rip a minute, it's a comedy drama, it's

:47:49.:47:53.

straight up comedy. We've got a clip, but explain what happens in

:47:53.:47:58.

it? I play a sports writer called Pete who is a socially inept

:47:59.:48:03.

awkward all-round loser. I don't know why they cast me! The general

:48:03.:48:12.

can see is that he has two Sky Sports type commentators who are

:48:12.:48:16.

supposed to comment Tate on the football but I comment on the

:48:16.:48:20.

mundaneness of his life. You and Chloe are back together. That's...

:48:20.:48:27.

Yes, it is, isn't it. How did you two hook up again? Erm, well, we

:48:27.:48:31.

bumped into each other and Eva Cassidy was doing a tribute concert

:48:31.:48:37.

and we did it. He's been keeping an eye on her on Facebook for a few

:48:38.:48:43.

months. He engineered bumping into it. But he did have to buy Eva

:48:43.:48:48.

Cassidy albums. It's like a knife in the guts. Some of it is so

:48:48.:48:54.

cringey, I was thinking, oh, my gosh, imagine that situation.

:48:54.:49:00.

British comedy travels and one of the things that defines it is, it's

:49:00.:49:04.

we like to be embarrassed because it makes us feel better about

:49:04.:49:08.

ourselves, do you know what I mean, because we get into awkward

:49:08.:49:13.

situations on a daily basis, so to see Someone in a worst situation.

:49:13.:49:18.

It's comforting. You are getting so many movies now, so are you going

:49:18.:49:24.

to give up the TV? No, I'm not one of those that thinks, I'm going to

:49:24.:49:29.

just do films. I love doing telly, so I don't know why I'd stop doing

:49:29.:49:35.

it. You are doing a new film, Prometheus, the new Ridley Scott

:49:35.:49:42.

one, which is a prequel to Aliens? Yes. Which he directed the first

:49:42.:49:45.

Alien? Yes, and I've been sent an e-mail about what I'm allowed to

:49:45.:49:53.

say and I'm not allowed to say and I haven't read the e-mail. It's out

:49:53.:49:57.

next June in Yes, it's part of the Alien franchise, I know that, I'm

:49:57.:50:07.
:50:07.:50:09.

in it, and I know that and chr Lyse Theron and Michael Fasbender. --

:50:09.:50:14.

Charlize Theron. Alien is one of the best films ever made and it's

:50:14.:50:18.

great to be there on set with a space suit with Ridley Scott

:50:18.:50:23.

speaking to you. Incredible. Yes, it is, that's why I wanted to act,

:50:23.:50:28.

to be an alien in a space suit. It happened, and it was a dream.

:50:28.:50:33.

you seen a final version? No, they keep it under close wraps and tight

:50:33.:50:38.

and don't let anyone see anything. Will it be as food as Alien? I hope

:50:38.:50:43.

so. It's one of the best films ever made, so it's a high mantle, a high

:50:43.:50:48.

bar, but this is the third sci-fi film Ridley Scott's ever directed,

:50:48.:50:52.

the first two were Alien and Bladerunner, but knowing me, it

:50:53.:50:56.

will probably be the worst one he's ever made!

:50:56.:51:00.

I've been all over the Internet looking for trailers and things,

:51:00.:51:05.

there's nothing out there is there? There's a few stills? There is

:51:05.:51:13.

there are a few bits and pieces but they're propective of its --

:51:13.:51:21.

protective of it. Raith is cooking so get your

:51:21.:51:27.

questions in. You can tweet or e-mail us.

:51:27.:51:32.

That is also the same for our other guest Bill Bailey. Here is what

:51:32.:51:36.

else is coming up on the rest of today's show. X Factor, Dragons'

:51:36.:51:42.

Den, Countryfile, they're all in the Impressions Show. I'll match

:51:42.:51:51.

thee row's offer. Congratulations - - Theo's offer. Simon cooks up

:51:51.:51:55.

speet potato massala. And we discover the meaning of

:51:55.:52:01.

vocation in Young Nuns. Somehow I knew that that was where God wanted

:52:01.:52:07.

me to be. Very shortly, we'll be checking out

:52:07.:52:12.

the trick or treat must-haves with this little lot over there.Like at

:52:12.:52:19.

them all! They're all there. Your son's there, is he? I don't know,

:52:20.:52:27.

is he? I can't see. I think so. I can't see actually. OK, not at

:52:27.:52:30.

the moment. We are going to look at those. But before that, Bill,

:52:30.:52:33.

you're in the kitchen to do some cooking with us. I can't remember,

:52:33.:52:38.

are you any good at cooking? I used to cook a lot, then I got quite

:52:38.:52:43.

busy, my skills have gotten a bit Rusty, so I used to when I was

:52:43.:52:49.

living on my own on a house boat. Oh, I was a dab hand. Then, I'd

:52:49.:52:53.

knock up anything. How long did you live on a house boat for? Three

:52:53.:52:57.

years. Any good? Great fun. It's never appealed to me that. Great

:52:57.:53:02.

fun. A bit cold in the winter. was going to say it must be cold.

:53:02.:53:06.

bit nippy, but if you don't mind scraping barnacles off your hole

:53:06.:53:11.

every now and again, it's quite fun. We've all done that. Did you move

:53:11.:53:16.

it or stay in one place? You can take them up and down the river but

:53:16.:53:21.

I stayed in one place, it was a nice little community. Big inside?

:53:22.:53:27.

Yes, massive. Like a Tardis. many rooms do they have? Mine had a

:53:27.:53:33.

bedroom and a living area and a galley, you know, and a wheel house.

:53:33.:53:38.

It was... Did you live in it by chance because it's never something

:53:38.:53:44.

that appealed to me, but did you say, I fancy that or... It was out

:53:44.:53:48.

of financial restraints I think. I'd have preferred a flat, but it

:53:48.:53:52.

was cheap, you know, and at the time I thought, this is a cheap way

:53:52.:53:56.

of living in London because the mooring fees at the time were quite

:53:56.:53:59.

small so you know, you'd get a phone line, you know, bottled gas

:53:59.:54:04.

for your cooking and a little heater. It was good fun. Did you

:54:05.:54:09.

have electricity plumbed in as well? Yes, and a little stove. It

:54:09.:54:19.
:54:19.:54:19.

was great. I might look into that! Yes, with your pipe like that, like

:54:19.:54:24.

Popeye. Down the canal. We are going to make an apple and passion

:54:24.:54:29.

fruit meringue tart. Pastry is milk, egg, butter, flour, shugary, and

:54:29.:54:33.

the filling is passion fruit, sugar, apples and egg whites and sugar for

:54:33.:54:43.

the topping. -- sugar. Flour sugar butter, add the egg, bind it and

:54:43.:54:48.

bake it so the tart case is done. It's mundane our first task on this,

:54:48.:54:58.
:54:58.:55:00.

Bill. It's peeping apples. So you grab a peeler, any peeler. You are

:55:00.:55:05.

going to be in Doctor Who this year, aren't you? Yes, I'm in the

:55:05.:55:11.

Christmas special. Who are you playing? Obviously I'm sworn to

:55:11.:55:20.

secrecy, but I am ploying a human's oid. A lot of people have saying --

:55:20.:55:28.

have been saying, they'll save a few quid for the make-up. --

:55:28.:55:36.

playing a humanoid. He's like a futuristic space person.

:55:36.:55:43.

I do have to cut these? Yes, then if you cut down the middle and cut

:55:43.:55:49.

it across again, then you can cut the core out. OK. Still into birds,

:55:50.:55:59.
:56:00.:56:06.

bird-watching? Yes, birds, yeah, Look at that!

:56:06.:56:10.

My friend Kerry, lovely bloke, filmmaker, one day was on holiday

:56:10.:56:14.

with his wife and suddenly all these people turned up from nowhere

:56:14.:56:17.

with cameras looking at this bird and he was fascinate sod he thought

:56:17.:56:21.

I'm going to make a film about these people. So he tried to lack

:56:21.:56:25.

into them and it's gone native because he's become one himself,

:56:25.:56:35.

he's become so obsessed. Gone a bit ferrel? Yes. I've got mates who've

:56:35.:56:40.

done bird-watching. He's doing a music, bird and art festival where

:56:40.:56:47.

people are all coming tot about it all. It becomes obsessive? Yes,

:56:47.:56:54.

when I was a kid, we used to go to Slimbridge to some of the bird

:56:54.:56:58.

sanctuarys, so it became like the kind of classic family day out.

:56:58.:57:04.

We'd go to the reservoir and see if we could see a grebe, you know.

:57:04.:57:12.

That was part of my childhood, you know. So it followed that when I'm

:57:12.:57:16.

touring, I take the binoculars to see what I can see because I've

:57:16.:57:19.

just got this thing, I needed to know the names of things. I got to

:57:19.:57:24.

the point where I have a child and I want to know, I want to tell him

:57:24.:57:29.

the names of bird in the garden, I don't want to look out there and go,

:57:29.:57:33.

oh, I don't know what that that is, it's a sense of wanting to know the

:57:33.:57:38.

world around you. It's good to get out. There are conspiracy theories

:57:38.:57:42.

going on about which birds are extinct and which are still around

:57:42.:57:49.

and things like that, isn't there? Yes, there are hard core bird-

:57:49.:57:53.

watchers, the twitch,, they're on the pagers all the time, you know,

:57:53.:57:59.

and it's like oh, one in Devon, go, go, go, and I'm not quite at that

:57:59.:58:04.

level. Do you fall into different categories where you say, I'm

:58:04.:58:10.

massively interested in a certain type of bird. That's true, that's

:58:10.:58:18.

rieblt. But -- that's right. But there are certain people that, you

:58:18.:58:21.

know, little song bird and small ones, they're just little brown

:58:21.:58:26.

bird, you know, why are you interested in that now for, you

:58:26.:58:31.

know, and the other people will say, I like song bird an garden birds.

:58:31.:58:35.

think I would go for herons and King fishers. You would be near

:58:35.:58:44.

water and you would see them. see heron everywhere. And flamingos.

:58:44.:58:54.
:58:54.:59:01.

Some in Manchester as well now. Manchester parakeets - all right.

:59:01.:59:08.

All right. How am I doing with this? Beautiful. Whilst you have

:59:08.:59:13.

been slicing, I have put them in a pan with some sugar. We cut those

:59:13.:59:20.

down nice and soft. Next, I have scooped out all the passion fruit

:59:20.:59:24.

pulps. Now we're getting delicious perfume into there. Tip that in and

:59:24.:59:28.

mix it all together. Look at that. The people I like when they have

:59:28.:59:33.

hobbys are the storm chasers. would love to do that. You don't

:59:33.:59:42.

get that in Britain, do you? You get drig -- drizzle chasers! Light

:59:42.:59:47.

drizzle, everyone, in Manchester! Light drizzle. It's not going to

:59:47.:59:51.

happen, is it? I was driving through America once with my mate.

:59:51.:59:57.

There was a twister. I was like, go for it. See what happens. He didn't.

:59:57.:00:01.

He got scared. I thought that would be exciting, to chase the weather

:00:01.:00:05.

around. That's delicious, but we want to top it with meringue. So

:00:05.:00:10.

Bill, that's all cooked. But you don't cook the passion fruit?

:00:11.:00:14.

All that's going to happen now is the meringue will go back in the

:00:14.:00:20.

oven so it will warm. Warm up. Start whisking that fella, then I

:00:20.:00:26.

will tip in sugar as we go. We're going to do this quickly. Basically,

:00:26.:00:31.

add the sugar a little at a time, whisk it, as it combines add more

:00:31.:00:36.

so it becomes nice and toffee-ish. We haven't got time to do that.

:00:36.:00:42.

Let's imagine. Does this switch off at all or I... Just hold it forever.

:00:42.:00:47.

Brilliant. This is soft. As you whisk it more and more and more, it

:00:47.:00:53.

will get thicker and become easy to manipulate. Basically, what we do

:00:53.:01:00.

is - see how soft that is? You lift it so it stays in position.

:01:00.:01:05.

peaks. Put it in the oven, five minutes or so, and what you end up

:01:05.:01:10.

with is this one we did earlier., if you remember. Oh, yeah, the one

:01:10.:01:20.
:01:20.:01:23.

like this. Because we want it to be really fruity, you want a solid,

:01:23.:01:27.

you can add the egg in. I don't want that. I want the fruit. It's

:01:27.:01:32.

English apple season. You want all of this delicious fruit, so I'll

:01:32.:01:41.

get a big slab. I mate made it with my own hands - not even my hands -

:01:41.:01:51.
:01:51.:01:53.

my eyebrows! Thanks, Rafe. Thanks, mate. Look at that. Can I grab a

:01:53.:01:59.

blackberry with it? Grab a blackberry. Rafe is in the kitchen.

:02:00.:02:06.

What he's doing? A sweet potato curry. I look forward to that.

:02:06.:02:11.

That's beautiful. And your fruit - one of your five a day. Right.

:02:11.:02:14.

Cocktails with Wayne next. But first, the second and last chance

:02:14.:02:18.

to guess the year of the number one - the news stories and the film in

:02:18.:02:28.
:02:28.:02:31.

# What about breakfast at Tiffany's?

:02:31.:02:35.

# She said I think I remember the Fillmont

:02:35.:02:39.

# Yes, I recall I think we both # Kind of liked it

:02:39.:02:45.

# I said that's the first thing we have got. The world's first

:02:45.:02:50.

processed food to be made from modified food is to go on sale here.

:02:50.:02:54.

It was for and away the most serious incident in the Channel

:02:54.:02:58.

Tunnel's two years of operation. The fire broke out when the train

:02:58.:03:03.

was approximately 12 miles out of Calais. After an absence of 700

:03:03.:03:09.

years the stone of destiny is returning to Scotland. It has been

:03:09.:03:19.
:03:19.:03:24.

kept at Westminster Abbey ever at Tiffany's? She said, "I think I

:03:24.:03:29.

remember the -"" Enough is enough. You have cajoled and killed and

:03:29.:03:33.

used it with people from the inside. You want to shake hands with the

:03:33.:03:40.

devil. That's fine. I just want to make sure you do it in hell.

:03:40.:03:50.
:03:50.:03:56.

What year GM food goes on sale - Rafe, what year do you reckon that

:03:57.:04:03.

was? '95. What did you reckon? bit later, '99. The answer will be

:04:03.:04:09.

revealed at the end of the show. Rafe, we're making cocktails. Do

:04:09.:04:19.
:04:19.:04:22.

you like a cocktail? I do. What's your favourite? A martini with

:04:22.:04:29.

tanquaray. I like it dry, learned it from Madmen. We were out at the

:04:29.:04:34.

Savoy, and they spent forever making this old-fashioned, stir and

:04:34.:04:38.

stir. Nice and cold. But we're not making that. We're making dessert.

:04:38.:04:44.

We're doing a liquid alternative to a couple of great desserts we love,

:04:44.:04:49.

cheesecake and apple cremeon. This is a cheesecake cocktail with

:04:49.:04:59.

Mascarpone cheese. I am using it for the actual texture. Lovely.

:04:59.:05:03.

You use natural yogurt because it has a sour edge to it. That'll help.

:05:03.:05:08.

A good tablespoon of that goes in, followed by our sweetener, a bit of

:05:08.:05:12.

vanilla. We need to have that. Then we're going to have a good shot and

:05:12.:05:20.

a half of vodka, like that, a bit of lemon liqueur. By the way, you

:05:20.:05:24.

can hear children in the background. We're about to do a Hallowe'en

:05:24.:05:27.

special with the kids and the outfits. That's what they're here

:05:27.:05:34.

for - not the cocktails! Lemon zest will make it nice and fragrant and

:05:34.:05:38.

give it that cheesecake character. So you would have this instead of a

:05:38.:05:41.

dessert? Totally. This is a dessert that ends with happiness.

:05:41.:05:51.
:05:51.:05:57.

there because there is not much flavour in Mascarpone, but it

:05:57.:06:03.

emulsifys nicely and gives it a nice texture to the drink. I am

:06:03.:06:07.

going to give you one each. You can serve this with coffee.

:06:07.:06:17.

That's like a sherry glass. Like a shot? You can see the thickness and

:06:17.:06:22.

texture of it. Easy. The last thing is a little bit of digestive

:06:22.:06:27.

crumble on top. When you drink it, it tastes just like lemon

:06:27.:06:32.

cheesecake. Cheers. Cheers. Really surprisingly cheesecake in

:06:32.:06:38.

character. That is exactly like a liquid cheesecake. That's lovely.

:06:38.:06:46.

That's delicious, really good. one is a little twist on an apple

:06:46.:06:51.

crumble. We have some Bramley apple sauce there, a little bit of lemon

:06:51.:06:57.

juice, acid - sweetener, sugar, a pinch of ground allspice, nutmeg

:06:57.:07:03.

and cinnamon, which you'll find in traditional apple crumble. Then

:07:03.:07:08.

whiskey which goes fantastic with apple flavours and things like

:07:08.:07:12.

liqueurs. You have to have green liqueur to give it a little apple

:07:12.:07:18.

bite to it. We'll give it a nice shape-up as well. Are these - when

:07:18.:07:26.

you make these sort of drinks, are they popular? You'll see more

:07:26.:07:29.

restaurants are serving more alternative liquid desserts with

:07:29.:07:34.

coffee. I think it's nice if you don't want to have a full dessert.

:07:34.:07:40.

It's very creative. You learn a lot from various chefs at different

:07:40.:07:49.

restaurants. We have a glass of crushed ice here. In an Old

:07:49.:07:52.

Fashioned you need a nice cube of ice. What's the difference between

:07:52.:07:56.

crushed and cubes? Normally, you have nice solid, fresh ice, it will

:07:56.:08:01.

help to maintain the temperature for longer without diluting it. Now

:08:01.:08:06.

you have these wonderful companies making big blocks of ice. Wow, one

:08:06.:08:10.

big cube in a drink. Once you have the right dilution, you pour it

:08:10.:08:19.

over a cube, and it just stays cold. Without the dilution. So we have

:08:19.:08:24.

apple sauce on top, goes in there. There is our crumble. So you have

:08:24.:08:28.

the crumbly ice as well. I have never had a biscuit drink!

:08:28.:08:32.

LAUGHTER You could blend up some Oreo

:08:32.:08:37.

cookies. That would work. Have a try of that. It tastes just like

:08:37.:08:44.

that spiced apple. You have the blended Scottish working with the

:08:44.:08:48.

apple... That's really, really lovely. It's like a strudel.

:08:48.:08:54.

would be really happy with that. Cheers! Nice. Those cocktails can

:08:54.:09:01.

be found on our website. These guys are at the top of their game at the

:09:01.:09:11.
:09:11.:09:18.

moment. It's the Imelda Mayhem with Do it in soya. Lack together gives

:09:18.:09:22.

me glass. A real man wouldn't worry about gas. Blow it out. Let them

:09:22.:09:26.

know you're there. Yes, your Holiness. It was me. You might want

:09:26.:09:32.

to open a window. I have another one brewing. Tea. Four sugars, love.

:09:33.:09:40.

I'll get these. How much? �4.50, please. OK. I am going to offer you

:09:40.:09:45.

all of the money, but I get 100% of the drinks. I don't really care who

:09:45.:09:51.

gets the drinks. I just need �4.50. Now, hang on, hang on, hang on,

:09:52.:09:56.

hang on. Now, you've still got another Dragon in here. Let me tell

:09:56.:10:00.

you where I am at. I own one of the leading retail outlets in the

:10:00.:10:05.

country. It's not relevant, but always feel the need to mention it.

:10:05.:10:09.

Make an offer or butt out. right. I will! I'm prepared to

:10:09.:10:19.
:10:19.:10:20.

offer you the �2.25, but I am going to want 50% of the drinks. I don't

:10:20.:10:27.

care if you pay separately. I just need the �4.50. OK. I'll match his

:10:27.:10:33.

offer. Congratulations. You've got yourselves two Dragons. Well done,

:10:33.:10:42.

Theo. I like the way you buy coffee. I'm out, but you can see all the

:10:42.:10:46.

stars in The Imelda Mayhem Thursday, 8.30pm on BBC One. It's time for

:10:46.:10:49.

some things for the weekend. Hallowe'en has come a little bit

:10:49.:10:55.

early to the studio, hasn't it? How many weeks away is it? Next week,

:10:55.:10:58.

next weekend. We're getting into the spirit of things here on

:10:58.:11:06.

Something For the Weekend. See what I am doing there? Good. We're going

:11:06.:11:12.

to start with Ollie and George. Do you want to come over?

:11:12.:11:15.

SCREAM I know Ollie has been extremely

:11:15.:11:20.

excited about wearing the mummy's outfit all day - highlight of his

:11:20.:11:26.

week. Can you see through that? really. Hello. How are you? This is

:11:26.:11:31.

George. Tasty, isn't it Who is quite possibly one of the jolliest

:11:31.:11:41.
:11:41.:11:41.

babies I ever met. Hello, ras cal. What are they... The outfit is from

:11:41.:11:48.

reddot.co.uk. George is wearing the pumpkin outfit, �10 from Tesco.

:11:48.:11:57.

Thank you, George. Give it back. Urrrgh! Got it. Thanks, Ollie.

:11:57.:12:02.

little brothers now, who are possibly the coolest dudes. Come on

:12:02.:12:06.

over. Do you want to stand there? Come in here. That's it. Now,

:12:06.:12:12.

dressed as Dracula, as you'll see. We have practised this before. Do a

:12:12.:12:18.

twirl for us. There we go! These costumes are from ASDA. If you

:12:18.:12:23.

sponsor one of these - good boy, Frank. Stanley, do you want to put

:12:23.:12:29.

those down as well? We have practised this. Let's hope it works.

:12:29.:12:38.

These are the Hex-Book Spiders. There we go. Whose is that one?

:12:38.:12:43.

They can be everybody's. We'll share. Do you have a remote

:12:43.:12:49.

control? I do. These are the Hex Book Spiders. You get one, but you

:12:49.:12:54.

can control more than one. They have a 360-degree rotation on the

:12:54.:13:03.

top. They're not going! Maybe give them a bit of a kick then. Do you

:13:03.:13:11.

like them? Marks out of ten? Marks out of ten? Go on. Good boys. Thank

:13:11.:13:16.

you very much. And do you want to wave to your friends? Off you go.

:13:17.:13:21.

Expertly done. Alfie, are you coming over? Lift your mask up so

:13:21.:13:26.

you can see what you're doing. Come and join us here. Alfie is dressed

:13:26.:13:34.

as Jack Skellington, a very cool outfit. Do you like that outfit?

:13:34.:13:41.

Yes. In your hand there you have the headphones... Scary! Put your

:13:42.:13:49.

mask back on. Cheeky. Can you pass me one of those quickly? These are

:13:49.:13:59.
:13:59.:14:06.

Let's dance, Alfie. You must have some moves in your locker? How are

:14:06.:14:12.

you going to woo the girls? Down with the kids. I think he thinks we

:14:12.:14:19.

are both geeky. That one's �1.99? Yes, thumbs up? Yes. We'll finish

:14:19.:14:24.

with that one. You would like to move on that way, Alfie. Good boy.

:14:24.:14:29.

Little Grace. She's dressed as a little witch. Very pretty little

:14:29.:14:35.

witch though, aren't you?! Is that you?! This outfit is from

:14:35.:14:40.

Wilkinson's, it's �5. You like this, don't you, it's a pretty one and

:14:41.:14:47.

the make-up. What is in your hands? The Monster High Doll. Do you like

:14:47.:14:54.

this? Yes. How many marks out of ten? Ten's the best. Do you think

:14:54.:14:59.

ten? Yes. The we turn it round so we can see it on the camera. Good

:14:59.:15:03.

girl. These are from �14.99 and related to spooky people, this is

:15:03.:15:09.

the daughter of a ghost. They're not really scary are they? No.

:15:09.:15:15.

We like them. OK, Dax, another cool name, this is

:15:15.:15:20.

Bill's son. Come and join us. Bailey's son. You've done this

:15:20.:15:26.

before, haven't you? Yes. Show us your face. Give us a peep! Cool

:15:26.:15:32.

hair as well. This outfit is from Sainsbury's,

:15:32.:15:37.

12-�146789 does it get the thumbs up from you, Dax? Yes. What have

:15:37.:15:43.

you got in your hand, a drink? blood. Inspired by the series, this

:15:43.:15:46.

is the True Blood. Do you want to pour some for us?

:15:46.:15:52.

I'll take that, you pour it. Have you tried this already? No.

:15:52.:15:58.

we've got the taste test. Pour me some as well. OK. It's very nice.

:15:58.:16:03.

That's it. A bit heavy handed. There we go. Do you want to try

:16:03.:16:11.

that? Blood-type C, I believe. Done this before? Do you like that?

:16:11.:16:18.

It's very sweet. You're a cool dude you, Dax, aren't you? Does it get

:16:18.:16:26.

the thumbs up? Yes. It's not cheap but it's the blood they use in the

:16:26.:16:32.

HBO series and it's �5.95. Dax take your blood that way. We've got your

:16:32.:16:38.

two little rascals, Grace and Rose. Loving the make-up!. So, Grace,

:16:38.:16:44.

what have you got a The white chocolate skull that is �100.

:16:44.:16:50.

What?! With the decoration. Stick that in a bag afterwards and flog

:16:50.:16:54.

it on eBay. It's cheaper without the lovely decorations. What have

:16:54.:17:00.

you got? A jelly brain and that's �20 and it looks yummy and smells

:17:00.:17:06.

like strawberries. OK, take a bite then. The pirate outfit from Tesco

:17:06.:17:14.

is �10 this one and Sainsbury's this one 8-12 pounds. Do you want

:17:14.:17:19.

to join us? Get a bite out of there, out the middle of it. That's it.

:17:19.:17:24.

That's better, well done Dax. Come in prbgs kids, all of you. There

:17:24.:17:32.

you go, come in. Thanks to Nikki and Dax Bailey and the other little

:17:32.:17:35.

monsters there. For more information on the Halloween stuff

:17:35.:17:39.

e-mail us via the website and we'll get it back to you. This is a

:17:39.:17:42.

documentary on the aspect of life that we don't hear that much about.

:17:42.:17:50.

Clara is about to enter a life of poverty, chastity, obedience and

:17:50.:17:59.

silence in Young Nuns. You can actually click on the nuns on a

:17:59.:18:02.

virtual tour and see them having their recreation. They have their

:18:03.:18:10.

summer hats on. They're quite cute. Clara's chosen a life of silence

:18:10.:18:15.

and contemplation. When she enters the Abbey, she'll spend up to seven

:18:15.:18:23.

hours a day in prayer. You're not raetly meant to talk and have a

:18:23.:18:29.

kofpb station about in addition -- -- you're not really meant to talk

:18:29.:18:32.

and have a conversation about anything. That will get to me, the

:18:32.:18:37.

silence, and at meal times as well, trying not to talk and laugh.

:18:37.:18:41.

many communities of nuns are struggling to survive, Clara's

:18:41.:18:46.

order is flour ushing. In the last five years, they've welcomed eight

:18:46.:18:53.

new sisters, the youngest only 19. I just felt really happy there and

:18:53.:18:58.

somehow I knew that that was where God wanted me to be. I felt this

:18:59.:19:06.

amazing sense of peace that I hadn't felt before.

:19:06.:19:11.

Fascinating story there, you can follow that journey in Young Nuns

:19:11.:19:17.

on Tuesday at 10.35 on BBC One. Raith, you made it into the kitchen.

:19:17.:19:24.

I'm here. Remind us how good you are? I asked you to -- I remember

:19:24.:19:30.

you asked me to separate an egg white from a yolk and I did it.

:19:30.:19:35.

did. I tickled it. What is this about you liking chicken livers?

:19:36.:19:40.

a bolognese. Never done that before. Not a fan of liver but if you put

:19:40.:19:45.

it in a bolognese, soak 'em in milk, chop 'em up fine, fry them with the

:19:45.:19:49.

mince, it's the nice, rich, creamy flavour and put all the milk in as

:19:49.:19:56.

well. You know your stuff. Sort of. What are we doing now? A simple

:19:56.:20:03.

curry. It's about the curry this, speet potato and peas. It's about

:20:03.:20:10.

making your own curry sauce really cumin, peas, coriander, curry

:20:10.:20:17.

powder, chilli, garlic, ginger, tomatoes, white wine, coconut milk,

:20:17.:20:20.

cinnamon and sweet potatoes. I'm going to toast the spices. In the

:20:20.:20:25.

real world, you would do this slowly, so I would put them in a

:20:25.:20:30.

cold pan, turn the heat on... them dry? Yes. If ever you have

:20:30.:20:35.

eaten a curry and it has that bitterness behind it, generally

:20:35.:20:40.

they don't toast the spices. What you want to do is release the oils

:20:40.:20:45.

from the spices and so dry frying them is what you need to do. We are

:20:45.:20:50.

cooking them too quickly really. If you do it gently, as it warms, the

:20:50.:20:57.

oil releases at a more even rate. We are just doing it quickly. You

:20:57.:21:01.

can smell already the cumin seeds start to have a nose on them. If

:21:01.:21:05.

you do it slowly, that will take five minutes. Will it burn more

:21:05.:21:08.

easily as well like that? Of course, yes, because it's really, really

:21:09.:21:13.

high. On a lower heat and every now and again give it a move around.

:21:13.:21:19.

Stpwh you don't want to let them burn. Yes. You've had an

:21:19.:21:23.

interesting relationship with food in your life, haven't you?

:21:23.:21:30.

suppose you could say that. lost what? Five-and-a-half stone.

:21:30.:21:35.

You support drals and you would go to the football matches and buy

:21:35.:21:40.

what, two hot dogs? Yes, I would watch them, buy two hot dogs and a

:21:40.:21:45.

packet of minstrels for pudding. And you would eat that? Yes, that

:21:45.:21:54.

was after lunch. -- you support Crystal Palace. If you fancy making

:21:54.:21:58.

your own curry or anything spicy, this is great to have. Before we

:21:58.:22:02.

did the prawns and grind it with a pesle and mortar, but because of

:22:02.:22:09.

this, wanting it to be nice and fine, it's great. And the finer,

:22:09.:22:16.

the better. Then just tip those straight in. It's not ready yet.

:22:16.:22:24.

Oh! That made me jump. Is that just like that, you just open it?

:22:24.:22:27.

came off completely before. thought you were good in the

:22:28.:22:32.

kitchen. Never used one of these before. Gadgets are the things that

:22:32.:22:38.

do it for all of us. Tip those in there. How do you get the lid off?

:22:38.:22:43.

Go for tit. There you go. Tip those in and they could do with maybe

:22:44.:22:48.

being a little finer. Grind those down and again, on a low heat.

:22:48.:22:53.

Straightaway, you smell the coriander and a lovely bit of per

:22:53.:22:58.

yuem aroma. The next thing, as they cook away matchsticking on your

:22:58.:23:05.

ginger, please, young man -- perfume aroma. Slices and then

:23:05.:23:14.

little strips. I - Liz Evans said, I love your character in the

:23:14.:23:18.

shadowline, what was it like a play a dark character? Brilliant. I've

:23:18.:23:22.

done lots of character so it's nice to do something a bit serious. It's

:23:22.:23:28.

fun playing a psychopath, you know. But I got married during the making

:23:28.:23:32.

of that so that was a funny thing, you know, playing such a terrible

:23:32.:23:36.

character and then... Being nice at home? Yes. That must have been

:23:37.:23:43.

tricky. Well... Do you take your characters home with you or not?

:23:43.:23:48.

You're not allowed to really, you can't because you get home and you

:23:48.:23:52.

have to empty the dishwasher and take the bins out, so you're not

:23:52.:23:57.

really allowed. Tell us about One Day? Yes, the adaptation of the

:23:57.:24:02.

Dave Nicholls book One Day. He adapted his own screen play with

:24:02.:24:10.

Ann Hathaway and Dean stur Jess and I play the boy that Ann doesn't end

:24:10.:24:20.
:24:20.:24:23.

up with -- Sturgss. -- Sturgess. People say you stole the show on

:24:23.:24:26.

that? Not sure about that. It's nice to have pride in it? It's nice

:24:26.:24:31.

to know people do like it, yes. We've got all the spices. This is

:24:31.:24:35.

smelling love lift even though we should cook it more slowly. Chuck

:24:35.:24:40.

all the ginger in there as well. We've done this in three minutes,

:24:40.:24:45.

when in reality, it would take 12 or 15. Nice and slow. That goes in.

:24:45.:24:51.

And then, cube a bit of sweet potato for me. We glug in a bit of

:24:51.:24:56.

white wine into this. All of that goes in so we get that delicious

:24:57.:25:02.

boozey flavour. You could add stock to it. Something quite nice about

:25:02.:25:09.

wine in curries, Vindaloo is based around wed rhine, -- red wine.

:25:09.:25:13.

You don't think of wine being in Indian cooking for some reason, do

:25:13.:25:21.

you? A lot of the original spices came from Portugal. I see. Vindaloo

:25:21.:25:29.

is wine and potatoes vin-da-loo. Genius. You don't cook this first,

:25:29.:25:34.

it goes straight in? Once that's gone in, add water as the wine

:25:34.:25:40.

reduces, and we end up with this. Now you can add spinach to it, you

:25:40.:25:45.

could add chick peas, aubergine, whatever you fancy, but it's about

:25:45.:25:48.

making the curry sauce. We are going to add a couple of peas.

:25:49.:25:55.

Cooked peas? Frozen, yes. Can you throw them in frozen? Yes. Chuck in

:25:55.:26:00.

a bit of coconut milk. Stir that around and finally we are going to

:26:00.:26:04.

chop in a bit of coriander. It's about that curry sauce which is

:26:04.:26:08.

dead ease. Grind the spices, fry them off, cinnamon, tomatoes,

:26:08.:26:13.

whatever veg you want and it's that simple. You end up with a really

:26:13.:26:16.

delicious home-made curry that's better than anything you are going

:26:16.:26:21.

to buy anywhere else. To serve it, we've got a bit of rice there,

:26:21.:26:27.

we've got a bit of naan bread so it's a proper one. When you make

:26:28.:26:33.

curry, it never tastes like it does as a take away. That will be nicer,

:26:33.:26:36.

without the shadow of a doubt because it's your own creation. The

:26:36.:26:39.

thing about it is, once you start making your own curries, you will

:26:39.:26:43.

find flavours that you like, so it might well be that you like more

:26:43.:26:51.

cardamom in it or cumin. What about garamasala? Again, if there are

:26:51.:26:57.

basic flavours you like, you love that so add that into it. You keep

:26:57.:27:06.

doing that, but we need to find out about Deja View, Tim? We are busy

:27:06.:27:11.

eating this. Deja View, genetically modified tomatoes went on sale and

:27:11.:27:19.

Deep Blue Something sang. It's 1996. You said that to me then you

:27:19.:27:26.

changed it. Yes. Have a go at that. You were so

:27:26.:27:32.

far out, Simon. When does your tour begin? November in Birmingham. All

:27:32.:27:37.

around the country and we end up in Belfast beginning of December.

:27:37.:27:41.

was talking to you earlier, you have another TV thing coming up,

:27:41.:27:44.

it's interesting because it's another conspiracy theory? Yes, a

:27:44.:27:48.

documentary about Alfred Wallace, a contemporary of Darwin and a lot of

:27:48.:27:54.

people think that Wallace actually was the originator of the theory of

:27:54.:28:00.

evolution and that Darwin appropriated his ideas. Is nothing

:28:00.:28:04.

sacred? What next, Jesus isn't the son of God. Can't believe anyone

:28:04.:28:11.

now. Is it a drama or a documentary?

:28:11.:28:16.

I've never even heard of that. was an amateur biologist and

:28:16.:28:20.

explorer and travelled around the world. He came up with a theory,

:28:20.:28:24.

having studied insects and birds, he used to collect them and send

:28:24.:28:28.

them back to Britain. He wrote a letter to Darwin and he looked at

:28:28.:28:33.

them and that's what prompted hum to publish the theory of evolution.

:28:33.:28:36.

I'm getting on the Internet! I will steal his idea, make lots of money

:28:36.:28:42.

and become famous. That is it, it's the end of the show, thanks to our

:28:42.:28:49.

Tim Lovejoy, Louise Redknapp and chef Simon Rimmer's guests are comedian Bill Bailey and 'One Day' actor Rafe Spall. There's cooking, gadgeting, cocktailing and previewing the best of next week's TV.


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