Episode 3 The Great Comic Relief Bake Off

We've managed to lure four more celebrity Comic Relief supporters

into our Bake Off tent, using a little trail

of mini Battenberg cakes and the musk of Paul Hollywood.

They're in there now,

whisking themselves into a frenzy for Paul and for Mary in a bid to

raise lots of money and, if all goes to plan, inspire you to do the same.

So, I hope you're sitting there comfortably with your nice,

warming cup of tea and a nice little tray of sweet meats because,

as you know, anything can happen in that tent.

Welcome to the Great Comic Relief Bake Off.

'For these special programmes,

'the Bake Off rules have been relaxed, so a host of well-known

'personalities can lay their baking skills bare for Comic Relief.

'The brave batch tying the apron strings tonight are...

'four-times gold medal winner and world record holder

'Ellie Simmonds is the youngest person to be awarded

'an MBE for her achievements as a Paralympic swimmer.'

I am The Great British Bake Off's biggest fan,

so it's an opportunity to do it and try out my baking skills.

I'm excited.

'One of Britain's most experienced television journalists,

'Kirsty Wark has fronted Newsnight for the past 20 years.'

Today the Prime Minister unveiled his latest transformational

plan called Smarter Government.

Anything I can do to support Comic Relief,

and have a bit of fun at the same time, is worth doing in my book

and I love baking, so it's a great combination.

'Television presenter Julia Bradbury,

'best known for presenting Countryfile.'

This is one of the largest surviving

ancient grazing marsh systems in the UK.

So I'm feeling a little bit nervous, apprehensive,

but also quite excited.

I have no idea what sort of baker I'm going to be under pressure

because I have no idea what sort of baker I am.

And comedian Bob Mortimer,

famous for his much-loved partnership with Vic Reeves.

True or false, Ulrika, Alan Sugar is actually 30% Canderel?

LAUGHTER

I'm nervous, I'm looking forward to the end,

hopefully having not failed completely, you know?

I've got a feeling that I'm up against some proper cooks.

There's a lot of swag going on.

'And Lorraine Pascale will be in Ghana,

'finding out about the projects Comic Relief supports.'

This is very good.

'But who is about to impress Mary Berry?'

Actual flavours are absolutely delicious.

'And Paul Hollywood?'

It does taste excellent.

'And become tonight's Comic Relief Star Baker?'

-That's good.

-I snorted again!

'Julia, Bob, Ellie and Kirsty are about to show Paul

'and Mary the level of their baking skills,

'with a tried-and-tested recipe in the Signature Challenge.'

Welcome, Comic Relief bakers, to Mary and Paul's patch.

So, it's time for the Signature Challenge

and we'd like you to make something without which an afternoon tea

would simply be an afternoon.

-Scones, or is it "scoans"? Mary, "scoans"?

-Scones.

-Scones.

-Definitely.

Scones.

So we'd like you to make 18 of these little fellas

and any flavours that you use to accompany should be complementary.

So you've got an hour and a half on the clock before you need to present the scones.

On your marks, get set, bake for Comic Relief.

'If you're thinking about making something for a bake sale,

'scones are a great choice.

'You can make multiple batches and, like our new-recruit bakers,

'get creative with flavours.'

SHE LAUGHS

It's going everywhere!

A scone sounds dead easy, but it's not.

It's got to be very light, they've got to choose the right flour,

they've got to have the right raising agent, then they've got all the flavourings.

If you can make a good scone, you're well on your way to becoming a good baker.

It's just about their interpretation that will make it a fantastic scone.

I'm expecting great things.

'To start, scones are made by bringing together butter,

'flour, sugar and baking powder.'

I'm making a chocolate-and-orange scone.

I don't really have time to do baking with all the training

that I do, but when I do, I love it and I really enjoy it,

it's quite relaxing.

The recipe's gone wrong, someone's missed out the sugar.

I know who's done this wrong, as well...me dad!

'Ellie's love of baking means she's always the one who makes

'the birthday cakes for her team-mates.

'She's making sweet scones with chocolate drops and orange zest.'

-How you getting on?

-I think OK.

I got a bit lost, I think my instructions were a bit wrong.

-Why? What happened?

-There's no sugar.

-How much is your recipe? How much flour is it?

-700 grams.

-Have you weighed up any sugar?

-Yeah, I put 150 grams.

-Well, that's fine.

And you're putting some orange juice in that, too?

Well, I put it half-and-half with milk so...

I think that's most unusual and it's going to be different.

-Good luck, Ellie. I'm looking forward to those.

-Thank you.

I've made these scones a bit before.

I like scones for breakfast, it's what I do.

'Kirsty was taught to bake by her mum and grandmother.

'Her savoury scones are made with a local Scottish cheese,

'chives and served with homemade butter.'

-Would you like to try?

-Mm, please. That's beautiful.

-It's a nice cheese.

-I love the idea of fresh chives.

You'll have the flecks of chives all the way through.

-Are you putting egg wash or milk on the top?

-Egg wash.

-It's quite different, isn't it?

-Yeah, I like that cheese.

Thank you very much indeed.

I'm doing jalapeno, Parmigiano and Parma ham scones.

Well, it started off as a friend's recipe

and I decided to throw in Parma ham cos it was posher.

'Preferring to cook, Julia has only recently taken up baking,

'but is testing her new skills with a rather unusual savoury scone recipe.'

So you're using both yeast and baking powder,

you've got double raising agents in there so it should rise.

It should rise, I hope so, Mary, I hope it's foolproof.

-Do you rest it before you then bake it...

-Yes.

..if it's got yeast in? How long do you normally leave it for?

You're meant to leave it for an hour-and-a-half.

The problem is we've only got an hour-and-a-half in total.

-Yeah, you haven't made your dough yet?

-No.

-You'll try and bake it for how long?

25 minutes.

Right. So you'll rest this for about ten minutes before it goes in the oven?

-Yeah, in a warm oven.

-I think we better go, she hasn't got much time left.

-Yeah, I'm under pressure here!

-I'm looking forward to this one! Thanks, Julia.

I can tell by the look in their eyes, that they think I'm a complete idiot.

Kirsty and Julie have got all sorts of ingredients that

I would never have associated with scones.

I'm sure they know what they're doing. But I'm just keeping it traditional.

'Bob bakes about once every six months and apart from making bread,

'he's on a mission to recreate the perfect 1970s jam tart.

'Bob's sultana scones are made with lemon zest and cinnamon

'and will be served with homemade lemon curd.'

-What sort of recipe have you got? Plain flour?

-Self-raising flour.

And baking powder?

-And a bit of baking powder, yeah.

-OK.

That sounds wrong immediately, but yeah, I have.

Don't worry about having self-raising flour

and baking powder.

Self-raising flour is formulated really for cakes,

but with scones, you need the extra rise,

so adding a bit more baking powder is a good idea.

Yeah, I've tried them once and they didn't really rise, so...

I've put quite a bit of baking powder in, in the hope that they will...

-As long as we don't taste it.

-That's the key thing.

Thank you very much.

It is quite a dull scone I'm making.

Depends what you like, you know,

do you like a mongrel or do you like a Labradoodle?

'While the others keep their flavourings fairly simple,

'Julia's adding to her time worries.'

Oh, that smell. Fresh chilli, chilli, chilli, chilli!

The jalapenos and the Parma ham get gently stir-fried together.

Julia, are you beginning to realise you took on too much now?

I knew that right from the beginning. My recipe would never work within the allotted time.

But you thought something magical would happen?

-I was hoping...

-Time would stop(?)

-I was hoping for beginner's luck

and for somebody like you, Bob, who'd never cooked before.

You, on the other hand, "Oh, it's just an old recipe!"

That would not be you mocking a Scottish accent, would it?

So the original recipe for these scones requires resting time,

time for the dough to rise, about an hour-and-a-half.

I don't have that time, so apparently I've been reliably

informed that I can help that process along, speed it

along a little bit, by putting the entire mixture into a warm oven and

just letting it rise more speedily than perhaps it would like to.

I have no idea.

You seem quite at home here, Kirsty, I get the feeling...

I like a tent!

SHE LAUGHS

-Takes me back to the time before I was chucked out the Guides.

-How long were you a Guide for?

-About two years, three years.

-Did you do this kind of thing when you were Guiding?

-We did a bit of baking, yeah.

-Did you?

-But we did more camping.

-And you got little badges?

-Not so many.

No? What did you get badges in? Baking, surely?

Baking, sewing, that was it.

This is the important part, I would say.

I tell you what, there isn't 18 there, is there?

Ellie, are you using that dough?

-No, I've made enough already.

-Yeah?

So, yeah, this is just spare, but I don't know...

I suppose that would define a cheat, just using someone else's.

So I'm just doing a bit of egg wash and then I'll put them

in a hot oven for ten minutes and then swap them around, cos

I don't know if this oven is the same temperature at top and bottom.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten,

11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18!

The door's gone...oh.

I'd say, Ellie, maybe it's because you are a multi-medal-winning

Paralympian, I think you've got the most focus in the room.

I think, that's what I like to...

Yeah, you are just totally focused.

I like things to go right, so, like, I like everything...

Like these are quite chilled, I'm like...

Yeah, I think that will stand you in good stead.

'To accompany his scones, Bob is going that extra mile

'and making his own lemon curd.'

I've made the lemon curd once and it was awful.

It weren't awful, but it tasted like butter.

How bad does that look?!

So I'm putting more lemon in and more sugar...to see what happens.

I'm making butter at the moment, that's what I'm doing and I'm just

separating the buttermilk and the cream and then put it into a muslin.

I'm going to add sea salt to this, and I'll squeeze it.

The only other time I've made this before as a child in Ireland

in an old wooden churn in a blackhouse, it wasn't pasteurised.

I'll tightly roll it up.

So that that's my pat of butter and then I'll put it in the fridge.

-What I've done is, I've only made 14 scones.

-Bob.

So I've asked for a mirror and I think if I place the mirror...

-Cunningly.

-..Cunningly it'll look...

-Against just four of them.

It'll look like there's 30-odd scones,

and Paul will take some off and say "Too many, Bob."

Oh, I like that. Why did you just make 14? That was just what happened?

I'm not blaming you, I'm just wondering.

It surprised me, the 18 when I came here this morning.

When would anyone make 18 scones?

-I know.

-Unless you're like a professional caterer?

-Yeah.

Or a scone addict, you know what I mean, you just can't get enough.

Well, Comic Relief bakers, time has "scone."

You've got 15 minutes on your bake.

Paul and Mary are quite perplexed by everything about this recipe.

I couldn't get the recipe mix for 18 scones,

so I just thought I'd make them smaller and use the same mix.

Right, you're here for the moment.

-So you've egg-washed?

-I've egg-washed and they're going in.

-You're going in!

Wish me the best of luck.

Come on! Are you quite pleased with that?

I'm quite pleased with the flavours.

I think the overall skill is very, very poor.

I picked a recipe that needed double the amount of time that I have

and I've tried, as usual, to cut corners.

You'll have heard of the phrase "drop scone", yeah?

That's how we do it(!)

When I get the two-minute warning, I'll whip them out, not before.

Even distribution of colour? No.

Regular size? No.

Kirsty's looking really good on her presentation skills. Oh, my gosh.

Come on, little babies! Rise, rise!

Comic Relief bakers, one minute to go. One minute.

Quick!

I'm going for the artisan scone and I'm hoping to get points for that.

Comic Relief bakers, that is that. Step away, please.

It's a good rise you've got on those, and you've presented them beautifully.

Hasn't she? It's like Sconehenge.

Mm.

You've been thinking that for ages, haven't you?

I actually think the shape, the size is good.

-Did you put an egg wash or a milk on top of these?

-Egg wash.

It's just in patches, which again has caused the different browning in areas.

-Do you always make your own butter, Kirsty?

-No.

-Mm.

-SHE LAUGHS

How much salt did you put in there?

I put less salt in there than I would,

because I wanted to heavily salt the butter.

Yeah, I think with the butter, it's too seasoned,

because that cheese carries so much flavour with it.

I noticed actually when you were rolling it out, that it

was a little bit on the dry side, but they are, I think, rather good.

-Well done.

-Thank you.

I think they look very good and, you know, we do like original

things and that looks interesting and a lovely light texture in there.

Ellie, they are delicious.

Oh, thank you!

That consistency is beautiful.

They're light, they're like clouds.

Thank you very much.

-The texture of that is beautiful.

-It really is lovely.

-I shall make orange and chocolate myself.

-Oh, thank you very much.

I've never had an orange-and-chocolate scone myself,

but I will definitely...

Steal the idea?

Yeah, thank you very much indeed.

And make sure Ms Ellie Simmonds gets at least 80% of the profit.

Thanks, Ellie, well done.

I don't know where to look first.

They are too close in texture.

They should be a little bit lighter.

Actual flavours are absolutely delicious.

If you'd given the yeast time to work, made the dough a little wetter,

it would have lightened the dough up.

A little bit bigger on the cuts, got a nice flavour coming through,

but it's too much like a biscuit.

I needed two more hours.

-At least.

-Thank you very much, Julia.

-Thank you.

-Hello.

-Hey, Bob.

Hi, Bob.

I naively thought that you might think there were more scones

than there were if I utilised a mirror.

How many did you get?

There's not enough scones, I can't get away from that and I apologise.

Oh, you can smell that baking powder, mate.

Thank you. That's how I'd want it to be(!)

I can taste the baking powder, a little bit too much,

-but it's given a nice texture.

-Yeah.

And, as you can see, more fruit.

Of course, yes.

-You needed more fruit in there.

-Yeah.

Less baking powder, more scones.

-But other than that...

-Other than that, you got it nailed, mate.

-Eh, I turned up(!)

-That lemon curd's delicious.

-Oh, well, thank you.

If you were doing a competition, "Lemon Curd Off,"

you'd win every step of the way.

Been really positive so sets me up for my next two bakes,

which I'm really looking forward to.

No, baking is a science and it's not a science that I've ever mastered.

I think Paul's got a grudge against me.

The scone had barely touched his lips before he bleated out

that there was too much baking powder in it.

I've absolutely no idea what is going to happen

in the technical challenge.

It'll be something like choux pastry thing that we've got

to actually make it.

You know, I've never made choux pastry in my life.

Our four celebrity Comic Relief bakers are in that tent

working their little socks off in an effort to raise lots of money

and here is one of the reasons why.

I am in Ghana to find out more about my favourite ingredient - chocolate.

When you're standing there melting that chocolate for the ganache

or whipping up some chocolate butter cream,

do you ever think about the people that make this chocolate happen?

Ghana is the second-largest producer of cocoa in the world,

harvesting about one and a half tonnes a year,

making up to 20% of the world's chocolate market.

Chocolate is big-money business,

but those who farm it don't always get a fair price

for their produce, and they're the ones that need it the most.

This is where Comic Relief comes in.

By supporting organisations such as the Kuapa Kokoo Cooperative,

farmers like Samuel can command a fair price for their cocoa

which, in turn, radically improves lives.

-How are you doing?

-Fine.

-Nice to meet you.

-This is the cocoa pod.

-This is it? This is the cocoa pod?

-The ripe one.

-So, altogether, you've got this...

-Company.

-..company,

you're all united so you have a much stronger voice altogether

-and you'll be able to command much higher prices.

-Exactly.

It's very sweet.

Mm, oh yeah.

It's very sweet.

-This is very good.

-Very good, very good.

In the past, Samuel, his son Paul and his family used to

rely on the local stream for their drinking water.

TRANSLATION:

But being part of the Kuapa Kokoo Cooperative means

they have been able to buy a water pump for the village.

TRANSLATION:

With your support, projects like Kuapa Kokoo

can help many more farmers earn their rightful living

and change their lives for the better.

And donating couldn't be easier -

just pick up the phone and text the word "bake" to 70005.

Texts cost £5, plus your standard network message charge,

and £5 per text goes to Comic Relief.

You must be 16 or over and please ask the bill payer's permission.

For full terms and conditions and more information,

go to bbc.co.uk/rednoseday

Every penny really does make a difference.

If the scone challenge was tough,

then our courageous Comic Relief supporters are in for an even

rougher ride with the notoriously difficult technical bake.

Comic Relief bakers, it's the old technical challenge.

As you know, this will be judged blind

so, Paul and Mary, off to your rave tepee.

Paul, you're on the decks,

Mary, there's a podium ready and waiting for you over there,

off you go.

Now, Comic Relief bakers,

we would like you to make something which is an absolute classic.

We're asking you to make 12 chocolate eclairs.

Choux pastry?

You took the words out of my mouth, Kirsty Wark.

Mary and Paul will be expecting deliciously light choux pastry.

They will be filled with Chantilly creme

and they will be topped with delicious melted chocolate.

You've got two hours to do this.

On your marks, get set,

bake for Comic Relief.

OK, what's choux pastry?

Have you ever made it?

No, of course not. Does it tell you what to do?

Does it tell you where the nearest baker's is?

Do you like chocolate eclairs?

I love chocolate eclairs.

OK, would you like to try one, Mary? Help yourself.

Oh, how lovely.

Now, even when I catch hold of that, it's still crisp

and no chocolate dipping down.

That is sheer heaven.

I think it tastes lovely.

They're crispy, chocolate's got a nice bite to it as well

and then that lovely cream inside.

What I don't want to see is any soggy eclairs.

None of our novice bakers have ever made choux pastry before,

and the very first instruction has them baffled.

Sieve the flour onto a sheet of grease-proof paper.

Why would you put the flour on grease-proof paper?

Cos it says put it on here, then pour it into a bowl.

Weird, innit?

Like, why do you need to put it on there?

I don't know.

Is that a Paul Hollywood thing?

The grease-proof paper chute makes it easier to get

all the flour into the pan of water, melted butter and salt.

Right.

I'm just taking it easy.

-JULIA:

-Oh, this reminds me of home economics, making a roux sauce.

Working up a heat as well. Phew!

The pastry mix should stay over the heat

until the flour is cooked out and it becomes a stiff ball.

Beat the eggs and beat them into the dough.

Beat the eggs.

If it's too hot then the eggs will scramble, that much I know,

so how cool should that be?

Kirsty's off already.

-KIRSTY:

-That's it.

That's it.

So, she's off, I reckon it must be safe to go.

I think it's all right.

It's coming into the texture that I want now.

Oh, it's hard.

The final dough should be stringy so it can be piped with ease.

-Cos I'm above a certain age...

-Yeah, go on.

..12cm means absolutely nothing to me.

What's supposed to be 12cm? The actual eclair itself?

Yeah.

I think it's about that long.

See where that line is there and that line is there?

-Well, here goes.

-Come on, my love.

I think it probably needs to be wider than that.

Yeah, that's about right, that's about right.

I think that's about right.

And the question is how wide do I cut the scissors into the bag?

Right.

Just snip it like that?

That doesn't look right.

I want to do it neater but I think...

..that I'm going to wipe it off.

I'm scraping them all back in the bag.

How long have I got?

I'm going to start again and measure them.

That's not really a line.

Get in!

Come on!

Check it out though, yeah? You ought to!

Oh, I better check myself before I wet myself,

all that sort of thing.

-Right, let's pop them in then.

-Good.

Bye-bye.

15 minutes, where's my thingy?

A successful eclair relies on the oven door being shut

until the pastry has achieved a good rise and is set.

So, what I'm concerned about is that they're going to be too dark.

So I'm going to take them out

and I'm going to put them down one shelf.

Cos I don't want them to cook too quickly.

THEY LAUGH

They're like little sausages.

Yeah. I've done something wrong.

I wonder what you've done.

Yeah, they look like Bonios.

Yeah. Dog biscuits, brilliant. Just the look I was going for.

Comic Relief Bake Off dog biscuits.

Comic Relief bakers, you've got ten minutes left to pump and dunk.

I think mine are cooked.

I'm going to call it a day on that.

I thought they would rise up more but these are clearly so wrong.

They're coming out, they're coming out!

Don't drop them now, Bradders.

They don't get any better. There's no chance.

Look at that. That's pathetic.

Lordy! They're flat.

I've got to put a cut down the side of them

and insert cream, via the gift of this bag.

-Could you...

-Yeah, absolutely, I'm on duty.

-Could we work as a team?

I'm on total duty now.

-Sorry.

-Oh, you broke it!

SHE LAUGHS

SHE SNORTS

I just snorted!

Just snorted.

-I don't know what's going on.

-Stick it together.

-OK, Is that enough?

-Yeah, you've got to do it nicely.

OK, sorry, love.

And then maybe wipe the cream off.

That's really nice(!)

SHE GIGGLES

That's a very small hole there.

That's good, that's all over me. That's good.

SHE SNORTS

I snorted again! OK.

Do you think you're going to be on the medals podium

for these eclairs, Ellie?

Not really.

Dipping the eclair in chocolate and creating a smooth finish

is a tricky art, even for an experienced baker.

I'm sure this is going to be a total disaster.

Let me try... I'm going to experiment here

with painting. And I think I might go with painting.

I'm going to put my chocolate in here

so I've got a wide enough aperture to just literally dip them in.

I'm happy with this frying-pan approach.

I think the judges will probably say that they're not good.

Comic Relief bakers, you've got one minute left, one minute!

I'm cementing my eclairs together with the filling

and the chocolate

and, to be honest, I don't think Mary or Paul are going to notice.

Comic Relief bakers, the eclair challenge is now closed.

Please bring your eclairs up, put them behind your own photo, OK?

Think I'll maybe do it behind someone else's photo.

-PAUL:

-So, we'll start on this side.

They're a bit thin, if I'm going to be honest, a bit like pencils.

I think they're rather slim and elegant.

That's one way of putting them, yeah.

Surprised they managed to get any cream in there at all.

They're a pretty pale even bake all the way round.

Yes, quite doughy inside.

They have some crispness there.

If you don't dry them out, the middle of the eclair can be soggy

and it is nice to come into a crisp outside, which those have got.

Let's move onto this one. Again, slightly thicker pencils.

The colour looks OK.

Mm, cut through very nicely.

It does, it's quite crispy, it's been dried out slightly.

That tastes really good.

Plenty of cream in there and I like a lot of cream.

Good coating of chocolate.

They're not bad, them - taste's OK and is quite uniform.

This one's got a nice colour.

But they vary considerably in size.

Yeah, there was a few issues with piping on this one.

That's an interesting one, isn't it?

But they've got a good puff up.

They're crispy. OK, shall we move on to the last one?

-Yes.

-Now these all look fairly eclair-like,

but there was a problem with this mix and the bake.

It's gone very, very soft.

I think the way it's been beaten together.

Not cooked enough in the first place and not dried out

because it's soft.

It's got issues, yeah. It's got big issues.

Does it need counselling, Paul?

Stay behind afterwards for a chat.

Mary and Paul will rank the chocolate eclairs

from worst to best.

So, in fourth place is this one here.

What do you think, Kirsty? What happened?

I don't know what happened.

Maybe I didn't beat it far enough to cook in the flour.

-You may not have cooked it out properly.

-Maybe not.

And actually the last three are all very similar.

It's not bad, you've got some rise in there, got some bloom,

-but in third place is this one. Whose is this?

-That's me, Paul.

Bob, too thin on the piping, needed longer in the oven.

That's why it concertinaed up and has a bit of dough at the bottom.

But the flavour was good.

Fair enough.

And in second place is this one.

Well done, Ellie, they're really nice and you got the biggest rise

out of all of them, but just a problem with the piping.

I was impatient with them.

Obviously, number one.

I can't believe it! I'm ecstatic!

Winning the technical challenge is a genuine high

'and a complete surprise.'

To come away with second...

..I was amazed and so chuffed, as well.

Mmm.

I think this has been flown over from France.

It's that good.

So embarrassing.

I think I raced at it too fast.

It's made me think I've just got to raise my game for tomorrow.

The valiant Comic Relief bakers take their place in the marquee

for the last and most complicated of all the challenges.

Morning, Comic Relief bakers.

This is your third and final challenge.

It's the Showstopper, of course.

You have got your work cut out today because

we're asking you please to build, create, present

some 3-D novelty hand-cut cakes

in the shape of something British, OK?

You could do Valerie Singleton in sponge form,

you could do an iconic building,

like the Leatherhead Leisure Centre, it's up to you.

You've got three and a half hours

to build and finish your masterpieces.

So, on your marks, get set,

bake for Comic Relief.

-JULIA:

-It's actually quite a hard thing to do,

if you've never baked before.

I'd better get cracking.

-PAUL:

-It's all about the planning, with this one.

Baking is one thing, decorating something to make it

look like something is a completely different sphere.

MARY: It'll be very interesting to see

how they assemble this cake.

They've got to do a cut-out, they're not allowed to use a mould,

but it will be their idea

and they've got to achieve something very, very special.

You're being very meticulous. Tell us all about what you're up to.

I'm making something that's a kind of British first,

which is the Old Man of Hoy,

which is the highest sea stack in the United Kingdom.

Kirsty's ambitious structure of

the sea stack, the Old Man Of Hoy,

is made from Madeira cake.

Its dense structure should make it

more stable when stacked.

It looks quite straightforward from here,

but if you look at it from the side, it's got a wee kink.

That's the worry.

And how are you going to support this stack?

I'm going to support it by having a slightly broader,

square-ish - cos it is square-ish on the base -

and so actually keeping them quite narrow on the way up.

Will you use buttercream in between each layer

and then layer it up that way?

I'll use buttercream and raspberry jam, but just a little

tiny... Just for flavour, just a very thin skim of raspberry jam,

cos I don't want to make it too soft and so I don't want it to collapse.

I like a bit of sculpture myself.

SHE LAUGHS

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

Shall I put some more lemon in?

Do you know what I mean? Just for, like, that...

lemon inferno kind of vibe?

I wonder?

No, I won't, it might make it too... Might do something.

Bob's flavouring his sponge

with the zest of five lemons.

Using ready made icing to decorate,

his novelty cake will take on

the shape of the London underground sign, Baker Street.

Baker Street tube, how are you going to do that?

It's two cakes on top of each other,

then I take a slice out of the middle...

-Mmm?

-..move the slice across,

so that it sticks out

and I bake another little bit of cake

that makes the other end of the bit in the middle.

I'm glad you've come over, cos I've had a bit of trouble with it.

Does that look worth cooking, or does it need something?

-Baking.

-Baking, sorry.

Quite a stodgy mix.

It's the same amounts of everything, but a bit more flour.

You add more flour, of course it makes it a little bit stiffer.

-Just a drop of milk in there.

-I'll do that.

-Give it a good beat, slap it in tins and get it in the oven.

-Righty-ho.

Good luck, I'll leave it to you. Take care, Bob.

Thank you.

The cake that I'll be making is a busby cake

because that's something properly, very British and that's the theme.

Ellie's Queen's guard, complete with bearskin hat,

will be constructed from three lemon-flavoured sponges

and decorated with handmade icing.

So, this is the body and I'll cut out some legs

and make some feet and then this is the face and the hat.

You're actually going to be using

a sort of sugar paste to cover the sponge?

No, icing sugar and just water.

That's very brave of you.

Is it?

I find it hard, the decorating side, so I'll try my best.

-All right, fantastic.

-It's going to be good.

-Thank you very much.

-Bye-bye.

I think I'll be all right in time, hopefully.

Don't speak too soon.

-JULIA:

-I'm really trying to go for a simple, good, light vanilla sponge

that Paul and Mary are going to say has got a good flavour.

After that, the icing, the novelty aspect,

who knows how it's going to turn out.

Julia's adding blueberries to a basic sponge

and decorating it with a union flag

made of buttercream and food colouring,

before cutting out the Queen's profile.

Guys, you've arrived just at the moment that I'm about

to pop my sponge into the oven.

That's the sort of size it's going to be, is it?

Yeah, it's going to be that size.

Obviously, when you look at the size there...

-Yeah, yeah.

-..I'm going for that kind of shape.

It's going to be iced on top,

so it's a buttercream icing on top,

with blueberries and raspberries.

Quite simple.

I've never baked before, so I wanted to keep it simple

and go strong on the idea and hopefully

make the sponge as perfect as I can.

Fantastic, thanks very much, Julia. Good luck.

I think he thinks the whole thing is a bit too easy-peasy.

He doesn't know the trauma that we're all going through.

Right, 30 minutes.

While the cakes are baking,

everyone remains focussed.

Is that shirt, is that Jamie Oliver? Is that what it is?

I borrowed it off Jamie, yeah. It's got utensils hidden around it.

The best thing about Bob's outfit, though, is the slippers.

It's a corduroy slipper, yeah, tartan-lined.

Right, coming out.

-KIRSTY:

-The quicker I take them out, the quicker they cool.

They're a bit over-cooked, I think.

I'll be able to cover that up with icing.

ELLIE: Not even, but got a bit of a tummy.

-JULIA:

-I'm not sure if that's cooked enough.

See my little dip in there?

I'll leave that to cool now. It's going to have to do.

A successful novelty cake relies on attention

to the smallest of details.

A mixture of apricot and brown, I think, is better.

There's no going back, once you've actually tried to create

the colour of the sandstone. If you don't get it right...

..you're in trouble.

ELLIE: That's grey.

OK, just a bit grey.

This is not going to work out.

No, it's not black, it's grey.

It's getting there, though.

That's pretty good on the black front.

You'll be all right, my love.

Yeah, but I need to make it, like, even.

Yeah, fair enough.

-BOB:

-Probably my biggest challenge of this whole bake

is this letter S.

So here goes.

Check it out!

I don't usually fear the cake, but today it's become a sworn emeny...

enemeny...enemy.

-How's it going?

-It's going OK.

It's got kind of like, absolutely no taste whatsoever

and that's kind of like its unique thing.

-KIRSTY:

-I'm cutting the quarters and flattening them,

so that I'm ready to compile them.

These are my stacks.

It's a series of jam sandwiches at the moment.

What I'm going to do is I'm going to turn it round,

so it's like the opposite side,

so it keeps looking like it's slightly wonky.

I recognise them!

Ellie, I'm sorry, do you mind?

-No.

-They feel so good.

Heavy.

-Really heavy, aren't they?

-Really heavy.

-And you've got blooming four of these, Ellie.

-I know.

Have you ever had to wear all four at the same time?

Yeah, quite a bit.

Oh, that feels good, man.

Let's just see how this works.

I'm going to try and disguise the little dip with buttercream.

Oh, hello, shark.

There is method to my madness.

At least it's covered that dropped bit, anyway.

What drop? What are you talking about?

You see, if you look there.

-No, no, no, I think that's just an optical illusion.

-Think so?

I think that could be the icing, perhaps.

Comic Relief bakers, you've got 15 minutes of 3-D novelty fun to go.

This is really messy.

The real challenge, the real moment of truth,

is when I place Queenie's head on top of the sponge,

on top of the icing

and then I start to cut around my template.

Obviously, that's the moment where it could literally all crumble.

There she is.

That was the bit I was most worried about.

That is a very dinky little nest.

Very cute.

-KIRSTY:

-Look, this is where I think

-it can go all horribly wrong, to be honest.

-It looks good.

Slightly spiky on top.

It's OK, it's OK, because I've got another wee bit of thing.

Good, good, good.

That looks pretty secure, Kirsty.

Comic Relief bakers,

three minutes on your 3-D.

It's a bit tense, isn't it? I really want to finish it.

BOB GASPS

-I can tell that's the Queen.

-Well, that's amazing that you can.

I'm really impressed.

Do you find you're slightly addicted to baking now?

-No.

-OK.

It's a stressful experience, this Bake Off business, isn't it?

This is just the last seagull. That's when to stop, I think.

I'm so worried I'll break it, I'm so worried.

I think I'll knock it over if I go near it.

-Ellie?

-Yeah.

Sorry, I know this might not be the time to ask you,

but I've always wanted to know how to do a tumble turn.

ELLIE LAUGHS

Any tips?

Yeah, just give me...

Sorry, no, it's the wrong time, it is the wrong time,

but I do want a masterclass in tumble turns.

Comic Relief bakers,

you know what I'm going to say now.

Time to stop,

it's the end.

This challenge is now finished.

That looks right royal.

I like it. I can't quite see the Queen's...

It's sort of lost a little bit,

but the way you've executed it,

anyway, and given the Queen a nice strawberry nose.

Comic Relief.

So if we cut in...

Don't cut off her head, Paul! That's treason.

-You have got that dip in the middle.

-What dip?

Thin icing, then thick and then thin again.

Typically, if you add too much baking powder,

it rises up and comes down again.

Hopefully, you can't taste it.

You're very lucky, I can't taste it and I don't know why I can't,

but I should be able to.

And when you do hit that blueberry,

it's got a lovely flavour, as well, together with the whole sponge.

-But in future, just be careful of your rising agents.

-I will.

There's something quite charming about this cake.

I think it works, even the shape of the chest

from the cake coming down and the legs.

But you did all the icing yourself, didn't you? You mixed all the icing.

And none of it's run.

So we'll take a wedge out of his heart.

That's a good sponge.

It's a beautiful texture.

It's a nice, strong flavour of lemon, which I like.

It's a little bit dry,

but the texture and the flavour's there and the design, I like.

Thank you.

I would never have thought of that in a million years,

but you know exactly what it is.

It's instantly recognisable.

It's most effective

and you've done very good letters there, carving it out freehand.

-Aw!

-Cooked well.

It looks quite neat. I think you've caught it slightly in the oven.

It's gone quite brown on the outside.

It's brown on the outside,

but you've been frightfully clever at cutting it off.

I mean, looking at it there, you wouldn't notice that.

That's a good sponge.

I was expecting it to be on the heavy side,

-but it's good, isn't it?

-Mm.

-Thank you.

It's quite a professional-looking cake,

if I'm going to be honest, because it's so neat.

Well done. Thanks, Bob.

You OK?

MARY: Solid as a rock.

Just in case the Old Man of Hoy does topple over,

there's just a little...

Just for health and safety.

There we go, thanks.

I love the detail.

The little seagulls, the eggs,

the nest, the moss, the sea.

I like the idea. I think the idea's very good, it's ingenious.

It's beautifully moist.

Yeah, I actually think the flavour's good.

The idea is very good.

It has been executed well

and it does taste excellent.

-Thank you.

-Lovely, well done.

-Wowzers. Well done, Kirsty.

-KIRSTY:

-'The Old Man of Hoy was a bit left-field, for a start,'

so I think any of those three could win

and, you know, what Mary said was absolutely right,

they could be novelty cakes that people could copy.

JULIA: 'I feel a little bit disappointed

'with my baking powder faux pas.'

I think I've let myself down, I've let the cake down,

I've let the Queen down.

Paul said some nice things about my cake, cos as you know,

I've always liked Paul.

I've said throughout the show how fond I am...

No, it was nice to get some half-decent comments.

ELLIE: 'Hopefully I'll come away with Star Baker,'

but I don't mind if I don't, because I've had a great time.

Paul and Mary, we must dissect.

Let's start with Julia.

I knew it was the Queen, it looked like a stamp.

It did have too much baking powder, rising up, bit of a dip.

Overall, I think Julia's done well.

She did well on her eclairs, you know, I think they were OK.

Has her Showstopper pulled her right back

or is she still in the running, do you think?

I think the Showstopper has dropped her back a bit.

Yeah, it's not the best one here.

OK. Let's move on. Bob's Baker Street.

I really like this. I thought the idea was good, executed quite well.

That little sandwich in-between of filling really lifted it slightly.

-And it looked stunning.

-Yeah, it's a great design, isn't it?

A great design and it's one that would catch on.

Absolutely.

He's fallen short on a couple of the tech challenges, but actually,

on this one today, I think he's built himself up a little bit.

Let's move on to Ellie.

The appearance was very interesting, what she did.

As a kid's soldiers cake, excellent.

Anybody else would have, you know, done little sweeties down here

and had a great big beaming smile,

but really, our guard looked ON guard

and I was impressed.

What about yesterday, Paul?

Yesterday, I thought she did really well.

I think she's dropped slightly today with that.

OK, is she still in with a chance of a medal?

Absolutely.

Kirsty's Old Man of Hoy Showstopper.

I really liked that.

The actual cake was beautifully cooked

and the detail of those eggs

and the nest and the moss,

it all added to it.

For me, out of all the cakes, it tasted the best.

Comic Relief foursome, you've sponged,

stippled and stacked with style,

it's fair to say.

You've also been a very, very difficult group to judge,

but Paul and Mary have made their decision.

We're moments away from announcing the illustrious title

of Comic Relief Star Baker,

and this person is...

..two people.

-BOB:

-Ooh!

Our first Star Baker is somebody who's had

a few accolades in their life,

but, frankly, nothing as important

and illustrious as an apron.

Our first Star Baker is, of course,

Ellie Simmonds.

THEY CHEER

-Well done, Ellie, good work. There you go.

-Thank you.

Beat any gold, that Ellie.

Better than winning a medal

-at the Paralympics?

-Yeah, it's well nicer.

ELLIE LAUGHS

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you so much, Ellie.

THEY CHEER

Now, our second Star Baker blew the judges away with

the fantastic flavour of their Showstopper cake.

Our second Star Baker

goes to Kirsty Wark.

THEY CHEER

Well done, Kirsty!

Well done.

Nice cake. There you go, my dear.

-KIRSTY:

-Ellie!

Two Star Bakers.

-PAUL:

-'Ellie was good over all of the challenges,'

but on the other hand, Kirsty came from nowhere and just flew

'and that's why she had to win, as well.'

What an apron! Look at this apron.

I don't think I'll ever take it off, I'll wear this on Newsnight.

Kirsty had so upped her game with originality,

'but the highest points came from Ellie,'

so that's why we had two.

It seemed the fairest answer.

Really pleased, like, to have this apron.

Oh, I'm so happy and I can't wait to tell everyone, now, as well.

-BOB:

-'This was a brilliant way to be involved in Comic Relief.'

It was quite a challenge, met some lovely people.

I hope the Comic Relief Bake Off

inspires people to do one of two things -

either to have their own Comic Relief Bake Off

to raise funny money, or just donate.

If that motley crew have inspired you

to get baking for Comic Relief,

then why not go out and buy

the Great Comic Relief Bake Off booklet?

It's full of recipes to inspire you

when you're organising your own bake sale.

For more information go to...

'Next time, the final four well-known personalities

'will battle it out over Signature biscuits...'

The aggression is coming out.

'..technically tricky lemon meringue pies...'

'..and Showstopping birthday cakes...'

Just feel my heart rate's gone up!

'..in a bid to claim the last title of Comic Relief Star Baker.'

Woo!

That's scrummy, isn't it?

That flavour is divine.

Oh, no!

SHE BREATHES OUT SLOWLY

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd